All language subtitles for Little Britain USA S01E02 Episode 2

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,070 --> 00:00:13,790 Britain and America, the two greatest goddamn nations in the world. 2 00:00:13,790 --> 00:00:17,550 Anyone who disagrees with me, is a dirty foreigner. 3 00:00:17,550 --> 00:00:19,830 We share so much. 4 00:00:19,830 --> 00:00:24,310 A language, a moral high ground, and a love of war. 5 00:00:24,310 --> 00:00:27,230 But what about the people of Britain and America? 6 00:00:27,230 --> 00:00:30,950 The ordinary folk who make these lands so great. 7 00:00:30,950 --> 00:00:33,910 Who are they? What do they? How do you do? 8 00:00:33,910 --> 00:00:39,750 Let's take a looking at them now, in Little Britain USA. 9 00:00:43,070 --> 00:00:46,230 One thing both of our countries can be proud of 10 00:00:46,230 --> 00:00:50,470 is the finest juvenile delinquents in the world. 11 00:00:50,470 --> 00:00:54,790 At this boot camp in Utah, some new inmates have arrived. 12 00:00:54,790 --> 00:00:56,670 Everybody out! 13 00:00:56,670 --> 00:00:58,510 On the double! 14 00:00:58,510 --> 00:01:03,030 Make a line, move it ladies, move it ladies, move! 15 00:01:03,030 --> 00:01:04,990 Let's go! 16 00:01:08,590 --> 00:01:11,683 Welcome to Wilderness Lodge. 17 00:01:11,683 --> 00:01:13,950 You are here for a reason. 18 00:01:13,950 --> 00:01:21,049 Arson, drug-abuse, violence, it's going to be tough. 19 00:01:21,049 --> 00:01:25,000 But if you stick to the rules, you'll survive. 20 00:01:25,740 --> 00:01:28,100 OK. Roll call. 21 00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:31,125 Leitasha Dean? Yeah. 22 00:01:31,125 --> 00:01:33,308 Haley Evans? Yeah. 23 00:01:33,308 --> 00:01:35,330 Natalie Kirk. Yeah. 24 00:01:35,330 --> 00:01:37,090 Vicky Pollard. 25 00:01:37,760 --> 00:01:38,360 Yeah. 26 00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:42,047 But, no, but yeah, but no, but yeah. 27 00:01:42,047 --> 00:01:43,630 It is me, but, I shouldn't actually be here 28 00:01:43,690 --> 00:01:47,043 let me tell you the whole thing. Because something I know nothing about 29 00:01:47,043 --> 00:01:49,106 Because A whole load of us went to Disney World, 30 00:01:49,106 --> 00:01:51,670 only we all got chucked out for beating up the Aristocats, 31 00:01:51,810 --> 00:01:54,310 and Hanna Garvey said we should all go back in after midnight 32 00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:56,438 and burn down the Peter Pan ride, as a joke. 33 00:01:56,438 --> 00:01:57,430 So we all went back. 34 00:01:57,490 --> 00:01:59,980 But I never done nothing, only pour the petrol, 35 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:01,110 light the match. That is it. 36 00:02:01,190 --> 00:02:03,080 All of a sudden, I well started getting blamed for it. 37 00:02:03,190 --> 00:02:05,690 But if Kelly Rayman says it was me, don't listen to her, 38 00:02:05,780 --> 00:02:07,400 cos everyone knows she dyes her moustache. 39 00:02:08,130 --> 00:02:13,030 I have no idea what you just said. What the hell are you talking about? 40 00:02:13,090 --> 00:02:16,340 Oh my God, you're so racist. I just told you the whole thing, so shut up! 41 00:02:16,450 --> 00:02:18,800 Have you been talking to Shelley Cayman? Because I've to talk about Shelley Cayman Because is well a mixer. 42 00:02:18,910 --> 00:02:23,710 She completely hates me because she really fancies Tony Tozer, 43 00:02:23,760 --> 00:02:25,010 and she's really had it in for me 44 00:02:25,020 --> 00:02:27,390 ever since Tony fingered me round the back of the youth hostel 45 00:02:27,420 --> 00:02:29,410 When she found out, she went totally mental. 46 00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:30,980 Anyway, I was never even anywhere near that river, 47 00:02:31,050 --> 00:02:32,500 so how could I have pushed that woman in? 48 00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:36,460 OK, shut up now, you're giving me a headache. 49 00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:38,140 I never even said anything anyway. 50 00:02:38,290 --> 00:02:40,060 Cos this place is like, well gay. 51 00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:42,880 I said shut up! 52 00:02:42,990 --> 00:02:43,900 Yeah, and I have shut up. 53 00:02:43,930 --> 00:02:46,300 So shut up telling me to shut up. Shut up! 54 00:02:46,990 --> 00:02:48,460 Yeah, everyone, shut up. 55 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:52,380 I said SHUT UP! 56 00:02:52,850 --> 00:02:54,090 Shut up. 57 00:02:55,530 --> 00:02:56,780 That was an echo. 58 00:02:57,740 --> 00:03:01,500 OK, everybody inside on the double. 59 00:03:01,590 --> 00:03:04,660 You will be given your bunk assignments. Move! 60 00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:07,310 Can I just say something, actually, 61 00:03:07,350 --> 00:03:08,890 cos I haven't actually had the chance to say anything yet? 62 00:03:09,030 --> 00:03:10,380 I'm well not sharing. Can I just say that? 63 00:03:10,510 --> 00:03:12,670 Know that fat girl with the manky foot? 64 00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:14,050 She was eyeing me up on coach. 65 00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:14,990 I reckon she's a lezzer. 66 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:16,530 I don't want to be getting changed 67 00:03:16,590 --> 00:03:18,100 and have her staring at my Dawson's Creek. 68 00:03:18,520 --> 00:03:20,920 RUN! 69 00:03:21,460 --> 00:03:22,400 Fine. 70 00:03:25,470 --> 00:03:30,510 Britain has had rude and unhelpful receptionists for thousands of years. 71 00:03:30,810 --> 00:03:33,840 Carol Beer exemplifies this fine tradition. 72 00:03:34,130 --> 00:03:35,310 Hello. 73 00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:42,790 Hi. Hello. 74 00:03:43,110 --> 00:03:45,280 Welcome to St John's Hospital. 75 00:03:45,520 --> 00:03:48,970 My name is Carol. How can I help you? 76 00:03:49,040 --> 00:03:51,220 We need to go straight to the maternity ward. 77 00:03:51,630 --> 00:03:53,280 Right. Admissions. 78 00:03:53,930 --> 00:03:56,360 Name? Helen Fisher. 79 00:03:56,530 --> 00:03:58,430 You don't look like a Helen. 80 00:03:59,920 --> 00:04:02,910 No. I'm Helen Fisher. I'm Graham Fisher. 81 00:04:02,990 --> 00:04:04,489 Are your brother and sister? 82 00:04:04,490 --> 00:04:07,670 No, we're married. My wife's about to have a baby. 83 00:04:10,130 --> 00:04:11,920 Computer says, "no". 84 00:04:13,090 --> 00:04:15,580 What? Baby's not due yet. 85 00:04:15,650 --> 00:04:17,039 I've got you down for next week. 86 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:20,090 Oh, woah. Look, her water broke. OK. 87 00:04:20,190 --> 00:04:21,560 She's having it now. This is urgent. 88 00:04:21,630 --> 00:04:24,730 Right. Better put you under urgent admissions. 89 00:04:29,530 --> 00:04:31,900 Just waiting for the page to come up. 90 00:04:42,510 --> 00:04:45,130 The computer's a bit slow today. 91 00:04:46,020 --> 00:04:48,000 Right. Name? 92 00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:50,620 Helen Fisher. 93 00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:55,720 How did you hear about the hospital? 94 00:04:57,020 --> 00:04:59,630 It's just our nearest hospital. OK? 95 00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:03,660 How satisfied are you with the cleanliness of the hospital? 96 00:05:04,060 --> 00:05:07,020 It's fine, it's fine! On a scale of one to 10? 97 00:05:07,530 --> 00:05:11,550 One being extremely dissatisfied to 10 being almost too satisfied. 98 00:05:11,900 --> 00:05:14,340 Look! My wife is about to give birth. 99 00:05:14,470 --> 00:05:17,060 Can you just call the doctor, please? It's Dr Seymour. 100 00:05:18,350 --> 00:05:20,150 Computer says, "no". 101 00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:21,729 Why? 102 00:05:21,730 --> 00:05:23,749 We've got more than one Dr Seymour. 103 00:05:23,750 --> 00:05:26,330 Do you mean the Dr Seymour in the maternity ward 104 00:05:26,550 --> 00:05:29,290 or the Dr Seymour in the artificial limb unit? 105 00:05:29,920 --> 00:05:31,420 Well, what do you think? 106 00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:41,300 I think it's probably the one in the maternity ward. 107 00:05:42,250 --> 00:05:44,129 Oh! I think it's coming. 108 00:05:44,130 --> 00:05:45,320 This is unbelievable. 109 00:05:45,410 --> 00:05:47,200 Would you just call the doctor, please! 110 00:05:48,150 --> 00:05:49,820 Dr Seymour. 111 00:05:51,280 --> 00:05:53,340 Dr Seymour! 112 00:05:54,410 --> 00:05:56,350 He's not responding. 113 00:05:56,350 --> 00:05:58,310 On the telephone! 114 00:06:05,380 --> 00:06:07,420 Hello, Ticket Master? 115 00:06:07,670 --> 00:06:10,279 I'd like to book a ticket for Phantom Of the Opera, please. 116 00:06:10,280 --> 00:06:11,570 Yes, I'll hold. 117 00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:13,700 I'll call him straight after. 118 00:06:18,900 --> 00:06:23,120 British people have always been fascinated by the Deep South. 119 00:06:23,290 --> 00:06:27,750 We marvel at how liberal your views are there, compared to ours. 120 00:06:27,910 --> 00:06:30,680 Did you hear on the local news about the man downtown? 121 00:06:30,810 --> 00:06:33,930 They say he got attacked just for the colour of his skin. 122 00:06:34,170 --> 00:06:37,670 That's terrible. There's so much racism nowadays. 123 00:06:37,900 --> 00:06:40,330 There was plenty of racism in your day, Grandma. 124 00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:43,270 You may think that, but truth is, 125 00:06:43,310 --> 00:06:45,330 folk were pretty tolerant in them days. 126 00:06:45,580 --> 00:06:48,560 I remember in the town there was a black gentleman. 127 00:06:48,560 --> 00:06:52,310 He was a preacher, man of God. And he run for mayor 128 00:06:52,620 --> 00:06:55,640 And some of the townfolk elders were up in arms, 129 00:06:55,770 --> 00:06:57,850 "We ain't gonna vote for no Negro," they said. 130 00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:59,850 But he was a popular man. 131 00:07:00,010 --> 00:07:03,130 - And he became Mayor. - that's wonderful 132 00:07:03,370 --> 00:07:06,640 Turns out, he was also a Jew, so we shot him. 133 00:07:10,550 --> 00:07:13,680 Divorce is now such a cultural phenomenon in America 134 00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:16,494 that Dolly Parton even wrote a famous song about it 135 00:07:16,494 --> 00:07:19,540 called, of course, 9 To 5. 136 00:07:19,860 --> 00:07:21,630 So, you're leaving me for a woman? 137 00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:25,600 - Yeah. - Now you're a lesbian. 138 00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:28,740 Yeah. Look, can we just get this over with? 139 00:07:29,430 --> 00:07:31,410 I think this is your Scrabble. 140 00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:32,350 Yeah. 141 00:07:33,150 --> 00:07:34,820 I just didn't see the signs. 142 00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:36,370 I had no clue you were into women. 143 00:07:38,730 --> 00:07:40,840 Ellen DeGeneres Live In Lesbos? 144 00:07:41,710 --> 00:07:43,140 Yeah, it's mine. 145 00:07:43,640 --> 00:07:45,020 No Balls, Please. 146 00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:46,960 The autobiography of Billie-Jean King? 147 00:07:47,250 --> 00:07:48,510 - It's mine. - You sure? 148 00:07:48,700 --> 00:07:50,770 Yeah, I'm sure. 149 00:07:52,420 --> 00:07:54,350 Jodie Foster's Comfortable Shoes? 150 00:07:54,490 --> 00:07:57,010 - Oh, yeah. I asked for those for Christmas, remember? - Yeah. 151 00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:02,270 KD Lang action figure? 152 00:08:03,410 --> 00:08:05,650 Anne Heche, The Early Years. 153 00:08:06,540 --> 00:08:08,610 Cagney And Lacey massage oil? 154 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:12,230 Yeah, these are all mine. Yeah. 155 00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:16,310 Set of The L-Word egg cups. 156 00:08:16,650 --> 00:08:20,030 Oh, yeah, I never use those, but they are mine. Yeah. 157 00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,720 Virginia Woolf blow-up doll? 158 00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:26,030 Oh! That was a present from... from Gillian. 159 00:08:27,140 --> 00:08:29,320 So her name's Gillian? 160 00:08:29,820 --> 00:08:30,650 Yeah. 161 00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:35,960 Oprah and Gayle's Big Book Of Dungarees? 162 00:08:36,220 --> 00:08:37,900 They're not lesbians, are they? 163 00:08:38,030 --> 00:08:39,050 No. No. 164 00:08:41,650 --> 00:08:46,292 Martina Navratilova's Guide To Drinking From The Furry Cup? 165 00:08:47,203 --> 00:08:48,760 Yeah, that's... 166 00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:50,880 mine, too. 167 00:08:51,120 --> 00:08:53,580 I guess...that's it. 168 00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:55,430 I suppose this is goodbye. 169 00:08:56,960 --> 00:08:58,620 Wait a sec, what's this? 170 00:08:58,723 --> 00:09:01,100 Sir Ian McKellen's Book Of Men's Bottoms? 171 00:09:01,250 --> 00:09:03,050 Oh, that's mine. 172 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:10,940 80% of Americans are morbidly obese. 173 00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:13,860 The other 20% are just plain fat. 174 00:09:14,110 --> 00:09:17,560 That's why British weight-loss instructor, Marjorie Dawes, 175 00:09:17,690 --> 00:09:19,460 has come to dispense advice. 176 00:09:19,670 --> 00:09:21,250 Hello, fatties! 177 00:09:22,460 --> 00:09:25,480 Hello. My God, some of you are big. 178 00:09:25,980 --> 00:09:26,840 OK. 179 00:09:27,070 --> 00:09:30,840 I'd like to start with a little game that I play with my British chubs, 180 00:09:30,990 --> 00:09:34,760 called, What's My Low-Fat Option? All right? 181 00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:40,610 Now, we all like fattening foods, don't we? 182 00:09:40,700 --> 00:09:42,820 Yeah. That's why we are fat, isn't it? 183 00:09:43,020 --> 00:09:44,810 Well, you are, I'm not. 184 00:09:45,230 --> 00:09:47,650 So, what I'm going to do is, 185 00:09:47,710 --> 00:09:51,270 I'm going to ask you each to tell me your favourite fattening food, 186 00:09:51,420 --> 00:09:55,086 and then I'm going to come up with a low-fat option for you. All right? 187 00:09:55,086 --> 00:09:56,870 Who wants to go first? 188 00:09:57,100 --> 00:09:58,450 Pop your fat paws up. 189 00:09:59,830 --> 00:10:01,960 - This , my love - Hi, I'm Jenny. 190 00:10:02,190 --> 00:10:04,170 And I like ice cream. 191 00:10:04,300 --> 00:10:05,560 Mmm, ice cream. 192 00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:09,240 I think you LOVE ice cream,don't you? Mmm. 193 00:10:09,270 --> 00:10:11,890 Well, my advice to you, big Jenny, would be, 194 00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:16,460 instead of ice-cream, have an ice cube. Yes? 195 00:10:16,570 --> 00:10:19,030 They are delicious and very low in fat. 196 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:20,860 So, I'm going to put that up on the board 197 00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:23,820 because that's your low-fat option. 198 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:25,750 Ice... 199 00:10:26,170 --> 00:10:27,990 ..koob. 200 00:10:29,070 --> 00:10:31,880 It's quite fun this, isn't it? It's a good laugh. 201 00:10:32,110 --> 00:10:34,970 OK. So, who wants to go next? 202 00:10:35,530 --> 00:10:37,060 Yes, you, the fat man. 203 00:10:37,910 --> 00:10:40,710 It's Tony. Fat Tony, yeah. 204 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:43,590 I love hamburgers. I eat a hamburger every day. 205 00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:45,730 Every hour, by the looks of you! 206 00:10:46,950 --> 00:10:48,580 Cos he's very fat, yeah. 207 00:10:48,740 --> 00:10:52,290 Now, what I would say to you, fat Tony, is, 208 00:10:52,330 --> 00:10:56,290 it's the things inside the burger that make them fattening. OK? 209 00:10:56,330 --> 00:10:59,650 So, cut out the mayonnaise, cut out the Swiss cheese, 210 00:10:59,850 --> 00:11:02,450 cut out the ketchup, cut out the beef, 211 00:11:02,580 --> 00:11:04,500 and just have the bun. OK? 212 00:11:04,740 --> 00:11:06,692 And that's your low-fat option. 213 00:11:06,692 --> 00:11:07,698 All right? 214 00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:09,570 Dry... 215 00:11:09,990 --> 00:11:11,410 bun. 216 00:11:12,050 --> 00:11:16,770 Delish! OK, so... let's have another fatty. 217 00:11:16,860 --> 00:11:17,990 Who have we got? 218 00:11:18,140 --> 00:11:20,430 Yes, my illegal friend, yes, 219 00:11:20,730 --> 00:11:23,590 what's your favourite fattening food? 220 00:11:23,770 --> 00:11:24,960 Chocolate. 221 00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:27,730 Sorry, I couldn't quite... 222 00:11:28,050 --> 00:11:29,350 Chocolate. 223 00:11:29,464 --> 00:11:31,227 - Do it again. -Chocolate. 224 00:11:31,398 --> 00:11:34,167 - Do it again. -Chocolate. 225 00:11:34,331 --> 00:11:36,069 - Do it again. -Chocolate. 226 00:11:36,069 --> 00:11:37,121 - Do it again. -Chocolate. 227 00:11:37,121 --> 00:11:37,883 - Do it again. -Chocolate. 228 00:11:37,883 --> 00:11:38,719 - Do it again. -Chocolate. 229 00:11:38,719 --> 00:11:40,042 - Do it again. -Chocolate. 230 00:11:40,042 --> 00:11:41,945 I don't know what she's saying.Do it again. 231 00:11:41,945 --> 00:11:42,711 Chocolate. 232 00:11:42,711 --> 00:11:44,788 She doesn't know what she's...Do it again. 233 00:11:44,788 --> 00:11:45,767 Chocolate. 234 00:11:45,770 --> 00:11:47,156 - Do it again. -Chocolate. 235 00:11:47,156 --> 00:11:48,235 - Do it again. -Chocolate. 236 00:11:48,235 --> 00:11:49,217 - Do it again. -Chocolate. 237 00:11:49,217 --> 00:11:50,068 - Do it again. -Chocolate. 238 00:11:50,193 --> 00:11:50,990 - Do it again. -Chocolate. 239 00:11:50,990 --> 00:11:52,177 Chocolate. Chocolate. Chocolate. 240 00:11:52,177 --> 00:11:54,545 - Do to again - Chocolate. Chocolate. Chocolate. 241 00:11:55,095 --> 00:11:57,980 - Do it again. -Chocolate. 242 00:11:57,980 --> 00:11:59,709 Oh, choc...! No, do it again? 243 00:11:59,744 --> 00:12:03,760 - Chocolate. Mmm. - Must be something they eat over there. 244 00:12:04,100 --> 00:12:04,960 I don't know. 245 00:12:05,230 --> 00:12:07,059 Beans, I would imagine. 246 00:12:07,094 --> 00:12:10,650 So, what is the low-fat alternative to beans? Anybody? 247 00:12:10,810 --> 00:12:12,310 A bean. 248 00:12:12,680 --> 00:12:16,100 OK. Yes. 249 00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:18,390 And that is your... 250 00:12:18,560 --> 00:12:20,840 low-fat option. 251 00:12:21,230 --> 00:12:22,260 OK? 252 00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:26,150 All right. So, we've got time for one more. 253 00:12:26,190 --> 00:12:27,820 Yes, the old one, yes. 254 00:12:27,950 --> 00:12:32,090 Actually, I just wanted to let everyone know my birthday's today, 255 00:12:32,170 --> 00:12:35,550 and if anyone would like to come to my place afterwards for drinks, 256 00:12:35,570 --> 00:12:37,020 you're welcome. 257 00:12:37,150 --> 00:12:37,829 No, we shan't. 258 00:12:37,829 --> 00:12:40,800 Well, we remembered, and so I baked you this cake. 259 00:12:40,850 --> 00:12:42,640 Happy birthday! 260 00:12:42,690 --> 00:12:43,830 No! 261 00:12:44,196 --> 00:12:46,229 I'm confiscating this. 262 00:12:46,230 --> 00:12:48,740 But it's her birthday, I made it. 263 00:12:48,790 --> 00:12:49,940 I'm sorry, it's for her own good. 264 00:12:50,020 --> 00:12:52,740 If she took one bite, we'd have to roll her out of here. 265 00:12:53,470 --> 00:12:55,700 OK, that's all we've time for, 266 00:12:55,780 --> 00:12:57,710 so if you'd like to waddle out of the room, 267 00:12:57,760 --> 00:13:00,240 we'll see you all next week. Cheerio! 268 00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:04,520 We can have a drink, I guess. 269 00:13:04,780 --> 00:13:06,770 I got to tell her something, I'll be right there. 270 00:13:10,230 --> 00:13:12,200 Um, I'm going on vacation next Friday 271 00:13:12,250 --> 00:13:14,960 so I won't be here for the class next week, is that OK? 272 00:13:15,210 --> 00:13:16,870 Marjorie? 273 00:13:18,060 --> 00:13:19,190 Marjorie? 274 00:13:22,980 --> 00:13:27,650 Sure. Just make sure you eat sensibly while you're away. 275 00:13:37,310 --> 00:13:39,900 Many miles away, in Dayton, Ohio. 276 00:13:40,070 --> 00:13:43,760 This American couple are waiting for their British relatives to arrive. 277 00:13:44,020 --> 00:13:46,530 I'm making cucumber sandwiches and some scones. 278 00:13:46,710 --> 00:13:48,670 What to British people like to drink? 279 00:13:48,770 --> 00:13:50,960 Tea will be fine, I'm sure. With cold milk. 280 00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:54,590 I am nervous. I just want everything to be right for them. 281 00:13:54,850 --> 00:13:56,063 I know they're rather proper, 282 00:13:56,063 --> 00:13:58,590 - but he's just my cousin, honey, we'll be fine. - OK. 283 00:14:02,720 --> 00:14:06,476 - Hi, welcome, Gerald. - hello,cousin 284 00:14:06,476 --> 00:14:08,590 Yes, of course. Lovely to meet you. 285 00:14:08,590 --> 00:14:10,074 - Welcome. - Little Harvey. 286 00:14:10,074 --> 00:14:13,500 Harvey, oh, my goodness, how big you look. 287 00:14:13,610 --> 00:14:13,930 Please, come in. 288 00:14:14,030 --> 00:14:15,370 Set your luggage anywhere. 289 00:14:16,370 --> 00:14:17,936 Kelly is in the kitchen making some tea. 290 00:14:17,936 --> 00:14:19,579 Tea, wonderful. 291 00:14:19,750 --> 00:14:21,210 It's a lovely house you have here. 292 00:14:21,320 --> 00:14:23,010 Thank you. Yes, it's beautiful. 293 00:14:23,030 --> 00:14:25,700 I'm sure it doesn't compare to your stately home. 294 00:14:25,750 --> 00:14:27,280 But we like it. 295 00:14:28,130 --> 00:14:29,126 Tea, anybody? Ah. 296 00:14:29,126 --> 00:14:32,164 - This is my wife, Kelly. - Hi,Hello. 297 00:14:32,220 --> 00:14:35,120 It's so nice to finally meet you. 298 00:14:35,140 --> 00:14:37,490 - Hello. - Hi, Harvey. 299 00:14:38,130 --> 00:14:39,680 What can I get everyone? 300 00:14:39,750 --> 00:14:41,260 I'll begin with a sandwich, please. 301 00:14:41,510 --> 00:14:43,780 Same for me, please. Thank you. 302 00:14:43,970 --> 00:14:45,700 Are you going to have anything, Harvey? 303 00:14:45,730 --> 00:14:46,728 Bitty. 304 00:14:46,728 --> 00:14:49,040 Oh, you had bitty on the plane, darling. 305 00:14:49,350 --> 00:14:50,600 Want bitty. 306 00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:54,990 Are you absolutely sure you don't mind us staying for the whole week? 307 00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:57,680 Oh, don't be silly. It'll be a pleasure having you here. 308 00:14:57,700 --> 00:15:00,460 - Bitty! - Maybe later, hmm? 309 00:15:00,510 --> 00:15:02,104 - Want bitty now! - Come on, Harvey. 310 00:15:02,104 --> 00:15:04,000 You've had enough bitty for one day. 311 00:15:04,230 --> 00:15:07,890 - Want bitty. - Oh, all right, then. 312 00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:22,680 So, what do you recommend we do while we're here? 313 00:15:23,010 --> 00:15:28,270 The...um, the art museum is popular. 314 00:15:28,990 --> 00:15:31,130 I hope they don't have too much of that modern art. 315 00:15:31,700 --> 00:15:33,440 Mmm. Right. 316 00:15:33,620 --> 00:15:36,370 National... Park. 317 00:15:36,540 --> 00:15:40,180 ..park may be more your thing. 318 00:15:40,810 --> 00:15:42,838 Ooh, you're biting me. 319 00:15:42,838 --> 00:15:45,261 Sorry, Mummy. 320 00:15:46,646 --> 00:15:49,493 There's so much to see We'd better make a proper list, 321 00:15:49,760 --> 00:15:50,960 hadn't we, Gerald? 322 00:15:51,140 --> 00:15:53,230 Oh, yes, make a list, dear. 323 00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:56,960 No, no, no, that's enough, now, Harvey. 324 00:15:56,990 --> 00:15:57,858 Want more bitty. 325 00:15:57,858 --> 00:16:00,880 - I'm sorry, I've got nothing left. - Want more bitty. 326 00:16:06,609 --> 00:16:08,864 Bitty. 327 00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:10,800 Would you mind? 328 00:16:13,075 --> 00:16:14,517 Oh... 329 00:16:17,470 --> 00:16:19,230 Well, we're all family. 330 00:16:27,970 --> 00:16:32,170 On both sides of the Atlantic, marriage is a wonderful way 331 00:16:32,210 --> 00:16:35,920 of destroying not just your own life, but also somebody else's. 332 00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:37,590 Monkeys. 333 00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:41,830 That looks like the male monkey over there. 334 00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:46,980 That smaller fat ugly one must be the female monkey. 335 00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:49,480 So... 336 00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:53,640 Sitting at opposite ends. 337 00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:56,490 Couldn't be further apart from each other. 338 00:16:58,250 --> 00:16:59,720 So... 339 00:17:00,780 --> 00:17:03,530 Maybe they where once in love, but... 340 00:17:04,830 --> 00:17:07,370 that love died a long time ago. 341 00:17:08,030 --> 00:17:10,120 And all his hopes and dreams with it. 342 00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:15,290 Now they're trapped in a cage. 343 00:17:16,420 --> 00:17:19,470 Imprisoned together in misery. 344 00:17:24,270 --> 00:17:27,630 I really am now just waiting for you to die. 345 00:17:28,660 --> 00:17:30,520 Right, the tortoise. 346 00:17:39,350 --> 00:17:40,640 Over at the White House, 347 00:17:40,790 --> 00:17:45,400 the President is having his first meeting with the new British Prime Minister. 348 00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:48,889 Do you have the documents British Intelligence put together? 349 00:17:48,890 --> 00:17:50,550 I have them here. 350 00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:52,650 I got the Foreign Office to make a copy for you. 351 00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:55,179 What are the bullet points? 352 00:17:55,180 --> 00:17:58,200 Basically, there is a potential threat to our countries. 353 00:17:58,300 --> 00:18:00,644 Nuclear capabilities in the Middle East are being built up. 354 00:18:00,644 --> 00:18:01,583 As we thought. 355 00:18:01,650 --> 00:18:05,740 What we need to do, Mr President, is put on a show of strength. 356 00:18:05,930 --> 00:18:07,310 It's a good idea, Prime Minister. 357 00:18:07,440 --> 00:18:10,280 I mean, if we pose together with our shirts off for the world's press? 358 00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:13,920 What? 359 00:18:13,940 --> 00:18:17,040 We could get all oiled up and have a wrestle. 360 00:18:18,550 --> 00:18:21,300 Wrestle? Yeah, because wrestling is quite macho. 361 00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:22,830 I'd let you win, obviously. 362 00:18:23,110 --> 00:18:25,680 Cos you're the President of the United States of America. 363 00:18:26,290 --> 00:18:28,228 I'm not so sure that's a great idea, Prime Minister. 364 00:18:28,228 --> 00:18:31,760 Why don't I get my advisers to put together a few options for us? 365 00:18:34,650 --> 00:18:36,050 We wouldn't have to be naked. 366 00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:38,740 No? 367 00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:40,870 Unless you want, no. We could wear thongs. 368 00:18:40,970 --> 00:18:43,940 Probably be more appropriate, as we are world leaders. 369 00:18:46,790 --> 00:18:49,780 - Sorry to bother you. - Hello, darling. 370 00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:53,600 - Prime Minister, have you met Mrs Steel? - Is she your mum? 371 00:18:55,690 --> 00:18:56,980 No, she's my wife. 372 00:18:57,240 --> 00:18:59,080 - Hello, Prime Minister. - Hi. 373 00:18:59,430 --> 00:19:02,090 - Welcome to the White House. - Whatever. 374 00:19:03,050 --> 00:19:05,540 Are you enjoying your stay here with us? 375 00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:07,700 Um, I was, yeah. 376 00:19:08,100 --> 00:19:09,700 Sorry, we're having a meeting here. 377 00:19:09,810 --> 00:19:11,500 About, like, world things. 378 00:19:11,790 --> 00:19:13,720 Excuse me. I'm sorry. 379 00:19:13,980 --> 00:19:16,440 Darling, I just came by to let you know 380 00:19:16,580 --> 00:19:18,760 I've managed to move my meeting forward 381 00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:21,050 - and I can join you for dinner this evening. - Excellent. 382 00:19:21,330 --> 00:19:23,160 Do we really want her there? 383 00:19:24,780 --> 00:19:26,280 - We'll see you at eight. - Great. 384 00:19:26,980 --> 00:19:30,520 - Goodbye, Prime Minister. - Yeah! Goodbye! 385 00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:39,530 - Where were we? - Um...oh, yes. 386 00:19:39,890 --> 00:19:43,160 - Prime Minister, please. - Oh, my God, you're gorgeous. 387 00:19:43,360 --> 00:19:45,110 - I want you inside me right now. - Woah, woah. 388 00:19:47,650 --> 00:19:53,840 You know, maybe we should resume our talks about the Middle-East tomorrow. 389 00:19:54,180 --> 00:19:56,400 Yes, of course, Mr President. 390 00:19:59,450 --> 00:20:00,570 Thank you for your time. 391 00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:02,410 Ooh, don't! I'm ticklish! 392 00:20:04,090 --> 00:20:05,980 Oh, God! 393 00:20:06,660 --> 00:20:07,940 Prime Minister. 394 00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:11,780 Oh, Mr President. You could do some damage with that. 395 00:20:12,310 --> 00:20:13,591 Please. 396 00:20:13,591 --> 00:20:16,380 That's what I call a weapon of mass destruction. 397 00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:24,130 If you like your home, your clothes and all your personal effects to smell of dog, 398 00:20:24,310 --> 00:20:25,950 why not get a dog? 399 00:20:26,390 --> 00:20:29,780 Phyllis Church is a typical American dog-owner. 400 00:20:30,110 --> 00:20:33,130 Have you finished your business yet, Mr Doggie? 401 00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:36,610 Oh, yes, Mama, that was a big dinner you gave me last night. 402 00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:41,140 - Oh! Did you enjoy it? - It was delicious. 403 00:20:41,310 --> 00:20:44,930 the world, having a Mama like you. 404 00:20:45,090 --> 00:20:47,180 Oh, thank you! 405 00:20:47,350 --> 00:20:49,540 Well, we'd better clean this up. 406 00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:51,390 I wanna see you poop. 407 00:20:52,420 --> 00:20:53,790 I'm sorry? 408 00:20:54,020 --> 00:20:55,500 I wanna see you poop. 409 00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:58,060 You always see me poop, I wanna see you poop! 410 00:20:58,530 --> 00:21:01,020 Well, um...no, I... 411 00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:02,910 I can't do that. 412 00:21:02,990 --> 00:21:06,360 Sure you can! You can poop for me, it'd be cool. 413 00:21:06,620 --> 00:21:09,390 No...now, come on, Mr Doggie, 414 00:21:09,610 --> 00:21:12,840 let me take you to the pet store and buy you a nice ball. 415 00:21:13,020 --> 00:21:14,540 - Poop! - No. 416 00:21:14,700 --> 00:21:15,710 Poop for me! 417 00:21:15,810 --> 00:21:17,500 I said no! 418 00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:19,960 If you loved me, you'd do it. 419 00:21:23,070 --> 00:21:26,060 I don't think I can poop right now. 420 00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:29,800 Sure you can, you've been farting like a trouper all afternoon! 421 00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:33,692 Well, um...maybe a little one. 422 00:21:33,692 --> 00:21:35,830 Do it, God damn it! 423 00:21:51,270 --> 00:21:52,610 It's not easy! 424 00:21:52,910 --> 00:21:54,960 Just relax. 425 00:21:59,940 --> 00:22:01,470 That's disgusting! 426 00:22:01,580 --> 00:22:03,450 You should be ashamed of yourself! 427 00:22:03,490 --> 00:22:05,720 Oh! I can explain! 428 00:22:05,890 --> 00:22:08,670 You are one crazy bitch! 429 00:22:08,930 --> 00:22:09,810 Oh! 430 00:22:17,590 --> 00:22:22,420 socialite Bubbles De vere is one of most beautiful women in Britain 431 00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:26,980 having fled her creditors for a luxury cruise to Rio 432 00:22:27,210 --> 00:22:30,800 well,here we go.my last lucky???? 433 00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:33,950 on three please darling 434 00:22:34,290 --> 00:22:35,910 no more bets 435 00:22:36,780 --> 00:22:38,800 no.12,no winner 436 00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:43,250 actually i meant put mine on 12. can i have it back please, darling 437 00:22:43,310 --> 00:22:45,290 - sorry madam,that's you bet - yes 438 00:22:47,540 --> 00:22:50,229 i'm putting my earwing on 21 439 00:22:50,230 --> 00:22:52,320 - your earing madom? - yes,darling.they're cartier 440 00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:54,960 they're diamonds.diamonds 441 00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:58,890 daddy likes diamons.yes,sing this song,yes 442 00:22:59,130 --> 00:23:01,820 - go 21! - no more bets 443 00:23:02,030 --> 00:23:04,060 no.29 no winners 444 00:23:04,310 --> 00:23:06,536 do it again,do it again 445 00:23:06,536 --> 00:23:08,201 does anyone mind me do that again 446 00:23:08,201 --> 00:23:09,020 i'm sorry madom 447 00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:11,040 place you bets 448 00:23:13,490 --> 00:23:15,120 place you bets 449 00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:18,000 mrs.De Vere 450 00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:19,340 it's grada 451 00:23:19,580 --> 00:23:21,170 it's ???? 452 00:23:21,390 --> 00:23:24,530 and my shoes,my lucky shoes,on No.5 453 00:23:24,530 --> 00:23:27,100 i've been married 5 times,isn't it lucky? 454 00:23:27,100 --> 00:23:29,250 - no more bets i'm very lucky,darling 455 00:23:29,250 --> 00:23:32,370 CHAMPAGNE,CHAMPAGNE FOR EVERY ONE 456 00:23:33,530 --> 00:23:35,840 40,no winners 457 00:23:36,070 --> 00:23:38,870 water,water for every one 458 00:23:39,110 --> 00:23:41,570 ????my??? every one 459 00:23:42,710 --> 00:23:45,270 - do you mind? - place you bets 460 00:23:45,270 --> 00:23:46,550 place you bets 461 00:23:46,750 --> 00:23:48,110 give you 462 00:23:50,590 --> 00:23:52,840 madom,we can not accept pantys 463 00:23:53,120 --> 00:23:55,310 why not darling,they're Crasting 464 00:23:55,550 --> 00:23:57,920 - Crasting? - ???? darling 465 00:23:58,130 --> 00:24:01,300 they're gift from my dear Arab friend 466 00:24:01,300 --> 00:24:04,430 - i really don't think - ok,darling.then take this as well 467 00:24:06,340 --> 00:24:08,390 now for god's sake.let's play 468 00:24:08,590 --> 00:24:10,150 no more bets 469 00:24:11,110 --> 00:24:13,240 No.1,no winners 470 00:24:16,460 --> 00:24:20,550 well,i think it's very import to know when to stop 471 00:24:21,490 --> 00:24:22,930 good night,darling 472 00:24:23,120 --> 00:24:27,190 and so we have met the people of Britain and America 473 00:24:27,190 --> 00:24:29,270 why don't you take a photo of???? 474 00:24:29,270 --> 00:24:30,870 have now see the America 475 00:24:30,870 --> 00:24:33,120 i do fell it's a long way to go 476 00:24:33,120 --> 00:24:35,780 if you want to be treated as a Britain as equal 477 00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:40,750 presently, we regard you as a fanny little country with illution of granda 478 00:24:40,950 --> 00:24:43,370 in fact,i hate to be the one who say it 479 00:24:43,670 --> 00:24:46,010 but a lot of people haven't even heard of you 480 00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:47,430 goodbye 481 00:24:50,931 --> 00:24:59,168 -==www.RagBear.com==- Welcome joining us 482 00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:02,000 www.tvsubtitles.net 35385

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