Original subtitles

The wind in the woods say the softly tune Follow my voice wherever it leads

From mountains through valleys to deep rolling seas

Ooohhh And the winds of the green keepin' the skies

August Deed Scroll

August the 27th.

Whoo!

What a week this has been!

Yet again the courageous spirit of we toads...

Umm...

Us toads...

Umm...

Of the toads has pulled me through,

but it was a jolly, close-run thing,

as Lord Nelson said at the Battle of Agencourt.

And to think that it all started so simply.

I was taking healthy exercise in the grounds of L4,

turning up my stool-like muscles.

When I came across and surprised, a couple of weasels.

Mmm...

Hello!

Oh!

Oh!

Ha ha ha ha!

Did you want something?

I wouldn't have already done a piece of cream cake!

Yo, shut up! We're not here for cream cake, we're here.

With a message.

A message?

From the chief.

Oh!

He's... he's not... he's not out.

Is he?

Not for years, Mr Toad.

And that's it.

Yes, I suppose it is.

How do you mean?

Well, Mr Toad, ever since you and your friends had him locked away in that near prison,

us weasels have been... leaderless.

Have I got a leader?

No... chief.

No, chief!

Ah!

Not that he resents it, Mr Toad, it was.

He often says, a fair cop.

Oh, really?

He respects you, Mr Toad.

And so do we.

Ah!

Mmm!

And that's why we come.

We wants you to be our leader.

Yeah!

Want you to be our chief?

Matter of fact, it was the chief's idea.

What you lot need, he says, is a chief.

Yeah!

Yeah, I says, you're right, chief.

We don't need a chief, chief.

Chief, chief.

Yeah!

Erm, yes.

And I'll tell you who would be the best chief you could get, he says.

Best chief, Mr Toad, he says.

That... born leader.

My Jew!

He's right, of course.

I am a born leader.

Ask him to be so gracious.

Has to come and visit me, he says.

He says, er, he says.

Ask him to come, and I'll tell him what's what, who's who, and hand over the job.

Erm, well...

He will lead you into a new life, he says.

A life free from crime.

A life of honour and honesty.

Mmm!

Mmm!

So will you be our chief?

Chief!

Chief!

I sure...

I sure think about it very seriously.

You may tell the chief that I shall visit him in his prison cell, and, erm, discuss the matter with him.

Oh, Mr Toad, you have brought us joy and saka.

Saka?

Yeah!

Well, thank you.

Erm, you may go now.

Er, thank you.

Thank you!

Yeah!

Thank you!

Heh heh heh! Absolutely idiotic, O todie.

I really don't think you ought to visit them.

Of course he shouldn't visit them.

Huh!

Your behaviour is quite bad enough without consulting with the criminal classes.

Oh, well leave me alone.

Oh, todie?

No todie nothing.

I am todie gave a more visiting aid for Richard.

You are, as we all know, perfectly capable of ending up in one.

Oh, poop! Poople and double poo show there.

No!

Oh!

Oh!

He bettered that I leave the cellar locked, sir.

Oh, er, how's that?

Well, sir, I wouldn't care to be locked in with that, eh?

Ah!

Just remember, sir.

I know, gentlemen.

Oh, a real gentleman.

Heh, oh, I don't know, Chief.

Oh, well I do.

There isn't many of me here, with a banker.

As it comes a visit to innocent victims of injustice like, like in the meeting.

No!

No, I suppose not.

Oh, sir, and his only you.

As it be so overwhelmingly kind, just to do our stir time for us.

Oh, it's nothing.

Absolutely.

What's, erm, stir time?

Oh, it's time in the Peter.

It's time in the Nick.

In jail.

Oh, I see.

Oh, how can we?

Stir time.

Oh, oh, oh, oh!

Yeah!

Just a minute.

How do you mean, do your stir time for you?

What I mean, Mr. Toad is this.

We was here, right?

Er, yes.

You was outside, right?

Yes.

But now you're inside, right?

Yes.

So you're going to be here.

Yes.

And we're going out.

Oh, I see.

You mean that I'm the...

...

...

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...

...

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh...

Oh, you said you could drive this thing.

I thought I could, Chief.

I thought I could.

Oh, oh, oh, oh...

...

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...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

Oh, come on, Toad.

All right, all right, I'm coming.

Here I say.

That's not Toad.

Oh, whoever has he got in there.

Oh, oh, oh...

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And I know that you are their friend.

You! No, I...

And if I have not them, I do have you.

And you stay until they return.

But they'll never come back.

Then save farewell to all you have ever known.

Prisoner Toad.

Prisoner Toad?

Prisoner Toad?

printed and

eyed

AOOOOOOOOHH!

A GOOOOW 1993

Is beginning.

Sound compromised

A B.

Is ending.

D.G.

Oh, P.D inconvenience.

D.G.

CONLegacy

He terrible.

D.G.

You talk guilty to this one of the url

and under the

control.

I'm doing fucking

So, is Toad ill in bed with an infectious disease or is he not?

Hmm, we could force our way into Toad Hall, but there may be better ways, I think, to begin with.

It's time we did some prison visit him.

So, you realize, do you see that if that come back from prison in your car, you were probably here?

Yes, well, thank goodness you did.

I might have been there forever.

No, no, no, no.

We would have...

I find you I was just in the process of working at the most brilliant plan of escape.

Oh, really, Toad?

Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm quite brilliant.

Come on, Toad, come along.

Hey, when you're rested, we all have worked.

An empty cell.

An empty cell.

A mournful sight indeed.

And all I can do is to wait for the cheering sound of a black mariah, a ring near.

Army.

I'm not quite sure what you have in mind, Badger.

Well, the mister Toad, who is at present in residence at Toad Hall...

The village is clearly the chief wizzle.

And the nurse is that snivelling henchman of his.

Well, yes, I know that, but what I mean is, how are we going to get them out?

I'm going in there and giving them what for that...

Oh!

Oh, Toad!

Toad!

Ha ha ha ha!

That's...

That's...

That's...

...and then the boy...

That...

...to...

...have at you, now, he...

...would...

...ad...

...that's...

...the...

...the...

...the...

Yes, Badger?

Sit down before you break something.

Yes, Badger.

But I wouldn't have...

If you want to throw those villains out by yourself, you may do so.

By yourself.

By myself.

By myself.

Yes.

What were you thinking of, Badger?

I was thinking of a cure.

A cure, Badger? A cure for whom, Badger?

Why?

For the poor sick gentleman who's lying in Toad's bed.

Oh, cure him.

I'll kill him.

But we shall need a doctor.

A doctor?

We don't know any doctors.

Doctor McSparron.

Talk said McSparron.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Send McSparron.

Who's talked McSparron?

You are.

Who I see.

What, Badger? What in the world?

Toad may have few talents.

You may.

But he does have sun flare for theatricals.

Oh, I say.

Go on, Badger.

I have some preparations to make.

Tomorrow morning.

First thing.

We shall go sick visiting.

With that well known Scottish consultant.

Doctor McSparron.

Hey.

How did you crack or lock?

Did you?

Erm...

The doctor, an expert in infectious diseases,

would like to see Mr. Toad.

Well, he can't.

Is he? My good woman.

I'm Wheel-O-E-R-O-V-E-R-O-V-T.

Mums, no.

Wheel? That's why I'm a eel.

The doctor insists, Nurse, that you take him for your patience.

I'd like to warn if they're telling him, dear, first, I'll have to get him ready.

You can wait here and I'll tell you when to come in.

Thank you.

Very kind.

Thank you.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Don't ever do it, Toad.

Over my face, dear.

I just remember who you are and don't panic.

Yes, Chief.

Right, Chief.

Right.

Right.

Mr. Toad, we'll see you now.

Thank you, Toad.

Oh, my dear.

How are you feeling now?

I'm sorry, Toad.

I didn't quite...

He's lost his voice.

The infectious is getting worse, you see.

I think you'd better...

Dear me, dear me.

Did you hear that, Doctor?

Oh, hi.

It's a muckle cracket.

The wee dork and Doris is scundered in the glen.

Is it as bad as that, Doctor?

It's a spartan.

Oh, hi.

Hi.

Is there any pin?

Mm.

Mm.

Mm.

Mm.

Mm.

Mm.

Mm.

Mm.

Mm.

Mm.

Do you think it looks bad?

Doctor muck spartan.

Mm.

Right. Well, it's here.

Wee bit.

Clever in the cutty sock.

You can...

Indeed I do, Doctor.

Dear me.

Mm.

Yeah, but...

The dork muck spartan.

Mm.

Do you mean that there's still some hope?

Uh...

Uh...

Oh, bye.

Oh, good.

Good.

Hear that, Toad?

Yeah, yes.

Mm.

Shh.

What can you do for the poor child?

Oh, Doctor.

Mm.

Oh, wee.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Mm.

Mm.

Oh, hey.

Yeah.

What's that?

Uh-huh.

Um, alright, Chief.

Yes, Mr. Toad.

Mr. Toad can't have that.

He won't have that.

It's for your own good, Toady.

And you're usually so good about taking medicine.

Is he?

Well, it's either the medicine or the hospital, isn't it, Doctor?

Mm.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Hey.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Uh, Mr. Toad says he loves the medicine, and then he's going to...

sleep as he's feeling rather tired.

Uh-huh.

Poor Toad.

Poor Toad.

I.

Brag it, quack it, doon.

The Mologatoni.

Ha-ha-ha.

I...

I will.

Um...

You are then, Mr. Toad.

Thank you.

And now, gentlemen, if you'd be sure...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Cheese!

You injured, I'm poisoned!

Cheese!

Then you can't be, Mr. Toad.

It's got his voice back.

You poisoned him.

It's got yours back, too.

Ah.

Get out!

Get out!

Got to get back.

Brag it!

Die!

Die!

And serve you, Johnny Rose, right!

You... boner!

AHHH!

Let it join your patience, man.

I see you.

I see you.

You...

Brag it!

Ohhh!

AHHH!

AHHH!

AHHH!

AHHH!

AHHH!

That's the quickest acting medicine I've ever seen, Badger.

Whatever did you put in it?

AHH!

Oh, a little white.

AHH!

And a red pepper.

A green pepper.

A black pepper.

No!

No!

Christ!

Hey!

And some special curry powder given to me by my old friend, the Maharaj and the Brancipa.

He was always too hot for me.

Well, it certainly made things too hot for those two rascally weasels.

AHH!

Oh, God!

Oh, yeah!

Oh, the moment, Ratty.

Oh, the moment.

Everything, everything, anything!

And they'll be back.

Never fear.

Heh heh heh!

Heh heh!

Oh, man!

Heh!

Oh, man!

Heh!

Oh, man!

Oh, man!

Oh, man!

Oh, man!

Oh, man!

Oh, man!

Oh, man!

Oh, man!

Oh, man!

But none of them know half as much as intelligent Mr. Joe!

Heh!

Oh!

Oh!

The animal set in the armpit is in orange blue!

Who once he said, there's land ahead!

Mr. Joe!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

The world has held great heroes, as his people said to you.

But never a name went down to fame compared with that of tow.

Intelligent misty tow, encouraging misty tow.

The wind in the willows, say the softly tune.

Follow my voice wherever it leads, from mountains through valleys to deep rolling seas.

Broken buildings of the Greedy Seeds.

September the 5th.

Another week of personal triumph.

Hmm.

I wonder if Tramp has two F's.

Which all grew from a little comment I passed as my friends and I were enjoying a typically

splendid afternoon tea I had provided in the grounds of the hall.

Oh!

I've had.

Really?

Did you speak, Toad?

Yes.

Yes, I surely will did.

As I was saying, that this paper is a disgrace.

The time's told? A disgrace?

Hmm.

I have just read the record from front to back and back to front and there is no mention of it whatsoever.

No mention of what, Toad?

My speech.

Your speech?

What speech?

My address to the community when I graciously open the river bank of annual flour show.

A 50-7 annual flour show?

Look.

I do wish you'd stop interrupting.

Who cares about the Rotnoe show?

Wait, wait.

It's my speech that's the important bit.

Oh.

And there isn't a word of it.

Not a single word.

I am not told overwhelmed with surprise.

Well, aren't you?

Well, I mean the times has never reported anything any of us have said or done, Toady.

Well, of course they haven't reported anything you've said.

You've never said anything important.

Oh, that's nice.

No, no, no, no.

I don't... I don't mean so.

But I mean, well...

What do you have?

And if you had more, Toad wouldn't have heard it because he'd have been too busy talking.

Yes, exactly.

You see, Mo?

Imagine those...

Oh, I see.

Well, you can mock all you like.

It doesn't matter anyway because from now on things are going to be different.

Oh, how different, Toad?

From now on, my activities.

That's to say the activities of those who live around here are going to be reported in the times every week.

But how?

I mean, why should we have our names in the paper?

Because, Mo, my friend, it will be my paper.

What?

You mean you're going to buy the times from Lord North, Cliff?

No, no, of course I'm not going to buy the old times.

Who wants to buy a paper that doesn't mention me?

Oh, no.

I'm going to start my own paper.

What?

Yes!

The riverbank.

And Wildwood time.

I don't believe it.

Yes, but Toad, newspapers have to have an editor.

Yes, I am the editor.

Not to mention reporters.

I am the reporter.

And printers.

It is all under control.

There is even going to be an international distribution system in terms of all.

Well, well, distribution system.

What sort of system?

Distributors?

Who?

How many?

Distributor?

Who?

Billy Rabbit?

Ah!

Oh, okay, who?

Don't... oh, Toad me.

My paper will be famous.

Anyone my paper mentions will be famous.

I shall be famous.

Just you wait and see.

Very next morning I was off to London to purchase a little Marvel.

Ooh, one of the very best printing presses that money can buy.

With my mechanical skills, it took little time to install the press.

A double toggle?

What's a drafty double toggle?

And connect its electromotor to the generator in the basement.

Ah!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh, no, not again.

It's called a blow again.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Bob and Blue!

Oh!

Stupid!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

And so it was with everything running smoothly.

I was ready to begin my life as a publisher and journalist.

Oh, come on, Alfred.

Something must have happened.

Nope.

What about haystack fires?

Hmm?

Haven't there been any haystack fires?

Nope.

It's an absolute waste of time.

I said it would be.

You'll never be famous at this rate.

Oh, I...

Didn't you want to be famous?

Nope.

Oh!

Oh, well.

It's here, there!

I shall terminate the interview.

Good.

Good.

And good bye.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

It's a rat!

Ah!

Straight from the horse's mouth.

Oh!

He's probably good there.

From our agricultural correspondent.

What are the most powerful figures on the agricultural scene today denied?

When questioned by our reporter that he had played any part in the burning of local haystacks.

Mm.

Further pressed, he was reluctant to discuss any suggestion that royalty might be in bow.

Oh!

Yes!

Excellent!

Oh!

That'll get him queuing up to bite.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Hmm!

Oh!

And the magical beauty of the Taj Mahal.

It would be in...

...67 or...

...68.

I first saw it.

I remember...

That's odd.

How do you...

...how...

...dang it poor?

Rangipur!

That was ten minutes ago.

When there were still three buttered scones on the plate.

Yes, over.

Yes.

Well, I didn't quite...

...you mean to say, you haven't noticed anything I've said since then?

Well, I mean, if you will throw in all these foreign names...

I thought you wanted to write about my days in India.

Well, yes, but...

...and India's a foreign place?

I knew that, Badger.

But...

...I told you're wasting my time.

Oh, but...

...nearly as much as you're wasting your own...

...river bank times indeed.

Oh.

Towed all times, don't you think?

I thought you said it was going to be...

Well, well, well, yes, yes, it was.

I thought toad all times was more...

...well, no.

Refined more...

...indolecule.

Tough.

Bob.

Shove and nonsense told.

I should never have encouraged your foolish vanity.

Well...

...really.

We don't need a newspaper to tell us what we know already.

And we don't need toad to get it all wrong anyway.

Well, if that's how you feel, I shod over you any longer.

Good.

And when no one's ever heard of you...

...don't blame me.

Good-bye.

I shall return to my offices.

Offices?

You won't want that last scone, will you?

No!

By Jove, by Jove.

There's no denying.

I've got a flab of this stuff.

Poo-hoo!

Wait till that stuff's on the streets!

Read all about it!

Read all about it!

They must report to at next!

They need the mystery revealed!

Yet your turn all times!

Read all about it!

Read all about it!

Come on, read all about it!

And I've lived here ever since.

Ever since.

Oh, Toad! I don't think you should...

Look merely just leave the reporting to me here.

Well, of course, but...

And think of the most exciting thing that ever happened.

Erm...

Oh, who do you think is exciting?

Erm...

Oh!

Ah!

Yes, I did once win second prize for my Goodbury Jam at the annual Flash Show.

Josh, no!

I bet the world can't wait to hear about that.

No.

Sorry.

Oh, well, I suppose I just have to take this little lot away and...

Look, the magic of the wordsmith around it.

I mean...

I said...

I should have never...

It...

It stops at the table!

I did try to stop you, Toad.

It's covered in syrup.

Syrup! Syrup!

Erm...

Oh, I say now, look, my notebook, my story!

Sorry, Toad.

Now what am I going to do?

Two long times, read all about it!

Famous writers, work destroyed! Read all about it! Get your food all done!

No, no, no, Ratty, that's absolutely hopeless.

No, what do you want, Toad?

For goodness sake, I want action-adventure-

Robot!

This is supposed to be a front page, big-up, or a dramatic rescue from a raging torrent.

Not my fault if there isn't a ripple, Toad.

Well, use your imagination.

I didn't think newspapers were about imagination.

I thought they were about the truth.

No, nothing of the short, Ratty.

No one's going to buy my paper. If all it's got is the Tarrou.

I see.

Now, try rocking the boat a bit and I'll move a bit closer.

Oh, what?

Right.

Better, I'll try a bit nearer.

Oh, no, Toad, I don't think eat rocking, keep rocking.

But Toad, try looking armed.

Toad!

Oh, that's good. Wonderful.

Toad, you...

Hold it!

Hold it!

Oh, God!

Help!

Help!

Help!

Read all about it!

Turn all times, read all about it!

Famous photographer in the river-rich pubies!

Read all about it! Read all about it!

Well, thanks, Moose to all for here, Chief.

I'll see if I can make something out of it.

Oh, very nice of you, Mr Toad. Very nice.

And now I'm asking you to pursue all the day's events.

Of course.

Goodbye. Goodbye, Mr Toad.

Goodbye!

Well, I think it'll make a very good story.

Very good.

What story is that, Chief?

Well, newspaper owner loses family heirloom in daring robbery.

And Chief is an all-barre clump.

Oh!

Oh!

There are all times, read all about it!

No, Toad, instant in writing, instant in!

Read all about it!

Get your turn all times, read all about it!

At last!

At last!

Ready for page one of the Toad all time!

Ready for the launch of the World's Carreist newspaper!

I'll give him waste of time!

Now, ink rollers, ink,

laughin' in place!

Electro-moutre, ready to go!

Whoo-hoo!

Then let the proceeds roll!

Whoo-hoo!

Whoo-hoo!

Whoo-hoo!

Whoo-hoo!

Whoo-hoo!

Whoo-hoo!

Whoo-hoo!

Whoo-hoo!

Whoo-hoo!

Whoo-hoo!

The first!

The very first!

Whoo-hoo!

Yes, Simedla Dout!

Noytide Syrif.

Hey, Simedla Dout.

What the... Simedla Simed?

Oh, no!

We'd come, Erm, it'd come, Erm, oh, Drat, and double Drat it has!

It's all back to front!

Ah! Stupid thing!

Oh! Stupid, stupid!

Stupid thing!

Whoo-hoo!

Ha!

Don't go there!

Oh!

This is it!

Sweet!

Sweet!

I can't wait to construct your book!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Morning, Toe!

I'm thinking about tomorrow's edition, I am?

Erm, no, I am not.

Ah!

Still thinking about the first edition, eh?

Thank you, Badger, I do not wish to discuss it.

Oh, dear me.

I'm tired of being a press baton already.

Yes, yes, yes, Badger.

Thank you, thank you very much.

How can we go, Erm?

Oh, dear.

Ah! More company!

On the river.

Morning, Badger! Morning, Badger!

Morning!

Hello Toe. Hello Toe, dear.

We've got news for you, Toe.

Oh, Shavot!

Don't you mean off Shavot?

Hehehehehe.

No, we really have got news.

Yes, looks as if you've achieved your ambition.

What?

What do you mean?

You're in the Times, Toe, dear.

You mean there's an article about Toe, in the Times?

Hm?

That's right, Badger.

I-I-I say, isn't it?

Isn't the peerage, you see?

Isn't the house of lords?

Er, not exactly.

No, what did she say?

Er, er, er, just a minute.

Ah, here we are.

Countries square in publishing fiasco.

I say then.

An attempt by an unheard of publisher...

Er, er, no.

...to produce a rival journal to our own...

...has ended in disaster.

What?

Ignorant of printing techniques.

Ignorant?

The entire first edition was printed backwards.

We send our condolences and say colloquially.

This bit's jolly good, Toad.

Listen.

And say colloquially...

Time next, luck better.

Time next, luck better.

It's a joke, you see, Toad.

Oh!

It's better luck next time.

Backwards!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Alright!

Oh!

Oh!

Dragon and double drag!

Oh!

The clever man that opts would do all this to be new.

But not a limb no half as much as intelligent Mr. Toad.

The animal said in the arms it is in torrential node.

Who was it said there's left ahead?

Mr. Toad!

The world has held eight heroes as his people's hensian.

But never a name went down to fame compared with that of Toad.

Intelligent Mr. Toad.

Hey, can you kiss Mr. Toad?

Follow my voice wherever it leads from mountains through valleys to deep rolling seas.

Oh high above the snowyhen hills ofiston,

September the 12th. Oh, what a week. What excitement. What triumph. What tragedy. I think I'll cross tragedy out.

Was my fully worth having been to London to see the scientific wonders at the Victoria and Albert Museum. I was informing my friends of the Marvels that I see.

And all worked by the force of gravity invented by Isaac Walton.

Newton. Gravity. Badger means that it was Isaac Newton who studied the force of gravity. Isaac Walton wrote about fishing.

Oh, really? And he didn't invent it. He discovered it. Oh, nothing of this short. Oh, look, he looked. Look. He dropped an apple off the Eddy Stone lighthouse and it hit James Watt on the egg.

Watt shouted at Scallop up and jumped out of the bath and went and made the first line about while Newton was in gravity.

Look, it's no laughing matter. You're right, Toad. It's a tragedy. Well, a tragic comedy. It was Galileo who dropped a weight and a feather from the leaning tower.

Archimedes shouted at you, weaker. Watt made steam trains and Thomas Edison invented the light bulb. Watch. James Watt. Apart from that, you were absolutely right.

Well, he didn't get a lot of facts, Tim. All of them wrong. And anyway, who went to the museum? You on me.

Yeah. Yeah. Who's a stupid one? That, Robert Burt. He's messed up, looming, Toad.

He should be easy enough to con. He is, Burt. He is. But I have to say, Toad, that I'm very pleased you did.

No. Oh, oh, yes. Somewhere buried inside your folly is the desire to learn. Yeah. All the same I wish I'd seen it.

Oh, yes, Mouli. It was absolutely wonderful. Together you know, man and machine will conquer the mysteries of the universe.

As it says in the catalogue. Yeah, precisely. As it says in the catalogue. No. I just thought of it.

Oh, nothing. No, Mouli. The future lies with technology. My goodness. Yes. And we're the engineer. Oh, yeah.

Just imagine having those things named after you, eh? Hey? Like Mr. Bunsen's burner? Hmm? The Edison lamp?

Stephen's in the rocket? Mr. Toad? The better. Do. What's that? Nothing. Nothing bad. I was just thinking.

Oh. So, he has a hand-effectual form of scenery, does he? Yeah, so it seems, and fame. Yeah. He's very keen on being famous. Yeah.

Well, I think we can put a little scheme together out of that. So you reckon we can bronze the famous Mr. Toad to do you, Burt?

Just you watch me, brother. Just you watch me.

But I don't quite see why you brought Professor. Fine, Lagan. Yes. Brought him here. Oh, because he was looking for Toad. Oh, Mr. Toad, because he was looking for you.

He's looking for me. All the way from Switzerland. Oh. Hmm. Right. Tell him why, Professor. Because I'm looking for someone with vision. Someone with imagination.

Hello. That's me, all right. Someone for whom the burden of fame would not be too great to bear. Did I hear you mention, eh, aim? Yes.

Yes. Er, yah. Fame. Oh. Oh, er, er, er, do, do, do, do, go on. I have, you see, their invention, in wen-t it. Oh, and in wen-t it. You've been, er, an invention. In wen-t it. Sorry, in wen-t it I see.

And it is the most important invention. I'm fantast-ish-o-machine. You want together. Man, want-machine. Will conquer the mysteries of the universe. I do. That's just what the catalogue. Mm. That's a letter, that's just what I said.

To have a kind, Mr. Toad, you and the Professor. Really? Well, men of vision. Mm. Yeah, and imagination. Wen-t. Fame. Wen-t. Fame. Wen-t. And fame, yes, ah. Whoo. How?

You must not, till anyone, a word be sank. Who me? Oh, of course not. Stum. All together, Stum. Right? Stum. Mm. Mm. Oh, er, sorry.

What he means, Mr. Toad, is, er, what he's going to tell you is so secret. You mustn't tell nobody about it. Ah, yes.

Especially not badger. Or at or more. No, you're absolutely right. I'd never understand.

No, but go on. Tell me, tell me what you invented. The invention I have invented is iron. Perpetual motion machine. Perpetual motion machine.

Perpetual motion machine? Yes. Er, yah. Oh. Can I see it? Can I, can I, can I, can I? Ah, well, now Mr. Toad, er, that's the trouble. Mm?

Come on. Well, I know what. It is drawing slowly. Oh, I see. Oh, that is why I'm looking for you of us. Um, um. Because here I can be building it.

Oh, yes. The famous birthplace of the famous Toads will be more famous yet. I see. It will be the birthplace of the world's first perpetual motion machine. How does a petua...

Oh, just perpetual. You mean I would naturally name it after mine, Benifactor. Oh. The Toad who provided the laboratory want their money to build it. Yes.

Yes. Um, and we won't tell Badger or Rat or Moon. Haha! Two days per petua, when did we start? Yes, we shall have to keep an eye on Toad.

Mm. I didn't like the look in his eye. Dear, not another craze. Could well be, Mole. Only needs something new and a whiff of fame and he loses whatever bit a sense he has.

For Toad. For her. He certainly will be where he throws his money around. More money, Professor? I know. I know.

Oh, I'm having a little trouble with their germination valve. Ah! Mm. And also their garbage spigot. Oh, yeah. Look, but I'm giving you hundreds already, Professor. I know. I know.

Oh, listen, prof. Maybe we ought to chuck you. What? What? What? Well, I mean, I know you're almost there and I know it will make Mr. Toad a new famous, but he can't go on dishing out the tin.

No, no, no, that's all right. I mean, I couldn't stand if I wasn't famous. Um, if I thought I'd failed science, man, a machine, eh? Haha!

Boo, I'll go and get the money. Haha. Good old Toad. I like taking sweets from babies. Haha. Haha.

And he just said, ha ha. Ha ha. Well, to be precise, Ratty. Ha ha. Oh. What is he up to? Wish I knew. I tried to get more out of him, but honestly, that's all he'd say.

And he's not been outside the hall for days now. Well, I tell you what, when we finish tea, we'll stroll up to Badgers and keep him in touch. Oh, yes, Ratty. Good idea.

Oh, I say, I say, oh, I say. Get excited, Mr. Toad. But, oh, yes. Come on, Professor. Come on. Did he go in?

Yeah, yeah, I told. But first, to explain to Vey, what it works. Veying the way what it works, just give the thing going. Mr. Toad.

The profs given the best years of his life to this year. He has to have a bit of windbag in first. Mmm. All right. Right for a professor.

So, the way it is working is this. The bows are from the top falling and making this wheel to turn. The wheel is driving the generator on the electricity from the generator. This motor is driving. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. This motor is driving the bottom wheel, which is driving the belt. The belt is taking the balls to the top when they are falling and turning the generator, which drives the motor, which turns the wheel, which drives the belt, which lifts the belt, which eats wonderful engine triumphs.

I am five conquer the mystery. We conquered the mystery of the universe. I shall be, we shall be famous.

Can he get it, can he get it, can he get it, go in? It's all in place. All is in place. Just right. Then, here we are going.

I am two, one, three.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Here he comes. Here he comes.

Oh, oh.

Oh, it's working. It's working. Look at this. Oh, look at this.

See it, Mr. Toe, no, I see it.

I've been hugging a night hood for this. Oh, he's just turned.

Oh, I see. I've off. Just waiting till there, Josh. He's this.

Yeah. We've got a few things to clear up here, Mr. Toe.

Yes, yes, yes. He'll carry on.

Whoo-hoo. Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Thank you, Mr. Toe. We will, Mr. Toe.

There's a few things to clear up like paintings and silver and gold watches.

All right, Mr. Toe. Oh, thank you, Mr.

Toe. Oh, he's laughing.

It is not Stuff and Nonsense, badger.

It is not Stuff and Nonsense, he do stop saying it.

There, there. Look at that. Oh. Oh, stop.

You see? You see? See nothing. No, no, it's all right.

I expect the professor has just switched off the motor that drives the belt that lifts him.

See, where is the professor?

It doesn't seem to be anyone else here at all, Toe.

Oh. Oh, anyway, that's what he'll have done.

In case anything goes not that anything can.

I mean, I'll just keep going again and then you'll see.

Oh, oh, oh. Tod.

No, really badger. Just watch. It's absent. You'd be amazing.

Oh. It's... it's a chagrin.

Oh, look at that.

Oh, oh, sorry. Mm-hmm. Sorry. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, no.

No one to blame but yourself, Tod.

You have, as those villains would know, to put it, been bronzed.

I say toad. Well, didn't you have a silver cup in that corner?

Yes, it's no one.

Well, where is it?

I can guess, Tod.

Oh, no.

Oh, dear. A lot of your paintings seem to have gone, too.

I paint... I show them my paintings, my knighthood.

Knighthood? Knighthood?

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Knighthood? Tod.

You are a famed glorious simpleton.

Oh, badger. What are we going to do?

Yes. Whatever we think of Tod.

Yeah, what? We can't let those weasels get away with it.

Indeed. We cannot.

No. Of course. Yes, Ratty?

I'm thinking... well, if it did work, it would be worth an awful lot.

Yes, it isn't working.

How do they know it isn't?

Because they built it in the first... Oh, Ratty.

I think I see what you mean.

I... word... yes.

What are you all on the bow?

I think Tod, that Ratty might have saved the day.

The world is quite astounding.

The king is over, Lord.

And Mr. Tod's invention is going to make him Lord.

Oh, Tod, it's wonderful.

Good old Tod.

My word.

Are we putting a brain face on things?

Oh, Keith, hello!

What a shame about Darren Wenson.

Hey? Oh, yeah.

Shame? Shame?

How do you mean?

We're off to London, you know.

London? Who are you on about?

We're off to London to tell the Prime Minister about the perpetual motion machine.

We're all going to be rich.

And a famous buddy, don't work.

Doesn't work, Chief Wiesel?

Who's been spreading that about?

Oh, no, it doesn't work.

I don't see why we should get to London to tell them about something that doesn't work.

Well, we must be going.

Come on.

No, no.

Wait a minute, let the kisses not be iced tea.

Tell us more.

Don't you think it sounds good?

Lord Toad?

Lord Toad.

Lord Toad.

Patron and owner of the Todus Perpetual and Perpetual Motion Machine.

Todus per...

Ear. That's my invention.

But you are bound in it.

And Toad supplied all the money for it.

We want our invention.

No, well, I'm off.

Sorry, but...

It's ours.

I don't know.

I don't think.

You don't know.

I thought you said it had never worked.

I can't understand it.

I must have done it right, but...

It works if it does work.

Thousands.

Hundreds of thousands.

Look, erm...

I'm sure we can come to some arrangement.

Well, arrangement?

Well, do a deal, you know.

I don't think so.

Absolutely not.

I've got money.

Mr. Toad's money.

I'm the same and Mr. Toad's painting.

And my silver.

Well, you can have all that.

And all the money.

And all my money.

And all his money.

And...

Well...

Oh no.

Start again.

I'll try again.

Tell Ry again!

It's no use trying again.

We've been bronzed.

I'm going to kill you, Bert.

I'm going to kill you!

Come here!

Come here!

You!

You!

I'll tear you in for a minute.

Ow!

Gee!

Ha ha!

The clever man that Oxford knew almost too few knew, but not a limb no half as much as

intelligent Mr. Doe!

The animals that hid in the armpits and tears in torrents of new, who was he telling us

that left ahead Mr. Doe!

The world has held eight heroes as his people's hegion, but never a name went down to fame

compared with that of Doe.

Intelligent Mr. Doe!

The wind in the wind blows, say the softly to you.

Follow my voice wherever it leads from mountains through valleys to deep rolling seas.

Oh, the wind so the green came down.

October the fifth.

I do not expect to sleep ever again.

Such were the horrors I have so bravely endured this last week, and to think that it was all

because of my friends and my hospitality, not to mention my jolly good idea.

And so, as I turned my back on Kathmandu, I took one last lingering look at the grandeur

of the Himalayas.

And three weeks later, as we sailed from Bombay Harbour, said farewell to India.

Forever.

Oh, badger that was quite wonderful.

It was smashing.

Yes, smashing Mr. Badger.

Yes.

What do you say, Toad?

That's it, yes.

Oh, yes, it was awfully good.

I have seen it all before, of course.

It's always new to me.

I suppose I should have brought some of my photographic creations.

Oh, yes, Mr. Toad.

You see?

They're really funny.

Yeah.

What?

How do you mean, Billy?

People with no heads and furry furry things.

And fingerprints.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

All right.

Oh, do let him go on, Toad.

It's time he was going home to bed.

Poor little chap.

And fate toad's right, Ratty.

Going on for half past eight.

What time will your man par back from your grannies?

About eight o'clock, Mr. Badger.

How about...

Well, but nothing, Billy.

Mr. Toad is right.

This time.

Hey?

Better get your coat and hat.

Oh, yes, Mr. Badger.

No, no, it's time we had a proper entertainment.

How do you mean toad?

No, I mean his.

I mean, it's a worry.

A worry?

Goodness me.

Yes, which I will organize at Toad Hall.

Yes, yes, a proper entertainment with the games and music and lots of you.

No, no, not lots of me.

Well, a bit of me.

I mean, say...

Yes, yes, yes.

It's all I told.

Ratty is teasing you.

Well, anyway, I will on Friday night.

Oh, but that's less than a week away.

Is it?

Oh, dear, very, Mel.

It will be wonderfully organized by then.

Well, I'm ready, Mr. Badger.

Good.

Good.

Now, who's going to see him home through the Wildwood?

Yeah, I will.

You sure, Toad?

Sure.

How do you mean...

Cut and mow an eye better come as well.

Good heavens rat, why?

Oh, there isn't anything in the Wildwood.

Frightens me.

The steam traction engine did, Mr. Toad.

Yet with the steam traction engine, isn't there anymore?

Look at...

It's Charlie Well did not.

Honestly.

Oh, come on, Billy.

I'll see you home all right.

Very well.

Have a car.

Have a care of...

What?

Well, foot pads, polygons, weasels, weasels.

Weasels?

Oh yes.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Well, are you going home yourselves?

Oh, yes, Toady.

I have to be up early tomorrow.

Well, in that case, you can come with me.

Then you and Rat needn't worry about the weasels.

What a noble chap you are told.

I don't know.

Oh, well, I'm not sure myself.

Yeah?

We'll see you on Friday night then.

Friday night.

The Sware.

Oh, yes.

Friday night.

Oh, oh, oh.

Mm-hmm.

Well, good night, Badger.

Good night, Toad.

I'd be there.

Good night.

And thank you, Mr. Badger.

I've had a smashing time.

Come on, Billy.

Yes, Mr. Toad.

Mm-hmm.

I say you are coming on you.

It's a book, Toad.

Mm.

A book with three words.

Title has three words.

Right.

First word then, Toad.

I know.

You're not supposed to speak, Toad.

No, no, I'm not supposed to speak.

Oh, shh.

Shh.

Shh.

Shh.

Shh.

Shh.

Shh.

Can we just have the first word, Toad?

Well, I can't remember what to do for the...

You hold one hand like that and the other like that.

Like a letter T.

Ah.

The...

What is the first word, the?

Well, I haven't done it yet.

Oh, honestly, that is...

Shh.

Shh.

Look, if you're going to spend all night going...

Shh.

I'm jolly well not going to play.

Oh, right, Toad.

No need for tantrums.

Tantrums?

May we have the first word?

Hmm.

Oh, right.

They...

They...

They...

Oh.

Second word.

No third word.

Ah.

The third word is two.

The second word is three.

Cool.

I thought you'd never...

Shh.

Oh, hmm.

Third word.

Word in two parts.

First part.

Hmm?

Ah.

Gum.

Fire.

The three.

From the most?

Musket.

Musket.

The three.

Musket.

Here.

Wait, wait a minute.

Wait, look.

I haven't done the ears bit yet.

What was this?

Yes.

And you've jolly well spoiled it.

Hmm.

I had a really clever idea for that.

I was going to do this.

Oh, my word, Toad.

That was a clever idea.

Yes.

I...

I hope you're not being funny.

Toad, how could you think it?

Right.

Who's next?

Oh, we won't play charades anymore.

We've had enough of it.

You mean you've had enough of it.

Well...

supposed to be having fun.

We are having fun, Toad.

Huh.

Put all my effort into organizing my little squirey.

And no, no one's enjoying it.

Nonsense, Toad.

I was enjoying charades enormously.

Oh, pooh, charades.

Erm.

No, no, no.

No, I know.

Ha ha!

A much better than all that charlie charades nonsense.

Nendid.

Yes, Badger, indeed.

It is?

Ha ha ha ha!

Sticky retail on the donkey!

A really intellectual game.

Ha ha ha ha!

Well, what?

Nothing, Toad.

Hmm.

Anyway, I've got the donkey pinned up over here.

Now, what happens is that your blindfolded spun around and then you happened...

Yes, yes, Toad.

We know how to play it.

Hmm.

No, do you?

Played it when I was five.

Hmm.

Hmm, really?

Well, I expect this is a modern version.

Ha ha!

So, who's going first?

Er, oh, all right then.

I will.

Hey, I was going to say I would.

You asked and most said he would.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Oh, all right then.

You have first go.

This is the blindfold, Toad.

Hmm.

Yes.

Right, Mole.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

I goodness.

Ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha!

There.

We're going to turn you round now, Mole.

It's all right.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Right, Mole.

Off you go.

Oh!

Yeah.

Oh, come on, come on, come on, come on!

Ha ha ha ha!

Shoo hoo!

Want me?

Oh, no, no, no!

Oh, no, no, no, no!

Oh, oh, oh!

Hey, fine, fine!

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!

Oh, oh, oh, oh!

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!

I think it's the thing!

Yeah, I say, Mole no need to destroy the family.

Oh, you know.

Oh, oh, oh, oh!

I will have trouble with the blessing of worm.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Oh, dear.

Oh, Toad, I am sorry.

Oh, it's all right, old chap.

It's just that you know sense of direction, you see.

I suppose not.

No, look, I'll have a go.

Mmm.

Yeah.

Ha ha ha.

Right now, Mole, tell me, run.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Ha ha!

Right, Toad.

Off you go.

Oh, right.

Oh!

Oh!

It's not over there.

It tastes toast.

Ah, there it is.

You can't catch me.

Don't.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Mmm hmm.

And the donkey is toast to Tom.

Yeah.

Well, one of them is.

Ha ha ha ha.

No, Toad.

Don't.

So I'll put it.

Ha ha ha ha!

Oh!

Ha ha ha ha!

Oh!

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Hey, howl!

I say you, Rogers!

Rogers?

Why are we Rogers?

Oh, standing at John O'Shooter are in my way.

Toad, we did him.

Oh!

Oh, would you wrap you though?

You can't put me off though.

Ha ha ha.

Not that way, Toad.

Oh, yes.

Oh, no.

Toad.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

And it's perfectly simple.

You draw a card and it'll have one of our names on it.

If it's someone else's name, you do it with an impression of them.

If it's your own name, you pass the card on to the person on your left for them to do it.

Oh, yes.

No, I see.

Oh, I've had rather a shock, you know.

You sure you want to play?

Oh, rather?

What, with my accountability?

Take more than a fall down a flight of tears to me.

What?

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Ooh.

You all right?

Mole.

You, Scott.

Oh, dear.

I'll be very good at this.

Just, aren't.

No.

Mm.

Mm.

They're not in.

Right.

Ah, Mole, oh man.

I don't think I could live without it.

Mm.

I couldn't ever leave it.

Ah.

I love every ripple.

Every.

Ratty.

It's me.

Ha ha.

The river.

It's me.

Well, that was easy.

Is that why you didn't get it?

Yes.

Thank you, Ratty.

Thank you.

Right.

Ratty.

You to go?

No, I thought he was me.

No.

Oh, say.

All right.

Ah.

Oh.

Pooh.

I say.

Ha ha ha ha.

You rotters.

You don't have to go.

It's the only thing.

Pooh.

Ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha.

Yes.

Well, well, well, who is it then?

Who is it?

Who is it?

Oh.

Come on.

Come on.

Tell me.

You.

You.

Me.

Who?

I say.

Ha ha ha.

No.

Ha ha ha.

Oh.

Makes me so silly.

Excellent, Ratty.

No.

Rottish.

Ha ha ha ha.

Oh.

Well, if that's your attitude, I'm not going to play a match there.

And don't bother to turn up your game.

Surely, surely I ever invite you and I'm going to my room and goodbye forever so there.

Oh, Toady.

It's only a bit of fun.

Well, poo to the fun.

Poo to the silly game and poo to you.

Now, that's what's just like Toad.

Oh, dear.

Oh, my goodness me.

Mmm.

Rotten lot.

Me at all.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Hmm.

I shouldn't speak to them again.

Hmm.

No.

Shilly, shirud.

Say, looky.

You don't come.

You don't come.

You don't know the claim, believe me.

It is only me.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, dear.

Oh, oh, oh.

Toady?

Hmm?

Time to get up.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, my goodness.

Hey.

Are you all right, Badger?

I mean, what?

Look.

Look here.

What's going on?

Oh, I mean.

Badger?

Hey, Shilly.

What am I doing here?

Moo.

Well, well, well.

You'll be like Mr. Bloomington.

Badger?

Moo?

That's a lot of my Rolls Royce, Mr. Toad.

You're right.

It's mine.

Oh, yeah.

That's not very nice, Mr. Toad.

Hey?

What?

Yeah.

Mr. Toad is suggesting a fine stove for these owners.

Not very nice.

Not very nice.

What's he done with the donkey cheese?

Lachie.

What donkey?

Why are you talking like that?

I swapped you the rounds for the donkey.

I hope you're looking after it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's my donkey's title.

Where's the rest of him?

Yeah, but I...

Oh, Chief.

They are me.

Oh, my goodness.

Moo.

Chief.

Oh.

Why have you got Moo's voice?

Mooly, he's got...

Oh, Mr. Toad.

Oh, Billy.

Who has Mooly?

Mooly.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, Billy.

They're glorious creatures.

Oh.

Oh.

Badger.

Oh.

What have you done with the three musketeers?

Three musketeers.

Oh.

How am I supposed to manage

without the ripples, Toad?

Gratchee!

They're the only thing.

Oh, Booboo.

Do I say no, stop it!

Toad.

Toad.

Toad.

Toad.

Toad.

Toad.

Toad.

Toad.

Toad.

Toad.

Toad.

Toad.

Toad.

Toad.

Toad.

Toad.

What ever's the matter?

Toad?

No!

Oh, Mooly.

Mooly, Madger.

I haven't got my donkey.

What?

Oh, God, you've fired rats ripples.

Three musketeers must have a minute in me, Madger, honestly.

Oh, Toad, Toad.

What ever's the matter?

Badger.

Is he a little badger?

Of course it's badger.

Are you all right, Toad?

No.

Oh, badger.

You must have dropped off.

Dropped off?

You've been having a nightmare?

Nightmare?

Haven't swapped the rose.

Haven't lost the donkey.

What?

Oh, um, it's a little, um...

It's a little, um, it's a little joke.

I came to tell you we're leaving.

Leaving? Leaving?

Yes. I'm sorry you're sorry I had to end this way.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, you can't leave, you mustn't leave really.

I thought you were never going to see us again, Toad.

I know, I know, I'm, I'm, I'm sorry.

Please stay, please don't leave me, I don't want to be, I don't want to be on my own.

Oh, please, oh well, of course we will, Toad.

We understand. Mm-hmm. Yes, we'll stay.

Oh, thank you, thank you.

Oh, Toad. And Rashi? Yes, Toad.

You know when you were being me? Yes.

I don't really sound like that, do I? Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, Toad.

Ha ha ha! The clever man that Oxford, no offers to be knew,

but none of them know half as much as intelligent Mr. Toad.

The animals that hid the arms and tears in torrents of noon,

who once said there's land ahead, Mr. Toad.

The world has held eight heroes, as is people's headroom,

but never a name went down to fame compared with that of Toad.

Intelligent Mr. Toad, encouraging Mr. Toad.