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[ thunder crashes ]
>> [ laughs evilly ]
2
00:00:08,708 --> 00:00:10,977
[ sawing ]
[ electricity crackles ]
3
00:00:18,251 --> 00:00:20,019
>> it's alive!
4
00:00:27,460 --> 00:00:32,564
[ thunder crashes ]
>> [ laughs evilly ]
5
00:00:32,631 --> 00:00:38,238
[ smooch! ]
[ laughs evilly ]
6
00:00:38,304 --> 00:00:41,074
>> and now back to disney's
"Gargoyles."
7
00:00:41,141 --> 00:00:43,009
>> [ scoffs ]
Please stop saying that every
8
00:00:43,076 --> 00:00:44,177
Time we start to have sex.
9
00:00:44,244 --> 00:00:45,011
>> honey, come on.
10
00:00:45,078 --> 00:00:46,212
We are unattractive people.
11
00:00:46,279 --> 00:00:47,680
I'm just owning it.
12
00:00:47,747 --> 00:00:49,849
>> find mcclane and bring me my
Detonators.
13
00:00:49,916 --> 00:00:52,719
>> unless you want it to get
Messy out there, I suggest you
14
00:00:52,786 --> 00:00:54,721
Start organizing trips to the
Bathroom.
15
00:00:54,788 --> 00:00:57,590
And fyi -- the east bathroom is
Being redone and only has a
16
00:00:57,657 --> 00:00:58,091
Urinal.
17
00:00:58,158 --> 00:00:59,125
>> fine.
18
00:00:59,192 --> 00:01:01,227
[ door opens ]
[ hostages scream ]
19
00:01:01,294 --> 00:01:02,462
>> attention.
20
00:01:02,529 --> 00:01:04,497
If you are a male who has to go
Pee really, really bad, raise
21
00:01:04,563 --> 00:01:06,566
Your hand and keep it raised.
22
00:01:06,633 --> 00:01:08,935
This is your bathroom pass.
23
00:01:09,002 --> 00:01:11,738
When your group color is called,
You must show the leader your
24
00:01:11,805 --> 00:01:14,874
Pass before your group can
Proceed to the bathroom.
25
00:01:14,941 --> 00:01:19,479
If you are a woman who has to go
Poo, you are in the aqua group.
26
00:01:19,545 --> 00:01:22,182
[ static ]
>> hey, hans, I just took a dump
27
00:01:22,248 --> 00:01:24,317
In the east bathroom urinal.
28
00:01:24,384 --> 00:01:25,084
>> regroup!
29
00:01:25,151 --> 00:01:27,454
Everyone hand back your
Laminates.
30
00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:31,024
>> uh, this is the source of the
Transmission, but nobody's here.
31
00:01:31,090 --> 00:01:33,660
>> should a couple of space
Truckers be making first contact
32
00:01:33,726 --> 00:01:34,594
With an alien ship?
33
00:01:34,661 --> 00:01:36,329
>> [ shouting ] Sorry it's so
Messy!
34
00:01:36,396 --> 00:01:38,765
It's hard to get maid service in
Space!
35
00:01:38,832 --> 00:01:40,667
>> [ chuckles ]
Who are you?
36
00:01:40,733 --> 00:01:42,335
>> my name's gordon shumway.
37
00:01:42,402 --> 00:01:43,603
I crash-landed here.
38
00:01:43,670 --> 00:01:44,637
How ironic!
39
00:01:44,704 --> 00:01:48,274
My ship goes down, my insurance
Premium goes up!
40
00:01:48,341 --> 00:01:50,343
[ both laugh ]
>> that was hilarious.
41
00:01:50,410 --> 00:01:52,445
Maybe we should take him back to
The nostromo.
42
00:01:52,512 --> 00:01:53,646
>> ripley here.
43
00:01:53,713 --> 00:01:55,882
Quarantine procedure says we are
Forbidden from bringing any
44
00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:57,250
Alien life form on board, kane.
45
00:01:57,317 --> 00:02:00,019
>> thanks, captain paranoid of
The s.S. "Rules"!
46
00:02:00,086 --> 00:02:02,922
We're bringing this hilarious
Motherfucker aboard.
47
00:02:02,989 --> 00:02:04,757
>> ooh, nice outfit, brett.
48
00:02:04,824 --> 00:02:07,794
I didn't know there was a
Goodwill in space!
49
00:02:07,861 --> 00:02:10,830
[ laughter ]
>> this guy's jokes are obvious.
50
00:02:10,896 --> 00:02:12,298
I want him off the ship.
51
00:02:12,365 --> 00:02:15,668
>> the crazy cat lady who
Doesn't want us to have any fun
52
00:02:15,735 --> 00:02:17,537
Doesn't want us to have any fun?
53
00:02:17,603 --> 00:02:19,405
I'm gobsmacked.
54
00:02:19,472 --> 00:02:23,343
>> seriously, brett, I dress
Better than you, and I'm naked!
55
00:02:23,409 --> 00:02:28,014
[ laughter ]
>> [ coughing, choking ]
56
00:02:28,081 --> 00:02:28,781
>> whoa!
57
00:02:28,848 --> 00:02:30,683
Someone get that guy a tums!
58
00:02:30,750 --> 00:02:33,152
[ laughter ]
>> I can't not laugh at this
59
00:02:33,219 --> 00:02:33,953
Guy.
60
00:02:34,020 --> 00:02:35,255
>> your friend just choked to
Death!
61
00:02:35,321 --> 00:02:37,290
Your shitty jokes are going to
Kill my crew.
62
00:02:37,357 --> 00:02:38,458
>> can't you see, ripley?
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00:02:38,525 --> 00:02:39,659
He's the perfect organism.
64
00:02:39,726 --> 00:02:41,895
His jokes are flawless in
Structure and delivery.
65
00:02:41,961 --> 00:02:44,731
He nails it every fucking time.
66
00:02:44,797 --> 00:02:46,332
>> but kane is dead!
67
00:02:46,399 --> 00:02:49,502
>> the only thing that died is
Your interior decorator.
68
00:02:49,569 --> 00:02:50,168
Geesh!
69
00:02:50,236 --> 00:02:57,377
[ laughter ]
[ all choking ]
70
00:02:57,442 --> 00:02:59,379
What a delicious-looking cat.
71
00:02:59,445 --> 00:03:02,582
Allow me to introduce it to my
Stomach.
72
00:03:02,649 --> 00:03:03,917
Here, dinner, dinner, dinner.
73
00:03:03,983 --> 00:03:05,952
[ cat yowls ]
74
00:03:09,889 --> 00:03:12,125
>> get away from her, you hack!
75
00:03:12,659 --> 00:03:14,561
>> another outfit change?!
76
00:03:14,627 --> 00:03:16,563
What is this -- the oscars?
77
00:03:16,629 --> 00:03:18,398
Ha! I kill me!
78
00:03:18,464 --> 00:03:20,833
>> no. I kill you.
79
00:03:20,900 --> 00:03:22,035
>> hey, relax!
80
00:03:22,101 --> 00:03:25,038
Ever hear of decaf?
81
00:03:25,103 --> 00:03:28,041
That's gonna leave a mark.
82
00:03:28,107 --> 00:03:30,510
Anybody got any bactine?
83
00:03:30,577 --> 00:03:34,414
>> just shouting something
Doesn't make it funny!
84
00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:42,088
>> is this because I didn't use
A coaster-r-r-r-r-r?!
85
00:03:42,155 --> 00:03:44,757
[ wind whistling ]
>> just a lizard wizard in a
86
00:03:44,824 --> 00:03:45,491
Blizzard, yo.
87
00:03:45,558 --> 00:03:48,394
Nothing to see here.
88
00:03:48,461 --> 00:03:50,964
>> muckman, you stay here and
Keep april safe.
89
00:03:51,030 --> 00:03:52,899
We'll go after shredder!
90
00:03:52,966 --> 00:03:55,868
>> man, shredder and stuff.
91
00:03:55,935 --> 00:03:57,303
Craziness.
92
00:03:57,370 --> 00:03:58,137
>> yeah.
93
00:03:58,204 --> 00:03:59,505
>> hey. Question.
94
00:03:59,572 --> 00:04:03,810
Is there a full banana peel
Melting into my head right now?
95
00:04:03,876 --> 00:04:04,477
>> yes.
96
00:04:04,544 --> 00:04:07,013
>> that is unfortunate.
97
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:14,587
[ loud fart ]
What the...Who did that, man?
98
00:04:14,654 --> 00:04:17,356
That was probably krang or
Something.
99
00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:19,091
>> krang was never here.
100
00:04:19,158 --> 00:04:20,192
It's just us.
101
00:04:20,259 --> 00:04:23,062
>> nah, that was probably krang,
I bet.
102
00:04:23,129 --> 00:04:25,865
So nasty! That guy, man.
103
00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:26,966
>> uh, that's impossible.
104
00:04:27,033 --> 00:04:27,900
I would've seen him.
105
00:04:27,967 --> 00:04:29,035
>> nah, man.
106
00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:30,303
Nah, he was here.
107
00:04:30,370 --> 00:04:32,338
He blew ass, and then he left.
108
00:04:32,405 --> 00:04:35,675
>> muckman, I know you're lying.
109
00:04:35,742 --> 00:04:37,677
>> freaking krang, man.
110
00:04:37,744 --> 00:04:41,581
>> there is no way krang came
In, farted for 10 whole seconds,
111
00:04:41,648 --> 00:04:42,482
And then left.
112
00:04:42,548 --> 00:04:44,751
I absolutely would've seen that
Occur.
113
00:04:44,817 --> 00:04:45,885
Look, I don't care!
114
00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:47,620
You had gas! It happens!
115
00:04:47,687 --> 00:04:51,357
Just please don't blatantly lie
To my face!
116
00:04:51,424 --> 00:04:52,759
>> cool, man! No! Cool!
117
00:04:52,825 --> 00:04:54,427
Absolutely. I'm sorry. Cool.
118
00:04:54,494 --> 00:04:55,962
We -- we are cool.
119
00:04:58,498 --> 00:04:59,966
Krang, man.
120
00:05:00,033 --> 00:05:01,668
>> it was not krang!!
121
00:05:01,734 --> 00:05:05,838
>> [ panting ]
>> have you seen my soap on a
122
00:05:05,905 --> 00:05:06,472
Rope?
123
00:05:06,539 --> 00:05:07,940
How did I manage to lose it?
124
00:05:08,007 --> 00:05:10,143
It's on a freakin' rope! Ha!
125
00:05:10,209 --> 00:05:12,512
>> it's still not even a joke.
126
00:05:15,581 --> 00:05:18,351
>> I'm glad we finally admitted
We just don't work as roommates.
127
00:05:18,418 --> 00:05:20,286
>> now people will stop saying
We're gay.
128
00:05:20,353 --> 00:05:22,789
>> ah, this is much easier than
One of us ever getting a
129
00:05:22,855 --> 00:05:23,690
Girlfriend.
130
00:05:23,756 --> 00:05:25,391
[ knock on door ]
Oh, that must be the new
131
00:05:25,457 --> 00:05:26,025
Roommate.
132
00:05:26,092 --> 00:05:27,160
I found him off craigslist.
133
00:05:27,226 --> 00:05:29,829
>> um, is that safe?
134
00:05:29,896 --> 00:05:33,466
>> where can I put my spoons?
135
00:05:33,533 --> 00:05:34,233
Hey, bert?
136
00:05:34,300 --> 00:05:36,069
Dude, am I waking you up, man?
137
00:05:36,135 --> 00:05:36,536
Hey.
138
00:05:36,602 --> 00:05:37,770
>> what?!
139
00:05:37,837 --> 00:05:40,940
>> you ever put a gun in your
Mouth, just to get that taste on
140
00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:41,808
Your tongue?
141
00:05:41,874 --> 00:05:44,043
>> no, sam.
142
00:05:44,110 --> 00:05:45,912
>> hey, bert! Bert.
143
00:05:45,978 --> 00:05:46,913
>> what? What?!
144
00:05:46,979 --> 00:05:50,550
>> do I have blood in my
Mustache, bert?
145
00:05:50,616 --> 00:05:53,820
>> oh, is this another
Harebrained scheme like ernie?
146
00:05:53,886 --> 00:05:54,687
Oh, my god!
147
00:05:54,754 --> 00:05:56,422
You're shitting in the sink!
148
00:05:56,489 --> 00:06:00,460
>> your toilet insulted my
Spoons!
149
00:06:00,526 --> 00:06:02,428
[ mid-tempo music playing ]
>> hey, kids!
150
00:06:02,495 --> 00:06:04,230
Do you have trouble tying your
Shoes?
151
00:06:04,297 --> 00:06:06,699
Well, sam and I have a song
About it!
152
00:06:06,766 --> 00:06:09,635
♪ tying your shoes is so much
Fun ♪
153
00:06:09,702 --> 00:06:12,605
>> ♪ the american government
Planned 9/11 ♪
154
00:06:12,672 --> 00:06:15,975
>> uh... ♪ you make two loops
That look the same ♪
155
00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:18,811
>> ♪ everyone knows there was no
Second plane ♪
156
00:06:18,878 --> 00:06:20,079
Whoops! Uh-oh!
157
00:06:20,146 --> 00:06:21,247
My tooth fell out!
158
00:06:21,314 --> 00:06:24,016
Guess another angel got his
Wings.
159
00:06:24,082 --> 00:06:26,552
>> hey, bert! Just wanted to --
Whoa! What happened?!
160
00:06:26,619 --> 00:06:29,422
>> oh, ernie, I tried to make
Sam the new you, but instead, he
161
00:06:29,489 --> 00:06:31,257
Made me the new smackhead dave!
162
00:06:31,324 --> 00:06:33,192
>> oh, bert, I can cheer you up.
163
00:06:33,259 --> 00:06:34,694
[ pop ]
[ raspy laughs ]
164
00:06:34,761 --> 00:06:36,963
>> hey, I can do that, too.
165
00:06:37,029 --> 00:06:40,500
[ grunting ]
>> aah! Oh, god!
166
00:06:40,566 --> 00:06:41,334
>> don't go!
167
00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:42,735
>> I must, john connor.
168
00:06:42,802 --> 00:06:45,338
To protect the future, I must be
Destroyed.
169
00:06:45,404 --> 00:06:46,506
>> wait!
170
00:06:46,572 --> 00:06:49,609
Of all the abusive fathers that
Came and went, you -- a-a
171
00:06:49,675 --> 00:06:53,179
Terminator -- were the only
Positive influence.
172
00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:55,448
Stay. Be john's father.
173
00:06:55,515 --> 00:06:56,215
>> dad?
174
00:06:56,282 --> 00:06:58,351
>> affirmative.
175
00:06:58,417 --> 00:07:01,120
>> you were supposed to pick me
Up from school and take me to a
176
00:07:01,187 --> 00:07:01,788
Dodger game!
177
00:07:01,854 --> 00:07:02,688
>> oops! Forgot!
178
00:07:02,755 --> 00:07:04,590
>> I order you not to forget
Stuff!
179
00:07:04,657 --> 00:07:05,725
>> negative.
180
00:07:05,792 --> 00:07:08,060
A string of neglectful father
Figures gave you a strong
181
00:07:08,127 --> 00:07:09,228
Distrust of authority.
182
00:07:09,295 --> 00:07:12,165
That trait led to your role as
Leader of the resistance and
183
00:07:12,231 --> 00:07:13,733
Savior of the human race.
184
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:16,969
So go get me another beer, you
Piece of shit.
185
00:07:17,036 --> 00:07:19,705
[ can clatters ]
What are you doing, idiot?
186
00:07:19,772 --> 00:07:21,808
>> writing a short story for
School.
187
00:07:21,874 --> 00:07:27,713
[ beeping ]
>> would you like my review?
188
00:07:27,780 --> 00:07:29,215
This is terrible.
189
00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:31,584
You don't write stories again.
190
00:07:31,651 --> 00:07:32,485
You suck at it.
191
00:07:32,552 --> 00:07:33,753
>> don't worry! I won't!
192
00:07:33,820 --> 00:07:38,724
[ sobbing ]
[ whirring, beeping ]
193
00:07:38,791 --> 00:07:40,493
I am drunk!
194
00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:41,794
>> [ scoffs ] Good for you.
195
00:07:41,861 --> 00:07:43,296
>> don't smoke in my house, boy!
196
00:07:43,362 --> 00:07:45,598
>> I can do whatever I want in
My room!
197
00:07:45,665 --> 00:07:47,466
[ beeping ]
>> now your room has no wall, so
198
00:07:52,605 --> 00:07:57,443
It's technically part of my
House!
199
00:07:57,510 --> 00:07:59,645
Hasta la vista, butt-nut!
200
00:08:01,614 --> 00:08:03,983
>> he has a point, john.
201
00:08:04,050 --> 00:08:06,719
>> if we're going to save this
Ship, we'll have to tap into the
202
00:08:06,786 --> 00:08:10,089
Navigation computer and --
>> winona ryder's on this ship?!
203
00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:11,557
Lock my trailer!
204
00:08:11,624 --> 00:08:13,860
My ipod's in there! Ha!
205
00:08:16,929 --> 00:08:20,499
>> I don't usually get involved
In day-to-day operations, so I'm
206
00:08:20,566 --> 00:08:22,501
Smurfing undercover.
207
00:08:22,568 --> 00:08:24,203
They'll never smurf it's me.
208
00:08:24,270 --> 00:08:26,772
[ chuckles ]
Ohh, I haven't smurfed these
209
00:08:26,839 --> 00:08:28,574
Things off in nearly 300 years!
210
00:08:28,641 --> 00:08:30,443
Talk about crotch rot!
211
00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:35,381
>> so, you're my new intern,
Huh?
212
00:08:35,448 --> 00:08:36,948
>> that's right, farmer smurf.
213
00:08:37,015 --> 00:08:40,385
Teach me to care about your sad,
Little life -- I mean your noble
214
00:08:40,453 --> 00:08:42,855
And fulfilling, uh, career
Choice.
215
00:08:42,922 --> 00:08:46,225
>> well, smurfs are a thirsty
Bunch, so we got to smurf them
216
00:08:46,292 --> 00:08:48,427
Fresh milk every day!
217
00:08:51,097 --> 00:08:54,500
>> we've been drinking
Caterpillar milk?!
218
00:08:54,567 --> 00:08:56,235
Oh, this is agony.
219
00:08:56,302 --> 00:08:58,638
It feels like my hands are gonna
Smurf off!
220
00:08:58,704 --> 00:09:02,074
>> yep, my carpal tunnel got so
Bad, they had to fuse my wrist
221
00:09:02,141 --> 00:09:03,042
Bones in place!
222
00:09:03,109 --> 00:09:05,344
>> but our healthcare is smurfy,
Right?
223
00:09:05,411 --> 00:09:08,714
>> eh, my deductible is 2,000
Smurfberries.
224
00:09:08,781 --> 00:09:09,682
>> what?!
225
00:09:09,749 --> 00:09:13,185
[ cash register dings ]
>> dr. Smurf, why are
226
00:09:13,252 --> 00:09:14,587
Deductibles so high?
227
00:09:14,654 --> 00:09:17,023
>> boy, you smurf a lot of
Uppity questions for an intern.
228
00:09:17,089 --> 00:09:19,659
Uh, just treat the next patient
While I go for a jamba-juice run
229
00:09:19,725 --> 00:09:20,893
In my gold-plated helicopter.
230
00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:21,727
Zoom, zoom.
231
00:09:21,794 --> 00:09:23,195
>> actually, I'm not really
Qualified.
232
00:09:23,262 --> 00:09:26,265
I --
[ door opens ]
233
00:09:26,332 --> 00:09:27,400
>> we need dr. Smurf!
234
00:09:27,466 --> 00:09:28,567
Handy had an accident!
235
00:09:28,634 --> 00:09:30,269
>> did someone get a sliver?
236
00:09:30,336 --> 00:09:31,771
Oh, my smurfing god!
237
00:09:31,837 --> 00:09:34,006
>> I sawed right through a
Load-bearing mushroom!
238
00:09:34,073 --> 00:09:35,942
Half our building materials are
Fungus!
239
00:09:36,008 --> 00:09:38,377
Oh, trade school didn't prepare
Me for this!
240
00:09:38,444 --> 00:09:40,746
>> you can smurf his fingers,
Right, nurse?
241
00:09:40,813 --> 00:09:42,381
>> I'll certainly try.
242
00:09:42,448 --> 00:09:44,050
>> I'll certainly tried.
243
00:09:44,116 --> 00:09:46,319
>> [ crying ] You can probably
Stop sewing.
244
00:09:46,385 --> 00:09:47,119
>> no, no, no.
245
00:09:47,186 --> 00:09:48,254
I-I'm gonna get this.
246
00:09:48,321 --> 00:09:50,389
So, grouchy smurf, how's the
Coffee today?
247
00:09:50,456 --> 00:09:51,290
>> I hate coffee!
248
00:09:51,357 --> 00:09:52,058
>> oh! Okay.
249
00:09:52,124 --> 00:09:53,759
But how do you like working
Here?
250
00:09:53,826 --> 00:09:54,927
>> I hate working here.
251
00:09:54,994 --> 00:09:56,062
>> oh, goodness. Okay.
252
00:09:56,128 --> 00:09:58,731
Well, is there anything that
Maybe papa smurf could do?
253
00:09:58,798 --> 00:09:59,799
>> I hate papa smurf!
254
00:09:59,865 --> 00:10:02,234
>> all right, what exactly do
You do around here?
255
00:10:02,301 --> 00:10:04,170
>> I, um -- I...
256
00:10:04,236 --> 00:10:05,905
Hate stuff?
257
00:10:05,972 --> 00:10:07,273
>> I'm being deadly serious.
258
00:10:07,340 --> 00:10:09,809
>> I...I...
259
00:10:12,011 --> 00:10:13,379
I hate shoveling dog shit.
260
00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:16,215
>> well, now that's actually an
Appropriate reaction.
261
00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:20,152
Carry on, dog-shit smurf!
262
00:10:20,219 --> 00:10:22,488
>> ♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk
263
00:10:22,555 --> 00:10:24,623
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
Bawk bawk ♪
264
00:10:24,690 --> 00:10:26,759
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk
265
00:10:26,826 --> 00:10:28,928
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
Bawk bawk ♪
266
00:10:28,995 --> 00:10:31,063
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk
267
00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:33,265
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
Bawk bawk ♪
268
00:10:33,332 --> 00:10:35,301
Ba-gawk! Bawk.
269
00:10:37,236 --> 00:10:39,005
>> hey. Question.
270
00:10:39,071 --> 00:10:43,009
Is there a full banana peel
Melting into my head right now?
271
00:10:43,075 --> 00:10:43,642
>> yes.
272
00:10:43,709 --> 00:10:45,811
>> that is unfortunate.
273
00:10:45,878 --> 00:10:45,945
[ loud fart ]
What the...Who did that, man?
274
00:10:45,945 --> 00:10:49,448
[ loud fart ]
275
00:10:49,515 --> 00:10:52,451
What the...Who did that, man?
19684
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