Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:07,732 --> 00:00:10,657
[Marge] Hustle your
bustle, kids, we got to go!
2
00:00:10,678 --> 00:00:12,919
[munching angrily]
3
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:14,755
Our day is packed
with doctor visits.
4
00:00:14,849 --> 00:00:18,850
So wrap up your angry food
shoveling and get in the car.
5
00:00:19,001 --> 00:00:22,228
Oh, this is gonna be a long day.
6
00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:25,582
- Oh, I hope so.
- Huh?
7
00:00:25,600 --> 00:00:27,600
Don't you get it?
This is a setup.
8
00:00:27,695 --> 00:00:30,603
Mom and Dad told us we're
gonna have the worst day ever,
9
00:00:30,698 --> 00:00:35,759
which means we're really
going to have the best day ever.
10
00:00:35,851 --> 00:00:37,851
- Wha...?
- You and I are about to be
11
00:00:37,945 --> 00:00:39,521
the stars of a "Mom-and-Dad
12
00:00:39,615 --> 00:00:43,357
in-car bait-and-switch" video.
- Guh?
13
00:00:43,435 --> 00:00:46,545
[groans] Put down your books
and read a phone sometime.
14
00:00:47,622 --> 00:00:49,956
[mother] You ready to
go get your new braces?
15
00:00:50,051 --> 00:00:51,274
Guess so.
16
00:00:51,368 --> 00:00:53,109
[mother] Well,
we're not doing that.
17
00:00:53,203 --> 00:00:55,036
We're taking you to Krustyland!
18
00:00:55,130 --> 00:00:56,280
Yay!
19
00:00:56,372 --> 00:00:58,798
We're not sprinkling
Grandma's ashes today.
20
00:00:58,893 --> 00:01:00,801
We're going to Krustyland!
21
00:01:00,877 --> 00:01:02,710
[both] Yay!
22
00:01:02,804 --> 00:01:04,620
We're not going to Krustyland.
23
00:01:04,713 --> 00:01:06,623
We're going to church.
24
00:01:06,625 --> 00:01:08,150
[both] Yay!
25
00:01:10,144 --> 00:01:11,736
So Mom and Dad are punking us,
26
00:01:11,963 --> 00:01:14,147
and this is really
gonna be a fun thing?
27
00:01:14,224 --> 00:01:17,484
Exactly, we are getting funk'd.
28
00:01:17,635 --> 00:01:18,560
[car horn honks]
29
00:01:18,653 --> 00:01:20,194
[both] Krustyland.
30
00:01:21,230 --> 00:01:24,307
We're almost at
"the medical center."
31
00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:28,402
I hope I'm tall enough
to ride the EKG machine.
32
00:01:28,421 --> 00:01:29,921
[both laugh]
33
00:01:29,998 --> 00:01:31,757
[Homer] We're here.
34
00:01:31,984 --> 00:01:34,668
[laughter]
35
00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:35,835
[Lisa screams]
36
00:01:35,930 --> 00:01:36,837
Wha...?
37
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:39,156
This is a doctor's office.
38
00:01:39,158 --> 00:01:40,674
There was no bait and switch.
39
00:01:40,768 --> 00:01:41,933
It was all bait!
40
00:01:42,161 --> 00:01:43,993
No, no. This is Krustyland.
41
00:01:44,087 --> 00:01:45,162
It has to be.
42
00:01:45,254 --> 00:01:46,979
I'm going on the roller coaster.
43
00:01:48,334 --> 00:01:49,591
Whee!
44
00:01:49,685 --> 00:01:52,277
Whee... ze.
45
00:01:52,429 --> 00:01:54,947
Which doctor are
you here to see?
46
00:01:55,174 --> 00:01:56,840
- All of them.
- Like most Americans,
47
00:01:56,932 --> 00:02:00,786
our insurance is terrible
and has a giant deductible.
48
00:02:01,013 --> 00:02:02,695
Which we just met yesterday.
49
00:02:02,790 --> 00:02:04,623
Thank you, kidney stones.
50
00:02:04,700 --> 00:02:05,849
[groans]
51
00:02:05,942 --> 00:02:08,200
And our new insurance
year starts tomorrow.
52
00:02:08,294 --> 00:02:10,704
So today is the only
day that everything's free.
53
00:02:10,798 --> 00:02:14,466
So we're doing a whole year
of medical stuff in one day.
54
00:02:14,693 --> 00:02:17,117
Look, I went to the
Krustyland snack bar!
55
00:02:17,211 --> 00:02:19,528
I got 20cc's of
super silly saline.
56
00:02:19,622 --> 00:02:22,032
[giggling] Hey-hey!
57
00:02:22,125 --> 00:02:24,550
♪ It's not about the
money, money, money ♪
58
00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:26,627
♪ We don't need your
money, money, money ♪
59
00:02:26,722 --> 00:02:29,981
♪ We just want to
make the world dance ♪
60
00:02:30,133 --> 00:02:32,558
♪ Forget about the price tag ♪
61
00:02:32,652 --> 00:02:35,319
♪ Ain't about the, uh,
cha-ching, cha-ching ♪
62
00:02:35,396 --> 00:02:39,139
♪ Ain't about the, yeah,
ba-bling, ba-bling ♪
63
00:02:39,234 --> 00:02:40,807
♪ Want to make the world dance ♪
64
00:02:40,902 --> 00:02:43,569
♪ Forget about the price tag ♪
65
00:02:43,722 --> 00:02:46,573
♪ It's not about the
money, money, money ♪
66
00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:49,334
♪ We don't need your
money, money, money ♪
67
00:02:49,561 --> 00:02:52,503
♪ We just want to make
the world dance... ♪
68
00:02:52,656 --> 00:02:55,656
What a productive,
unpleasant day.
69
00:02:55,751 --> 00:02:58,918
We've got to get one
nice thing out of this day.
70
00:02:59,013 --> 00:03:01,253
At least take us out for treats.
71
00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:02,756
Treats it is.
72
00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:05,574
We'll even get one for
Maggie for getting her eye test.
73
00:03:05,593 --> 00:03:09,271
♪ Yeah! ♪
74
00:03:11,432 --> 00:03:15,769
One Mandalorian Mango
Jango with 3-CP-Oat milk.
75
00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:17,753
That's $6.99.
76
00:03:17,847 --> 00:03:19,256
[beeps]
77
00:03:19,348 --> 00:03:21,533
Enter your tip and sign here.
78
00:03:23,037 --> 00:03:25,110
[whimpering]
79
00:03:25,264 --> 00:03:27,597
Oh, fine.
80
00:03:27,691 --> 00:03:29,498
[muttering]
81
00:03:32,954 --> 00:03:34,287
You want a tip?
82
00:03:34,439 --> 00:03:36,048
It's self-serve. We
did all the work.
83
00:03:36,275 --> 00:03:39,134
Hey, that iPad
didn't swivel itself.
84
00:03:41,612 --> 00:03:42,612
[groans]
85
00:03:42,706 --> 00:03:44,473
[beeping]
86
00:03:46,134 --> 00:03:47,643
- [beeping continues]
- [groans]
87
00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:51,103
[groans]
88
00:03:52,974 --> 00:03:54,640
- [groans]
- [beeping continues]
89
00:03:54,793 --> 00:03:55,641
[panting]
90
00:03:55,793 --> 00:03:57,293
Dad, are you all right?
91
00:03:57,387 --> 00:04:00,479
Oh, I just suffered death
by a thousand swipes,
92
00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:03,282
but at least now
it's time for my treat.
93
00:04:06,487 --> 00:04:08,305
Here's your Literary
Sampler Platter.
94
00:04:08,397 --> 00:04:10,824
Chicken Tenders is the
Night, A Farewell to Parms,
95
00:04:10,918 --> 00:04:12,918
Occurrence at Owl Creek Ribs.
96
00:04:13,145 --> 00:04:17,663
Mmm... fried references.
97
00:04:17,757 --> 00:04:19,240
My shift's ending,
98
00:04:19,334 --> 00:04:20,552
so I'll just leave
this with you.
99
00:04:20,576 --> 00:04:21,668
[groans]
100
00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:24,653
Better get my "figuring
out the tip" glasses.
101
00:04:24,747 --> 00:04:27,749
Wouldn't be a meal if it
didn't end with a math test.
102
00:04:28,435 --> 00:04:30,994
The service fee is
already included?
103
00:04:31,086 --> 00:04:32,345
I'm outraged!
104
00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:33,512
But also relieved.
105
00:04:33,665 --> 00:04:35,305
At least nobody's
leaning over my shoulder
106
00:04:35,500 --> 00:04:37,000
to shame me into leaving a tip.
107
00:04:37,093 --> 00:04:39,185
Actually, there is
room at the bottom
108
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,004
for an additional gratuity.
109
00:04:41,096 --> 00:04:43,197
Right next to where
I pre-thanked you.
110
00:04:45,026 --> 00:04:47,511
What? They include the tip,
111
00:04:47,603 --> 00:04:49,846
and then I have to
tip on top of the tip?
112
00:04:49,848 --> 00:04:51,271
A tip top tip?
113
00:04:51,350 --> 00:04:53,625
Mm. I'll show them.
114
00:04:53,851 --> 00:04:56,369
- [clicks]
- I know that click.
115
00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:59,130
"No. Thank you.
116
00:04:59,281 --> 00:05:02,968
Here's one dollar. Okay?"
117
00:05:03,119 --> 00:05:04,468
We're leaving!
118
00:05:09,125 --> 00:05:11,701
Mr. Simpson! Mr. Simpson, wait!
119
00:05:11,702 --> 00:05:13,720
Oh, great. Here's the
part where she says,
120
00:05:13,797 --> 00:05:15,889
"Was there something
wrong with the service?"
121
00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:17,262
And I throw potato skins at her.
122
00:05:17,375 --> 00:05:21,394
Oh, thank you so much,
you wonderful man!
123
00:05:21,487 --> 00:05:23,547
[Marge gasps]
124
00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:26,716
You tipped her $10,000?
125
00:05:26,810 --> 00:05:31,071
No! I tipped her one. "O.K."
126
00:05:31,165 --> 00:05:33,572
Ten K! Ah! [laughs]
127
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:36,242
I've never had this
much money in my life!
128
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:37,485
Us neither.
129
00:05:37,579 --> 00:05:41,322
Yo, this guy just
tipped Sandee $10,000.
130
00:05:41,415 --> 00:05:43,249
You don't know what
this means to me.
131
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:45,067
[cries]
132
00:05:45,161 --> 00:05:46,845
We don't have $10,000.
133
00:05:47,072 --> 00:05:48,922
We don't have
10,000 of anything.
134
00:05:48,997 --> 00:05:50,757
Homer, you have to fix this.
135
00:05:50,834 --> 00:05:53,093
Okay, you're right. I got this.
136
00:05:53,187 --> 00:05:55,353
Excuse me, can I
get that check back?
137
00:05:55,581 --> 00:05:56,646
Why?
138
00:05:57,749 --> 00:05:59,340
[cries] Why?!
139
00:05:59,433 --> 00:06:01,084
- [jeering]
- What a jerk!
140
00:06:01,177 --> 00:06:04,846
Yo, this guy just stole
$10,000 from Sandee.
141
00:06:04,939 --> 00:06:06,012
- Get him.
- [grunts]
142
00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:07,273
[grunting]
143
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:09,701
There was already
a gratuity on the bill.
144
00:06:09,927 --> 00:06:11,536
[grunting]
145
00:06:12,264 --> 00:06:15,374
Why? Why did you
want the check back?
146
00:06:16,692 --> 00:06:20,252
So I can underline the $10,000.
147
00:06:21,382 --> 00:06:22,605
[cheering]
148
00:06:22,699 --> 00:06:26,199
Yo, this guy just
underlined the $10,000-tip
149
00:06:26,293 --> 00:06:28,461
he gave Sandee, get him!
150
00:06:28,613 --> 00:06:30,262
[cheering, whooping]
151
00:06:31,374 --> 00:06:32,374
[groans]
152
00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:39,122
- [cheering]
- Your accidental tip went viral.
153
00:06:39,215 --> 00:06:40,715
The American dream.
154
00:06:40,733 --> 00:06:44,050
Now we'll be in debt
for the rest of our lives!
155
00:06:44,146 --> 00:06:46,312
The American reality.
156
00:06:46,389 --> 00:06:48,740
Look, baby, no one's
madder at me than me,
157
00:06:48,966 --> 00:06:50,316
but me have a plan.
158
00:06:50,411 --> 00:06:53,411
We call the credit card
company, report the card stolen,
159
00:06:53,639 --> 00:06:55,747
and then shave our
heads and join a cult.
160
00:06:55,973 --> 00:06:57,209
One of the ones
where you don't have to
161
00:06:57,233 --> 00:06:58,641
have sex with the leader.
162
00:06:58,659 --> 00:07:00,310
There is no such cult!
163
00:07:00,327 --> 00:07:02,069
You need to go
back to that restaurant
164
00:07:02,163 --> 00:07:04,980
and explain that
this was all a mistake.
165
00:07:05,074 --> 00:07:06,074
I will.
166
00:07:06,168 --> 00:07:07,908
I was gonna go back there anyway
167
00:07:08,002 --> 00:07:11,721
for the bottomless chili fries,
but now I have two reasons.
168
00:07:13,081 --> 00:07:17,101
Okay, time to hit undo
on last night's ten-K typo.
169
00:07:17,995 --> 00:07:20,086
Hey, that's the big tip guy.
170
00:07:20,165 --> 00:07:22,088
Ooh! Can I get an autograph?
171
00:07:22,167 --> 00:07:24,834
Oh, signing things is
what got me into this mess.
172
00:07:24,927 --> 00:07:26,836
Hey! You're the guy on the cover
173
00:07:26,930 --> 00:07:28,687
of the only newspaper
left in the world.
174
00:07:28,839 --> 00:07:31,615
[Homer] I'm in the paper for
something I remember doing.
175
00:07:31,843 --> 00:07:34,100
- Let me get a copy.
- That'll be one dollar.
176
00:07:34,196 --> 00:07:36,680
How much do you
think he's gonna tip?
177
00:07:36,773 --> 00:07:38,622
A lot or a whole lot?
178
00:07:38,850 --> 00:07:40,774
Yarr. I'm putting on me slicker,
179
00:07:40,793 --> 00:07:43,461
'cause he's gonna
splash the cash.
180
00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:46,689
Keep the change, pal.
181
00:07:46,692 --> 00:07:47,915
[cheering]
182
00:07:47,992 --> 00:07:50,526
The most generous man in town.
183
00:07:50,620 --> 00:07:53,137
Until today, I
always felt invisible,
184
00:07:53,365 --> 00:07:54,622
like Wonder Woman's plane
185
00:07:54,699 --> 00:07:57,050
or the guy selling
flowers on the off-ramp.
186
00:07:57,125 --> 00:07:59,144
But for the first
time, I am seen.
187
00:07:59,221 --> 00:08:01,870
It's not that I wasn't
enough, my tips weren't.
188
00:08:01,889 --> 00:08:06,817
Mr. Monopoly was wrong.
You can put a price on money.
189
00:08:06,970 --> 00:08:09,896
From now on, I'm
gonna tip like Ben Affleck
190
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:12,548
and J.Lo's out of town, baby.
191
00:08:12,567 --> 00:08:14,475
[cheering, whooping]
192
00:08:14,552 --> 00:08:17,812
[Quincy Jones' "Soul
Bossa Nova" playing]
193
00:08:17,889 --> 00:08:19,663
♪ ♪
194
00:08:32,738 --> 00:08:34,638
♪ ♪
195
00:08:45,767 --> 00:08:47,859
[music stops]
196
00:08:48,086 --> 00:08:48,934
[snaps]
197
00:08:49,028 --> 00:08:51,196
[music resumes]
198
00:09:00,615 --> 00:09:02,749
[humming "Soul Bossa Nova"]
199
00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:08,288
Marge, I just had
the best day of my life.
200
00:09:08,364 --> 00:09:12,457
They gave my burrito
the most rice of anybody.
201
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:17,096
So that's why I've been
bombarded by overdraft alerts.
202
00:09:19,058 --> 00:09:21,134
Don't worry, honey,
I can make it all right.
203
00:09:21,227 --> 00:09:24,395
Let me show you how to
turn off those notifications.
204
00:09:24,471 --> 00:09:28,265
Homer, we need to
have a serious talk.
205
00:09:28,493 --> 00:09:31,610
Oh, boy, then I'm gonna
need some Mexican courage.
206
00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:35,197
[slurps, gulps]
207
00:09:36,725 --> 00:09:39,076
[sighs] You were supposed
to get our money back,
208
00:09:39,227 --> 00:09:40,745
not give away more.
209
00:09:40,971 --> 00:09:43,807
Your tipping has
gotten out of control.
210
00:09:43,899 --> 00:09:45,808
But it feels so good
to be appreciated.
211
00:09:45,902 --> 00:09:47,326
For once, people
aren't judging me
212
00:09:47,421 --> 00:09:51,663
by the content of my character
but by the content of my wallet.
213
00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:54,259
You wiped out our
savings and put us in debt.
214
00:09:54,485 --> 00:09:56,668
And look what it's
doing to our children.
215
00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:58,412
Dad, where's my bike?
216
00:09:58,432 --> 00:10:00,823
How would I know? I don't
know. You probably lost it.
217
00:10:00,917 --> 00:10:02,508
Dad...
218
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:04,009
I tipped it!
219
00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:05,104
I gave it to my barber
220
00:10:05,330 --> 00:10:07,272
because he cleaned
up my eyebrows.
221
00:10:07,499 --> 00:10:10,091
[crying] I'm so sorry, Bart!
222
00:10:10,168 --> 00:10:12,192
I'm so sorry.
223
00:10:14,188 --> 00:10:15,839
Oh, there, there.
224
00:10:15,932 --> 00:10:17,115
Dad, you have a problem,
225
00:10:17,341 --> 00:10:20,451
but I love you and I'll
always be here for you.
226
00:10:20,678 --> 00:10:22,028
You're a good son.
227
00:10:22,105 --> 00:10:23,696
Here, for your troubles.
228
00:10:23,789 --> 00:10:25,289
- Hey!
- Let this slide
229
00:10:25,517 --> 00:10:27,683
and there's a vacuum
cleaner in it for you.
230
00:10:27,777 --> 00:10:29,943
Homer, this has to stop now!
231
00:10:30,020 --> 00:10:33,038
- Stop it!
- Marge, for once you're right.
232
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:34,539
I have a serious problem.
233
00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:36,875
But, like any addiction,
it can easily be stopped
234
00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:39,361
by just deciding to stop.
235
00:10:39,455 --> 00:10:42,139
I'm going cold
turkey. I swear to you.
236
00:10:42,366 --> 00:10:43,866
I'll never again waste money
237
00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:46,644
trying to fill an
unfillable void.
238
00:10:49,298 --> 00:10:51,832
Exact change? Huh. That's it?
239
00:10:51,893 --> 00:10:53,967
Oh, I really want
to tip you, Moe,
240
00:10:54,062 --> 00:10:56,211
but I promised my wife I'd quit.
241
00:10:56,346 --> 00:10:57,562
Here's a thought, Homer.
242
00:10:57,716 --> 00:10:59,527
Uh, what if you took the
moolah out of your pocket,
243
00:10:59,551 --> 00:11:01,808
but you just stop before
anything happened.
244
00:11:01,903 --> 00:11:04,311
You know, uh,
everything but the tip.
245
00:11:04,405 --> 00:11:07,222
That doesn't seem like
it could lead to anything.
246
00:11:07,225 --> 00:11:09,375
Sure it couldn't.
247
00:11:15,734 --> 00:11:17,750
We shouldn't have done that.
248
00:11:17,826 --> 00:11:20,177
Does that mean
that you want to stop?
249
00:11:20,404 --> 00:11:21,754
No.
250
00:11:21,831 --> 00:11:23,663
[moaning]
251
00:11:23,758 --> 00:11:25,475
It feels so good.
252
00:11:26,411 --> 00:11:28,335
Don't stop, you generous man.
253
00:11:28,837 --> 00:11:30,073
Oh, yeah, give
it to me, big boy.
254
00:11:30,097 --> 00:11:31,392
- You like that?
- Oh, that's the spot.
255
00:11:31,416 --> 00:11:33,249
- I can do this all night.
- Right there.
256
00:11:33,250 --> 00:11:34,485
- Tell me you want it.
- Oh, God!
257
00:11:34,509 --> 00:11:36,027
- Yes! Yes!
- Oh, God! Oh, God!
258
00:11:36,254 --> 00:11:39,114
- Oh, God! Oh, God.
- Yes!
259
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:41,740
I need a new bar.
260
00:11:42,851 --> 00:11:44,110
[grunts] Where you going?
261
00:11:44,261 --> 00:11:45,778
I can't stop tipping, Moe.
262
00:11:45,931 --> 00:11:47,263
I'm hooked on the rush.
263
00:11:47,282 --> 00:11:49,648
I got a monkey on my back,
and he's got his hand out.
264
00:11:49,801 --> 00:11:51,100
But what about us?
265
00:11:51,193 --> 00:11:54,453
No one service worker
can satisfy my needs.
266
00:11:54,605 --> 00:11:57,631
God help me, I'm
a tip-phomaniac.
267
00:11:58,943 --> 00:12:01,094
[slower version of "Soul
Bossa Nova" playing]
268
00:12:03,630 --> 00:12:04,972
[groaning]
269
00:12:29,565 --> 00:12:31,582
♪ ♪
270
00:12:39,667 --> 00:12:41,634
♪ ♪
271
00:12:48,509 --> 00:12:49,917
[crying]
272
00:12:50,010 --> 00:12:52,662
I'm a curse on my family.
273
00:12:52,679 --> 00:12:54,514
They're 20%...
274
00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:56,090
no, 22%...
275
00:12:56,183 --> 00:12:58,485
better off without me.
276
00:12:59,336 --> 00:13:03,239
I'll take my misery to go.
277
00:13:09,029 --> 00:13:10,770
Hey, it's Mr. Generous.
278
00:13:10,865 --> 00:13:12,532
What are you doing here?
279
00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:14,200
I've hit rock bottom
280
00:13:14,293 --> 00:13:16,701
and I need to be with family.
281
00:13:16,797 --> 00:13:19,205
Well, who were those
people you were eating with?
282
00:13:19,298 --> 00:13:21,039
Just my wife and some kids.
283
00:13:21,116 --> 00:13:24,784
My real family are the
people I tip, like you.
284
00:13:24,879 --> 00:13:26,787
You love me, right?
285
00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:29,474
Oh, you poor generous man.
286
00:13:29,701 --> 00:13:31,049
I do love you.
287
00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:33,644
You'll always be welcome here.
288
00:13:34,797 --> 00:13:35,797
[moans]
289
00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:38,982
You love me, right?
290
00:13:39,059 --> 00:13:41,735
- Creep!
- [shouting]
291
00:13:43,548 --> 00:13:44,614
Leave me alone!
292
00:13:45,716 --> 00:13:47,732
So our transaction was just...
293
00:13:47,885 --> 00:13:49,994
transactional?
294
00:14:00,065 --> 00:14:01,154
[coughing]
295
00:14:01,173 --> 00:14:03,006
Am I alive? Is this a dream?
296
00:14:03,234 --> 00:14:04,734
Somebody pinch me.
297
00:14:04,826 --> 00:14:06,235
Ow!
298
00:14:06,328 --> 00:14:08,513
I'm awake, you can stop now.
299
00:14:12,243 --> 00:14:14,576
You saved my life.
300
00:14:14,669 --> 00:14:16,222
Here's a little something
for your troubles.
301
00:14:16,246 --> 00:14:17,671
Why you give me this money?
302
00:14:17,764 --> 00:14:19,581
Fausto no work for crab man.
303
00:14:19,674 --> 00:14:20,765
No, it's a tip.
304
00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:22,418
It's all I know.
305
00:14:22,510 --> 00:14:24,345
And it's destroyed my
marriage and my life.
306
00:14:24,438 --> 00:14:28,441
How I wish I had never
heard of thanking people.
307
00:14:28,592 --> 00:14:29,926
Well, your bloated body
308
00:14:29,943 --> 00:14:31,703
drifted to the right
neighborhood, my friend.
309
00:14:31,763 --> 00:14:33,096
Nobody tips here.
310
00:14:33,097 --> 00:14:34,596
It's forbidden.
311
00:14:34,690 --> 00:14:35,690
No tipping?
312
00:14:35,783 --> 00:14:37,616
What is this amazing place?
313
00:14:37,692 --> 00:14:39,692
Welcome to Little Europe.
314
00:14:39,787 --> 00:14:41,754
♪ ♪
315
00:14:42,956 --> 00:14:44,606
I'm home.
316
00:14:44,700 --> 00:14:46,533
Yi yo yu.
317
00:14:46,628 --> 00:14:49,946
There's no sign of
Homer anywhere.
318
00:14:49,963 --> 00:14:52,206
Okay, the first 24
hours are crucial.
319
00:14:52,299 --> 00:14:54,600
Do you have a recent photo?
320
00:14:56,120 --> 00:14:57,895
Not him. You.
321
00:14:58,123 --> 00:15:00,047
For your dating profile.
322
00:15:00,066 --> 00:15:01,807
- [camera clicks]
- This is good.
323
00:15:01,902 --> 00:15:03,125
You look desperate.
324
00:15:03,219 --> 00:15:04,551
Guys love that.
325
00:15:04,645 --> 00:15:05,736
I don't want to date.
326
00:15:05,964 --> 00:15:07,553
I want to find my husband.
327
00:15:07,649 --> 00:15:09,556
"Marriage minded."
328
00:15:09,650 --> 00:15:10,966
Don't mention the kids.
329
00:15:11,059 --> 00:15:13,152
Bring them up on
date three. [chuckles]
330
00:15:13,245 --> 00:15:15,580
Just before the sex.
331
00:15:15,730 --> 00:15:16,972
Oh, my God.
332
00:15:17,066 --> 00:15:18,899
We only have two and
a half dates to find Dad.
333
00:15:18,993 --> 00:15:20,585
At least we know he's alive.
334
00:15:20,812 --> 00:15:22,568
He's ordering things on Amazon.
335
00:15:22,663 --> 00:15:24,496
A universal power adapter.
336
00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:25,981
Bicycle pants clips.
337
00:15:26,075 --> 00:15:27,926
12-pack of fanny packs?
338
00:15:28,153 --> 00:15:30,595
Case of cologne, but no soap.
339
00:15:30,672 --> 00:15:33,413
I know exactly where he is.
340
00:15:33,508 --> 00:15:35,515
[humming]
341
00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:37,602
Dad?
342
00:15:37,828 --> 00:15:39,010
Hola, mes petite...
343
00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:40,495
how you say? children.
344
00:15:40,588 --> 00:15:43,274
Give your papi a
European handshake.
345
00:15:43,426 --> 00:15:45,835
[smooching]
346
00:15:45,927 --> 00:15:47,946
What are you doing
in Little Europe?
347
00:15:48,173 --> 00:15:49,596
I'm going to five
different shops
348
00:15:49,691 --> 00:15:52,658
to get the ingredients
to make one sandwich.
349
00:15:54,361 --> 00:15:57,621
One smear of your
brownest mustard, Jorge.
350
00:16:03,687 --> 00:16:06,630
That'll be three
deutsche-lira and 99 pence.
351
00:16:06,857 --> 00:16:08,691
And not a franc more.
352
00:16:08,783 --> 00:16:09,967
Mom's a total mess.
353
00:16:10,195 --> 00:16:11,469
You've got to come home.
354
00:16:11,696 --> 00:16:12,971
This is my home now.
355
00:16:13,197 --> 00:16:14,529
I can live a happy life here,
356
00:16:14,623 --> 00:16:16,975
free from the
demon of generosity.
357
00:16:17,201 --> 00:16:18,533
So this is all about tipping?
358
00:16:18,626 --> 00:16:21,386
No, it's about the
European mindset
359
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:22,980
of not tipping.
360
00:16:23,875 --> 00:16:26,234
♪ ♪
361
00:16:51,494 --> 00:16:53,260
♪ Let's look, can't you see? ♪
362
00:16:58,667 --> 00:17:00,058
♪ That's money ♪
363
00:17:35,538 --> 00:17:37,096
♪ That's Bart ♪
364
00:17:39,616 --> 00:17:41,058
♪ That's fair ♪
365
00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:48,641
Dad, this place is amazing.
366
00:17:48,734 --> 00:17:50,401
I know.
367
00:17:50,627 --> 00:17:52,903
If only Springfield
was like this,
368
00:17:53,131 --> 00:17:54,411
then I could go back to your mom
369
00:17:54,632 --> 00:17:57,741
without my addiction
destroying the family.
370
00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:02,137
Dad, if you came back with us,
371
00:18:02,230 --> 00:18:03,806
you could change things.
372
00:18:03,898 --> 00:18:07,476
You could inspire everyone
to make Springfield like here.
373
00:18:07,569 --> 00:18:10,237
You really think Americans
can learn something
374
00:18:10,330 --> 00:18:12,256
from the country of Europe?
375
00:18:12,482 --> 00:18:14,759
Not just learn it, but
steal it and call it our own.
376
00:18:14,986 --> 00:18:16,986
Like pizza or fascism.
377
00:18:17,078 --> 00:18:19,171
I'll do it to heal our family.
378
00:18:19,298 --> 00:18:21,098
Let's grab an early
dinner at 10:00 p.m.,
379
00:18:21,250 --> 00:18:23,060
then ride the mini-Chunnel
back to Springfield.
380
00:18:23,085 --> 00:18:25,176
I'm going to take my
message to the people
381
00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:27,480
who tipping affects the most.
382
00:18:28,607 --> 00:18:31,108
[announcer] Live from the
Servers Of America Guild Theater.
383
00:18:31,336 --> 00:18:34,353
It's the 75th Annual SAG Awards.
384
00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:35,503
[cheering]
385
00:18:36,782 --> 00:18:40,300
Hello, my name is Gary, and I'll
be your presenter this evening.
386
00:18:40,377 --> 00:18:41,527
- [grunts]
- Friends,
387
00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:43,103
waiters, pepper-grinders,
388
00:18:43,197 --> 00:18:44,846
lend me your ears.
389
00:18:44,940 --> 00:18:46,682
My name is Homer Simpson
390
00:18:46,775 --> 00:18:48,851
and I am addicted to tipping.
391
00:18:48,943 --> 00:18:50,519
It was a compulsion so powerful
392
00:18:50,613 --> 00:18:53,297
that I ran away from
the woman I love.
393
00:18:54,692 --> 00:18:57,375
Well, I'm here to tell
you there's a better way.
394
00:18:57,470 --> 00:19:01,364
What if all restaurant workers
were paid a living wage?
395
00:19:01,382 --> 00:19:03,307
That way you wouldn't
have to rely on tips,
396
00:19:03,534 --> 00:19:06,810
and diners would know
how much everything costs.
397
00:19:06,961 --> 00:19:09,480
Get rid of tips and
live a better life.
398
00:19:09,707 --> 00:19:10,981
Who's with me?
399
00:19:11,133 --> 00:19:12,391
[cheering]
400
00:19:12,542 --> 00:19:15,059
My fellow wait-staff,
this man is right.
401
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:18,713
We can, we shall, we must,
402
00:19:18,807 --> 00:19:20,773
serve justice
403
00:19:20,884 --> 00:19:23,067
with a side of equanimity.
404
00:19:23,163 --> 00:19:25,144
No substitutions.
405
00:19:25,239 --> 00:19:26,905
[audience cheering]
406
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,750
♪ ♪
407
00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:36,915
Get rid of tips and
live a better life.
408
00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:38,659
Who's with me?
409
00:19:38,736 --> 00:19:40,920
[booing]
410
00:19:40,996 --> 00:19:42,421
Get rid of tips?
411
00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:45,164
Well, that's how I decide
whose food not to spit in.
412
00:19:45,259 --> 00:19:47,242
This is the worst
idea in our industry
413
00:19:47,244 --> 00:19:49,019
since tableside guacamole.
414
00:19:49,096 --> 00:19:52,022
Yo! The guy who
tipped Sandee $10,000
415
00:19:52,250 --> 00:19:54,767
is trying to take away
our tips. Get him!
416
00:19:54,861 --> 00:19:57,694
[Homer grunting]
417
00:19:57,846 --> 00:19:59,363
This time it's
happening for real!
418
00:19:59,589 --> 00:20:01,490
[grunting]
419
00:20:02,851 --> 00:20:05,094
I can't believe I didn't
fundamentally change
420
00:20:05,186 --> 00:20:08,096
the service economy with
one awards show speech.
421
00:20:08,190 --> 00:20:10,782
Oh, Homie, I know
it's hard for you
422
00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:13,117
to be generous, but you tried.
423
00:20:13,270 --> 00:20:15,028
And I'm not going
to hold it against you
424
00:20:15,048 --> 00:20:16,696
for taking it too far.
425
00:20:16,715 --> 00:20:19,365
Seeing you bare your
soul on that stage tonight,
426
00:20:19,460 --> 00:20:21,777
it gave me an idea
for how we can fix
427
00:20:21,869 --> 00:20:26,097
our money problems and
confront your addiction to tipping.
428
00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:29,117
Hello, my name is Homer.
429
00:20:29,119 --> 00:20:31,287
And I'll be your server tonight.
430
00:20:31,380 --> 00:20:32,875
Would you like still
or sparkling water?
431
00:20:32,898 --> 00:20:34,213
Just tap.
432
00:20:34,291 --> 00:20:35,732
And more free bread.
433
00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:37,401
[groans] Oh...
434
00:20:37,627 --> 00:20:39,364
Captioning sponsored by 20th
CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
435
00:20:39,387 --> 00:20:40,886
and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
436
00:20:40,981 --> 00:20:42,405
and TOYOTA.
437
00:20:42,633 --> 00:20:44,792
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
438
00:20:49,323 --> 00:20:51,640
♪ Little E.U., Little E.U. ♪
439
00:20:51,642 --> 00:20:53,976
♪ Little E.U. is the place
to be in the party now ♪
440
00:20:54,068 --> 00:20:56,753
♪ Flat price ♪
441
00:20:56,830 --> 00:20:58,923
♪ I'm sane, so sane ♪
442
00:20:59,074 --> 00:21:00,982
♪ Sir, can't you see? ♪
443
00:21:01,076 --> 00:21:02,316
♪ Let's look, can't you see? ♪
444
00:21:02,487 --> 00:21:05,003
♪ Our health care is free ♪
445
00:21:05,097 --> 00:21:08,173
♪ And they pay us enough ♪
446
00:21:08,250 --> 00:21:09,340
♪ That's money! ♪
447
00:21:09,434 --> 00:21:12,344
♪ To just hand you your stuff ♪
448
00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:13,104
♪ That stuff ♪
449
00:21:13,330 --> 00:21:15,105
♪ Lots of stuff ♪
450
00:21:15,333 --> 00:21:18,090
♪ Don't give us more
math to do, math to do ♪
451
00:21:18,184 --> 00:21:20,111
♪ Let's go! ♪
452
00:21:20,337 --> 00:21:22,929
♪ The printed price
is all that's due ♪
453
00:21:23,097 --> 00:21:24,097
♪ That's fair! ♪
454
00:21:24,191 --> 00:21:25,598
♪ When you're in Little E.U. ♪
455
00:21:25,675 --> 00:21:27,617
♪ That's the
place, E.U., baby! ♪
456
00:21:27,845 --> 00:21:29,662
Shh!
32040
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Uighur
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof