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00:00:08,843 --> 00:00:10,261
{\an8}Good evening and
welcome to Worm News.
2
00:00:10,594 --> 00:00:12,096
{\an8}I'm your host, William Worm.
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00:00:12,096 --> 00:00:13,973
{\an8}Yes, and I'm Wendy Worm.
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00:00:13,973 --> 00:00:15,891
{\an8}Yes, we know.
First up, an election update.
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00:00:16,267 --> 00:00:18,477
{\an8}Squiggly Miggly narrowly
clenched the nomination today,
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00:00:18,477 --> 00:00:19,520
{\an8}making him the
main rival to the
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{\an8}highly unpopular
President Jimble.
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00:00:25,693 --> 00:00:27,445
Squiggly Miggly's
definitely going to win.
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00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:29,572
President Jimble has no chance.
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00:00:30,281 --> 00:00:31,198
You never know, Allan.
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00:00:31,198 --> 00:00:32,867
After all,
President Ross Perot won
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00:00:32,867 --> 00:00:35,202
re-election in
1996 in a major upset.
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00:00:35,786 --> 00:00:37,121
Oh, you're so right, Pim.
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00:00:37,455 --> 00:00:38,873
I forgot about that factoid.
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00:00:39,790 --> 00:00:40,791
Who are you
going to vote for, Charlie?
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00:00:41,125 --> 00:00:42,126
I don't vote.
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00:00:42,126 --> 00:00:43,294
OK, I'll tell you why
right now, Pim.
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00:00:43,294 --> 00:00:44,837
Listen up very carefully.
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00:00:44,837 --> 00:00:46,714
Little guys like you and me
we're called peons in this world
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and we don't decide
who the President is.
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Come on, Charlie. That's silly.
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00:00:50,134 --> 00:00:51,635
Every single vote matters.
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00:00:53,220 --> 00:00:54,555
Look, I'm just not interested in
getting involved in politics,
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Okay? Sorry.
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00:00:55,973 --> 00:00:57,349
Hey, boys,
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00:00:57,349 --> 00:00:59,977
guess who just got a call to
make the President smile?
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The President will see you now.
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We do need corn,
you dumb motherfucker!
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Send bombs, not corn, BOMBS!
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I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I, uh...
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You suck!
You're bad at what you do!
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Quit Motherfucker!
QUIT!
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Good to speak to you, too.
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Thank you. You're terrific.
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Oh, oh, hi.
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Are you two here to bring
me my napkins?
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No.
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Okay, let me just buzz in...
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Mr. President, we're the
Smiling Friends.
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Oh, you's are the
two... two's I called.
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I don't know if you heard,
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but I was the Vice
President to, uh...
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President Pinhead.
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He died last month from a
bad shrimp,
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and I became
the President.
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Yeah, we know.
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It was literally
the bad shrimp.
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Tragedy.
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But now I'm friggin' miserable
50
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since I became the President.
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All these trolls keep
hating me,
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and I don't...
I don't know why.
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00:02:01,664 --> 00:02:03,374
Dude, no offence or anything,
but have you ever thought
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00:02:03,374 --> 00:02:04,792
that maybe you should not
be President
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and maybe you
should, like, I don't know,
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go lay on a beach or
something instead and chill out?
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00:02:08,546 --> 00:02:09,505
I can't.
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00:02:09,505 --> 00:02:12,216
This upcoming election
is by one ...
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00:02:12,216 --> 00:02:14,051
to prove I'm not a fluke.
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I want to win something
for once in my life
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so people will finally like me.
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President Jimble,
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it doesn't matter how
you got this job.
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What matters now is that you're
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the one sitting behind
that beautiful brown desk,
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and I believe
that's destiny.
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00:02:26,564 --> 00:02:27,857
Plenty of Presidents
were unpopular until
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they found out they
were good at one specific thing.
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We just need to find out
what your thing is,
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and you'll definitely
beat Squiggly Miggly.
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Yeah.
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You're sayin', I can be
the lamb president.
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No, I mean, like, policy,
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like, presidential stuff.
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What?
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Um, anyway, luckily
it's just a two-man race,
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so it shouldn't be
too complicated.
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Uh, guys,
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I don't know a...
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It's no secret that
President Jimble's A...
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is poor, angry and divided.
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That's why Mr Frog
is running for President.
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America needs his
calm and steady
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leadership to build
a safer America.
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A prosperous America,
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a stronger America.
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Vote for Mr Frog,
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and together we can build
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Mr Frog's America.
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Hello, I'm Mr Frog
and I approve this message.
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00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:14,528
No, I don't. I hate you.
Fuck you.
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00:03:16,447 --> 00:03:18,032
Pim, That was amazing. I just
got
goose pimples from watching
that.
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Charlie, don't look at that.
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Sir, have you ever tried giving
a rousing speech
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and inspiring the people?
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Maybe it's your hidden talent.
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I feel nauseous.
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00:03:25,247 --> 00:03:26,707
Nah, it's just your
nerves talking, man.
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You'll be fine.
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00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:31,128
Hello, Transylvania!
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I know most of you don't like
me,
but I'm here to ...
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00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:35,049
I can talk good
and give a good speech.
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00:03:37,259 --> 00:03:39,053
Oh. Excuse me.
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I think that lamb
I had earlier was rotten.
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!
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Okay, perfect.
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That adult diaper should
help with any...
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unfortunate accidents while
you're, ah, feeling unwell.
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Can we stop and
get more lamb for lunch?
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00:03:53,651 --> 00:03:54,985
No, no more lamb.
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Pim, did you see Mr Frog just
announced his plan
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to fix the economy?
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Man, he is good.
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Grr, I'll show that
toad bastard
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an ergonomic plan!
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Hello, America.
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I'm going to be the
money president.
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Each and every one of you
are going to get
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one billion dollars each
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so you can all be rich.
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Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What are you doing?
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00:04:17,341 --> 00:04:18,842
You can't do that.
You'll crash the economy.
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00:04:19,176 --> 00:04:20,761
Oh, sorry. I didn't mean
to do that.
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00:04:21,178 --> 00:04:22,221
Everybody's going to
have to give
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00:04:22,221 --> 00:04:23,514
back all that money
to the government.
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00:04:24,682 --> 00:04:26,350
By the way, sorry about
those loud noises.
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That was just my diaper.
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00:04:28,060 --> 00:04:29,853
I don't want to have another
accident from the bad lamb.
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All better.
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00:04:31,855 --> 00:04:33,107
Dude, check the news.
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It doesn't matter what channel.
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!
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Am I winning yet?
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00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,785
No, no, not at all, man.
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00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:46,412
You shit your pants and
crashed the economy
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00:04:46,412 --> 00:04:47,454
within the same day.
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00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:49,039
What are you
talking about, dude?
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00:04:49,039 --> 00:04:50,916
Pim - [sigh] Look, the one thing
you've still got over
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00:04:50,916 --> 00:04:52,543
Mr Frog is is that
you're actually in office.
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00:04:52,835 --> 00:04:54,128
If we can just
get you this one easy
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00:04:54,128 --> 00:04:56,046
foreign policy win,
we can make a comeback.
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00:04:57,047 --> 00:04:58,215
I'm feeling sick again.
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00:04:58,632 --> 00:04:59,717
Oh, my God, dude!
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00:04:59,717 --> 00:05:01,176
Just get through it quickly.
You'll be ...
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00:05:17,901 --> 00:05:19,987
Guys, I did it. I did it.
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00:05:19,987 --> 00:05:21,238
I didn't get sick from
the soured lamb.
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You... you were supposed
to condemn him.
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00:05:24,742 --> 00:05:25,534
What?
149
00:05:26,744 --> 00:05:27,828
You just emboldened
a war criminal dictator.
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00:05:29,038 --> 00:05:29,663
Dude, I don't know anything
about politics,
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00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:30,414
even I know he's bad.
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00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:32,416
He wiped a whole
fucking race of
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00:05:32,416 --> 00:05:33,417
people off the
face of the planet.
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00:05:34,585 --> 00:05:35,836
Maybe it will be all right.
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00:05:41,050 --> 00:05:41,967
All right, so it looks like
you're projected to
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00:05:41,967 --> 00:05:43,677
lose every single state
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00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:45,554
in what could be a
historic landslide for Mr Frog.
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00:05:46,764 --> 00:05:48,098
But we still have
the debate, I guess.
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00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:50,059
De-bate.
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00:05:50,768 --> 00:05:52,061
Haha. Debate.
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00:05:52,895 --> 00:05:54,438
If you think about it,
that's a funny word.
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De-bate.
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00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:57,066
Thank you.
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00:05:58,776 --> 00:06:00,027
Pim, I can't do this anymore.
I'm done.
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I'm bailing.
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All right.
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00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:04,198
Who was that guy?
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00:06:04,198 --> 00:06:05,407
What?
169
00:06:05,407 --> 00:06:08,243
Ugh, maybe we shouldn't even do
the debate.
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00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:10,412
Look, I know my brain
don't work no good sometimes,
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00:06:10,746 --> 00:06:12,623
but what about all
that stuff you told me?
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I promise I'll get out there
and try my hardest this time.
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00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:17,252
Yeah, you're right.
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00:06:18,295 --> 00:06:19,129
No, I'm left.
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00:06:20,964 --> 00:06:21,757
Left-handed.
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Man, this place is a labyrinth.
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00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:25,761
How the hell
do I get out of here?
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00:06:29,306 --> 00:06:31,141
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm just trying
to find my way out of here.
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00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:32,893
That's okay.
We're just an all-powerful
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00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:34,895
secret society that
you shouldn't know about.
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00:06:35,229 --> 00:06:38,357
We're just implementing our
insane secret plan to elect Mr
Frog
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00:06:38,357 --> 00:06:40,150
through mass
media manipulation.
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00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:41,735
I knew it. I knew
the voters didn't
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00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:42,778
actually pick the president.
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00:06:43,862 --> 00:06:44,780
Yes, and now that you
know our plan,
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00:06:44,780 --> 00:06:45,989
we're going to cover
you in dirt
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and slowly devour you
because we're worms.
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00:06:48,784 --> 00:06:50,327
No, I'm actually cool with
your guy's plan,
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00:06:50,327 --> 00:06:51,328
the current guy's
a bonehead.
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00:06:51,662 --> 00:06:53,247
Oh, really? Cool.
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00:06:53,247 --> 00:06:55,666
Yeah, Mr Frog's chaos is
exactly what we need to
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00:06:55,666 --> 00:06:57,543
expand our power. Join us.
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00:06:57,543 --> 00:07:00,504
Sorry, I can't betray my friend.
He's helping President Jimble.
194
00:07:00,504 --> 00:07:03,006
But I really am a big
fan of Mr Frog, like a huge fan.
195
00:07:03,006 --> 00:07:04,258
I love when he eats the
bug on the show.
196
00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:06,426
He-- He does what?
197
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:07,553
Yeah, you know,
when he grabs the
198
00:07:07,553 --> 00:07:08,846
bug on the Mr Frog
show and eats it,
199
00:07:08,846 --> 00:07:10,055
it's like his whole thing.
200
00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:13,058
Oh my God!
Aren't we a type of bug?
201
00:07:14,893 --> 00:07:16,687
Wait, stop!
Wait, stop!
202
00:07:16,687 --> 00:07:18,313
Everyone just stop!
Let's just make sure.
203
00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:21,984
Do frogs eat worms?
204
00:07:23,819 --> 00:07:25,070
Yes, yes they do!
205
00:07:26,071 --> 00:07:27,823
Oh my God,
that's TOO much chaos!
206
00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:29,741
We're totally going to
support President Jimble now.
207
00:07:29,741 --> 00:07:31,201
He doesn't eat worms,
he only eats lamb.
208
00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:33,871
Wait, no, no, no, no, no!
209
00:07:33,871 --> 00:07:34,580
Decisions final.
210
00:07:34,580 --> 00:07:35,455
Goodbye.
211
00:07:41,420 --> 00:07:43,297
Good evening. I'm William Worm.
212
00:07:43,297 --> 00:07:45,215
Before we begin, we have
just received word that
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00:07:45,215 --> 00:07:47,551
Squiggly Miggly will not be
attending tonight's debate
214
00:07:47,551 --> 00:07:50,304
due to the fact he blew his
head off with a 3D printed
shotgun.
215
00:07:51,555 --> 00:07:52,973
We want to remind the
audience to please not,
216
00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:54,308
ah, talk out loud,
217
00:07:54,308 --> 00:07:55,601
do not applaud.
218
00:07:55,601 --> 00:07:57,060
You're just wasting time.
219
00:07:57,311 --> 00:07:59,897
Now, our first question
tonight goes to Mr Frog.
220
00:08:00,564 --> 00:08:03,150
Mr Frog, why are you so evil?
221
00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:04,484
You have one second to respond.
222
00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:05,360
Hello, I think--
223
00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:06,320
Time's up, plus you're wrong.
224
00:08:06,737 --> 00:08:07,863
The next question is for our
225
00:08:07,863 --> 00:08:09,364
beloved and
highly intelligent president.
226
00:08:09,907 --> 00:08:11,658
Why are you so amazing?
227
00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:13,243
You have unlimited time to
respond.
228
00:08:14,703 --> 00:08:16,330
Oh, p-p-presidential...
229
00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:17,998
p-p-p-p
230
00:08:18,248 --> 00:08:19,416
policy, I--
231
00:08:23,462 --> 00:08:25,005
I can't do this.
232
00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:29,343
A little pink guy once
told me I needed to
233
00:08:29,343 --> 00:08:31,094
find out what I would
be good at as president.
234
00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:33,430
I've finally figured it out.
235
00:08:34,973 --> 00:08:36,099
I'm the president who
shouldn't have been the
president.
236
00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:37,601
Let's face it, I'm a--
237
00:08:37,601 --> 00:08:38,518
retard.
238
00:08:42,064 --> 00:08:43,190
You know, I always
used to want to,
239
00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:45,400
to win the election
and have people like me,
240
00:08:46,276 --> 00:08:49,780
but I don't care about
that any more now.
241
00:08:50,113 --> 00:08:51,865
I just want to
be honest, and everyone
242
00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:56,453
that trolled me and
gave me nasty messages.
243
00:08:57,371 --> 00:08:58,372
Fuck you!
244
00:08:58,372 --> 00:08:59,081
Fuck off!
245
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,083
JAG-OFF!
246
00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:03,252
Thank you.
247
00:09:04,753 --> 00:09:06,463
That answer...
248
00:09:06,463 --> 00:09:08,215
was correct!
249
00:09:09,633 --> 00:09:14,137
JIM-BLE! JIM-BLE! JIM-BLE!
JIM-BLE! JIM-BLE! JIM-BLE!
250
00:09:16,265 --> 00:09:18,141
When do the
results start coming in?
251
00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:21,061
Next few
minutes. I got 10 G's says
252
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:23,563
Jimble's gonna
win, and if he doesn't--
253
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:25,232
Then I'll take
matters into my own hands.
254
00:09:25,774 --> 00:09:27,150
Ha ha! I'm just kidding!
255
00:09:27,651 --> 00:09:28,485
I'll do it, though.
256
00:09:28,485 --> 00:09:29,736
I'm just playing, dude.
257
00:09:30,153 --> 00:09:31,238
No, I'm serious.
258
00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:33,156
But no, I'll actually do it.
259
00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:36,326
Hey, Pim, sorry about bailing
the other day, man.
260
00:09:36,326 --> 00:09:38,078
I guess I'm not
really cut out for politics.
261
00:09:38,495 --> 00:09:40,664
No, it's fine, Charlie.
Everything ended up working out.
262
00:09:41,164 --> 00:09:43,333
I don't know if President Jimble
is gonna win, but something
263
00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:45,127
about that debate
really turned things around.
264
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:47,921
Yeah, well, you know, it kind of
reminds me how Shrimpo Jones
265
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:49,089
won those debates
by surprise
266
00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:51,008
and went onto
landslide in 1980.
267
00:09:51,425 --> 00:09:54,052
Oh, Charlie, look at you
with the political facts now.
268
00:09:54,052 --> 00:09:55,554
Yeah, well, hey,
man, who knows?
269
00:09:55,554 --> 00:09:57,347
Maybe you're the one
that got me into politics.
270
00:09:57,347 --> 00:09:58,682
Oh, okay, good!
271
00:09:58,682 --> 00:09:59,766
Getting political! I see a
new Charlie! Oooo! Ahh!
272
00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:01,018
I've seen you, Charlie!
273
00:10:01,351 --> 00:10:03,145
Ha ha. Ha ha. Ha ha!
274
00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:05,355
Shut up! The
results are coming in.
275
00:10:05,689 --> 00:10:06,982
And now for an election update.
276
00:10:07,357 --> 00:10:09,484
Mr Frog and President Jimble
are in a virtual tie.
277
00:10:09,860 --> 00:10:11,278
The only state yet
to be called is the state
278
00:10:11,278 --> 00:10:13,488
of Pennsylvania
with its 19 electoral votes.
279
00:10:13,864 --> 00:10:16,199
Whoever takes this state
will be our next president.
280
00:10:16,992 --> 00:10:17,909
Oh, my God!
281
00:10:17,909 --> 00:10:19,202
Jimble could really win this!
282
00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:21,204
Uh, breaking.
We're just getting this now.
283
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:23,290
Ah, the state of
Pennsylvania has just been
284
00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:25,959
called for Mr Frog
by one single vote,
285
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:29,463
making Mr Frog the
president-elect of the United
States.
286
00:10:29,838 --> 00:10:30,839
Oh, this can't be right.
287
00:10:30,839 --> 00:10:31,548
Don't look at me, I don't
know w...
288
00:10:31,548 --> 00:10:32,632
Wait, what?
289
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:33,759
And we're getting
confirmation now.
290
00:10:33,759 --> 00:10:35,844
the one single vote
was from this guy.
291
00:10:36,219 --> 00:10:37,721
We're putting his name,
face address and
292
00:10:37,721 --> 00:10:40,557
social security number on screen
for our millions of viewers now.
293
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:41,975
Glep, What the fuck.
294
00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:43,143
Dude? Why?
295
00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:45,228
Well, whatever
I do now is on Glep.
296
00:10:45,854 --> 00:10:47,647
Glep, why would
you vote for Mr Frog?
297
00:10:48,023 --> 00:10:49,358
Our job was to
help President Jimble.
298
00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:53,987
Oh, okay, yeah. Good point.
299
00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:54,905
That makes sense.
That's fair. Yeah, yeah, okay.
300
00:11:11,505 --> 00:11:12,255
This is the life.
20487
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