Original subtitles

- ♪

- Hey, Stuart, happy Cousins Day.

This one's extra special.

- Yeah, our first Cousins Day all together.

You and I are going to celebrate by pranking each other, right?

- We are? I totally forgot.

Care for a soda?

- Okay.

You're gonna have to do better than that.

- Alright, I'll get you later.

- And I'll get you later, when you least expect it.

First, I gotta make these seaweed muffins.

- Ew. Are you pranking yourself?

- No, they're for Ivy,

I'm making her favorite breakfast

as a special treat for Cousins Day.

- And then the muffins are going to explode?

- No, I keep telling you, it's not a prank.

Ugh, disgusting.

Ivy's going to love it!

But I need to get the seaweed taste out of my mouth.

- [spraying]

- [laughs] Gotcha! I shook them all!

Happy Cousins Day!

- Happy Cousins Day.

- ♪

- Check out what I made Stuart for Cousins Day.

- Aw, it's a...what is it?

- It's a Doggsie's hot dog holder.

You know how Stuart always gets the Doggsie's triple pack?

Well now, he can old one on each hand and set one

on little Doggsie.

- Did you really get him hot dogs for breakfast?

- These are the breakfast hot dogs.

See? The buns are actually pancakes.

And they dyed the syrup to look like mustard.

Oh. Disgusting. Stuart's gonna love it.

- And I know I'm going to love whatever you get me

for Besties Day.

- You gave me a list of exactly what you wanted.

- Yeah, that's why I know I'm going to love it.

- Oh, no, they forgot the Terrier Tots.

I have to go back.

I really want this Cousins Day to be perfect.

- Ha! Clavicle, that's doctor talk for collar bone.

- Clark. Why are you labeling my son?

- Well, I have a lot of studying to do for my pre-med classes,

so I'm using Leaf as a visual aid.

Orbital socket.

That's doctor talk for-- - Eye hole!

And I need mine uncovered, because Stuart could prank me

any minute!

- Ugh. Can't believe how much you need to know

just to be a doctor.

- You know I had to memorize a lot of complicated stuff

at law school, I'm really good at studying.

Let's go get your textbooks

and I'll show you some study tips.

Excuse me, son.

- Wait. Hey, do I still have to keep these sticky notes on?

- [thud] - Ow!

I stubbed my...

phalange!

- ♪

- It was really nice of Doggsie's

to give me all this extra food

since they messed up the order the first time.

- And I love these bows you got to surprise me

for Besties Day.

- You already know what they are,

so what's the surprise?

- How you're gonna wrap 'em.

- So you don't wanna go to the batting cages.

- Can't, I'm hanging out with Ivy, it's Cousins Day.

- And Dental Hygiene Day.

My mom's a dentist so she always makes a big deal about it.

The "flosster" bunny comes and brings us sugar-free candy.

- Wow, so I guess it's a big day for both of us.

Anyway, everything's almost ready for Ivy's breakfast.

Just need to get out the yogurt treats.

- Ugh! Why do these muffins smell like my dirty fish tank?

- It's healthy, you wouldn't understand.

Even I don't really understand.

- And Millie was like-- - [crashing]

- [items falling]

- Is this what's supposed to happen on Cousins Day?

- I got a great picture of you guys.

- Don't post that! - We both look terrible!

- Oops, sorry, I have a very quick post reflex.

- Well, take it down. - No.

It's already got 50 likes!

Fifty-one.

- ♪

♪ Hey, hey, wee!

♪

♪ Hey, hey, wee! ♪

- ♪

- Thanks for helping us clean up, guys.

- On the plus side, no one has to eat

these disgusting fish tank muffins.

- Well, this wasn't exactly a great start to Cousins Day,

but we can still do something fun.

- Yeah, and I've still got a gift for you!

- You do? I mean,

I have a gift for you, too, of course.

- Ooh, what is it? - I'm not just gonna spoil it!

I'm gonna give it to her later.

After we, uh, we take a moment to...build the anticipation!

Hey, why don't you guys go out to the garage

and, uh...anticipate.

- It's a good thing you got Ivy a gift,

'cause if she got you a gift and you didn't get her anything,

that would be awkward.

So what did you get her?

- Besides the breakfast that's in the garbage? Nothing.

- Oh, so yeah, awkward.

- Do you think I should put Stuart's gift in a box,

or just tie a ribbon around it?

- Wait, that's the whole present?

- Do you think I should've gotten something bigger?

- Well, I mean, everything Stuart does

is splashy and flashy, but this is your thing,

small and...something that rhymes with small.

- This is our big day.

I don't want Stuart to think I don't care.

I wish I knew what he got me.

- I can find out, I'll just text Jackson,

he can't keep a secret.

He totally told me what you were getting me for Besties Day.

- Didn't you tell him?

- But he still shouldn't have told me.

- Hey, what says "Happy Cousins Day" better

than a gently used beanbag chair?

May or may not be haunted.

- I got a text from Gemma,

she was fishing to see what you got for Ivy.

- Don't worry, I told her you got her something amazing.

- Why would you say that?

- Well, if that beanbag chair really is haunted,

then it's kind of amazing.

- What am I gonna do?! I've got nothing!

- I didn't want you to look bad, you know Ivy

got you something super thoughtful, I mean, it's Ivy.

- Yeah, he got you something unbelievable.

I mean, it's Stuart.

- BOTH: I gotta go bigger!

- ♪

- So, what did you say was the hardest thing to remember

from your biology class?

- I don't know! I don't remember!

- Parts of the cell. - See?! I can't even remember

what I can't remember. [groans] I'm doomed.

- Don't worry, I have an easy way

to help you memorize everything.

I made a model of the cell...

using...food.

The egg is the cell, the white part is the cytoplasm,

the yoke is the nucleus,

and these peppers... are the mitochondria.

Any questions?

- Just one. Can we add mushrooms?

- What's with the hockey gear, son?

You don't have a game today.

- You never know when you might encounter the unexpected.

Like a prank. Ha!

Hmmm. Nothing.

I guess I'll just have some peanut butter.

Stuart knows I love peanut butter!

Ha!

- Looks like peanut butter.

- Well played, Stuart, well played.

You're gonna make me wait.

- Alright, let's get back to your biology, Clark.

Wait, what happened to the cell?

- I ate it. But don't worry, I memorized it.

The peppers were the, um...

You're gonna have to make another one.

- ♪

- This was the best gift I could think of on short notice.

It was either this or some haunted beanbag chair

my neighbor's giving away.

- Making a video game obstacle course is genius.

Stuart's gonna love it.

- Yeah, Prehistoric Panic: T-Rex Attack

is one of his favorite games,

and I also got him the Raging Raptor Expansion pack.

- You are crushing Cousins Day.

- What's that? - I don't know.

There's a lot of pieces here, we probably don't need them all.

- I was talking about this note.

"Here's a treasure hunt for Cousins Day,

"follow this hint, it'll show you the way.

"This clue's in a spot that's easy to find,

"just go to the place where we throw the orange rinds."

- Oh, it's a riddle! I'm good at these.

Orange rinds. Orange rinds.

Yeah, I'm not good at these.

- He means where we throw the food waste.

The compost bin!

Wait, if I go on this treasure hunt,

then I won't have enough time to put together

Stuart's surprise.

- Don't worry, I got it.

- Are you sure? 'Cause there's a lot of stuff to put together.

- Oh, please, I'm a wiz with the squeezy-turn-turn.

- Uh, you mean the wrench?

- It doesn't matter what you call it,

what matters is I know how to use it.

Now, where do I plug it in?

- Ooh, the next clue! [screams]

- Ivy?

- Found the next clue.

Looks like you also found a new hat.

- Oh. And a new perfume.

- I know this was a rough start but I promise

that the rest of the hunt is going to be super fun.

- Yeah, and when we get back,

I've got a great surprise for you, too.

Today is gonna be a great Cousins Day.

- Yeah. Let me help you up, this is gonna be the best day--

whoa! ...ever.

- Are you chewing on my foot?

- STUART: No. Are you brushing my ear with your tail?

- I don't have a tail.

- BOTH: [scream] - Rat! [screaming]

- You guessed it, the next stop is Juiced Up.

I'm glad my clue wasn't too hard.

- "Our favorite place to slurp, although sometimes

it makes me burp."

Where else would it be?

- I burp at a lot of places.

- Oh, Ivy, Stuart. I see she got the clue.

Happy Cousins Day.

- Thanks, Denise. Where is everyone?

- Well, they're making some repairs at the gym above us

and it's been a little noisy.

- [rumbling noise]

- So everything today is 15% off!

- Okay, Ivy, the next clue is hidden somewhere around here.

I'll just give you a hint, it's--

- [rumbling noise]

- Whoa, that's really loud.

Okay, the clue is-- - [rumbling noise]

- Okay, the clue's under the table.

- Got it, let's go!

- MALE VOICE: Moose. Moose. Moose. Moose. Moose.

- Oh, no. Mall lockdown, another moose on the lose.

- [screaming]

- [moose growling]

- I think you should probably stay in here

until they round it up.

- How long do you think that'll take?

- Last time it was only a few hours

before they caught the moose.

- [rumbling noise] - [ceramic breaking]

- Looks like they jack-hammered a hole through our ceiling.

Okay.

Juice is now 25% off.

- MALE VOICE ON PHOINE: Moose. Moose. Moose.

- So...dumbbells or moose?

- Moose?

- [moose growls]

- Dumbbells?

- [rumbling noise] - [items breaking]

- Moose!

- ♪

- Sorry the moose ate your clue.

- That's okay, it distracted him long enough

for us to make a run for it.

- I'll just tell you what the clue was.

A place where everything grows

and it is very pleasant to your nose.

- Um...a restaurant?

- What grows in a restaurant? - Your appetite.

You know, when you get hungry.

- No. Okay, forget it.

I'll just take the blindfold off.

- Oh, the community garden!

- And I planted a plot just for you.

- [gasps] You did all this?!

- He had a little help.

To be clear, the help was from me.

I just want some credit, this is a lot of work.

- This is amazing, thank you, Stuart.

- JACKSON: [clears throat] - And Jackson!

Are those sunflowers? - Yeah, aren't they beautiful?

And they smell great. - No, Stuart! [sneezes]

I'm allergic! [sneezes]

- Oh! I had no idea, I'm sorry!

- [sneezing] - [buzzing]

- What's that buzzing?

- Oh, be careful, there's a beehive over there.

- Bees?! [screaming]

[screaming]

- Hey, guys, do you want me to post this picture?

- IVY: [sneezing] - BOTH: [screaming]

- I'll take that as a yes!

- ♪

- Look. Clark, you're perfectly capable of memorizing this

and I think I have a great way to help.

Leaf is here to assist.

- Which may or may not be Stuart's prank.

- It's not.

- I don't have time for pranks, nephew,

I'm gonna fail this biology class.

- Ah-uh. Stay positive. - Okay.

I'm positive I'm gonna fail this biology class.

- No, you're not.

We're gonna use some classical conditioning

to help retrain your brain to focus on the correct answers.

- Classical conditioning is what I used to train Arthur

to do all his tricks.

- Okay, well, I'm desperate, so, let's try it.

- Now, "Enzymes and antibodies are both types of what?"

- Protein. - Good job.

- Here's a marshmallow. Good uncle Clark.

- I like this. Ask me something else.

- "When a human cell divides, it's called what?"

- Uh...two cells. - Wrong, mitosis.

- Bad joke.

- [sputters]

Is this what you do to Arthur when he does something wrong?

- Of course not!

I would never treat Arthur like that!

- [doorbell rings] - [gasps]

Ooh, that must be the mail!

- [yells]

What's that for?

- 'Cause you're a terrible teacher. Bad Lewis.

- Yes, a package, this must be Stuart's prank.

Ha! A pineapple.

Wait, it's not doing anything. Nothing's happening!

The pineapple's not pranking me!

Still doesn't work.

- Uh, that pineapple's from my Fruit of the Month Club.

- Oh. My bad.

- ♪

- ♪

- I feel awful that you're even giving me a present

after how badly mine went wrong.

- Don't worry, Stuart, my real present will be

seeing how happy you are once you receive

your Cousins Day gift.

It's Prehistoric Panic: T-Rex Attack in real life.

- Whoa, Ivy.

Is that the pterodactyl tunnel of terror?

- Yep, and we even made the lava pit leap

from level five.

- Nice!

And I love the big dinos.

[squeaks]

- You better get running before Dino Gemma catches you.

- GEMMA: Rawr. I mean... - [dinosaur roar]

- Watch out for the pterodactyl!

- [eagle cries]

- The T-rex is catching up! Quick!

Jump over the lava pool! - [yells]

Whoa! - [splash]

- GEMMA: Sorry, I guess I didn't use enough

pointy twisties to keep the rope in place.

- [panting] - Uh, let me help you.

- No, Ivy, that's not a good idea.

- [yells]

Ah...ugh.

- GEMMA: So, do you want me to take a picture?

- Why not? It couldn't get any worse.

- Actually, it can.

I fell on the expansion pack I got for you, it's broken.

- Well, now it couldn't get any worse.

- Help! The bees are after me! Help! [screaming]

- I gotta stop saying that.

- ♪

- How could we have let Cousins Day go so wrong?

- Well, the day's not over yet,

we could still do something to celebrate.

Ooh! I know!

Tandem bungee jumping.

- We haven't had the best luck today,

so maybe we should keep it simple.

- Yeah, all I really wanted to do today was hang out with you.

- So let's just do that, let's hang out in the back yard.

- Perfect. - [chuckles] Alright.

You get the chairs and I'll grab the snacks.

Don't worry, yours will have no nutritional value.

- [laughs] This Cousins Day is already looking up.

- Clark, wake up! Shouldn't you be studying?

- I am studying.

- Well, looks to me like you're sleeping.

- I'm sleep-studying.

I got this app called Sleep School,

I used it to memorize the bases of DNA.

Adenine, guanine, thymine, and cytosine.

- Wow, does that really work? - Claro que sí.

I'm also learning Spanish.

- Alright, I give up,

Stuart is obviously not going to prank me.

Look, I'm just gonna say it, I'm a little disappointed.

- [clucking]

[clucking]

- [door closing]

- Wow.

What just happened?

- Stuart told me to signal the chicken when Leaf gave up.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some more studying to do.

- Stuart's the best!

- Ta-da!

- This is a great cake, Ivy.

- Thanks, it's half seaweed and half chocolate chips.

- Well it's not half-bad.

- I think we saved Cousins Day after all.

- BOTH: To Cousins Day.

- [thunder clapping] - [rain falling]

- Of course! Rain!

-

- [laughing] - What's so funny?

- This day has been insane.

I mean, we got into a rat-infested trash can,

dodged falling dumbbells, and a runaway moose.

- Yeah, let's not forget the sunflowers, bees, lava,

and we sat in our breakfast.

- [laughs] Yeah.

It was all pretty crazy, but also kind of fun,

and I'm happy that we did it together.

- Yeah, we'll never forget this Cousins Day.

- [laughing]

- You got me, Stuart. Best prank ever.

- Hey, let's all take a selfie.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

- [rain falling] - [chuckles]

- Happy Cousins Day!

- ♪

- ♪

♪ Wee!

♪

♪ Hey!

♪

♪ Wee! ♪

- ♪