Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:04,754 --> 00:00:07,215
(bells jingling)
2
00:00:07,298 --> 00:00:11,094
(children laughing)
3
00:00:11,177 --> 00:00:14,222
(joyful music playing)
4
00:00:19,144 --> 00:00:22,230
♪ ♪
5
00:00:30,780 --> 00:00:31,740
(car horn)
6
00:00:32,824 --> 00:00:35,243
♪ ♪
7
00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:43,042
All right, good job, guys.
8
00:00:43,126 --> 00:00:45,420
Make sure those are stacked
in order of continents.
9
00:00:45,503 --> 00:00:47,088
And keep the puppies
away from the kittens,
10
00:00:47,172 --> 00:00:48,757
and the kittens away
from the goldfish.
11
00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:52,093
And make sure the reptiles--
Sweet American Jesus!
12
00:00:52,177 --> 00:00:53,720
This lizard is dead!
13
00:00:53,803 --> 00:00:56,556
Come on, guys!
It's Christmas
fuckin' Eve!
14
00:00:56,639 --> 00:00:58,850
There's no time
for amateur hour here.
15
00:00:58,933 --> 00:01:03,021
Now, get another one before
Tiffany Chang from Tallahassee
16
00:01:03,104 --> 00:01:05,190
loses her shit.
17
00:01:05,273 --> 00:01:06,858
Halloween? Bullshit.
18
00:01:06,941 --> 00:01:08,985
Easter? Fuck that stupid bunny.
19
00:01:09,068 --> 00:01:12,030
May Day?
What the fuck is May Day?
20
00:01:12,113 --> 00:01:15,658
This is The Big One.
The X-Games, X-Caliber,
21
00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:17,786
it's X-Mas, baby,
and that X
22
00:01:17,869 --> 00:01:20,955
is for X-tra
X-traordinary!
23
00:01:21,039 --> 00:01:22,582
Santa chose me as his successor
24
00:01:22,665 --> 00:01:24,083
because I know how
to run this place,
25
00:01:24,167 --> 00:01:25,585
and get the best outta you guys.
26
00:01:25,668 --> 00:01:27,462
And I think
you guys are the best.
27
00:01:27,545 --> 00:01:30,089
You come from a long line
of distinguished reindeer
28
00:01:30,173 --> 00:01:34,552
who have performed
valiantly on Christmas Eve
for hundreds of years.
29
00:01:34,636 --> 00:01:38,807
Dasher... Comet... Blitzen...
30
00:01:38,890 --> 00:01:42,644
And Junior, the son
of the greatest of them all.
Fashionably late.
31
00:01:42,727 --> 00:01:46,397
Let me just get
right up front here
in the driver's seat.
32
00:01:46,481 --> 00:01:49,108
Who's ready to smell
Junior's ass tonight?
33
00:01:49,192 --> 00:01:52,028
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
34
00:01:52,111 --> 00:01:54,155
Now let's get those
fucking kids their presents
35
00:01:54,239 --> 00:01:55,824
in record time
this year.
36
00:01:55,907 --> 00:01:57,033
(cheering)
37
00:01:58,576 --> 00:02:01,287
The Lady Candy,
my second-in-command.
38
00:02:01,371 --> 00:02:02,622
I'd be nothing
without you.
39
00:02:02,705 --> 00:02:04,624
You are a fucking
rock star!
40
00:02:04,707 --> 00:02:08,127
After tonight,
I insist that you go
to a hotel room and trash it.
41
00:02:08,211 --> 00:02:11,339
I will do it!
I will drug groupies!
42
00:02:11,422 --> 00:02:12,966
I will shit on the bed!
43
00:02:13,049 --> 00:02:14,342
I will fuck a baby shark,
44
00:02:14,425 --> 00:02:15,718
and bite its head off.
45
00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:17,470
Ha, ha! Woo!
46
00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:18,763
Okay, take it down a notch.
47
00:02:18,847 --> 00:02:19,806
(sirens wailing)
48
00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:22,725
(all gasp)
49
00:02:26,104 --> 00:02:29,023
May I present
the Sultan of the Sleigh Ride,
50
00:02:29,107 --> 00:02:31,276
The Thunda
from the Tundra,
51
00:02:31,359 --> 00:02:34,529
the hardest-working man
in "snow" biz.
52
00:02:34,612 --> 00:02:37,031
-(chanting "Santa")
-Good golly, he's jolly!
53
00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:43,204
Our own
Santa Claus...!
54
00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:45,498
Hey!
Merry Christmas,
Feliz Navidad.
55
00:02:45,582 --> 00:02:47,250
Hey, good to see you.
How are you?
56
00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:49,085
Whoa, you're on
my naughty list.
57
00:02:49,168 --> 00:02:52,505
Good news, sir,
only 8% of kids under 10
don't believe in you.
58
00:02:52,589 --> 00:02:54,674
That's down
from 12% last year.
59
00:02:54,757 --> 00:02:55,592
Wow!
60
00:02:55,675 --> 00:02:57,010
More American kids
believe in you
61
00:02:57,093 --> 00:02:59,804
than they do in vaccines
or the Holocaust.
62
00:02:59,888 --> 00:03:00,889
That's great!
63
00:03:00,972 --> 00:03:02,557
I mean,
disheartening for America,
64
00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:04,893
but great for us.
65
00:03:04,976 --> 00:03:07,937
Announcer:
Sleigh launch commencing
in T-minus 10...
66
00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:10,523
-Merry Christmas!
-(countdown continues)
67
00:03:10,607 --> 00:03:14,986
And to all a kick-ass night!
68
00:03:15,069 --> 00:03:16,905
Peace!
69
00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:19,741
Announcer:
...one, zero.
70
00:03:19,824 --> 00:03:23,703
We are a go.
Repeat, Christmas is a go.
71
00:03:25,663 --> 00:03:27,749
Weather's rough all
over tonight, kids.
72
00:03:27,832 --> 00:03:29,250
Veer left towards Manhattan.
73
00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:31,753
Winds are coming in at
a gentle 15 miles per hour
74
00:03:31,836 --> 00:03:33,755
above the Empire
State Building so--
75
00:03:33,838 --> 00:03:34,839
It's happening!
76
00:03:34,923 --> 00:03:36,507
The anti-Christmas
pigeons are out.
77
00:03:36,591 --> 00:03:39,928
They've already shit
on the Rockefeller Center tree.
78
00:03:40,011 --> 00:03:41,304
Candy:
Those fucking assholes.
79
00:03:41,387 --> 00:03:43,473
It's like they save up
a year's worth of shit
80
00:03:43,556 --> 00:03:45,224
for this one day.
81
00:03:46,225 --> 00:03:48,019
Send in the fighter jets!
82
00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:52,941
Bread drop over
Central Park Sheep's Meadow.
83
00:03:53,024 --> 00:03:55,109
Let's make it rain carbs, kids.
84
00:03:57,028 --> 00:03:58,988
(pigeons cooing)
85
00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:00,782
How many sleeping pills
we got in the bread?
86
00:04:00,865 --> 00:04:02,951
-Upwards of a thousand, ma'am.
-Great.
87
00:04:03,034 --> 00:04:06,829
These turtle doves will be down
for all 12 days of Christmas.
88
00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:08,289
(cheers and applause)
89
00:04:09,749 --> 00:04:12,710
-Stop, stop.
It was nothing.
-(cheering stops)
90
00:04:12,794 --> 00:04:15,463
No, hey, I'm lying.
It was very much my idea.
91
00:04:15,546 --> 00:04:17,090
I killed it. Keep clapping.
92
00:04:17,173 --> 00:04:19,217
(cheers and applause)
93
00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:24,222
(joyful music playing)
94
00:04:28,977 --> 00:04:30,979
Good morning,
emotional vampires.
95
00:04:31,062 --> 00:04:33,272
My day's
gonna be insane.
96
00:04:33,356 --> 00:04:35,566
(muffled)
Brent and I have to go through
all the thank you notes,
97
00:04:35,650 --> 00:04:38,987
-the hate mail--
-My day's gonna be pretty
intense, too, actually.
98
00:04:39,070 --> 00:04:40,488
Probably somethin' we
should pay attention to.
99
00:04:40,571 --> 00:04:42,824
Oh, really?
Oh, what's going on
with you today, Tony?
100
00:04:42,907 --> 00:04:46,411
You have to cut your toenails?
Is it that time of year again?
101
00:04:46,494 --> 00:04:48,329
(laughing)
102
00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:50,999
I'm laying down tracks
on a new Christmas song.
103
00:04:51,082 --> 00:04:53,293
Did you ever play
my last one for Santa?
104
00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:55,003
That crap? No chance.
105
00:04:55,086 --> 00:04:56,587
Candy, don't be mean
to your brother.
106
00:04:56,671 --> 00:04:58,965
His father died when he
was a very young child.
107
00:04:59,048 --> 00:05:02,260
Yeah, I know.
He was actually
my father, too.
108
00:05:02,343 --> 00:05:06,014
Oh, wow.
Someone's dead-dad-greedy.
109
00:05:06,097 --> 00:05:09,559
Speakin' of, I dedicate this
sick shit to my dead pops.
110
00:05:09,642 --> 00:05:11,978
May the stale gumdrop
that fell on him
111
00:05:12,061 --> 00:05:14,522
and crushed his head
burn in hell.
112
00:05:14,605 --> 00:05:17,650
♪ Santa Claus he likes it raw ♪
113
00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:19,610
♪ But his wife ain't no ho ♪
114
00:05:19,694 --> 00:05:21,821
♪ She don't suck
on dat north pole ♪
115
00:05:21,904 --> 00:05:22,655
Hey!
116
00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:24,365
I was catfishin' an eight!
117
00:05:24,449 --> 00:05:28,411
I'm gonna finish
that abortion Mom tried
to have 35 years ago!
118
00:05:28,494 --> 00:05:31,164
-Ahh!
-(grunting)
119
00:05:31,247 --> 00:05:34,250
Help!
My son's being attacked!
120
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:35,293
Somebody help us!
121
00:05:35,376 --> 00:05:36,669
-(punching)
-(grunting)
122
00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:38,838
Candy:
Crash somewhere
else, grifters.
123
00:05:40,715 --> 00:05:42,383
Thank you notes
are coming in.
124
00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:43,968
Kids love
their presents.
125
00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:45,553
Another Christmas
gone perfectly.
126
00:05:45,636 --> 00:05:48,431
Woo! Woo!
This is why
I brag to everyone
127
00:05:48,514 --> 00:05:50,183
that we're BFFs.
128
00:05:50,266 --> 00:05:52,810
-(dings)
-Back off! No high-fives
from anyone but me!
129
00:05:52,894 --> 00:05:54,771
-Grr.
-Candy, I don't know
how you deal with
130
00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:56,105
all these clingy,
needy types.
131
00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:57,523
I really don't.
132
00:05:58,483 --> 00:06:00,068
Hey, hey.
What's goin' on?
133
00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:01,235
I'm so frustrated.
134
00:06:01,319 --> 00:06:02,403
None of us
B-Team Women
135
00:06:02,487 --> 00:06:03,738
got called up
to the sleigh.
136
00:06:03,821 --> 00:06:04,697
Again.
137
00:06:04,781 --> 00:06:06,491
We train hard
every day of the year
138
00:06:06,574 --> 00:06:09,577
just to sit on
the fucking bench
every Christmas Eve.
139
00:06:09,660 --> 00:06:11,746
It doesn't mean you're
not as vital to the system
140
00:06:11,829 --> 00:06:13,748
as any one of those dudes.
141
00:06:13,831 --> 00:06:14,916
(sighs)
I guess.
142
00:06:14,999 --> 00:06:16,042
And if you want, honestly,
143
00:06:16,125 --> 00:06:17,710
I will slit Junior's
throat next year
144
00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:18,795
so you can lead the team.
145
00:06:18,878 --> 00:06:20,838
I swear to God,
just give me the word,
146
00:06:20,922 --> 00:06:22,381
-and I will cut him.
-(Goldie laughs)
147
00:06:22,465 --> 00:06:23,925
On the positive side,
148
00:06:24,008 --> 00:06:25,635
your body is sick!
149
00:06:25,718 --> 00:06:26,511
You right.
150
00:06:26,594 --> 00:06:27,678
All this training
does make me
151
00:06:27,762 --> 00:06:29,222
a monster
in the sack.
152
00:06:29,305 --> 00:06:31,808
I had a three-way with Prancer
and his girlfriend last night,
153
00:06:31,891 --> 00:06:34,977
(sing-song):
and no one was complaining.
154
00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:36,437
Oh my god.
Your life is amazing.
155
00:06:36,521 --> 00:06:37,814
-Hot deets!
-Well, we did it
156
00:06:37,897 --> 00:06:39,190
reindeer style,
doggy style,
157
00:06:39,273 --> 00:06:41,984
koala style--
the girlfriend
is Australian.
158
00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:44,237
And it's a good thing
Prancer's not Santa
159
00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:46,864
because his dick was
as thick as a chimney.
160
00:06:46,948 --> 00:06:50,201
Ooh, yeah, gimme
some more of that
vicarious shit.
161
00:06:50,284 --> 00:06:51,619
Eh, I'm late
for weight training,
162
00:06:51,702 --> 00:06:54,122
-but thanks
for cheerin' me up, guys.
-See ya.
163
00:06:54,205 --> 00:06:55,915
So, I had this
insane dream last night
164
00:06:55,998 --> 00:06:58,292
that I was actually
wearing Santa's suit--
165
00:06:58,376 --> 00:07:00,962
Oh, a dream?
Must be nice.
166
00:07:01,045 --> 00:07:02,630
I don't have
dreams anymore
167
00:07:02,713 --> 00:07:04,173
because I don't ever sleep
168
00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:05,424
because for some reason,
169
00:07:05,508 --> 00:07:07,552
I wanted to be
a wife and mother.
170
00:07:07,635 --> 00:07:08,719
Oh, I'm sorry, Fun Size.
171
00:07:08,803 --> 00:07:10,972
You know I love you,
baby, right?
172
00:07:11,055 --> 00:07:12,431
Right?
Answer me!
173
00:07:12,515 --> 00:07:14,267
Why isn't he answering?!
Is he dead?!
174
00:07:14,350 --> 00:07:18,020
Uh, I don't know.
He's blue and not breathing,
so maybe.
175
00:07:18,104 --> 00:07:20,314
Call 911!
Help my baby!
176
00:07:20,398 --> 00:07:21,649
I'm just
fucking with you.
177
00:07:21,732 --> 00:07:23,192
He's asleep,
you psycho.
178
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:24,443
Oh, okay, good.
179
00:07:24,527 --> 00:07:26,654
Being a mom is so hard.
180
00:07:26,737 --> 00:07:29,574
Take my advice, Candy.
Never have kids.
181
00:07:29,657 --> 00:07:30,741
Wasn't planning on it.
182
00:07:30,825 --> 00:07:32,410
Oh, really?
That makes me sad.
183
00:07:32,493 --> 00:07:34,036
You'd be such
a good mom.
184
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,413
Promise me you'll
think about it.
185
00:07:35,496 --> 00:07:37,790
Okay, gotta drop
this fucker off
at daycare.
186
00:07:37,874 --> 00:07:39,417
Byeee!
187
00:07:39,500 --> 00:07:41,836
(phone ringing)
188
00:07:41,919 --> 00:07:45,423
♪ ♪
189
00:07:47,592 --> 00:07:49,677
-Morning, Jeremy. Brent in yet?
-Shush!
190
00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:51,888
Retweeting a retweet
from an influencer
191
00:07:51,971 --> 00:07:55,016
regarding
helping our world.
192
00:07:55,099 --> 00:07:56,350
All done. Brent's not in.
193
00:07:56,434 --> 00:07:57,852
Grab me a coffee?
Thank you.
194
00:07:57,935 --> 00:08:00,354
Come on, man.
You're the assistant.
195
00:08:00,438 --> 00:08:02,940
Grab me a coffee.
Get me a scone, too.
196
00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:05,776
Unless they're all maple
because gross. Fuck maple.
197
00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:07,361
-This is harassment.
-(alarm sounds)
198
00:08:07,445 --> 00:08:08,863
Jingle Jim:
All employees, this is your
199
00:08:08,946 --> 00:08:11,073
Chief of Staff,
Jingle Jim.
200
00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:12,325
Gather at the Campus Square
201
00:08:12,408 --> 00:08:14,243
for an announcement by Santa.
202
00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:15,870
This is not a drill.
203
00:08:15,953 --> 00:08:17,038
I'm sure it's just a drill.
204
00:08:17,121 --> 00:08:19,498
Shut up and gather
at the Square!
205
00:08:21,667 --> 00:08:23,586
What up? What up?
206
00:08:23,669 --> 00:08:25,546
Love you. Love you.
207
00:08:25,630 --> 00:08:27,006
Mad at you. Love you.
208
00:08:27,089 --> 00:08:29,508
Pumping her boobs
in public? God.
209
00:08:29,592 --> 00:08:30,718
It's called a tit!
210
00:08:30,801 --> 00:08:32,053
Your Mom has two of 'em.
211
00:08:32,136 --> 00:08:33,429
Deal with it, bro.
212
00:08:33,512 --> 00:08:35,514
Could there be
one nursing room
in this place?
213
00:08:35,598 --> 00:08:36,724
I have to get
up there.
214
00:08:36,807 --> 00:08:37,558
How do I look?
215
00:08:37,642 --> 00:08:38,517
Goldie, come here.
216
00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:40,394
Go 'head, boo.
I'm not gon' blink.
217
00:08:40,478 --> 00:08:43,064
God, I look old.
I'm getting elf neck.
218
00:08:43,147 --> 00:08:45,900
No, you're not.
You have perfect skin.
219
00:08:45,983 --> 00:08:48,194
My body was wrecked
by childbirth.
220
00:08:48,277 --> 00:08:51,405
A gingerbread episiotomy
is no joke, kids.
221
00:08:53,658 --> 00:08:55,952
Hey, why only two chairs?
What about Brent?
222
00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:57,536
Make sure
you tell Santa
223
00:08:57,620 --> 00:09:00,581
those other morons
barely lifted
a hoof this year.
224
00:09:00,665 --> 00:09:01,958
I'm the star quarterback
taking a team
225
00:09:02,041 --> 00:09:03,417
of knuckleheads
to the Super Bowl.
226
00:09:03,501 --> 00:09:05,378
And you know I'm the one
who's actually drivin'
227
00:09:05,461 --> 00:09:06,545
that sleigh, right?
228
00:09:06,629 --> 00:09:08,548
I just let Santa
think he's steerin'.
229
00:09:10,466 --> 00:09:11,842
Don't tell him that part.
230
00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:14,595
I know you hate me.
231
00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:16,430
What the fuck?
You hate me.
232
00:09:16,514 --> 00:09:19,517
I guess I just don't
understand what purpose
you serve at Santa Inc.
233
00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:21,852
Are you a secretary who
sits in on big meetings?
234
00:09:21,936 --> 00:09:23,437
A waitress who
never has food?
235
00:09:23,521 --> 00:09:25,982
Junior, I am the number two
Executive Vice President
236
00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:30,152
at Santa Inc. who
only answers to Santa,
Brent, and the Board.
237
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:31,904
I can end that
nose of yours.
238
00:09:31,988 --> 00:09:33,447
I'd like to see
you try.
239
00:09:33,531 --> 00:09:35,533
A lotta powerful people
need this nose to glow,
240
00:09:35,616 --> 00:09:36,993
so they can pay
their mortgages
241
00:09:37,076 --> 00:09:38,661
and send their kids
to private school.
242
00:09:38,744 --> 00:09:41,205
So, by all means,
go ahead and try
243
00:09:41,289 --> 00:09:43,040
to stop this nose
from glowin'.
244
00:09:43,124 --> 00:09:45,418
Goddammit,
you're right.
245
00:09:45,501 --> 00:09:47,211
Beings of Santa Inc.,
246
00:09:47,295 --> 00:09:50,339
It is I,
your Chief of Staff,
Jingle Jim.
247
00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:51,507
(chattering)
248
00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,592
Shut up,
you worthless assholes!
249
00:09:53,676 --> 00:09:56,137
-(all gasping)
-(coughs)
250
00:09:56,220 --> 00:09:59,348
I present Saint Nicholas XIX!
251
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:00,725
(cheering)
252
00:10:01,976 --> 00:10:04,270
Thank you all
for the very warm welcome.
253
00:10:04,353 --> 00:10:06,480
I just wanna tell you all
that this year, we reached
254
00:10:06,564 --> 00:10:09,150
more kids than ever before.
255
00:10:09,233 --> 00:10:14,697
One billion six thousand--
No, wait, six, four, 16 billion?
256
00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:15,990
Holy-- That-- You know what?
257
00:10:16,073 --> 00:10:17,867
I'm not good
with these big numbers.
258
00:10:17,950 --> 00:10:19,535
We got a lot of these
little motherfuckers.
259
00:10:19,618 --> 00:10:23,247
(chanting "Santa")
260
00:10:23,331 --> 00:10:28,169
But, this Christmas Eve,
something happened
in Seattle, Washington,
261
00:10:28,252 --> 00:10:31,756
that left a lump
of coal in my heart.
262
00:10:31,839 --> 00:10:33,716
(rock music plays)
263
00:10:35,426 --> 00:10:37,470
Brent? I'm Jeff Bezos.
264
00:10:37,553 --> 00:10:40,139
Oh my god, Jeff Bezos.
I can't believe it's you.
265
00:10:40,222 --> 00:10:42,850
I would like for you
to come work for me at Amazon.
266
00:10:42,933 --> 00:10:44,852
Do I have to use
an Amazon Fire Phone?
267
00:10:44,935 --> 00:10:45,978
-No.
-I'm in.
268
00:10:46,062 --> 00:10:47,855
What?!
This is insane!
269
00:10:47,938 --> 00:10:49,023
Brent's a traitor!
270
00:10:49,106 --> 00:10:50,941
Amazon Prime is
slow and useless!
271
00:10:51,025 --> 00:10:52,526
Crowd Member:
Suck a bag of dicks!
272
00:10:52,610 --> 00:10:54,570
(Board members muttering)
273
00:10:54,653 --> 00:10:58,449
I know this is shocking news,
but please, please,
274
00:10:58,532 --> 00:11:00,201
let's just be happy for Brent.
275
00:11:00,284 --> 00:11:03,245
Let's wish him luck,
even though he screwed us.
276
00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:06,248
Without so much as a warning.
277
00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:08,542
He fucked us dry, folks.
I'm just gonna say it.
278
00:11:08,626 --> 00:11:11,754
The warning would've been lube,
but he withheld that.
279
00:11:11,837 --> 00:11:15,091
So, we are all
chafed this morning.
280
00:11:15,174 --> 00:11:17,218
Super chafed, but...
281
00:11:17,301 --> 00:11:20,554
this rash will go away,
just like Brent did.
282
00:11:20,638 --> 00:11:24,225
It won't spread from our nethers
to cover our entire body.
283
00:11:24,308 --> 00:11:26,560
We will recover
284
00:11:26,644 --> 00:11:30,773
from this un-lub-ri-cated
285
00:11:30,856 --> 00:11:32,983
fucking Brent gave us.
286
00:11:33,067 --> 00:11:35,236
Santa, I'm here
from The North Pole Times.
287
00:11:35,319 --> 00:11:37,488
Since Brent was supposed
to succeed you as Santa Claus,
288
00:11:37,571 --> 00:11:40,408
have you decided
who will replace him
and become your Successor?
289
00:11:40,491 --> 00:11:42,743
Subtext, Santa's old
and knocking on death's door.
290
00:11:42,827 --> 00:11:45,204
Fuck you, Harold.
Uh, I mean, uh, that--
291
00:11:45,287 --> 00:11:47,248
Good, good question.
I'll give it some
serious thought.
292
00:11:47,331 --> 00:11:49,500
Ha ha. Ho ho ho. Bye.
293
00:11:49,583 --> 00:11:51,961
(cheering)
294
00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:55,589
Big Candy:
I know who the next Santa is!
295
00:11:55,673 --> 00:12:00,302
Candy, tell him!
It's my son, your brother!
296
00:12:00,386 --> 00:12:03,472
♪ Santa Claus he likes it raw ♪
297
00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:06,142
-(taser shoots)
-(grunts in pain)
298
00:12:06,225 --> 00:12:08,102
♪ Snowflake, snowflake ♪
299
00:12:08,185 --> 00:12:10,396
♪ No two are alike ♪
300
00:12:14,191 --> 00:12:16,444
How could Brent
just leave?
301
00:12:16,527 --> 00:12:17,862
He was my mentor.
302
00:12:17,945 --> 00:12:20,781
He taught me everything,
everything I know.
303
00:12:20,865 --> 00:12:22,950
He made me love my job.
304
00:12:23,033 --> 00:12:24,785
He made me love him.
305
00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:26,912
And then he didn't
even say goodbye.
306
00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:28,581
Aw, poor Candy.
307
00:12:28,664 --> 00:12:30,207
Poor sweet Candy.
308
00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:33,002
I'm here for you
if you need a shoulder
to cry on.
309
00:12:33,085 --> 00:12:34,753
Or a dick to cry on.
310
00:12:34,837 --> 00:12:36,881
Obviously,
that's offensive
and you suck,
311
00:12:36,964 --> 00:12:40,009
but I'm just curious
how you envision
that working.
312
00:12:40,092 --> 00:12:42,845
Is it like, I cry
and you use my tears
313
00:12:42,928 --> 00:12:45,681
as lubricant
to masturbate
to my sadness?
314
00:12:45,764 --> 00:12:47,683
Or is it like,
I cry and my tears
315
00:12:47,766 --> 00:12:51,145
fall off my face
onto your penis
with a kind of like,
316
00:12:51,228 --> 00:12:53,314
"thwap" sound that
gives you a boner?
317
00:12:53,397 --> 00:12:54,356
Ehhh.
318
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:57,693
Candy Smalls.
Down, but not out.
319
00:12:57,776 --> 00:12:59,987
So, who do you
think is gonna
be the new Santa?
320
00:13:00,070 --> 00:13:01,989
50 bucks it's someone
in the toy factory.
321
00:13:02,072 --> 00:13:04,992
Or one of those fuckin'
jacked reindeers, am I right?
322
00:13:05,075 --> 00:13:07,286
Like Junior.
He's so fuckin' hot.
323
00:13:07,369 --> 00:13:08,621
I mean, he's so jacked.
324
00:13:08,704 --> 00:13:10,539
You fellas know
I meant jacked, right?
325
00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:13,834
Yeah, ha, ha,
like what if the next
Santa is a woman.
326
00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:16,170
That would be so weird,
but like super cool!
327
00:13:16,253 --> 00:13:19,173
-(both laughing)
-A woman Santa?
328
00:13:19,256 --> 00:13:21,342
What if she thinks she's
handin' out candy canes,
329
00:13:21,425 --> 00:13:23,677
and they turn out to be
some fuckin' tampons?
330
00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:25,721
What if her boobies
get caught in the chimney?
331
00:13:25,804 --> 00:13:29,350
Or even worse:
What if she falls
in love with the sleigh?
332
00:13:29,433 --> 00:13:32,228
(all laughing)
333
00:13:37,149 --> 00:13:39,235
(rustling)
334
00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:49,119
(ominous music plays)
335
00:13:49,203 --> 00:13:52,498
Oh, Grandpa.
What're you doing
out so late?
336
00:13:52,581 --> 00:13:55,084
Candy Cane Lane
is the best place
for anonymous
337
00:13:55,167 --> 00:13:57,127
sexual encounters.
338
00:13:57,211 --> 00:13:59,630
Can your heart even handle
a gang bang at your age?
339
00:13:59,713 --> 00:14:01,382
You know what?
Don't answer that.
I don't wanna know.
340
00:14:01,465 --> 00:14:05,344
I won't apologize
for being a vibrant
sexual being.
341
00:14:05,427 --> 00:14:08,556
Nobody should ever
have to apologize
for their secret desires.
342
00:14:08,639 --> 00:14:11,892
It's funny you should
say that because...
343
00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:15,813
well, well because
I wanna be the next Santa.
344
00:14:15,896 --> 00:14:19,692
-Really?
-Yeah, I've been dreaming
about it my whole life,
345
00:14:19,775 --> 00:14:21,944
but, you know, Brent's
always been Successor,
346
00:14:22,027 --> 00:14:25,573
so I never
thought about it
seriously until now.
347
00:14:25,656 --> 00:14:26,740
Is that nuts?
348
00:14:26,824 --> 00:14:29,076
There have been
many Santa Clauses
349
00:14:29,159 --> 00:14:30,578
throughout history.
350
00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:32,288
Some were loved.
351
00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:34,123
Others loathed.
352
00:14:34,206 --> 00:14:36,208
Great and mediocre.
353
00:14:36,292 --> 00:14:40,879
Attractive and gross.
10's and 2's.
354
00:14:40,963 --> 00:14:43,882
Santa Claus XVII
gave lavish presents
355
00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:45,509
to children in
the Third Reich
356
00:14:45,593 --> 00:14:48,345
and escaped
the North Pole
for Argentina.
357
00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:52,558
The point is, Candy,
Santa Inc. is a diverse place.
358
00:14:52,641 --> 00:14:55,185
Humans and magical
creatures of all
359
00:14:55,269 --> 00:14:57,438
races and religions
living together.
360
00:14:57,521 --> 00:15:01,275
But the position
of Santa has mostly been
a white man's game.
361
00:15:01,358 --> 00:15:03,277
There have been
women prime ministers,
362
00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:06,363
women presidents,
even a woman mechanic,
363
00:15:06,447 --> 00:15:10,784
but there has never, ever
been a woman Santa Claus,
364
00:15:10,868 --> 00:15:12,244
or a Jewish Santa Claus.
365
00:15:12,328 --> 00:15:14,413
Exactly! It's fucking crazy!
366
00:15:14,496 --> 00:15:15,956
Things have gotta change!
367
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:17,333
Grandpa Smalls:
My advice to you is,
368
00:15:17,416 --> 00:15:20,794
and this is important,
so listen carefully--
369
00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:22,713
-(gust of wind)
-Whoa!
370
00:15:22,796 --> 00:15:26,091
(shouts):
If I die, get rid of my porn!
371
00:15:26,175 --> 00:15:31,680
It's on a computer icon
called, "Tax Stuff"!
372
00:15:33,515 --> 00:15:35,976
(TV playing)
373
00:15:36,060 --> 00:15:39,229
If you become Santa,
would you put me
on the Reindeer A-team?
374
00:15:39,313 --> 00:15:41,982
Hell yeah, I'd bump
you straight up
to varsity.
375
00:15:42,066 --> 00:15:43,692
Junior can take a year off.
376
00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:45,736
You could lead the sleigh,
and let the other jerks
377
00:15:45,819 --> 00:15:48,280
get stuck smelling
your asshole for once.
378
00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:50,574
-(baby cries)
-Get the fucking baby, Craig!
379
00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:52,785
Don't yell at me
in front of your friends.
380
00:15:52,868 --> 00:15:53,952
Then don't be a dumbass
381
00:15:54,036 --> 00:15:56,205
in front
of my friends, dumbass.
382
00:15:57,665 --> 00:15:59,333
I thought
things were better
between you guys
383
00:15:59,416 --> 00:16:00,376
since the baby.
384
00:16:00,459 --> 00:16:01,752
What do you mean?
They are.
385
00:16:01,835 --> 00:16:02,961
Now listen to me, bitch.
386
00:16:03,045 --> 00:16:04,880
If this is your dream,
you have to at least try
387
00:16:04,963 --> 00:16:07,424
and talk to Santa,
and make your case, bitch.
388
00:16:07,508 --> 00:16:10,636
Someone like me
doesn't just walk up
to Santa's house and be all,
389
00:16:10,719 --> 00:16:12,179
"Dude, we need to talk."
390
00:16:12,262 --> 00:16:14,181
Well, go there, bitch.
Right now.
391
00:16:14,264 --> 00:16:17,017
You gotta get intimate
with that jolly bitch, bitch.
392
00:16:17,101 --> 00:16:18,227
Okay, I know you're right,
393
00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:19,853
but do you really
have to call me "bitch"
394
00:16:19,937 --> 00:16:21,480
every time you say something?
395
00:16:21,563 --> 00:16:25,067
Yes, bitch.
Because it's empowering
to call you bitch, bitch.
396
00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:26,902
A man wouldn't mind
being called a bitch.
397
00:16:26,985 --> 00:16:29,363
-Craig: She's right.
-Who asked you, bitch?
398
00:16:29,446 --> 00:16:31,532
Craig: She's wrong.
That-- That does
sting a bit.
399
00:16:31,615 --> 00:16:32,908
Look, you need to let Santa know
400
00:16:32,991 --> 00:16:35,369
you're not on his "Nice" list
or his "Naughty" list.
401
00:16:35,452 --> 00:16:37,830
You're on his
"Bitch" list, bitch.
402
00:16:37,913 --> 00:16:39,623
Okay, fuck it.
I'm doing this.
403
00:16:39,707 --> 00:16:42,251
I'm doing this.
I'm going over
there right now.
404
00:16:42,334 --> 00:16:43,377
This is so exciting!
405
00:16:43,460 --> 00:16:45,838
It's stressing me out
how exciting this is.
406
00:16:45,921 --> 00:16:47,631
-(crunches)
-Dammit, I ate my arm.
407
00:16:47,715 --> 00:16:48,882
Wish me luck, bitches.
408
00:16:48,966 --> 00:16:50,926
-Woo! You go, Candy!
-Yes, you got this, bitch!
409
00:16:51,009 --> 00:16:52,302
You're gonna do it!
410
00:16:52,386 --> 00:16:54,471
-(door opens, closes)
-What if Candy gets to be Santa,
411
00:16:54,555 --> 00:16:55,597
then falls in love
with the sleigh?
412
00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:58,058
Bitch, I was thinkin'
the same thing.
413
00:16:58,142 --> 00:17:03,897
-(magical music playing)
-(gates creaking open)
414
00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:15,451
-Ahh!
-Oh god! I'm so sorry.
415
00:17:15,534 --> 00:17:18,037
Clumsy, stupid asshole!
416
00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:21,874
Okay, Jesus, I cannot take
on this energy right now.
417
00:17:23,584 --> 00:17:26,295
♪ Someone is at the door
Someone is at the door ♪
418
00:17:26,378 --> 00:17:29,548
♪ Someone is at the door
Someone is at the door ♪
419
00:17:31,508 --> 00:17:34,428
♪ Someone is at the door
The door is ringing ♪
420
00:17:34,511 --> 00:17:37,639
♪ Answer the fucking door ♪
421
00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:40,768
Candy! How nice to see you!
422
00:17:40,851 --> 00:17:43,187
Hi, Mrs. Claus, uh,
I, I know it's late.
423
00:17:43,270 --> 00:17:44,772
Oh, I'm always up.
424
00:17:44,855 --> 00:17:46,398
(laughs)
I have insomnia.
425
00:17:46,482 --> 00:17:50,194
I stay up all night making
lists of what I need to do.
426
00:17:50,277 --> 00:17:52,654
It rules my life,
but who cares?
427
00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:55,157
You don't care!
I barely care!
428
00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:56,617
Come on in.
429
00:17:56,700 --> 00:17:59,286
-(gobbling)
-(Mrs. Claus gasps)
430
00:17:59,369 --> 00:18:00,788
Nick, stop it!
431
00:18:00,871 --> 00:18:03,999
The doctor says
you're one cupcake
away from diabetes.
432
00:18:04,082 --> 00:18:05,459
Fine!
Then get me some donuts!
433
00:18:05,542 --> 00:18:07,461
We're all out.
I don't care,
I'm not picky.
434
00:18:07,544 --> 00:18:09,963
And can we not fight
in front of my colleague?
435
00:18:10,047 --> 00:18:12,132
Candy, come in. Sit down.
436
00:18:12,216 --> 00:18:15,761
Invitation accepted... sir.
437
00:18:21,683 --> 00:18:24,353
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'll leave you two
to talk business.
438
00:18:24,436 --> 00:18:28,690
I have emails to read,
and packages to wrap,
and so on and so forth,
439
00:18:28,774 --> 00:18:30,984
and, and goodbye.
440
00:18:31,068 --> 00:18:32,319
What brings
you here, Candy?
441
00:18:32,402 --> 00:18:34,112
First, may I say,
your home is lovely.
442
00:18:34,196 --> 00:18:36,532
It's, it's majestic,
yet it's not ostentatious,
443
00:18:36,615 --> 00:18:38,826
which, I think, is a subtle
balance to achieve, sir, and I--
444
00:18:38,909 --> 00:18:42,037
Jesus fuckin' Christ, Candy,
enough with the "sir."
445
00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:44,081
Loosen up. This isn't
the principal's office.
446
00:18:44,164 --> 00:18:45,415
I've known you
since you were a kid.
447
00:18:45,499 --> 00:18:47,501
Yeah, but it's not like
we ever really talked.
448
00:18:47,584 --> 00:18:49,878
What're you talkin' about?
We shoot the shit all the time.
449
00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:53,340
No. No, we've never shot
even one tiny shit, sir.
450
00:18:53,423 --> 00:18:56,134
I mean-- I met your husband.
He's a huge sports nut, right?
451
00:18:56,218 --> 00:18:57,761
Why am I even askin'?
I remember the guy.
452
00:18:57,845 --> 00:19:01,223
Blue skin, horse body,
pink wings. He was hilarious.
453
00:19:01,306 --> 00:19:02,516
Not married, actually.
454
00:19:02,599 --> 00:19:03,934
Don't even have
a crush on anyone,
455
00:19:04,017 --> 00:19:06,019
but, uh, don't be embarrassed.
It's fine. I--
456
00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:08,897
You're a very busy man.
You probably don't even
know my last name.
457
00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:10,774
Ah, come on.
Who gives a fuck?
458
00:19:10,858 --> 00:19:12,401
It's not like you
know my real name.
459
00:19:12,484 --> 00:19:13,819
It's Llewelyn Fartini.
460
00:19:13,902 --> 00:19:16,071
Dammit, you do!
Now that you mention it,
461
00:19:16,154 --> 00:19:19,199
Brent kinda was like
the buffer between us.
462
00:19:19,283 --> 00:19:20,993
But, you know,
now that I look back,
463
00:19:21,076 --> 00:19:24,538
Brent always acted like
he was meant for bigger
things than Santa Inc.
464
00:19:24,621 --> 00:19:26,540
One Halloween
he came as Super Jesus.
465
00:19:26,623 --> 00:19:28,125
Like regular Jesus
wasn't enough.
466
00:19:28,208 --> 00:19:30,544
No, Brent needed
a cape and a pair of tights
467
00:19:30,627 --> 00:19:33,297
to show off his biceps
and his huge fuckin' dick.
468
00:19:33,380 --> 00:19:35,883
No one with a dick
that big is happy
in middle management.
469
00:19:35,966 --> 00:19:39,303
-That segues into what
I'm here for, actually.
-It does?
470
00:19:39,386 --> 00:19:41,638
Do you mind if I,
uh, kinda give you
the big picture?
471
00:19:41,722 --> 00:19:42,723
Please, tell me.
472
00:19:42,806 --> 00:19:45,309
When I was a kid,
I had big dreams.
473
00:19:45,392 --> 00:19:47,644
You know, I, I didn't
know that, as a girl,
474
00:19:47,728 --> 00:19:49,688
they didn't always come true.
475
00:19:49,771 --> 00:19:51,440
I figured if
I worked hard enough,
476
00:19:51,523 --> 00:19:53,567
no one could deny
me anything, so I did.
477
00:19:53,650 --> 00:19:56,778
I, I worked my ass off,
and I proved myself.
478
00:19:56,862 --> 00:20:00,324
All right, not really a segue,
more of a pivot, but I hear ya.
479
00:20:00,407 --> 00:20:03,076
I want my dreams to come true.
480
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:05,579
I wanna be the next Successor,
481
00:20:05,662 --> 00:20:10,292
and the first female
Santa Claus in history!
482
00:20:10,375 --> 00:20:14,963
♪ The first elf bitch Santa ♪
483
00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:17,341
-Me! Candy--
-Smalls!
484
00:20:17,424 --> 00:20:18,634
Yes! Progress!
485
00:20:18,717 --> 00:20:25,974
♪ Candy wants it
real, real baaaaad ♪
486
00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:29,770
I'm the most progressive
Santa in history.
487
00:20:29,853 --> 00:20:31,104
I'm a real change agent.
488
00:20:31,188 --> 00:20:33,607
I'm an ally,
which I can't
label myself as,
489
00:20:33,690 --> 00:20:35,400
but I've been labeled
that by others.
490
00:20:35,484 --> 00:20:37,277
And Brent,
the first Black Successor,
491
00:20:37,361 --> 00:20:39,154
was a huge part of my legacy.
492
00:20:39,237 --> 00:20:42,407
But maybe...
it's time to make history
493
00:20:42,491 --> 00:20:43,992
...again.
494
00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:45,911
I need to think about it,
but,
495
00:20:45,994 --> 00:20:47,371
this could be really
fucking awesome.
496
00:20:47,454 --> 00:20:49,039
Okay, very cool.
497
00:20:49,122 --> 00:20:50,832
(cheers and laughter)
498
00:20:50,916 --> 00:20:54,544
Oh, man.
Let's see what those
bozos are up to now. Ha!
499
00:20:57,381 --> 00:20:59,466
(indistinct chatter)
500
00:20:59,549 --> 00:21:00,509
What is this?
501
00:21:00,592 --> 00:21:02,135
It's my annual
Boxing Day party.
502
00:21:02,219 --> 00:21:03,929
Oh, I, I never
knew about it.
503
00:21:04,012 --> 00:21:06,223
We bros shave
our beards every year.
504
00:21:06,306 --> 00:21:07,933
It's a major tradition.
505
00:21:08,016 --> 00:21:09,851
I'm gonna win
again this year.
506
00:21:09,935 --> 00:21:12,145
The hair that weighs
the most gets a prize.
507
00:21:12,229 --> 00:21:14,064
Let's get shaving! Yeaaah!
508
00:21:15,148 --> 00:21:16,233
(buzzing)
509
00:21:17,943 --> 00:21:19,569
Jingle Jim,
why are you here?
510
00:21:19,653 --> 00:21:21,154
You don't even
have facial hair.
511
00:21:21,238 --> 00:21:22,572
I have to shave
every week.
512
00:21:22,656 --> 00:21:25,242
I'm talking about
my genitals, dumb-dumb.
513
00:21:25,325 --> 00:21:28,286
It's a gay thing.
Yes, I am gay.
514
00:21:28,370 --> 00:21:30,372
And it's a valid
and wonderful lifestyle.
515
00:21:30,455 --> 00:21:32,332
If I wasn't straight,
I'd be gay.
516
00:21:32,416 --> 00:21:33,625
It's number two
on my list.
517
00:21:33,709 --> 00:21:35,794
I shave, too.
I shave my legs.
518
00:21:35,877 --> 00:21:38,255
And under my arms,
and, uh, you know,
519
00:21:38,338 --> 00:21:40,674
all the parts of my vulva
that face the floor.
520
00:21:40,757 --> 00:21:44,594
Why have I never
been invited to this,
and Jingle Jim has?
521
00:21:44,678 --> 00:21:46,722
And Jeremy?
Jeremy's all ice!
522
00:21:46,805 --> 00:21:48,432
They make mine
into a snowcone.
523
00:21:48,515 --> 00:21:50,851
Candy, you're more
than welcome to stay,
524
00:21:50,934 --> 00:21:52,185
and, and join in.
525
00:21:52,269 --> 00:21:53,437
But, sir,
when you hired me,
526
00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:55,313
you knew I wasn't
trained for vaginas.
527
00:21:55,397 --> 00:21:58,358
I don't wanna be
sued if I slip up
and make her infertile.
528
00:21:58,442 --> 00:22:00,694
(softly):
The baby needs
the hair to stay warm.
529
00:22:00,777 --> 00:22:04,072
Ugh! Thanks for the info
on how my body works.
530
00:22:04,948 --> 00:22:06,158
I can't stay anyway.
531
00:22:06,241 --> 00:22:09,161
I've got a ton of parties
and raves and shit to go to.
532
00:22:09,244 --> 00:22:11,955
I mean, if I knew earlier
I could've switched stuff
around but--
533
00:22:12,039 --> 00:22:14,082
Oh, thank god. I mean,
I'll, I'll walk you out.
534
00:22:14,166 --> 00:22:16,877
And I'm gonna think hard
about what we spoke about.
535
00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:18,003
(chuckles)
536
00:22:23,175 --> 00:22:24,384
Fuck those douches.
537
00:22:24,468 --> 00:22:27,721
Someday, I will be
the first woman Santa.
538
00:22:27,804 --> 00:22:29,014
Period!
539
00:22:29,097 --> 00:22:30,557
♪ ♪
540
00:22:32,476 --> 00:22:35,520
♪ No two are alike ♪
541
00:22:39,191 --> 00:22:43,528
♪ They are their own
special beings ♪
542
00:22:46,782 --> 00:22:50,243
♪ The one thing that
they have in common ♪
543
00:22:50,327 --> 00:22:54,873
♪ Is I love them all the same ♪
544
00:22:54,956 --> 00:22:58,835
♪ Snowflake, snowflake ♪
545
00:22:58,919 --> 00:23:02,589
♪ Snowflake, snowflake ♪
546
00:23:02,672 --> 00:23:06,760
♪ If you commit a crime
I'll give you a dime ♪
547
00:23:06,843 --> 00:23:09,513
♪ To call me anytime ♪
548
00:23:09,596 --> 00:23:10,931
♪ Night or day ♪
549
00:23:11,014 --> 00:23:12,224
♪ Snowflake ♪
550
00:23:12,307 --> 00:23:14,810
♪ I love you all the same ♪
551
00:23:14,893 --> 00:23:16,353
♪ Snowflake ♪
552
00:23:16,436 --> 00:23:18,897
And you, and you...
553
00:23:18,980 --> 00:23:20,357
♪ Snowflake ♪
554
00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:23,652
Just kidding, I love
all of you the same.
41566
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof