Original subtitles

If you have a problem, no matter what it is,

there's a number you can call.

I stopped drinking when I was 17 on my own,

because it's not good for your health.

And I fell into a bonfire.

Part-edge!

Oh, my God!

I'm on my way to the keg.

You know why?

Oh, my God.

Does it's beer o'clock?

Oh, my God.

I didn't need a...

...falling into a bonfire is a one-step program.

Of course, that didn't convince me to stop drinking. It was my drunk friend trying to stop me out.

We actually have no pictures of my father, where he is not holding a beer.

He was a few in the world. Parent teacher competence. Intensive care. And he was always vibrant, confident, and full of life. That was before. Recently, Dad hit bottom. And it was freaky. Dad?

I'm a rotten father.

Uh-huh. Why are you crying?

I ruined your life.

Okay.

Bye.

I swore I would never get involved in my Dad's life.

But then he started blowing it.

So I had to get involved.

You know, but he's my dad. I can't send him to his room or ground him.

I'll go to his first grade play and scream. Look at the fairy!

I was a wooden-itf.

Okay. I made trim puffs, pizza rolls, and things in a blanket.

You're that lovely. Tommy, you don't cater an intervention.

We have to get Dad the faces problem with alcohol.

What we need here is love, strength, understanding, stun gun. Everyone, next at the shrimp pots.

Drop the shrimp puff.

Get these out of here. This is the way I deal with stress. Okay? I'm not on board with this, but if we're going to do this, we might as well have finger foods.

Take the tray into the kitchen. Yeah. Tommy, wait.

Now. Now. I'm going to go to my room. Go, fine. Go. You always leave when things get rough. Where are you going? You said I always leave. I meant it as a character flaw. I got that.

Get your ass back in here and sit down. Don't yell at me. This is your deal, Titus. Dave. Titus. Dave. Titus. Guys. This never goes anywhere. Because you always hit a rutting.

Christopher. Erin. Christopher, I'm not doing this. Tommy, we're climbing and getting in here.

Okay, no finger foods, no fruit-threpeas. Fine. Everyone, just listen up. Christopher is trying to do something here. Thank you. And I think it's a big mistake. We shouldn't be interfering in your father's life. I need a little support here. I am trying to protect you, and I am trying to help him. I'm trying to protect you from helping him. You know what? He's like. That's the problem. He's not like what he's like anymore. I like the fact that

Like that.

LAUGHTER

My father has always been mean-spirited and evil.

It's been a lot of fun.

Except when his mean-spirited evilness is directed to you.

LAUGHTER

LAUGHTER

LAUGHTER

Yeah, that always money.

And I want that man back.

I will do anything to hear him laugh again.

All right. I'm in. Me too.

Me too.

OK, that's his car.

Hold me down, you little bitch.

LAUGHTER That's sweet.

Dad, guys? Dave?

Papa Titus?

We've been waiting for you.

Oh, another birthday, another year closer to death.

We shouldn't do this to him on his birthday. Dave, it's not his birthday.

Dad, it's not your birthday. But we do have a gift for you, the gift of love.

But I hope you kept the receipt. Because I don't deserve it.

OK, you're right. You're right. Don't call it just start.

LAUGHTER Hot. Hmm. We think you have a problem. It's about your drink.

But I haven't had a drink for a month. Dad.

We'd like you to start again.

You want me to start drinking? Well, it sounds wrong when you put it like this.

It's like that. Is that why you're depressed without the sweet, sweet fog of alcohol? You've seen your pathetic life for what it really is? So this is your idea. Yes, I want you to listen to her. She's here. Yes. I will take the heat for loving my father because I care. I care that you've lost your lust for life. Dad, I was raised by a lusty, lustful man. And now you're lustless.

I want to help you find that lost lust.

When I can't live that hard anymore, getting older.

What did you say?

I'm getting older.

Can you talk to him?

I'll be tightest.

Whatever happened to that man that could go out with three women in one night.

You were a...uh...uh...what do you call a stud on a horse farm?

Stud. You were that. Dad was drinking. He was so smooth. He could pick up any woman and did. I used to wake up with their names pinned to my pajamas so I could greet the sluts with class.

You must be Christopher. You must be Sheila. Sharon. Hey, it was noisy in the bar.

See, back now in case I meet a Sheila. The kid likes chocolate, cheap pancakes. Get on now, huh?

When Dad stopped drinking, he started pissin' women off before he slept with him.

Thanks for doing this, Aaron. You're a good fool. We'll kill him like you.

Can...this is Melissa. Hi. I'm really not dressed for company. You can bring your grandma by later.

It's at you, really. If you were drinking, I know he would have found you attractive.

Oh, that came out wrong. One time I don't take advantage of a woman and that means I have to start drinking.

Oh, Dad, you are in denial. I want you to admit that you have a nut drinking problem.

Sorry, I'm late. Did you get in drinking yet? No.

You call my boss? Hey, your son is worried about you. Rich, I have been showing up to work.

Sober. That's not the guy I hired.

Some people can't function when they're drinking.

Dad, not only functions, he was employee of the month. I mean, you would go with cheap RPC over glass. I can't let you do that, Joe. You mean too much to me, baby?

Andrea, another round beautiful. Are those real alligator? You like them?

Yeah. I can't take your shoes. Not without my bell, you can't? So, we're done to the all right?

Dad wasn't drinking and I want to be clever here. He just sucked.

Yeah, that's just some old fiberglass. Same old frapp.

I'm not a no kin. I'm seconda going with radiant pair of your chips.

But RPC's great stuff. He won my shoes.

You never tell jokes anymore. You used to tell great jokes? Yeah, the Polish astronaut. The guy with the flashlight.

That joke is in funny ridges just stupid. I mean, how do you lose your keys in the vagina?

So, I don't tell jokes anymore. I'm not hurting anybody.

You are hurting every woman that you don't hit on. You used to make them laugh and feel beautiful. Remember Melissa? You were sober and you completely ignored her.

Did that upset her?

I think she was a little upset. So, everybody's life sucks because I've missed a few beers. You just don't get it, do you dad?

Dave has something to say to you. What? I don't want to. Dad, I love you just the way you are.

Hey, stop it!

Hey, baby.

All right. All right. Dad, did you or did you not rent the bridges of Madison County?

It's a clean Eastwood movie. No, no, no, no, no, pop a tightest. It's a narrow street movie that has Clint Eastwood in it.

Well, I thought it was Bridge over the Riverquite. No. It was already in the VCR. Oh, God, say, Mr. Titus looking the mirror.

This charade has gone on long enough.

charade? Dad was Tommy's first drinking buddy. He was like a son to dad. The lucky son who didn't live with dad.

And I went to the horse's castle much, Tommy. No, Mr. Titus? Because they're worth it.

I told you things I could never tell my own father. No, you're just like him. Oh, my god. Your Tommy's dad. You want me to be Tommy? Tommy is a nice guy. Tommy is everything you raise does not to be fussy anal. neurotic, impulsive, anxious, compartmental, I Am the grateful loving child of your drunk and abuse. Where's that abuse now?

No.

Thank you for raising me the way you did to head without you writing my ass.

I don't know how it turned out, but I'm pretty sure it would have involved leader

Hosen, toothpicks, and mini-leaders.

Good and talking. My name is Hans. Please try one of our new and skit vienna's ascension.

Dad, what do you say?

Come on, pop a tight head.

Don't stop being the father I never had.

Dad, please drink it. Hey, I can start drinking whenever I want. Then go ahead. Drink it.

Wussy.

Wussy.

Here, me.

Go, go, go.

Go, go, go, go, go. Don't help. Don't let a shuddy-dly.

Yeah.

This is what I'm doing.

I'm doing it. That's what I'm doing. I'll see you in the morning.

I'll be late.

Hey, thanks for helping us out, Rich. Hey, you see you, man, drowning?

It's from a beer.

You've really done the right thing for all of us, pop a tight head.

Oh, so you put this all thing together, huh?

Well, yeah. Thank you. Don't you feel better? I do feel better. I made all the food. I bought the beer. I was behind it the whole time. Hold up. Didn't want to interfere. Afraid to help.

Stun gun.

I made this happen. Uh-huh. Well, so I have to thank you all, but I especially want to thank you. Because I do feel better. I mean, I feel lighter.

Like the sweet, sweet fog is beginning to roll.

Covering over my pathetic life, isn't that the way you put it? Well, yeah.

You will just the way you must have felt the day you told her and you lost all that money on the 69 charger.

What money? You better swim for the lighthouse, Maddie. The fog is rolling in.

Tell me, look, look, look, look. Look. Look.

You withdrew money from the business without telling me? Did you boys just hear a fog horn?

You always hurt the ones you love. No good deed goes unpunished. I fear we have awakened a sleeping giant.

Don't get your dad back to drink and no matter how good you think it is for him, because he will disembowl you. The last one's mine. I need a short knit.

I know what you're doing. But you're trying to turn it all against each other. Oh, no, I'm not. I mean, they're fearing in your life. Oh, sorry. Helping. But I won't say another word about your embezzling money from the business. Oh, my God.

It was a couple of thousand dollars. I was a whole week trying to fix those tax returns. Isn't tax fraud a felony?

So, tell me my coat of prison. He'd be fine there. He'd find a niche. Okay, okay. No, no, no, no. I'm bored with this whole riot thing. But if we're gonna do it, let's do it right. Light up. Chives. Chanks. Razors.

Good timing. The gift of love. You like to me. You like to me first. So your light takes precedence? Hey, come on. It doesn't matter who light do who. It was a 69, 446-pack charge. Come on. I was gonna make like five grand on it. And I was gonna buy you a nice present. But then I parked in front of dad. It's awesome. It had smashed and didn't leave a note.

Dad? What? I just think it's funny that he still thinks it's a hit and run. He swore he wouldn't tell him. I didn't.

Why is a criminal return to the scene of a crime?

Errigance, hubris, or because he sleeps in the back bedroom, and doesn't know what hubris means.

Dad?

It's a good day.

It's a good day.

It's a good day. I never told you. You still haven't driven one. You only wrecked one. I've been to house for you.

Yeah, you're business part. I didn't notice when I wasn't drinking.

Oh, uh, dad, you think you got me, huh?

Dave, what? Come here. I forgive you.

Since you're in a forgiving mood, maybe you can forgive Tommy for having naked dreams about you.

Oh, oh.

Dream, not dream time. Dream, one dream, one naked man dream.

You had a dream of helping me when you were naked, but it was a naked you were naked.

naked stop, no naked stop.

Oh, you're telling him. She tells me everything. I call. Who are you working for?

Dave, not Tommy, your father about Tommy's naked dreams. Dream, one dream. And the nudity, it wasn't gratuitous. It was integral to the plot of the dream.

There was a plot. You were a pirate.

Oh!

Why did you tell him? She didn't. I heard her tell her mom on the phone.

You told your mother? My God, what did she think of me?

What are you about? What I think of you. I'm gonna tell you you were just being evil. You're trying to bury Christopher. You're not being fair. Well, you're right. You're right. I'm not being fair. Christopher, Aaron told me that you're afraid that one day you're gonna snap just like your wacko mother. She's afraid, too. Fair enough. I can't believe that you said that. Blame the fall. I told you one of my deepest darkest fears.

And you told it to my other deepest darkest fears.

You're deepest darkest fear about you is my deepest darkest fear about you.

What? Is that what you're afraid of that? A Michael psycho and stab you with a fork?

I'm not afraid for me. I'm just afraid that someday I'm not gonna be able to reach you.

That you'll start arguing with the coffee maker. Just like his mother.

I'd love for you. I love his mother.

Oh, I-I don't want to do this here.

No, you want to go home and post it on the website.

Don't you turn this around on me, Mr. You're the one who started it. You lied to me.

I lied to you because they threatened my damn car. The Dave didn't take the money out of the shop.

One of the iron responsible for. Well, who writes the chips and naked dream and freak?

Look who's stabbing. Look who's stabbing. Has to start is the whack job. Shut up, Dave. Shut up. Over by. You shut up. You think my finger is on top? You shut up. You shut up. You shut up. Do it with your favorite. Would you, the next time you have an intervention, make sure you invite me. Was he?

APPLAUSE

It's good to hear him laugh again.

Do you have a problem? No matter what it is, there's a group you can call.

But do me a favor. When you call, get the number right.

Because nobody wants to be woken up at 3am and hear you whining about your patty-lead of things.

No offense.

Thank you.

I'm the funny one.

No, I'm the funny one.

I'm the funny one.

Okay.