Original subtitles

I'm out low.

She's cold. She's cold like ice.

We know who you are.

You work for Joe Jeff Davis.

There ain't nothing you can do to keep on from putting him.

Fiddle!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Sheriff Jonathan Grayle was mad.

We'd get a bank in his town.

Marvin Pike.

Bea, Wolfson Lucas.

William Pike.

And Isaiah Eisman-Adams.

Known collectively as the Pike Gang.

Well, it once been partners in crime with the four of us.

But now, all bets were off.

The showdown was interrupted, however, by the almighty, who sent us all sailing into the 20th century.

And what a century it is.

But we weren't what you'd call the

whole world.

And we were all the same.

And we were all the same.

And we were all the same.

And what a century it is. But we weren't what you'd call ordinary men.

So we dug in, tried to adapt, and started a detection agency to put beams on the table.

And in the process, ran head-on into deputy Maggie Randall.

Things may be different this century, but there's plenty of work to be done

because one thing's bound to be true.

The bad arm brace will always outnumber the good.

How long?

Why don't you say this more about you when they've had enough?

Yeah, it would have been nice, Bill.

You do this, and I'll take care of the balloons.

That's the fourth one you've split asunder.

Split asunder, huh?

Is that Isaiah McAdams way of poking fun out of body?

No, William.

That's a biblical interpretation of hot air.

Which reminds me, how's that cake coming along, Wolfson?

That's about Maggie.

One of you or two?

One of you.

May I check you down?

That don't sound right.

M-A-G-G-I-E, two Gs.

One E.

Hello.

I'm Kim Wilson.

Uh, Rachel.

Oh, no, no, no, I got it.

Yeah, it was real funny.

Yeah.

Not the entire east side of town, you see.

Well, that sounds serious.

There's no doubt about that.

That party does seem to be getting smaller and smaller, yeah.

Well, you and your not the first one to call and say they couldn't make it.

We're just hoping that John will be able to get Maggie over here for you.

Will tell her.

Yeah, yeah.

How do you...

Well, here's the heavy Houston's gun, old electricity, and the roads are washed out.

A whole kit and caboodle.

Whoo!

Step right in the boys!

Otherwise, we might be ricocheted back to that last century where we were.

It's beautiful, Mr. Lucas.

Thanks, Bill.

Uh, you miss Bill, happy.

Oh, it didn't say JP were.

JP, why?

JP, why?

Damn!

I like his tooth.

Too of everything tonight.

But, uh...

Ha-ha-ha.

Did you like it, Isaiah?

Uh, yeah, well...

Well, it'll look real fine on her.

I kind of miss, uh, Philly's wearing these things.

I agree with you, Bill.

You know, modern women don't understand that it's what a man can't see that tantalizes it.

And, uh, keeps his interest.

Up.

Now, I agree with you, Wilson.

Every time I see one of them, shapely gals and bikini swimming costumes.

Yeah.

I ain't gonna keep from nodding off from pure boredom.

I agree with you, Harlan.

Headlight, so...

Come on, come on, come on.

Hey!

Hey!

We haven't had a storm like this in ten years.

John, what's happened to your lads?

Lighter, May.

Lighter.

Happy birthday!

Happy birthday!

Happy birthday!

Happy birthday!

Happy birthday!

Happy birthday!

Happy birthday!

Happy birthday!

Happy birthday!

Aww!

You guys...

You guys are too much.

Happy birthday, Maggie.

Yes.

What happened to all the party this holiday?

Where are they?

They called so they couldn't make it.

Captain Belsons got himself a parcel of emergencies.

I ain't that wet.

Go and find some more guests.

John Houston's falling apart.

Now, John, don't fuss.

We were lucky to get through.

This is fun.

This is wonderful.

It's just so sweet of you all.

Oh, you're more than welcome back here.

How old are you, Maggie?

I'm Maggie Pott.

For the cake, I mean.

One candle will be just fine.

Put it on, Maggie.

It goes on your head.

I thought it's much.

Very good, pretty.

Well, I'll wear you, but it's really sweet.

I knew you'd love it, Maggie.

Thank you.

Oh, thank you.

Oh!

Like it.

It's a Princess Jersey Union suit.

It'll keep you warm as toast on nights like this.

Well, now, well, it's really lovely.

Where did you two find such unusual gifts?

One of them mail-order outfits all the way from Philadelphia.

Go ahead, Maggie.

Open her up.

Are you going to like it?

You even mentioned that a while back.

I did, huh?

Well, okay.

suffers.

Hey.

Oh, my lord.

How bad?

Looks like a crease.

She's bleeding, son.

And the head will overnight simple.

Damn!

I think we better harm ourselves.

Now get the shires.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

Now get the shires.

Get out of here!

I'm not sure.

You're not sure.

You're not sure.

Get out of here.

Get out of here.

Come on, old girl.

The fire just shot.

They in advance a step.

Pull it away.

That's for sure these boys on the other arm.

That's correct.

They do know who we are.

They know we're going to be returning fire shortly,

which is why they're unwilling to charge.

Thank you, Billy.

How's she doing?

Ah, I can't be certain.

Just for sure, that bullet gave her a concussion.

Damn concussions are dangerous.

Yeah, I knew that wouldn't be working.

John.

Yeah, Maggie?

Did I get hit?

Yeah, you was kind of hit.

Nothing to fret over.

Oh, it's so many.

Dear.

Well, stop a bullet with your skull with tennis to thumple it.

You're going to be fine, though.

John, can we take a walk down by the river?

Are these pretty flowers blue?

For sure.

Yeah, Maggie.

What in the blazes is that?

Looks like they've harnessed the sun.

It's portable spotlights.

Just trying to confuse us.

I'll tell you one thing.

These boys ain't emitters.

Right there.

Well, they're trying to blind us with them things.

Why don't we blind them?

Ready?

Ready.

You know, we counted seven, eight guns.

Maybe they got more men.

They're firing in shifts.

We don't really know how many they got at all.

They have more reinforcements on the way.

I couldn't be it.

Otherwise, what are they waiting for?

Maybe that moose codero is just a yellered out

about the way we hit what we shoot at.

There's a whole lot of speculat going on here.

What bothers me most is the idea

that there might be more folks coming.

And if that is the case, time ain't on our side.

Damn, rain ain't helping nothing,

neither.

Can't hear movement, can't see nothing.

I can listen for a whisper in a big wind.

Sean, how's Maggie doing?

Oh, she's up to bleeding.

The pulse seems no over.

She, you know, she goes out of it.

And then she comes back in.

Then she blacks out.

And what about her?

Let those cabrones stick around till first life.

Couldn't be about the time we're leaving.

And we're going to get Austin on time.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Well, ain't that got to be it?

What if we don't get there to that trial and testify on time

tomorrow?

Johnny, you've just said on it,

Joe Jeff Davis will walk out of that courtroom.

Scott Free.

All charges dismissed.

So all this is just a delay, in fact.

Exactly.

Well, it ain't work.

And I'm on a fight now.

And if I have to crawl to Austin, put that skunk in jail,

and that's what I'll do.

Hey, we know who you are.

You work for Joe Jeff Davis.

There ain't nothing you can do to keep us from putting him down.

We know that I got a few standoffalangled boy's

Thanks.

Your love, Scott?

We know, Sean, you know you don't know too much.

All right, we about at the end.

OK, all right.

What's your order down there?

We gotta just work on this house.

Oh, really, Wilson?

Kane's sensitive, obvious, Wilson.

Listen, what?

Sounds like the rain's slowing a little bit.

Well, how's your mother in there?

Stop her, Wilson.

Let's load up and go get him.

But what are we waiting for?

Those boys, they can't shoot a lick.

Yeah, they got them guns.

You can load on Sunday and fire all week, kid.

Bound to hit something if we give them enough time.

Here's what we do.

One of us goes.

The others give cover and fire.

Goes where?

To the nearest telephone.

There'll be maggies.

Get some many coz and law dogs out here.

Okay.

Then I'll go.

Hold it.

I say we draw lots.

Yeah.

As said, I'll go.

We said we'll draw lots.

Cut bullet rides.

Both Pike brothers are going on this mission of Mercer.

I call on any objection.

I can take care of myself.

I said any objections.

Here's your gun.

That's both.

Now, Harlan, go out your bedroom window.

The gunfire has been lightest over there.

You're in that little ditch up there by the tack group.

Get in that and stay low.

Don't move until we give you cover and fire.

No fooling sheriff?

No fooling, Billy.

Now, now, now.

Bill!

Bill!

I can't see him.

Can you see him?

No.

Made it at all.

They've made it by now.

Loaded.

I'm going out there.

No, wait a minute.

They're down.

There's nothing you can do about it.

I can get him back inside.

Yeah, and you get yourself killed.

Join in.

Now, the best thing we can do is wait right here trying to draw the fire.

Loaded.

Loaded.

Yeah.

We can have a little bit of a fire.

Yep.

We can hear him stomping up on us.

You ready, Bill?

Yeah.

Born ready.

Good.

Oh.

Oh, man.

That slug is taking some zip out of me.

And that's a fat time.

I ain't feeling too sprightly myself, my little brother.

Oh, darling.

Could you do me a favor, Tissel?

This final hour of our probable death, not call me the little brother.

Anything you wish.

Bill.

But hang on, change the fact that you're my little brother now.

Willy.

Oh, damn.

We better all the way back.

Was it started, damn it?

Oh.

Oh.

You know, a little brother like me.

I didn't do any better.

I'm a little brother like you.

God.

Likewise, man.

Likewise.

Why don't you quiet that speech, make it now, though?

Because we ain't dead just yet.

Yeah.

Brother.

Bad luck to him.

I'll say it there back.

Don't my idea fellas.

I think we need a new plan.

It's too tight.

It has to be tight, hush.

Billie.

Harlan.

I'm also sorry.

It was a damn fool I'd do an underplane for.

No one's to blame, John.

Then we will all in agreement.

That's right.

Just didn't work out the way it was supposed to be.

It didn't work.

I forgot a lesson I learned a long time ago.

What was that?

It was about Mother Nature.

Mother Nature.

About her.

Member Wolf?

Yeah, her.

We should have used the rain that she gave us.

Exactly.

John, we're getting too acidified in this here century.

What the hell does her have to do with Harlan and Billie?

Yeah, how would it have changed being Bill sliding on and a mud on her bellies, anyhow?

Well, I'll tell you, it was a long time ago that me and Wilson was in one hell of a fix.

It was sort of like the fix we're in right now.

Except we got a situation where there's much too much water.

We had one where it wasn't damn near enough.

Anyway, that's a long story.

Well, keep talking, Sheriff.

We ain't going nowhere, and that's for certain.

That means I got to tell him.

Confessions good for the soul, John.

Lastly, your soul.

I ain't from Texas.

What?

I think he said he's not from Texas.

Where are you from, man, Sheriff?

Georgia?

Georgia!

What is practically up north?

North.

Georgia is further south than some parts of Texas will ever be.

Hey, man.

If I was born in Georgia, I was certainly reborn when I moved out of here.

Yep.

But you remember, Jonathan Grayell was kind of a hollow ghost to the man.

A man who damn near died in that blight.

Most of the farmers was wiped out that year.

Farmers?

You a claw, Mr. Chef?

Oh, no, come on, Billy.

Anyways, me and my neighbors started to move west.

They made me captain of this wagon train.

We started off real good.

And we got to the badlands.

Things really took a turn for the worse.

Anyways, we'd hired on a scout.

Thank the Lord, his name was Wilson Lucas.

He was as ordinary then as he is now.

Tell a damn story.

Not damp to make a spit.

And poor dear people started dying like flies.

Anyway, me and Wolf rode out to try and find this waterhole we heard about.

Somewhere in the vicinity.

And it was then I got my first license.

About her.

Her.

The land, son, wind.

Now she'll love you or kill you.

Well, of course.

Why?

Something's wrong with what?

Well, you all can see the whiteness.

Is it alkaloid?

Yeah, worse than that.

We could deal with alkaloid.

What?

Stuff's going to Earth.

The belly full of stuff, you wind up like a friend.

Are you sure?

Look around you.

You're the thing growing for 50 feet.

You're gonna bug or anything sturdy next to you.

We've got a wagon train full of people three days away with milk cows and kids and Lord knows what.

You know as well as you do what we got comin'.

When a how could a hole you know to turn to poison?

State back east.

Out here, rocks and turn to dust and get water to bed in the season.

Well, that's all there is to it.

Let's get moving one other.

Horses won't make it back to the train.

Listen, tell them.

What's that you doing?

She just called a care and it'll tell them.

Tell them what?

They won't know what that means.

Are you right?

Well, I can't either.

We gotta find some other water.

Couple of seasons ago, there's a spring up here in the foothill.

Couple of seasons ago.

If I was out here on my own, it'd be plain bad luck.

But now I got a bunch of sodbusters leanin' on me.

All of a sudden, I'm a snake and don't know my business.

I don't want you feelin' that way.

This is Lord for sinking land.

You got a whooper, huh?

You don't win like that out here.

You open up and listen to what the country's trying to tell you,

and you better listen and listen good.

You gotta go under.

I don't listen to nothin' what's tryin' to kill me in my own.

Come on, Lucas.

What do you want to do?

I don't know.

Why didn't you?

She's frettin' on now, Maggie.

Fly back down there.

We was just, uh, just discussing, uh, one of them westerns.

We was watching on TV.

Oh, TV.

Oh, good, I see.

Tell me, Sheriff, what happened after you and Wilson,

you lit out of that there poison water hole?

After the water hole?

Well, that's when Wolf and me was really gettin' on well together.

Hope you know what you're doin'.

You mean you ain't havin' fun?

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Well, look here.

Wouldn't you know it?

Wouldn't you know what?

Tell me you can read that stuff.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

You mean you brought me up here to read me about a prehistoric river?

I couldn't read it from down there.

What are you doin' here?

I'm leaving.

You gotta read it to us and tell us all about Buffalo, huh?

The one?

Oh, come on, little hunt.

She's cold.

She's cold like ice.

I'm all in the shock.

Maggie.

Maggie, no, you ain't quitin' on us, are you?

Come on, Maggie.

Maggie, where were you going?

You come back.

You hear a girl?

Maggie?

Johnathan, everything that can be done has been done.

Everything else.

It's up to something bigger.

Yeah, I know.

Thank you.

Johnathan, everything that can be done has been done.

Everything else.

It's up to something bigger.

Yeah, I know.

Thank you.

Johnathan, thank you.

So, John, there you were up on them Indian cliffs, correct?

What?

Yeah.

Well, what happened then, Sheriff?

They're fine with you.

Well, in about the time we found them Indian rock paintings

that we tried to beat each other's brains in.

We got a little bit madder at each other first.

Now, listen, these horses are gone about as far as they're gonna go.

So, what we're gonna do is get on and ride them.

Ride them.

We're gonna find water.

Sounds just like a side buster talking.

Ride your horse to death.

How you gonna get back to your precious people?

We got time to walk back.

We just got walked this far already.

We're gonna keep on walking, because we're gonna save these horses.

What about trying to save some people?

Sometimes I wonder if it's worth it.

All they do is come out here and tear her up.

Oh, tear her up!

See this and see that and talk about a hell-hall like this like it was a person.

Tear her up.

Look, it's just earth and rock.

Hey, see?

Earth and rock now, see, but that's what you don't understand.

Fellas like me come in.

We divert water.

And then we fence it and plow it and seed it.

And then we've got ourselves a farm.

I don't know why.

I keep sticking my neck out for you people.

You took the job.

Yeah.

Right now, it's beginning to rub me wrong.

You want to quit?

When I'm ready to quit, you gotta know it!

You know something you ain't changed to, Link?

You're still a side buster.

Now you take this ranch, you got it all sectioned off and chopped up into little pieces.

Gentlemen, now is not the time nor the place to...

What have you done with your life?

You're wandering around like some gypsy, calling people names, what's trying to build something permanent.

Well, who says you gotta do anything to change the land?

Why don't you just leave it like it is?

You just, you come through and you take what you need and then you, then you go away.

You're right on.

And then you ain't got no roots, then you ain't got no place.

Well, I don't want any roots or any place.

Ha! Whoa!

You're about to get into it over something that happened least 100 years ago.

John, I think she's warming up.

Howdy.

Oh!

Well, Howdy.

Ain't had much of a birth to party, had it?

Well, now, I never been shot on my birthday before.

Howdy.

You boys been shot, too.

Well, it's just a little reconnaissance that didn't turn out quite right.

Yeah, it will be all right, Maggie.

Don't you worry.

They're in trouble, aren't they?

They got us here and they're holding us here.

They're holding us.

They're holding us.

Does this have something to do with Joe Jeff Davis and your Dayton Court tomorrow?

What we reckon, Don?

Well, when you need me, I'll be ready.

You just let me know.

But she still needs a doctor.

See, I could use one of them cell phones myself.

Well, why don't we just go out there and get this over with, huh?

Before we all bleed to death.

I don't think you should be moving around.

Either of you.

Well, you ain't been shot, Isaiah. It makes the body kind of anxious.

How did I have been shot? I know what it feels like.

Yeah, but you ain't currently bleeding.

Well, take our chances, I ask. We're gonna need every gun when we get out there anyways.

Now, hold it, hold it.

I know this shootout's making everybody nervous as a Dickens,

but don't you want to get the rest of mine and John's story?

Yeah, sure.

Go ahead, Wilson.

Just as long as you make it funny.

That interest.

Well, I'll try, Harlan.

Who is out in the badlands?

We didn't have enough water between us to make a tear.

What are you looking at?

I thought I saved, uh...

That is the flight of water on a Sunday.

Better put your hopes on something different than the dogs on a wind.

That way. The north.

They'll fall down again.

Now it's gonna crazy.

Dogs on a wind.

So you know we try to drink sand. Game trails.

Me. I found it.

Gotta be water.

We got one more stab at it, but I'll find it. We're gonna be wolf meat.

What are you gonna do?

Sit down and wait again.

The other night's your head went dancing around all night,

wouldn't be in this trouble to begin with.

Once you talk down, you'll mountain nose at me.

I've lived off the land.

I've hunted and I've fished.

Stay here a little more. Stay in here a lot.

I only think your honey was cows.

Only fish in here ever did was out of a pig trough.

You don't know nothing, you dumb farmer.

That's it, Scout. You pushed me over there.

Get up!

You'll be watery!

Ah!

No!

Why didn't you get

Fr chloro?

I can't promise to Johnson.

MUSIC

Come on.

Who's that?

We made it down.

Huh?

Huh?

That waget came over to that poison water?

See ya.

The whole day.

See how it's used?

There's here's this country now, you see?

All right, all right, I see, I see.

See, I see.

Big cat's been working this pool.

Uh-huh.

Max, I'll move please.

What are you doing?

We're moving.

Well, I'll try you won't be there late tomorrow.

Can't take a chance on that.

Ain't you learned nothing yet?

You don't move from this country till you're ready and we ain't ready.

I'm ready.

You don't water.

Wow!

MUSIC

MUSIC

MUSIC

MUSIC

Hey, Wolf.

Mm.

MUSIC

Oh, what?

What's that you're saying?

About being ready.

MUSIC

MUSIC

MUSIC

MUSIC

MUSIC

Well, it looks like they got some bulbs for them light beams.

I just ain't so sure how much of this we can take.

Well, I ain't so sure how much more I'm willing to take.

I'm angry.

Ain't you angry?

I mean, we got ourselves a situation here.

Situation. We got three wounded, no way to get out surrounded by a gunman.

And us nearly out of ammunition. I call that a situation.

MUSIC

MUSIC

MUSIC

MUSIC

Yeah, they gonna work?

Yeah.

MUSIC

You see anyone?

Just to the left of that tree trunk.

Wilson, one of them sitting down.

Can you make them out?

I see the fellas, Steve.

MUSIC

Get him?

Of course.

MUSIC

Nice piece of 20th century machinery.

It's too bad you didn't pick up some cartridges for that thing, Harlan.

Well, Bill, I was a little busy picking you up, if you'll recall.

I mean, you could have thought of picking up a few cartridges here and there.

It was a pretty good shot, considering how dark it was.

Yeah, of course he always was a pretty good shot.

Never tell you what he did to me after he banged his head out there in the badlands?

Huh?

No, what?

Tried to shoot me.

It's a ball face lie.

Did you have your gun out and was it pointed at me or not?

Yeah, I had the gun out.

But I wasn't gonna shoot you.

MUSIC

Anyway, after this cat spooked the horses, we lost him.

I built this, uh, this contraption.

Put his big old body and we started walking.

And dragging him and walking.

MUSIC

MUSIC

Hey, how are you going, farmer?

Go back to wax.

Get some end of all water.

Some help for you.

Cat.

Cat get a horse.

You spooked him.

We only got one horse.

Come on.

Easy now, not too much.

That's enough.

Here's...

Here's the dumbest ever.

How many?

You gotta...

You gotta leave me.

You gotta go back to the train, warn him, others.

Where you at that boy's water?

I ain't leaving you, Wilson.

Cat.

Uh, uh.

Well, now look at him.

You care, don't you, sir?

You care about them people?

Pulling a big old gun on me.

You care about them sidebusters, don't you?

MUSIC

I've done my best to follow Wilson's voice.

Listen to the land and try to read it.

But I'm the best at good.

But I lost.

If I had the strength and peace of wood,

I would have been Whitland-Grave markers for us.

There's voices.

There's voices praying, it's the strength.

There's the wagon train.

MUSIC

Yes, we'll gather after dinner.

The beautiful, the beautiful river.

That's it.

That's how I become a Texican.

The hard way.

You know, John, all this tale telling them is just your way

of saying that we shouldn't have gone out when she was down.

When she was down, you got it, hon.

So what we ought to have done,

go out there and get him when she is really raising hell.

That's right.

They won't be expected us to hit him when he storms at her peak.

Well, we've got a plan, better than none.

Johnathan, looks like you've got yourselves some disciples.

When she is wailing mad and raining down,

we'll get out there and seek him out.

How do we know?

Trust Wilson, you'll tell you when.

Maggie, old girl.

You're getting a teal all over, boys.

It's getting close, you better get ready.

What's the folks trying to convince you two wounded fellows

to stay here with Maggie is out of the question?

Yeah, well, that would be like trying to talk a preacher's son

into not sinning, John.

And, John, I think I can shoot.

Okay, Maggie.

Wolf, give me that spare.

There you go, girl.

Anybody comes in here doesn't look like any of us.

You take care of them, deputy.

Oh, brothers!

Let us go on, mon!

Let's do it.

Hey, man.

It's no more easy.

Put it all away to the hilt.

Let's go on.

Ah!

All go on.

Pick it up, mister.

Yeah, wait for small letting you.

Happy birthday, Maggie.

Happy birthday, Maggie.

Harlan, thank you.

How long to take you to braid this?

All right, today, maybe two.

Well, give or take a month.

Well, my friend, I won't have much use for it in here,

but I will for your gift, Isaiah.

I don't think there's much that I won't know about the state of Texas

once I finish reading this.

Well, I hope you enjoy it, Maggie.

And I saved your present for last, Mr. Graill.

Because you said it was something I had mentioned before.

Here.

What is this?

Aka polko, John!

John, who is this other ticket for?

Is there two tickets there?

Well, it must be for somebody that maybe you'd like to take

to Aka polko with you.

Now, let me see.

Oh, John!

Now, stay tuned.

As a prison escape puts two old friends on opposite sides of the law,

Robert Mitchum and Wilford Brimley star in Thompson's Last Run.

Next, following Sports Break.