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1
00:00:06,771 --> 00:00:08,071
I'm getting married.
2
00:00:08,139 --> 00:00:09,172
To who?
3
00:00:09,240 --> 00:00:10,957
Miss Ava St. Clair.
4
00:00:11,025 --> 00:00:13,276
Oh, my gosh. Carrie, you remember
that apartment in the city
5
00:00:13,344 --> 00:00:14,844
we signed up for years ago? Uh-huh
6
00:00:14,912 --> 00:00:16,095
it's available now.
7
00:00:16,163 --> 00:00:17,214
I don't wanna move
to the city.
8
00:00:17,281 --> 00:00:18,215
What are you talkin' about?
9
00:00:18,282 --> 00:00:19,783
You said
you were ok with this,
10
00:00:19,851 --> 00:00:21,318
that my dream
was your dream.
11
00:00:21,385 --> 00:00:23,137
What are you doin'? What,
are you-you leavin' me?
12
00:00:23,204 --> 00:00:24,437
No, Doug.
13
00:00:24,505 --> 00:00:26,657
I'm going to our apartment in the city,
14
00:00:26,725 --> 00:00:28,392
and I hope
you join me.
15
00:00:28,459 --> 00:00:30,010
Hi. Thanks for
painting the bedroom,
16
00:00:30,077 --> 00:00:32,796
and that mural in the
bathroom is amazing.
17
00:00:32,864 --> 00:00:34,080
You-you like it?
18
00:00:34,148 --> 00:00:37,484
I love it. You made
me look really busty.
19
00:00:37,552 --> 00:00:38,835
I may be moving out.
20
00:00:38,903 --> 00:00:41,137
Don't be sorry. Roommates are
a dime a dozen. Heh.
21
00:00:41,205 --> 00:00:43,323
And so, let me just
get this straight.
22
00:00:43,391 --> 00:00:45,425
You're gonna get rid
of the apartment,
23
00:00:45,493 --> 00:00:47,911
I'm gonna get a new job,
24
00:00:47,978 --> 00:00:49,680
and we're both
gonna get a baby.
25
00:00:49,748 --> 00:00:51,881
That's the deal
that's on the table.
26
00:00:51,949 --> 00:00:53,117
I'm in.
27
00:00:53,184 --> 00:00:54,484
Me, too.
28
00:00:54,552 --> 00:00:55,702
Dinelli office furnishings.
29
00:00:55,769 --> 00:00:58,171
First in lumbar.
Doug heffernan speaking.
30
00:00:58,239 --> 00:01:02,742
Have you checked
your apartment in Manhattan?
31
00:01:50,106 --> 00:01:53,391
Bill! Man, I don't know
what you want from me, man.
32
00:01:53,459 --> 00:01:55,227
I can't
help you out here.
33
00:01:55,294 --> 00:01:57,429
Look, you know what?
Carrie just walked in.
34
00:01:57,496 --> 00:01:58,964
I will ask her. Jeez.
35
00:01:59,032 --> 00:02:00,515
Carrie,
it's my friend bill.
36
00:02:00,583 --> 00:02:01,850
He's-he's movin'
into Manhattan.
37
00:02:01,917 --> 00:02:03,185
Bill who?
Hmm?
38
00:02:03,252 --> 00:02:04,453
Bill who?
39
00:02:05,705 --> 00:02:08,123
Uh, bill krispies.
40
00:02:12,612 --> 00:02:15,164
You got rid of that
apartment, like, 3 weeks ago.
41
00:02:15,231 --> 00:02:17,449
There's definitely somebody
in there by now, right?
42
00:02:23,489 --> 00:02:27,209
Ok, listen, do not be late
for my father's wedding, ok?
43
00:02:27,276 --> 00:02:29,228
I need you and Deacon
on the road by noon.
44
00:02:29,295 --> 00:02:32,514
I have to go there now 'cause I got
a lot to do, ok? I love you. Bye.
45
00:02:35,318 --> 00:02:38,019
A brand-new
exercise bike.
46
00:02:38,087 --> 00:02:39,655
I'll bid, uh, 750.
47
00:02:39,723 --> 00:02:41,422
Doug.
48
00:02:41,490 --> 00:02:42,808
It's open!
49
00:02:42,875 --> 00:02:44,693
It's locked.
50
00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:46,244
Sorry.
51
00:02:46,312 --> 00:02:47,679
It's locked!
52
00:02:47,747 --> 00:02:50,199
Just open the damn door,
will you?
53
00:02:50,266 --> 00:02:51,700
Oh, gosh, all right.
54
00:02:51,767 --> 00:02:53,869
I'm comin',
you princess.
55
00:02:56,639 --> 00:02:57,522
There you go.
56
00:02:57,590 --> 00:02:59,241
I've been honking out there-
57
00:02:59,309 --> 00:03:00,575
where are your pants?
58
00:03:00,643 --> 00:03:02,577
Oh, wouldn't you
love to know?
59
00:03:02,645 --> 00:03:04,696
Why are you sittin'
around here, drinkin'?
60
00:03:04,764 --> 00:03:06,614
We gotta get
to the wedding, man.
61
00:03:06,682 --> 00:03:07,782
Mm-mmm. I ain't goin'.
62
00:03:07,851 --> 00:03:09,184
Hey, come on, man!
63
00:03:09,252 --> 00:03:12,420
The rice-a-roni is much
cheaper than the turtle wax!
64
00:03:12,488 --> 00:03:14,089
What the hell
is goin' on here?
65
00:03:14,156 --> 00:03:16,325
Oh, well, let's see.
I'm divorcin' Carrie,
66
00:03:16,393 --> 00:03:18,460
and ensign Curtis here
just cost himself
67
00:03:18,528 --> 00:03:20,545
a trip to
the showcase showdown.
68
00:03:21,914 --> 00:03:24,716
Get a divorce? I thought
you guys were good now.
69
00:03:24,784 --> 00:03:26,551
Yeah, well, turns out
she secretly kept
70
00:03:26,619 --> 00:03:27,953
her little apartment
in the city.
71
00:03:28,021 --> 00:03:29,621
"Oh, Doug,
I love ya.
72
00:03:29,689 --> 00:03:32,590
Let's adopt
Chinese babies together."
73
00:03:32,658 --> 00:03:34,843
It was all a pack of lies...
74
00:03:34,911 --> 00:03:37,011
Or a-a web of lies.
75
00:03:37,079 --> 00:03:40,282
Aw, some groupin' of lies.
76
00:03:40,350 --> 00:03:43,735
So she kept the place,
huh. Did she say why?
77
00:03:43,803 --> 00:03:46,387
She doesn't even know I
know, man, but it's obvious.
78
00:03:46,455 --> 00:03:49,574
It's her ticket
out of f-fattytown.
79
00:03:49,642 --> 00:03:50,825
But you know what?
80
00:03:50,893 --> 00:03:52,110
I'm beatin' her
to the punch.
81
00:03:52,178 --> 00:03:55,013
You know what? All I know
is I'm supposed to get you,
82
00:03:55,081 --> 00:03:58,033
a cake, and a rabbi to poughkeepsie
by 4:00, so put your pants on.
83
00:03:58,101 --> 00:03:59,784
No. I ain't goin', buddy.
84
00:03:59,852 --> 00:04:00,736
You're doin' it.
Man, don't make me
85
00:04:00,803 --> 00:04:02,370
carry you out of here
in your drawers, man.
86
00:04:02,438 --> 00:04:05,190
Don't make me carry you
out of here in my drawers.
87
00:04:05,258 --> 00:04:06,574
All right, you know what? Just come on.
88
00:04:06,642 --> 00:04:07,526
Let's go.
No way.
89
00:04:07,593 --> 00:04:08,810
It's not happenin', man.
90
00:04:10,213 --> 00:04:11,379
Stop it!
91
00:04:11,447 --> 00:04:13,081
All right.
92
00:04:13,149 --> 00:04:14,650
Fine.
93
00:04:14,717 --> 00:04:16,017
Not goin' anywhere.
94
00:04:16,085 --> 00:04:17,686
You're goin'.
No, I'm not.
95
00:04:20,590 --> 00:04:22,407
Oh, God. Unh!
I- I think I-
96
00:04:22,474 --> 00:04:24,375
I think I accidentally
touched something.
97
00:04:24,443 --> 00:04:27,178
Accidentally or
been plannin' for years?
98
00:04:27,246 --> 00:04:29,664
Look, just put
your pants on
99
00:04:29,732 --> 00:04:31,400
and get in the car.
100
00:04:31,468 --> 00:04:33,769
Fine! You know what?
I will get in the car.
101
00:04:33,837 --> 00:04:37,072
You mark my words. You will never
see pants on this body again.
102
00:04:40,092 --> 00:04:42,827
Now, dad, we have a lot
of family coming today
103
00:04:42,895 --> 00:04:44,912
that you haven't
seen in a while,
104
00:04:44,980 --> 00:04:47,615
so I want you to remember
no slapping anybody.
105
00:04:47,683 --> 00:04:49,300
But bernice is coming.
106
00:04:49,368 --> 00:04:51,619
Ok, dad, last time,
she knocked you out, ok?
107
00:04:51,687 --> 00:04:54,522
Leave it alone.
Leave it alone.
108
00:04:54,590 --> 00:04:57,141
I'm gonna go see if Ava
needs anything, ok?
109
00:04:57,209 --> 00:04:58,342
All right.
All right.
110
00:05:03,515 --> 00:05:05,917
Oh, are you ok, mom?
111
00:05:05,985 --> 00:05:08,787
I know this has gotta be rough
seeing Arthur get married.
112
00:05:08,855 --> 00:05:10,839
I'm very happy for him.
113
00:05:10,906 --> 00:05:12,641
Why would you say that?
114
00:05:12,709 --> 00:05:16,311
Well, you've been sobbing
and retching a lot lately.
115
00:05:16,379 --> 00:05:18,996
No more than usual.
116
00:05:19,064 --> 00:05:20,331
Greetings.
117
00:05:20,399 --> 00:05:21,199
Oh, hey, Arthur.
118
00:05:21,317 --> 00:05:23,618
Um, here are those
place cards you wanted.
119
00:05:23,686 --> 00:05:26,555
Uh, the venetian-style calligraphy
you wanted was really intricate.
120
00:05:26,622 --> 00:05:28,122
I was up all night.
121
00:05:28,190 --> 00:05:28,941
Thank you.
122
00:05:29,008 --> 00:05:31,993
I hope this isn't
in lieu of a gift.
123
00:05:36,399 --> 00:05:39,334
Congratulations on
your nuptials, Arthur.
124
00:05:39,402 --> 00:05:41,686
Thank you, Veronica.
125
00:05:41,754 --> 00:05:43,087
Ava St. Clair.
126
00:05:43,155 --> 00:05:44,522
Pish-posh.
127
00:05:44,590 --> 00:05:46,708
That she is.
128
00:05:46,775 --> 00:05:50,679
I guess I always knew you'd
wind up with someone like that.
129
00:05:50,746 --> 00:05:52,381
You deserve it.
130
00:05:52,448 --> 00:05:55,750
You're a good loser,
Veronica,
131
00:05:55,818 --> 00:05:58,720
the best loser
I've ever known.
132
00:05:58,787 --> 00:06:00,588
Thank you, Arthur.
133
00:06:02,725 --> 00:06:04,892
Yo! Yo, rabbi!
134
00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:06,361
Over here.
135
00:06:08,130 --> 00:06:10,298
I hope you don't mind
sittin' in the back.
136
00:06:10,366 --> 00:06:12,033
I, uh, got the cake
up here.
137
00:06:12,101 --> 00:06:13,685
Ah, no, no.
It's-it's fine.
138
00:06:13,753 --> 00:06:14,920
It's just, um...
139
00:06:14,988 --> 00:06:18,556
Do you know there's
a man with no pants back here?
140
00:06:18,624 --> 00:06:20,659
Oh, yeah. That's-
that's the best man.
141
00:06:20,726 --> 00:06:22,460
He's sleepin' off
a couple six-packs.
142
00:06:22,528 --> 00:06:26,064
Do me a favor and, uh,
give him a smack, will ya?
143
00:06:26,132 --> 00:06:27,298
Oh, ok.
144
00:06:31,287 --> 00:06:33,755
Y- you gotta
really drill him.
145
00:06:33,823 --> 00:06:37,091
I'm not comfortable
drilling anyone on shabbos.
146
00:06:37,159 --> 00:06:38,192
All right.
147
00:06:38,260 --> 00:06:39,961
I'll take care
of it.
148
00:06:40,029 --> 00:06:42,197
Hang on.
149
00:06:42,265 --> 00:06:46,368
Aw, deac, gotta tell ya, gettin'
a little tired of that move.
150
00:06:51,173 --> 00:06:52,807
There it is.
151
00:06:52,875 --> 00:06:54,376
Ok.
Ok.
152
00:06:54,443 --> 00:06:56,177
Oh, you look beautiful.
153
00:06:56,245 --> 00:06:57,379
Really?
154
00:06:57,446 --> 00:07:00,031
I'm so nervous.
155
00:07:00,098 --> 00:07:00,982
Oh, you're gonna be fine.
156
00:07:01,050 --> 00:07:03,251
At my last wedding,
I passed out
157
00:07:03,319 --> 00:07:04,953
right into
a chopped-liver swan.
158
00:07:05,020 --> 00:07:09,741
But Gerald was
so understanding.
159
00:07:09,808 --> 00:07:12,844
Oh, God rest his soul.
160
00:07:12,912 --> 00:07:14,946
That was
your last husband?
161
00:07:15,014 --> 00:07:16,748
Yeah. Well...
162
00:07:16,815 --> 00:07:18,750
After the first jerk
I married,
163
00:07:18,817 --> 00:07:22,187
I decided from now on,
only gay men.
164
00:07:22,255 --> 00:07:24,889
15-minute warning.
165
00:07:24,957 --> 00:07:25,924
Oh.
166
00:07:25,991 --> 00:07:28,126
Ava, darling,
that dress is delicious.
167
00:07:28,194 --> 00:07:30,895
You're a vision in chiffon.
168
00:07:31,814 --> 00:07:33,765
I can't wait
to rip it off tonight
169
00:07:33,833 --> 00:07:36,635
and finally
have my way with you.
170
00:07:45,995 --> 00:07:48,663
Could I-could I help at all?
Or are you...
171
00:07:48,731 --> 00:07:51,966
Yeah, you know what? Just, uh,
let me bridge off your shoulder.
172
00:07:52,034 --> 00:07:53,919
I'm gonna have to fire my hips off
- there we go.
173
00:07:53,986 --> 00:07:55,303
Aah!
I'm gettin' under it.
174
00:07:55,371 --> 00:07:55,903
What's goin' on
back there?
175
00:07:55,971 --> 00:07:57,455
You don't have
your pants on yet?
176
00:07:57,523 --> 00:08:01,259
The rabbi and I are
working on it, thank you.
177
00:08:01,327 --> 00:08:03,011
It's been 2 hours.
178
00:08:03,078 --> 00:08:03,895
There's no room
back here.
179
00:08:04,046 --> 00:08:05,213
Why the hell didn't you
take the minivan?
180
00:08:05,281 --> 00:08:06,798
Aw, Kelly's got it.
She doesn't like
181
00:08:06,866 --> 00:08:08,432
driving this car.
It's too small.
182
00:08:08,500 --> 00:08:10,485
Oh, great. So she gives it
to her 8- foot-tall husband.
183
00:08:10,553 --> 00:08:12,987
Yeah, I can't believe you
aren't the one getting divorced.
184
00:08:13,055 --> 00:08:14,639
Hey, hey. Stop talkin'
about divorce, will you?
185
00:08:14,707 --> 00:08:16,173
You guys
are gonna be fine.
186
00:08:16,241 --> 00:08:17,742
You always work
these things out.
187
00:08:17,810 --> 00:08:18,843
She screams.
You cry.
188
00:08:18,911 --> 00:08:20,745
2 pizzas later, you're back to normal.
189
00:08:20,813 --> 00:08:22,531
But this is different,
deac, ok?
190
00:08:22,598 --> 00:08:24,933
We had a commitment
about our future, and-
191
00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:27,336
and she just didn't
hold up her end.
192
00:08:27,403 --> 00:08:29,804
That's not right, is it?
193
00:08:29,872 --> 00:08:32,006
Well, I certainly understand
why you're upset,
194
00:08:32,074 --> 00:08:35,109
but I also know that God
believes in forgiveness.
195
00:08:35,177 --> 00:08:35,944
Yeah, I'm-
196
00:08:36,012 --> 00:08:39,331
is that just your God
or any God?
197
00:08:39,398 --> 00:08:42,667
Do you think you and I
have different gods?
198
00:08:42,734 --> 00:08:44,803
No. No, no, no, no, no.
199
00:08:44,871 --> 00:08:48,606
Oh. I mean, yeah.
Only 'cause...
200
00:08:48,674 --> 00:08:50,208
My God is...
201
00:08:50,276 --> 00:08:52,043
Jesus.
202
00:08:52,111 --> 00:08:53,979
But, uh-but from
what I understand,
203
00:08:54,046 --> 00:08:55,997
my God is the son
of your God,
204
00:08:56,065 --> 00:08:58,066
so I'm sure they're
on very good terms.
205
00:08:58,133 --> 00:09:00,168
They probably see
each other all the time,
206
00:09:00,235 --> 00:09:01,736
you know, holidays,
family functions.
207
00:09:01,804 --> 00:09:03,387
What the hell
was that for?!
208
00:09:03,455 --> 00:09:05,857
To shut you up.
209
00:09:07,059 --> 00:09:08,777
Don't give me
your back talk!
210
00:09:08,844 --> 00:09:12,731
There are plenty of harpists out
there who will play dueling banjos!
211
00:09:12,798 --> 00:09:14,366
You sent for me, darlin'?
212
00:09:14,433 --> 00:09:16,601
Yes. Dad, I, um...
213
00:09:16,669 --> 00:09:17,402
Where's Ava?
214
00:09:17,470 --> 00:09:19,287
Well, that's actually
what I wanna...
215
00:09:20,623 --> 00:09:22,256
Ava left, dad.
216
00:09:22,324 --> 00:09:23,391
What?
217
00:09:23,459 --> 00:09:24,676
Yeah,
she was very upset.
218
00:09:24,743 --> 00:09:27,145
She's-she's very sorry,
but she can't marry you.
219
00:09:27,213 --> 00:09:28,930
Wh-why?
220
00:09:28,997 --> 00:09:30,399
Well, uh...
221
00:09:30,466 --> 00:09:32,367
Turns out Ava...
222
00:09:32,435 --> 00:09:36,070
Like, uh, many women
in show business,
223
00:09:36,138 --> 00:09:38,490
wanted a different kind
of husband,
224
00:09:38,557 --> 00:09:41,359
more of a companion.
225
00:09:41,426 --> 00:09:44,178
I was a wonderful companion.
226
00:09:44,246 --> 00:09:46,564
Yeah. Yeah.
227
00:09:46,632 --> 00:09:48,066
Uh...
228
00:09:48,134 --> 00:09:51,770
But she wanted a
companion who was also...
229
00:09:51,837 --> 00:09:53,271
A choreographer...
230
00:09:55,107 --> 00:09:56,791
Type.
231
00:09:58,127 --> 00:10:00,729
A hairdresser type.
232
00:10:02,014 --> 00:10:04,181
You don't see where
I'm goin' with this?
233
00:10:04,249 --> 00:10:05,900
She wanted a black man?
234
00:10:05,968 --> 00:10:08,437
Gay, dad.
She wanted a gay man.
235
00:10:08,504 --> 00:10:10,204
She thought
you were gay.
236
00:10:10,272 --> 00:10:11,256
That's preposterous.
237
00:10:11,324 --> 00:10:13,642
That's not what
she wants at all.
238
00:10:13,709 --> 00:10:14,926
Dad, look.
239
00:10:14,994 --> 00:10:17,562
This is a picture of
Gerald, her last husband.
240
00:10:17,629 --> 00:10:20,198
What do you see
when you look at that?
241
00:10:20,266 --> 00:10:22,000
I see a normal
heterosexual man
242
00:10:22,068 --> 00:10:24,135
leaping into the air
with a parasol.
243
00:10:25,304 --> 00:10:27,372
How did I not
notice that before?
244
00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:30,708
I'm sorry, daddy.
245
00:10:30,776 --> 00:10:32,127
But I still
don't understand.
246
00:10:32,194 --> 00:10:36,831
What did I ever do to give her
the impression that I was gay?
247
00:10:41,853 --> 00:10:43,188
Hey.
248
00:10:48,160 --> 00:10:52,380
In retrospect, that was an unfortunate
choice of Halloween costume.
249
00:11:00,237 --> 00:11:01,721
Dad, look,
I know this is hard,
250
00:11:01,789 --> 00:11:04,774
but we have a hundred guests out there
waiting for the ceremony to start.
251
00:11:04,842 --> 00:11:06,743
You have to go out there
and tell 'em.
252
00:11:06,810 --> 00:11:09,312
But I had my heart set
on being married today.
253
00:11:09,380 --> 00:11:11,047
Not just my heart.
254
00:11:11,115 --> 00:11:13,850
I took enough Cialis
for a hockey team.
255
00:11:15,252 --> 00:11:18,455
The bottom line is, dad,
Ava's not coming back.
256
00:11:18,522 --> 00:11:20,390
But I could
be gay for her.
257
00:11:20,457 --> 00:11:24,560
I could be the gayest man
the world has ever seen!
258
00:11:24,628 --> 00:11:25,545
I know you could.
259
00:11:27,247 --> 00:11:29,182
But-but it's over, dad.
260
00:11:49,370 --> 00:11:50,737
Arthur, what's this
all about?
261
00:11:50,804 --> 00:11:52,339
Why are we in here?
262
00:11:52,406 --> 00:11:54,540
I need to speak
to you privately.
263
00:11:56,110 --> 00:11:58,378
What are you, a surgeon?
Beat it!
264
00:12:03,251 --> 00:12:05,468
So what is it?
265
00:12:05,536 --> 00:12:06,887
Veronica, something
marvelous has happened.
266
00:12:06,954 --> 00:12:11,491
I suddenly realized it's not Ava
I wanna marry today. It's you.
267
00:12:11,558 --> 00:12:14,578
What?
You wanna marry me?
268
00:12:14,645 --> 00:12:16,429
Yes. I'm proposing to you.
269
00:12:16,497 --> 00:12:19,098
I would have done it
years ago, but...
270
00:12:19,166 --> 00:12:21,768
I found your beauty
intimidating.
271
00:12:21,836 --> 00:12:23,370
She dumped you, huh?
272
00:12:23,438 --> 00:12:25,539
Yeah.
273
00:12:25,607 --> 00:12:27,373
Apparently I'm not
man enough for her.
274
00:12:27,441 --> 00:12:30,994
Or I'm too much man.
It's all very confusing.
275
00:12:31,062 --> 00:12:34,147
So now you're tryin' to jam
me in as your second choice?
276
00:12:34,214 --> 00:12:36,115
Well, let me tell you
something, Arthur.
277
00:12:36,183 --> 00:12:39,686
I may not be the queen of
england or even Ava St. Clair,
278
00:12:39,754 --> 00:12:43,423
but I deserve more than being
proposed to in front of a urinal.
279
00:12:43,490 --> 00:12:46,743
Look, look, look, I admit I've never
shown you the respect you deserve.
280
00:12:46,811 --> 00:12:49,212
I was petty and vain and
thought I could do better,
281
00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:50,864
but I realize now
that I can't.
282
00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:54,918
Pride goeth
before a fall.
283
00:12:54,986 --> 00:12:57,404
Please, Veronica. I don't
wanna die in that basement.
284
00:12:57,471 --> 00:13:00,706
I'd much rather die in a
ground-floor apartment such as yours
285
00:13:00,774 --> 00:13:02,542
with you by my side.
286
00:13:02,609 --> 00:13:05,695
That does sound nice.
287
00:13:05,762 --> 00:13:08,381
I know we could learn
to love each other.
288
00:13:08,449 --> 00:13:11,218
I already love you,
Arthur.
289
00:13:11,286 --> 00:13:13,253
Well, then,
we're halfway there.
290
00:13:19,560 --> 00:13:21,161
Um, good afternoon.
291
00:13:21,228 --> 00:13:24,964
Everybody, ahem,
I'm rabbi Eli feldman.
292
00:13:25,032 --> 00:13:27,867
Today in the presence of God,
293
00:13:27,936 --> 00:13:31,905
we will be joining together
Arthur spooner and Ava St. Clair,
294
00:13:31,973 --> 00:13:35,508
2 wonderful people
who have found joy, love,
295
00:13:35,576 --> 00:13:36,459
and happi-
296
00:13:36,527 --> 00:13:37,877
excuse me a minute.
297
00:13:37,945 --> 00:13:40,213
Happiness in each other's
spirits. Thank you.
298
00:13:43,050 --> 00:13:45,118
"Please turns off
all cellphones and pagers,
299
00:13:45,186 --> 00:13:49,022
"and in your programs, wherever
the name Ava St. Clair appears,
300
00:13:49,090 --> 00:13:51,091
replace it
with Veronica olchin."
301
00:13:58,315 --> 00:13:59,649
Excuse me. Sorry.
302
00:13:59,716 --> 00:14:00,950
Sorry. Excuse me.
303
00:14:01,018 --> 00:14:02,318
Hey.
Where were you?
304
00:14:02,386 --> 00:14:05,021
Doug got drunk and
wouldn't put his pants on.
305
00:14:07,057 --> 00:14:08,324
How's it goin' here?
306
00:14:08,393 --> 00:14:09,593
Oh, Arthur
switched brides.
307
00:14:09,660 --> 00:14:11,327
Now he's marrying
Spence's mom.
308
00:14:11,396 --> 00:14:13,129
Oh.
309
00:14:13,197 --> 00:14:16,032
Dad! Well, what the hell
is going on?
310
00:14:16,100 --> 00:14:17,366
Meet your
new mother.
311
00:14:18,836 --> 00:14:20,453
Keep wednesdays free,
darling.
312
00:14:20,521 --> 00:14:23,323
That's when we visit Nana
in the home.
313
00:14:23,391 --> 00:14:25,642
Where's my aunt Ava?
314
00:14:25,709 --> 00:14:27,110
Mom, what are
you doing?
315
00:14:27,178 --> 00:14:28,427
What does it look
like I'm doing?
316
00:14:28,495 --> 00:14:31,364
Now, you just stay there,
because you have to give me away.
317
00:14:31,431 --> 00:14:33,316
I'm not giving you away!
This is crazy!
318
00:14:33,384 --> 00:14:34,617
Yes, this is crazy!
319
00:14:34,685 --> 00:14:36,869
Stop taking
your brother's side!
320
00:14:40,141 --> 00:14:41,857
Where's my aunt Ava?
321
00:14:41,925 --> 00:14:42,709
Oh, Doug,
there you are.
322
00:14:42,777 --> 00:14:44,060
Do you know
what's going on?
323
00:14:44,127 --> 00:14:46,079
Ava left, and now my dad
wants to marry Veronica.
324
00:14:46,147 --> 00:14:48,197
Hmm. That's nice.
325
00:14:52,653 --> 00:14:54,304
He-he wants us
to start.
326
00:14:54,371 --> 00:14:56,473
Sweetheart, I think
you go down first.
327
00:14:56,540 --> 00:14:58,674
Where's my aunt Ava?
328
00:14:58,742 --> 00:15:01,377
She's your aunt Ava. Now get movin'!
329
00:15:02,679 --> 00:15:04,514
It's all right.
It's all right.
330
00:15:06,550 --> 00:15:10,170
Dad, are you sure
you wanna do this?
331
00:15:10,237 --> 00:15:12,305
You really wanna
marry Veronica?
332
00:15:12,373 --> 00:15:14,424
Why? You got
someone better?
333
00:15:15,426 --> 00:15:17,828
Oy. All right,
let's just start.
334
00:15:17,895 --> 00:15:18,761
Let's just start.
335
00:15:23,384 --> 00:15:25,652
Piece of work,
that man, right?
336
00:15:25,719 --> 00:15:29,656
Yeah. Well, at least he doesn't tell
vicious lies to the people that love him.
337
00:15:29,723 --> 00:15:32,725
What are you talking about?
He does that every day.
338
00:15:32,793 --> 00:15:34,661
What's the matter
with you, anyway?
339
00:15:34,728 --> 00:15:37,097
You know what? I don't think I
feel like discussing it right now.
340
00:15:52,146 --> 00:15:54,247
Thanks for comin'.
I'm not gay.
341
00:15:54,315 --> 00:15:55,749
Thanks for comin'.
Not gay.
342
00:15:55,816 --> 00:15:57,617
Hello, Zachary.
I'm not gay.
343
00:16:00,304 --> 00:16:03,523
I can't believe
you're doing this.
344
00:16:03,591 --> 00:16:05,358
I love him, Spencer.
345
00:16:05,426 --> 00:16:07,494
He's treating you
like an old dishrag.
346
00:16:07,562 --> 00:16:09,529
No marriage is perfect.
347
00:16:15,619 --> 00:16:17,404
Ok. Ahem.
348
00:16:17,472 --> 00:16:19,406
Is everyone
set to go?
349
00:16:19,474 --> 00:16:20,557
Uh-huh.
350
00:16:20,624 --> 00:16:22,492
Baruch atta adonal-
351
00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:24,260
whoa, whoa, whoa.
What's that?
352
00:16:27,415 --> 00:16:29,616
It's a Hebrew prayer.
353
00:16:29,684 --> 00:16:31,817
Why Hebrew?
354
00:16:31,885 --> 00:16:35,471
Well, the-the original
bride was Jewish,
355
00:16:35,539 --> 00:16:36,806
a- and I'm a rabbi.
356
00:16:38,309 --> 00:16:39,659
Are you Jewish?
357
00:16:39,726 --> 00:16:41,328
Albanian orthodox.
358
00:16:41,395 --> 00:16:43,529
What the hell is that?
359
00:16:43,597 --> 00:16:45,198
It's a very nice
religion.
360
00:16:45,266 --> 00:16:46,799
We'll go with your thing.
361
00:16:48,835 --> 00:16:51,921
Baruch atta
adonal elohanu...
362
00:16:53,023 --> 00:16:54,290
Mazel tov!
Mazel tov!
363
00:17:01,849 --> 00:17:05,168
Carrie, your phone was going off
like crazy during the ceremony.
364
00:17:05,235 --> 00:17:07,070
You got, like, 4 calls.
Really?
365
00:17:09,190 --> 00:17:11,991
Oh, my God.
It's the adoption agency.
366
00:17:12,059 --> 00:17:13,759
Doug-
367
00:17:22,549 --> 00:17:25,284
there you are.
What are you doing?
368
00:17:25,351 --> 00:17:28,070
Just enjoying the smells
of poughkeepsie.
369
00:17:30,390 --> 00:17:32,658
Well, I have
some very exciting news.
370
00:17:32,726 --> 00:17:34,493
You're not gonna believe it.
371
00:17:34,561 --> 00:17:36,178
Look at this picture.
What's that?
372
00:17:36,246 --> 00:17:37,529
Our car.
373
00:17:37,597 --> 00:17:39,315
Oh. I backed into a pole.
374
00:17:39,383 --> 00:17:40,916
That's for
the insurance company.
375
00:17:40,984 --> 00:17:42,618
No, no, no, no, no, no.
376
00:17:42,686 --> 00:17:43,919
Who's that?
377
00:17:43,987 --> 00:17:46,121
I don't know.
Somebody's baby.
378
00:17:46,190 --> 00:17:48,724
Yeah. Our baby.
379
00:17:48,792 --> 00:17:50,476
Our baby.
380
00:17:52,312 --> 00:17:53,379
Oh, my God.
381
00:17:53,447 --> 00:17:55,047
Yeah. Her name
is ming Mel.
382
00:17:55,114 --> 00:17:57,149
She's 4 days old.
Isn't she beautiful?
383
00:17:57,216 --> 00:17:59,501
All right, I have to call
the adoption agency
384
00:17:59,569 --> 00:18:02,655
and tell them that we're on
the next flight out to Beijing.
385
00:18:02,723 --> 00:18:04,624
I've-I can't believe
I'm making this call.
386
00:18:04,691 --> 00:18:08,894
I mean, I've ordered Chinese before,
but never a baby. Ah ha ha! Ahh!
387
00:18:08,962 --> 00:18:10,429
Carrie, we're not
doing this.
388
00:18:11,598 --> 00:18:14,200
What? What are
you talking about?
389
00:18:14,267 --> 00:18:15,450
I know about
the apartment,
390
00:18:15,518 --> 00:18:17,403
and I know you never
got rid of it.
391
00:18:17,471 --> 00:18:19,254
Oh, yeah, that. Heh.
392
00:18:19,322 --> 00:18:20,923
Weird, huh?
393
00:18:23,794 --> 00:18:25,160
Uh...
394
00:18:25,228 --> 00:18:28,631
Look, Doug, you have
every right to be upset, ok?
395
00:18:28,699 --> 00:18:32,535
I- I should've gotten rid of
it a couple weeks ago, but I-
396
00:18:32,603 --> 00:18:34,269
but what? I mean...
397
00:18:34,337 --> 00:18:36,422
But I was just nervous about us
getting back together.
398
00:18:36,490 --> 00:18:38,524
So was I, you know,
but we made a deal.
399
00:18:38,592 --> 00:18:41,594
I mean, I quit my job for
you, and I loved that job.
400
00:18:41,661 --> 00:18:43,745
You hated that job.
You said so a thousand times.
401
00:18:43,813 --> 00:18:47,183
No, I said I hated having
a job. There's a difference.
402
00:18:47,251 --> 00:18:49,352
The point is I took
a leap of faith,
403
00:18:49,420 --> 00:18:51,803
for the sake of our
future, and you didn't.
404
00:18:51,871 --> 00:18:54,540
All right. Well, I'm taking
my leap of faith now.
405
00:18:54,607 --> 00:18:56,225
It doesn't count now,
Carrie. I mean,
406
00:18:56,293 --> 00:18:58,127
now you're just leaping
for the baby.
407
00:18:58,195 --> 00:19:00,195
Admit it. You've never
taken a leap of faith
408
00:19:00,347 --> 00:19:02,014
for me
in your whole life.
409
00:19:02,082 --> 00:19:04,100
I married you.
What do you call that?
410
00:19:04,167 --> 00:19:05,317
Uh, hitting the jackpot.
411
00:19:08,672 --> 00:19:12,091
Getting married, that's
not taking a leap of faith.
412
00:19:12,159 --> 00:19:17,063
When you get married, you think
it's gonna be great forever.
413
00:19:17,130 --> 00:19:19,165
You know, but then
10 years down the line,
414
00:19:19,233 --> 00:19:24,186
you finally start to realize, "wow,
he's fat, and he's stayin' fat."
415
00:19:24,254 --> 00:19:27,022
"Man, she isn't gettin'
any nicer, is she?"
416
00:19:27,941 --> 00:19:31,127
Smoke clears, and it's
just the two of us
417
00:19:31,194 --> 00:19:34,897
standing there
fat, mean, and naked-
418
00:19:34,965 --> 00:19:38,768
that's when it takes a
leap of faith to keep going,
419
00:19:38,835 --> 00:19:40,669
and you didn't,
420
00:19:40,737 --> 00:19:42,321
and I can never
forget that.
421
00:19:43,290 --> 00:19:45,641
Ok, Doug,
so what are you saying?
422
00:19:45,709 --> 00:19:47,510
Are you saying we're over?
423
00:19:47,578 --> 00:19:49,662
I guess I am.
30310
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