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me
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i was expecting
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lightning and angels and trumpets in the
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sky and all i got was a bunch of trees
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and the geese flying in the air
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and i thought how funny is this
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it just took me to like a really heavy
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place i struggled with that and i knew i
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had to either vomit or or cry
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and so finally i ended up being able to
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cry and really let it go
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it was completely overwhelming sense
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that there was something much bigger and
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that i was
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you know a small little ant
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in this much bigger divine organization
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of the universe and then i needed to pay
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attention to that
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it's gotten me in touch with my spirit
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which i had like no concept of before
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it's opened my heart in a way that i
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never had it open before ever
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i
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committed to her that i would she would
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be a teacher of mine for my life
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the source of the experience of which
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these people speak is not a faith a
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belief in things unseen
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it is simply this
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an herbal brew made in the jungles of
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peru by native shamans
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they call it ayahuasca which means vine
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of the soul
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it's a tea or or what herbalist would
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call a decoction meaning a strong tea
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it's always made from two plants
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one of which contains the hallucinogen
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dimethyltryptamine or dmt
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dmt is what i call a true psychedelic
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it's one of the class that includes lsd
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psilocybin
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masculine
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[Applause]
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in the amazon ayahuasca is a legally
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recognized sacred medicine
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indigenous people have used it for
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centuries to heal physical and
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psychospiritual ills
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it's an essential part of the culture
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woven into the fabric of their lives
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beyond the amazon the legality of
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ayahuasca is a gray area
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the globalization of ayahuasca is a
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challenge for modern drug control
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authorities
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the people who are using it outside of
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its traditional context are not the
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criminal element that is associated
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traditionally with illegal drug use
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these are people like my parents my
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friends doctors lawyers people in the
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health field
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who are passing along knowledge word of
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mouth
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and it seems to be spreading
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in the last 10 years thousands have
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tried ayahuasca seeking healing and
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spiritual growth
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the notion that there is a spiritual
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component to healing
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has been totally excised from
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biomedicine spirituality and healing
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what does spirituality have to do with
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healing
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we live in a culture that's spiritually
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very deprived very empty
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we live in a culture that's very
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material based in other words we live in
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a culture that does not give human
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beings what they really need
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that leaves a huge hole in people
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most people in north america and the
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western world
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are not as connected as people who live
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in the jungle and live in nature you
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know every day 365 days a year
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shaman guillermo arevalo believes
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everyone can reclaim this connection
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through ayahuasca
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which he calls a plant teacher
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he says the vine of the soul actually
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teaches you what you need to know
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what is there to share about ayahuasca
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can it really heal our minds and spirits
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two people are about to journey to the
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amazon to find out
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rob works as an accountant for a media
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company
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it's a good job and pays the bills
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it's not something you walk away from on
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a day-to-day basis feeling satisfied for
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the most part
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how long is the plate
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uh it's around
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i think it's eight hours into lima and
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then another three hours to quitos
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if uh
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everything goes well i'll be a
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completely different person next
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thursday
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will we be able to still recognize you
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oh yeah i'll just be glowing
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i will
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going down to peru at this point in my
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life makes a lot of sense to me
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partially because i'm now entering
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middle age
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and there's a lot of reevaluating that i
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believe should go on i mean if you're
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uncertain of what you believe in then
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you have to start questioning all things
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that are currently in your life and
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seeing maybe another path to take
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gerste is a doctor of naturopathic
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medicine
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you have a referred pain pattern up on
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your left side in my neck here
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yeah
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i've just started as a healer myself and
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i think it's a good time for me in my
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life to go down and experience this
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because if it's in in any way shape or
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form going to be a part of my life
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whether academically or in terms of i'm
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able to use it with patients i would
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never do that unless i myself have been
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through the experience
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are you ready to go rob let's do it
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in a nutshell what is missing in my life
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is spirituality i could say that with
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almost complete certainty
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we had
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very very slight religious upbringing
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that just seemed to have no foundation
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or no basis for me in my life
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it's not that i don't understand that
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the best way to live is to be right and
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be right with others but i don't have a
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guiding light per se
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while rob has never been to the amazon
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the rainforest has already shaped
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kirsty's life
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i did a lot of traveling both for work
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and in a volunteer capacity and i also
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was a guide
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in the amazon and was exposed to
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an enormous amount of plant medicine
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i've read an awful lot about
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ayahuasca and i'm just
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really interested in its implications
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for a lot of people with severe chronic
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disease
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from what i understand it really can
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open up a lot of energetic barriers that
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everyone has and if those barriers are
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opened up you can live more optimally
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in the past rob has used recreational
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drugs to search for greater meaning in
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his life without
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success
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i guess my biggest fear is simply just
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getting high again for two or three days
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and really not having it come to any
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fruition
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it can't be anything remotely similar to
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recreational use that's what i'm sick of
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and i certainly don't have to go to peru
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to experience it are you actually
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holding the theft if you need me
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i do feel some trepidation around what i
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will experience and what i might
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discover about my own energetic
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blockages but about ayahuasca i'm not
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going through this life and not doing
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ayahuasca
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there is no way
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after a long trip rob and kirsty finally
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arrive at the rustic retreat on the edge
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of the jungle
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guillermo was there to greet them
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along with an international group of
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fellow travelers
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ayahuasca
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dave a healer from canada began his
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apprenticeship with guillermo five years
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ago
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as soon as i started i thought this is
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exactly what my whole life was about i
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knew that this was my life path but i
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still had doubt whether i could actually
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accomplish it
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my first experience with guillermo was
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extremely extremely profound very very
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deep
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i remember him saying to me that i was
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david and i was gonna have to face
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goliath and goliath being the fear
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inside of me
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jose
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david
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espiritu
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prender
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the land
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guillermo has been a shaman to the
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shipibo people most of his life
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but only recently opened a retreat for
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westerners
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importante acerlo
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is
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all organisms on the planet are
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parasites on plants because plants
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are the only thing that make their own
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food and they make their food out of
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sunlight water and carbon dioxide
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and because of that they are running the
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show
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i'm extremely excited about tonight
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we're at the birthplace where the plants
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are from and just being under an
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accomplished master like guillermo
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has to be just a once in a lifetime
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experience
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throughout the day i think i went
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through a lot of different
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emotions and thoughts about it you know
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some of which were sort of anxiety am i
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a bit too tired to be doing this at the
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moment
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but i actually feel as i have since i
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arrived really pretty peaceful so
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hopefully that bodes well for me
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as darkness falls all who wish to
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partake in the ayahuasca ceremony join
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guillermo and his assistant corondero
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francoise
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when i was asked for my intention i felt
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i didn't really had one or maybe i
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hadn't given it enough thought and it
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kind of concerned me a little bit
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thinking that here i was in this great
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center for healing and i didn't come
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down with a specific problem
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my intention was it was a hard decision
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because there are a lot of things that i
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would like to work on but the thing i
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elected to sort of work on was difficult
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for me to
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see as yet how
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i can integrate this
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on a professional level
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i spoke to guillermo and just said can
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you help me to understand because i feel
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intuitively that there's a reason that
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i'm here
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i was aware of many things happening all
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the time because all of my senses were
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so heightened
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you sit there and you wonder whether or
290
00:14:43,039 --> 00:14:47,039
not it's taking effect and then as soon
291
00:14:44,879 --> 00:14:49,759
as you allow the chanting in it pretty
292
00:14:47,039 --> 00:14:49,759
much takes you
293
00:14:50,289 --> 00:14:55,198
294
00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:57,120
normally at the beginning the energy is
295
00:14:55,198 --> 00:14:59,759
a little heavy
296
00:14:57,120 --> 00:15:02,799
so you need to clear that
297
00:14:59,759 --> 00:15:04,399
so you start to sing and you bring light
298
00:15:02,799 --> 00:15:07,838
doing this
299
00:15:04,399 --> 00:15:09,919
it pushes out the negative energies
300
00:15:07,839 --> 00:15:13,199
and clears the space
301
00:15:09,919 --> 00:15:15,519
it makes people perch
302
00:15:13,198 --> 00:15:18,958
purging prepares the mind and body for
303
00:15:15,519 --> 00:15:18,959
the inner journey ahead
304
00:15:20,159 --> 00:15:26,799
the chanting then carries people into a
305
00:15:22,559 --> 00:15:28,799
realm beyond the five senses
306
00:15:26,799 --> 00:15:30,559
this person becomes you
307
00:15:28,799 --> 00:15:32,078
you become him
308
00:15:30,559 --> 00:15:34,159
you know you create that relationship
309
00:15:32,078 --> 00:15:36,159
with the chanting there is a link
310
00:15:34,159 --> 00:15:38,240
because you are such in a high state of
311
00:15:36,159 --> 00:15:41,519
consciousness you become super aware of
312
00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:44,480
the other and the author becomes super
313
00:15:41,519 --> 00:15:44,480
aware of your energy
314
00:15:44,958 --> 00:15:49,958
you can see it it manifests in your own
315
00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:49,959
visual state
316
00:15:50,019 --> 00:15:57,198
317
00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:59,440
the chanting was
318
00:15:57,198 --> 00:16:02,879
transformational i actually don't even
319
00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:02,880
have the words to describe that
320
00:16:02,889 --> 00:16:06,480
321
00:16:04,639 --> 00:16:09,198
i could feel plants quivering and i
322
00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:11,360
could feel everything breathing and i
323
00:16:09,198 --> 00:16:14,000
could feel the earth groaning and i
324
00:16:11,360 --> 00:16:16,399
could hear every single bird and just
325
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:19,039
this blissed out
326
00:16:16,399 --> 00:16:23,198
insanely powerful connection with the
327
00:16:19,039 --> 00:16:24,639
earth and with plants and with animals
328
00:16:23,198 --> 00:16:27,179
i felt
329
00:16:24,639 --> 00:16:29,759
a lot of joy
330
00:16:27,179 --> 00:16:31,519
331
00:16:29,759 --> 00:16:33,120
the feeling is just
332
00:16:31,519 --> 00:16:34,560
sublime i don't know how to explain it
333
00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:37,679
almost every little thing you do with
334
00:16:34,559 --> 00:16:38,638
your body a simple head stretch a deep
335
00:16:37,679 --> 00:16:41,679
breath
336
00:16:38,639 --> 00:16:43,198
just feels so life affirming because you
337
00:16:41,679 --> 00:16:44,559
seem to be in complete harmony with
338
00:16:43,198 --> 00:16:46,000
everything around you
339
00:16:44,559 --> 00:16:49,169
you just know that you're connected to
340
00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:58,000
something larger
341
00:16:49,169 --> 00:17:00,639
342
00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:04,240
most religions make a great deal about
343
00:17:00,639 --> 00:17:07,120
how you must have faith you must believe
344
00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:09,519
in god you must believe in what we tell
345
00:17:07,119 --> 00:17:11,599
you even though there's no evidence to
346
00:17:09,519 --> 00:17:14,400
support it no evidence for what we're
347
00:17:11,599 --> 00:17:16,318
telling you but you must have faith
348
00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:19,120
what's interesting
349
00:17:16,318 --> 00:17:21,599
about ayahuasca is you don't have to
350
00:17:19,119 --> 00:17:25,599
have faith
351
00:17:21,599 --> 00:17:27,359
it's the perfect tool for skeptics
352
00:17:25,599 --> 00:17:29,279
don't believe me don't believe what
353
00:17:27,359 --> 00:17:32,159
anybody tells you take it have the
354
00:17:29,279 --> 00:17:33,480
experience evaluate it for yourself make
355
00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:42,038
of it what you will
356
00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:42,038
357
00:17:43,599 --> 00:17:46,319
last night
358
00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:48,480
because we've been looking forward to it
359
00:17:46,319 --> 00:17:50,558
for quite a few weeks now
360
00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:52,798
i had a lot of expectations built up and
361
00:17:50,558 --> 00:17:55,038
the ceremony itself was very impressive
362
00:17:52,798 --> 00:17:59,279
but i think i didn't have a strong
363
00:17:55,038 --> 00:18:00,400
reaction to the ayahuasca itself
364
00:17:59,279 --> 00:18:02,879
it would be nice if it was a little
365
00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:04,559
stronger and i don't mean to be cocky in
366
00:18:02,880 --> 00:18:07,039
saying that because it's not for
367
00:18:04,558 --> 00:18:08,798
amusement or entertainment
368
00:18:07,038 --> 00:18:10,400
but i'm ready to kind of go a little
369
00:18:08,798 --> 00:18:13,720
deeper into myself to see what else
370
00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:13,720
comes out
371
00:18:14,319 --> 00:18:18,079
i think the big difference between the
372
00:18:15,759 --> 00:18:20,640
use of ayahuasca today and the use of
373
00:18:18,079 --> 00:18:23,678
other substances in the 1960s
374
00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:26,400
is a very strong understanding of the
375
00:18:23,679 --> 00:18:27,440
importance of ritual and a ceremonial
376
00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:31,038
element
377
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:34,000
in fostering a therapeutic or
378
00:18:31,038 --> 00:18:36,240
spiritual experience
379
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:39,679
it's not a party drug in the way that
380
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:42,798
other substances have been used
381
00:18:39,679 --> 00:18:45,519
the wisdom of learning through plants is
382
00:18:42,798 --> 00:18:47,670
a cultural tradition that goes back
383
00:18:45,519 --> 00:18:51,200
hundreds if not thousands of years
384
00:18:47,670 --> 00:18:52,240
385
00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:53,120
for me
386
00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:55,839
my
387
00:18:53,119 --> 00:18:59,279
experience of botanical medicine is very
388
00:18:55,839 --> 00:19:01,519
technical and medical and scientific and
389
00:18:59,279 --> 00:19:04,160
we do learn about the energetics of
390
00:19:01,519 --> 00:19:06,240
plants but it's much more dominated by
391
00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:08,320
the science and so
392
00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:10,720
i've always reached out to have
393
00:19:08,319 --> 00:19:12,159
opportunities to
394
00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:13,440
integrate both
395
00:19:12,160 --> 00:19:16,720
and so that's
396
00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:18,880
that's my goal you see uh the healing
397
00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:20,400
aspect of this medicine
398
00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:22,880
well what can you relate about it in
399
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:25,360
terms of ayahuasca
400
00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:27,120
i need to do it many more times many
401
00:19:25,359 --> 00:19:29,678
many more times to
402
00:19:27,119 --> 00:19:30,798
be able to speak to that because i'm not
403
00:19:29,679 --> 00:19:32,559
i can't
404
00:19:30,798 --> 00:19:34,720
integrate that or apply that with other
405
00:19:32,558 --> 00:19:36,960
people until i've integrated it with me
406
00:19:34,720 --> 00:19:38,960
i just can't
407
00:19:36,960 --> 00:19:41,038
i think it's not for everybody
408
00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:44,079
you know i think ayahuasca
409
00:19:41,038 --> 00:19:46,319
is a very powerful medicine
410
00:19:44,079 --> 00:19:48,720
but it has to be placed and used in a
411
00:19:46,319 --> 00:19:51,038
proper way but if they don't know how to
412
00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:54,798
do that it can create a psychological
413
00:19:51,038 --> 00:19:54,798
shock that would leave a trauma
414
00:19:55,839 --> 00:20:01,519
at a ceremony 15 years ago francois used
415
00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:03,279
ayahuasca to help kick an addiction to
416
00:20:01,519 --> 00:20:06,000
heroin
417
00:20:03,279 --> 00:20:08,158
i had this particular ceremony where i
418
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:10,079
could see my veins crying
419
00:20:08,159 --> 00:20:11,280
and my body expressing the pain that he
420
00:20:10,079 --> 00:20:13,199
had received through the use of
421
00:20:11,279 --> 00:20:15,440
addiction and needles
422
00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:17,919
lots of cleaning you know in my head had
423
00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:17,919
to be done
424
00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:22,400
addiction comes from a sense of
425
00:20:20,319 --> 00:20:24,158
deficient emptiness and trying to
426
00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:27,200
complete yourself from the outside is
427
00:20:24,159 --> 00:20:27,200
the essence of addiction
428
00:20:27,279 --> 00:20:32,079
with ayahuasca one is an opportunity to
429
00:20:29,359 --> 00:20:33,359
experience oneself as whole and complete
430
00:20:32,079 --> 00:20:34,798
if you can actually get that you're
431
00:20:33,359 --> 00:20:36,240
holding complete
432
00:20:34,798 --> 00:20:37,519
what is there to be felt from the
433
00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:40,558
outside anymore
434
00:20:37,519 --> 00:20:43,038
there's just no need for it
435
00:20:40,558 --> 00:20:45,200
i ask you can hear people see that
436
00:20:43,038 --> 00:20:46,879
in two or three ceremonies
437
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:49,200
if it's the appropriate shame and the
438
00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:51,280
leader and if it's the right environment
439
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:53,840
well that is a potential to heal
440
00:20:51,279 --> 00:20:53,839
addictions
441
00:20:54,159 --> 00:20:59,039
i think ayahuasca has
442
00:20:56,159 --> 00:21:01,280
to function with self-discovery and
443
00:20:59,038 --> 00:21:03,519
trying to understand better who you are
444
00:21:01,279 --> 00:21:05,119
and also it helps you to connect with
445
00:21:03,519 --> 00:21:07,119
the invisible world with the spirit
446
00:21:05,119 --> 00:21:09,519
world it could be related to nature you
447
00:21:07,119 --> 00:21:12,000
know the meaning of god
448
00:21:09,519 --> 00:21:14,400
having a clearer sense of what it means
449
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:17,200
for you in your life so it helps you to
450
00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:19,519
redefine yourself in relationship to
451
00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:19,519
that
452
00:21:19,679 --> 00:21:26,559
ayahuasca is used for many reasons
453
00:21:23,599 --> 00:21:30,480
for a corondero like dave ayahuasca is a
454
00:21:26,558 --> 00:21:31,759
teacher of the healing powers of plants
455
00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:32,880
my home
456
00:21:31,759 --> 00:21:35,599
please take off your shoes before you
457
00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:35,600
come to my home please
458
00:21:35,679 --> 00:21:39,360
ayahuasca is in many ways like the key
459
00:21:37,759 --> 00:21:41,279
to the door that allows you to plant
460
00:21:39,359 --> 00:21:43,599
teacher world ayahuasca allows you to
461
00:21:41,279 --> 00:21:46,480
access the other plant teachers in in in
462
00:21:43,599 --> 00:21:48,240
a more profound way
463
00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:50,240
a planned teacher is i mean the best way
464
00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:53,519
to look at it is you look at a plant as
465
00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:55,839
a being as you would as a friend
466
00:21:53,519 --> 00:21:57,440
each plant has a personality as each
467
00:21:55,839 --> 00:21:59,279
human does
468
00:21:57,440 --> 00:22:01,840
you take on the traits of a plant you
469
00:21:59,279 --> 00:22:03,359
know and plants are very sensitive and
470
00:22:01,839 --> 00:22:04,798
very intuitive
471
00:22:03,359 --> 00:22:06,479
and you know
472
00:22:04,798 --> 00:22:08,960
in healing you need to be very sensitive
473
00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:11,440
and very intuitive
474
00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:15,600
so we take these plants yeah to learn
475
00:22:11,440 --> 00:22:15,600
from them and in a way to become them
476
00:22:16,319 --> 00:22:19,359
i came here with the intention of
477
00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:21,519
you know
478
00:22:19,359 --> 00:22:23,479
gaining more strength in my work so i'm
479
00:22:21,519 --> 00:22:26,558
on a diet now with
480
00:22:23,480 --> 00:22:30,240
a bunch of different plants and trees to
481
00:22:26,558 --> 00:22:30,240
give me more strength more protection
482
00:22:30,558 --> 00:22:35,918
it's a mix of 25 30 different plants
483
00:22:33,038 --> 00:22:37,919
that i drink it every day
484
00:22:35,919 --> 00:22:39,600
you know it really breaks down the body
485
00:22:37,919 --> 00:22:42,240
at the beginning to
486
00:22:39,599 --> 00:22:44,240
open up i feel a little bit uh my body
487
00:22:42,240 --> 00:22:46,798
feels a little bit you know out of
488
00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:48,079
balance and a little bit weak but
489
00:22:46,798 --> 00:22:51,240
the most important thing is i feel good
490
00:22:48,079 --> 00:22:51,240
in my mind
491
00:22:51,710 --> 00:22:55,430
492
00:22:56,798 --> 00:23:01,289
after a day of reflection rob and kirsty
493
00:22:59,279 --> 00:23:05,678
returned for their second ceremony
494
00:23:01,289 --> 00:23:08,000
495
00:23:05,679 --> 00:23:10,480
again it was just wanting to experience
496
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:13,279
so much so quickly it was probably
497
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:15,839
overestimating my level what ayahuasca
498
00:23:13,279 --> 00:23:17,599
wanted to show me at that time
499
00:23:15,839 --> 00:23:19,519
in a way i kind of wanted to take more
500
00:23:17,599 --> 00:23:21,599
but in in a way i didn't you have to
501
00:23:19,519 --> 00:23:22,839
respect ayahuasca she was she was
502
00:23:21,599 --> 00:23:25,359
telling me something
503
00:23:22,839 --> 00:23:27,759
504
00:23:25,359 --> 00:23:31,918
it was totally different from the night
505
00:23:27,759 --> 00:23:33,279
prior i was restless and sort of
506
00:23:31,919 --> 00:23:35,440
agitated
507
00:23:33,279 --> 00:23:36,399
a part of ayahuasca is the purging
508
00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:38,159
aspect
509
00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:40,159
i you know sort of had always just
510
00:23:38,159 --> 00:23:42,159
thought that meant vomiting but it can
511
00:23:40,159 --> 00:23:43,440
it's just can be a lot of different
512
00:23:42,159 --> 00:23:46,159
bodily
513
00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:47,759
things going on in noises and belching
514
00:23:46,159 --> 00:23:49,278
and like
515
00:23:47,759 --> 00:23:51,440
it was
516
00:23:49,278 --> 00:23:53,679
unbelievable
517
00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:55,679
i got cagey kind of and i tried to leave
518
00:23:53,679 --> 00:23:57,919
the room entirely actually at one point
519
00:23:55,679 --> 00:23:59,200
but i sort of got stuck
520
00:23:57,919 --> 00:24:02,240
standing there
521
00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:04,400
it was just it was frustrating kind of
522
00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:06,000
when i did go outside
523
00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:09,120
i found rob
524
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:11,440
i left all of that
525
00:24:09,119 --> 00:24:15,519
insane cacophony
526
00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:19,400
i've always heard the folks
527
00:24:15,519 --> 00:24:19,400
i would i would say
528
00:24:26,140 --> 00:24:29,288
529
00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:34,240
in it
530
00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:36,000
okay
531
00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:39,599
oh my god
532
00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:41,839
we saw the sky and it was just
533
00:24:39,599 --> 00:24:43,519
staggering it was just
534
00:24:41,839 --> 00:24:47,199
astonishing how beautiful it was and i
535
00:24:43,519 --> 00:24:49,918
saw a huge shooting star which
536
00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:49,919
blew my mind
537
00:24:51,759 --> 00:24:55,599
and then we left and when i came back to
538
00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:59,038
my cabin
539
00:24:55,599 --> 00:25:00,079
i kind of laid down and i closed my eyes
540
00:24:59,038 --> 00:25:01,278
and
541
00:25:00,079 --> 00:25:03,599
like a lot of times when you close your
542
00:25:01,278 --> 00:25:05,759
eyes you see some light imagery and then
543
00:25:03,599 --> 00:25:07,519
it began to swirl together and it
544
00:25:05,759 --> 00:25:09,359
created this little eddy right in front
545
00:25:07,519 --> 00:25:11,440
of my field of vision and then bit by
546
00:25:09,359 --> 00:25:14,558
bit little images would appear out of
547
00:25:11,440 --> 00:25:17,038
this eddy come out and go back in come
548
00:25:14,558 --> 00:25:18,480
out and go back in
549
00:25:17,038 --> 00:25:21,440
when i was ready to write off the
550
00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:24,960
evening as somewhat of a a rejection or
551
00:25:21,440 --> 00:25:27,940
uh a negative she pulled me right back
552
00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:33,519
and then put me to sleep
553
00:25:27,940 --> 00:25:35,840
554
00:25:33,519 --> 00:25:36,798
it's really a therapy you have one
555
00:25:35,839 --> 00:25:40,158
ceremony it's like going to
556
00:25:36,798 --> 00:25:42,558
psychotherapy for two years
557
00:25:40,159 --> 00:25:44,640
colin from vancouver attended ayahuasca
558
00:25:42,558 --> 00:25:46,798
ceremonies for a year before coming to
559
00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:50,320
peru
560
00:25:46,798 --> 00:25:52,079
he's hoping to heal a troubled marriage
561
00:25:50,319 --> 00:25:53,839
for me i'm just want to be the father
562
00:25:52,079 --> 00:25:56,079
that i know i can be and the husband i
563
00:25:53,839 --> 00:25:58,079
can be and support my wife as family
564
00:25:56,079 --> 00:25:59,678
comes first right
565
00:25:58,079 --> 00:26:01,439
we had been on and off and are
566
00:25:59,679 --> 00:26:03,200
continuing in kind of a power struggle
567
00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:05,278
stage we have done couples therapy
568
00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:06,798
counseling but it doesn't quite
569
00:26:05,278 --> 00:26:09,038
i mean it works for a little bit but
570
00:26:06,798 --> 00:26:11,839
there's a deeper issue
571
00:26:09,038 --> 00:26:13,278
when i came here i knew i wanted to go a
572
00:26:11,839 --> 00:26:15,439
little deeper
573
00:26:13,278 --> 00:26:17,759
for me the one word that came up was
574
00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:20,240
acceptance acceptance of myself
575
00:26:17,759 --> 00:26:22,480
acceptance of my past and acceptance of
576
00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:25,519
my wife was probably the
577
00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:28,319
the number one thing to her that was
578
00:26:25,519 --> 00:26:30,079
the big blockage in our relationship
579
00:26:28,319 --> 00:26:31,918
there is something that's obviously
580
00:26:30,079 --> 00:26:33,519
keeping us together
581
00:26:31,919 --> 00:26:37,278
but there is some kind of
582
00:26:33,519 --> 00:26:37,278
something we keep coming up against
583
00:26:37,599 --> 00:26:41,599
i realized that i've had this sense of
584
00:26:39,119 --> 00:26:43,359
sadness within me affecting multiple
585
00:26:41,599 --> 00:26:45,678
things from past relationships people
586
00:26:43,359 --> 00:26:47,359
that have passed in my life to sadness
587
00:26:45,679 --> 00:26:49,519
around things around my childhood and
588
00:26:47,359 --> 00:26:53,839
being unhappy with my sort of place in
589
00:26:49,519 --> 00:26:53,839
the world so i'm sad about it at times
590
00:26:55,038 --> 00:26:59,278
after each ceremony guillermo encourages
591
00:26:57,519 --> 00:27:01,278
participants to talk about their
592
00:26:59,278 --> 00:27:03,440
experiences
593
00:27:01,278 --> 00:27:05,119
i feel myself attached with the with a
594
00:27:03,440 --> 00:27:06,880
bit of a dark spirit which came to me
595
00:27:05,119 --> 00:27:09,278
last night and it's all
596
00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:12,559
linked to an ex-girlfriend
597
00:27:09,278 --> 00:27:13,519
who has died she's since died but she's
598
00:27:12,558 --> 00:27:15,038
still
599
00:27:13,519 --> 00:27:17,038
there's lots of there's lots of love
600
00:27:15,038 --> 00:27:18,879
there there's a lot of lightness but her
601
00:27:17,038 --> 00:27:20,558
dark side is sort of still hanging onto
602
00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:25,080
me she was a very manipulative woman and
603
00:27:20,558 --> 00:27:25,079
it was almost the first woman in my life
604
00:27:56,480 --> 00:28:01,120
i woke up this morning you know very
605
00:27:58,319 --> 00:28:02,798
early and very still very high with the
606
00:28:01,119 --> 00:28:04,719
ayahuasca and
607
00:28:02,798 --> 00:28:05,759
and he had some nightmares a lot of
608
00:28:04,720 --> 00:28:07,278
sweating
609
00:28:05,759 --> 00:28:08,798
during the night almost like my body's
610
00:28:07,278 --> 00:28:10,809
trying to
611
00:28:08,798 --> 00:28:13,858
to uh to move it through
612
00:28:10,809 --> 00:28:13,858
613
00:28:14,880 --> 00:28:17,840
jose
614
00:28:28,798 --> 00:28:31,798
is
615
00:28:56,079 --> 00:28:59,519
m
616
00:28:58,069 --> 00:29:01,839
617
00:28:59,519 --> 00:29:04,000
professionally in terms of work as a
618
00:29:01,839 --> 00:29:06,158
naturopathic doctor i sort of feel
619
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:07,200
confused
620
00:29:06,159 --> 00:29:09,760
to
621
00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:12,080
employ this medicine even in a limited
622
00:29:09,759 --> 00:29:14,398
capacity probably takes a lot of
623
00:29:12,079 --> 00:29:17,359
personal journeying
624
00:29:14,398 --> 00:29:17,359
period for me
625
00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:28,319
i need to talk it through with dave
626
00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:30,798
how he
627
00:29:28,319 --> 00:29:32,000
operates because the ceremony is crucial
628
00:29:30,798 --> 00:29:35,200
and
629
00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:36,240
the training is crucial ayahuasca
630
00:29:35,200 --> 00:29:37,519
and powder
631
00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:40,519
ah yeah
632
00:29:37,519 --> 00:29:40,519
ayahuasca
633
00:29:45,278 --> 00:29:48,880
it's important for people to know that
634
00:29:47,038 --> 00:29:51,119
the ayahuasca acts as a teacher and it
635
00:29:48,880 --> 00:29:52,640
allows you to discover yourself through
636
00:29:51,119 --> 00:29:54,239
your own knowledge through your own
637
00:29:52,640 --> 00:29:56,000
experience
638
00:29:54,240 --> 00:29:57,759
these are all the plants we use for uh
639
00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:59,599
bathing here bring love attract love
640
00:29:57,759 --> 00:30:02,158
good luck yeah and all these medicines
641
00:29:59,599 --> 00:30:04,558
up here are all for uh for men to get a
642
00:30:02,159 --> 00:30:05,200
little extra energy oh
643
00:30:04,558 --> 00:30:06,839
yeah
644
00:30:05,200 --> 00:30:11,120
it means seven
645
00:30:06,839 --> 00:30:11,119
times seven seven times per night
646
00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:15,440
the other thing
647
00:30:12,558 --> 00:30:16,639
that dave says was that ayahuasca is
648
00:30:15,440 --> 00:30:18,159
going to meet you where you're at in
649
00:30:16,640 --> 00:30:20,320
terms of what needs to happen and
650
00:30:18,159 --> 00:30:23,200
potentially to go very
651
00:30:20,319 --> 00:30:25,200
deep into your own fears and
652
00:30:23,200 --> 00:30:28,319
challenges and personal growth
653
00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:31,120
i think next time i'm ready to go
654
00:30:28,319 --> 00:30:33,599
even if it's challenging i'm ready to
655
00:30:31,119 --> 00:30:34,479
sort of have a bit more and go deeper
656
00:30:33,599 --> 00:30:37,839
and
657
00:30:34,480 --> 00:30:37,839
just face what i find
658
00:30:39,359 --> 00:30:45,199
what kirstie and rob will face on this
659
00:30:41,919 --> 00:30:47,360
their third ceremony is unknown and
660
00:30:45,200 --> 00:30:50,159
unknowable
661
00:30:47,359 --> 00:30:53,359
the mysterium tremendous is as you can
662
00:30:50,159 --> 00:30:54,399
tell from the term a tremendous mystery
663
00:30:53,359 --> 00:30:56,240
it is
664
00:30:54,398 --> 00:30:59,599
at the core
665
00:30:56,240 --> 00:31:02,558
of all true religious or mystical
666
00:30:59,599 --> 00:31:04,480
experience the feeling of being at one
667
00:31:02,558 --> 00:31:07,519
with the universe
668
00:31:04,480 --> 00:31:11,278
and yet it's the experience that most
669
00:31:07,519 --> 00:31:14,159
religions are frantic to deny
670
00:31:11,278 --> 00:31:16,000
it's not for the ordinary person it's
671
00:31:14,159 --> 00:31:17,760
something you know the interpretation
672
00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:20,640
has to come through the church through
673
00:31:17,759 --> 00:31:22,798
the priesthood through the hierarchy or
674
00:31:20,640 --> 00:31:23,919
whatever and we'll tell you what this
675
00:31:22,798 --> 00:31:25,359
means
676
00:31:23,919 --> 00:31:28,159
and i think that's one of the
677
00:31:25,359 --> 00:31:29,759
interesting things about ayahuasca it
678
00:31:28,159 --> 00:31:30,720
gives you a
679
00:31:29,759 --> 00:31:34,119
tool
680
00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:36,640
to actually approach this phenomenon
681
00:31:34,119 --> 00:31:39,199
experimentally and some people wait all
682
00:31:36,640 --> 00:31:41,519
their lives and spend years in
683
00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:44,319
meditation and all sorts of aesthetic
684
00:31:41,519 --> 00:31:46,480
experiences and never have a mystical
685
00:31:44,319 --> 00:31:49,278
experience
686
00:31:46,480 --> 00:31:50,319
you can be just a kind of an ordinary
687
00:31:49,278 --> 00:31:52,558
schmuck
688
00:31:50,319 --> 00:31:56,480
and under the right
689
00:31:52,558 --> 00:32:00,519
circumstances psychedelics can trigger
690
00:31:56,480 --> 00:32:00,519
this kind of experience
691
00:32:03,038 --> 00:32:07,359
just experiencing everything possible
692
00:32:05,839 --> 00:32:09,599
that's in life
693
00:32:07,359 --> 00:32:11,038
at any given moment and you're just
694
00:32:09,599 --> 00:32:15,278
taking it all in
695
00:32:11,038 --> 00:32:15,278
without trying to state how you feel
696
00:32:23,599 --> 00:32:28,398
last night was just the culmination of
697
00:32:25,440 --> 00:32:29,519
finally being at home down here good
698
00:32:28,398 --> 00:32:30,879
medicine
699
00:32:29,519 --> 00:32:32,640
and just listening to guillermo and
700
00:32:30,880 --> 00:32:34,159
everyone chant
701
00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:36,000
it was everything
702
00:32:34,159 --> 00:32:38,720
that it could possibly be i think it was
703
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:38,720
just perfect
704
00:32:39,278 --> 00:32:42,960
it's my strongest visions at the very
705
00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:45,519
beginning were
706
00:32:42,960 --> 00:32:46,640
like a multi-level
707
00:32:45,519 --> 00:32:49,440
dimension
708
00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:51,440
and it's like a door being open to this
709
00:32:49,440 --> 00:32:53,759
but it's constantly being opened it's
710
00:32:51,440 --> 00:32:56,159
constantly being open and it never goes
711
00:32:53,759 --> 00:32:59,440
away because it's new again and so it's
712
00:32:56,159 --> 00:32:59,440
nature just showing you
713
00:32:59,919 --> 00:33:03,600
at times i feel like
714
00:33:01,679 --> 00:33:05,759
she could actually control my head and
715
00:33:03,599 --> 00:33:08,558
tilt it different ways and look around
716
00:33:05,759 --> 00:33:08,558
and so i would look
717
00:33:09,519 --> 00:33:13,599
that guillermo it's just
718
00:33:12,319 --> 00:33:16,319
oh
719
00:33:13,599 --> 00:33:16,319
i don't know how
720
00:33:17,038 --> 00:33:20,960
but it was so nice and it was maternal
721
00:33:18,798 --> 00:33:23,119
even when looking at guillermo suddenly
722
00:33:20,960 --> 00:33:25,440
i wasn't a younger person in guillermo i
723
00:33:23,119 --> 00:33:27,359
was older looking at him
724
00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:29,360
like he was a child and you're so proud
725
00:33:27,359 --> 00:33:31,038
of this child look at what he's doing
726
00:33:29,359 --> 00:33:33,359
she was saying that as she looked at
727
00:33:31,038 --> 00:33:35,519
guillermo look at all he can do
728
00:33:33,359 --> 00:33:38,639
and it was just a sense of awe and
729
00:33:35,519 --> 00:33:40,319
renewed innocence all the time but that
730
00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:42,080
was partly from her and
731
00:33:40,319 --> 00:33:42,960
it's the most spiritual thing i've ever
732
00:33:42,079 --> 00:33:45,759
felt
733
00:33:42,960 --> 00:33:45,759
in my whole life
734
00:33:49,200 --> 00:33:55,840
well i could tell kirsty wasn't quite
735
00:33:51,839 --> 00:33:55,839
having as great a time as i was
736
00:34:00,798 --> 00:34:06,440
the ceremony
737
00:34:02,640 --> 00:34:06,440
last night was um
738
00:34:06,558 --> 00:34:09,840
exceptionally hard
739
00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:17,760
i just couldn't get a nice peaceful
740
00:34:14,398 --> 00:34:19,519
vision or experience
741
00:34:17,760 --> 00:34:22,399
there were just moments where i just
742
00:34:19,519 --> 00:34:22,398
couldn't even
743
00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:28,639
bear it like it was just unbelievably
744
00:34:26,639 --> 00:34:30,960
hard
745
00:34:28,639 --> 00:34:33,519
i felt a lot of dark
746
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:35,918
things and
747
00:34:33,519 --> 00:34:37,280
it was it's this sounds very dramatic
748
00:34:35,918 --> 00:34:38,878
but
749
00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:40,399
it was pretty demonic like there were
750
00:34:38,878 --> 00:34:41,838
some pretty like
751
00:34:40,398 --> 00:34:44,078
terrifying
752
00:34:41,838 --> 00:34:45,759
moments where like i thought i was gonna
753
00:34:44,079 --> 00:34:47,280
die
754
00:34:45,760 --> 00:34:49,200
i thought i was gonna shut like shut
755
00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:51,280
down as a self-protection mechanism
756
00:34:49,199 --> 00:34:54,078
because it was i was way way beyond
757
00:34:51,280 --> 00:34:54,079
dealing with it
758
00:34:54,320 --> 00:34:57,680
and then
759
00:34:55,358 --> 00:34:59,900
it literally was like a miracle because
760
00:34:57,679 --> 00:35:02,480
dave appeared
761
00:34:59,900 --> 00:35:04,160
762
00:35:02,480 --> 00:35:06,000
what happens in a strong experience with
763
00:35:04,159 --> 00:35:08,480
ayahuasca like that is that you lose
764
00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:11,119
control an ego is about having control
765
00:35:08,480 --> 00:35:12,960
you can't control ayahuasca you know you
766
00:35:11,119 --> 00:35:15,119
can work with it but if you try to
767
00:35:12,960 --> 00:35:17,039
control it and get into a powerful start
768
00:35:15,119 --> 00:35:19,838
with ayahuasca that's where she's going
769
00:35:17,039 --> 00:35:23,769
to come on stronger to try to
770
00:35:19,838 --> 00:35:26,920
have that egoic death or spiritual death
771
00:35:23,769 --> 00:35:26,920
772
00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:32,960
there were
773
00:35:30,480 --> 00:35:35,519
emotional sort of components to it to do
774
00:35:32,960 --> 00:35:37,760
with my family
775
00:35:35,519 --> 00:35:40,079
people would come to me different people
776
00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:41,920
in my life whom i love which come to me
777
00:35:40,079 --> 00:35:43,920
and try to communicate to me and then
778
00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:45,838
would be sucked away and i would try to
779
00:35:43,920 --> 00:35:48,800
communicate with them and and then it
780
00:35:45,838 --> 00:35:48,799
would be sucked away
781
00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:55,559
it was truly truly
782
00:35:51,199 --> 00:35:55,559
indescribable the horror
783
00:36:00,869 --> 00:36:08,388
784
00:36:10,880 --> 00:36:13,838
i
785
00:36:16,239 --> 00:36:21,838
i was so terrified of losing him because
786
00:36:19,599 --> 00:36:23,920
it was like a lifeline
787
00:36:21,838 --> 00:36:26,480
and i was like
788
00:36:23,920 --> 00:36:28,720
i will i will drag myself
789
00:36:26,480 --> 00:36:29,838
i don't care what it takes
790
00:36:28,719 --> 00:36:32,959
and he
791
00:36:29,838 --> 00:36:35,279
helped me get over there and then
792
00:36:32,960 --> 00:36:39,079
he just he did
793
00:36:35,280 --> 00:36:40,720
chanting he was doing reiki
794
00:36:39,079 --> 00:36:43,119
795
00:36:40,719 --> 00:36:45,358
she's lost in this like
796
00:36:43,119 --> 00:36:46,960
great big vast sea so i'm there to throw
797
00:36:45,358 --> 00:36:49,358
her a line in a way
798
00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:51,119
because she was getting drowned in her
799
00:36:49,358 --> 00:36:53,119
you know her experience
800
00:36:51,119 --> 00:36:55,599
i'm there to find her path
801
00:36:53,119 --> 00:36:58,480
and find the way that she got there and
802
00:36:55,599 --> 00:37:00,640
so i do the chanting find her and then
803
00:36:58,480 --> 00:37:02,400
bring her back in her body and back and
804
00:37:00,639 --> 00:37:03,759
with her connection and then the healing
805
00:37:02,400 --> 00:37:06,760
will start to happen under its own
806
00:37:03,760 --> 00:37:06,760
process
807
00:37:08,079 --> 00:37:13,039
if that isn't the most humbling thing i
808
00:37:10,079 --> 00:37:13,039
have ever done
809
00:37:15,199 --> 00:37:19,279
i hope my ego just stays away and leaves
810
00:37:17,280 --> 00:37:22,960
me alone i just
811
00:37:19,280 --> 00:37:26,000
piss off i won't do that
812
00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:26,000
i don't want to deal with it
813
00:37:29,039 --> 00:37:33,279
and dave said okay you're going to go to
814
00:37:31,039 --> 00:37:36,320
cairo go to guillermo and i was like can
815
00:37:33,280 --> 00:37:39,680
i crawl
816
00:37:36,320 --> 00:37:39,680
so i dragged myself
817
00:37:45,519 --> 00:37:47,679
he
818
00:37:46,400 --> 00:37:51,760
addressed
819
00:37:47,679 --> 00:37:55,358
my issues at multiple different levels
820
00:37:51,760 --> 00:37:55,359
through the ecosystem chanting
821
00:37:57,570 --> 00:38:00,838
822
00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:07,119
oh i just i was so grateful because they
823
00:38:04,719 --> 00:38:09,358
didn't let me go until i was able to go
824
00:38:07,119 --> 00:38:11,599
like they passed me down the chain
825
00:38:09,358 --> 00:38:15,598
and i just cried and cried because i
826
00:38:11,599 --> 00:38:17,519
felt its insane level of gratitude
827
00:38:15,599 --> 00:38:20,960
like
828
00:38:17,519 --> 00:38:20,960
i don't even have words for it
829
00:38:22,079 --> 00:38:26,560
i felt this
830
00:38:24,639 --> 00:38:30,559
a kind of love that i that i don't think
831
00:38:26,559 --> 00:38:30,559
i've ever felt in my life
832
00:38:30,639 --> 00:38:36,239
it was not from here
833
00:38:33,300 --> 00:38:37,920
834
00:38:36,239 --> 00:38:39,679
i would turn slightly
835
00:38:37,920 --> 00:38:42,000
and just kind of let her know i was
836
00:38:39,679 --> 00:38:42,000
there
837
00:38:44,079 --> 00:38:48,079
but that's all you can do i mean you
838
00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:49,599
can't verbalize that sort of thing i let
839
00:38:48,079 --> 00:38:50,590
her know that i was aware of what she
840
00:38:49,599 --> 00:38:53,039
was going through
841
00:38:50,590 --> 00:38:55,519
842
00:38:53,039 --> 00:38:57,838
because we were we really sort of bonded
843
00:38:55,519 --> 00:38:58,639
he was quite close to me sometimes so
844
00:38:57,838 --> 00:39:00,799
his
845
00:38:58,639 --> 00:39:02,078
bald head was like
846
00:39:00,800 --> 00:39:03,119
so if i didn't know him i would have
847
00:39:02,079 --> 00:39:05,440
been like
848
00:39:03,119 --> 00:39:07,440
dude
849
00:39:05,440 --> 00:39:09,760
go have your party like three feet to
850
00:39:07,440 --> 00:39:12,000
the side like what are you doing but i
851
00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:13,440
was like i could i was comforted by
852
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:16,800
rob's presence
853
00:39:13,440 --> 00:39:20,079
he just was awesome he just was like
854
00:39:16,800 --> 00:39:20,079
he was there the whole time
855
00:39:20,480 --> 00:39:25,519
we went outside and it was dawn so it
856
00:39:22,719 --> 00:39:27,079
was that magic time when everything's
857
00:39:25,519 --> 00:39:28,960
blue
858
00:39:27,079 --> 00:39:31,440
859
00:39:28,960 --> 00:39:33,119
and we kind of trotted around because we
860
00:39:31,440 --> 00:39:35,519
were we were just sort of used to being
861
00:39:33,119 --> 00:39:39,680
together
862
00:39:35,519 --> 00:39:43,199
i really am so still so foamal
863
00:39:39,679 --> 00:39:44,559
slow motion it takes so much out of you
864
00:39:43,199 --> 00:39:46,239
it's crazy
865
00:39:44,559 --> 00:39:49,279
oh my god
866
00:39:46,239 --> 00:39:52,479
i was so glad rob that you were there
867
00:39:49,280 --> 00:39:54,000
that literally broke me open
868
00:39:52,480 --> 00:39:57,119
like that literally
869
00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:59,440
annihilated me i don't yet know what it
870
00:39:57,119 --> 00:39:59,440
means
871
00:39:59,480 --> 00:40:05,440
872
00:40:03,838 --> 00:40:07,119
when you when you think you're gonna die
873
00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:09,280
the part of that is part of the healing
874
00:40:07,119 --> 00:40:10,480
is that when you when you do
875
00:40:09,280 --> 00:40:11,839
come out of the experience you're just
876
00:40:10,480 --> 00:40:13,199
happy to be alive
877
00:40:11,838 --> 00:40:15,358
and that's the way we need to live every
878
00:40:13,199 --> 00:40:16,960
day of our life
879
00:40:15,358 --> 00:40:21,019
part of the enjoyment of living life is
880
00:40:16,960 --> 00:40:24,119
just be grateful for your life
881
00:40:21,019 --> 00:40:24,119
882
00:40:24,159 --> 00:40:28,078
is there a key insight that you
883
00:40:27,280 --> 00:40:32,160
get
884
00:40:28,079 --> 00:40:32,160
after you've taken lots of ayahuasca
885
00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:37,199
well it sounds trivial but the inside is
886
00:40:36,400 --> 00:40:40,400
you
887
00:40:37,199 --> 00:40:40,399
don't know
888
00:40:40,719 --> 00:40:43,919
we know very little
889
00:40:42,719 --> 00:40:46,239
about
890
00:40:43,920 --> 00:40:48,960
the way the world is put together about
891
00:40:46,239 --> 00:40:50,799
how the universe really is about our
892
00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:53,358
role in it
893
00:40:50,800 --> 00:40:55,119
and what's really going on you know you
894
00:40:53,358 --> 00:40:57,679
monkeys only think you're running the
895
00:40:55,119 --> 00:40:59,519
show you know you don't and not only are
896
00:40:57,679 --> 00:41:01,679
you not running the show you don't even
897
00:40:59,519 --> 00:41:03,039
know what the show is
898
00:41:01,679 --> 00:41:04,399
so
899
00:41:03,039 --> 00:41:07,838
be humble
900
00:41:04,400 --> 00:41:07,838
remember that you don't know much
901
00:41:11,920 --> 00:41:18,240
integrating the insights learned from
902
00:41:13,920 --> 00:41:18,240
ayahuasca can be a difficult task
903
00:41:19,280 --> 00:41:23,440
colin is still working to heal the
904
00:41:21,039 --> 00:41:25,199
relationship with his wife nina
905
00:41:23,440 --> 00:41:27,440
hi
906
00:41:25,199 --> 00:41:27,439
hi
907
00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:33,358
my wife is my soul mate and i really do
908
00:41:30,719 --> 00:41:35,598
want to see that relationship reaches
909
00:41:33,358 --> 00:41:37,519
full potential and it can be a rocky
910
00:41:35,599 --> 00:41:40,000
road you know it's got its ups and downs
911
00:41:37,519 --> 00:41:41,759
it's not all bliss it's a process and
912
00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:44,000
you've been part of that process a big
913
00:41:41,760 --> 00:41:49,160
part of that process but i finally
914
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:49,159
accepted things on a level that
915
00:41:56,960 --> 00:42:01,760
what he gets from ceremony is he really
916
00:41:58,880 --> 00:42:03,680
gets in touch with himself of
917
00:42:01,760 --> 00:42:06,640
a place of acceptance of himself
918
00:42:03,679 --> 00:42:08,639
acceptance of me just letting go and not
919
00:42:06,639 --> 00:42:11,199
needing to control
920
00:42:08,639 --> 00:42:14,639
and then it will last a month and then
921
00:42:11,199 --> 00:42:16,639
it explodes into of not being happy and
922
00:42:14,639 --> 00:42:18,639
unhappy in this relationship and
923
00:42:16,639 --> 00:42:20,639
complete opposite i'm trying to just be
924
00:42:18,639 --> 00:42:23,279
accepting of it but
925
00:42:20,639 --> 00:42:23,279
it's hard to
926
00:42:23,358 --> 00:42:27,279
completely
927
00:42:25,358 --> 00:42:28,719
accept it i'll call in because i've put
928
00:42:27,280 --> 00:42:30,720
a lot of
929
00:42:28,719 --> 00:42:33,439
the same kind of stuff before
930
00:42:30,719 --> 00:42:35,598
just gonna take some time till i
931
00:42:33,440 --> 00:42:39,119
i see some
932
00:42:35,599 --> 00:42:41,440
i actually see it as opposed to words
933
00:42:39,119 --> 00:42:44,000
i think colin sometimes feels that he
934
00:42:41,440 --> 00:42:46,318
just needs to live ayahuasca ayahuasca
935
00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:49,358
ceremony ceremony but you can't just
936
00:42:46,318 --> 00:42:51,039
live in that world your world is
937
00:42:49,358 --> 00:42:52,078
family or
938
00:42:51,039 --> 00:42:54,880
job
939
00:42:52,079 --> 00:42:54,880
whatever it may be
940
00:42:55,599 --> 00:42:59,119
well the most important part of
941
00:42:56,800 --> 00:43:00,160
ayahuasca is the actual integration into
942
00:42:59,119 --> 00:43:01,680
your life
943
00:43:00,159 --> 00:43:06,000
if you're not integrating that there's
944
00:43:01,679 --> 00:43:06,000
no point in it this is a spiritual path
945
00:43:06,079 --> 00:43:08,870
unless we're doing it we're wasting our
946
00:43:07,519 --> 00:43:12,030
time
947
00:43:08,869 --> 00:43:12,029
948
00:43:14,880 --> 00:43:19,519
it was staggering the extent to which i
949
00:43:17,599 --> 00:43:20,940
needed to process
950
00:43:19,519 --> 00:43:22,639
what happened in peru
951
00:43:20,940 --> 00:43:25,358
952
00:43:22,639 --> 00:43:28,159
it wasn't until halfway through it
953
00:43:25,358 --> 00:43:30,078
that i realized
954
00:43:28,159 --> 00:43:32,559
with incredible certainty like a
955
00:43:30,079 --> 00:43:34,640
lightning bolt that
956
00:43:32,559 --> 00:43:37,119
i had almost missed the point entirely
957
00:43:34,639 --> 00:43:39,759
which was that i wasn't there for work
958
00:43:37,119 --> 00:43:41,200
i mean the true purpose in terms of why
959
00:43:39,760 --> 00:43:42,800
i was there had nothing to do with any
960
00:43:41,199 --> 00:43:45,838
of those things
961
00:43:42,800 --> 00:43:48,800
it was only for me
962
00:43:45,838 --> 00:43:50,639
it was really hard for me to articulate
963
00:43:48,800 --> 00:43:52,880
what had happened and
964
00:43:50,639 --> 00:43:55,358
how i felt about it
965
00:43:52,880 --> 00:43:57,599
i became defensive of it because i think
966
00:43:55,358 --> 00:43:59,119
the go-to thought for people is oh
967
00:43:57,599 --> 00:44:01,599
you're going getting high
968
00:43:59,119 --> 00:44:03,200
psychotropic plants in the jungle and it
969
00:44:01,599 --> 00:44:05,680
almost is a bit offensive if you have
970
00:44:03,199 --> 00:44:07,279
any experience with ayahuasca to
971
00:44:05,679 --> 00:44:09,598
think of it that way or refer to it in
972
00:44:07,280 --> 00:44:11,690
that way so i would find it frustrating
973
00:44:09,599 --> 00:44:15,200
to sort of try to explain it to people
974
00:44:11,690 --> 00:44:16,079
975
00:44:15,199 --> 00:44:18,159
so
976
00:44:16,079 --> 00:44:20,640
what do you think the ayahuasca did for
977
00:44:18,159 --> 00:44:22,480
you how did it change your perception of
978
00:44:20,639 --> 00:44:24,239
the world it just makes you realize that
979
00:44:22,480 --> 00:44:27,039
you're part of a much larger hole all
980
00:44:24,239 --> 00:44:28,719
the time whether it's nature or
981
00:44:27,039 --> 00:44:30,239
the other people in your life you know
982
00:44:28,719 --> 00:44:33,519
i'm kind of conflicted because it sounds
983
00:44:30,239 --> 00:44:36,559
like it's a shortcut to meditation or to
984
00:44:33,519 --> 00:44:38,559
spiritual awakening i'm not sure if if
985
00:44:36,559 --> 00:44:41,199
that shortcut then has the long-term
986
00:44:38,559 --> 00:44:43,679
effects that say discipline and
987
00:44:41,199 --> 00:44:45,859
meditation would have you know i'd have
988
00:44:43,679 --> 00:44:48,879
to think about that some more
989
00:44:45,860 --> 00:44:50,720
990
00:44:48,880 --> 00:44:52,880
i live alone
991
00:44:50,719 --> 00:44:54,318
everything i do is solitary for the most
992
00:44:52,880 --> 00:44:56,880
part
993
00:44:54,318 --> 00:44:58,960
when i came back it was on the tip of my
994
00:44:56,880 --> 00:45:01,280
tongue that i should be in closer
995
00:44:58,960 --> 00:45:02,400
contact with my family hey how's it
996
00:45:01,280 --> 00:45:04,400
going
997
00:45:02,400 --> 00:45:07,200
excellent i mean you can't pretend to
998
00:45:04,400 --> 00:45:09,200
understand the bosom of ayahuasca
999
00:45:07,199 --> 00:45:11,679
cradling you unless you realize that you
1000
00:45:09,199 --> 00:45:13,439
also have friends and family that mean a
1001
00:45:11,679 --> 00:45:15,759
great deal to you and you have to take
1002
00:45:13,440 --> 00:45:17,519
the love that she shows you there and
1003
00:45:15,760 --> 00:45:19,040
spread that around to your family and
1004
00:45:17,519 --> 00:45:20,480
friends
1005
00:45:19,039 --> 00:45:22,159
have a safe trip in tomorrow and i'll
1006
00:45:20,480 --> 00:45:25,039
see you in the morning cheers we'll see
1007
00:45:22,159 --> 00:45:25,039
you there take care
1008
00:45:25,599 --> 00:45:29,200
even my brother i mean we're cut from
1009
00:45:27,199 --> 00:45:31,519
the same cloth we've always been kind of
1010
00:45:29,199 --> 00:45:33,118
guarded distant people and just to see
1011
00:45:31,519 --> 00:45:36,000
him almost gushed this morning it was
1012
00:45:33,119 --> 00:45:36,000
just really nice
1013
00:45:37,199 --> 00:45:41,279
1014
00:45:39,440 --> 00:45:43,679
over the weeks and months following i
1015
00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:45,200
realized that i had never in my life
1016
00:45:43,679 --> 00:45:47,440
felt
1017
00:45:45,199 --> 00:45:49,598
vulnerable the way that i did in that in
1018
00:45:47,440 --> 00:45:49,980
that moment because i had never allowed
1019
00:45:49,599 --> 00:45:52,559
it
1020
00:45:49,980 --> 00:45:55,280
1021
00:45:52,559 --> 00:45:57,199
and ultimately what i've realized is
1022
00:45:55,280 --> 00:45:58,720
that to really receive love you have to
1023
00:45:57,199 --> 00:46:01,089
be able
1024
00:45:58,719 --> 00:46:02,559
to be vulnerable
1025
00:46:01,090 --> 00:46:05,280
1026
00:46:02,559 --> 00:46:05,920
ayahuasca gave me a different
1027
00:46:05,280 --> 00:46:07,119
way of
1028
00:46:05,920 --> 00:46:10,000
1029
00:46:07,119 --> 00:46:12,160
feeling in my body a different way of
1030
00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:13,519
being a different way of viewing myself
1031
00:46:12,159 --> 00:46:14,799
in the world
1032
00:46:13,519 --> 00:46:16,719
that it
1033
00:46:14,800 --> 00:46:18,400
is staggering in that it allows you to
1034
00:46:16,719 --> 00:46:20,719
sort of
1035
00:46:18,400 --> 00:46:23,920
have a second chance
1036
00:46:20,719 --> 00:46:23,919
at being yourself
1037
00:46:24,719 --> 00:46:28,639
there's been a trend i think in western
1038
00:46:26,559 --> 00:46:30,639
medicine to recognize that alternative
1039
00:46:28,639 --> 00:46:34,719
healing practices can be a useful
1040
00:46:30,639 --> 00:46:36,639
adjunct to modern western approaches
1041
00:46:34,719 --> 00:46:39,118
so i think ayahuasca can be a valuable
1042
00:46:36,639 --> 00:46:41,838
component of treating such things as
1043
00:46:39,119 --> 00:46:43,920
psychiatric conditions depression
1044
00:46:41,838 --> 00:46:46,000
anxiety addictions
1045
00:46:43,920 --> 00:46:47,680
things that modern western medicine i
1046
00:46:46,000 --> 00:46:49,760
think hasn't really done a good job of
1047
00:46:47,679 --> 00:46:51,679
addressing
1048
00:46:49,760 --> 00:46:54,400
i don't have a whole lot of optimism
1049
00:46:51,679 --> 00:46:56,639
that within my lifetime some like
1050
00:46:54,400 --> 00:46:58,960
ayahuasca will be seriously unemployed
1051
00:46:56,639 --> 00:47:00,960
if it runs counter to people's
1052
00:46:58,960 --> 00:47:02,720
innate prejudices
1053
00:47:00,960 --> 00:47:04,720
it's not incorporated
1054
00:47:02,719 --> 00:47:05,838
heretical it is to say it in a medical
1055
00:47:04,719 --> 00:47:08,719
context
1056
00:47:05,838 --> 00:47:10,719
and i don't need decades of research to
1057
00:47:08,719 --> 00:47:13,679
tell me that something is good
1058
00:47:10,719 --> 00:47:13,679
but i know that it is
1059
00:47:14,829 --> 00:47:21,358
1060
00:47:19,119 --> 00:47:22,720
how's it going bro
1061
00:47:21,358 --> 00:47:24,799
i've seen you
1062
00:47:22,719 --> 00:47:26,000
how you
1063
00:47:24,800 --> 00:47:27,920
thank you
1064
00:47:26,000 --> 00:47:30,159
good to see you
1065
00:47:27,920 --> 00:47:32,400
this medicine is giving me my life my
1066
00:47:30,159 --> 00:47:33,759
life path
1067
00:47:32,400 --> 00:47:36,400
i'll be doing this until i'm old and
1068
00:47:33,760 --> 00:47:38,000
gray that's that's never been a doubt in
1069
00:47:36,400 --> 00:47:40,720
my mind it's always been whether or not
1070
00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:43,920
i could actually accomplish it
1071
00:47:40,719 --> 00:47:46,558
just thank creator for nourishment and
1072
00:47:43,920 --> 00:47:48,880
nourish our body our spirit their mind
1073
00:47:46,559 --> 00:47:50,480
help us be strong and work in a good way
1074
00:47:48,880 --> 00:47:51,920
with the medicine tonight
1075
00:47:50,480 --> 00:47:52,800
it's given me a whole community of
1076
00:47:51,920 --> 00:47:55,039
people
1077
00:47:52,800 --> 00:47:56,559
it's given me dear friends it's given me
1078
00:47:55,039 --> 00:47:57,920
a purpose
1079
00:47:56,559 --> 00:47:59,760
it's given me
1080
00:47:57,920 --> 00:48:01,680
confidence you know just to be able to
1081
00:47:59,760 --> 00:48:03,440
acknowledge that like i
1082
00:48:01,679 --> 00:48:06,919
i can do something you know for people
1083
00:48:03,440 --> 00:48:06,920
and helping people
1084
00:48:07,599 --> 00:48:12,240
at dave's northern wilderness retreat
1085
00:48:10,079 --> 00:48:13,620
rob and kirsty meet for the first time
1086
00:48:12,239 --> 00:48:15,759
since their trip to peru
1087
00:48:13,619 --> 00:48:18,078
1088
00:48:15,760 --> 00:48:22,240
i didn't know rob before this but i now
1089
00:48:18,079 --> 00:48:22,240
know rob and rather an intimate way
1090
00:48:31,679 --> 00:48:36,719
it was just like some kind of crazy
1091
00:48:34,400 --> 00:48:38,720
natural wedding where we just
1092
00:48:36,719 --> 00:48:40,558
a union of our souls and she was a
1093
00:48:38,719 --> 00:48:42,639
little on the downside i was a little on
1094
00:48:40,559 --> 00:48:46,160
the up but by the end of the evening
1095
00:48:42,639 --> 00:48:46,159
we're exactly the same place
1096
00:48:46,639 --> 00:48:49,519
so we're all going to be drinking
1097
00:48:47,679 --> 00:48:50,879
ayahuasca tonight
1098
00:48:49,519 --> 00:48:52,480
trust yourself
1099
00:48:50,880 --> 00:48:53,680
you've heard the call you felt the call
1100
00:48:52,480 --> 00:48:55,440
to be here
1101
00:48:53,679 --> 00:48:57,118
some people talk about
1102
00:48:55,440 --> 00:49:01,159
you know the chemical it's not a
1103
00:48:57,119 --> 00:49:01,160
chemical i was a spirit
1104
00:49:03,358 --> 00:49:07,039
so approach ayahuasca with you know
1105
00:49:05,440 --> 00:49:08,639
obviously respect
1106
00:49:07,039 --> 00:49:11,679
with reverence
1107
00:49:08,639 --> 00:49:11,679
and also with gratitude
1108
00:49:12,239 --> 00:49:16,799
i'm always checking in with my intention
1109
00:49:14,960 --> 00:49:18,240
what is my intention for carrying this
1110
00:49:16,800 --> 00:49:20,160
work
1111
00:49:18,239 --> 00:49:22,078
has to be to share and to have that
1112
00:49:20,159 --> 00:49:23,679
experience that you can get in the
1113
00:49:22,079 --> 00:49:26,230
amazon with traditional healers but have
1114
00:49:23,679 --> 00:49:30,399
it here
1115
00:49:26,230 --> 00:49:32,000
1116
00:49:30,400 --> 00:49:33,519
when we drink ayahuasca outside of the
1117
00:49:32,000 --> 00:49:35,119
amazon we're not surrounded by the
1118
00:49:33,519 --> 00:49:36,880
plants so it's also a different
1119
00:49:35,119 --> 00:49:40,000
experience but you can still take the
1120
00:49:36,880 --> 00:49:40,000
spirit of the plant with you
1121
00:49:40,159 --> 00:49:43,440
i have the spirit of the plants inside
1122
00:49:42,079 --> 00:49:46,559
me and the spirit of the jungle and i
1123
00:49:43,440 --> 00:49:46,559
tried to share that with the people
1124
00:49:47,280 --> 00:49:51,359
dave and others like him are spreading
1125
00:49:49,440 --> 00:49:54,960
the gospel of ayahuasca through
1126
00:49:51,358 --> 00:49:56,960
ceremonies around the world
1127
00:49:54,960 --> 00:49:58,880
my intention is is to help people in
1128
00:49:56,960 --> 00:50:00,159
their healing the healing of our
1129
00:49:58,880 --> 00:50:02,240
communities here
1130
00:50:00,159 --> 00:50:04,159
the healing of the planet
1131
00:50:02,239 --> 00:50:07,589
this is why i think
1132
00:50:04,159 --> 00:50:09,358
ayahuasca has left the amazon
1133
00:50:07,590 --> 00:50:12,000
1134
00:50:09,358 --> 00:50:15,039
we're impacting the planet in certain
1135
00:50:12,000 --> 00:50:15,920
areas like the amazon is a good example
1136
00:50:15,039 --> 00:50:18,480
we're
1137
00:50:15,920 --> 00:50:22,000
basically raping the amazon but maybe
1138
00:50:18,480 --> 00:50:23,838
this is sending you know waves of alarm
1139
00:50:22,000 --> 00:50:25,920
in some sense through the rest of the
1140
00:50:23,838 --> 00:50:27,838
biosphere and then no sense am i
1141
00:50:25,920 --> 00:50:31,358
invoking consciousness here but it's a
1142
00:50:27,838 --> 00:50:34,480
defensive strategy for self-preservation
1143
00:50:31,358 --> 00:50:37,119
on the heart of not only ayahuasca but
1144
00:50:34,480 --> 00:50:40,240
in you know in some ways almost
1145
00:50:37,119 --> 00:50:42,160
on behalf of everything that's living on
1146
00:50:40,239 --> 00:50:44,078
the planet
1147
00:50:42,159 --> 00:50:47,598
maybe this is the last
1148
00:50:44,079 --> 00:50:50,079
desperate ploy of gaia to
1149
00:50:47,599 --> 00:50:52,240
sort of hit us upside the head
1150
00:50:50,079 --> 00:50:56,240
and say you know wake up you monkeys
1151
00:50:52,239 --> 00:50:56,239
you're really screwing things up
1152
00:50:57,760 --> 00:51:02,000
i mean if ayahuasca was to be described
1153
00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:03,440
as a religion or a faith it's
1154
00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:06,159
it's all about
1155
00:51:03,440 --> 00:51:08,880
the earth and all of the beings all of
1156
00:51:06,159 --> 00:51:11,759
the beings in it
1157
00:51:08,880 --> 00:51:13,119
but in an experiential way
1158
00:51:11,760 --> 00:51:14,400
it's one thing to intellectualize
1159
00:51:13,119 --> 00:51:15,760
something and it's another thing
1160
00:51:14,400 --> 00:51:19,519
entirely
1161
00:51:15,760 --> 00:51:19,520
to touch it and to experience
1162
00:51:20,719 --> 00:51:22,799
other
1163
00:51:21,760 --> 00:51:23,920
bigger
1164
00:51:22,800 --> 00:51:27,119
energies
1165
00:51:23,920 --> 00:51:29,838
that are intelligent it's very much like
1166
00:51:27,119 --> 00:51:32,480
being held to uh
1167
00:51:29,838 --> 00:51:34,799
the bosom of the mother of everything
1168
00:51:32,480 --> 00:51:36,780
and it's very much about love
1169
00:51:34,800 --> 00:51:40,019
period
1170
00:51:36,780 --> 00:51:40,019
1171
00:51:43,590 --> 00:51:46,719
1172
00:51:50,920 --> 00:52:14,510
1173
00:52:14,559 --> 00:52:17,559
on
78709
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