Original subtitles

Damn it!

Ow!

I've learned to control my anger.

I can be grumpy, I can see, I can crank the furious, like that.

My decision.

I'm good at living.

Oh!

I'm pissed off right now, and you can't even tell.

Ha ha! Because I'm in control. Now.

Master, dang, Master! Yeah! I know you see me in your rear view. I'm gonna stop you little artist, do what if you tell, dang, late, take your ass!

Tell me about us! You missed!

I don't jump off cars anymore. I've learned to... channel my anger into something more constructive.

Spite. I spent hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars of my own money to restore and build a car for my dad.

To make him pay for all the years he said I was a loser. Who's a loser now guy with the new car? Ha ha!

Spite.

This car is beautiful, your dad is gonna be so proud.

Yes he is. He's gonna say he's proud. After I shove this car right up his ass.

Because it is birthday and I love it.

So you've taken this loving gift and made it into something evil.

See, that's why I love you because you get it.

That is gonna hate this tie. We're not going back. Make peace with the paysley.

Who's Debbie? Our waitress. You already know that waitress we're having?

Tell me he had sex with the waitress we're having.

He's a hud!

You know, why do you want it as to drive all the way to Canada for Papa Titus's birthday?

It's only nap and yeah.

If sex were water, tell me he hasn't had any sex for two years.

Why do you keep thinking me?

No reason. Want to go again?

Sure. Thank you.

Wait. Wait. Wait. Tell me. Papa Titus is sitting in a restaurant talking to Debbie. I love that sex was memorable because it might be another two years. He doesn't know about her. I only told you guys. Oh, was that a secret?

Go!

Oh, I almost forgot you know what this car needs.

Now it's wrapped. Now it looks like a present from the car fairies. How would you decorate it so you dab like it? Hang a human ear from the rear view.

Do, check out that guy. Okay, we can take me's only doing like 85. That was not a challenge.

Sir. I was raised two minutes from Fremont Drag's drip, one minute of dad let me drive. Challenge? I'll raise you through a car wash. Okay, this is not a race, all right? No, he's just getting the tarmets in the restaurant before dad gets to the scouts story. No, no, no, no. There's no scouts story. Now which one of you had the homosexual experience at camp? I parked the car.

I was putting Cal at my lotion on his poison IV.

Christopher, you're going a hundred and ten.

I buckled up. I just want to get past this cat. No, you want to finish first on race track earth.

That's why I love you, see? You get it. I'm going to go in at a hundred and ten.

You slow us down with the cheek flap.

No, I'm doing this.

Dave Cal, where? No.

May you see the look on his face? Yes, he was horribly embarrassed.

Hello, I'm faster than you. Get out of the way, but what? Get out of the way, but by.

How very attractive is it? If I wanted to date 17-year-old jerk, I would have dated you when you were 17.

That's why I love your honey. Can you get it? Wow, it took you like a minute and a half to throw that back in my face. Nice. Thank you. Look down. My mom always said, drive this if every car ahead is a drunk and every car behind you has a cop. My dad always said, drive so every cop behind you doesn't know your truck.

What does something to see in the switch places with me?

Say it like I taught you. What seems to be the problem officer? What?

Our problem is behind us. Our problem just gave you the finger. Really? Don't. Oh, help it. No, I just got an old one. I've learned that being a man isn't about toughness, provider, and territory. Well, actually, that's all the being a man is about, but I have a girlfriend, so I got to pretend because she's not a man, so she doesn't get it. My next girlfriend's going to be a man.

What did you say? Okay, no finger. Dave, got it. What for you and what for me? I said don't and you did let me out. Honey, I did not give the finger. Oh, one was for you. Dave. Mr. Titus is probably telling Debbie, you know, Tommy, he's a bedwetter, which I'm not. I felt a sleep ball drinking juice.

Okay, okay fine, fine. You're kind of off. A finger is given on your behalf. Are we done?

We're done. It's all. Come Ben, I am the tourist.

He bump me? That's so...

Oh my God, what did you do? I gave him the thing. Right, and he bumped us. He bumped us.

It's not even my car. It wasn't even my finger. So the joke's on him. Dave.

I'm not bumping back, baby. No, I am not bumping. I am not bumping in. You got a bump back. Dave Christopher owns a car shop.

Fixing the dentist is no big deal for you guys because you're big strong. Carf fixing boys.

You gave the finger, we get the finger. He bumped, we bumped. He spins out of control. We've been out of control.

See, see, she gets it? You don't bump. It's screws up the cheek. Dave, a cow. That doesn't work every time.

I want even though that I'm very proud of you for leaving this guy alone. Right?

Uh-huh. Because I like the feeling that I have when I'm proud of you. Can you keep it for a while? Uh-huh.

I drive on controlling my anger. On my girlfriend, it'lls my ear. And the guy stalks us for 10 miles. I change lanes. He changes lanes.

I speed up. He speeds up. I slow down. He slows down.

And I'm thinking this guy is a total copycat.

So I pull over to the side of the road to give this whack job a 10 mile cycle buffer.

I mean, I could have taken him, but...

Great. There's a dent in dad's car.

Now, I have to shove a dent in car up dad's ass.

Because it's a birthday, I love him. Blah blah blah. You let him get away. Dave is it worth putting our lives at risk because of a little fender bender. I'd rather die than let a wait just think I owe up my scaldments.

It was California, Lotion! Dave, Dave, co! You must have very little regard for me.

There's no car. There's nothing. Well, we're sitting here, hoping for a cow. Dad is sitting alone in a bar, getting matter and matter.

Alcohol running through his veins surrounded by people who have opinions that are different than his. Oh my god.

Say that again. Leave my dad waiting in a public place long enough. He'll start to interact with the public.

One more time. John Club Van Dam would kick, clet Eastwoods ass.

Coug.

Mr. Titus is going to be so pissed we are late. He's probably telling that but you know, Tommy, he's a hernopherdy.

I'm not.

Well, Tommy, we're half an hour late because of someone's finger.

Oh, but we're another half an hour late because somebody's here had to be bouncy. Finger.

Boats of finger. Boats of finger.

It's a finger. Isn't that what they called you a cam? Shut up!

Oh my god. The bunny costume. Oh, relax. It was Easter. No. It wasn't.

I think I'm flashing enough. Well, it looks like. Oh, it can't be. It's our cycle. Oh, oh, oh.

All right. Wait for us. Don't do anything. No, we did. Don't do it. Didn't do anything. Now we're doing it.

When one withholds emotional agitation, commonly referred to as anger.

It will frequently manifest itself in physiological ways.

Alcers, migraines, blurred vision. I can't read this!

No! No!

Who?

Don't. Hey, I'm just going to talk to him.

Get his insurance information for the dead.

No, you're not. You're going to beat the crap out of him. Honey, if that's what you want. Okay, damn it. I'm with her. Tommy, you coming? Yeah, you man or bunny. Okay, let's do it. It's not a good ass kicking makes the love in that much sweeter. Wait, wait, wait. I got to take off my jacket first and my tie. My mother gave me this tie. Tell us. You saved me some out of peace, son. What's the point?

Tommy, Tommy, they're coming back. Oh, damn. What happened? What happened? He hasn't gone. He said what? He's a good.

What makes that guy think that he can threaten us with the gut? He has a gut. No, no, no. This is not how civilization works. People don't take out guns just because you pull over in the side of the road. Agreed. Guys? Yeah, my goodness.

He, you should have smacked him. You should have hit him. You're shed to take him away. He's got it because he is a bully and he needs to be pit slabs.

Okay, any other ideas, guys? I think we should do something about gun control in this country. Right now?

It should be a lot. Everybody in America should have to own a gun. In fact, if you get caught outside your house without your gun, you get a ticket. And they shoot you in the leg.

Just to make their point. If we all had guns, there'd be no more car jacking. Get out of the car.

Get out of the street.

Bag boys would be a lot more thoughtful.

It's can goods, then bread.

I have a coupon.

People in general would just be a lot more thoughtful. No cuts. I want everybody to get behind this plan. I need your support. Because the first couple years, a lot of us are gonna die. You got to write out the rough spots. Come on. You threatened my family with a gun and that's the last thing you'll ever do. Yeah, break.

What are you doing? I got some for you. You got something to beat you up.

I got throw an apple out of him.

Aaron's Irish. Given Irish woman, Iraq, a repeater, fruit, somebody's going down.

Buddy, Buddy, you throw apple. He shoots bullets. Do you see the strategic arms gap we have here?

Oh, he's not gunna shoot that thing in us.

Hey, hey, there's a hitch I can't bear. Why do you have a gun?

I know what I'm meant. Go faster. I know what you're giving this car to your dad because it sucks. Yeah, great birthday present. Titus. What did you get it? I got him a cell phone. You've got a cell phone? Oh, man. Don't tell me you got him one, too. Give me a cell phone. Oh, I got a phone. Oh, man. Don't tell me you got him one, too. Give me a cell phone. Oh, stop you birthday. No, no, no, no, no. Don't go. Oh, I got a phone. Oh, I'll make the call. Make the call. Make the call.

They're using calls on TV sometimes. Okay, this ringing. They're answering. Oh, come on.

I want one operator. What's your emergency, sir? I'm Dave. What's your emergency? Dave. There's a guy chasing us with a gun. Has he fired the weapon?

He's just going to be on TV because I like to send a shout-out to Susanne.

You're going to be on TV, sir. What is going on? Are you okay, sir? We're on I-5 being chased by a guy with a gun. Where are you on I-5, man?

Where are we on I-5? Where? Between Mexico and Canada.

He's shooting at us. Please hurry.

They wanted to keep the phone on so they can track us. Next exit, 30 miles.

And we'll find them in danger. I can get away. I can duck. I can run. I can serpentine. But if the people I love are in danger, what if I can't protect them? No, there's nothing I can do but worry. Thank you very much, people I love.

He never adopted me. What? Dad. He never legally adopted me. Okay. Why are you bringing this up now? Is it a gun chasing us? Yeah, this one bring it up. I'm going to die without a father. Dad's going to be an orphan.

Dave, you're my brother, your his son. Come on. He destroyed your self-esteem. Same as mine. He put your naked butt on the internet. I mean, people can log onto your ass. There's a Dave's ass, chat room, because of dad. That doesn't say love. I don't know what does. I never thought of it that way.

I never got to sleep with Aaron.

What? I have thoughts?

Should have taken now into the grave.

And I am so telling you, wait, Tris.

Oh, who cares? By now she thinks I'm a hermaphrodetic drag queen in a bunniesuit.

I never got to see Ireland.

Honey, you never got to see San Diego.

That helps.

We're looking at death here. But guys, come on. We're not looking at that stop. This is stupid. Okay? We all have just appointments. We're going to live to have more. Oh, of course. You have no regrets, Mr. I slept with Aaron. Hey.

I have regrets. I never bought a boat, I never owned a house, I never had a kid.

We drove in silence for five minutes. Five minutes is a long time when you'd be in chase by a guy with a gun. And you just told your girlfriend that you want to have a baby. The cops are here. Where were they five minutes ago? He passed the cops five miles down the road. They got the guy pulled over.

All the cops are out of the cars and they have their guns pointed right at his head.

Turned to Aaron and I said, now throw the apple.

Man, I hope dad waited. Where is? Oh, God. Oh, hey, hey. You can still stuff the car up his butt.

No, there is that. I already ate. You owe me 40 bucks.

We'll get chased by a guy in the road. I got him. He shot my ass.

Steremi the layman's queues. Just say your sorry and parked his piece of crap behind the restaurant.

Where'd you get this anyway? Looks like an old man's car. Cheese.

Dave, the cell phone from both of us.

Hey, honey. Don't he? Isn't that your waitress walking off a day? Oh, my God.

Dippy! Dippy! Oh, man. I love screwing with him. He's so easy. Dave, count. Where?

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

I know. I am so sorry. I cannot act like a 17-year-old kid anymore.

Okay? So, I want you to know that you're looking at a full grown adult who is never going to blow his temper ever again.

Honey, say something. Do you really want to have a baby?

I've learned to control my anger. The guy chasing us, he had a glock nine and a 44, locked and loaded. A glock nine

and a 17-year-old 17-year-old. Is that what we've come to? I piss you off in traffic. You need 17-year-old 17-year-old.

Oh, forgot to use my blinker. Sorry, man. Can't we bring a baby into a world like that?

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Damn it!

I'm the funny one.

No, I'm the funny one.

I'm the funny one.