Original subtitles

[ thunder crashing ]

[ drilling, sawing ]

[ electricity crackling ]

>> it's alive!

>> and you are one word away

From winning.

Here is your final password.

>> okay, this is something

Really small.

>> a hobbit?

>> uh, no.

Um... It gets hot.

It burns things.

>> I know... smaug the dragon.

>> no!

Forget it. Pass.

>> you shall not pass.

>> yes, pass!

Pass!

>> you shall not pass.

>> pass, damn it!

>> you shall not pass!

[ laughs ] I'm just kidding.

I'm an all-seeing wizard, and

The word is "Toaster."

[ ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! ]

[ weakly ] I love you all so

Much.

Grandma, don't go!

It's okay, child.

I'm gonna be with jesus.

I'm comin', lord.

[ shouts ]

>> aah!

Hey, hey, hey, man!

What's the deal?

>> what?

Just doin' the old jobbarino.

She was ascending to heaven

Peacefully!

And you just...

reaped the [bleep] Out of

Her!

Yeah, buddy!

>> dad!

Why do we even need a grim

Reaper?

He's not in the bible!

Yes, I am.

>> uh, no.

There's a personification of

Death in the bible, but he sure

Doesn't look like some [bleep]

Cartoon character.

Well, I suppose jesus has a

Point.

Gladys, what do you think?

Oh, it is not my place to

Judge, lord.

Oh, stop fronting, gladys!

Now, now, gladys.

This is no time for modesty.

I kind of think dying is

Scary enough without a robed

Skeleton with a knife popping

Out at you.

Thank you!

>> fine.

I'm not sticking around if I'm

Not wanted.

But I have one more thing to

Say.

[ shouts ] Ha ha!

You can't do that!

>> did it.

You can't die in heaven!

Dad, tell him!

Well, actually, you can.

You see, if you die in heaven,

You go to... Superheaven.

>> what?!

Superheaven is awesome!

Whoo!

Whoo-hoo!

What happened to your baby,

Precious?

I ate my baby.

I ate all my babies!

[ roaring ]

>> no!

[ roaring continues ]

Babies!

[ roaring continues ]

No army!

[ roaring continues ]

Where's my babies?!

Yep, that's pretty much

"Precious."

wow, that doesn't sound

Oscar-worthy at all.

That's how I felt!

I guess I don't have to rent

It.

>> mentos!

The freshmaker!

Okay, you boys go play

Cowboys and indians, and I'll be

Right back.

Okay, mom!

[ grunts ]

[ gasping ]

Don't fight it.

Don't fight it.

[ straining ] Why?

>> yeah.

Well, come on.

Let's get him in the oven.

Honey, slow down.

Slow down, please.

No, I gotta go fast!

Gotta go fast!

On the way there, drilling,

Drilling, drilling.

Oh, gosh! It's coming out!

It's coming out!

No, don't...

it's coming out all over the

Place!

Ugh, and it just keeps coming

Out!

I can't... I can't stop it!

Oh, dear!

I went too fast!

Tony, it's not stopping!

Don't get it on that seagull!

[ seagulls crying ]

my name is dora the explorer.

And I fear this mountain...

Will be my grave.

A snowman!

I love snowmen!

Is there anything you don't

Love, boots?

Tell her, man.

Tell her her hair looks like

javier bardem in "No country

for old men."

this is your chance, boots.

Don't puss out.

Nope!

you pussy.

[ dramatic music plays ]

swiper, no swiping!

Swiper, no swiping!

Swiper, no swiping!

B-but, dora, I'm dying!

I have severe altitude

Sickness!

See this face?

>> y-yes?

This is my "Not giving a

[bleep]" face.

Which way should I go?

[ clicks, dings ]

Right!

Good choice!

[ dissonant beep ]

Huh? No.

I'm pretty sure you said this

Way.

[ dissonant beep ]

Oh, you didn't?

[ dissonant beep ]

Well, maybe in just this

One instance I could ignore

Your advice?

[ dissonant beep ]

>> fine!

[ panting ]

Here's another choice for you.

Guess which finger.

I hope you guessed the one that

Means [bleep] You!

Dora! Boots!

>> diego!

I'm coming, too!

[ crack ]

W-what was that?

[ cracking ]

Dora!

Where is your safety harness?

Payback's a bitch.

>> help!

I'm coming, diego!

[ bird screeches ]

I rescued some condors once!

Are you here to return the

Fav... ow!

Why didn't we learn from the

Crocodile hunter?

Dora?!

Aah, I can't... Hang... On!

It's okay, dora.

It's time for me to "Go, diego,

Go..."

To heaven!

Diegoooooooooo!

[ pants ]

We did it!

[ band plays upbeat tune ]

[ music stops ]

[ gasps ]

I'm an explorer.

Food is food.

[ trembling ] Help... Me.

Got you something.

[ gun clicks ]

[ gun clicks ]

you bitch.

[ trembling ] Reaper, no

Reaping.

Reaper, no reaping.

Reaper, no...

[ shouts, chuckles ]

[ laughs nervously ]

Well, mr. Fasolo, it looks like

You've developed a kidney stone.

You shall not pass!

Bruce willis starred in

"The fifth element."

Then he starred in

"The sixth sense."

Now he's pushing the boundaries

One step further.

Bruce willis in...

"The seventh vowel."

everyone knows "A," "E," "I,"

"O," "U," and sometimes "Y," but

There's another vowel out there.

It's ughhrt.

Ughhrt.

>> uhrt.

>> ughhrt.

>> uhrgz?

>> ughhrt.

Wughrnt.

Yippee-ki-yay, mother ughhrt!

Coming this summer to a

Theater near urghhrt.

♪ Flying car, flying car ♪

♪ love cruisin' 'round

In my flyin' car ♪

ugh, herman, you have less

Than 1/4 tank.

I'll drive on the regular

Road when it's 1/8 of a tank.

You will not take that risk.

There are children in this car!

♪ Flying car, flying car ♪

♪ bitch must have forgot who

Paid for this flying car ♪

I can hear you.

Eat, and you will be as god

Is... knowing good and evil.

[ inhales deeply ]

I don't know...

just do it, you pussy.

[ chomping ]

Oh, my god.

We're... Naked!

Yes, your nakedness is

Shameful!

Cover yourselves!

I'm sorry.

We... we didn't know!

Now you see the world as I

Do!

Wait, you knew we were naked

This whole time and didn't say

Anything?

Well, you weren't supposed to

Know!

Yeah, we get that.

But you did know.

My [bleep] Just swinging on out

Here!

Thanks for the heads-up.

Let's move on.

Come on, god!

We had a conversation while I

Was jogging yesterday.

These things must have been

Flying everywhere.

No wonder you were distracted.

Well, I work in mysterious

Ways.

Hey, god, were you checking

Out my girl's tits?

>> uh...

[ thunder crashes ]

Get out! Get out of the garden.

You're both banned.

Yeah, we busted him.

Yeah, you enjoy childbirth,

Bitch!

Okay, sir.

Just sit back, cross your arms

Over your chest, and wait for

The water.

I know what to do, stupid!

Ow! Oh, god!

Why is there no water!

Ow!

Who's next?!

>> shhh!

Warnah bwoathas standards and

Pwactices says I'm not awowwed

To use a gun anymore.

That's my wivewihood.

I'll show them.

[ laughing ]

[ sobbing ]

you shall not pa...

[ horn blares ]

[ circus music plays ]

[ ah-woogah! ]

[ ah-woogah! ]

[ circus music slows ]

[ children screaming ]

[ truck horn blares ]

[ horn blares ]

[ giggles ]

[ sobbing ]

>> whew!

Nothing funny about this.

[ horn honks ]

I know your father loved you

Very much.

[ crying ]

[ water splashes ]

[ gasps ]

>> ♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk

Bawk bawk ♪

♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk

Bawk bawk ♪

♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk

Bawk bawk ♪

Ba-gawk! Bawk.