Original subtitles

[PIANO PLAYING LIVELY TUNE]

[MALE VOICE HUMMING]

MALE: I wowed them in Waukegan.

[MALE HUMMING IN BARITONE VOICE]

MALE: I slayed them in Scranton.

[MALE HUMMING IN BARITONE VOICE]

MALE: I panicked them in Peoria.

[MALE HUMMING IN BARITONE VOICE]

I killed them in Cucamnnga.

Thank you very much. I may have a spot for you. Next, please.

[CHICKEN CLUCKING CLASSICAL MELODY]

Aah!

So I laid an egg.

Hey, Mac, look, why don't you give yourself a break.

I've got the act you've been looking for all your life. I'm telling you--

Well, all right, but you'll just have to wait for your turn.

-Now, wait outside, please. -Oh....

[STAMMERING] I wonder what's next.

[BUZZ]

I am known as "The Man With A Thousand Voices." Shall I do my stuff?

Yes, go right ahead.

[IN MULTIPLE VOICES] "That's ajoke, son. That's ajoke, that is." "What's up, doc?"

"Hold the phone, boss!" "Everybody wants to get into the act."

[PANTING]

[STAMMERING] But that was only 999 voices.

Shucks, I know I've got another one.

Well, I'll think of it.

-I'm Bingo. -I'm Frankie.

I'm AI. Mammy. Mammy.

That's my mammy I'm talking about. Nobody else's.

My mammy, IteII you. Mammy.

Cut the hubbub, bub. Let's get this thing off the ground.

Roger, pops, take off. A one, a two, a three.

[SINGING] When April showers May come your way

They bring the flowers that bloom in May

So if it's raining Have no regrets

Because it isn't raining

-When you know it's raining violet MICROPHONE: Oh!

And when you see clouds

When you see clouds upon a hill

No, you're not looking at clouds

No, you're looking at daffodils

So keep on looking Keep looking for the bluebird

And listening for his song

Whenever April showers come along

Thank you. I'll let you know if anything comes up.

That's really not high-class enough.

It's strictly for those silly, swooning bobby-soxers.

Boy, two-headed. This ought to be a sensational act.

BOTH: Act, schmact. I'm thejanitor.

Hey, Mac. Listen, Mac, why don't you wise up.

I tell you, I've got the most sensational act.

To put it mildly, it's colossal.

I told you before, you have to wait your turn.

Now outside with you.

Hattie's the name. J. Finnan Hattie.

I'll show you what I'm gonna do.

I'm gonna place this suitcase upon the floor.

Then I'm gonna open the suitcase.

I'm going to seat myself upon this unique platform...

...and I'm gonna manipulate this lever, and I'm gonna zoom into the air.

I'm gonna soar up to the stratospheric heights...

...500 feet above sea level.

I'm gonna take my stance in a diving position at the platform's edge.

Note the perfect form. And I'm gonna dive into the air.

I'm gonna dive, not into a tank of water, not into a bucket of water.

No. I'll tell you what I'm gonna dive into.

An ordinary drinking glass. Observe.

[THUMPING AND CRASHING]

Now go ahead, sir.

Lookit here, why waste your time with these crumbs...

...when opportunity is banging your door down.

I got the act you been looking for all your life.

Oh, a dog act, huh?

Nope. My card, sir.

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

[FLEAS HUMMING]

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

[FLEAS HUMMING]

[DOOR CLOSES]

Positively your last chance, Mac. The greatest act of the century.

Okay, it's your turn now. Let's see your terrific act.

Say, that really is terrific.

Yeah, but there's just one tiny little thing wrong with it.

I can only do it once.

[English - us - SDH]