Original subtitles

Back, Stanley. You are going back,

back to when it all began.

Are you back yet?

Get back! We haven't got all day!

It was third grade.

The teacher was Miss Hudlapp.

She was kind of squat and lumpy.

She smelled funny.

But she was kind.

Class! How many times have I told you

in this class, we do not pound

tenpenny nails into Stanley's head!

Stanley: You know how some teachers

have those kind of flaps on their arms?

Those big sacks of limp flab that, like, dangle?

It sounds weird, but for some reason

as I watched those big old flaps of hers,

I began to feel oddly aroused.

And then... the horror began.

Class:!

Young man, what's that in your lap?

Stanley: It was useless,

like putting a baseball cap on the Washington Monument.

And then, all at once, there he was.

Monkeybone!

Hey, baby, I love your way.

Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Cuckoo!

How about it, Doc? Can you help me?

All in good time, my boy. All in good time.

What a loser!

Roll out the wacky wagons!

That was hilarious.

Well, that's our pilot,

and the good news is the Comedy Channel

has picked us up with an order for six episodes.

And now I'd like you to meet the man who got it all started,

the creator of America's most disturbed comic strip,

the man behind the monkey, if you will.

Ladies and gentlemen, please, Stu Miley!

Come on, Stu, don't be shy.

- Stu! - Good job, Stu!

- Good job. - All right, Stu!

- Whoo! - Good job, man!

Good job!

You can't go yet. There's a pot load of money here.

- Herb. - And besides, you haven't even

talked to Bill from Bazoom Toys,

who's got a lot of great ideas for you.

Mr. Miley, do we ever. Check it out.

The Monkeybone phone. Every kid's gonna want three,

and they're gonna want their friends to have three.

Otherwise, they're not gonna be friends anymore.

Check out the slippers. You're walking down the hallway,

your tootsies are warm, and you're laughing the whole way.

Hey, how 'bout this, The Monkeybone backpack?

You're going to Europe, flip it around,

- hide your passport... - Stu. Stu.

Stu, what are you doing? Come on. Come on.

We gotta go talk to the guys from Burger God.

- Come on. Let's go. - Burger God?

Aren't they the ones that found the rat gut in the French fries?

No. No. No, they found...

They found a pig gut, which is different.

That's... That's practically pork.

No, it's a lot of real money,

the kind of money that can buy happiness.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

- I got the ring, Herb. - The what?

- The ring. - What ring?

- That ring. - No.

- What... What do you mean? - Tonight's the night, Herb.

- But why? - Tonight is the night.

That girl pulled me out of a nightmare.

She makes me happy, Herb, not all of this stuff.

I'll take that. Thanks.

Right over here.

Do you see this door?

The cool thing is that you open it,

you go out, it closes, and you can't get back in.

Stu, you want to leave?

- Yeah. - You're a big hit.

- Everybody loves you. - Come on!

Doc, I don't want to be stuck here

with a bunch of these media creeps.

I just want it to be us home alone.

Come on. Besides, I...

I have something that I... I want to give to you.

Well, can't you give it to me later?

Yes, I could, but if later got here sooner,

it would be a lot better.

Hi, Herb.

Aha. Yes.

Yeah, that... Yeah, that'll be good.

You got everything?

Yeah, see, these are... These are just prototypes.

No, they aren't the real products, you know.

Just something for you to take home.

- This is not for... - You know,

just spend some time with them.

Get a feeling for them before you say no.

No.

Stu, come on. One more thing.

Actually, there's still a couple of trucks

to come with... with, you know, Monkeybone stuff.

Would you guys mind just waiting a little bit longer?

Good night, Herb.

Of course, yeah. You guys get out of here.

You're a beautiful couple.

Would you look at this? Now he won't let us leave.

- Who? - The monkey.

Hey, Herb, can you get this guy to move?

- Yeah. Okay. - Come on, please.

- Help me out here. - Stu, stop.

The monkey is good luck. Come on.

I never had any good luck until I met you.

You thought him up. Everybody loves him.

You're gonna be a huge success, so just relax and enjoy it.

Thank you, Herb!

- What happened? - I don't know.

- What is it? - Some sort of

inflatable raft or something.

Whoa!

Waah!

- Stop the car! Stop the car! - Whoa!

Whoa!

Put on the brakes! Stop the car!

That's a great idea! Wish I'd thought of that!

Stu, I'm right here, baby.

It's me. It's Julie. I love you.

Everything's gonna be okay, I promise.

I promise.

Julie: I'm Dr. McElroy from the Sleep Institute.

This man is my patient.

Man: There's no response to external stimuli.

He's probably slipped into a coma.

Julie: I want to take him to the University Hospital.

They have the best head trauma center.

Waah!

Now arriving in Down Town.

Please exit to the right of the car.

Hello?

Please exit to the right of the car.

- Am I dead? - Next stop, Land of Death.

Wait, please.

I'd like to know if I'm dead.

Hey, young man! Carry your bags to the Y?

Hello, handsome. Like cigars? We got 'em cheap.

- Aah! - Genuine Cubans.

Say, fella, how's about a shoeshine?

Spit and polish. Woo-hoo!

Yo, coma dude, man, what's your hurry?

Nothing but a bad freak show in there.

Yeah, big boy, what about that backpack?

Coming through! Get your nightmares here, sir!

Step right on up.

We got nightmares about Daddy,

nightmares about Papa.

- Step right up. - Yeah.

Step right up here. I got some nightmares here.

- First run. - Excuse me. Help me.

- Hey there, young fellow. - Aah!

- Want to see a nightmare? - Ride the Tower of Terror!

Hey, mister, got a smoke on you?

No, I'm trying to cut back.

- Come on up here... - Good eatin'!

Barbecue pork. Barbecue squab.

- Bacon. Chitlins. - Step right up.

Three balls for a dollar.

Win a prize for the little lady.

Aah!

Hey, bud. Glad to see me?

- N-No. - What's the matter?

Come on, dream buddy. Don't run away.

We got a lot of catching up to do.

Cyclops: You got any new nightmares for me,

something scary? I love scary!

Hey, new in town?

How about a coma-tini?

There it is.

By the way, my name is Bull.

Hi. Hi. How do you do?

Stu Miley, right?

I seen all your dreams.

You're a big celebrity down here.

Down where?

DownTown, land of Nightmares.

Wake up, everybody!

It's time for Monkeybone live!

Time for a little singing, a little dancing,

and of course some good-natured bashing of my very own creator,

Mr. Stu-pid Mopey!

Hey, guy!

Now I know you're all in comas,

but my first guest is gonna spike your charts!

Hiya, boss.

Kimmy?

Julie. My God.

My God. Look at him.

Look at my poor little baby brother.

God, I can't even stand to look at him.

God. Wow.

How you doing, little one? You holding up?

I'm fine, Kimmy, fine.

At least he had a chance to give you the ring.

The ring?

Grandmother's ring, the engagement ring,

the one that he called and had me send to him...

Good morning, Dr. McElroy.

Hello, Doctor. Kimmy, this is Dr. Edelstein.

Well, vital signs have stabilized. That's good.

Listen, Doctor, these machines

are actually what's keeping him alive right now, right?

- At the moment, yes. - Okay.

Well, then do you think that you could possibly

give me a realistic...

Comas are unpredictable.

He could wake up today or tomorrow or a month...

Doctor. Hey, sweetheart.

Our father took a long time to die,

so Stu and I made a pact

that when our time came,

we wouldn't let it drag out,

SO...

which one's the plug?

What plug?

The plug, yeah, the one you pull.

God, Kimmy, don't even talk like that.

Hey, do you... I need a realistic answer, Doctor.

- Give me a date. - All right.

Three months.

There's always some brain damage,

but after three months, the chances of coming back

shrink dramatically every day.

Well, I want him to have every chance, Doctor.

We could certainly give it three months.

Poor Buster. He hasn't eaten all day.

What's that?

Stu did this?

Yeah, right about the time we met,

when he first came to the sleep lab.

Jesus, honey.

He hadn't had a good night's sleep in years.

The nightmares would wake him up,

and he'd just start writing, painting.

How do you go from here to cartoons?

- Switch hands. - What?

Stu was right-handed, so I made him switch the pen

to his left hand to see what would come out,

and we got the first Monkeybone.

Wow. Two guys in the same brain.

Yeah.

Which one'd you fall in love with?

Bull: Hey, Stu, why so glum?

At least they haven't pulled the plug yet.

Have another 'tini.

No. I'm sick of martinis,

carnival rides,

watching other people's nightmares.

But you know the one thing

that I'm really, really sick of is...

Monkeybone: Speaking of dames, I'd like to sing a tune

about the beautiful Miss Julie.

She's conscious. Boyfriend here is an eggplant.

I'm just kidding, pal,

'cause you know in your heart.

Miss Julie is faithful, loyal, and true.

Jumbo!

You have humiliated me in public for the last time.

I doubt that.

Back in the pack.

Monkeybone: Monkey-napper!

Help! Monkey-napper! Come on, Stu, let me out.

It's not my fault. I can't help myself.

I happen to be a figment of your imagination.

Then you can learn to act normally. I had to.

Normal?

Hiya, Stu.

Hello, Kitty!

I brought you a refill.

I'd love a stiff one, but Stu here

forgot to endow me, equip me.

Nothing for him.

He's being repressed.

|s something wrong, Stu?

You seem tense.

It's my girlfriend.

I'm starting to think I'll never see her again.

Why didn't I just propose right there?

At least that way, I'd know what she said.

I'd know if she's still waiting for me.

She is waiting for you, Stu.

I know she is.

Guys like you, they don't come around that often.

I mean it, Stu.

You're one in a million.

That's it. Back in the pack.

Not by the hair of my butty-butt-butt.

I'm reporting this to my union.

What union?!

The Sidekicks Union...

Me, Tonto, Robin the Boy Wonder, Chewbacca.

You top bananas better watch your...

That's it.

- Enemy fire. I'm coming in. - Come here!

Ahooga! Ahooga!

Dive! Dive! Dive! Dive! Dive!

Aah! I left my phone number in your undies.

Try not to lose it in traffic.

Sorry, Kitty.

Be right back after I choke my monkey!

- Eat my dust! - Monkeybone!

Loser! Wha hoo hoo hoo hoo!

Waah!

Earl Biegler.

I have come...

Can't... Can't hear you, young fella. Speak up.

Earl Biegler...

Stop mumbling, you durn fool.

Jeez. Here.

An Exit Pass.

Got a reprieve.

Good for him. He's gonna wake up.

No, no, no, this is not right.

- He's old. - That geezer?

- Ancient. - That decrepit old fart?

Monkeybone: Hey, Honest Abe, the Great Emancipator!

No. What...

- But... - But...

- What... - What...

I...

- The... - The...

Hey! Hey, you.

I want to talk to you.

Hey. He got an Exit Pass.

Where's mine?

- Stu! - When do I get to go home?

Stu, please, let's not stir up the nice Reaper.

Sorry, mate.

- Off duty. - What?

- Off duty?! You... - D-Don't! Just calm down.

Whoa, boss. You got it all mixed up.

- You're the nice guy. - Let go!

I'm the irrepressible screw-up. No, don't, don't.

- Woo! - Mr. Reaper!

Mr. Reaper, I'm sorry! Wait! Wait, come back!

Come back!

Stu: That's right!

You fly away!

Fly away.

Fly, fly.

Who am I kidding?

I am never gonna get out of here.

I'm never gonna see her again.

Good golly, Mr. Miley.

Mr. Stu Miley?

Package for you.

Thank you very much.

"You are invited to a pajama party at Hypnos' Hideaway."

Woo! Playtime with Mr. Big!

Hypnos, the god of nightmares. Do you know what this means?

I finally get a date.

He's finally gonna hear my case.

Woo!

What do you think?

Come on, you. I need an opinion. Wake up.

You know, you got fan mail to read,

people wanting autographs.

You've got 15 minutes of fame,

and you're gonna sleep right through it.

Of course, knowing you,

maybe that's the plan?

Julie. Hi!

Kimmy.

- Hey. - Hi. Why are you...

Listen, this is really hard for me, but, um,

well, it's been three months,

and, um, I gave the order.

Woo! Now this is living.

There is a live feed tonight.

Live feed? What is that?

Just watch.

J Can't shake free... J - Hey!

- Aah! - What?!

Get your fat ass out of my face.

Showtime!

- The show's going to start. - Over to the orb.

- It's gonna be... - The orb is on.

Look, he's sitting on a cake.

Hey, that's me.

Nice tux, dude.

Who's dreaming this?

Julie?

What is this?

Julie, I'm... I'm here.

Bon voyage, little brother.

No, Kimmy!

My God. No, don't! Julie!

Julie!

Julie!

Julie, I love you.

Julie, I love you.

Look at me. Look at me. I'm up here.

Julie.

No!

Stu.

- It's Hypnos. - Yo, Hyp.

- Whoa. - It's him.

- Hyp, Hyp, hurrah. - Love your honey.

Good evening. Good evening.

Stu Miley.

Cock-a-doodle-doo!

Hey, I'm glad you could make it, man.

We see a lot of nightmares down here,

but yours are like caviar.

I just saw a dream.

It was my girlfriend.

She dreamed that they were gonna

pull the plug on me.

Give us a moment, will you, darling?

Toodles.

You see, Stu,

you made this pact with your sister?

No life support.

Pact? Pact? No life support?

Pull the plug. Pull the plug, ple...

No.

That's wrong. Julie would never agree to that.

They're pulling the plug at 9 AM.

Anybody that dumb

deserves to die.

Can't you help me?

Stu, I'm just the god of sleep.

This is Death's bailiwick.

Death?

Cheating Death...

And this is extremely off the record.

What you gotta do is go into the Land of Death,

sneak up right under Death's nose,

and steal one of those Exit Passes.

Well, Hyp, thanks for the idea,

and good luck with the shock therapy.

Will you shut up?

He gave you a sign?

If it doesn't sound rational, okay, it's not rational.

I don't care anymore, Alice.

We've got exactly six hours to wake him up.

Hey, look, Mr. Green Stain's got a dead one.

What do we do now?

He's taking her to the Land of Death, right?

So all we have to do is hitch a ride.

Don't worry. I'll protect you.

Listen to you, Xena, Warrior Princess.

Stu: The gates are closing. Come on.

Help, boss. I'm going fast.

I'm dying, boss.

Shh. Come on, come on.

Monkeybone: Whoo!

Hey, look what I found.

Whoo!

Well, that's worth knowing.

Chart number one is from five years ago.

This is the worst nightmare Stu had at the sleep lab...

Abnormally intense alpha wave activity

with a peak that lasts just over a minute.

And this... Alice.

This is earlier today.

Holy shit.

- Wow. - Yeah.

He's caught in a loop, a nightmare loop.

Does everybody here know what Oneirix is?

It's nightmare juice. I mean,

if those charts are right, Stu's swimming in the stuff.

You thinking we can decrease the levels?

No, I want to give him more. I want to give him a massive dose.

That's not gonna stop his nightmare.

Hutch, I don't want to stop his nightmare.

I want to crank it up. I want to take it right off the charts.

I want to scare him awake.

DownTown trolley, right on schedule.

Yes, yes, yes, all right.

I'm at a critical juncture here, please.

The Last Days of Pompeii. Watch.

Nice eruption.

Thank you. I'm yours. What do you want?

- Let's get to reaping. - Let's go.

We got a bunch of new recruits,

fresh in from Dispatch.

- Fine, fine. Send them in. - Send 'em in!

Assistant: Okay. First up on the docket today...

Chakasandra Singh, New Delhi. Snakebite.

Death: Singh, sang, sung.

Dead.

Okay, Scott, step up here, please.

Scott, Death. Death, Scott.

- Hi, Scott. - Hello.

Scott enjoys sunsets and Steven Seagal movies.

- Come on. - Next up, Clarke Devereaux,

Chicago, Illinois.

Looks like complications from a coma.

- Right. Come on. - What?

- It says he recovers. - Recover?

It says he's gonna live another 40 years.

It's a reprieve.

Let me have an Exit Pass.

- Exit Pass. - Yeah.

That means forms. That means bureaucracy.

- You. - Assistant: Aw.

Yeah. What's your name?

- Say something. - Herb.

- Come here, Herb. - Monkeybone: Now?

- Yes. - Ooh hoo. Stand up straight.

- I am standing up... - Stand up straight.

- Shut up. - Straight.

I want you to picture this with me if you can.

Yeah?

- You're a customer. You're about to die.

You're a little excited, a little fearful,

and here comes the Grim Reaper.

Tell me, Herb, what the hell is he covered in?!

- Stu: Pea soup? - Monkeybone: Guacamole?

As you requested, one Exit Pass

O Mighty Wielder of the Scythe.

Stu: No, wait. Just behave.

Monkeybone: Exit Pass.

What a coincidence.

I was just heading over to DownTown.

Don't bite me there!

I'd be happy to drop that off for you, if you don't mind!

Shut up. Shut up.

- Herb? - Monkeybone: Yeah?

Could I see you over there, please?

- Over there? - Over there?

- Yeah. - Okay.

Okay.

Latta.

- Impostors! - Get 'em!

Get that monkey!

Go, you idiots. Go! Go! Go!

Geronimo!

Got it. You're... Whoo! Yeah!

- That's it! - Well done!

- Fire in the hole! - Whose hole?

Whose hole?

Hey, Monkeybone, there's our train.

Arnold, now. Now!

Come on, Monkeybone! Come on, little buddy! You can do it!

Okay. All righty.

Take it easy.

Help, boss!

Coming in.

Monkeybone: Whoo!

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Yikes!

Monkeybone!

What's the maximum safe dose?

Most we've ever used is, um, half a cc.

Five ccs.

Monkeybone: Hold it, Doctor!

Stu, I'm coming in.

Monkeybone: Woo! Yah!

That's it, boss. Now hit those pedals.

Monkeybone: Whoo!

Yes!

Terra firma, we made it.

- Monkeybone. - What?

- You saved my life. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Whatever. Look, we only have about five minutes.

It's just that now that I'm leaving,

there's so many things that I wanted to say to you.

Don't get mushy on me. I'll be fine.

Just drop me off at the bar.

You've been a hell of a figment, pal.

Sure wish I could take you home with me.

Right back at you, boss. Tech tch.

Right back at you.

No joke, little buddy. I really do love...

Wheel

I love you, too, boss!

Love you, too!

Stu: Wait! Monkeybone!

Don't do this!

Please! Wait!

- Nice work, little brother. - Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait!

No, don't do this!

Let go!

Monkeybone, we can talk about this!

Come on! Wait!

Come back here!

Wait! No, you don't understand! He's got my Exit Pass!

I'm so sorry, Stu.

It's just all part of the deal.

We've got big plans for that body of yours.

What?

No! This can't be happening!

No!

Julie! Julie!

Waah!

Stu?

Ju...

Julie?

Whoa, baby!

Stu!

Two more little ticks of the clock, and...

Welcome home.

Stu.

Home, sweet home?

Actually, I was expecting something a little swankier.

You have to assume that Monkeybone would be

a pretty lucrative franchise with

royalties

servants.

I gave all the servants the day off.

Honey, why don't you just rest on the sofa for a minute?

All right.

Bitchin' good cake.

- Good. - You want a hunk?

No, thank you.

Here's to a celebration

that should've happened three months ago.

Stu

I want you to know

I found the little surprise you left that night.

If you were wondering what the answer was,

it was yes, and it still is.

- Tis? - Yeah,

with all my heart.

And what was the question?

You asked me to marry you.

Marry you?!

No, you did.

Here.

See?

He did it!

No! No, no, no, no.

Buster, look who's here!

Hello, Buster.

I've never seen him act like this before!

He's a liar! He's a lying son of a bitch!

Don't believe anything he says! I think he's got mental problems!

Ooh, baby.

What are you watching?

Nothing.

Ooh.

Do you think this is medically advisable?

We got a doctor on duty.

As long as it's okay with Monkeybone.

Which it seems to be.

Monkeybone: Whee yah!

Dive, dive, dive!

God, Stu!

My God.

Are you all...!

Heads up.

Feeding time!

What... What... What... What...

What... What...

Who are you? What do you want?

Dinner.

You gotta move fast in this crowd, or you'll starve.

Here. Have some popcorn.

They feed us the slops from the Morpheum Theater.

You hope for Milky Way. You settle for Skittles.

I'm Steve, Steve King.

Stephen King?

What are you doing here?

I'm Jack the Ripper.

- I'm Lizzie Borden. - How do you do?

Attila the Hun.

Attila the Hun.

All hail the most glorious, the most esteemed, the most...

Enough, enough, enough. I'm hung over.

Hyp, did you bring me cough medicine?

How 'bout that night light I asked for?

King, you pussy.

Bite me, Poe.

- You set me up! - Easy, pal.

I was just coming to congratulate you.

It ain't easy snatching one of those Exit Passes.

Steve here was the last guy to do it,

and that must have been, what, 25 years ago?

Why'd you do it? What did I ever do to you?

It's nothing personal, Stu.

It's just we need nightmares, fresh nightmares.

We'd die without 'em.

That's why we grabbed your body.

I'm no nightmare maker.

That's the monkey's job.

Monkeybone?!

What?!

Let's face it, Stu. Nobody wants to be a figment.

It's kind of a dead-end career, so he gets fed up,

he comes to us with a proposition.

We help him swipe your body.

He helps us get a heap of brand-new nightmares!

Hey, news flash, buddy! I'm a cartoonist!

Sure, but you've got a girlfriend

who's figured out the chemical basis of bad dreams.

And guess what. She just whipped up

a big old batch of nightmare juice!

We're predicting record box office.

What's plural for "orifice," "orifi"?

No, I wasn't in a coma. All right, I was in a coma,

but it wasn't like I was in a coma and goofing off.

I was thinking up hilarious new bits the whole time!

You see, it's all synergy.

The show synergizes the strip.

The strip synergizes the merchandising.

The merchandising synergizes the religion,

and the religion synergizes the Barbara Walters Special.

And then, baby, we are all

in the United Empire of Monkeybonia!

No, really, he's... He's ready to merchandise.

Yeah, but we gotta move on this, all right?

So let's get the burger guys, the toy guys,

and the lunchbox people over here. Hi, sweetie.

Herb, get off that phone right now.

You're exploiting him!

- Am not. - Herb...

- Yeah, we need to get the... - he's not himself.

He's your friend, he trusts you,

and you're taking advantage of him.

- Am not. - Are too!

- I'm on the phone! - My cocina.

Hey, hey.

My refrigerator, where I store and chill my food.

And this, the oven where I cook my food.

And if you'll step this way,

you'll find my dining room, where I eat my food.

What is all this stuff about merchandising?

You hate merchandising.

I know, baby, I do.

But look at it from another angle.

There's a potload of money here.

You two-bit simian stooge.

We didn't send you up here

to shake your booty with a bunch of lingerie babes.

But it's my fantasy.

I don't care!

We sent you up here to make nightmares.

Now you get out there,

and you get that nightmare juice,

and you get to work.

'Cause you may be a free man during the day,

but when you dream

your monkey ass is mine

mine, mine.

Eep.

What the...

Baby.

I'd really like to,

but it'd put me in a lot of hot water.

Why don't you just give that back?

Do you?

Well, in that case, why don't you give me a little preview?

J Making love with you J.

J Is all I wanna do. J.

Sucker.

Yow!

Let go! Let go!

Stu.

Where have you been?

Nowhere. I was asleep.

Honey, don't lie to me. I know you went out.

No, not me. You must be dreaming.

I know what this is about.

You've been mad at me because I haven't proposed to you yet.

Go on. Admit it.

You've been giving me the stink-eye ever since

the business with the banner, you and that dog.

I have not been giving you the stink-eye.

You're giving me the stink-eye right now!

Stu, you're wearing shoes and a poncho

with no pants in bed.

Well, did you all have sidekicks, figments?

- Monkeys? - A raven.

Mine was a dog.

Man's best friend? Pfft.

I went through hell to get that Exit Pass,

and who got to use it? Cujo.

Miley, you got a visitor.

Kitty.

God, Stu.

I'm so sorry.

I wanted to tell you what was going on.

I really, really liked you.

Thank you, Kitty, but that doesn't matter right now.

The woman I love is living with

a horny little monkey that looks like me.

What a lucky girl.

Kitty, listen. Is there any way I can get a message to her

to warn her about what Monkeybone is up to?

Time's up! Break it up, you two.

- No, no! - Let's move.

- No! - Come on!

Just give me a moment, just to look at him! Stu!

Feeding time!

As you know, Burger God is prepared to launch

our new Mega Monkey Meal.

- Something wrong? - A pig gut!

How much is McDonald's offering?

Less.

A pleasure to be in business with you.

Here's another thing. The Natural History Museum

is kicking off a fund-raising campaign,

and they want to know if you could appear at a benefit.

I get it. We give the public

the impression that we're doing something charitable.

Brilliant!

Yes, yes, that's it exactly.

Now, I think you remember Bill here from Bazoom Toys.

We have a little something here we think you might just like.

It's a prototype.

Code name... Little Jack Horner.

Go ahead, pull out his thumb.

No, it's mine!

Say, could you fill these babies up with a particulate solution

of one part powdered chemical enzyme to 10 parts water?

Jerry?

Jerr... Yeah, I guess we could.

All right!

You got yourself a deal!

Shall we shake on it?

Shake on it?

That's not the way we do things in Monkey Land.

In Monkey Land, we rub our bottoms together.

You heard the man. Get your asses on the table!

Yeah!

The thing is, I'm responsible for the way he's acting.

It's the nightmare juice. It's gotta be.

Julie, that stuff probably saved his life.

He's not Stu anymore.

The Stu I love is gone.

He spends all his time in the garage.

He says that he's

autographing.

Nightmare in a butt.

I think I hear a guinea pig!

Listen, let's bring him in for some tests.

I guarantee you're overreacting.

Actually, no, I don't think I'm overreacting.

Waah!

Sweet dreams, you little bastard.

Dog dreams?

This is completely humiliating.

That stinking monkey. I can't believe it.

We give him a body, and he sends us dogs?

Shh. Let's not think about dogs.

Let's think about pussycats.

What a luscious surprise.

A delish...

So I thought what the hell. I'm a big celebrity now.

I can get all the chicks I want. Why get married?

- Yeah. - But on the other hand,

if you are married, no more stink-eye.

Plus they can't testify against you.

Testify about what?

Hello.

- Julie, it's Hutch. - Hutch, what?

The nightmare juice, it's gone.

Somebody switched it for a beaker of grape Kool-Aid.

Grape Kool-Aid? But who'd want to...

Go! Go! Go!

Stu.

Stu.

Shh-shh-shh.

Here, you'll need these for your trip.

What?

And this.

Kitty, you can't do this. You're gonna get in trouble.

You're the one true-hearted man I ever met.

Now, you find a way back to that girl of yours,

and you make her happy.

Thank you.

What about the guard?

I'll take care of that rat.

Okay, Stu.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Goodbye, Kitty.

Guard: Hey, lady, what are you...

Kitty?

Just go!

Well, thank you, Kitty.

I'll never forget you, and I mean that.

I'll really never forget you.

All right, guys, take it over to the right a little.

Right here?

Yeah, take it over to the right.

All right, that looks good. Now tie it on.

Last one.

What kind of idiot sneaks into the Land of Death twice?

One that likes a good stretching?

Shut up.

I want to hear what he has to say.

Death, I know you're mad at me, and I don't blame you,

but we're both mad at DownTown,

and we're both mad at your brother, Hypnos.

So now you're gonna tell me it's all his fault

and you were completely innocent.

No, I'm not gonna tell you that.

I wanted that Exit Pass. I wanted it bad enough

I had to stare you right in the face to get it.

Why?

Because...

I got a girl up there,

and I should have...

I... l never...

I want to tell her that I love her.

Gosh.

He loves her.

That changes everything.

Okay, uncle.

Sit down. Sit down right now.

Down! Down!

And don't say another word.

Look, I'm a simple person.

I do an honest day's work.

Why does everybody make it so hard for me?

You're switching bodies. You're stealing Exit Passes.

I work a long enough day as it is.

Look, you can take my soul. I don't need it.

You can turn me into a paper doll, too.

Just please... Just give me one hour.

That's it.

Assistant: Hey. Hey, I love my girlfriend.

Well

you're gonna need a new body.

You know

I don't generally do this,

but I really like your comic strip.

Really?

Yeah, it slays me.

Death, coming from you, that's...

You know, that's...

It's nothing,

but turn around before I change my mind.

Turn around.

All right, could you bend over, Stu, please?

- Bend over? - Yeah, just bend over.

All right.

- Bye-bye! - Waah!

Come on. Come... Yeah. Come on.

Fresh pancreas.

That ought to pay for that new Mercedes.

And preparing to detach my round-the-world cruise.

Where am I?

What's wrong with my neck?

You broke it! You're an organ donor!

Those are our organs!

Get back on that slab!

I need this body!

- So get back... - Hey!

cause I got a...

It's a bone saw!

Yeah! Hah!

Somebody get him!

Sir, are you okay?

- Hey! - Get him! Get him!

Get back here with that body!

Whoa!

What are you doing?

- Sorry! Sorry! - That's our body!

Whoa!

- There he goes! - There he is!

By the fence! Get him! Get him!

Let's go! Let's head him off!

Hey, Mr. Snyder. Hey!

Wow. Garden's looking good.

I apologize for my appearance, but I'm your...

Please, please, please, just don't call the cops, okay?

Doc! Doc!

Julie!

Buster!

Ooh, how you been, buddy?

You been good? You been a good dog?

Yeah? What you got here for me?

What's this?

I look like an idiot.

Damn!

Stay. Stay.

Good dog.

Hi! Sorry! Excuse me!

Hey, bus! Wait!

Hey!

Hey.

Sorry.

The organs are, in transit.

There he is! He's on the bus!

They're in perfect working order.

They're working even better than we expected.

So let's see what this

particulate solution is all about.

Damn, what the hell is this stuff?

Man. This is weird.

Hey, come back here, you!

My God. We've got a flasher.

Isn't that Herb?

Must be some sort of publicity stunt.

The clothes... Clothes have turned evil!

They're working together!

Shirts! Socks! Whole ensembles!

For God's sake, so get rid of your tie!

No, no, no! Herb, you ding-dong.

Get back here! Stop!

Ladies and gentlemen.

Forget about the naked man with the purple face.

Your incredible, misguided generosity

has made this a very special day for the museum

and also a very special day for me,

all thanks to a very special lady,

Ms. Julie McElroy.

Julie, take a bow!

On your feet, girl! Give it up for Julie!

Stand up! Stand up!

Looking good!

You're mighty mighty, and I'm letting it all hang out.

How 'bout it, Julie?

But it... it looks so new.

Well, that's because it is new.

But the heirloom ring,

your grandmother's ring.

What?

You want a used ring?

There he is!

Get him! Stop that dead man!

We're doctors!

We don't want to hurt you! We just want your organs!

Stop running!

- No! - Then you'll be sued!

- Fine! - Damn you, dead man!

- Hey! - Invitation only.

We don't need invitations. We've got diplomas.

Julie.

Operators are standing by. Offer expires at midnight.

Doc, don't do it!

He isn't Stu! He's Monkeybone!

All right, let's go. That's it.

Say, babe,

what did that creep call you?

He called me Doc.

Woman: Show me the monkey!

Crowd: Show me the monkey!

Show me the monkey!

Come on, fella. Let's go.

- That's it. - Please.

Please! I have to talk to this man.

Okay.

Who are you? Why did you say those things?

Doc, it's all a mix-up.

We were in the Land of Death,

he stole my Exit Pass,

and that's how Monkeybone got my body.

See? All they had left for me was this stinking corpse.

Thank you.

Doc! No, don't walk away!

He's only here to give people nightmares!

Doc, the dream!

Don't you remember?

They were pulling the plug, and I called out to you!

And you heard me, remember?

Buster?

Aw, come here, fella.

Don't lie to me.

Is it?

Is it you?

I had to come back, Julie.

I had to give you this.

I meant to give it to you before,

the night it happened.

I was happy, Julie.

I really was.

Just try to remember me like that, okay

not like this.

What's wrong?

I'm crying, too.

I just don't have any tears.

I'm all dried up.

Lemmings and gerbils!

You know the next part.

It's 50 bucks a swat.

Who's up first?

Yeah! No, this one's on me.

Here's your bat, babe. Step right up.

Just cock the bat like this.

- That's good. Just... - Alice: Julie?

It's all right. It's okay.

We have to stop this.

Those dolls have been tampered with. They're toxic.

No, that's okay. Hey, no problem.

No.

Monkeybone.

Back in the pack.

Stu?

I mean it this time.

Back in the pack!

I can explain everything.

I was tired of being a figment, see?

It's dirty, menial work. It's kind of like being a pool boy,

but even pool boys have their own bodies.

Don't I at least deserve a body?

Not my body!

You get back in the pack, you bastard!

Back in the pack?

With the stinky gym socks and the moldy cheese sticks?

No! I've got the body,

and I am never getting back in that goddamn pack! Meh.

Waah!

Please, no! They're dangerous! No, you can't!

Come on.

Excuse me.

What is he doing?

He's gonna jump.

I love you.

- No! - Monkeybone!

Hey, stop! Let go! Let go!

Did you sleep with my girl?

Sleep with her?

We did the whole "Kama Sutra" twice.

Yeah? Where's her birthmark?

Come on!

Bingo!

Hey, where'd you get that body?

It's a loaner, okay?!

You sprung a leak?

Boy: Ooh.

I think it can be saved. Put it on ice.

- Hike! - Hut!

Stu: Don't move. I'm coming at you!

Aah!

Damn it!

Boy: Over here!

- Whoa. - I'll take that, young man!

Here, have another!

I'm dead!

No! Stop!

That's ours!

- Hey! Hey! - Thanks.

Mine!

- Ha ha! - Ha ha!

Aah!

Come on, Monkeybone.

Let's do it!

Mano y mano!

Hey, Stu, I got an idea, joint custody!

I get the body on the weekends.

- You get... - Shut up!

- I think I can bring 'em down. - Julie: No!

Please, wait!

Monkeybone: Where's my body? Where's my body?

You mean my body!

Crap! We're dead!

A hundred bucks on the monkey! A hundred bucks!

Stu: You hunk of cloth!

Go! Go!

Closing time.

Monkey killer! Monkey...

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Whoo hoo hoo. Hey.

Stu: Death.

Stu!

You think I gilded the lily a little?

I do like to dress up when I come DownTown.

So how was she?

She...

She was beautiful.

Of course, I was decomposing at the time,

but at least now she knows how much I love her.

So I guess I'm yours.

Excuse me, Death.

I hate to break up this little love fest,

but my little bladder is about to burst.

But I really gotta go!

Hey, where... where's Monkeybone?

Back in your head, where he belongs.

You know, Stu, I don't want to hurt your feelings,

but on your own, you're a tad vanilla,

so I didn't want to send you back without him.

What? Back? You...

Did you... You're sending me back?

Yeah, I'm sending you back.

Thank you. Death...

I like you.

I'll take the "South Park" guys instead.

I hear they're dying to meet me.

Come on, Stu. Come on. Turn around.

Right. So I should assume the...

Yeah,

- Stu? - Yeah?

Little higher.

See you!

Waah ha ha ha ha!

Excuse me. That's our corpse!

We've been chasing it all over town!

Help yourself, pal.

All right, smart-ass.

You prepared to cooperate now?

Whoa.

Buddy, can I borrow your, um...

Thank you.

Hey, buddy, how are you?

How are you?

Is it you?

Is it really you this time?

People, for the love of God,

take off your clothes!

Take off your clothes!