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[ thunder crashes ]
>> [ laughs evilly ]
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00:00:08,942 --> 00:00:11,010
[ sawing ]
[ electricity crackles ]
3
00:00:18,151 --> 00:00:19,919
>> it's alive!
4
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[ thunder crashes ]
>> [ laughs evilly ]
5
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[ smooch! ]
[ laughs evilly ]
6
00:00:38,204 --> 00:00:44,644
[ dance music plays ]
>> uh...
7
00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:49,482
>> mmm...M&m's.
8
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[ crunch! ]
Oh fucking gross, man.
9
00:00:52,552 --> 00:00:54,654
This isn't even close to an m&m.
10
00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:56,923
>> [ chuckles ]
They're reese's piece--
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[ gasps ] What the hell?!
12
00:00:58,992 --> 00:01:01,394
>> [ growls ]
>> this one's throat is injured.
13
00:01:01,461 --> 00:01:06,433
>> their race is so primitive
And yet so fascinating.
14
00:01:06,499 --> 00:01:09,102
♪ their skin is naked to the
Breeze ♪
15
00:01:09,169 --> 00:01:11,604
♪ did their fur fall out from
Some disease? ♪
16
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♪ they're pale and frail and
Smell like a latrine ♪
17
00:01:16,509 --> 00:01:20,447
♪ but I feel like I must take
The risk, for my chosen job is
18
00:01:20,513 --> 00:01:23,450
Scientist ♪
♪ so even though my friends
19
00:01:23,515 --> 00:01:29,622
Might find it too obscene ♪
♪ I'm gonna fuck a human
20
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>> what?
21
00:01:30,857 --> 00:01:33,960
>> ♪ fuck a human
♪ fu-uck a
22
00:01:34,027 --> 00:01:37,564
♪ fuck a human
>> cornelius, my pencil broke.
23
00:01:37,630 --> 00:01:39,065
Be a dear and fetch me another?
24
00:01:39,132 --> 00:01:41,401
>> right away.
25
00:01:41,468 --> 00:01:43,235
>> phew!
26
00:01:43,303 --> 00:01:45,738
♪ this chick's cute, but smells
Like balls ♪
27
00:01:45,805 --> 00:01:48,241
♪ I guess she'll do when nature
Calls ♪
28
00:01:48,308 --> 00:01:53,079
♪ but astronauts are used to
Better ta-a-a-ng ♪
29
00:01:53,146 --> 00:01:57,250
♪ zira needs an astro-pimp
♪ I'm limp to blimp when I see
30
00:01:57,317 --> 00:02:00,420
That chimp ♪
♪ perhaps our common language
31
00:02:00,487 --> 00:02:06,759
Will be "Gang bang" ♪
♪ I'm gonna fuck a monkey
32
00:02:06,826 --> 00:02:10,096
♪ fuck a monkey
♪ fuck a
33
00:02:10,163 --> 00:02:14,033
♪ fuck a monkey
>> human, you can talk!
34
00:02:14,100 --> 00:02:17,704
>> hell yes, I can talk, and I
Can also hear, like when I hear
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00:02:17,770 --> 00:02:21,441
Damn dirty apes vowing to stick
Their damn dirty ape dorks into
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00:02:21,508 --> 00:02:22,675
Us humans.
37
00:02:22,742 --> 00:02:25,879
>> and I heard you vow to put
Your disgusting, hairless, human
38
00:02:25,945 --> 00:02:27,747
Skin flute into one of us apes.
39
00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:30,283
>> on my planet, we have a term
For this...
40
00:02:30,350 --> 00:02:33,319
>> both: "Best summer ever!"
>> if his theory is correct,
41
00:02:37,524 --> 00:02:40,360
Any one of those diseases could
Be used to camouflage him from
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The zombies.
43
00:02:41,528 --> 00:02:43,696
>> but he doesn't know which
Diseases are in the vials.
44
00:02:43,763 --> 00:02:45,531
>> no, not that one.
45
00:02:45,598 --> 00:02:47,367
>> oh, this is brutal.
46
00:02:47,433 --> 00:02:48,835
Oh, god, he's...
47
00:02:48,902 --> 00:02:49,736
>> no.
48
00:02:49,802 --> 00:02:55,441
>> yep, he just injected himself
With aids.
49
00:02:55,508 --> 00:02:57,110
>> it worked.
50
00:02:57,176 --> 00:03:00,280
>> oh, but he definitely has
Aids now.
51
00:03:00,346 --> 00:03:02,949
>> oh, geez, he's -- he's
Celebrating.
52
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:04,851
[ exhales sharply ]
This is sad.
53
00:03:04,918 --> 00:03:06,152
>> what's he doing now?
54
00:03:06,219 --> 00:03:07,487
Is he going back for more?
55
00:03:07,554 --> 00:03:09,155
>> oh, I can't watch this.
56
00:03:09,222 --> 00:03:11,524
Oh, god, we are making a snuff
Film.
57
00:03:11,591 --> 00:03:14,127
>> isn't aids a livable disease
Nowadays?
58
00:03:14,193 --> 00:03:16,629
>> that's hiv, not aids.
59
00:03:16,696 --> 00:03:18,031
>> come on, no!
60
00:03:18,097 --> 00:03:19,933
>> oh, this is brutal.
61
00:03:19,999 --> 00:03:21,200
>> what's he doing now?
62
00:03:21,267 --> 00:03:22,402
>> d-don't. No, don't!
63
00:03:22,468 --> 00:03:23,169
Don't do it!
64
00:03:23,236 --> 00:03:24,037
This is absurd.
65
00:03:24,103 --> 00:03:26,005
>> did he just drink his own
Piss?!
66
00:03:26,072 --> 00:03:27,540
>> he's all hopped up on aids.
67
00:03:27,607 --> 00:03:28,541
>> whoo!
68
00:03:28,608 --> 00:03:30,476
>> where did he get that
Sombrero?
69
00:03:30,543 --> 00:03:34,514
>> it was first prize for
Putting a fork in world war z!
70
00:03:34,581 --> 00:03:38,685
[ groans ]
[ retching ]
71
00:03:38,751 --> 00:03:42,789
>> oh, boy, it sure is a great
Day here on sesame street!
72
00:03:42,855 --> 00:03:45,491
>> yeah, especially since we're
The last neighborhood in
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00:03:45,558 --> 00:03:47,860
New york that hasn't been
Gentrified.
74
00:03:47,927 --> 00:03:52,531
>> until today because our
Special guest is hannah horvath
75
00:03:52,599 --> 00:03:55,234
From the "Marginally popular,
But ignored in the flyover
76
00:03:55,301 --> 00:03:57,403
States" hbo series "Girls."
77
00:03:57,470 --> 00:03:58,504
>> hey!
78
00:03:58,571 --> 00:04:00,907
Do you know where I could find a
Cocaine dealer/organic
79
00:04:00,974 --> 00:04:02,875
Vietnamese taco truck around
Here?
80
00:04:02,942 --> 00:04:05,378
>> fuck me.
81
00:04:05,445 --> 00:04:07,413
>> ooh, you're so cute.
82
00:04:08,948 --> 00:04:11,684
I really love how you don't play
Games, grover.
83
00:04:11,751 --> 00:04:14,520
>> oh, but I play lots of
Games -- patty cake and
84
00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:16,221
Marco polo --
>> oh, yeah!
85
00:04:16,289 --> 00:04:17,322
Insult my parents!
86
00:04:17,390 --> 00:04:18,491
[ moans ] Oh, yeah!
87
00:04:18,558 --> 00:04:19,492
>> whoa!
88
00:04:19,559 --> 00:04:22,795
Today we are going to learn
About the number 3.
89
00:04:22,862 --> 00:04:25,131
I have three apples.
90
00:04:25,198 --> 00:04:28,434
>> and I know three girls who
Were date-raped at the same bar
91
00:04:28,501 --> 00:04:29,435
On sixth street.
92
00:04:29,502 --> 00:04:30,603
>> that is sad.
93
00:04:30,670 --> 00:04:33,940
[ chomp! ]
Uh...You're eating my props.
94
00:04:34,007 --> 00:04:35,608
>> I'm proud of my body.
95
00:04:35,675 --> 00:04:36,776
>> I know. I know.
96
00:04:36,843 --> 00:04:37,977
>> [ groans ]
Yeah!
97
00:04:38,044 --> 00:04:38,645
>> oh, god!
98
00:04:38,711 --> 00:04:40,146
>> yeah!
99
00:04:40,213 --> 00:04:45,151
>> [ laughs ]
Yeah!
100
00:04:45,218 --> 00:04:49,522
[ tires screech ]
>> fucking jerry, man.
101
00:04:49,589 --> 00:04:53,192
That guy is always straight-up
Killing it.
102
00:04:53,259 --> 00:04:55,361
>> and now back to
"Indian love boat."
103
00:04:55,428 --> 00:04:57,630
>> siva will marry my
Uncle jarish, for he has paid
104
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Her dowry.
105
00:04:58,865 --> 00:05:00,767
And, ravi, you will marry the
10-year-old daughter of your
106
00:05:00,833 --> 00:05:01,668
Neighbor.
107
00:05:01,734 --> 00:05:03,970
>> but I have already known
Ravi's touch!
108
00:05:04,037 --> 00:05:04,971
>> you whore!
109
00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:06,305
>> I have shamed my family!
110
00:05:06,372 --> 00:05:09,876
[ water splashes ]
>> ♪ the indian love boat
111
00:05:09,942 --> 00:05:13,212
[ fog horn blows ]
♪ was this sketch progressive or
112
00:05:13,279 --> 00:05:17,884
Racist? ♪
♪ the indian love boat
113
00:05:17,950 --> 00:05:21,721
♪ I wrote it, and frankly I'm
Not sure ♪
114
00:05:21,788 --> 00:05:27,293
♪ the indian love boat
♪ could I show this to an indian
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00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:30,129
Friend? ♪
♪ the indian love boat
116
00:05:30,196 --> 00:05:34,367
[ elephant trumpets ]
♪ maybe it's best to just move
117
00:05:34,433 --> 00:05:39,605
On ♪
>> in 1998, two twins met and
118
00:05:39,672 --> 00:05:41,674
Reunited their mom and dad in...
119
00:05:41,741 --> 00:05:43,242
>> both: a parent trap!
120
00:05:43,308 --> 00:05:45,845
>> now we find out how it all
Began...
121
00:05:45,912 --> 00:05:47,180
>> I want a divorce!
122
00:05:47,246 --> 00:05:48,114
>> thank god!
123
00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:49,849
>> ...With two little
Complications...
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00:05:49,916 --> 00:05:50,717
>> you're pregnant.
125
00:05:50,783 --> 00:05:52,318
>> both: aw, fuck!
>> with twins.
126
00:05:52,385 --> 00:05:54,253
>> both: are you thinking what
I'm thinking?
127
00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:55,722
>> ...And only one solution.
128
00:05:55,788 --> 00:05:56,489
>> what?
129
00:05:56,556 --> 00:05:58,257
You want to split up twin
Sisters?
130
00:05:58,324 --> 00:06:00,526
You understand that children are
Not like monetary possessions.
131
00:06:00,593 --> 00:06:02,195
>> I do not, your honor!
132
00:06:02,261 --> 00:06:03,696
>> neither do I!
133
00:06:03,763 --> 00:06:05,398
>> okay, I'll allow it.
134
00:06:09,802 --> 00:06:11,571
>> you go back to england with
Yours.
135
00:06:11,637 --> 00:06:13,005
>> and you stay here with yours.
136
00:06:13,072 --> 00:06:15,742
>> both: and we never let them
Know the other exists.
137
00:06:15,808 --> 00:06:19,345
[ clap! ]
>> sometimes happy endings have
138
00:06:19,412 --> 00:06:21,647
Truly horrifying, glossed-over
Beginnings!
139
00:06:21,714 --> 00:06:23,116
>> [ laughing ] Bye forever!
140
00:06:23,182 --> 00:06:25,451
>> ideally!
141
00:06:25,518 --> 00:06:27,453
>> it's good to be back.
142
00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:28,988
Cool, man.
143
00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:31,124
Where's my food?
144
00:06:31,190 --> 00:06:32,391
>> oh, it's over there.
145
00:06:32,457 --> 00:06:35,428
Yeah, it's on the filthy ground
Now, 'cause we hear that you eat
146
00:06:35,495 --> 00:06:36,963
Food off the filthy ground now.
147
00:06:37,029 --> 00:06:38,965
Fuckin' savage.
148
00:06:39,031 --> 00:06:43,469
>> and we are in month three of
Overtime as the puck is still
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00:06:43,536 --> 00:06:45,805
Stuck under player 12's foot.
150
00:06:45,872 --> 00:06:48,307
[ knock on door ]
>> oh, goodie!
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00:06:48,374 --> 00:06:49,976
The whore I ordered.
152
00:06:50,042 --> 00:06:50,977
Oh!
153
00:06:51,043 --> 00:06:52,478
>> hello, mr. Franklin!
154
00:06:52,545 --> 00:06:55,314
Oh, if only there was a way I
Could see more of her body and
155
00:06:55,381 --> 00:06:56,249
Less of that face.
156
00:06:56,315 --> 00:06:57,450
Oh, well.
157
00:06:57,517 --> 00:06:59,051
It's not like they make glasses
With two different types of
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00:06:59,118 --> 00:07:00,219
Lenses.
159
00:07:00,286 --> 00:07:01,454
Hmm...
160
00:07:01,521 --> 00:07:04,290
>> and it was on that night that
Benjamin franklin came up with
161
00:07:04,357 --> 00:07:06,225
One of his most famous
Inventions.
162
00:07:06,292 --> 00:07:08,694
>> there...Should be a...Postal
Service!
163
00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:09,529
>> oh, yeah!
164
00:07:09,595 --> 00:07:12,365
>> [ moans ]
>> ugh, bruce!
165
00:07:12,431 --> 00:07:15,067
All we've done since we got to
Florence is sit at different
166
00:07:15,134 --> 00:07:17,570
Cafés and wait for alfred to
Randomly walk in.
167
00:07:17,637 --> 00:07:20,306
>> listen, selina, I know alfred
Goes to some café along the
168
00:07:20,373 --> 00:07:22,809
Arno, I just don't know which
One, okay?!
169
00:07:22,875 --> 00:07:25,044
>> can't you just tell him
You're alive in an e-mail?
170
00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:26,546
This is my fifth espresso today.
171
00:07:26,612 --> 00:07:28,214
I am about to shit myself!
172
00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:31,384
>> selina, if you can just be
Cool, like, for once, this has
173
00:07:31,450 --> 00:07:33,853
The potential to be such an epic
And awesome moment!
174
00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:35,521
Oh, my god.
175
00:07:35,588 --> 00:07:36,389
Oh, my god. Oh, my god!
176
00:07:36,455 --> 00:07:37,490
Shut the fuck up. He's here!
177
00:07:37,557 --> 00:07:38,357
Just look cool!
178
00:07:38,424 --> 00:07:40,126
[ dramatic music plays ]
>> that was it?
179
00:07:48,201 --> 00:07:50,436
[ farting ]
Aah! I told you!
180
00:07:50,503 --> 00:07:51,604
God damn it, selina!
181
00:07:51,671 --> 00:07:53,873
>> [ italian accent ] Hey, is
That-a bruce wayne?
182
00:07:53,940 --> 00:07:54,507
He's alive!
183
00:07:54,574 --> 00:07:56,175
>> son of a bitch.
184
00:07:56,242 --> 00:07:59,679
>> ch-ch-ch-cheese!!
185
00:07:59,745 --> 00:08:00,847
Crikey!
186
00:08:00,913 --> 00:08:03,983
Tastes like someone cranked off
On me gums!
187
00:08:04,050 --> 00:08:04,717
>> monterey!
188
00:08:04,784 --> 00:08:06,319
That's my vegan cheese!
189
00:08:06,385 --> 00:08:08,821
>> call it cheese one more time.
190
00:08:08,888 --> 00:08:10,690
I dare you, sweetheart.
191
00:08:10,756 --> 00:08:13,860
I fucking dare you!!
192
00:08:13,926 --> 00:08:18,364
>> you won the day, but I'll get
You next time, gadget!
193
00:08:18,431 --> 00:08:20,832
[ telephone rings ]
>> yes?
194
00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:22,802
>> hi, is this dr. Claw?
195
00:08:22,869 --> 00:08:23,402
>> yes.
196
00:08:23,469 --> 00:08:24,770
>> yeah, hey, dr. Claw.
197
00:08:24,837 --> 00:08:25,938
So, my name is nev.
198
00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:28,808
I'm actually a friend of
Inspector gadget, and he tells
199
00:08:28,875 --> 00:08:31,978
Me that you guys have been in
Some kind of death struggle for
200
00:08:32,044 --> 00:08:33,145
About 10 years now?
201
00:08:33,212 --> 00:08:35,548
>> [ groans ]
That's right.
202
00:08:35,615 --> 00:08:37,250
>> and you've never met.
203
00:08:37,316 --> 00:08:38,517
>> I'm shy.
204
00:08:38,584 --> 00:08:41,354
>> so, this is weird, but I make
A show for mtv called "Catfish,"
205
00:08:41,419 --> 00:08:45,892
And I'd like to set up a meeting
With you and inspector gadget.
206
00:08:45,958 --> 00:08:47,059
>> I guess.
207
00:08:47,126 --> 00:08:48,394
Sure.
208
00:08:48,461 --> 00:08:49,629
>> are you ready for this?
209
00:08:49,695 --> 00:08:52,398
>> to meet the man who's plotted
In secret to destroy my life,
210
00:08:52,465 --> 00:08:54,934
All because you offered us a
Chance to be on television?
211
00:08:55,001 --> 00:08:57,103
It makes perfect sense!
212
00:08:57,169 --> 00:08:59,405
My brain's been replaced with a
Boxing glove.
213
00:08:59,472 --> 00:09:00,873
[ door opens ]
>> hold on.
214
00:09:00,940 --> 00:09:03,209
>> my name is regina claw.
215
00:09:03,276 --> 00:09:05,711
And I've been trying to kill you
Because I'm in love with you.
216
00:09:05,778 --> 00:09:08,381
>> go, go, gadget closure!
217
00:09:08,447 --> 00:09:12,218
[ both crying ]
My enemy, my friend.
218
00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:13,185
>> hi, I'm nev.
219
00:09:13,252 --> 00:09:15,655
A couple years ago, I fell in
Love online.
220
00:09:15,721 --> 00:09:18,958
She wasn't who I thought she
Was, so I called her a catfish,
221
00:09:19,025 --> 00:09:22,261
The most disgusting fish in the
Sea on a national stage.
222
00:09:22,328 --> 00:09:25,431
And now I'm helping other people
Find their catfish, which is a
223
00:09:25,498 --> 00:09:28,434
Super-complicated thing that
Takes way too long to explain.
224
00:09:28,501 --> 00:09:29,769
So, let me get this straight.
225
00:09:29,835 --> 00:09:32,271
Some charlie guy has been
Sending you on missions for the
226
00:09:32,338 --> 00:09:34,473
Last five years, but you guys
Have never met him?
227
00:09:34,540 --> 00:09:35,474
>> it's a fun mystery.
228
00:09:35,540 --> 00:09:38,811
>> I'm afraid charlie might be a
Catfish.
229
00:09:38,878 --> 00:09:40,479
>> and...What's that again?
230
00:09:40,546 --> 00:09:42,815
>> so, they used to transport
Cod across the atlantic and --
231
00:09:42,882 --> 00:09:45,051
Look, it actually makes a lot
Less sense if I explain it.
232
00:09:45,117 --> 00:09:47,553
Charlie, can you come out here,
Please?
233
00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:48,955
>> all: charlie?!
234
00:09:49,021 --> 00:09:51,991
>> you' the one who sent us on
Missions where we had to wear
235
00:09:52,058 --> 00:09:55,061
Bikinis and sleep with men and
Then tell you every detail?
236
00:09:55,127 --> 00:09:57,229
Oh, this makes perfect sense.
237
00:09:57,296 --> 00:10:01,067
>> so...Which one of us is the
Catfish now?
238
00:10:01,133 --> 00:10:03,736
>> make it 40 cubits high, no!
239
00:10:03,803 --> 00:10:05,404
>> I will, god!
240
00:10:05,471 --> 00:10:06,706
>> noah, come on.
241
00:10:06,772 --> 00:10:09,508
You've been building this ark
For years, but have you ever met
242
00:10:09,575 --> 00:10:10,343
God?
243
00:10:10,409 --> 00:10:12,545
>> no one looks upon the glory
Of god.
244
00:10:12,611 --> 00:10:14,213
>> oh, boy. I'm sorry, noah.
245
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:15,281
This isn't an ark.
246
00:10:15,348 --> 00:10:16,449
It's a fishing boat.
247
00:10:16,515 --> 00:10:18,050
And you just caught a catfish.
248
00:10:18,117 --> 00:10:19,051
God?
249
00:10:19,118 --> 00:10:21,053
>> sorry, man, I just --
[ clears throat ]
250
00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:23,389
I just -- I really needed a
Boat.
251
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:25,358
>> you've changed my life,
Catfish.
252
00:10:25,424 --> 00:10:26,692
My name's not catfish.
253
00:10:26,759 --> 00:10:28,527
"Catfish" is the name of the
Show.
254
00:10:28,594 --> 00:10:31,697
>> oh, really?
255
00:10:31,764 --> 00:10:33,866
>> [ screeches ]
[ both grunting ]
256
00:10:33,933 --> 00:10:35,901
>> [ screeching ]
>> ♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk
257
00:10:40,673 --> 00:10:43,309
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
258
00:10:43,376 --> 00:10:44,977
Bawk bawk ♪
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk
259
00:10:45,044 --> 00:10:47,580
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
260
00:10:47,646 --> 00:10:49,281
Bawk bawk ♪
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk
261
00:10:49,348 --> 00:10:51,550
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
262
00:10:51,617 --> 00:11:05,297
Bawk bawk ♪
Ba-gawk! Bawk.
19287
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