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1
00:00:05,038 --> 00:00:09,109
[ thunder crashes ]
[ laughs evilly ]
2
00:00:09,175 --> 00:00:11,111
[ sawing ]
[ electricity crackles ]
3
00:00:18,184 --> 00:00:20,019
It's alive!
4
00:00:27,427 --> 00:00:32,564
[ thunder crashes ]
[ laughs evilly ]
5
00:00:32,631 --> 00:00:38,171
[ smooch! ]
[ laughs evilly ]
6
00:00:38,238 --> 00:00:40,173
Go, go, gadget go-go!
7
00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:43,176
[ dance music plays ]
[ rip! ]
8
00:00:43,243 --> 00:00:44,944
[ moaning ]
I think this photo shoot is
9
00:00:56,322 --> 00:00:57,490
Premature, jerry.
10
00:00:57,557 --> 00:00:59,426
We haven't even decided whether
We'll be a coffee company or a
11
00:00:59,492 --> 00:01:01,161
Studio specializing in mermaid
Porn!
12
00:01:01,227 --> 00:01:02,862
Either way, we're gonna need
A logo.
13
00:01:02,929 --> 00:01:05,965
Ooh, let's shoot the sexy one
First!
14
00:01:06,032 --> 00:01:08,334
[ camera shutter clicks ]
[ creak! ]
15
00:01:08,401 --> 00:01:09,769
[ clunk! ]
[ thud! Shatter! ]
16
00:01:09,836 --> 00:01:13,306
[ gasping ]
That model was someone's
17
00:01:13,373 --> 00:01:16,309
Child, and she died in a topless
Mermaid costume!
18
00:01:16,376 --> 00:01:17,277
It was an accident.
19
00:01:17,343 --> 00:01:18,478
That was a sign from god!
20
00:01:18,545 --> 00:01:20,045
We're not doing mermaid porn,
Got it?!
21
00:01:20,113 --> 00:01:22,048
Fine, fine, we'll do the
Coffee thing!
22
00:01:22,115 --> 00:01:24,150
But we still need a logo, and
Photo shoots ain't cheap.
23
00:01:24,217 --> 00:01:26,453
We'll use this [voice
Breaking ] In her memory.
24
00:01:26,519 --> 00:01:27,454
Uh...
25
00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:28,521
We'll crop it!
26
00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:33,059
[ harp music plays ]
That was the best 10" cube of
27
00:01:33,126 --> 00:01:34,360
Tofu I've ever had!
28
00:01:34,426 --> 00:01:38,031
I hope someday in the future,
Everyone goes vegetarian.
29
00:01:38,097 --> 00:01:40,500
[ zap! ]
I am from the future -- a
30
00:01:40,567 --> 00:01:42,969
Future where everyone is
Vegetarian!
31
00:01:43,036 --> 00:01:43,735
Awesome!
32
00:01:43,803 --> 00:01:45,138
That's wonderful!
33
00:01:45,205 --> 00:01:46,506
You don't understand!
34
00:01:46,573 --> 00:01:48,842
[ zap! ]
[ growls ]
35
00:01:48,908 --> 00:01:49,342
Run!
36
00:01:49,408 --> 00:01:50,810
Hey, there, buddy.
37
00:01:50,877 --> 00:01:53,246
I'm one of the good one--
[ gunfire ]
38
00:01:53,313 --> 00:01:54,848
[ groans ]
[ moos ]
39
00:01:54,914 --> 00:01:58,051
So, you're saying with no
Natural enemies, cows became
40
00:01:58,116 --> 00:02:01,821
Earth's dominant species, and
Since cows don't know right from
41
00:02:01,888 --> 00:02:02,755
Wrong...
42
00:02:02,822 --> 00:02:05,091
Cows became the ultimate
Killing machines.
43
00:02:05,158 --> 00:02:08,294
[ moos ]
[ both grunting ]
44
00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:10,128
[ strained ] Shoot the cow!
45
00:02:10,196 --> 00:02:13,132
I can't kill an animal!
46
00:02:13,199 --> 00:02:16,269
But I'll knock an animal the
Fuck out!!
47
00:02:16,336 --> 00:02:17,470
[ gun cocks ]
[ gunfire ]
48
00:02:17,537 --> 00:02:21,474
[ screams ]
Is that really necessary?
49
00:02:21,541 --> 00:02:23,209
[ zap! ]
[ mooing ]
50
00:02:23,276 --> 00:02:24,811
[ gunfire ]
[ grunts ]
51
00:02:24,878 --> 00:02:27,013
[ mooing ]
Quickly! Eat this burger!
52
00:02:27,079 --> 00:02:29,949
It's the only way to avoid
Vegetarian future and change the
53
00:02:30,016 --> 00:02:30,450
Timeline.
54
00:02:30,517 --> 00:02:31,050
I can't!
55
00:02:31,117 --> 00:02:31,985
Trust me!
56
00:02:32,051 --> 00:02:33,553
I can't!!
57
00:02:33,620 --> 00:02:35,188
Time-out, guys. T.O.!
58
00:02:35,255 --> 00:02:36,856
I want to be real clear on this.
59
00:02:36,923 --> 00:02:39,559
You would die to avoid
Compromising your vegetarian
60
00:02:39,626 --> 00:02:40,293
Principles?
61
00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:41,661
Yeah, yeah, I would!
62
00:02:41,728 --> 00:02:43,228
Even if it means I die, too.
63
00:02:43,296 --> 00:02:46,232
Well, I mean, I-it's the
Principle of the thing.
64
00:02:46,299 --> 00:02:48,134
[ mooing ]
And consequently, all human
65
00:02:48,201 --> 00:02:48,902
Beings on earth?
66
00:02:48,968 --> 00:02:50,136
What do you want me to say?!
67
00:02:50,203 --> 00:02:52,171
I want you to admit it's not
About meat.
68
00:02:52,238 --> 00:02:55,875
You're actually just a
Narcissist and a contrarian, and
69
00:02:55,942 --> 00:02:59,245
Being a vegetarian is about
Setting yourself apart in order
70
00:02:59,312 --> 00:03:01,514
To feel superior to the rest of
Us!
71
00:03:01,581 --> 00:03:03,750
I -- I -- I -- fine.
72
00:03:03,816 --> 00:03:04,951
Give me the fucking burger.
73
00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:05,518
Mmm.
74
00:03:05,585 --> 00:03:07,520
[ zap! ]
[ mooing ]
75
00:03:07,587 --> 00:03:08,688
You did it!
76
00:03:08,755 --> 00:03:10,456
You saved the human race!
77
00:03:10,523 --> 00:03:14,127
Oh, but I don't feel special
And superior anymore.
78
00:03:14,193 --> 00:03:17,163
I'm sure you'll find that
Thing that makes you feel
79
00:03:17,230 --> 00:03:18,865
Special again, katie.
80
00:03:21,768 --> 00:03:24,603
What were you thinking,
Sabrina, using your magic to
81
00:03:24,671 --> 00:03:26,039
Turn harvey's hair purple?
82
00:03:26,105 --> 00:03:28,107
Here's a better question,
Aunt hilda.
83
00:03:28,174 --> 00:03:30,877
If you know magic, why are you
Still fat?
84
00:03:30,944 --> 00:03:34,547
[ harp music plays ]
Season-one callback, jerks!
85
00:03:34,614 --> 00:03:35,982
Whoo-hoo!
86
00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:37,150
[ smack! ]
[ cat howls ]
87
00:03:37,216 --> 00:03:39,852
Both: I feel the need, the
Need for...
88
00:03:39,918 --> 00:03:40,520
Speed!
89
00:03:40,587 --> 00:03:41,521
Dick!
90
00:03:41,588 --> 00:03:42,889
Eh, did you just say "Dick"?
91
00:03:42,956 --> 00:03:45,358
No, I thought you said
"Dick."
92
00:03:45,425 --> 00:03:48,561
[ offenbach's "The galop"
Plays ]
93
00:03:48,628 --> 00:03:50,563
[ zip! ]
[ crash! ]
94
00:03:50,630 --> 00:03:53,366
[ screech! ]
Meep-meep!
95
00:03:53,433 --> 00:03:57,170
[ zip! ]
[ foster's "Old folks at home"
96
00:03:57,236 --> 00:03:59,105
Plays ]
[ ding! ]
97
00:04:08,648 --> 00:04:11,184
[ dong! ]
[ clatter! ]
98
00:04:11,250 --> 00:04:17,824
[ rip! ]
[ rustle! ]
99
00:04:17,890 --> 00:04:21,995
[ thud! ]
[ chopin's "Marche funébre"
100
00:04:22,060 --> 00:04:24,831
Plays ]
[ voice breaking ] Meep.
101
00:04:24,897 --> 00:04:28,034
Meep-meep.
102
00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:32,438
[ creak! ]
[ crash! ]
103
00:04:32,505 --> 00:04:35,441
[ whoosh! ]
[ sizzle! ]
104
00:04:35,508 --> 00:04:41,114
[ thud! ]
[ upbeat music plays ]
105
00:04:41,180 --> 00:04:43,049
And now back to...
106
00:04:43,282 --> 00:04:45,818
Hey, evie, want to go out
With me on friday?
107
00:04:45,885 --> 00:04:48,988
[ ting! ]
Eh...Pass.
108
00:04:49,055 --> 00:04:51,624
[ laughter ]
[ muffled ] V.E.N.O.M. Will
109
00:04:51,691 --> 00:04:54,060
Never suspect that this ordinary
Gas station is really the
110
00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:56,629
Headquarters of our new
High-tech crime-fighting team,
111
00:04:56,696 --> 00:04:57,830
M.A.S.K.
112
00:04:57,897 --> 00:04:59,232
I can't hear a word he's
Saying.
113
00:04:59,298 --> 00:05:00,199
Gloria, can you hear matt?
114
00:05:00,266 --> 00:05:01,601
[ muffled ] Did you just call
Me fat?
115
00:05:01,668 --> 00:05:04,303
Okay, I know they look cool,
But there's no need to wear
116
00:05:04,370 --> 00:05:04,971
These inside.
117
00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:06,406
Come on. Masks off.
118
00:05:06,472 --> 00:05:07,674
Hey! Anyone here?!
119
00:05:07,740 --> 00:05:09,809
I think your -- your pump's
Broken!
120
00:05:09,876 --> 00:05:12,178
Now, I don't want to alarm
Anybody, but the agents of
121
00:05:12,245 --> 00:05:14,580
V.E.N.O.M. Already have their
Acronym figured out.
122
00:05:14,647 --> 00:05:15,915
They're really up our asses.
123
00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:17,517
I'd like to get up gloria's
Ass.
124
00:05:17,582 --> 00:05:18,484
What did you say?
125
00:05:18,551 --> 00:05:19,819
I said I hate v.E.N.O.M.!
126
00:05:19,886 --> 00:05:20,687
No, you didn't.
127
00:05:20,753 --> 00:05:24,991
You misheard me because of my
Mask.
128
00:05:25,058 --> 00:05:26,492
Hey, buddy! Get a move on!
129
00:05:26,559 --> 00:05:28,494
Well, it's not my fault, so
Lay off!
130
00:05:28,561 --> 00:05:30,430
Is he paying by check or
Something?
131
00:05:30,496 --> 00:05:33,199
Look, I can't find an
Attendant, so what do you want
132
00:05:33,266 --> 00:05:33,933
Me to do?!
133
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,703
Mobile-attack...Serial
Killers!
134
00:05:36,769 --> 00:05:38,104
Like we'll murder v.E.N.O.M.'s
Ass!
135
00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:39,172
You're not even trying!
136
00:05:39,238 --> 00:05:41,340
What if we just call
Ourselves h.E.L.M.E.T. -- the
137
00:05:41,407 --> 00:05:43,976
Heroic, elite legion making...
138
00:05:44,043 --> 00:05:45,778
Elite...Tacos.
139
00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:47,113
[ sirens wailing ]
Uh-oh!
140
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:48,715
It sounds like v.E.N.O.M.'s onto
Us.
141
00:05:48,781 --> 00:05:50,116
Bruce...You know what to do.
142
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:52,118
Why's the freaking open sign
On?
143
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:54,887
I don't even think this is a
Functioning pump!
144
00:05:54,954 --> 00:05:57,623
Here's my comment card, you
Fuckers
145
00:05:57,690 --> 00:06:00,226
Say hello to miles mayhem...
146
00:06:00,293 --> 00:06:01,294
In hell!
147
00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:07,233
[ gunfire, screaming ]
I just wanted a tank of gas!
148
00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:09,836
Oh, these are civilians.
149
00:06:09,902 --> 00:06:12,071
Think we better get used to
Wearing these masks.
150
00:06:12,138 --> 00:06:13,606
The forces of h.E.L.M.E.T.
151
00:06:13,673 --> 00:06:15,007
Were never here.
152
00:06:15,074 --> 00:06:16,642
Talk! Talk, damn you!
153
00:06:16,709 --> 00:06:18,444
I ain't saying nothin'!
154
00:06:18,511 --> 00:06:19,579
Get my lawyer!
155
00:06:19,645 --> 00:06:22,582
[ clunk! Clunk! Clunk! ]
[ squeak! Wiggle! ]
156
00:06:22,648 --> 00:06:25,184
[ whack! ]
No! Aah! Ow! Ow! All right!
157
00:06:25,251 --> 00:06:27,587
The body's buried near the
River, west of town!
158
00:06:27,653 --> 00:06:29,155
Good job, officer pixar lamp!
159
00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:32,592
[ sproing! ]
Thwip, thwip!
160
00:06:32,658 --> 00:06:34,994
Thwip, thwip...
161
00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:36,996
Smash!
162
00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:38,798
Smash...
163
00:06:38,865 --> 00:06:42,368
[ shing! ]
[ shing! ]
164
00:06:42,435 --> 00:06:46,606
[ rhythmic clacking ]
[ steel-drumming ]
165
00:06:46,672 --> 00:06:49,642
[ "Stomp"-esque rhythm plays ]
Excelsior!
166
00:06:49,709 --> 00:06:52,678
[ music stops ]
Hey, that's called "Character
167
00:06:52,745 --> 00:06:54,380
Branding," true believers!
168
00:06:54,447 --> 00:06:55,481
I invente it!
169
00:06:55,548 --> 00:06:58,017
[ chuckling ] Um, is that
Really --
170
00:06:58,084 --> 00:07:01,454
I said I invented it!
171
00:07:01,521 --> 00:07:02,555
Pull over, boy.
172
00:07:02,622 --> 00:07:05,324
Always in search of the
Perfect ingredients for our
173
00:07:05,391 --> 00:07:07,894
Gourmet brand of
Orville redenbacher popcorn!
174
00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:11,230
Once a corn man, always a corn
Man, huh, grandpa orville?
175
00:07:11,297 --> 00:07:14,600
Once a second banana, always
A second banana, gary.
176
00:07:14,667 --> 00:07:17,336
[ chuckles ]
Now stop this car.
177
00:07:17,403 --> 00:07:20,072
How's that corn lookin',
Grandpa?
178
00:07:20,139 --> 00:07:20,673
Wet.
179
00:07:20,740 --> 00:07:22,141
[ growls ]
[ trickle! ]
180
00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:29,182
Sorry, son.
181
00:07:29,248 --> 00:07:38,524
At my age, it takes a while to
Turn off the spigot.
182
00:07:38,591 --> 00:07:40,359
[ zip! ]
Now, what are you doing in the
183
00:07:40,426 --> 00:07:42,128
Middle of a cornfield all by
Yourself?
184
00:07:42,195 --> 00:07:44,797
[ click! ]
The outsiders will be
185
00:07:44,864 --> 00:07:48,134
Sacrificed to the thing that
Dwells among the stalks!
186
00:07:48,201 --> 00:07:50,436
[ cheering ]
Son, you've got a choice --
187
00:07:50,503 --> 00:07:53,506
Either let us go or I'm gonna
Tie this bow tie around your
188
00:07:53,573 --> 00:07:55,474
Cock right before I cut it
Off.
189
00:07:55,541 --> 00:07:56,808
Foolish old man!
190
00:07:56,876 --> 00:08:00,346
As long as I serve the thing
That dwells among the stalks, I
191
00:08:00,413 --> 00:08:01,814
Shall live forever!
192
00:08:01,881 --> 00:08:03,115
Live forever, ah?
193
00:08:03,182 --> 00:08:06,953
That sure would come in handy if
The octogenarian face of a
194
00:08:07,019 --> 00:08:09,222
Worldwide corporation ever died.
195
00:08:09,288 --> 00:08:13,559
You ever try and re-animate
Me, boy, I'll rip your nuts off
196
00:08:13,626 --> 00:08:15,061
From beyond the grave!
197
00:08:15,127 --> 00:08:17,396
[ click! ]
What are we gonna do,
198
00:08:17,463 --> 00:08:18,331
Grandpa?
199
00:08:18,397 --> 00:08:20,233
We're trapped in the cornfield
With a demon!
200
00:08:20,299 --> 00:08:21,267
No, gary.
201
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:24,470
That demon's trapped in a
Cornfield with me.
202
00:08:24,537 --> 00:08:27,473
[ click! ]
Ow! Get it out, grandpa!
203
00:08:27,540 --> 00:08:31,110
[ screams ]
[ splat! ]
204
00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:34,280
[ ting! ]
Pop pop, mother fucker
205
00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:41,087
[ whoosh! ]
[ howling ]
206
00:08:41,153 --> 00:08:43,489
I'm a man of my word, cyrus.
207
00:08:43,556 --> 00:08:46,125
[ shing! ]
Oh, n-o-o-o-o!
208
00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:47,927
[ slice! ]
[ click! ]
209
00:08:47,994 --> 00:08:50,296
[ pop! ]
[ pop! ]
210
00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:56,636
[ pop! ]
[ upbeat music plays ]
211
00:08:56,702 --> 00:08:57,436
Hey, there.
212
00:08:57,503 --> 00:08:59,005
How'd you like to --
Ew, get lost.
213
00:08:59,071 --> 00:09:00,139
Hey, there.
214
00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:02,108
How'd you like to --
I thought you were into
215
00:09:02,174 --> 00:09:02,575
Spoons.
216
00:09:02,642 --> 00:09:03,876
I go both ways.
217
00:09:03,943 --> 00:09:07,046
And finally, joes,
"Don't ask, don't tell" has been
218
00:09:07,113 --> 00:09:08,180
Abolished.
219
00:09:08,247 --> 00:09:10,983
So, chuckles, if there's
Anything you'd like to tell us,
220
00:09:11,050 --> 00:09:12,385
I'm askin'!
221
00:09:12,451 --> 00:09:14,320
Oh, roadblock, you look
Different.
222
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:17,089
Duke, I don't know what's
Done me this harm!
223
00:09:17,156 --> 00:09:19,992
I woke up this mornin', me and
Flint had switched arms!
224
00:09:20,059 --> 00:09:22,228
I can't touch lady jaye --
Not with these!
225
00:09:22,295 --> 00:09:24,063
Oh, guys, I think I might be a
Racist.
226
00:09:24,130 --> 00:09:26,065
Snake eyes, what happened to
You?
227
00:09:26,132 --> 00:09:28,801
You look like someone tried to
Paint you like spider-man, then
228
00:09:28,868 --> 00:09:30,002
Tossed you in the grass!
229
00:09:30,069 --> 00:09:32,104
Has this happened to anyone
Else?
230
00:09:32,171 --> 00:09:33,139
Scarlett?
231
00:09:33,205 --> 00:09:34,740
C-cover yourself, woman!
232
00:09:34,807 --> 00:09:35,942
Huh? Oh!!
233
00:09:36,008 --> 00:09:38,244
I don't know how cobra's
Doing this, but I'm damn well
234
00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:39,145
Gonna find out!
235
00:09:39,211 --> 00:09:39,946
Yo, joe!
236
00:09:40,012 --> 00:09:41,180
Cobra?!
237
00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:43,449
Put your checkbooks away 'cause
This one's coming out of your
238
00:09:43,516 --> 00:09:44,684
Ass!
239
00:09:44,750 --> 00:09:47,186
Whatever voodoo you're using
To mangle us, we've had enough!
240
00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:48,988
My helmet's not made to come
Off!
241
00:09:49,055 --> 00:09:51,924
I look like ebert under here,
And not ebert in his prime!
242
00:09:51,991 --> 00:09:54,026
And what are you so surprised
About?
243
00:09:54,093 --> 00:09:57,330
[ mumbling ]
We removed this from
244
00:09:57,396 --> 00:09:58,931
Dr. Mindbender's mouth!
245
00:09:58,998 --> 00:10:00,299
What's going on here?
246
00:10:00,366 --> 00:10:03,135
I want to see cobra commander
Now!
247
00:10:03,202 --> 00:10:07,206
[ strained ] I -- I couldn't
Stop it -- a giant hand from the
248
00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:12,445
Heavens taping me to what looked
Like enormous, brightly colored
249
00:10:12,511 --> 00:10:13,379
Dynamite!
250
00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:15,047
What kind of nonsense are you
Blathering?
251
00:10:15,114 --> 00:10:17,116
Whoa! Oh, what did this?
252
00:10:17,183 --> 00:10:21,854
We're nothing, you see,
Playthings that have bored our
253
00:10:21,921 --> 00:10:23,022
Fickle god.
254
00:10:23,089 --> 00:10:25,224
It's judgment day!
255
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:28,527
[ hisses ]
Duke! I'm scared!
256
00:10:28,594 --> 00:10:30,196
Don't worry, scarlett.
257
00:10:30,262 --> 00:10:34,033
We'll find whoever -- or
Whatever -- has done this to us!
258
00:10:34,100 --> 00:10:39,038
[ whirring ]
[ as g.I. Joe ] Oh, no!
259
00:10:39,105 --> 00:10:43,409
Please don't take my face -- my
Beautiful face!
260
00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:48,247
[ bang! ]
Got ya, you massive
261
00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:49,348
Abomination!
262
00:10:49,415 --> 00:10:50,983
Yo, joe!
263
00:10:51,050 --> 00:10:52,385
Uh, did we just kill a kid?
264
00:10:52,451 --> 00:10:55,654
I mean, yo, joe, but I think
That was a kid.
265
00:10:55,721 --> 00:10:57,857
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk
266
00:10:57,923 --> 00:11:00,092
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
Bawk bawk ♪
267
00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:02,128
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk
268
00:11:02,194 --> 00:11:04,196
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
Bawk bawk ♪
269
00:11:04,263 --> 00:11:06,198
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk
270
00:11:06,265 --> 00:11:08,601
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
Bawk bawk ♪
271
00:11:08,667 --> 00:11:10,269
Ba-gawk! Bawk.
19236
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