All language subtitles for The King of Queens - S09E07 - Home Cheapo (1080p x265 EDGE2020)-ing

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,456 --> 00:00:10,023 A- bub-bub-bub-bub! 2 00:00:10,090 --> 00:00:11,724 You have a seat, young lady. 3 00:00:11,792 --> 00:00:14,328 Today, I am taking care of breakfast. 4 00:00:14,395 --> 00:00:15,795 Whatever you're in the mood for, you just name it. 5 00:00:15,863 --> 00:00:17,063 Oh! Ok. 6 00:00:17,131 --> 00:00:20,133 Um, how about a short stack of pancakes? 7 00:00:20,919 --> 00:00:22,836 Ok, I'm making eggs. 8 00:00:22,903 --> 00:00:25,105 Ok. I'll have 2, sunny side up. 9 00:00:26,524 --> 00:00:27,491 Already scrambled. 10 00:00:27,559 --> 00:00:28,908 Perfect! Perfect. 11 00:00:30,111 --> 00:00:33,646 Whoop. Got a little shell in there. 12 00:00:33,714 --> 00:00:35,432 Jeez. 13 00:00:35,500 --> 00:00:37,100 All right, here we go. 14 00:00:39,170 --> 00:00:41,271 Come on, buddy. 15 00:00:41,339 --> 00:00:44,607 Take it to the edge. Take it to the edge! 16 00:00:44,675 --> 00:00:46,410 Take it to the edge - I got it. 17 00:00:46,477 --> 00:00:48,745 I got it. 18 00:00:48,812 --> 00:00:49,479 Dammit! 19 00:00:50,731 --> 00:00:53,267 It's all right. Take it to the edge. 20 00:00:53,334 --> 00:00:55,001 Not gonna work - I'm just gonna grab it here. 21 00:00:55,069 --> 00:00:56,102 I got it. I got-whoop! 22 00:00:56,171 --> 00:00:57,604 I got a hair in there. 23 00:00:59,006 --> 00:01:00,773 Take it to the edge. 24 00:01:00,841 --> 00:01:04,044 Take the hair to the edge. 25 00:01:04,112 --> 00:01:05,345 I got it. 26 00:01:05,413 --> 00:01:07,431 We're all good. 27 00:01:07,499 --> 00:01:10,200 What the hell is that? 28 00:01:10,268 --> 00:01:12,603 You know what? I'm just gonna grab something at work. 29 00:01:12,670 --> 00:01:14,304 Come on! 30 00:01:14,372 --> 00:01:17,040 Whatever it is, the heat'll kill it. Just stay! 31 00:01:56,529 --> 00:01:57,463 Hey, Arthur. 32 00:01:57,530 --> 00:01:58,597 Hey. 33 00:01:58,664 --> 00:02:00,399 Um, is Carrie home? 34 00:02:00,467 --> 00:02:02,334 Nope, they're out with friends. 35 00:02:02,402 --> 00:02:04,520 I just finished watching TV in their bed. 36 00:02:04,587 --> 00:02:05,754 Mum's the word. 37 00:02:05,822 --> 00:02:08,474 She said she had a book on résumé writing 38 00:02:08,541 --> 00:02:09,475 that she would loan me. 39 00:02:09,542 --> 00:02:11,109 I- I gotta find a new job. 40 00:02:11,177 --> 00:02:13,579 My unemployment runs out in, like, a week. 41 00:02:13,646 --> 00:02:16,815 Ah, yes, no more sucking on the taxpayer's teat! 42 00:02:24,023 --> 00:02:26,725 I can teach you everything you need to know. 43 00:02:26,793 --> 00:02:29,578 Uh-huh. Um, Arthur, I think I'd rather 44 00:02:29,646 --> 00:02:33,382 learn from someone who's been successful at... 45 00:02:33,449 --> 00:02:34,383 Anything. 46 00:02:35,585 --> 00:02:37,302 Touché. It's true. 47 00:02:37,370 --> 00:02:39,771 I've never held a job very long, 48 00:02:39,839 --> 00:02:42,841 but I've landed myself over 74 of them- 49 00:02:42,909 --> 00:02:44,176 one as a woman! 50 00:02:45,178 --> 00:02:47,079 Yeah, I'm gonna keep looking for that book. 51 00:02:47,146 --> 00:02:49,514 Look, Spencer. All day long, I sit in that basement 52 00:02:49,583 --> 00:02:51,917 doing the word jumbles and praying for death. 53 00:02:51,985 --> 00:02:53,819 If I could help someone else succeed, 54 00:02:53,887 --> 00:02:55,754 I'd be accomplishing something. 55 00:02:56,456 --> 00:02:59,341 Let me live through you, huh? 56 00:03:00,109 --> 00:03:02,927 I- all right, what do we do? 57 00:03:02,995 --> 00:03:04,697 Come downstairs. 58 00:03:04,848 --> 00:03:06,215 We'll play some trust games 59 00:03:06,283 --> 00:03:08,550 and take it from there. 60 00:03:08,618 --> 00:03:10,268 Come on- let's go, baby. 61 00:03:12,538 --> 00:03:14,839 I'm glad we did something different. 62 00:03:14,907 --> 00:03:17,109 Nah, that's the last magic show I go to. 63 00:03:17,176 --> 00:03:19,979 I don't need to pick a card or see a bunny. 64 00:03:20,046 --> 00:03:21,246 Those metal hoops- 65 00:03:21,314 --> 00:03:22,681 they can keep 'em together, take 'em apart- 66 00:03:22,748 --> 00:03:23,848 I- I-I don't care! 67 00:03:23,916 --> 00:03:25,985 Well, I thought he was amazing. 68 00:03:26,052 --> 00:03:27,436 Man, you're just upset 'cause he said he needed 69 00:03:27,504 --> 00:03:29,221 a bigger saw to cut you in half. 70 00:03:30,957 --> 00:03:33,525 If a magician needs to be hurtful, 71 00:03:33,593 --> 00:03:34,827 he's not very good. 72 00:03:36,195 --> 00:03:37,496 All right, next weekend we'll do something 73 00:03:37,564 --> 00:03:38,997 that's a little more your speed. 74 00:03:39,065 --> 00:03:41,200 Actually, we got plans next weekend. 75 00:03:41,267 --> 00:03:43,202 No, we don't. Yeah, we do. 76 00:03:43,269 --> 00:03:44,402 All right, look, I was gonna wait, 77 00:03:44,470 --> 00:03:45,938 but I've had something poking me 78 00:03:46,006 --> 00:03:47,372 in the pocket all night long. 79 00:03:50,459 --> 00:03:53,128 You think you're gonna keep that going till next weekend? 80 00:03:53,996 --> 00:03:55,480 You know what these are? 81 00:03:55,548 --> 00:03:56,381 We got it? 82 00:03:56,449 --> 00:03:57,449 I just signed the papers today. 83 00:03:57,517 --> 00:03:58,483 Oh! 84 00:03:58,551 --> 00:04:00,369 Wha...? Wha-what's going on? 85 00:04:00,437 --> 00:04:01,803 We got a vacation home. 86 00:04:03,456 --> 00:04:04,523 What? 87 00:04:04,590 --> 00:04:05,691 Can you believe it? 88 00:04:05,758 --> 00:04:08,794 I cannot believe it! 89 00:04:08,862 --> 00:04:10,663 I forgot the saucers. 90 00:04:11,931 --> 00:04:12,831 So where is it? 91 00:04:12,899 --> 00:04:14,032 It's, like, 2 hours outside of the city, 92 00:04:14,100 --> 00:04:15,451 right on this little lake. 93 00:04:15,518 --> 00:04:16,501 You guys are gonna love it. 94 00:04:16,569 --> 00:04:18,036 Oh, you know what? Hey-let's celebrate 95 00:04:18,104 --> 00:04:19,737 with some cake! 96 00:04:19,805 --> 00:04:22,590 Oh, my God, I'm so happy. This is fantastic. 97 00:04:22,658 --> 00:04:24,809 What's the matter? 98 00:04:24,877 --> 00:04:27,212 Don't tell me we're out of cake. 99 00:04:27,280 --> 00:04:28,347 No! 100 00:04:28,414 --> 00:04:29,348 Then what is it? 101 00:04:29,415 --> 00:04:31,483 What is it? 102 00:04:31,550 --> 00:04:34,052 How can you say, "what is it?" 103 00:04:35,788 --> 00:04:36,688 Whom is it? 104 00:04:38,257 --> 00:04:41,409 Doug, they bought a vacation house. 105 00:04:41,477 --> 00:04:42,978 A vacation house! 106 00:04:43,046 --> 00:04:45,730 I get it. Ok, you're sad 107 00:04:45,798 --> 00:04:46,582 'cause your friends are happy. 108 00:04:46,733 --> 00:04:47,800 Come here, someone needs a hug! 109 00:04:47,867 --> 00:04:49,334 No. No! I understand. 110 00:04:49,402 --> 00:04:50,635 Listen to me, man. 111 00:04:50,703 --> 00:04:52,954 I mean, how come we can't afford a vacation house? 112 00:04:53,022 --> 00:04:54,389 You make just as much money as Deacon does 113 00:04:54,457 --> 00:04:55,924 and she doesn't work at all! 114 00:04:55,992 --> 00:04:58,276 Maybe their rich Uncle died. 115 00:04:58,344 --> 00:05:00,011 I didn't know they have a rich Uncle. 116 00:05:00,079 --> 00:05:02,046 I don't think they do. Oh, come on! 117 00:05:02,114 --> 00:05:05,050 Look, maybe they got some sort of settlement. 118 00:05:05,117 --> 00:05:08,053 Oh, like from a malpractice suit. 119 00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:10,221 A botched surgery maybe? 120 00:05:10,289 --> 00:05:12,241 Yes, yes. 121 00:05:15,028 --> 00:05:16,578 Oh, yeah, look at that. 122 00:05:16,645 --> 00:05:19,631 Kelly's boobs do not look right. 123 00:05:21,234 --> 00:05:23,301 Eh, her boobs are as good as yours or mine. 124 00:05:25,772 --> 00:05:26,922 H- hey. 125 00:05:26,990 --> 00:05:28,057 How many people does it take to cut a cake, 126 00:05:28,124 --> 00:05:29,791 am I right? We'll be right in, all right. 127 00:05:29,859 --> 00:05:31,744 You just slap a smile on your face 128 00:05:31,811 --> 00:05:33,912 and you pretend you like it when good things happen to other people. 129 00:05:33,980 --> 00:05:35,146 All right? They're waiting. 130 00:05:35,214 --> 00:05:37,515 No, I can't. Just make an excuse or something. 131 00:05:37,583 --> 00:05:38,934 I- I have to get into bed. 132 00:05:39,002 --> 00:05:40,735 Carrie. Look. 133 00:05:40,803 --> 00:05:43,105 They may have a vacation home on a lake, 134 00:05:43,173 --> 00:05:44,673 but we got something much better. 135 00:05:44,740 --> 00:05:45,774 What? 136 00:05:45,842 --> 00:05:48,177 We got this. 137 00:05:54,700 --> 00:05:57,770 All right. You done with that résumé yet? 138 00:05:57,837 --> 00:05:59,171 I want to be at the pool by 4:00. 139 00:05:59,239 --> 00:06:00,139 Yeah, here. 140 00:06:00,206 --> 00:06:01,907 Take a look. 141 00:06:01,975 --> 00:06:04,109 "Name- Spence olchin." 142 00:06:04,177 --> 00:06:06,077 Not loving it. 143 00:06:06,145 --> 00:06:07,796 My name? 144 00:06:07,864 --> 00:06:09,982 What do you think of "Clark gable"? 145 00:06:10,049 --> 00:06:11,783 I- what? 146 00:06:11,851 --> 00:06:14,653 "Clark gable" will get you in doors. 147 00:06:14,721 --> 00:06:15,788 It's an icebreaker- 148 00:06:15,855 --> 00:06:19,157 "oh, my goodness! Your name is Clark gable! 149 00:06:19,225 --> 00:06:21,126 You're hired!" 150 00:06:21,193 --> 00:06:24,179 I- I'm gonna stick with Spence olchin. 151 00:06:24,247 --> 00:06:25,797 It's your funeral. 152 00:06:25,865 --> 00:06:28,834 Now, what did you put under special skills? 153 00:06:28,901 --> 00:06:31,870 Oh, um- "type 60 words a minute." 154 00:06:31,938 --> 00:06:35,107 Uh, "familiar with excel and powerpoint computer programs." 155 00:06:35,175 --> 00:06:38,076 Uh, "speak Spanish and, uh, certified c.P.R." 156 00:06:38,144 --> 00:06:39,310 Mm-hmm. 157 00:06:39,378 --> 00:06:43,348 And are you applying for a job at a boredom factory? 158 00:06:43,415 --> 00:06:44,950 What am I supposed to do? 159 00:06:45,018 --> 00:06:47,619 Nothing. You're brutal on paper. 160 00:06:47,687 --> 00:06:50,388 All right, let's move on to the... 161 00:06:50,456 --> 00:06:51,456 Mock interview. 162 00:06:51,524 --> 00:06:52,991 Ok. All right. 163 00:06:53,059 --> 00:06:55,226 All right, Mr. olchin. 164 00:06:57,479 --> 00:06:59,547 Tell me why you think you would be 165 00:06:59,615 --> 00:07:01,549 an asset to this company. 166 00:07:01,617 --> 00:07:05,870 Uh, well, during my tenure with the metropolitan transit authority, 167 00:07:05,938 --> 00:07:07,605 I learned to deal with people, 168 00:07:07,673 --> 00:07:10,108 and I think that that's given me the abili- 169 00:07:17,133 --> 00:07:18,400 what are you doing? 170 00:07:18,468 --> 00:07:21,136 Giving you a taste of the real world. 171 00:07:22,905 --> 00:07:25,090 Now stop worrying about my hand 172 00:07:25,158 --> 00:07:27,625 and tell me where you see yourself 173 00:07:27,693 --> 00:07:29,328 in 5 years. 174 00:07:29,395 --> 00:07:32,097 Well, in 5 year, I- oh, God... 175 00:07:37,019 --> 00:07:39,121 So, we're so looking forward to having you guys 176 00:07:39,189 --> 00:07:40,389 come up to the house on Saturday. 177 00:07:40,457 --> 00:07:42,291 I mean, the weather's supposed to be great. 178 00:07:42,358 --> 00:07:43,875 I gotta be honest. Unless the weather 179 00:07:43,943 --> 00:07:46,111 affects the cable reception, 180 00:07:46,179 --> 00:07:47,879 it's all the same to me. 181 00:07:47,947 --> 00:07:48,680 Nah, really, man, 182 00:07:48,831 --> 00:07:50,231 it's a whole different world up there. 183 00:07:50,300 --> 00:07:52,033 And we found this awesome restaurant. 184 00:07:52,101 --> 00:07:53,317 It's a converted barn. 185 00:07:53,385 --> 00:07:56,321 Mmm-don't you just love it when you find things? 186 00:07:56,389 --> 00:07:58,289 Like, you ever just walk down the street 187 00:07:58,358 --> 00:08:00,525 and find, like, a big bag of money? 188 00:08:00,593 --> 00:08:01,743 Never happened to you? 189 00:08:02,912 --> 00:08:04,045 Does that ever happen to anyone? 190 00:08:04,113 --> 00:08:05,781 I don't know. 191 00:08:05,849 --> 00:08:07,232 Does it? 192 00:08:09,585 --> 00:08:12,303 So, uh, how's your rich Uncle doing? 193 00:08:12,371 --> 00:08:14,573 I don't have a rich Uncle. 194 00:08:16,009 --> 00:08:17,876 Anymore... 195 00:08:18,978 --> 00:08:20,879 'Scuse me. 196 00:08:20,947 --> 00:08:22,814 Hello? Oh, hey, Denise. 197 00:08:22,882 --> 00:08:24,649 Is everything ok with the kids? 198 00:08:24,717 --> 00:08:26,368 Ok-oh... 199 00:08:26,435 --> 00:08:28,870 Listen, we'll be home in 10 minutes. 200 00:08:28,937 --> 00:08:30,405 Major has another ear infection. 201 00:08:30,473 --> 00:08:31,924 Oh, no. Mm. 202 00:08:31,991 --> 00:08:33,058 Uh, you know, we should get the check. 203 00:08:33,126 --> 00:08:34,759 Oh, no, no, no, we got it, we got it. 204 00:08:34,827 --> 00:08:36,444 Get out of here-go. Go, take care of it. 205 00:08:36,512 --> 00:08:37,245 Thanks, man. All right. Thanks, guys. 206 00:08:37,313 --> 00:08:38,330 Later, guys. 207 00:08:38,398 --> 00:08:39,497 Jeez. 208 00:08:42,268 --> 00:08:44,469 Hope major's ok. 209 00:08:44,536 --> 00:08:45,703 Huh. 210 00:08:47,006 --> 00:08:48,206 What? 211 00:08:48,274 --> 00:08:49,874 You see what just happened here? 212 00:08:49,942 --> 00:08:51,576 We're picking up the check. 213 00:08:53,312 --> 00:08:54,613 I think that happens a lot. 214 00:08:54,680 --> 00:08:56,431 Carrie, their kid is sick. 215 00:08:56,499 --> 00:08:57,749 Was he? 216 00:08:57,817 --> 00:08:59,717 I mean, did we actually hear the other end of the phone call? 217 00:08:59,785 --> 00:09:01,019 No, we did not. 218 00:09:01,086 --> 00:09:03,221 How do we know there's even a "Denise, the babysitter"? 219 00:09:03,289 --> 00:09:05,457 I met her-she's hot. 220 00:09:08,027 --> 00:09:10,261 And it's not just about paying for dinner. 221 00:09:10,329 --> 00:09:11,996 I mean, Kelly never has her wallet. 222 00:09:12,064 --> 00:09:14,032 I'm always buying her gum and magazines 223 00:09:14,099 --> 00:09:16,068 and she says, "I'll catch you next time." 224 00:09:16,135 --> 00:09:18,736 Well, she ain't caught me yet. 225 00:09:18,804 --> 00:09:20,172 You know, you're right. 226 00:09:20,239 --> 00:09:22,774 You know, when Deacon and I went to Jimmy's bachelor party, 227 00:09:22,842 --> 00:09:24,176 guess who laid out the money for the stripper 228 00:09:24,243 --> 00:09:27,012 to do all the extra stuff-me. 229 00:09:28,214 --> 00:09:30,482 That's 'cause you're a good guy, baby. 230 00:09:30,549 --> 00:09:34,552 Oh! And who watches their kids all the time for free? 231 00:09:34,620 --> 00:09:36,254 That saves 'em a crapload of money! 232 00:09:36,322 --> 00:09:38,390 Hell, yeah, Denise is expensive... 233 00:09:38,457 --> 00:09:39,491 And hot. 234 00:09:39,558 --> 00:09:41,159 Ok, you mentioned that. 235 00:09:41,227 --> 00:09:42,310 I'm just saying- she's very hot. 236 00:09:42,378 --> 00:09:44,079 She should be, like, a model or something. 237 00:09:45,481 --> 00:09:47,449 Hey, how tall do you have to be, like, a model? 238 00:09:47,516 --> 00:09:48,367 'Cause she's, like, 5'9"- 239 00:09:48,434 --> 00:09:49,785 ok, stop with the Denise. Ok. 240 00:09:49,852 --> 00:09:52,955 Ok? Ooh- I have a big one. 241 00:09:53,022 --> 00:09:56,391 Who paid for the magic show the other night? 242 00:09:56,459 --> 00:09:59,244 Oh-abracadabra, us! 243 00:09:59,312 --> 00:10:00,995 Exactly. 244 00:10:01,063 --> 00:10:02,381 Oh, wait a second. No, they said 245 00:10:02,448 --> 00:10:03,681 they were gonna pay for dessert later. 246 00:10:03,749 --> 00:10:05,917 Oh, yeah, you're right. 247 00:10:05,985 --> 00:10:08,053 Except we never went for dessert 248 00:10:08,121 --> 00:10:11,790 because Kelly wanted to stop at our house to use the bathroom. 249 00:10:11,858 --> 00:10:14,392 Yeah-oh, our house, where the dessert is always free! 250 00:10:14,459 --> 00:10:16,861 Yeah! God, they're good! 251 00:10:16,929 --> 00:10:19,314 That's how they can afford their fancy getaway, 252 00:10:19,382 --> 00:10:20,982 'cause we helped pay for it! 253 00:10:21,049 --> 00:10:22,950 Unbelievable... 254 00:10:23,018 --> 00:10:24,286 Here's your check, 255 00:10:24,353 --> 00:10:26,621 and your friend's doggy bag. 256 00:10:26,689 --> 00:10:28,590 Well, you know what? This is coming home with me. 257 00:10:39,100 --> 00:10:39,966 Huh? 258 00:10:40,034 --> 00:10:41,568 Huh, what do you think? 259 00:10:41,636 --> 00:10:43,354 Wow! 260 00:10:45,290 --> 00:10:46,790 Check out our view of the lake. 261 00:10:48,459 --> 00:10:50,394 Wow! 262 00:10:51,596 --> 00:10:53,313 Oh, just throw your stuff on the bench. 263 00:10:53,380 --> 00:10:56,583 Wow! 264 00:10:56,651 --> 00:10:58,051 I'll take your bag upstairs. 265 00:10:59,487 --> 00:11:00,670 Just make yourself comfortable. 266 00:11:00,738 --> 00:11:02,339 Remember, our casa es su casa. 267 00:11:02,407 --> 00:11:04,641 Ok! Got that right. 268 00:11:06,344 --> 00:11:10,063 I tell you, I look around here and I think, 269 00:11:10,131 --> 00:11:11,031 "this should be mine. 270 00:11:11,099 --> 00:11:13,600 "My fireplace, my living room, my- 271 00:11:14,803 --> 00:11:17,370 ugly-ass pillow with ducks wearing raincoats!" 272 00:11:18,773 --> 00:11:20,540 This all should be mine! 273 00:11:20,608 --> 00:11:21,825 Look at this. They got a canoe. 274 00:11:21,893 --> 00:11:24,761 I'll tell you one thing- that's coming home with me. 275 00:11:24,829 --> 00:11:27,564 All right, what are you gonna do with a canoe in queens? 276 00:11:27,632 --> 00:11:31,251 What am I not gonna do with a canoe in queens? 277 00:11:31,318 --> 00:11:34,037 Doug, we can't stay here this weekend. 278 00:11:34,105 --> 00:11:36,973 You can't ride tandem bikes with people you hate. 279 00:11:37,041 --> 00:11:39,660 Well, I'll tell you something-I'm gonna only pretend to pedal. 280 00:11:39,727 --> 00:11:42,679 Yeah. I wanna see them pull this up bear Mountain. 281 00:11:42,747 --> 00:11:43,596 Yeah! 282 00:11:43,748 --> 00:11:45,482 Yeah! Yeah! 283 00:11:45,550 --> 00:11:47,584 Wait a second, would you- 284 00:11:47,652 --> 00:11:48,768 listen to us. 285 00:11:48,836 --> 00:11:50,721 Come on, we can't be doing this. 286 00:11:50,789 --> 00:11:53,156 Doug, I'm sorry, but this whole thing ruined our friendship. 287 00:11:53,224 --> 00:11:54,507 We gotta get on the next bus home. 288 00:11:54,575 --> 00:11:57,077 Carrie, they're our best friends! 289 00:11:57,145 --> 00:12:00,014 All right, look, there's gotta be a way we can work this out. 290 00:12:01,215 --> 00:12:02,816 All right, how 'bout this? 291 00:12:02,884 --> 00:12:04,151 Starting now, no more pickin' up checks, 292 00:12:04,218 --> 00:12:05,518 no more free babysitting, 293 00:12:05,586 --> 00:12:07,020 no more nothin'. 294 00:12:07,088 --> 00:12:08,205 Yeah. 295 00:12:08,273 --> 00:12:10,807 The gravy train stops here. 296 00:12:10,875 --> 00:12:14,110 And no jokes about the gravy train always stopping here, ok? 297 00:12:15,679 --> 00:12:17,513 We're on the same team- don't you ruin that. 298 00:12:23,387 --> 00:12:25,722 Hey, Arthur. Hey, Spencer! 299 00:12:25,790 --> 00:12:29,159 Today we'll go over the dos and don'ts of interview dress. 300 00:12:29,227 --> 00:12:31,027 That is a "don't." 301 00:12:31,095 --> 00:12:34,030 Look, Arthur, I tracked down a really good job. 302 00:12:34,099 --> 00:12:35,532 It's in a publishing company. 303 00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:36,533 Really? 304 00:12:36,551 --> 00:12:37,701 Yeah. Check this out. 305 00:12:37,768 --> 00:12:38,768 "Generous starting pay, 306 00:12:38,836 --> 00:12:40,971 "benefits, creative environment, 307 00:12:41,038 --> 00:12:42,806 no experience necessary." 308 00:12:42,873 --> 00:12:44,557 I interview there Monday morning! 309 00:12:44,625 --> 00:12:46,827 That's wonderful, my boy. 310 00:12:46,895 --> 00:12:48,361 You're going to get that job, 311 00:12:48,429 --> 00:12:51,431 and your victory will be my victory. 312 00:12:52,300 --> 00:12:53,750 Arthur, I- 313 00:12:53,818 --> 00:12:55,352 I really wanna thank you for helping me out. 314 00:12:55,419 --> 00:12:56,587 I mean-I mean, 315 00:12:56,654 --> 00:12:59,990 your methods were a little... invasive, 316 00:13:00,057 --> 00:13:04,761 but, um, I really think they gave me the confidence I needed. 317 00:13:04,829 --> 00:13:06,897 Think nothing of it. You know what? 318 00:13:06,964 --> 00:13:08,731 I have a dickey you can borrow. 319 00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:10,167 It's downstairs in my bureau. 320 00:13:10,234 --> 00:13:11,652 Uh, you know what, I'm just gonna- 321 00:13:11,719 --> 00:13:13,003 I'll febreze it and you'll wear it! 322 00:13:16,474 --> 00:13:18,074 Thanks, Arthur. 323 00:13:22,964 --> 00:13:26,333 Um, Arthur, why is your hand down there? 324 00:13:26,401 --> 00:13:28,335 Are you still prepping me for the interview? 325 00:13:29,804 --> 00:13:31,254 Sure. 326 00:13:41,966 --> 00:13:42,999 Hey, where's Doug and Carrie? 327 00:13:43,067 --> 00:13:44,268 The reservation's at 8:00. 328 00:13:44,335 --> 00:13:46,069 Oh, they're coming. Mm. 329 00:13:47,539 --> 00:13:49,423 Wow, it's been nice having them up here with us, huh? 330 00:13:49,491 --> 00:13:50,807 Yeah, they're really great. 331 00:13:52,227 --> 00:13:54,094 If you like cheap white people. 332 00:13:55,063 --> 00:13:56,880 I know. What is with them? 333 00:13:56,947 --> 00:13:58,064 I mean, we let 'em stay at our house 334 00:13:58,132 --> 00:13:59,132 and we pay for everything. 335 00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:00,500 The lunch, the jet skis. 336 00:14:00,567 --> 00:14:01,768 Well, they better pay for dinner tonight. 337 00:14:01,836 --> 00:14:03,553 Oh... they will. 338 00:14:10,561 --> 00:14:12,462 Ok, all right, I got one for you. Ok. 339 00:14:12,530 --> 00:14:13,180 Titanic. 340 00:14:13,248 --> 00:14:15,665 Bill Paxton or bill Pullman? 341 00:14:15,733 --> 00:14:16,883 Bill Paxton. 342 00:14:16,951 --> 00:14:18,251 All right. All right. 343 00:14:18,319 --> 00:14:20,687 While you were sleeping- Paxton or Pullman? 344 00:14:20,754 --> 00:14:21,788 Please, that is pure Pullman. 345 00:14:21,856 --> 00:14:23,089 Come on, I'm not even breaking a sweat here. 346 00:14:23,158 --> 00:14:24,258 All right, all right, I got one for you. 347 00:14:24,325 --> 00:14:25,959 Casper, the friendly ghost. 348 00:14:26,027 --> 00:14:27,561 Unh. Paxton or Pullman? 349 00:14:27,629 --> 00:14:29,796 I was just watching this-uh... 350 00:14:31,166 --> 00:14:32,166 I wanna say Paxton. 351 00:14:33,268 --> 00:14:34,368 No? No? Wrong-drink! 352 00:14:34,435 --> 00:14:35,702 Drink. Oh, man. 353 00:14:35,769 --> 00:14:38,638 Here's your check. 354 00:14:45,096 --> 00:14:46,162 Dinner. 355 00:14:48,349 --> 00:14:51,084 Dinner be done. 356 00:14:51,152 --> 00:14:53,320 That it be. 357 00:14:54,772 --> 00:14:55,938 Thanks, you guys. This was great. 358 00:14:56,006 --> 00:14:57,407 Oh, no... 359 00:14:57,474 --> 00:14:59,142 Thank you. 360 00:15:00,695 --> 00:15:02,896 So the mets are looking good this year, right? 361 00:15:06,067 --> 00:15:07,634 Yeah, they are, they are. 362 00:15:07,702 --> 00:15:10,169 They-they can always use another starter, but, uh... 363 00:15:10,237 --> 00:15:12,222 I likes what I see. 364 00:15:16,677 --> 00:15:18,861 Oh, Kelly, there's a fly right there. 365 00:15:18,929 --> 00:15:21,331 Oh, sorry- missed it. 366 00:15:22,383 --> 00:15:25,602 God, is it me, or is it a million degrees in here? 367 00:15:27,121 --> 00:15:28,705 It's just you. 368 00:15:34,278 --> 00:15:35,512 Wow, you know, look at the time. 369 00:15:35,580 --> 00:15:36,863 We should probably take off. 370 00:15:36,931 --> 00:15:38,247 Oh, God! 371 00:15:38,315 --> 00:15:39,950 Doug! Oh, my God! 372 00:15:40,017 --> 00:15:41,117 Are you hurt? 373 00:15:41,185 --> 00:15:42,719 I just stabbed my foot with a butter knife. 374 00:15:42,787 --> 00:15:44,521 I'm very much hurt, yes. 375 00:15:44,589 --> 00:15:45,688 We gotta go take care of this. 376 00:15:45,756 --> 00:15:47,190 We got to-sorry. 377 00:15:47,258 --> 00:15:48,492 Never a dull moment with this one, right? 378 00:15:48,559 --> 00:15:49,792 We'll see you back at the house. 379 00:15:54,615 --> 00:15:55,698 Nicely done. 380 00:15:55,766 --> 00:15:58,301 Oh, yeah. I play to win. 381 00:15:58,369 --> 00:15:59,302 Now let's go- 382 00:15:59,370 --> 00:16:00,637 my shoe's filling with blood. 383 00:16:07,462 --> 00:16:10,964 Hi, I'm Spence olchin. I have a 10 A.M. with Bob stillman. 384 00:16:11,032 --> 00:16:13,216 Just have a seat. He'll be with you in a moment. 385 00:16:17,105 --> 00:16:20,106 Well, it was a real pleasure meeting you, Mr. gable. 386 00:16:20,174 --> 00:16:21,775 Call me Clark. 387 00:16:21,842 --> 00:16:23,259 Let's make this happen. 388 00:16:24,828 --> 00:16:26,412 Arthur, what are you doing here? 389 00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:27,881 Nailing an interview. 390 00:16:27,949 --> 00:16:30,233 You applied for the job I told you about? 391 00:16:30,300 --> 00:16:32,034 You snooze, you lose. 392 00:16:32,102 --> 00:16:34,087 No, I didn't snooze. I got here early. 393 00:16:34,155 --> 00:16:35,805 I'm sorry, Spence, but don't you see? 394 00:16:35,873 --> 00:16:37,407 This is my last chance for success. 395 00:16:37,474 --> 00:16:39,542 No, you-you said if I was successful, 396 00:16:39,610 --> 00:16:40,743 you were gonna live through me. 397 00:16:40,811 --> 00:16:42,012 Change of plans. 398 00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:43,980 You're gonna live through me. 399 00:16:44,048 --> 00:16:45,048 Mr. olchin? 400 00:16:45,983 --> 00:16:47,434 Mr. stillman will see you now. 401 00:16:47,502 --> 00:16:48,868 Ok. You know what, Arthur? 402 00:16:48,936 --> 00:16:50,086 I'm gonna go in there, 403 00:16:50,153 --> 00:16:50,987 I'm gonna dazzle them, 404 00:16:51,054 --> 00:16:52,288 and I'm gonna get this job. 405 00:16:52,356 --> 00:16:54,156 And you'll have done all of this for nothing. 406 00:16:54,224 --> 00:16:57,027 Don't count it- I bad-mouthed you pretty good. Mm-hmm. 407 00:17:04,802 --> 00:17:06,386 Ok, we're ready. 408 00:17:06,454 --> 00:17:07,637 Ok, good. 409 00:17:07,705 --> 00:17:09,489 Hey, honey, we've got, like, no gas. 410 00:17:09,557 --> 00:17:11,457 Oh, ok. 411 00:17:11,525 --> 00:17:13,776 You guys continue packing. I'll go fill the car up. 412 00:17:15,697 --> 00:17:18,131 That-that'd be great. Thanks. 413 00:17:19,016 --> 00:17:21,768 So you got, like, a texaco card or...? 414 00:17:23,037 --> 00:17:25,438 Sorry, I already packed my wallet. 415 00:17:25,506 --> 00:17:27,757 Oh, really, which bag? Doug will get it. Doug, get it. 416 00:17:27,824 --> 00:17:29,726 Ok. 417 00:17:29,794 --> 00:17:30,894 That's ok. 418 00:17:30,962 --> 00:17:32,495 I think it's good where it is. 419 00:17:32,563 --> 00:17:34,214 It's just that we paid for gas 420 00:17:34,281 --> 00:17:35,148 on the way up here, 421 00:17:35,216 --> 00:17:36,682 and it's not cheap. 422 00:17:36,750 --> 00:17:38,268 Well, I know what is cheap. 423 00:17:38,335 --> 00:17:39,386 I know what is cheap, too. 424 00:17:39,453 --> 00:17:40,086 I don't think you do know what is cheap. 425 00:17:40,405 --> 00:17:42,072 I do know what's cheap! 426 00:17:42,140 --> 00:17:43,473 Yeah, really? What's cheap? You guys! 427 00:17:43,508 --> 00:17:44,741 What?! Yeah, that's right. 428 00:17:44,892 --> 00:17:46,226 We are? 429 00:17:46,293 --> 00:17:47,461 Brother, you stabbed your own damn foot 430 00:17:47,528 --> 00:17:48,729 to get out of paying the check. 431 00:17:48,796 --> 00:17:50,296 Yeah, that's because that's the only way 432 00:17:50,365 --> 00:17:52,065 we can get out of picking up a check. 433 00:17:52,132 --> 00:17:53,133 What are you talking about? 434 00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:54,867 We paid for everything all weekend. 435 00:17:54,935 --> 00:17:57,837 We have been carrying you guys for years. 436 00:17:57,905 --> 00:17:59,072 What?! 437 00:17:59,140 --> 00:18:01,424 Gum and strippers ain't free, buddy. 438 00:18:01,492 --> 00:18:04,961 Yeah. And don't even get us started on holiday gifts. 439 00:18:05,029 --> 00:18:08,382 Yeah, is it Christmas or kwanzaa? Pick one! 440 00:18:08,449 --> 00:18:09,399 I can't believe what I'm hearing. 441 00:18:09,500 --> 00:18:10,583 Guy, how much money do I spend on you 442 00:18:10,651 --> 00:18:11,818 at lunch every day? 443 00:18:11,886 --> 00:18:13,720 Look-hey, we always split the bill in half. 444 00:18:13,788 --> 00:18:15,488 We don't split the food in half. 445 00:18:15,556 --> 00:18:17,257 All right, ok, listen. 446 00:18:17,324 --> 00:18:19,259 If you haven't been sponging off us for years 447 00:18:19,326 --> 00:18:20,927 and you don't have a dead rich Uncle, 448 00:18:20,995 --> 00:18:22,262 then how do you explain 449 00:18:22,329 --> 00:18:24,197 that you guys can afford this place and we can't? 450 00:18:25,666 --> 00:18:27,533 Not that it's any of your business, 451 00:18:27,601 --> 00:18:29,069 but we have been saving for this place 452 00:18:29,136 --> 00:18:30,070 for a very long time. 453 00:18:30,137 --> 00:18:31,470 We've been taking part of my paycheck 454 00:18:31,538 --> 00:18:32,872 every week and putting it aside. 455 00:18:32,940 --> 00:18:35,975 Look, we've cut back on takeout, gifts for each other. 456 00:18:36,043 --> 00:18:37,410 We really sacrificed. 457 00:18:39,146 --> 00:18:40,514 Well, I don't need your whole life story. 458 00:18:43,651 --> 00:18:46,653 And anyway, we can save if we wanted to. 459 00:18:47,772 --> 00:18:49,873 Then... Why didn't we? 460 00:18:51,909 --> 00:18:53,927 Why didn't we? 461 00:18:53,994 --> 00:18:56,096 You're asking me, "why didn't we?" 462 00:18:56,163 --> 00:18:58,014 Are you saying it's my fault? 463 00:18:58,082 --> 00:18:59,732 Uh, excuse me, but I'm not the one 464 00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:02,602 who invests my paycheck in white castle every night. 465 00:19:04,838 --> 00:19:06,922 Hey, first of all, I almost always have a coupon, 466 00:19:06,990 --> 00:19:08,341 which is more than you can say when you go buy 467 00:19:08,409 --> 00:19:10,743 your fancy halston dresses! 468 00:19:10,811 --> 00:19:13,746 Ok, I don't have any halston dresses, idiot. 469 00:19:13,814 --> 00:19:15,865 It's not 1979. 470 00:19:17,635 --> 00:19:18,768 I'm gonna be in the car! 471 00:19:18,836 --> 00:19:22,038 Wait, I saw you packing some pretty fancy clothes 472 00:19:22,105 --> 00:19:23,740 with some fruity labels, and that spells cash! 473 00:19:23,807 --> 00:19:26,208 Yeah, you don't even know how to spell cash! 474 00:19:27,945 --> 00:19:31,314 So we ever gonna tell them about the, uh, bad boob job? 475 00:19:31,382 --> 00:19:34,100 Uh, hell no! We take that to the grave! 476 00:19:37,070 --> 00:19:39,339 I mean... they're looking a lot better, right? 477 00:19:39,407 --> 00:19:41,007 Oh, yeah. 478 00:19:58,192 --> 00:19:59,359 Mr. gable. 479 00:19:59,427 --> 00:20:01,161 We checked your résumé. 480 00:20:01,228 --> 00:20:03,729 None of your references have ever heard of you, 481 00:20:03,797 --> 00:20:05,698 and that social security number you gave us 482 00:20:05,766 --> 00:20:07,700 is the gamblers anonymous hotline. 483 00:20:09,070 --> 00:20:10,603 We're gonna have to ask you to leave. 484 00:20:10,671 --> 00:20:11,921 All right, then. 485 00:20:25,469 --> 00:20:29,939 So tell me about your new job, big guy. 486 00:20:32,226 --> 00:20:34,161 Nice try, spanky. 487 00:20:34,228 --> 00:20:35,828 I already got fired. 34070

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