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1
00:00:04,282 --> 00:00:07,111
Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to the Philadelphia Zoo.
2
00:00:07,154 --> 00:00:09,200
- Just a reminder that...
- Damn it. Where is Frank?
3
00:00:09,243 --> 00:00:10,549
I'm not missing this lion feeding.
4
00:00:10,592 --> 00:00:12,333
Oh, lions are cool, man.
5
00:00:12,377 --> 00:00:13,769
For sure.
But, you know, the best exhibit's
6
00:00:13,813 --> 00:00:15,336
- the meerkats. You know?
- Meerkats!
7
00:00:16,022 --> 00:00:17,643
Hey, man, you know,
they have those bubbles,
8
00:00:17,686 --> 00:00:19,862
you know, where you can pop
your head up out of the ground
9
00:00:19,906 --> 00:00:21,125
- and look around.
- Yeah, you're looking around.
10
00:00:21,168 --> 00:00:22,343
It's like you are a meerkat.
11
00:00:22,387 --> 00:00:23,997
No, I'm not waiting for Frank.
I'm-I'm just gonna go in.
12
00:00:24,041 --> 00:00:25,477
- No.
- 'Cause I-I don't want to wait here for the guy.
13
00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:27,479
I know. But I think we should...
14
00:00:27,522 --> 00:00:29,350
I really feel like we
need to stick together.
15
00:00:29,394 --> 00:00:31,135
- Huh?
- Dee, will you calm down? She got lost at the zoo
16
00:00:31,178 --> 00:00:32,919
- when we were seven. It's fine.
- I-I got trampled
17
00:00:32,962 --> 00:00:35,356
- by wild animals at the zoo when I was seven.
- Sheep.
18
00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:36,531
- At the petting zoo.
- Goats!
19
00:00:36,575 --> 00:00:38,272
- It was.
- You don't have to worry about that. Okay, guys?
20
00:00:38,316 --> 00:00:40,535
Because modern technology
has figured this out for us.
21
00:00:40,579 --> 00:00:42,711
We're all connected now.
22
00:00:42,755 --> 00:00:44,583
That is why I started
this group text chain.
23
00:00:44,626 --> 00:00:47,151
You know? So we can stay
in constant communication.
24
00:00:47,194 --> 00:00:48,543
I'm just gonna hit up Frank real quick,
25
00:00:48,587 --> 00:00:50,025
and we'll find out what's up.
26
00:00:50,197 --> 00:00:52,547
Guys, this way,
nobody is gonna get lost,
27
00:00:52,591 --> 00:00:54,984
because the texting keeps
us all on the same page.
28
00:00:55,028 --> 00:00:56,899
- Okay.
- Oh. Well, see, there you go.
29
00:00:56,943 --> 00:00:58,466
- Frank's five minutes away.
- Great. - No, no, no.
30
00:00:58,510 --> 00:01:00,120
No, everybody knows that "five min away"
31
00:01:00,164 --> 00:01:02,122
actually means 20 minutes away, okay?
32
00:01:02,166 --> 00:01:03,384
I'm not missing this live feeding, okay?
33
00:01:03,428 --> 00:01:05,256
Dude, why the big deal
about watching a-a lion
34
00:01:05,299 --> 00:01:06,300
eat a pile of dead meat?
35
00:01:06,344 --> 00:01:08,128
Oh, no, no, no. Wrong. Alive.
36
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Okay? Quite alive, I assure you.
37
00:01:10,304 --> 00:01:12,132
- That's a thing? Zoos do that?
- That's a thing.
38
00:01:12,176 --> 00:01:14,395
- _
- What's this?
39
00:01:14,439 --> 00:01:15,527
- Dennis has a boner? He does?
- Yes.
40
00:01:15,570 --> 00:01:17,572
- No, he doesn't.
- Well, goddamn it, he did.
41
00:01:17,616 --> 00:01:19,574
I did. It's gone now.
42
00:01:19,618 --> 00:01:21,402
Uh, do we have to do
this whole texting thing?
43
00:01:21,446 --> 00:01:23,752
- I mean, Dee's already annoying.
- She's always been annoying, Charlie.
44
00:01:23,796 --> 00:01:25,406
That's why we ditched
her when she was seven.
45
00:01:25,450 --> 00:01:27,626
- You... ditched me?
- Oh, shut up, Dee. Shut up!
46
00:01:27,669 --> 00:01:29,323
God, don't make this all about you.
47
00:01:29,367 --> 00:01:31,151
- I'm-I'm going in. I don't-I don't want to wait.
- Well, then I'm gonna
48
00:01:31,195 --> 00:01:33,066
- go with you, 'cause I don't want to get ditched again.
- Fine. Whatever.
49
00:01:33,110 --> 00:01:34,415
- Yeah, we'll catch up with you.
- Look, look, look.
50
00:01:34,459 --> 00:01:36,025
And just text us when he gets here.
51
00:01:36,069 --> 00:01:37,201
Who? Frank?
52
00:01:37,244 --> 00:01:39,855
Yes, Frank.
Who else would we be talking about?
53
00:01:39,899 --> 00:01:41,457
Oh, well, I just want to make sure
54
00:01:41,458 --> 00:01:42,758
- we're all on the same page.
- Oh, my God.
55
00:01:42,815 --> 00:01:44,599
Text us when Frank gets here!
56
00:01:45,243 --> 00:01:46,297
Huh?!
57
00:01:46,340 --> 00:01:48,168
- Frank. Text...
- Frank! What? Text us! Text us!
58
00:01:48,212 --> 00:01:50,214
Text us when Frank gets here!
59
00:01:50,257 --> 00:01:51,867
I can't... I can't... You know what?
60
00:01:51,911 --> 00:01:53,304
- I can't... Let me just... I'm-a...
- Text 'em now.
61
00:01:53,347 --> 00:01:55,436
I'm gonna text y... Check your phone!
62
00:01:55,480 --> 00:01:56,787
I'm gonna text you!
63
00:01:57,482 --> 00:01:59,484
_
64
00:02:24,084 --> 00:02:26,598
- God, I'm so thirsty.
- Yeah.
65
00:02:26,641 --> 00:02:28,034
Well, that's the cinnamon in the churro.
66
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- That'll make you thirsty.
- You know what?
67
00:02:30,079 --> 00:02:32,299
I'm gonna... I'm gonna update the group.
68
00:02:34,177 --> 00:02:35,563
Why are you texting that?
69
00:02:35,607 --> 00:02:39,350
Oh, well, I just wanted to, uh,
update the group on my status.
70
00:02:39,393 --> 00:02:41,308
Yeah, but that's, like,
a sexual thing, man.
71
00:02:41,352 --> 00:02:42,440
That means you're
thirsting for something,
72
00:02:42,483 --> 00:02:43,919
which means you're horny for it.
73
00:02:45,399 --> 00:02:47,227
Dennis is funny with the texts, man.
74
00:02:47,271 --> 00:02:48,328
Huh.
75
00:02:48,372 --> 00:02:50,622
Aw, come on. Too late, Dee.
76
00:02:50,665 --> 00:02:52,624
Goddamn it. Where is Frank?
77
00:02:52,667 --> 00:02:54,452
I'm just... You know what?
I'm just gonna text him again,
78
00:02:54,495 --> 00:02:55,888
'cause I don't know what
the hell's going on.
79
00:02:55,931 --> 00:02:57,455
Where you be?
80
00:02:58,422 --> 00:03:00,936
Huh. What does that mean? He's...
81
00:03:00,980 --> 00:03:03,591
- It's a dancing woman, a smiley face and a gun.
- Oh.
82
00:03:03,635 --> 00:03:05,158
I know what that means.
83
00:03:05,202 --> 00:03:08,161
He's stuck behind a woman driver
and he wants to shoot himself.
84
00:03:08,205 --> 00:03:09,728
- Oh.
- Mm-hmm.
85
00:03:09,771 --> 00:03:12,600
All right.
Well, I'm just gonna update everybody.
86
00:03:12,644 --> 00:03:14,602
- "Late."
- Yeah, but come on, man.
87
00:03:14,646 --> 00:03:16,865
You keep sending updates
with no new information.
88
00:03:16,909 --> 00:03:19,172
No, no, I'm just keeping
the whole group updated
89
00:03:19,216 --> 00:03:21,392
the way a meerkat might.
90
00:03:21,435 --> 00:03:22,958
Yeah, but a meerkat's
efficient in how it updates.
91
00:03:23,002 --> 00:03:24,308
You know what I mean?
Like, one little chirp,
92
00:03:24,351 --> 00:03:26,745
it can warn a whole group of,
like, an eagle or whatever.
93
00:03:26,788 --> 00:03:28,529
It doesn't need to, like, chirp over
94
00:03:28,573 --> 00:03:30,183
and over and over again, you know?
95
00:03:30,227 --> 00:03:32,533
I-I'm sorry, a-are you
schooling me on meerkat knowledge?
96
00:03:32,577 --> 00:03:34,492
- Seems like I have to.
- Oh, oh, is that right?
97
00:03:34,535 --> 00:03:35,841
Well, first of all, smarty-pants,
98
00:03:35,884 --> 00:03:37,712
they don't chirp. They chirrup.
99
00:03:37,756 --> 00:03:39,714
Oh, yeah? You think you know
a ton about the meerkat?
100
00:03:39,758 --> 00:03:41,890
Well, did you know that the
alpha pair will scent-mark
101
00:03:41,934 --> 00:03:43,675
the subordinate to show
that it's the leader?
102
00:03:43,718 --> 00:03:46,199
If they find the weak one,
they start pissing all over it.
103
00:03:46,243 --> 00:03:47,331
Yes. Of course I know that, Charlie.
104
00:03:47,374 --> 00:03:48,897
We watched the same documentary.
105
00:03:48,941 --> 00:03:51,117
By the way, I'm not the one
that passed out halfway through
106
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and scent-marked all over himself.
107
00:03:52,379 --> 00:03:54,207
- I drank a case of beer, man.
- So did I.
108
00:03:54,251 --> 00:03:56,383
I also drank a case of beer,
and I didn't piss myself.
109
00:03:56,427 --> 00:03:57,732
All I'm saying is you don't have
to text, like,
110
00:03:57,776 --> 00:03:59,370
every three seconds, you know?
111
00:03:59,560 --> 00:04:01,432
Aw, goddamn it.
Where is Frank? I just...
112
00:04:01,475 --> 00:04:02,955
- You're gonna text it again?
- Yeah, I'm gonna...
113
00:04:02,998 --> 00:04:04,696
- I just got to make sure everybody knows.
- It just means that you're...
114
00:04:04,739 --> 00:04:06,006
you want... you're horny. Oh.
115
00:04:06,350 --> 00:04:08,221
Ah, Dennis g... Dennis nailed it.
116
00:04:08,265 --> 00:04:10,441
- What-what does that mean?
- A peach is a butt.
117
00:04:10,484 --> 00:04:11,679
You're horny for a butt.
118
00:04:12,051 --> 00:04:14,227
- I'm-I'm horny for a butt?
- 'Cause you're gay. - FRANK: Hey-o!
119
00:04:14,271 --> 00:04:15,576
- Sorry I'm late. I had...
- Oh.
120
00:04:15,620 --> 00:04:18,013
...had to get a bag of bananas
so I could taunt the gorilla.
121
00:04:18,057 --> 00:04:20,015
It took you two hours to get bananas?
122
00:04:20,059 --> 00:04:22,148
Yeah, well, I was stuck
behind that woman driver.
123
00:04:22,191 --> 00:04:23,541
I thought I texted you that.
124
00:04:23,584 --> 00:04:24,585
Yeah, we got that.
125
00:04:24,629 --> 00:04:25,760
- Let's just go inside.
- I...
126
00:04:25,804 --> 00:04:27,675
Aw, c... Too late, Dee. Come on.
127
00:04:27,719 --> 00:04:29,329
- She sucks.
- Pick up the pace with it,
128
00:04:29,373 --> 00:04:30,896
- you know?
- She sucks.
129
00:04:30,939 --> 00:04:33,464
- I texted a peach.
- I already did that, Dee.
130
00:04:33,507 --> 00:04:35,466
Oh, yeah. There it is.
131
00:04:35,509 --> 00:04:37,163
You know, speed's very important
in comedy texting, Dee.
132
00:04:37,206 --> 00:04:39,948
If it looks like you thought about it
for a while, it's pretty lame.
133
00:04:39,992 --> 00:04:41,559
- Yeah. I know.
- Yeah.
134
00:04:41,602 --> 00:04:44,562
Ooh, you know what I'll do?
I'll do a fist. Right?
135
00:04:44,605 --> 00:04:46,703
So it's like he's thirsty
for a fist in the butt.
136
00:04:46,999 --> 00:04:49,131
I don't think anybody's gonna get that.
137
00:04:49,175 --> 00:04:51,438
You know? Plus, the moment
is long gone. I mean...
138
00:04:52,411 --> 00:04:53,440
Goddamn it. What...
139
00:04:53,484 --> 00:04:55,355
No, that... I was wrong.
That was funny. I...
140
00:04:55,399 --> 00:04:56,617
Oh, Dee.
141
00:04:56,661 --> 00:04:58,750
Well, you guys
are too fast on this thing.
142
00:04:58,880 --> 00:04:59,880
_
143
00:04:59,881 --> 00:05:01,448
- Don't answer. I got this.
- Let me just...
144
00:05:01,492 --> 00:05:03,276
- I can... No, no! No.
- But you're... Okay, go, go.
145
00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:04,886
I got it, I got it. Okay.
146
00:05:08,499 --> 00:05:10,370
What's a... funny thing I can...
147
00:05:10,414 --> 00:05:12,198
Oh, my God. Stop. I...
148
00:05:13,308 --> 00:05:14,808
- _
- _
149
00:05:14,809 --> 00:05:16,376
- Go.
- Well, I mean...
150
00:05:16,420 --> 00:05:17,508
- Look at that.
- Yeah, but...
151
00:05:17,551 --> 00:05:19,031
- Quick. Concise. Job done.
- Whatever.
152
00:05:19,074 --> 00:05:20,511
- Okay.
- No confusion.
153
00:05:23,557 --> 00:05:25,646
- All right. Sea lions, here we are.
- Okay.
154
00:05:25,690 --> 00:05:27,518
- All right. Where are they?
- Yeah.
155
00:05:27,561 --> 00:05:28,588
I don't know.
156
00:05:31,390 --> 00:05:34,624
- _
- _
157
00:05:34,699 --> 00:05:36,527
- Mm?
- Wait a minute.
158
00:05:36,570 --> 00:05:38,398
- He said in front. He's not in front.
- Eh.
159
00:05:38,442 --> 00:05:40,400
- Exhibit ent...
- Entrance?
160
00:05:40,444 --> 00:05:42,576
Oh, come on.
I got to go rescue these guys
161
00:05:42,620 --> 00:05:44,317
at the exhibit entrance? Excuse me, sir?
162
00:05:44,361 --> 00:05:45,884
Sir? Yeah.
163
00:05:45,927 --> 00:05:48,234
Um, h-how long do we have
till the lion begins feeding?
164
00:05:48,277 --> 00:05:49,670
Uh, we're five minutes out.
165
00:05:49,714 --> 00:05:51,672
Five minutes out? Okay.
Thank you, thank you. All right.
166
00:05:51,716 --> 00:05:53,282
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down.
I don't want to get lost.
167
00:05:53,326 --> 00:05:54,980
No, I will not adjust
my gait to accommodate
168
00:05:55,023 --> 00:05:56,895
your weird insecurities about sheep.
169
00:05:56,938 --> 00:05:58,679
It was a goat, and it was a lunatic.
170
00:05:58,723 --> 00:06:01,073
- Its eyes were going in every direction.
- Oh, were they? Fascinating.
171
00:06:01,116 --> 00:06:02,422
- Tell me more!
- He pounced on me,
172
00:06:02,466 --> 00:06:04,642
and then all of his friends
moved in for the kill.
173
00:06:04,685 --> 00:06:06,426
- Ooh! Terrifying. Ooh!
- Don't do that.
174
00:06:06,470 --> 00:06:07,527
It was so scary!
175
00:06:11,258 --> 00:06:12,258
_
176
00:06:12,301 --> 00:06:13,694
- Oh.
- What does that mean?
177
00:06:13,738 --> 00:06:16,001
Shit, he's-he's having fun without us.
178
00:06:16,044 --> 00:06:18,569
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Mac, that's sarcastic.
179
00:06:18,612 --> 00:06:21,485
If he was having fun,
it would have an exclamation point.
180
00:06:21,528 --> 00:06:23,574
I'm gonna de-escalate.
I'm gonna de-escalate.
181
00:06:23,617 --> 00:06:25,619
- Probably pissed he can't find us.
- Wait.
182
00:06:25,620 --> 00:06:26,920
_
183
00:06:28,709 --> 00:06:30,145
- Oh, shit.
- What does that mean?
184
00:06:30,189 --> 00:06:31,712
- Oh...
- That's not g... What it means is
185
00:06:31,756 --> 00:06:33,105
that he's already given the information
186
00:06:33,148 --> 00:06:34,585
and he doesn't want to
have to repeat himself.
187
00:06:34,628 --> 00:06:36,325
- So you got to scroll up and see.
- So, what... Scroll up.
188
00:06:36,369 --> 00:06:37,457
- Scroll up.
- Dennis hates to repeat himself.
189
00:06:37,501 --> 00:06:39,024
Well, let's find what he's...
190
00:06:39,067 --> 00:06:40,895
Ah.
191
00:06:40,939 --> 00:06:43,507
"Went to C lions."
192
00:06:43,550 --> 00:06:45,726
Oh. Shit.
193
00:06:45,770 --> 00:06:47,946
Dude, do you think
he went to the sea lions
194
00:06:47,989 --> 00:06:49,600
or he went to go see the lion?
195
00:06:49,643 --> 00:06:51,689
- Ooh...
- Oh. I don't know.
196
00:06:51,732 --> 00:06:53,212
I don't know. Let me ask.
197
00:06:53,213 --> 00:06:55,160
_
198
00:06:56,128 --> 00:06:57,477
Oh. Yeah, yeah, I...
199
00:06:57,521 --> 00:06:59,087
What'd you get wrong there?
200
00:06:59,131 --> 00:07:01,176
_
201
00:07:01,220 --> 00:07:02,613
_
202
00:07:02,656 --> 00:07:05,616
- Sea. Um...
- Dude, just let me, all right?
203
00:07:05,659 --> 00:07:06,834
- Well, it's-it's the predictive te...
- It's better...
204
00:07:06,878 --> 00:07:08,662
it's better with pictures.
205
00:07:10,664 --> 00:07:12,666
- Went to sea lion or...
- Lions.
206
00:07:13,885 --> 00:07:15,974
...see a lion?
207
00:07:16,017 --> 00:07:17,410
Right.
208
00:07:17,802 --> 00:07:18,802
_
209
00:07:18,803 --> 00:07:20,500
- Oh. He's mad.
- Oh, no, but... -Yeah.
210
00:07:20,544 --> 00:07:22,284
- No.
- No, it's got an exclamation point.
211
00:07:22,328 --> 00:07:23,851
- That means it's happy.
- No, it's all... - He's-he's screaming at you.
212
00:07:23,895 --> 00:07:25,505
- Yeah, it's all caps.
- It's all caps. -Screaming?
213
00:07:25,549 --> 00:07:27,420
- Yeah. That's not good.
- That's...
214
00:07:27,464 --> 00:07:29,248
- _
- What is this?
215
00:07:30,597 --> 00:07:32,077
- What-what is...
- What does that mean?
216
00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:34,209
What does that mean?
I don't know. Dee-Dee sucks, man.
217
00:07:34,253 --> 00:07:35,515
- I don't know.
- She-she sucks.
218
00:07:35,559 --> 00:07:36,599
All right, watch this.
219
00:07:37,386 --> 00:07:38,649
How about that with the eggplant?
220
00:07:38,692 --> 00:07:39,998
- Oh. Ooh. We're coming.
- All right, let's go.
221
00:07:40,041 --> 00:07:41,695
- All right, let's go.
- Yeah.
222
00:07:42,650 --> 00:07:44,089
Oh, yeah. "We're coming."
223
00:07:44,132 --> 00:07:45,525
Charlie made it work.
224
00:07:45,569 --> 00:07:46,657
- Oh.
- Nice. Nice.
225
00:07:46,700 --> 00:07:48,093
Idiots went to the wrong exhibit.
226
00:07:48,136 --> 00:07:49,442
All right, let-let-let's get back there.
227
00:07:49,486 --> 00:07:50,574
I don't want to miss anything. Come on.
228
00:07:50,617 --> 00:07:52,532
Okay. All right.
Well, stop walking like...
229
00:07:53,886 --> 00:07:55,230
Hey, pal. How's it going?
230
00:07:55,274 --> 00:07:56,754
Uh... where's the lion?
231
00:07:56,797 --> 00:07:58,103
- Are we close? Are we close?
- Oh.
232
00:07:58,146 --> 00:07:59,757
Yeah, you just missed it.
Yeah, he's fed.
233
00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:01,541
- He's back in his cage.
- Oh.
234
00:08:01,585 --> 00:08:03,804
He ate the kill?
He-he devoured the kill?
235
00:08:03,848 --> 00:08:05,806
- And I wasn't here?
- No, the feeding. Yeah, yeah.
236
00:08:05,850 --> 00:08:07,808
- You just missed it. It was awesome.
- No.
237
00:08:07,852 --> 00:08:09,897
Man, you said we were five minutes out.
238
00:08:09,941 --> 00:08:11,899
- Yeah, right.
- Yeah, but that was only ten minutes ago.
239
00:08:11,943 --> 00:08:13,466
C-Correct.
240
00:08:13,510 --> 00:08:14,685
No, but nobody does it that way.
241
00:08:14,728 --> 00:08:17,470
The five minutes means
20 minutes, man. You can't...
242
00:08:17,514 --> 00:08:18,993
- It's the whole reason I'm here!
- Uh...
243
00:08:19,037 --> 00:08:20,604
Yeah, I don't know what to tell you.
244
00:08:20,647 --> 00:08:22,736
Hey, man. You missed it. It was awesome.
245
00:08:22,780 --> 00:08:25,957
- Uh-huh. Yeah.
- Oh.
246
00:08:30,831 --> 00:08:32,572
- _
- Uh...
247
00:08:32,616 --> 00:08:34,705
Oh, oh. He's thanking us
for something, so that's good.
248
00:08:34,748 --> 00:08:36,402
Dude, how are you so bad at this, man?
249
00:08:36,445 --> 00:08:38,404
He probably missed the feeding.
He's blaming us.
250
00:08:38,447 --> 00:08:39,623
- Yeah.
- What?
251
00:08:39,666 --> 00:08:40,841
Shit. You think?
252
00:08:40,885 --> 00:08:42,626
- Yeah.
- Probably.
253
00:08:42,669 --> 00:08:44,149
No. Hold on.
254
00:08:44,192 --> 00:08:46,717
I'm just gonna send him
something real quick
255
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:48,066
- _
- and make sure everything's all good.
256
00:08:48,109 --> 00:08:49,415
- Mm.
- Oh, yeah.
257
00:08:49,458 --> 00:08:50,590
He says he's great, so we're fine.
258
00:08:51,334 --> 00:08:52,418
Dude.
259
00:08:52,461 --> 00:08:54,507
- He's screaming at you, man.
- Yeah.
260
00:08:54,551 --> 00:08:55,813
Screaming?
261
00:08:55,856 --> 00:08:57,292
Dude,
this whole texting thing is your idea,
262
00:08:57,336 --> 00:08:58,859
and you don't know how texting works?
263
00:08:58,903 --> 00:09:00,078
No, he's...
He just did it in all capitals.
264
00:09:00,121 --> 00:09:01,645
- That's screaming.
- That's a scream.
265
00:09:01,688 --> 00:09:03,864
- That's what you do when you're screaming.
- That's not scream...
266
00:09:03,908 --> 00:09:05,649
This is just all one
big misunderstanding
267
00:09:05,692 --> 00:09:08,086
due to the sea lions, all right?
I know what to do.
268
00:09:08,129 --> 00:09:09,783
I'm just gonna speak from the heart.
269
00:09:09,827 --> 00:09:11,959
Let me just text
s-something from the heart
270
00:09:12,003 --> 00:09:14,701
that he's gonna understand,
something a little bit...
271
00:09:14,745 --> 00:09:16,442
- All right.
- Mmm.
272
00:09:16,485 --> 00:09:17,835
Smell good.
273
00:09:17,878 --> 00:09:20,533
Not really normal to the... if I...
274
00:09:20,577 --> 00:09:22,970
- Come on.
- Is there a...?
275
00:09:23,014 --> 00:09:25,494
What rhymes with "limber"?
What rhymes with it?
276
00:09:26,713 --> 00:09:28,541
- Hinder.
- How do you not get "timber"?
277
00:09:28,585 --> 00:09:30,543
- Timber.
- Timber. And...
278
00:09:30,587 --> 00:09:32,023
- Oh. Salutations.
- And send.
279
00:09:32,066 --> 00:09:33,328
- Okay.
- Ah, dude.
280
00:09:33,372 --> 00:09:34,852
So, let's just give him a chance.
281
00:09:34,895 --> 00:09:36,201
He's probably gonna take
some time and respond to...
282
00:09:36,244 --> 00:09:37,550
- Oh!
- No, he responded.
283
00:09:37,594 --> 00:09:39,030
- Yeah.
- Uh, "K."
284
00:09:39,803 --> 00:09:42,076
- You're dead to him.
- Yeah, he's blowing you off, man.
285
00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:43,730
- "K" means "okay."
- He is pissed, dude. - "K."
286
00:09:43,774 --> 00:09:44,905
- Yeah.
- He is... - "K" means "okay."
287
00:09:44,949 --> 00:09:46,907
- No.
- He didn't even bother to read your thing!
288
00:09:46,951 --> 00:09:48,430
- He just sent "K."
- How could he possibly read that whole...?
289
00:09:48,474 --> 00:09:50,128
- He read it!
- He is pissed off at you.
290
00:09:50,171 --> 00:09:51,999
- Dennis is the fastest reader in America.
- Can we just...?
291
00:09:52,210 --> 00:09:53,261
Oh, now he's calling me.
292
00:09:53,305 --> 00:09:54,567
- He's calling?
- Oh, good. Good, good, yeah.
293
00:09:54,611 --> 00:09:56,047
You could just text, but no.
Call me, call me!
294
00:09:56,090 --> 00:09:58,571
- I want to hear from you.
- Okay. You're gonna like this.
295
00:09:59,259 --> 00:10:00,746
_
296
00:10:00,747 --> 00:10:03,097
- Uh, what is that?
- I called him the "F" word.
297
00:10:03,141 --> 00:10:04,568
It's a bundle of sticks.
298
00:10:05,273 --> 00:10:07,798
No. Dee, no. You can't do that.
That's not funny.
299
00:10:07,841 --> 00:10:08,912
Okay, y-you can't say that word.
300
00:10:08,955 --> 00:10:10,148
I didn't say the word.
I did the pictures.
301
00:10:10,191 --> 00:10:11,715
But it doesn't matter.
That's offensive, okay?
302
00:10:11,758 --> 00:10:14,065
And it's off-putting,
and it's not a good color on you.
303
00:10:14,108 --> 00:10:15,806
Blue? You're gonna go blue?
Don't go blue.
304
00:10:15,849 --> 00:10:17,634
That tells me that you're
just not funny at all.
305
00:10:17,721 --> 00:10:18,721
_
306
00:10:19,554 --> 00:10:20,593
- Yeah.
- What?
307
00:10:20,637 --> 00:10:22,943
Frank nailing it again.
308
00:10:24,945 --> 00:10:26,468
What's so funny about what you did?
309
00:10:26,512 --> 00:10:28,470
Well, it works on two levels, Dee.
310
00:10:28,514 --> 00:10:29,950
It-it says that, uh, Frank's on fire
311
00:10:29,994 --> 00:10:31,952
and also that, uh,
Mac is a raging flamer,
312
00:10:31,996 --> 00:10:33,954
which is still totally acceptable,
for now.
313
00:10:33,998 --> 00:10:36,130
I have an idea. I have an idea.
Check this out.
314
00:10:38,785 --> 00:10:39,830
What is that?
315
00:10:39,873 --> 00:10:42,180
I'm joking that maybe we
should get the Jew lawyer
316
00:10:42,223 --> 00:10:44,922
and have an arbitration about
what words we can and can't use
317
00:10:44,965 --> 00:10:46,967
to describe Mac's sexuality.
318
00:10:49,796 --> 00:10:51,624
Cool! Super funny
319
00:10:51,668 --> 00:10:53,539
and not the least bit anti-Semitic.
320
00:10:53,582 --> 00:10:55,933
You get it! You get it.
321
00:10:55,976 --> 00:10:57,108
Should we just get out of here?
322
00:10:57,151 --> 00:10:58,631
- Let's do that.
- Yeah. Well, hold on.
323
00:10:59,446 --> 00:11:00,764
Well, okay, but hang on.
324
00:11:00,807 --> 00:11:02,635
Wait, Dennis. Hey, excuse me.
325
00:11:02,679 --> 00:11:04,202
Whoa! Whoa, whoa. Dennis, wait, wait,
326
00:11:04,245 --> 00:11:06,857
wait, wait, wait, wait.
Okay. Where'd you go?
327
00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:08,859
Where'd you go? Oh, no.
328
00:11:08,902 --> 00:11:10,991
Oh, no.
329
00:11:11,035 --> 00:11:12,601
Dennis!
330
00:11:14,255 --> 00:11:17,084
Why won't Dennis answer my calls?
331
00:11:17,128 --> 00:11:19,391
Dude, who cares?
Man, I'm so sick of this texting shit.
332
00:11:19,434 --> 00:11:22,002
- Come on.
- It's like we're not even enjoying the zoo, man.
333
00:11:22,046 --> 00:11:23,569
- No see no animals.
- "Missed your calls."
334
00:11:23,612 --> 00:11:25,005
- That's what it is.
- Jesus Christ.
335
00:11:25,049 --> 00:11:26,106
- Oh, dude, he...
- He missed them.
336
00:11:26,150 --> 00:11:27,747
- He's lying to you.
- He's avoiding you.
337
00:11:27,791 --> 00:11:29,227
Look, can we just go see the meerkats?
338
00:11:29,270 --> 00:11:30,445
Please? Let's just drop it.
339
00:11:30,489 --> 00:11:31,795
We'll go to the meerkats.
We'll have fun.
340
00:11:31,838 --> 00:11:33,971
I want to go taunt the gorillas
before they get fed
341
00:11:34,014 --> 00:11:35,320
and they're not hungry anymore.
342
00:11:35,363 --> 00:11:37,365
Why do you even want
to taunt a gorilla? What is that?
343
00:11:37,409 --> 00:11:38,453
Oh, it's hysterical.
344
00:11:38,497 --> 00:11:40,629
I sit there, eat a banana real slow,
345
00:11:40,673 --> 00:11:41,979
and he comes up to the glass,
346
00:11:42,022 --> 00:11:44,938
and he's banging on the glass
like the dumb ape he is.
347
00:11:44,982 --> 00:11:48,376
It will bang its hands bloody
trying to get the banana.
348
00:11:48,420 --> 00:11:49,682
How is that funny?
349
00:11:49,726 --> 00:11:52,685
It's funny
'cause he can't get the banana.
350
00:11:52,729 --> 00:11:53,991
All right, dude. You know what?
351
00:11:54,034 --> 00:11:55,470
Go ahead.
Go taunt the gorillas, all right?
352
00:11:55,514 --> 00:11:57,472
But I'm going to the meerkats.
I'm not going with you.
353
00:11:57,516 --> 00:11:59,387
Suit yourself.
354
00:11:59,925 --> 00:12:01,812
All right, can we just go
to the meer...? What are you doing now?
355
00:12:01,855 --> 00:12:02,856
- What is this?
- I'm just sending one last text.
356
00:12:02,869 --> 00:12:04,349
You're gonna send another gi...
Another gi...
357
00:12:04,392 --> 00:12:06,655
- Okay, it's gonna take a little bit of... Oh!
- Oh.
358
00:12:06,699 --> 00:12:08,005
Oh, he read that so fast.
359
00:12:08,048 --> 00:12:09,397
- He didn't read it at all!
- I think...
360
00:12:09,441 --> 00:12:11,051
Dude, he doesn't want to talk to you!
361
00:12:11,095 --> 00:12:12,836
Can we just please
go to the meerkats, dude?
362
00:12:12,879 --> 00:12:13,937
No. You know what I'm gonna do?
363
00:12:13,980 --> 00:12:16,143
I'm just gonna hang out
in the bathroom for a while.
364
00:12:16,187 --> 00:12:18,493
You're gonna hang out in the bathroom?
365
00:12:18,537 --> 00:12:20,844
- Yeah, for a while.
- Why?
366
00:12:20,887 --> 00:12:22,715
It's a gay thing,
so you really wouldn't understand.
367
00:12:22,759 --> 00:12:24,151
- What?
- Yeah, you know, it's, like,
368
00:12:24,195 --> 00:12:26,284
bathrooms at zoos are, like,
369
00:12:26,327 --> 00:12:28,808
big Grindr spots for closeted dads.
370
00:12:28,852 --> 00:12:30,679
Dude, I know what's up here.
You're ditching me, man.
371
00:12:30,723 --> 00:12:32,029
You're-you're ditching me
372
00:12:32,072 --> 00:12:33,944
so you can go beg forgiveness
from Dennis, dude.
373
00:12:33,987 --> 00:12:35,859
- It's so pathetic, man.
- No, I am not, Charlie.
374
00:12:35,902 --> 00:12:37,643
- It's so pathetic, dude. Dude, you're no meerkat.
- I am not!
375
00:12:37,686 --> 00:12:39,514
- I'm not doing th... I am a... Don't...
- I'll tell you...
376
00:12:39,558 --> 00:12:40,864
You're not a meerkat.
377
00:12:40,907 --> 00:12:42,169
- Don't be...
- Meerkats stick together, Mac!
378
00:12:42,213 --> 00:12:43,431
Don't be like that, Charlie.
379
00:12:43,475 --> 00:12:45,172
Of course I'm a meerkat, all right?
380
00:12:45,216 --> 00:12:46,957
Bullshit! Then why
aren't you hanging with me?!
381
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,089
I just want to go meet
my needs real quick...
382
00:12:49,133 --> 00:12:50,743
What about the needs of the group, Mac?
383
00:12:50,787 --> 00:12:52,745
I'm gonna meet the needs
of the group, Charlie, after that,
384
00:12:52,789 --> 00:12:53,964
but I just feel like... Are you...
385
00:12:54,007 --> 00:12:55,269
are you pissing on me?!
386
00:12:55,313 --> 00:12:56,967
- Yeah.
- Oh, uh...
387
00:12:57,010 --> 00:12:58,272
Direct eye contact?
388
00:12:58,316 --> 00:12:59,373
Yeah!
389
00:13:02,886 --> 00:13:05,105
- Your neck's very high.
- Yeah.
390
00:13:05,149 --> 00:13:06,759
- Okay, I'm done.
- Oh.
391
00:13:09,109 --> 00:13:10,937
Don't look at me.
392
00:13:18,350 --> 00:13:20,119
_
393
00:13:24,464 --> 00:13:26,088
_
394
00:13:26,927 --> 00:13:28,166
_
395
00:13:28,894 --> 00:13:30,598
_
396
00:13:33,679 --> 00:13:35,494
_
397
00:13:43,013 --> 00:13:45,015
Goddamn it!
398
00:13:49,392 --> 00:13:50,408
_
399
00:13:56,749 --> 00:13:57,961
_
400
00:14:01,858 --> 00:14:03,163
Dennis.
401
00:14:03,207 --> 00:14:04,817
Y-You came to talk to me.
402
00:14:04,861 --> 00:14:06,732
Unless this is, like,
a Grindr situation?
403
00:14:06,775 --> 00:14:07,864
I came to piss.
404
00:14:08,995 --> 00:14:10,823
Look, man, I know that you're mad at me,
405
00:14:10,867 --> 00:14:12,477
but when you said
that thing about "C lions,"
406
00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:14,958
- Charlie was like...
- Oh, that's a lie.
407
00:14:15,001 --> 00:14:17,177
That's just a lie,
because Charlie can't read.
408
00:14:17,221 --> 00:14:19,919
All right, it was all my fault,
but it was an honest mistake.
409
00:14:19,963 --> 00:14:21,181
One thing, Mac.
410
00:14:21,225 --> 00:14:23,923
I mean, I came here
to see one goddamn thing,
411
00:14:23,967 --> 00:14:25,969
and you ruined it with
your texting nonsense.
412
00:14:26,012 --> 00:14:27,971
Yes, but I have some new information.
413
00:14:28,014 --> 00:14:30,625
There's going to be
another live feeding.
414
00:14:32,889 --> 00:14:35,065
- Go on.
- Yeah.
415
00:14:35,108 --> 00:14:37,154
A goat is to be sacrificed.
416
00:14:37,197 --> 00:14:39,721
I heard an employee in here.
He was talking about it.
417
00:14:39,765 --> 00:14:43,203
- Now, I offered to blow him, but he was like, "Nah, I'm..."
- Goat?
418
00:14:45,423 --> 00:14:48,034
That's some Jurassic Park shit.
I like it.
419
00:14:50,471 --> 00:14:51,777
But if you're gonna join me,
420
00:14:51,820 --> 00:14:53,866
you must follow my every command
because, I swear to God,
421
00:14:53,910 --> 00:14:55,868
if you make me miss this one, too,
422
00:14:55,912 --> 00:14:59,350
I will feed you to the lions myself.
423
00:14:59,393 --> 00:15:01,134
Okay.
424
00:15:02,657 --> 00:15:04,137
Are you pissing on me?
425
00:15:04,181 --> 00:15:06,313
Yeah.
426
00:15:08,958 --> 00:15:10,578
You guys grinding?
427
00:15:10,622 --> 00:15:11,984
- Ah.
- _
428
00:15:14,278 --> 00:15:15,975
Hey! Where you a...
429
00:15:16,019 --> 00:15:18,804
Where you at, you big, dumb baboon?
430
00:15:20,341 --> 00:15:21,807
Huh?
431
00:15:21,850 --> 00:15:23,026
Uh, excuse me.
432
00:15:23,069 --> 00:15:26,116
Excuse me. Where's the, uh...
433
00:15:26,159 --> 00:15:28,988
- Where's the big animal? The... Uh.
- _
434
00:15:29,032 --> 00:15:31,338
Ah. Annoying bird.
435
00:15:31,382 --> 00:15:32,818
- The what?
- Nah.
436
00:15:32,861 --> 00:15:35,038
No, it's just the phones are...
they're so distracting.
437
00:15:35,081 --> 00:15:38,128
Now, where's the big, dumb,
you know, the ape, the animal?
438
00:15:38,171 --> 00:15:39,259
The-the-the silverback?
439
00:15:39,303 --> 00:15:40,782
Yeah, the dummy. Yeah.
440
00:15:40,826 --> 00:15:42,132
Yeah. Uh, well, that's Andy. Uh, Andy...
441
00:15:42,175 --> 00:15:44,047
- Andy the dummy.
- Yeah.
442
00:15:44,090 --> 00:15:45,918
- He can be pretty shy.
- Yeah... He can be... Yeah.
443
00:15:45,962 --> 00:15:47,050
So, yeah. So, sometimes you have to
444
00:15:47,093 --> 00:15:48,703
- look to find him 'cause...
- Ah... Oh, excuse me.
445
00:15:48,747 --> 00:15:51,924
- _
- What does this bitch...
446
00:15:51,968 --> 00:15:54,057
What is she talking about?
447
00:15:54,100 --> 00:15:56,276
I...
448
00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:59,062
Hey! Hey!
449
00:15:59,105 --> 00:16:00,150
Hey!
450
00:16:00,193 --> 00:16:02,369
You big, dumb... Where's my bananas?!
451
00:16:02,413 --> 00:16:04,719
Son of a...
452
00:16:04,763 --> 00:16:06,156
You bastard!
453
00:16:06,199 --> 00:16:07,505
Give me those bananas!
454
00:16:19,256 --> 00:16:21,301
Come on.
455
00:16:22,781 --> 00:16:26,685
_
456
00:16:27,857 --> 00:16:29,802
_
457
00:16:30,908 --> 00:16:32,303
_
458
00:16:35,254 --> 00:16:37,756
_
459
00:16:40,270 --> 00:16:42,050
_
460
00:16:45,151 --> 00:16:47,153
Learn to read, idiot.
461
00:16:48,401 --> 00:16:49,402
_
462
00:16:55,292 --> 00:16:56,554
Goddamn it!
463
00:16:57,214 --> 00:16:58,251
Okay.
464
00:16:58,295 --> 00:17:00,775
So, this should be getting
started any minute.
465
00:17:00,819 --> 00:17:02,995
I'm gonna drop a quick pin
because I think the guys
466
00:17:03,039 --> 00:17:04,344
- are gonna want to see this.
- Yeah.
467
00:17:04,388 --> 00:17:06,259
You know, I got to say,
something feels a little off
468
00:17:06,303 --> 00:17:08,914
to me a-about all this.
W-Why are we in the exhibit?
469
00:17:08,957 --> 00:17:10,220
That doesn't feel safe, you know.
470
00:17:10,263 --> 00:17:13,310
And why are a bunch of children
in the exhibit as well?
471
00:17:13,353 --> 00:17:15,964
Yes, that does seem
a little strange, doesn't it?
472
00:17:16,008 --> 00:17:18,271
Hi-hi. Uh, sir? Excuse me.
473
00:17:18,315 --> 00:17:20,360
Uh, yeah.
474
00:17:20,404 --> 00:17:22,275
When is the goat to be slaughtered?
475
00:17:22,319 --> 00:17:24,234
Excuse me?
476
00:17:24,814 --> 00:17:27,150
When is the goat
going to be fed to the lion?
477
00:17:27,193 --> 00:17:30,022
Uh, my friend engaged in
a sexual exchange for information
478
00:17:30,066 --> 00:17:32,372
and was told there was
going to be a sacrifice.
479
00:17:32,416 --> 00:17:34,766
Well, he tried but I said no.
480
00:17:34,809 --> 00:17:36,159
- Oh, that's...
- It's not what you think.
481
00:17:36,202 --> 00:17:38,770
I think there's been
some miscommunication.
482
00:17:38,813 --> 00:17:40,380
This is the-the petting zoo.
483
00:17:40,424 --> 00:17:43,514
We're feeding the goats.
We're not slaughtering them.
484
00:17:47,561 --> 00:17:50,260
Uh...
485
00:17:50,303 --> 00:17:52,088
- Dennis, I, uh...
- It's fine.
486
00:17:54,046 --> 00:17:56,266
No, it's fine, Mac.
487
00:17:56,309 --> 00:17:58,833
This is all fine.
488
00:17:58,877 --> 00:18:01,836
- Why don't we just go to the next exhibit.
- Oh.
489
00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:04,317
Cool. Yeah, I thought you were
actually gonna be upset with me.
490
00:18:06,667 --> 00:18:08,191
Dennis?
491
00:18:10,106 --> 00:18:12,412
Dennis?!
492
00:18:12,456 --> 00:18:15,763
Dennis? Dennis!
493
00:18:19,500 --> 00:18:21,112
_
494
00:18:23,986 --> 00:18:25,643
- Here you go, ma'am. Have fun.
- Huh? What?
495
00:18:25,686 --> 00:18:28,080
- No. What's this?
- Okay, kids.
496
00:18:28,124 --> 00:18:29,416
Let's go!
497
00:18:30,213 --> 00:18:31,431
What?
498
00:18:53,497 --> 00:18:55,455
No, get away from me.
499
00:18:57,936 --> 00:19:00,417
No. God, please help me!
500
00:19:07,611 --> 00:19:08,938
_
501
00:19:08,939 --> 00:19:10,746
_
502
00:19:13,864 --> 00:19:14,947
_
503
00:19:17,792 --> 00:19:19,317
_
504
00:19:20,659 --> 00:19:21,855
_
505
00:19:24,089 --> 00:19:25,891
_
506
00:20:28,548 --> 00:20:30,507
- Oh!
- Meerkats! Meerkats!
507
00:20:30,550 --> 00:20:32,291
- That was amazing!
- I knew what you were saying
508
00:20:32,335 --> 00:20:33,901
- by the looks on your faces.
- Yeah. -Yeah.
509
00:20:33,945 --> 00:20:36,164
Hey, guys. I-I felt connected
to you for the first time today.
510
00:20:36,208 --> 00:20:38,210
Yeah, see, that's what it's all about.
511
00:20:38,254 --> 00:20:39,864
- You know what I mean?
- Dude, Charlie,
512
00:20:39,907 --> 00:20:42,301
that smile said a thousand words,
you know?
513
00:20:42,345 --> 00:20:43,650
It was like, "I told you so,"
514
00:20:43,694 --> 00:20:46,218
but also, "I forgive you."
I understood everything.
515
00:20:46,262 --> 00:20:48,089
- Yeah, I forgave you.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I could tell, Mac,
516
00:20:48,133 --> 00:20:50,309
by the look on your face,
that you really were sorry
517
00:20:50,353 --> 00:20:51,789
- about me having to miss that lion feeding.
- Mm-hmm.
518
00:20:51,832 --> 00:20:53,356
And I-I really appreciated that, bro.
519
00:20:53,399 --> 00:20:54,574
See, that's the thing, you know?
520
00:20:54,618 --> 00:20:56,228
Like, even though
we were texting all day
521
00:20:56,272 --> 00:20:57,577
and we were in constant communication,
522
00:20:57,621 --> 00:20:59,927
I don't really think we
were communicating at all.
523
00:20:59,971 --> 00:21:01,668
- That's a real form of communi...
- Yeah, I am getting one, though.
524
00:21:01,712 --> 00:21:03,366
- Yeah, me, too.
- I do want to... Bowling ball,
525
00:21:03,409 --> 00:21:05,498
water, eggplant, queen...
526
00:21:05,542 --> 00:21:07,544
Oh, Frank is pissing on Mac. Very good.
527
00:21:07,587 --> 00:21:08,601
- Yeah.
- Yes, I am.
528
00:21:08,645 --> 00:21:09,720
- Yeah, yeah.
- Come on.
529
00:21:09,763 --> 00:21:11,243
- Oh, he is!
- He is for real.
530
00:21:11,287 --> 00:21:12,723
- Nice one.
- That's a great text, Dee. - Thank you.
531
00:21:12,766 --> 00:21:14,464
- Oh, ah... You want a great text? I'm gonna...
- _
532
00:21:14,507 --> 00:21:16,335
- No, no, Dee... Dee beat you to it.
- Yeah.
533
00:21:16,792 --> 00:21:18,026
Huh? What do you think?
534
00:21:18,061 --> 00:21:19,469
Well, then,
I'm gonna do one from the heart.
535
00:21:19,512 --> 00:21:21,253
- I'm gonna do one from the heart.
- You liked it for real?
536
00:21:21,297 --> 00:21:22,472
Oh, Mac, I like that. What is that?
537
00:21:22,515 --> 00:21:24,735
I mean, they are... they're just funny.
538
00:22:06,926 --> 00:22:08,966
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
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