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1
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I've heard telling an urban legend.
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But a crystal clear night somewhat like this one, a father,
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pulled his son aside, and spoke three mysterious words.
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Good job, boy.
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I know, I know. Like it could happen.
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Dad, I think I invented an engine that runs on water.
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Can you fly? No. Well, go up on the roof and work on that.
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My dad gave me compliments. Well, not real compliments, more like sentences that don't make you cry.
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Your little boy is cute.
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You want to go make one just like him?
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You're not totally useless. As in while I'm gone, work the waitress.
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Some call it negativity. Some call it soul-killing self-esteem crushing criticism. I call it the force that is driven me to succeed.
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My dad rips into everything I do. And because of that, I'm way more successful than he ever thought I couldn't be.
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Yeah, that's what I meant to say.
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What the hell did you do to my truck?
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Come on, Mr. Titus, be nice. It's got 20 inch fusible at wheels, custom paint, shift kit to force suspension, drop ported heads.
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Oh, man, if you don't think this is the most bitch in his double throw down street truck, you've ever seen you get kiss my ass.
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I am so sorry. It's okay, Tommy, Dad. This is the best work I've ever done. I'm really proud of it. Come on. I love it. And it's great. Okay, you're not even trying to some of get him a beer right now. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What's my middle name? How's the house you know? It's Dad all right.
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Okay, Dad, what exactly do you love about the truck? Well, the wheels, the grill, paint. Good job, boy. I don't know what your game is, old man, but this truck sucks and you know it.
20
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Come on, Dad, let it go, let it out. I blew it. I'm a loser. The paint job is terrible. Everything I did is this truck blow. Let's go. You're being too hard on yourself, son.
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Son. Too hard on yourself. Being.
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If you guys were just shut up, you're coming. But what I'm trying to say is that all this busting your hump really paid off? What? I am really proud of you. Are you dying? Last night, Kat's daughters came over. And guess what? They get along. But they like each other. Why can't we have that? I know. I know. You're good, Dad. But this truck, who's the friend from the street truck,
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I don't know for ready for... like.
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Well, I can't feel my feet.
25
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What?
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Poor circulation because of my heart attacks.
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I didn't cause you damn heart attacks.
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I know it was the 40 years of smoking and drinking.
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Yeah, and you better start taking responsibility for that.
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Like you just did.
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Are you wearing a wire?
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No.
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No. Look, can I just tell my son that I'm proud of him and I love him? No!
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Guess I can! Now hug me! All right!
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I will trust goodness. In my family goodness, it's just badness before it's had something to drink.
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What's book and white and red all over? Not a mess, sweetheart.
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Mommy's got to watch her stories.
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Mom, you need another drink?
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No, I used this time.
40
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Hey, let's dance!
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Guys, you've been doing this all day long. Your dad is not coming back.
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Yes, he is. He's going to drop a bomb and I'll be ready for it.
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Dad, it's just going to get so reamed. I know.
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It's probably flipping you to her right now. He's going to pull into the alley.
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Right?
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Now. Now. Now, now. Now, now. Now, now. Now, now. Now, now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. The็ฎ! What is going on? Dad fed a new way to screw with me so he was proud of me. Well, it's about time he said that. So you're great at what you do? He got to her.
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But if she likes me, all right.
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Right.
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And then Dad is up to something.
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He's telling you your failure is driven you to success.
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Now he's telling you your success.
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So, I fail.
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What?
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That's his evil little plan.
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Now that Ron was a little mind game,
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I'm very disheartened.
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Man, just to prove to him,
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I'm not a successful go out of my own success.
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Eat on my own terms.
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You're my mentor, I'm so proud of you. Wait, wait. I'm not proud of you.
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What's our Christy? Christopher, why can't you learn to trust when good things happen?
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Because nothing good ever happens in my life. You? Oh, except you, honey. You're the only good thing in my life. You, what? Nothing.
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Your father probably meant what he said. He's getting older for heart attacks five women and whatever Kathy is. Your father realizes that he has a son and he loves him. Really?
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One of where that son lives.
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My dad is a fountain of love, but a city fountain. You know, one of those ones that's leaky in the waters all rusty.
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And there's that weird metal thing that kind of sticks up and nobody knows what the hell it really is.
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That's the kind of fountain of love my dad is. Yeah, I got it. My dream is to build custom hot rods, maybe even race them. That's a coincidence. My dream is for you to race out and get me a custom sex pack. Maybe even drink it. And go! Maybe you just don't know them as well as I do. Well, maybe he's finally making up for robbing you over time. Maybe I'm going to wake up tomorrow in Tokyo and look at big men.
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They've big men's in London. Exactly. It's impossible like the pyramids in Egypt.
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Dave, the pyramids are in Egypt. Oh, tight is.
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Christopher, your father has done a lot of bad things, but I am sure that you can think of one good thing.
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No. You're not trying. My dad did fatherly things. He took his camping in Vegas.
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All right, boys. Remember, this is the desert. It's like 110 out here. So when the shade goes, crawl into the car.
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The parking attendant comes by, Duke of five spot. Give daddy a hug for luck.
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You can't think of one nice thing he's ever done. Oh. No, family counseling. Wait. No, burn unit.
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How does she know how people repressed bad memories? Maybe you repressed good ones. Oh, oh, maybe your dad's always bad in the perfect father.
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In California, I leaned Franklin, had her 51-year-old father arrested because she thought she would remember he killed her best friend when they were eight.
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Maybe in the dark recesses of my mind. My dad baked me fresh-tool house cookies and bought me a pony.
78
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Okay, okay, let's just say dad is actually proud of me. How good honey? Baby steps, okay. This is a
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for instance between two slices of wood if with a huge side of, yeah, right.
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If I may, the only difference between the relationship that you have with your father and the relationship that I have with my father is that there's less punching and there's more poking. You have to choose to fall.
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All right, I'll try it. Yeah. No, poke it. Welcome to a little town called normal population you.
82
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Hey guys, it's truck is on TV. Come on. This is Chip Talk, a socky live on the spy for Channel 6 news.
83
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Check it out. Check it out. If you're out on the road today, do yourself a favor. Don't drink and drive.
84
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You might just end up like this man.
85
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That's dead. All right, hi, hi.
86
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Someone's watching three percent of the recent drug drive that has been out since I got a little high class, including three feet tall.
87
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With the expected crush of holiday growth.
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Oh, my gosh.
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Oh, my gosh.
90
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He's not allowed to drop out.
91
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Honey? No. Oh, what planet are you from?
92
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Yeah, yeah. What planet boring population use?
93
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Oh, yeah.
94
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How many what your dad has done in the past? At least now, when his later years, he just
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has a little bit of dignity. He's fell out of the truck. When he said, good job. How did you feel? Paranoid. And then good. You are this close to getting a relationship. You always wanted with your father. Good job, boy. You feel pretty great. This is Chip Talk, a socky live on the spot and remember on the sobriety test, you're supposed to touch your own notes.
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Chief, you're giving up the chance of ever having a normal relationship with your father.
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Touch your own notes.
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Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.
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Are you sure, Dad, didn't come home last night? I sleep in my car in his driveway, and Kathy came on the porch of five minutes
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while his wailing his name. Good. Good. You must've spent the night jail. Yeah. We should go down there and then time to him. Yeah. We go, hey, Dad, he's been the night jail.
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Oh, no. Don't be. Just hang on. This is Chip Talk, a socky live on the spot for Channel 6 news. You taped it. No, Dad's got his own show.
102
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Sorry. I'm cranky because I didn't get enough sleep last night because I'm...
103
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Yeah. That worked out.
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Oh, you, Dad.
105
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Wow. This is where you guys beat me to work.
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Shame on you, tight. As you said, you were going to live your life like this, and he taped it.
107
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Hey, hey, hey, hey.
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Cranky? Well, I'm not letting you go back.
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I'm cranky.
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Well, I'm bright. I'm getting cranky here. Hey, give me that. I win.
111
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With Damod Aaron has a point. You got to make this right with Dad.
112
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Once more, Step Portitis went to my friend
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One giant leap for fathers and sons.
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I'm holding hot coffee.
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Is that all right?
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Now remember, be gentle when you discuss the incident.
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Right.
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Hey, Dad.
119
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How many ores can we have to die before you quit drinking?
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No, no.
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LAUGHTER
122
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Hey, Dad.
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How many ores do you have to, y'all?
124
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You okay?
125
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LAUGHTER
126
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Dad, we saw you on TV.
127
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Yeah, Chip Taka's hockey live on the spot. What's up Hollywood?
128
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LAUGHTER Are you okay?
129
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Dave, Dad. I want you to know that we got your back.
130
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Yeah, I'll get Chip Taka's hockey to very this story.
131
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He's one of my wrestling buddies.
132
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I'm the high school wrestling team.
133
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LAUGHTER
134
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Come on, Chip. Come on, Chip.
135
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LAUGHTER Dad, you were there for me, and I'm going to beat her for you. Give me hug. Hug?
136
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You ruined my night, you dumbass fruit of my loins.
137
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I can't talk to you, Chip. Oh, Dad. I know Jay was tough, and I know there's a lot of bad people there.
138
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And you smell like that you slept on them, but that's okay.
139
00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:13,780
Fruity, fricky pickup, you built me. Well, it got me arrested.
140
00:15:14,700 --> 00:15:18,120
What, Mr. Titus, calm down? Shut up. I'm talking to my moron.
141
00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:23,220
Moron? Shut up. I'm...
142
00:15:23,220 --> 00:15:24,380
LAUGHTER
143
00:15:24,380 --> 00:15:29,180
You got arrested for drunk driving, and it's my fault?
144
00:15:29,300 --> 00:15:34,500
You built me a cop magnet. I might as well be a black guy driving a large powder donut.
145
00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:36,960
LAUGHTER
146
00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:42,940
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What happened to Good Job boy? I never said that.
147
00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:48,580
You never said Good Job, Bush. Are you crazy?
148
00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:52,660
LAUGHTER
149
00:15:53,580 --> 00:15:55,560
LAUGHTER
150
00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:05,000
LAUGHTER
151
00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:21,740
Dad, is there any chance that you were arrested for drunk driving?
152
00:16:22,140 --> 00:16:27,300
Because, oh, you were driving drunk? Hey, I have been driving drunk since I was 14.
153
00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:58,140
You were arrested. You were drunk at a checkpoint, a point at which they checked. No, no, no, no. If I wasn't in this clown car, they would have just waved me through. It's not a wave point. It's a check point. They stop you. They check you. They check you. You couldn't even touch your head. Right, Tommy? I'm so sleepy. LAUGHTER Now, I want you to send this ridiculous paint job off my truck and put primer on it. Hopstone stopped from driving.
154
00:16:58,900 --> 00:17:28,120
No, unless those trucks are weaving at 60 miles an hour through a checkpoint. They dropped the sanders. You know, something? All I ever wanted was a normal relationship. But you screwed that up. The first change you got. Me? Well, waste. A waste you were wasting? You were in jail, and I didn't have to chance to bribe a guard as strip search engine. She'd do it in a fire hose. Yes, the next time you want to tell me I did a good job. Don't. Don't. KILL!
155
00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:29,920
There it is! Right there!
156
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KILL! KILL!
157
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Hey, love job. What's new?
158
00:17:40,620 --> 00:17:44,020
What's new? I've been worried sick for where you last night.
159
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She doesn't know where he was. I can hear.
160
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Well, I'm waiting. Yeah, Dad. She's waiting. I can hear.
161
00:17:53,860 --> 00:17:57,360
You know, honey bunch, I should have called, but you know how it is.
162
00:17:57,920 --> 00:17:59,480
No, how is it?
163
00:17:59,920 --> 00:18:00,900
How is it, Dad?
164
00:18:01,660 --> 00:18:04,120
I know you were not drinking because of your heart.
165
00:18:04,260 --> 00:18:06,020
Yeah, you were drinking because of the heart.
166
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And you swore on our love. You'd stay sober.
167
00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:15,560
Well, I, you know, the guys were...
168
00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:18,180
Oh, for God's sake, just go ahead and tell her.
169
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:52,820
Where was my father last night? Last night. He was locked up. Right here. In the garage. All night.
170
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Worked like a beaver he did. Like a beaver.
171
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Because he loves his truck, right, Dad? Like a beaver.
172
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Don't get the hell much you love the truck. This truck? Yeah. I love it.
173
00:19:13,100 --> 00:19:16,940
A compliment given freely. I was like finding a penny on the sidewalk.
174
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A compliment extorted from my father. It's like stealing a penny. I'm that annoying blind kid.
175
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You might feel good. You want anybody to know. Come on, let's go. Wait, Kathy. There's more. Tommy, come out here. Dad, I want you to tell Tommy, Dave, Kathy, and me, the fruit of your loins.
176
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:52,400
What you love about the truck? Well, why is it the paint job that you love? Yeah, paint job. Or is it that tipsy feeling you get when you drive it?
177
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Oh, over the heads that turn as you Korean buy. Yeah. Which? Now. Oh. So I'm a great son and you're really proud of me. Say it.
178
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You're a great son and I'm really proud of you. And you can never take that back. Deal. Oh, thank you, father. Hug.
179
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Oh, I remember. And thank you, Kathy, for bringing me and my dad together. You're welcome Christopher. Thanks for all your help last night too, boy, you worked hard. You need a shower. Good job, boys. Thanks. You too. Where are you?
180
00:21:01,280 --> 00:21:01,760
Sheu laces.
181
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I've heard tell him an urban legend.
182
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A son, let his father off the hook when he could have fried him in front of his lady
183
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friend would have been true too, had the son not also gunned the high school with chip
184
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taco sake.
185
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Then remember, on the sobriety test, you're supposed to touch your own nose.
186
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They killed me!
187
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Oh, I cannot wait till it was so 27. When the legend continues.
188
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That was me.
189
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I'm the funny one.
19766
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