Original subtitles

♪

Philip doesn't mind you making a little money on the side.

He'd just prefer it if it wasn't selling exam questions.

♪

If Philip was so sure I was bent,

he'd have sent a prefect.

Benefits of being netball coach.

I'd know if anyone had been promoted.

Shame.

We barely got to know each other.

(squeak)

(shuffling)

I know where you keep your inhaler.

Stop!

What is it, what's wrong?

No, I've changed my mind, this spy stuff's boring.

-How can you say that? -Come on, half of the programs

on TV are about spies.

They're so childish!

We can't just abandon it now.

The Christmas party is in one week,

and we promised everybody a film!

Think about it, it's Christmas!

What does everybody really want at Christmastime?

A pashmina?

Better than that, a musical.

Put the word out, we start auditions at noon.

♪

♪ Sha-la-la-la ♪

♪

Ugh.

Ohh...

You all right?

-No. -Oh, dear.

It's just so hard, you know, I mean, goddammit,

-I was in love with her, Tim. -Hmm.

You're not gonna cry again, are you?

No.

'Cause I can get Karen.

Karen!

No, it's okay, I'm all cried out.

This is happening, okay.

-You close enough? -I've been thinking about it,

though, and it just doesn't add up.

-What doesn't? -We were doing great,

getting along really well, communicating, sharing,

-the sex was awesome. -Moving on.

Thinking back, I kept getting this nagging...

♪

Oh, forget about it.

-What? -I don't even wanna think it.

-Think what? -Tim.

I think she's in love with someone else.

-No. -I'm serious.

Have any idea who that could be?

That's what I wanted to ask you.

Me, what do you want to ask me for?

I haven't done any-- I'm not--she and I

haven't done anything, I mean,

-Hey, relax. -I can tell--

-I know it's not you. -Oh.

I mean, I think we can both agree

she's a little out of your league.

What's so ridiculous about Caitlin and I being lovers?

(hoarse laughter)

♪

Thanks, man, I appreciate you trying to cheer me up.

-I've got Moritz. -Moritz?

I'm better-looking than him.

-Mm-hmm. -Why not, eh, come on.

I mean, Gunther maybe, but Moritz?

It's someone around here, I can feel it.

-Listen-- -When I find out who it is,

I'm gonna rip his face off his shoulders with kitchen tongs,

and, I don't know, something sharp.

Sorry, man, you were saying?

So Moritz, you think?

(background chatter)

You sure about this?

A musical tackles the timeless themes.

Love, greed, jealousy, betrayal,

revenge, pain, hurt, pain--

-Missing Justine? -Not so much, why?

-No reason. -Well, that's aside.

It is, of course, Christmas, and I have a little something

to thank you for your hard work this term.

Oh, thanks, Marcus.

Thank you.

You've earned it.

Wow.

You've written off the three pounds I owed you.

"A donation has been made to a charity in your name."

How generous of me.

Well, enough with the festivities.

Where are we on these auditions?

♪

Thank you for seeing us at short notice.

I don't usually work weekends.

It's Wednesday.

Is it?

So there must still be patients out there.

Anyway, as you know, we're very grateful

for everything you've done so far--

Yes, when are you going to make a decision?

-Philip. -I'm sorry, Owen,

but you've been assessing this family

for months now, and I just feel Judith and I

can't move on until this custody dispute is resolved!

-Do you feel the same way? -It's all I can think about.

The uncertainty is tearing us apart!

Then you're right, we must bring this matter to an end.

Thank you.

Suppose I were to offer you custody of Marcus.

For one night with Judith.

I'd assume you were kidding.

I'm not kidding, think about it.

The night would come and go, but custody of Marcus

is something you could both enjoy...

...the rest of your lives.

I'm sorry, are we seriously doing Indecent Proposal?

-Ah, you've seen it. -Yes, of course we have,

everyone has!

You're a joke.

-Come on, Philip. -I'm not playing around, Judith.

One night with me, you get custody of Marcus

-for the rest of your life. -And if I don't?

Well, I'm sure Tim could be persuaded

to give you some visiting hours,

perhaps every few months?

Think about it.

(balls clinking)

Oh, it's supposed to go in.

Annoying.

(background chatter)

Have you sold any tickets yet?

Quite a few.

You are telling people it's a musical, aren't you?

Yeah.

-Oh, keep me updated. -Will do.

You haven't sold any tickets, have you?

Nah.

Gin.

I thought we were playing poker?

-And what's your name? -Sadie.

-And how old are you, Sadie? -Ten.

What are you going to be singing for us today?

I'm going to sing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow."

Off you go.

♪ Sometimes I wish upon a star ♪

♪ And wake up where the clouds are far ♪

♪ Behind me ♪

♪ What troubles melts like lemon drops ♪

♪ Away ♪

Can I stop you there, please?

Is there a problem?

What, have I done something to offend you?

What do you mean?

Well, you're clearly trying to punish me,

and I'm not sure why.

Was it no good?

Sadie, there are prisoners in Guantanamo

being water-boarded that sound better than you.

I can sing another song if you'd like.

Next.

What's the matter with you today?

-Just telling her the truth. -She didn't deserve that!

I don't remember asking for your views.

-We're just saying-- -Well, don't.

This is my show.

♪

Go get the next one!

♪

They're doing their best, you know.

Try being a little nicer.

♪

-Who's next? -No one.

What are you talking about, I've got a full list here.

No one's going to audition for you,

they've gone on strike.

What are we going to do?

This is your show, I'm sure you'll figure something out.

-Come on, Paul. -Daniel!

Paul!

-Would you like some tea? -No thank you, darling.

Sorry about this.

It shouldn't take long.

Don't worry about me, I'm perfectly happy.

-Love you. -Love you more.

♪

-We can't! -I know!

Who does he think he is?

Who would ever agree to something like that?

It's not worth giving it another second thought.

It's forgotten.

-What is? -I don't know.

(laughs)

-Although-- -Yes?

Well, no, it's just, it would be great

for Marcus to come and live with you again.

-It's true. -And in time,

maybe you and I could even get married and be a proper family.

Maybe.

Anyway, it's forgotten.

♪

Philip?

I think you want me to do it.

♪

-Do you want to do it? -No.

But I would.

(engine revving)

But I can sing.

I can, can I do it, please?

Of course, after all, what could be less humiliating

than my father performing in my musical?

But I'm good, tell him!

-He's really good. -Is he?

-No idea. -Shut up!

Will you think about it?

(tapping sound)

-You miss Justine? -Not really.

Not you.

I thought you and Philip were going to roller disco.

They had to cancel.

(knock)

You've made a wise decision.

Come in.

And before you ask, yes, Mom's already gone to bed.

♪

You've sold every single ticket?

Plus an extra 30.

Hmm, I'm impressed.

Yeah, it was nothing.

They must have been big fans of musical theater.

Tinie Tempah?

It's a private gig, one night only.

-So how much? -40 pounds each.

Yeah, we're on.

Do you know, I really think they were.

That's me, good work, Chris.

Yeah, cheers.

♪

Have a good day.

♪

I've got you a little present.

Oh!

Beautiful.

How can you afford all this?

I do steal quite a lot from my mom and my patients.

(laughs)

Hello, Judith.

Oh, Philip, I didn't see you there.

Hey, Phil!

How've you been?

Yes, okay.

Good.

Good.

You?

I've been living in a bottomless pit of torment and despair,

torn apart by the howling nightmares

with only my screams to keep me company.

Yeah, I've had neighbors like that.

Owen.

I'm going to the shop.

Anybody want anything?

No thanks.

-Phil? -Drop dead.

I'll get you celery.

How could you do this to me?

Don't put it all on me!

You sent me in there!

You should never have let me go.

Yeah, you're right.

And I will regret it for the rest of my life.

No, Philip.

Want this?

-I'm gonna tell him. -No!

It's not fair on him.

On him, did you hear what he said?

About the tongs in the face and the sharp things?

He didn't mean it.

Well, I'd rather not put it to the test.

Well, when do you suggest we tell him?

When our third child graduates college?

-Tim-- -Just leave it for now.

-What if he finds out? -He won't.

Trust me.

You've had a tough couple of weeks.

-The toughest. -I'm sorry.

You made a good-looking couple.

Thanks.

-You take any videos? -What?

What?

It's just hard seeing her every day.

I bet.

But I want you to know, Portis, that MI5

is still your home.

-I appreciate that. -It's not gonna be easy.

-No. -Particularly now

that she and Tim are a couple.

Caitlin and Tim

are a couple?

-No, are they? -I can't believe this!

-I didn't say that. -I trusted him.

-Yep, well what about me? -What about you?

Well, I was hoping to have a pop at Caitlin.

-What? -I know, I know.

But, what can you do?

She's been in love with Tim for years.

For years?

I really have to stop talking.

♪

You're not gonna do anything silly, are you?

Hey, bro, how's it going?

Yeah, I'm seeing things much clearer now.

Good for you.

♪

Meeting in the open, you learn fast.

You always said that any one of us could challenge you, Marcus.

That's because I figured no one would ever do it.

You figured wrong.

Can't seriously want Goldstein as your leader?

He's a team player, Marcus.

He listens to us.

And the people either want a Nativity or a talent show.

A musical will be so much better.

Nativity or talent show.

-Neither. -Pick.

I hate Nativity plays.

-Well then, talent show it is. -We're not doing a talent show.

I don't think you have that many options.

What are you gonna do, a one-man show?

(giggles)

One man, of course!

♪

Philip.

Marcus.

Are you living here?

It's just while I find my feet.

-You look terrible. -No, I'm fine!

Listen.

I need to ask you a favor.

Why don't you ask your new dad?

Owen?

Is that what this is about?

He stole her from me!

-Then steal her back! -It's too late.

Too late?

Is that what Norman Schwarzkopf

would have said?

Is he going out with Judith as well?

No.

Look, I'll help you get her back.

-Really? -Yes.

But first, I need you to sing in the musical.

Me, I can't sing.

Dance, obviously, but sing, no.

Hey, you know who you should ask?

I'm not asking Tim.

You're sure you're not letting pride get the better of you?

I'll figure something out.

Oh, okay, yeah, bye.

-Where you going? -That was Philip.

Marcus wants me to sing in his musical.

-His school musical? -I know!

-I'll see you later. -Okay.

♪

Hi.

I was just, um, wondering if you've seen Portis.

Uh, not for a bit, why?

No, no reason.

Is everything all right?

Yeah, yeah.

I'm not paying that.

I don't care about his UK tour.

He is not a major recording artist.

I got to go, you know the terms, call me back.

What do you want?

Philip says you want me to sing in your musical.

Just hear him out.

How many times do I have to say this?

You are not performing in my show,

and there's nothing you can do to change my mind.

(beep)

♪ Che più cercando io vo? ♪

♪ Che più cercando io vo? ♪

♪ M'ama! ♪

♪ Sì, m'ama, lo vedo ♪

♪ Lo vedo ♪

(applause)

Stop it, no, stop it, stop it, really, okay.

Thank you, grazie, grazie mille, thank you.

Yep, we've got a deal.

We've got Duncan from Blue.

♪

-Still no sign? -No, sir.

-Okay, what is going on? -It's nothing.

-Sir-- -No, no, okay, okay,

there is a chance that Portis knows about you and Tim.

-What, how? -I told him.

-Oh, come on. -I'm sorry, it was a mistake.

How did he take it?

Yeah, yeah, pretty well, actually.

-Really? -No, he looked psychotic.

Oh, where is he?

We don't know.

(locker slams open)

Oh dear.

♪

(engine revving)

♪

-You could help. -I'm good, thanks.

(phone ringing)

Oh get that, would ya?

Come on, come on, pick up.

♪

Oh.

(tires screech)

Um, could we slow down a little?

I've forgotten how much I love driving.

I really should get my license.

♪

No, I can't provide Duncan with alcohol.

Because I'm ten years old and it would be illegal

for you to ask me to procure alcohol.

That includes vodka.

And gin, yes.

(phone ringing)

♪

Hello?

Oh, thank God, is Marcus with you?

Portis is after him.

Hello?

(cracking static)

Hello, you have to speak up, I can't hear you.

Portis is coming for Marcus!

What about Portis?

Has anyone seen Marcus?

♪

(tires screeching)

Marcus!

♪

Marcus!

Marcus!

♪

I can't find Marcus.

Oliver, have you seen Marcus?

Marcus.

(phone beeping)

♪

Okay.

Yep.

How long?

Be operational in three minutes.

Okay.

-Where is he? -We don't know yet.

How could you let this happen?

I didn't do anything.

Just wait here and I'll see what they're doing.

No, they don't need you getting in the way.

They're professionals, Tim, let them do their job.

Fine.

I'll just see if they want some coffee or something.

I wouldn't mind a latte, if you could.

Or not, no pressure.

Don't worry, they'll find him, I promise.

(clears throat)

Yes, right.

-Anything? -No, not yet.

-Well, work harder! -We're doing our best, Tim.

He could be anywhere.

(train rushing)

(birds flapping)

So unoriginal.

What are you talking about?

I take it this is your first kidnapping.

Why do you say that?

An abandoned warehouse, seriously?

It'll be hard to find.

Perhaps, but it does rather lack imagination, wouldn't you say?

No.

But I bet you've been hearing that your entire life.

Portis tries hard, but rarely excels.

Solid, but shows little flair.

-Shut up. -Makes up in brawn

-what he lacks in brains. -Shut up!

Touched a nerve?

Man, Tim wasn't fooling.

You really are a horrible kid.

He said that?

Only like every day, no wonder he hates you.

No, he doesn't.

(laughs)

Now who's hit a nerve?

If he hates me so much, then why is he fighting for custody?

Beats me.

Probably because he's pathetic and weak.

Just another lanky, British,

"Excuse me, pardon me,

I'm some bumbling but charming Hugh Grant" douchebag.

You're jealous of him, aren't you?

Don't make me laugh.

Yes, you are.

I can see it.

What are you doing?

He's done something, hasn't he?

Something to hurt you.

-Something personal. -No.

What did he do?

Nothing.

Portis.

It's not your fault.

What?

It's not your fault.

-I know. -No.

It's not your fault.

Don't mess with me, man.

It's not your fault.

He stole her from me.

It's okay.

Let it all out.

(sobbing)

I loved her and he took her away!

-It's okay. -No, it's not okay!

He took something away from me, and now I'm gonna take

something away from him!

Now, sit down!

Actually, I'm starting to think maybe it was your fault.

Yo.

We in the right place, yeah?

This is Tinie's thing?

This is ridiculous.

We need a cellular signal before we can triangulate.

We're just sitting here!

Why don't I go to my house, see if he's been back there.

Good idea.

I'll call you the moment I find anything, I promise.

Okay.

Can we have a quick word?

-Just send them home. -But look at them!

I don't have time for this, okay?

Just give them the money back, it'll be fine.

Yeah, about that.

I haven't exactly got the money available right now.

-What is wrong with you? -I've got the money,

it's just a little tied up at the moment.

-Always thinking of yourself. -That's not true!

Sorry, but can we get back to the more pressing issue?

What if someone went out there and stalled for a bit?

Do whatever you'd like.

What sort of brash idiot would agree to go out there?

Hello, hello, St. Benjamin's, are we having fun?

-No? -Who are you?

Oh, a heckler already, what's your name, fella?

-Arthur. -Arthur, where are

-ya from, Arthur? -Canterbury.

I haven't got anything funny about Canterbury.

Um, I've got a good one about Leeds.

Although, thinking about it, it is borderline racist.

Hey, what's with that Eurozone?

Surely, we wouldn't be governed by the Germans,

just ask the Queen!

Because she's of German ancestry.

Is this a state school?

'Cause that joke absolutely kills at Harrow.

-We want Tinie! -Oh, I'm sorry

if my political satire is too challenging for you.

Get off the stage!

Who here agrees with our friend?

That's actually a lot more than I was expecting.

-What about there? -Nothing.

(phone rings)

Hey, bro.

What are you doing, Portis?

Oh, you know, just a little payback.

Marcus has nothing to do with this.

He does now.

Portis.

-Uh, yes, sir? -Hi.

Listen to me, you spineless little twerp--

-No. -Listen.

I knew you were no good the first minute

I set eyes on you.

Why is everyone being so mean to me today?

Oh, come on, you miserable coward.

What are your demands?

I want Tim to break up with Caitlin.

-Okay. -No deal.

What?

They're in love, get over it, I did.

-You did? -Not important right now.

Just tell him I'll do it.

Tim refuses to do it.

Well, if Tim isn't prepared to release Caitlin,

I'm not prepared to release the boy!

-Fine by me. -What?

-What did you say? -Keep the kid, he's horrible.

-What are you doing? -Trust me.

In that case, you'll never see Marcus again!

Listen, I have a particular set of skills.

Skills I have acquired over a very long career.

Skills that make me a nightmare, and--

Uh, he's gone.

Call him back!

Phone's gone dead.

Phone's dead.

(screaming)

Damn limey!

Well, that went well.

This is your fault!

Mm-hmm, I can see that.

I've got a fix.

-What? -We have his location.

-You stay here. -No, you stay here!

-I'm going to get my son. -Okay, well I'll come with you.

No!

You can't go alone!

He won't be alone.

-He'll be with me. -No, I won't.

-Oh, please? -No.

I'll behave.

-Do what you'd like. -Yes!

♪

-Do I get a gun? -No.

Really?

I was sort of counting on that.

How about a stitch?

Oh, what else, um...

...eh, does anyone here follow women's hockey?

Where's Marcus?

I don't know.

Something's wrong.

Hey, you bloody paid for this, you know!

-Will Portis be armed? -Of course he will.

♪

(engine revving)

I think we need to tell them.

They've started throwing bottles at him.

I can't afford to have people panicking right now.

If the press get hold of this,

then Portis may do something stupid

which would put Marcus in even greater danger.

What's going on?

Where's Marcus?

Who are all those people?

I think you deserve to know the truth.

We are in fact a group of traveling entertainers.

-What? -Marcus hired us.

Well, your man on stage is atrocious.

Which is why my next act is about to go on.

But I may need your help.

♪

(phone ringing)

-Hey. -Any news?

-We found him. -Where?

The old abandoned factory off Derby Road.

I'll be there in ten minutes.

Be careful, Tim.

♪

Hello, St. Benjamin's!

One, two, three, four!

♪

-Do you see him? -Yeah.

♪

I'll go in the front, you go around the back.

-Alone? -Yes, alone.

You're the one who wanted to come.

It's okay for you, you've got a gun!

-Just go. -All right, I'm going.

♪

♪ Give 'em the old hocus pocus ♪

♪ Bead and feather 'em ♪

♪ How can they see with sequins in their eyes ♪

♪

♪ What if your hinges are all rusting ♪

♪ What if in fact you're just disgusting ♪

♪ Razzle dazzle 'em ♪

♪ And they'll never catch wise ♪

♪

(gun clicks)

♪

Well, if it isn't my good buddy!

-You okay? -Yes.

We'll be out of here in no time.

Don't count on it.

Hey, wait a minute.

Did you come alone?

I didn't want to bother anyone,

for a little bit of house cleaning.

Ooh, trash talk, I like it.

♪

I have to hand it to you, Tim.

I don't know how you put up with him,

he is pure evil.

He can be challenging.

Challenging?

I've known Mossad interrogators easier to get along with.

Well, what can I say?

Those things don't matter when you love someone.

Like my love for Caitlin?

-She didn't love you. -She could have!

With time.

(heart beating faintly)

-I'm sorry. -You sure will be.

Hey, Marcus.

You know how me and your dad know each other?

You work in the civil service together?

Sort of.

Actually--

(whack)

(crash)

Did you see that?

Don't move.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

It's over now.

No, it isn't.

-What do you mean? -You're too late.

For what?

I'm sorry, Tim.

I'm sorry.

♪

Hello?

♪

(gun clicks)

Is there anybody there?

I am armed.

So am I.

That was truly inspirational, sir.

Yeah, yeah, hey, great show, everyone, great show.

(phone rings)

It's for you.

Probably Broadway.

Shoot.

-Where the hell have you been? -Yeah, good, thanks.

Not how, where?

-Who is this? -It's Chris.

Oh, you guys, how's it going over there?

We've got Portis.

Oh, damn.

I had money on him killing you all.

Would you just shut up?

Tim's on his way 'round to Caitlin's.

I think she's in trouble.

Pass him over.

Hello, what happened with the show?

Yeah, it's all in hand, in fact...

(chuckling)

...it's going pretty well.

We'll be back in 20 minutes, keep it going.

Give me a gun.

-Where are you going? -Caitlin's.

Ah, you going to shoot her?

No, it's just that Tim needs me.

But I need you!

Can't you tell, I've always needed you!

I love you, sir.

♪

-Got a bit weird, didn't it? -Yeah.

Yeah, sorry about that.

Uh, go on, go!

♪

♪ What's going on ♪

Enjoy humiliating him, did you?

Who?

Portis.

Sweet, gentle Portis.

The same sweet, gentle Portis

who just kidnapped a ten-year-old boy?

What did you expect?

You drove him out of his mind.

So it's my fault.

♪

You never took the time to understand him.

To be sensitive to what he'd endured in captivity.

He's a complex man with a beautiful soul.

And he has big biceps.

Sorry, is it your plan to bore me to death?

You always were too feisty for him.

Geez!

-What are you doing here? -Shh.

I couldn't abandon my superstar.

You wearing makeup?

A little.

♪

Marcus!

Oh my God, Marcus!

Yay!

-Are you all right? -I'm fine, thanks.

-Where's--where's Tim? -He's okay, I think.

Where were you, Marcus?

Yeah, we were worried.

Oh my God, this is so nauseating.

Do you know what, you all deserve each other.

I'm sorry, Judith.

You are one hot, bitter mama

but I just can't stand your child.

Nothing personal, Marcus, I hate all children.

Actually, it is a little personal,

I do dislike you more than any other child I've ever met.

Here you are.

Congratulations, Judith.

I'm recommending that you get sole custody of Marcus.

-What about Tim? -What about him?

Isn't this what you wanted?

I suppose.

Have a good life, or don't!

I'm really not bothered!

Oh, um, actually, can I just give you this,

it's a feedback form, if you've got time.

Okay, ciao.

♪

-How's the show going? -Not good,

the audience is getting restless.

I've got to help Paul and Daniel with their show.

And so what happens now?

We wait for Portis.

Oh.

What?

Bit awkward, but Portis has already been arrested.

That idiot!

Can't he do anything right?

I'm sure he did his best.

Well, his best is clearly not good enough.

You could be a little more supportive.

The amount of time I put in with him,

the movies, the dinners.

And still, he kept saying the same thing.

"I'm seeing Caitlin.

I'm too young for you.

How'd you get into my house?"

You know what?

You were right not to marry him.

He's a waste of space.

He's a decent man at heart,

and I'm sure he'll make someone a good husband one day.

When he's out of prison.

You're a good person.

Ah, you know, I wouldn't be too unhappy

if you untied me now.

Oh, right, no, I'm not going to do that.

-No? -No, I'm afraid

I'm still going to have to kill you.

-Oh. -Yeah, what with the evidence

of my involvement and everything, yeah.

-You understand? -Not really.

I try to do a neat job.

I'm loving this by the way.

Really works with your figure.

Thanks?

All right.

I suppose we better get this over with.

♪

Freeze!

I wanted to say that.

(clapping, stomping)

I thought you've got Duncan from Blue?

I did, I guess he's not coming.

Well, what are we gonna do?

(clapping, stomping continues)

Ladies and gentlemen,

I give you our headline act this evening.

That ain't no Tinie Tempah!

He is tiny, though.

(hip hop music)

♪

♪ So let me make my attack, here's the slack ♪

♪ There ain't no paper and plastics in your backpack ♪

♪ So let me hit you with a crack snack ♪

♪ Right in the face, no escape ♪

♪ You're too late, it's your fate ♪

♪ I'm gonna leave you... ♪

I'm really sorry I'm late.

Do you want me to go on now?

Get lost, Duncan.

♪ My rhyme is my reason ♪

♪ Please don't waste no time with child's play ♪

♪ If the facts in this rap are too wack ♪

♪ Let me hear you all yay, say ♪

♪ You've gotta be cruel, never fool ♪

♪ Don't know what it takes to rule this game ♪

♪ No time to explain ♪

♪ It's my brain, it's insane ♪

♪ Like a lyrical jewel ♪

♪ If you can't keep up with me

you should've stayed in even school ♪

♪ My time is now, I ain't got time for no absurdity ♪

♪ You'll never keep me out of Oxford University ♪

♪ You must be crazy not to think that I own this ♪

♪ I guess you guys are loco, in loco parentis ♪

(crowd cheering)

I also act.

♪

♪ Yeah, ain't no party like a Christmas party ♪

♪

♪ All the swots in the house say ♪

(crowd cheering "yeah")

♪ Say yeah ♪

(crowd cheering)

♪

-You took your time. -Yeah, sorry.

Couldn't find anywhere to park.

How have you been?

Good, yep, you?

Not too bad.

Okay.

So how do we resolve this?

Quite easy, actually.

You lower your weapons, and I walk out of here

-or she gets it. -I think I can make the shot.

-Forget it. -Should I try?

-No. -I think it's worth a go.

You categorically do not have my permission to shoot.

So typical of today's youth, no ambition.

I know, tell me about it.

So, what's it to be?

-How about this? -What are you doing?

-Game theory. -What?

If I shoot Caitlin, she has nothing to bargain with.

-That's clever, eh? -No!

-Well, why not? -Because we are trying

very hard not to make Caitlin dead!

-Thank you. -Oh, come on,

it's a good plan, I kill Caitlin,

and you kill her, and everybody's happy.

No, they're not!

-Point the gun away from her! -No.

Point the gun away from Caitlin!

No.

I'm warning you.

You shoot Caitlin, and I will shoot you.

Isn't someone supposed to be shooting me?

Keep out of this.

-Put the gun down, Tim. -No!

-Put the gun down! -No!

I think we may have lost focus on the objective here.

I've never been good enough for you, have I?

What?

Yeah, you do everything you can for them,

but it's never good enough.

-So true. -Mm-hmm.

-I'm not your son. -No.

But I love you like you are.

-Really? -Seriously,

we're doing this now?

I didn't know you felt that way.

Well, now you do.

I don't know what to say.

Come here, son.

♪

It's so lovely.

-Sorry. -It's okay, it's okay.

I'm the one who should say sorry.

Now.

(guns fire)

(sirens wailing)

Ow.

Ah, ow!

I'm really sorry.

-You shot me. -I know.

-Does it hurt? -Yes!

Hey, how's our little hero, huh?

Losing blood.

Yeah, sorry again about shooting you.

Are you still angry with me?

-Yes. -Oh--

-Ow! -Sorry.

All right.

Yeah, well, I'll catch up with you at the hospital.

Okay.

Tim.

-Yeah. -Why is he wearing makeup?

I don't know.

Okay, well, I'll get a ride in the police car.

No, would you stay with me?

Yeah, okay.

♪

No Owen, then?

What'd I say?

We didn't want to tell you while, you know,

Caitlin was in hospital.

But Owen has made his recommendation on custody.

♪

Well...

♪

Well, I suppose that was to be expected.

♪

You must be happy.

I'm sorry.

Eh, what are you sorry for, you get to live with her,

that's punishment enough.

Seriously, I'm sure you're all going to be very happy.

(thud in distance)

What is that?

I don't know, it's been going on all morning.

(thud)

Hi.

Hello?

Oh, right, yeah, I forgot to tell you,

-I bought the house. -You?

Yeah.

How can you afford that?

I don't want to go into detail,

but I've been stealing a lot of money this year.

That is true.

Anyway, the thing is, I am going to need someone

to help me with the mortgage.

Me?

Well, I figured these guys are gonna move

back into the family home, so what do you reckon?

♪

What do you reckon?

Fancy having me as your new neighbor?

Sounds like a recipe for disaster.

I couldn't agree more.

Tim, Tim!

You've got to help me!

I'm in big trouble!

♪