Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:39,415
That's a great shot.
Smile.
2
00:01:39,483 --> 00:01:40,650
Ohh.
3
00:01:41,852 --> 00:01:44,888
Oh, Arthur, I've never
been so happy in my life.
4
00:01:44,955 --> 00:01:47,957
If our marriage ended
tomorrow, I have no regrets.
5
00:01:48,025 --> 00:01:50,209
Good to know.
6
00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:53,096
Holly, how are you?
7
00:01:53,164 --> 00:01:54,296
Hi, Veronica.
Hi, Arthur.
8
00:01:54,364 --> 00:01:56,432
Congratulations.
9
00:01:56,500 --> 00:01:57,968
Look at you.
You're pregnant.
10
00:01:58,035 --> 00:02:00,303
No, no. I made
that mistake before.
11
00:02:00,371 --> 00:02:02,672
She has
an eating disorder.
12
00:02:02,739 --> 00:02:04,406
Oh, no, no.
I actually am pregnant.
13
00:02:04,474 --> 00:02:06,659
Oh, wonderful. So, where's your husband?
14
00:02:06,727 --> 00:02:08,094
Uh, yeah. Where is he?
15
00:02:08,161 --> 00:02:10,597
Uh, he must've gone
to the men's room.
16
00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:13,550
Oh, that's where Arthur
proposed to me.
17
00:02:13,617 --> 00:02:15,518
Oh. I've had
that happen, yeah.
18
00:02:15,586 --> 00:02:17,853
Actually, it was more
of a porta-potty.
19
00:02:17,921 --> 00:02:19,455
But anyway,
congratulations.
20
00:02:19,523 --> 00:02:20,923
Thank you, sweetheart.
21
00:02:26,947 --> 00:02:28,197
Carrie, congratulations.
22
00:02:28,265 --> 00:02:29,498
Thank you, Lou.
23
00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:31,000
It's a happy day,
isn't it?
24
00:02:31,068 --> 00:02:33,018
Yes, very happy day.
25
00:02:40,393 --> 00:02:41,077
Hello.
26
00:02:41,144 --> 00:02:42,528
Hey.
27
00:02:42,596 --> 00:02:44,313
You're lookin' well.
28
00:02:44,381 --> 00:02:46,715
I, uh, like
the new highlights.
29
00:02:47,985 --> 00:02:49,018
Thank you.
30
00:02:49,086 --> 00:02:50,803
Look, Danny,
I know things got ugly
31
00:02:50,870 --> 00:02:52,371
between us
when I moved out,
32
00:02:52,439 --> 00:02:54,006
and that-
that was my fault,
33
00:02:54,074 --> 00:02:55,975
and I just wanna say
I'm sorry.
34
00:02:56,042 --> 00:02:57,893
Hey, man, don't worry
about it, buddy, all right?
35
00:02:57,961 --> 00:03:01,280
Good. Well, now that, you know,
Arthur's marrying my mom,
36
00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:04,383
um, he's probably gonna
be taking, uh, my bed
37
00:03:04,452 --> 00:03:06,719
since it's same as hers,
38
00:03:06,787 --> 00:03:10,657
so I was wondering
if maybe I could...
39
00:03:10,724 --> 00:03:12,492
Move back...
40
00:03:13,477 --> 00:03:14,611
Who's this?
41
00:03:14,678 --> 00:03:17,846
This is, uh, Sandy,
my new girlfriend
42
00:03:17,914 --> 00:03:20,716
and roommate.
43
00:03:20,784 --> 00:03:22,635
Roommate? That's...
44
00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:23,903
Great.
45
00:03:23,971 --> 00:03:25,588
Yeah, I moved in
last week.
46
00:03:25,656 --> 00:03:27,223
Oh, I had to pack up
some of your stuff
47
00:03:27,291 --> 00:03:30,259
to make some room
in the closet, mostly...
48
00:03:30,327 --> 00:03:32,629
Magazines.
49
00:03:32,696 --> 00:03:35,765
Yeah, those are for a research
project about Thailand,
50
00:03:35,832 --> 00:03:37,300
with, um...
51
00:03:40,337 --> 00:03:42,205
Hey, Spence,
congratulations.
52
00:03:42,273 --> 00:03:43,356
Oh. Thanks, Lou.
53
00:03:43,423 --> 00:03:44,641
Happy day, isn't it?
54
00:03:44,708 --> 00:03:45,909
Very happy. Um,
55
00:03:45,976 --> 00:03:48,611
would you excuse me
for a second?
56
00:03:54,918 --> 00:03:56,685
Doug?
57
00:03:56,753 --> 00:03:57,836
Spencer!
58
00:03:57,904 --> 00:04:00,139
Hey, buddy,
party's out here.
59
00:04:00,207 --> 00:04:02,608
Let me just get you
set up, man.
60
00:04:02,676 --> 00:04:04,710
I gotta
get you set up.
61
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:08,113
Ah.
There you go, buddy.
62
00:04:08,181 --> 00:04:10,216
Sit down. Sit down.
Oh, God.
63
00:04:10,284 --> 00:04:11,050
Hey.
64
00:04:11,117 --> 00:04:13,236
What-wh-what are you
doing out here?
65
00:04:13,303 --> 00:04:15,972
Just celebratin'
my freedom.
66
00:04:17,141 --> 00:04:19,458
Carrie and I are
gettin' a divorce.
67
00:04:19,526 --> 00:04:20,760
What?!
68
00:04:20,827 --> 00:04:22,645
Mm-hmm.
Turns out she kept
69
00:04:22,713 --> 00:04:24,914
her apartment
in Manhattan,
70
00:04:24,981 --> 00:04:28,318
so split 'em up!
71
00:04:28,385 --> 00:04:30,653
Doug, I have
a confession to make.
72
00:04:30,721 --> 00:04:34,657
I'm the one that called and told
you she was still in the apartment.
73
00:04:34,725 --> 00:04:35,791
Oh, yeah?
Yeah, I-
74
00:04:35,826 --> 00:04:38,477
I thought I was
in love with her.
75
00:04:38,545 --> 00:04:43,716
But-but I realize now it was because
things weren't going well at home, and...
76
00:04:44,718 --> 00:04:47,553
Now that's gone, too.
77
00:04:48,956 --> 00:04:52,224
You are one sweet...
78
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:55,227
Creepy little dude.
79
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:58,781
Hey, if you wanna move
in with me, that's cool.
80
00:04:58,849 --> 00:05:00,133
Really?
81
00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:01,617
You mean it?
82
00:05:01,685 --> 00:05:04,036
Hell to the yeah!
83
00:05:04,104 --> 00:05:07,039
I know I mess
with you a lot, but...
84
00:05:07,107 --> 00:05:11,444
The truth is I love you more
than any of my other friends.
85
00:05:11,511 --> 00:05:13,396
Well, thanks, Doug.
86
00:05:13,463 --> 00:05:17,066
I- you know, y-you've always
been kind of a hero to me.
87
00:05:17,134 --> 00:05:18,768
I am not a hero!
88
00:05:18,836 --> 00:05:19,668
I'll kill you!
89
00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:22,221
Ok, I didn't-
90
00:05:22,289 --> 00:05:24,256
I didn't
mean anything by it.
91
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:26,008
And now I love you.
92
00:05:26,076 --> 00:05:27,643
Come on.
Let's wrestle.
93
00:05:30,113 --> 00:05:34,384
Aw, kel, I can't believe
I screwed everything up.
94
00:05:34,451 --> 00:05:38,454
One moment of weakness, and I
lost my husband, my ming Mel.
95
00:05:40,757 --> 00:05:41,824
He really
won't forgive you?
96
00:05:41,892 --> 00:05:43,560
No, and who can
blame him?
97
00:05:43,627 --> 00:05:45,261
I mean,
I didn't show him
98
00:05:45,328 --> 00:05:46,429
the commitment
he deserves,
99
00:05:46,496 --> 00:05:47,864
and that is just
unforgivable.
100
00:05:47,932 --> 00:05:50,700
Yeah, well, he's let you down
lots of times.
101
00:05:50,768 --> 00:05:52,051
Yeah, but nothing
like this.
102
00:05:52,119 --> 00:05:53,986
What about when he
faked a heart attack
103
00:05:54,054 --> 00:05:56,905
because he forgot
your boss' name?
104
00:05:58,675 --> 00:06:00,142
That wasn't a big deal.
105
00:06:00,210 --> 00:06:04,413
What about when he used your tax
refund to buy an ice-cream truck?
106
00:06:04,481 --> 00:06:06,415
Yeah, but that
was my fault.
107
00:06:06,483 --> 00:06:09,084
I shouldn't have left
the check lying around.
108
00:06:09,152 --> 00:06:13,088
What about when you had to
cancel your birthday trip to Paris
109
00:06:13,156 --> 00:06:17,393
because he was a semifinalist
in a bladder bust contest?
110
00:06:17,461 --> 00:06:20,063
Yeah, that was
a kick in the chiclets.
111
00:06:20,130 --> 00:06:22,181
Folks, we have a very
special treat for you tonight.
112
00:06:22,248 --> 00:06:25,301
Our beautiful bride is gonna sing
one of her hit records for us.
113
00:06:25,369 --> 00:06:26,752
So please welcome
to the stage
114
00:06:26,770 --> 00:06:29,087
the very lovely and talented
Ava St. Clair.
115
00:06:30,374 --> 00:06:33,742
I- I'm not Ava St. Clair.
116
00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:35,845
I'm not cliff robertson,
but that didn't stop me
117
00:06:35,913 --> 00:06:38,014
from signing my meals
to his hotel room.
118
00:06:38,082 --> 00:06:39,315
Now get up there.
119
00:06:40,617 --> 00:06:43,169
So would you care
for garden or Caesar?
120
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:44,503
Uh, garden salad,
please.
121
00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:47,874
And would you know if
there's anyone sitting there?
122
00:06:47,941 --> 00:06:49,875
Yeah, my husband.
Heh heh.
123
00:06:49,943 --> 00:06:52,545
I mean, of course
I have a husband.
124
00:06:52,612 --> 00:06:53,546
Look at me.
125
00:06:55,281 --> 00:06:59,469
Of course. Do you know if he
would like garden or Caesar?
126
00:06:59,536 --> 00:07:01,671
Caesar.
127
00:07:01,739 --> 00:07:04,257
Holly, it's so good
to see you.
128
00:07:04,324 --> 00:07:05,591
Hi, Lou.
129
00:07:05,659 --> 00:07:06,759
Such a happy day.
130
00:07:06,826 --> 00:07:08,394
Oh, God.
131
00:07:20,090 --> 00:07:23,026
This is pornographic.
132
00:07:33,037 --> 00:07:34,687
Aah!
133
00:07:34,755 --> 00:07:36,221
Ohh! Aah!
134
00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:39,358
That-that's 11-4, me.
135
00:07:39,426 --> 00:07:41,027
Let's go.
Hands and knees.
136
00:07:41,094 --> 00:07:43,362
No, I'm not wrestling
with you anymore.
137
00:07:43,430 --> 00:07:45,364
You don't respect
my safe word.
138
00:07:45,432 --> 00:07:47,266
Such a baby.
139
00:07:47,333 --> 00:07:50,335
Hey, holly.
I'm drunk. Are you?
140
00:07:50,403 --> 00:07:51,103
No.
141
00:07:51,171 --> 00:07:54,557
Well, a little.
142
00:07:54,624 --> 00:07:56,109
Hey, hol.
How's it goin'?
143
00:07:56,176 --> 00:07:57,276
Great. Great.
144
00:07:57,344 --> 00:07:58,528
My husband
just left me,
145
00:07:58,595 --> 00:08:02,031
and I'm about to have a baby
with no job and no money,
146
00:08:02,098 --> 00:08:03,666
but other than that,
real good.
147
00:08:03,734 --> 00:08:05,234
I'm splittin' up
with Carrie.
148
00:08:05,302 --> 00:08:07,102
You wanna move in
with me?
149
00:08:07,170 --> 00:08:10,990
Really?
Oh, my God. Yes. Yes.
150
00:08:11,057 --> 00:08:13,876
No, no. You-wait. You said
I could move in with you.
151
00:08:13,943 --> 00:08:16,178
Did I? You're out.
Holly's in.
152
00:08:16,246 --> 00:08:19,515
Doug, I-I can't believe how
kind and generous you're being.
153
00:08:19,583 --> 00:08:22,485
I mean, honestly, I didn't even
think you liked me that much.
154
00:08:22,553 --> 00:08:26,722
No. Truth is, I mean, I love you
more than any of my other friends.
155
00:08:26,790 --> 00:08:28,758
Oh, my God.
156
00:08:28,826 --> 00:08:30,426
Doug, I'm-thank you.
157
00:08:30,493 --> 00:08:32,778
I really needed to hear
something like that right now.
158
00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:33,763
Oh, no problem.
159
00:08:33,831 --> 00:08:35,748
Come on.
Let's wrestle.
160
00:08:36,581 --> 00:08:37,914
Thank you very much.
161
00:08:37,982 --> 00:08:40,216
Now if I could have your
attention, it's time for the toast.
162
00:08:40,284 --> 00:08:42,352
Toasting our groom,
Arthur spooner,
163
00:08:42,419 --> 00:08:45,538
is his best man and
son-in-law, Doug heffernan.
164
00:08:58,102 --> 00:09:00,136
Holly, have you
seen Douglas?
165
00:09:00,204 --> 00:09:02,772
He fell asleep
when we were wrestling.
166
00:09:04,542 --> 00:09:06,843
Well, at least you weren't
under him when it happened.
167
00:09:06,911 --> 00:09:09,779
That was 6 of the most
terrifying hours of my life.
168
00:09:13,618 --> 00:09:15,919
Spence, congratulations.
You're my new best man.
169
00:09:15,987 --> 00:09:18,689
Now get up there
and toast me, kid.
170
00:09:18,757 --> 00:09:20,290
I don't feel like it,
Arthur.
171
00:09:20,357 --> 00:09:22,358
I'm having
a very rough night.
172
00:09:22,426 --> 00:09:24,861
I'm your father.
I command you to toast me.
173
00:09:26,380 --> 00:09:30,083
I'll toast who I want
when I want.
174
00:09:30,151 --> 00:09:32,186
You got that, dad?
175
00:09:32,253 --> 00:09:34,488
This isn't over.
176
00:09:37,575 --> 00:09:39,175
Hey, uh, heh.
177
00:09:39,243 --> 00:09:42,279
Like the way you stood up to him there.
178
00:09:42,346 --> 00:09:44,114
Oh, thanks. Thanks.
179
00:09:44,181 --> 00:09:46,183
You know, kind of
reminded me of the way
180
00:09:46,251 --> 00:09:48,852
you stood up to our landlord
about that roach problem.
181
00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:52,756
Oh. Well, the lease clearly states
when there's more than a thousand,
182
00:09:52,824 --> 00:09:54,525
it's his responsibility.
183
00:09:54,592 --> 00:09:56,275
You see, I wouldn't
have known that.
184
00:09:56,343 --> 00:09:59,178
Hey, did you see America's
next top model this week?
185
00:09:59,246 --> 00:10:02,015
Yes! Can you believe it
came down to marquesa and lisi?
186
00:10:02,083 --> 00:10:05,752
I know! I mean, it's so obvious
who's gonna win this thing.
187
00:10:05,819 --> 00:10:06,953
Duh. Marquesa.
Marquesa.
188
00:10:07,021 --> 00:10:08,922
Ha ha ha ha ha!
189
00:10:08,990 --> 00:10:10,373
Marquesa. Eww.
190
00:10:10,442 --> 00:10:13,276
Lisi's way better
for couture.
191
00:10:17,648 --> 00:10:20,066
Come on, Danny. Let's
go home. I'm bored.
192
00:10:20,134 --> 00:10:23,336
All right. Why don't you,
uh, go grab your jacket?
193
00:10:23,404 --> 00:10:25,338
I'll be right with you.
Ok.
194
00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:28,375
Sorry about the whole
marquesa thing.
195
00:10:28,442 --> 00:10:29,710
It's cool.
It's cool.
196
00:10:31,212 --> 00:10:33,480
Well, I guess she's
waitin' for me.
197
00:10:33,548 --> 00:10:34,648
Better take off.
198
00:10:34,716 --> 00:10:36,717
Yeah. See you
at the allergist's.
199
00:10:39,220 --> 00:10:41,104
I don't even
know you that well.
200
00:10:41,172 --> 00:10:44,023
I'm a crusty curmudgeon
with a heart of gold.
201
00:10:44,091 --> 00:10:45,124
Now go!
202
00:10:50,998 --> 00:10:55,068
Hi. Uh, I'll never forget
the first time I met Arthur.
203
00:10:55,136 --> 00:10:58,088
I was, uh, sitting in the
heffernan living room, watching TV.
204
00:10:58,155 --> 00:11:00,757
Uh, Arthur came in,
and when he saw me,
205
00:11:00,825 --> 00:11:05,195
he begged me not to hurt him,
then ran off to call the police.
206
00:11:05,262 --> 00:11:07,797
Ha ha ha ha ha!
207
00:11:07,865 --> 00:11:09,366
Hoo!
208
00:11:09,433 --> 00:11:11,835
And, hello, remember
that time your appendix burst
209
00:11:11,902 --> 00:11:13,837
and he wouldn't
leave work early?
210
00:11:13,904 --> 00:11:17,273
He did leave work early
to go to the rodeo.
211
00:11:19,043 --> 00:11:20,510
That's it.
212
00:11:20,578 --> 00:11:21,828
I just-I think
you'll feel better
213
00:11:21,896 --> 00:11:23,930
if you have a little
something to eat.
214
00:11:23,998 --> 00:11:25,899
I'll get you
my husband's prime rib.
215
00:11:25,966 --> 00:11:27,233
Oh. Thank you, Spence.
216
00:11:30,237 --> 00:11:33,673
You know, you really
had me goin' out there, Doug.
217
00:11:33,741 --> 00:11:34,958
"I took a leap of faith
for you.
218
00:11:35,026 --> 00:11:36,593
You didn't take
a leap of faith for me."
219
00:11:36,661 --> 00:11:38,228
Do you know how many times
in our marriage
220
00:11:38,296 --> 00:11:40,464
you have screwed me over
to do what you wanted to do?
221
00:11:40,532 --> 00:11:43,116
Aw, here we go
with the rodeo again.
222
00:11:43,183 --> 00:11:45,852
It comes to town
once a year!
223
00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:48,372
It wasn't just that, Doug.
It was many other things,
224
00:11:48,439 --> 00:11:49,973
and I forgave you
for everything,
225
00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:52,576
so you damn well better
forgive me for this.
226
00:11:52,643 --> 00:11:55,512
You don't tell me what I
better damn well better do.
227
00:11:55,579 --> 00:11:56,880
Ok, you know what?
228
00:11:56,947 --> 00:11:59,132
Do whatever you wanna do,
but let me tell you something.
229
00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:00,834
I love this baby,
and I want her,
230
00:12:00,901 --> 00:12:02,669
and I am gonna get her
for myself.
231
00:12:02,736 --> 00:12:05,189
Oh, no. No, no, no, 'cause
I wanted a baby first, ok?
232
00:12:05,256 --> 00:12:07,891
So if anybody's gonna get
the baby, it's gonna be me.
233
00:12:07,958 --> 00:12:09,075
Oh, you really
think so, butch?
234
00:12:09,143 --> 00:12:11,644
Well, I'm on my way to China
right now to get her.
235
00:12:11,712 --> 00:12:14,197
Yeah? Not if I
get there first.
236
00:12:16,717 --> 00:12:19,202
I'm gonna get there first.
237
00:12:19,270 --> 00:12:20,537
Whoa.
238
00:12:28,613 --> 00:12:33,499
And then there was the time
Arthur thought I was Eddie Murphy.
239
00:12:33,567 --> 00:12:34,267
Hey, we gotta go.
240
00:12:34,419 --> 00:12:35,769
Go. Go where?
241
00:12:35,837 --> 00:12:37,254
To China to get
my baby. Come on.
242
00:12:37,321 --> 00:12:38,955
Actually, you can just
drop me at the airport
243
00:12:39,023 --> 00:12:40,123
if you don't wanna
come with.
244
00:12:40,191 --> 00:12:41,557
Uh, sure.
245
00:12:41,625 --> 00:12:43,527
Let's all toast
Arthur spooner, a great guy
246
00:12:43,594 --> 00:12:45,662
who's a little racist.
247
00:12:48,132 --> 00:12:50,483
Doug, should I move in after
you get back from China or-
248
00:12:50,551 --> 00:12:53,570
hey, holly! Glad to see
you could make it.
249
00:12:55,873 --> 00:12:58,942
Well, I guess I'm
back out on the street.
250
00:12:59,009 --> 00:13:02,462
Well, seeing as you and I
are in the same situation,
251
00:13:02,529 --> 00:13:04,697
do you wanna
get a place together?
252
00:13:04,765 --> 00:13:06,533
Really?
You mean it?
253
00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:10,237
Oh, of course. I-I would
like nothing better than...
254
00:13:11,989 --> 00:13:13,206
You forget something?
255
00:13:13,273 --> 00:13:14,607
Yeah.
256
00:13:14,675 --> 00:13:17,610
I forgot my roommate.
257
00:13:20,114 --> 00:13:22,282
W- wait. You and I
were gonna-
258
00:13:22,349 --> 00:13:24,884
yeah, that's not
gonna work out.
259
00:13:37,431 --> 00:13:40,250
Well, you know, if things
work out between us,
260
00:13:40,318 --> 00:13:41,717
you'll have to convert.
261
00:13:41,785 --> 00:13:44,437
Of course I will.
262
00:13:44,504 --> 00:13:46,322
To what?
263
00:13:56,416 --> 00:13:57,950
I'll just get
my passport,
264
00:13:58,017 --> 00:14:00,753
and then we'll
get the hell out of here.
265
00:14:00,821 --> 00:14:02,171
Doug, you've never
been out of America.
266
00:14:02,239 --> 00:14:02,971
Why do you even
have a passport?
267
00:14:03,123 --> 00:14:05,992
I heard they still
had the mcrib in Canada.
268
00:14:07,611 --> 00:14:10,796
Oh, hey. Off to China.
Don't wait up.
269
00:14:10,863 --> 00:14:12,064
Hey! Did you take
my passport?
270
00:14:12,132 --> 00:14:14,050
Oh, no, babe,
it's still here...
271
00:14:14,117 --> 00:14:15,851
Somewhere.
272
00:14:29,111 --> 00:14:30,812
Hello.
273
00:14:31,981 --> 00:14:33,948
You found it?
274
00:14:34,016 --> 00:14:38,202
Gotta admit the vegetable
crisper was an inspired choice.
275
00:14:38,270 --> 00:14:40,722
But you've never gone in
that drawer your whole life.
276
00:14:40,789 --> 00:14:42,456
You don't even know
it exists.
277
00:14:42,524 --> 00:14:44,792
But Deacon does.
278
00:14:44,860 --> 00:14:46,894
His b.L.T.
Was delicious,
279
00:14:46,962 --> 00:14:49,230
as is my revenge.
280
00:15:07,733 --> 00:15:09,400
Doug.
Hmm?
281
00:15:09,468 --> 00:15:11,152
Doug.
282
00:15:13,688 --> 00:15:16,907
Oh, God.
283
00:15:16,975 --> 00:15:18,376
What?
284
00:15:18,443 --> 00:15:19,677
So what's
our endgame here?
285
00:15:19,745 --> 00:15:22,146
What are we gonna do
when we land?
286
00:15:22,214 --> 00:15:26,050
We gonna race through the streets
of Beijing to the adoption agency?
287
00:15:26,117 --> 00:15:27,685
I don't know.
288
00:15:27,753 --> 00:15:30,754
Because if we have to
take rickshaws, you'll lose.
289
00:15:33,658 --> 00:15:35,443
Not if it's downhill.
290
00:15:39,331 --> 00:15:40,949
What happened here?
291
00:15:41,016 --> 00:15:43,134
I don't know.
292
00:15:43,201 --> 00:15:46,771
You know, when my, uh...
293
00:15:46,838 --> 00:15:49,774
When my mom died
when I was a kid,
294
00:15:49,841 --> 00:15:54,312
it felt like I was nothing,
you know, like I had no life.
295
00:15:54,380 --> 00:15:58,599
My dad did his best
to be a good parent, but...
296
00:15:58,667 --> 00:16:00,668
Who we kiddin'?
297
00:16:00,735 --> 00:16:05,039
Anyway, on-on Sundays,
he used to take me
298
00:16:05,106 --> 00:16:07,207
to this park
on Vernon boulevard,
299
00:16:07,275 --> 00:16:09,310
right on the east river,
300
00:16:09,377 --> 00:16:11,979
where you could look across
and see Manhattan.
301
00:16:13,248 --> 00:16:15,950
And while he was, uh, off
302
00:16:16,017 --> 00:16:19,320
handing out leaflets
or chasing squirrels,
303
00:16:19,387 --> 00:16:21,656
I would just stand
at the railing,
304
00:16:21,723 --> 00:16:25,059
and I would look at the
beautiful apartment buildings
305
00:16:25,126 --> 00:16:29,296
across the river, and I-
I would imagine this great life
306
00:16:29,364 --> 00:16:33,634
that I might have someday actually
living in one of them, you know,
307
00:16:33,702 --> 00:16:37,404
with a great job as a fashion
designer for sergio valente
308
00:16:37,473 --> 00:16:41,776
or goin' to studio 54
every night.
309
00:16:41,844 --> 00:16:43,711
God, I'm old.
310
00:16:45,013 --> 00:16:48,082
But then I grew up,
and reality set in,
311
00:16:48,150 --> 00:16:50,785
and the dream got put away.
312
00:16:50,852 --> 00:16:53,354
And then I met you,
313
00:16:53,422 --> 00:16:56,073
and I was-
314
00:16:56,141 --> 00:17:00,110
I was happy in a whole...
315
00:17:00,178 --> 00:17:03,697
New way I just-
I never imagined.
316
00:17:06,368 --> 00:17:10,271
I mean, I was...
317
00:17:10,339 --> 00:17:15,209
In that apartment
- I mean, I guess just dreams stick with you, because...
318
00:17:15,277 --> 00:17:21,482
I just-I felt
like Carrie again, you know,
319
00:17:21,550 --> 00:17:27,755
little Carrie finally having the
thing she wanted back then, and...
320
00:17:27,822 --> 00:17:31,259
At the moment I should
have given it up, I-
321
00:17:31,326 --> 00:17:34,028
I couldn't, you know,
because it was like...
322
00:17:34,096 --> 00:17:36,364
I was taking something
away from her.
323
00:17:36,432 --> 00:17:39,200
You know, does that
make any sense, Doug?
324
00:17:39,268 --> 00:17:40,118
Yeah.
325
00:17:40,269 --> 00:17:44,639
It's funny
to hear you say that,
326
00:17:44,707 --> 00:17:46,708
'cause all these years,
327
00:17:46,775 --> 00:17:50,111
even when things
were good with us,
328
00:17:50,178 --> 00:17:54,348
I just still sensed
there was something...
329
00:17:54,416 --> 00:17:56,851
Pulling you
away from me,
330
00:17:56,918 --> 00:18:00,187
you know, like this
little voice inside saying,
331
00:18:00,256 --> 00:18:02,189
"wanna be in Manhattan.
332
00:18:02,258 --> 00:18:05,293
I wanna be
in Manhattan."
333
00:18:05,361 --> 00:18:07,962
Plus, you said it
out loud a lot.
334
00:18:10,649 --> 00:18:12,433
I di-I did.
335
00:18:12,501 --> 00:18:15,236
I did hear that voice
every day.
336
00:18:15,304 --> 00:18:18,656
And now I just hear her,
her voice saying...
337
00:18:20,542 --> 00:18:23,111
Whatever Chinese babies
say, and-
338
00:18:27,682 --> 00:18:29,951
and I want her.
339
00:18:30,019 --> 00:18:33,388
And I-I want you.
340
00:18:33,455 --> 00:18:38,075
And I-I wish that we could just
put this all behind us, you know,
341
00:18:38,142 --> 00:18:41,011
and just be a family.
342
00:18:44,066 --> 00:18:46,100
I love you, Carrie.
343
00:18:46,168 --> 00:18:48,335
I love you, too.
344
00:18:52,274 --> 00:18:53,942
Oh, God.
345
00:18:54,009 --> 00:18:56,945
No, he's gotta get up.
He's gotta get up.
346
00:19:03,583 --> 00:19:05,951
Hi, ming Mel.
347
00:19:06,019 --> 00:19:09,071
Ming Mel heffernan.
348
00:19:09,138 --> 00:19:10,338
You know what?
349
00:19:10,406 --> 00:19:12,741
It works.
350
00:19:12,809 --> 00:19:14,560
Come on, honey.
We gotta go to the airport.
351
00:19:14,628 --> 00:19:15,994
Just a second.
352
00:19:16,062 --> 00:19:19,147
Mommy and I are gonna
take you back home to queens.
353
00:19:19,215 --> 00:19:21,183
You're gonna love queens.
354
00:19:21,251 --> 00:19:23,084
Queens has got
the New York mets.
355
00:19:23,152 --> 00:19:24,303
It's got-
356
00:19:24,421 --> 00:19:26,789
well, not a lot else,
actually.
357
00:19:26,856 --> 00:19:30,258
Used to have pastrami king,
but they shut that down.
358
00:19:30,326 --> 00:19:31,860
Now it's a bookstore.
359
00:19:31,928 --> 00:19:34,663
Tell you, the world
is a crazy place.
360
00:19:35,531 --> 00:19:39,218
Ooh. She smiled at me.
361
00:19:39,285 --> 00:19:40,953
Either that,
or she's poopin'.
362
00:19:41,020 --> 00:19:43,656
Or maybe both.
Maybe she just really enjoys-
363
00:19:43,724 --> 00:19:45,224
I'm pregnant.
364
00:19:45,292 --> 00:19:47,876
Pooping.
365
00:19:47,944 --> 00:19:48,977
What?
366
00:19:48,996 --> 00:19:51,397
Yeah. I haven't felt
well since we landed,
367
00:19:51,465 --> 00:19:53,332
and I bought
a pregnancy test
368
00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:55,601
in the drug store
in the lobby,
369
00:19:55,668 --> 00:19:57,870
and we're gonna
have a baby.
370
00:19:57,937 --> 00:20:00,489
Well, what do we do
with this one?
371
00:20:01,858 --> 00:20:03,576
I don't know.
372
00:20:03,643 --> 00:20:06,194
I think I'm having
an anxiety attack.
373
00:20:06,262 --> 00:20:07,980
C- calm down.
A- are you sure?
374
00:20:08,048 --> 00:20:10,182
Yes, I am sure.
375
00:20:10,249 --> 00:20:11,684
I mean, look.
376
00:20:11,751 --> 00:20:15,353
Wh-what means pregnant,
the monkey or the dragon?
377
00:20:15,421 --> 00:20:16,505
That's just decorative.
378
00:20:16,573 --> 00:20:18,607
Look, it came out blue.
That means I'm pregnant.
379
00:20:18,675 --> 00:20:20,609
It must have happened
in the apartment that night.
380
00:20:20,677 --> 00:20:22,260
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
381
00:20:22,328 --> 00:20:23,912
I thought the doctor said
you couldn't get pregnant.
382
00:20:23,980 --> 00:20:26,381
No, she said we probably
couldn't. It happens all the time.
383
00:20:26,449 --> 00:20:28,817
When couples don't think they can
get pregnant, they stop trying,
384
00:20:28,885 --> 00:20:30,886
and then they adopt a baby and
- oh, God.
385
00:20:30,954 --> 00:20:32,438
Carrie, you have
to calm down.
386
00:20:32,506 --> 00:20:34,039
I can't calm down, Doug.
387
00:20:34,107 --> 00:20:35,858
Yesterday I had
no husband, no baby,
388
00:20:35,925 --> 00:20:39,761
and today I have a husband
and 2 babies, and I'm in China.
389
00:20:39,829 --> 00:20:42,097
That's a lot of change
for one day.
390
00:20:42,164 --> 00:20:43,732
What are we gonna do?
391
00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:45,951
I- I'll tell you
what we're gonna do.
392
00:20:46,018 --> 00:20:47,670
We're gonna
fly home today,
393
00:20:47,737 --> 00:20:50,673
and we're gonna start
our new life as parents
394
00:20:50,740 --> 00:20:54,543
of 2 beautiful,
wonderful children...
395
00:20:54,611 --> 00:20:57,463
With very
different-shaped eyes.
396
00:20:59,199 --> 00:21:00,865
Everything's
gonna be fine.
397
00:21:00,933 --> 00:21:03,102
T- trust me.
398
00:21:03,169 --> 00:21:05,471
Everything's
gonna be fine.
399
00:21:12,595 --> 00:21:13,562
Ming Mel.
Ming Mel.
400
00:21:13,630 --> 00:21:14,763
It's ok.
Ohh.
401
00:21:14,831 --> 00:21:16,065
It's all right, baby.
Calm down.
402
00:21:16,132 --> 00:21:17,483
It's all right, baby.
403
00:21:17,550 --> 00:21:18,684
All right.
404
00:21:18,752 --> 00:21:20,052
No, I know-
405
00:21:20,119 --> 00:21:21,821
there you go.
Good girl.
406
00:21:21,888 --> 00:21:24,723
It didn't work out.
407
00:21:42,158 --> 00:21:43,825
I love you.
408
00:21:48,064 --> 00:21:49,231
Oh, man. I gotta
call the guys.
409
00:21:49,299 --> 00:21:50,983
Already did.
On their way.
410
00:21:51,050 --> 00:21:51,833
You called 'em?
Yep.
411
00:21:51,952 --> 00:21:54,653
You are the best
mail order bride ever!
29355
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof