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1
00:00:05,038 --> 00:00:09,042
[ thunder crashes ]
[ laughs evilly ]
2
00:00:09,109 --> 00:00:11,611
[ sawing ]
[ electricity crackles ]
3
00:00:18,251 --> 00:00:20,453
It's alive!
4
00:00:27,293 --> 00:00:32,531
[ thunder crashes ]
[ laughs evilly ]
5
00:00:32,598 --> 00:00:38,004
[ smooch! ]
[ laughs evilly ]
6
00:00:38,071 --> 00:00:39,672
You have my sword.
7
00:00:39,739 --> 00:00:41,007
And you have my bow.
8
00:00:41,074 --> 00:00:42,242
And my ax.
9
00:00:42,308 --> 00:00:43,610
[ auctioneering ] Hey, now,
We got a sword, a bow and an ax.
10
00:00:43,676 --> 00:00:44,210
I need a shield.
11
00:00:44,277 --> 00:00:44,878
Is there a shield?
12
00:00:44,944 --> 00:00:45,578
Do I hear a shield?
13
00:00:45,645 --> 00:00:46,679
My shield!
14
00:00:46,746 --> 00:00:48,047
Shield from the son of the
Steward of gondor, gondor.
15
00:00:48,114 --> 00:00:49,182
We got a sword, bow, ax, shield.
16
00:00:49,249 --> 00:00:50,049
My staff!
17
00:00:50,116 --> 00:00:51,184
We shall not pass on a
Shiny new staff.
18
00:00:51,251 --> 00:00:52,886
We got us a staff, a sword,
Shield, bow, and ax.
19
00:00:52,952 --> 00:00:53,887
No range. We need some range.
20
00:00:53,953 --> 00:00:54,988
Who's gonna give us some range?
21
00:00:55,054 --> 00:00:55,555
My arrows!
22
00:00:55,622 --> 00:00:56,523
Arrows from the elf!
23
00:00:56,589 --> 00:00:57,991
Got sword, shield, bow, ax,
Staff, and arrows.
24
00:00:58,057 --> 00:00:58,858
My horse!
25
00:00:58,925 --> 00:00:59,993
And a horse from the dwarf,
Of course.
26
00:01:00,059 --> 00:01:01,761
What on middle-earth could
Possibly beat one horse?
27
00:01:01,828 --> 00:01:02,429
Two horses!
28
00:01:02,495 --> 00:01:03,363
Two horses from the ranger.
29
00:01:03,430 --> 00:01:04,197
Two horses, two horses.
30
00:01:04,263 --> 00:01:05,131
Do I hear an oliphant?
31
00:01:05,198 --> 00:01:06,533
We might have a deal here,
Folks, going once.
32
00:01:06,599 --> 00:01:07,500
Going twice.
33
00:01:07,567 --> 00:01:09,803
And sold to aragorn, son of
Arathorn!
34
00:01:09,869 --> 00:01:11,304
Well done, aragorn.
35
00:01:11,371 --> 00:01:12,939
You deserve it. Good job.
36
00:01:13,006 --> 00:01:16,342
Congratulations.
37
00:01:16,408 --> 00:01:17,777
What just happened?
38
00:01:17,844 --> 00:01:20,680
And I swear, guys, we were
Making out for about 20 minutes
39
00:01:20,747 --> 00:01:24,117
Before I even realized this
Chick was a rat turd.
40
00:01:24,184 --> 00:01:25,518
Oh, yeah!
41
00:01:25,585 --> 00:01:27,320
Been there!
42
00:01:27,387 --> 00:01:31,524
When you're a solid dude,
You stick by your buddies.
43
00:01:31,591 --> 00:01:33,158
You work together...
44
00:01:33,226 --> 00:01:34,627
Play together.
45
00:01:34,694 --> 00:01:38,364
That's what friendship's all
About.
46
00:01:38,431 --> 00:01:42,001
And when your best friend comes
Out and tells you he's gay, you
47
00:01:42,068 --> 00:01:45,839
May not know how to act around
Him anymore.
48
00:01:45,905 --> 00:01:48,140
Make a gesture.
49
00:01:48,208 --> 00:01:51,344
Bring along some white wine to
Let him know you're okay with
50
00:01:51,411 --> 00:01:55,048
Him being gay, even though you
Probably won't ever, like, go
51
00:01:55,114 --> 00:01:57,283
To a gay bar with him.
52
00:01:57,350 --> 00:02:00,787
White wine...Fuck yeah.
53
00:02:00,854 --> 00:02:02,956
Happy birthday, young
Ben tennyson.
54
00:02:03,022 --> 00:02:04,924
What's with the crappy gift,
Azmuth?
55
00:02:04,991 --> 00:02:07,227
Last time I got a watch that
Turns me into aliens!
56
00:02:07,293 --> 00:02:09,395
That was when you were
Ben 10.
57
00:02:09,461 --> 00:02:13,333
Now that you're ben 14, you
Get more grown-up gifts.
58
00:02:13,399 --> 00:02:16,369
I saved the world like
40 times this year, and this is
59
00:02:16,436 --> 00:02:17,237
What I get?
60
00:02:17,303 --> 00:02:18,605
This birthday blows!
61
00:02:18,671 --> 00:02:20,273
It's not over yet.
62
00:02:20,340 --> 00:02:22,742
Here's your final present.
63
00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:25,111
[ sighs ]
[ groans ]
64
00:02:25,178 --> 00:02:26,513
Oh!
65
00:02:26,579 --> 00:02:28,448
That's for saving the world.
66
00:02:28,515 --> 00:02:35,288
[ chuckles ]
Happy birthday, ben 14!
67
00:02:35,355 --> 00:02:37,023
Come.
68
00:02:37,090 --> 00:02:38,958
I-I can't, e.T.
69
00:02:39,025 --> 00:02:40,460
This is my home.
70
00:02:40,527 --> 00:02:44,464
I'll be right here, elliott.
71
00:02:46,599 --> 00:02:47,634
You know what?
72
00:02:47,700 --> 00:02:49,302
I think I will come with you.
73
00:02:49,369 --> 00:02:51,538
Oh. Okay.
74
00:02:51,603 --> 00:02:53,439
That's great.
75
00:02:53,506 --> 00:02:55,775
This is elliott.
76
00:02:55,841 --> 00:02:58,111
He's coming with us...
77
00:02:58,177 --> 00:02:58,811
I guess.
78
00:02:58,878 --> 00:03:00,580
Want to see a picture of e.T.
79
00:03:00,647 --> 00:03:01,281
In a dress?
80
00:03:01,347 --> 00:03:04,150
Oh, come on, dude.
81
00:03:04,217 --> 00:03:07,720
So, you were the one who got
Stranded on earth.
82
00:03:07,787 --> 00:03:09,522
You sound like trouble.
83
00:03:09,589 --> 00:03:13,059
Where there's smoke, there's
Fire.
84
00:03:13,126 --> 00:03:15,261
You just pull that
Glowing-finger thing out for
85
00:03:15,328 --> 00:03:15,895
Anyone, huh?
86
00:03:15,962 --> 00:03:17,196
Aah!
87
00:03:17,263 --> 00:03:19,198
Come on, bro.
88
00:03:19,265 --> 00:03:23,403
You're kryptonite for vagina.
89
00:03:23,469 --> 00:03:25,538
Oh, come on, homes.
90
00:03:25,605 --> 00:03:27,740
I thought you were looking for
A job.
91
00:03:27,807 --> 00:03:31,044
Oh, yeah, I forgot about all
Those doubles you pulled at the
92
00:03:31,110 --> 00:03:34,547
Circle k when you weren't
Playing dress-up with my sister.
93
00:03:34,614 --> 00:03:36,749
Sometimes I feel like you were
Just asking me to come with you
94
00:03:36,816 --> 00:03:37,716
To be polite!
95
00:03:37,784 --> 00:03:40,553
Oh, looks like the case is
Closed, sherlock.
96
00:03:40,620 --> 00:03:42,755
That's it! I'm phoning home!
97
00:03:42,822 --> 00:03:45,792
Not with my minutes, you're
Not.
98
00:03:45,858 --> 00:03:50,063
When you realize maybe you
Married the wrong woman, you try
99
00:03:50,129 --> 00:03:52,966
Not to think about it.
100
00:03:53,031 --> 00:03:55,969
When you're jealous that your
Friend's at gay bars every
101
00:03:56,035 --> 00:03:59,305
Night, getting laid more than
You because he's gay and the
102
00:03:59,372 --> 00:04:02,809
Pressure to get married at an
Early age just isn't the same in
103
00:04:02,875 --> 00:04:06,079
His world, you keep that to
Yourself.
104
00:04:06,145 --> 00:04:08,314
And you hammer down a
Half a bottle of white wine to
105
00:04:08,381 --> 00:04:10,249
Help you forget.
106
00:04:10,316 --> 00:04:13,186
White wine...Fuck yeah.
107
00:04:13,252 --> 00:04:14,320
Meow.
108
00:04:14,387 --> 00:04:18,625
I regret that I have but one
Life to give for my country!
109
00:04:18,690 --> 00:04:20,860
Nice try. Get nine nooses!
110
00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:22,428
Meow. Damn it.
111
00:04:22,495 --> 00:04:24,230
You like the show, ladies?
112
00:04:24,297 --> 00:04:25,098
Good, good.
113
00:04:25,164 --> 00:04:25,898
Oh, hello.
114
00:04:25,965 --> 00:04:27,266
What have we here?
115
00:04:27,332 --> 00:04:29,002
You want to come backstage?
116
00:04:29,068 --> 00:04:31,237
Uh, isn't she a little young?
117
00:04:31,304 --> 00:04:33,339
I'm gonna check her I.D.,
Woman!
118
00:04:33,406 --> 00:04:35,642
I'm not gonna check your I.D.
119
00:04:35,707 --> 00:04:39,112
So, my idea is a bank that
Also reports the news and
120
00:04:39,178 --> 00:04:41,014
Produces movies and tv shows.
121
00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:42,882
Combine them all into one?
122
00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:44,484
I love it, jered!
123
00:04:44,550 --> 00:04:46,185
Mama, who's missing?
124
00:04:46,252 --> 00:04:49,522
At every passover seder, we
Set a place for the prophet
125
00:04:49,589 --> 00:04:50,189
Elijah.
126
00:04:50,256 --> 00:04:51,524
Have I met him?
127
00:04:51,591 --> 00:04:53,226
No, little shevvetz.
128
00:04:53,292 --> 00:04:59,032
The prophet elijah died 3,000
Years ago on a night just like
129
00:04:59,098 --> 00:05:00,199
This one.
130
00:05:00,266 --> 00:05:02,735
Ooh! Tell me the story, papa!
131
00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:05,838
Yes, tell us the story, papa!
132
00:05:05,905 --> 00:05:12,045
[ all shriek, scream ]
Oh, gefilte fish?
133
00:05:12,111 --> 00:05:14,047
Gross.
134
00:05:14,113 --> 00:05:16,749
I love being psychically
Bonded to my sectaur.
135
00:05:16,816 --> 00:05:18,051
He does everything I do.
136
00:05:18,117 --> 00:05:19,218
Hey, where's skulk?
137
00:05:19,285 --> 00:05:21,521
He wouldn't go far without his
Tarantula.
138
00:05:21,587 --> 00:05:26,693
He said he was doing his
Taxes.
139
00:05:26,759 --> 00:05:29,128
[ tarantula groaning ]
[ tarantula crying ]
140
00:05:35,835 --> 00:05:37,904
Uh, maybe we should, uh...
141
00:05:37,970 --> 00:05:41,607
Yeah, let's just get the
Fuck out of here.
142
00:05:41,674 --> 00:05:45,178
[ tarantula continues crying ]
Oh, now, here's an affordable
143
00:05:45,244 --> 00:05:45,945
Little beauty.
144
00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:46,846
Fully automatic.
145
00:05:46,913 --> 00:05:48,581
126 horsepower.
146
00:05:48,648 --> 00:05:50,116
What does "Horsepower" mean?
147
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:53,786
Well, it means this car is
Better than 126 horses.
148
00:05:53,853 --> 00:05:55,555
How'd you figure that out?
149
00:05:55,621 --> 00:05:56,756
Well, you see...
150
00:05:56,823 --> 00:05:59,859
Ladies and gentlemen, I don't
Believe it either, but this
151
00:05:59,926 --> 00:06:02,729
Corolla has bested 124 horses
Right before our eyes, though
152
00:06:02,795 --> 00:06:05,131
I'm betting these next three
Thoroughbreds will have
153
00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:07,066
Something to say about that!
154
00:06:07,266 --> 00:06:09,569
[ horse whinnying ]
155
00:06:09,769 --> 00:06:12,305
[ engine revving ]
[ buzzer ]
156
00:06:12,371 --> 00:06:22,682
[ tires screech ]
[ crowd cheers ]
157
00:06:22,749 --> 00:06:25,118
[ horse neighs ]
[ tires screech ]
158
00:06:35,161 --> 00:06:37,530
Aah!
159
00:06:49,842 --> 00:06:53,212
[ horse whinnies ]
[ buzzer ]
160
00:06:53,279 --> 00:06:56,582
So, you know, there you have
It.
161
00:06:56,649 --> 00:06:58,117
Are you on cocaine?
162
00:06:58,183 --> 00:06:59,852
Oh, hot-diggity!
163
00:06:59,919 --> 00:07:02,588
I can't believe I ate the
Whole thing.
164
00:07:02,655 --> 00:07:05,091
I really got my rocks off.
165
00:07:05,158 --> 00:07:07,193
Orange you glad I tickled
Your asshole?
166
00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:09,462
Hey, I didn't ask you to
Do that.
167
00:07:09,529 --> 00:07:13,633
When you follow your buddy
To a gay bar just once, just to
168
00:07:13,699 --> 00:07:17,203
See what it's like, you dress
The part.
169
00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:21,307
When you decide receiving oral
Doesn't really count as gay,
170
00:07:21,374 --> 00:07:24,377
You're on your way to an
Adventure.
171
00:07:24,443 --> 00:07:29,715
But when you realize that gay or
Not, it does count as cheating
172
00:07:29,782 --> 00:07:35,354
On your wife, buddy, it's time
For white wine.
173
00:07:35,421 --> 00:07:38,624
White wine...Fuck yeah.
174
00:07:38,691 --> 00:07:40,560
All right, what do we got in
Here?
175
00:07:40,626 --> 00:07:43,062
O.J., purple stuff, soda...
176
00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:44,197
[ gasps ] Look! Sunnyd!
177
00:07:44,263 --> 00:07:46,199
Wait, what the hell is purple
Stuff?
178
00:07:46,265 --> 00:07:47,533
It doesn't even have a label.
179
00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:49,202
You think it'll get us
High?
180
00:07:49,268 --> 00:07:51,304
Only one way to find out!
181
00:08:02,648 --> 00:08:06,619
[ horn blares ]
David!
182
00:08:06,686 --> 00:08:08,187
Don't you die on me!
183
00:08:08,254 --> 00:08:10,690
[ coughs ]
I might not have to.
184
00:08:10,756 --> 00:08:12,258
What do you mean?
185
00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:15,261
One last theory about...
186
00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:19,432
Purple stuff.
187
00:08:19,498 --> 00:08:24,503
[ liquid hisses, bubbles ]
[ bones cracking ]
188
00:08:24,570 --> 00:08:29,609
[ gasps ]
It -- it worked!
189
00:08:29,675 --> 00:08:31,177
Okay, let's see.
190
00:08:31,244 --> 00:08:32,778
O.J., sunnyd, soda...
191
00:08:32,845 --> 00:08:34,679
Hey, who took my purple stuff?!
192
00:08:34,746 --> 00:08:36,582
Aw, dad damn it!
193
00:08:36,649 --> 00:08:39,485
[ gulping ]
Ugh! God!
194
00:08:39,552 --> 00:08:41,587
It's like someone poured a
Bottle of perfume into orange
195
00:08:41,654 --> 00:08:42,455
Juice.
196
00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:44,256
Take it easy on me, huh, doc?
197
00:08:44,323 --> 00:08:45,958
You got it, sal.
198
00:08:46,025 --> 00:08:47,994
[ grunts ]
Aah!
199
00:08:48,060 --> 00:08:48,928
Earth!
200
00:08:48,995 --> 00:08:49,795
Fire!
201
00:08:49,862 --> 00:08:50,663
Wind!
202
00:08:50,730 --> 00:08:51,597
Water!
203
00:08:51,664 --> 00:08:52,698
Heart!
204
00:08:52,765 --> 00:08:57,470
By your powers combined,
I am captain planet!
205
00:08:57,536 --> 00:08:59,672
All: [ unenthused ] Go,
Planet.
206
00:08:59,739 --> 00:09:02,942
Whoa. Really not feeling the
Love today, kids.
207
00:09:03,009 --> 00:09:04,477
It's not my abs, is it?
208
00:09:04,543 --> 00:09:05,411
I switched trainers.
209
00:09:05,478 --> 00:09:06,679
I've just got to rehire jenny.
210
00:09:06,746 --> 00:09:07,613
No, cap.
211
00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:10,149
Today's mission is gonna be
Kind of intense.
212
00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:13,719
Has hoggish greedly reunited
The eco-villains again?
213
00:09:13,786 --> 00:09:15,121
No, captain planet.
214
00:09:15,187 --> 00:09:21,794
So who is this villain in
Need of a good, sound thrashing?
215
00:09:21,861 --> 00:09:22,695
Oh, no!
216
00:09:22,762 --> 00:09:25,464
Have eco-terrorists taken over
The capitol?
217
00:09:25,531 --> 00:09:26,699
You might say that.
218
00:09:26,766 --> 00:09:29,602
The united states is the
Second-largest polluter on
219
00:09:29,669 --> 00:09:30,803
Earth, behind china.
220
00:09:30,870 --> 00:09:32,738
To truly make a difference...
221
00:09:32,805 --> 00:09:35,775
We must overthrow the
United states government.
222
00:09:35,841 --> 00:09:37,910
[ laughs ]
Is ashton kutcher around here
223
00:09:37,977 --> 00:09:39,011
Somewhere?
224
00:09:39,078 --> 00:09:41,714
[ chuckles nervously ]
We're not waging war on america.
225
00:09:41,781 --> 00:09:43,115
Not just america!
226
00:09:43,182 --> 00:09:44,417
Once we command the u.S.
227
00:09:44,483 --> 00:09:46,752
Military, we'll fight china to
The death.
228
00:09:46,819 --> 00:09:49,622
This is so important, gi will
Fight her own people!
229
00:09:49,689 --> 00:09:50,489
I'm from thailand.
230
00:09:50,556 --> 00:09:52,391
The capital of china.
231
00:09:52,458 --> 00:09:55,127
I won't let you!
232
00:09:55,194 --> 00:09:56,729
[ grunts ]
Aah!
233
00:09:56,796 --> 00:09:58,130
Ha!
234
00:09:58,197 --> 00:09:59,165
Aah!
235
00:09:59,231 --> 00:10:03,502
[ grunts ]
Oh!
236
00:10:03,569 --> 00:10:04,503
Why?
237
00:10:04,570 --> 00:10:10,242
[ screaming ]
You leave me no choice.
238
00:10:10,309 --> 00:10:15,548
[ grunts ]
Ma-ti, I thought you were the
239
00:10:15,614 --> 00:10:16,716
Power of heart.
240
00:10:16,782 --> 00:10:21,854
Hearts were made to be
Broken.
241
00:10:21,921 --> 00:10:22,488
Whoa.
242
00:10:22,555 --> 00:10:23,756
This just took a dark turn.
243
00:10:23,823 --> 00:10:28,060
[ grunting ]
244
00:10:28,260 --> 00:10:31,197
In the news tonight, the
Famous ecological heroes
245
00:10:31,263 --> 00:10:34,033
The planeteers attacked the
U.S. Capitol today.
246
00:10:34,100 --> 00:10:37,737
Bob, the planeteers showed no
Mercy for approximately 5 to 10
247
00:10:37,803 --> 00:10:40,373
Seconds before they were all
Shot in the back by an
248
00:10:40,439 --> 00:10:43,376
Overweight security guard here
At the very first checkpoint.
249
00:10:43,442 --> 00:10:46,212
We're hearing from the
Families that the bodies will
250
00:10:46,278 --> 00:10:48,581
Not be cremated due to
Environmental concerns.
251
00:10:48,647 --> 00:10:50,082
They'll be mulched.
252
00:10:50,149 --> 00:10:52,218
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk
253
00:10:52,284 --> 00:10:54,387
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
Bawk bawk ♪
254
00:10:54,453 --> 00:10:56,555
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk
255
00:10:56,622 --> 00:10:58,691
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
Bawk bawk ♪
256
00:10:58,758 --> 00:11:00,860
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk
257
00:11:00,926 --> 00:11:03,029
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
Bawk bawk ♪
258
00:11:03,095 --> 00:11:05,664
Ba-gawk! Bawk.
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