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WEBVTT
00:00:04.971 --> 00:00:08.942 line:20%
[ thunder crashing ]
00:00:09.008 --> 00:00:10.877 line:20%
[ drilling, sawing ]
00:00:16.049 --> 00:00:18.051 line:20%
[ electricity crackling ]
00:00:18.118 --> 00:00:19.886 line:20%
>> it's alive!
00:00:28.895 --> 00:00:30.764 line:20%
[ laughing evilly ]
00:00:38.204 --> 00:00:39.806
can you hear me? Hello?
00:00:39.873 --> 00:00:40.440 position:20%
Hello?
00:00:40.507 --> 00:00:41.941
Oh, okay, there you are.
00:00:42.008 --> 00:00:43.143
[bleep] Hello? Hello?
00:00:43.209 --> 00:00:44.010
Are you there?
00:00:44.077 --> 00:00:44.778 position:20%
Damn it!
00:00:44.844 --> 00:00:46.312
I swear, I would blow a zebra if
00:00:46.379 --> 00:00:47.814
I could get a cellphone that
00:00:47.881 --> 00:00:49.849
Never drops the signal!
00:00:49.916 --> 00:00:50.750
[ laughs ]
00:00:50.817 --> 00:00:52.152
I have heard your wish.
00:00:52.218 --> 00:00:54.854
I am a wish-granting zebra.
00:00:54.921 --> 00:00:55.755
Seriously?!
00:00:55.822 --> 00:00:56.990
I-I can't believe it.
00:00:57.056 --> 00:00:58.625
So, you can make my cellphone
00:00:58.691 --> 00:00:59.526
Work anywhere?
00:00:59.592 --> 00:01:02.495
I don't know. Can I?
00:01:02.562 --> 00:01:04.898
[ gagging ]
00:01:04.964 --> 00:01:06.833
oh, come on, it wasn't that
00:01:06.900 --> 00:01:07.567 position:20%
Bad.
00:01:07.634 --> 00:01:09.235
Think of all the calls you can
00:01:09.302 --> 00:01:09.969 position:20%
Make now.
00:01:10.036 --> 00:01:11.471
Yeah, I guess that's true.
00:01:11.538 --> 00:01:12.806
Hey, you going west?
00:01:12.872 --> 00:01:14.474
Could you give me a ride to the
00:01:14.541 --> 00:01:15.175 position:20%
Palisades?
00:01:15.241 --> 00:01:16.142
Uh, I-I guess.
00:01:16.209 --> 00:01:17.076
Hey. Hey, honey.
00:01:17.143 --> 00:01:18.578
Yeah, no, I'm just on the way
00:01:18.645 --> 00:01:19.112 position:20%
Over...
00:01:19.179 --> 00:01:19.846 position:20%
[ beep ]
00:01:19.913 --> 00:01:21.414
Hello? Hey, what's the deal?!
00:01:21.481 --> 00:01:23.149
Well, I only fixed your
00:01:23.216 --> 00:01:23.783 position:20%
Phone.
00:01:23.850 --> 00:01:25.118
I can't fix theirs.
00:01:25.185 --> 00:01:27.020
Okay, I-I guess that makes
00:01:27.086 --> 00:01:28.721 position:20%
Sense.
00:01:28.788 --> 00:01:29.923
Wait a second!
00:01:29.989 --> 00:01:32.325
[ tires screech ]
00:01:32.392 --> 00:01:33.159
what's up, pal?
00:01:33.226 --> 00:01:34.394
I was talking to my wife.
00:01:34.461 --> 00:01:35.128 position:20%
>> okay.
00:01:35.195 --> 00:01:36.205
She was on the phone in our
00:01:36.229 --> 00:01:36.796 position:20%
house!
00:01:36.863 --> 00:01:37.997
That's a landline!
00:01:38.064 --> 00:01:39.165
Is that right?
00:01:39.232 --> 00:01:40.567
Well, this is my stop.
00:01:40.633 --> 00:01:41.901
What the hell?!
00:01:41.968 --> 00:01:43.670
You're not a zebra at all!
00:01:43.736 --> 00:01:45.572
Nope, just a horny little
00:01:45.638 --> 00:01:47.574
Horse with some smoke bombs to
00:01:47.640 --> 00:01:48.575 position:20%
Spare!
00:01:48.641 --> 00:01:49.642 position:20%
Poof!
00:01:49.709 --> 00:01:50.777 position:20%
[ laughs ]
00:01:50.844 --> 00:01:52.124 line:20%
>> veringular wireless... so you
00:01:52.178 --> 00:01:53.298 line:20%
Don't have to blow a magical
00:01:53.346 --> 00:01:54.380 position:20% line:20%
Zebra.
00:01:54.447 --> 00:01:55.491
What do you want for your
00:01:55.515 --> 00:01:56.282
Last meal, anderson?
00:01:56.349 --> 00:01:57.393
I want to eat your wife's
00:01:57.417 --> 00:01:58.351 position:20%
[bleep]
00:01:58.418 --> 00:02:01.287
damn it! Not again!
00:02:01.354 --> 00:02:01.955 position:20%
[ beep ]
00:02:02.021 --> 00:02:03.021
Honey, it's me.
00:02:03.056 --> 00:02:04.724
Can you head over to the jail
00:02:04.791 --> 00:02:05.892
With your lasagna?
00:02:05.959 --> 00:02:06.826
Great. Thanks.
00:02:06.893 --> 00:02:07.594 position:20%
[bleep]
00:02:07.660 --> 00:02:09.229
Can we replace the batteries in
00:02:09.295 --> 00:02:11.431
That smoke detector?
00:02:11.498 --> 00:02:12.499
[ siren wailing ]
00:02:12.565 --> 00:02:13.900
oh, damn it... chips!
00:02:13.967 --> 00:02:17.937
[ wailing continues ]
00:02:18.004 --> 00:02:19.205
license and registration,
00:02:19.272 --> 00:02:19.672 position:20%
Please.
00:02:19.739 --> 00:02:20.306 position:20%
>> ow!
00:02:20.373 --> 00:02:21.241
Wow, you are freaking
00:02:21.307 --> 00:02:21.808 position:20%
Delicious!
00:02:21.875 --> 00:02:22.509
[ guns cock ]
00:02:22.575 --> 00:02:24.377
hey, hey, easy, pal!
00:02:24.444 --> 00:02:25.678
[ tires screech ]
00:02:25.745 --> 00:02:27.180
you boys need a little
00:02:27.247 --> 00:02:27.780 position:20%
Backup?
00:02:27.847 --> 00:02:29.082
Who's the new guy?
00:02:29.148 --> 00:02:30.850
Name's pringle.
00:02:30.917 --> 00:02:32.385
Something a little too
00:02:32.452 --> 00:02:33.553
Perfect about you.
00:02:33.620 --> 00:02:35.321
Something doesn't stack up.
00:02:35.388 --> 00:02:36.990
Oh, I stack up.
00:02:37.056 --> 00:02:38.258
I stack up real nice.
00:02:38.324 --> 00:02:38.858 position:20%
>> bye!
00:02:38.925 --> 00:02:39.926
[ tires screech ]
00:02:39.993 --> 00:02:42.262
Not so fast, buddy.
00:02:42.328 --> 00:02:43.796
[ tires screech ]
00:02:43.863 --> 00:02:45.732
wow, that was real ranch
00:02:45.798 --> 00:02:46.966
Style, pringle!
00:02:47.033 --> 00:02:48.835
You know it.
00:02:48.902 --> 00:02:50.303
And then he just roped the
00:02:50.370 --> 00:02:50.937 position:20%
Guy.
00:02:51.004 --> 00:02:52.004
It was beautiful, chief.
00:02:52.038 --> 00:02:53.406
Yeah, but it went against
00:02:53.473 --> 00:02:54.507
Department protocol.
00:02:54.574 --> 00:02:55.942
We had to can him.
00:02:56.009 --> 00:02:58.244
[ muffled ] I'm a good cop!
00:02:58.311 --> 00:03:00.313
♪ Whoa ♪
00:03:00.380 --> 00:03:01.881
♪ I'm crushing ♪
00:03:01.948 --> 00:03:03.516
♪ on a crush ♪
00:03:03.583 --> 00:03:05.985
♪ bicycles, lemonade, game boy ♪
00:03:06.052 --> 00:03:06.819
♪ game boy ♪
00:03:06.886 --> 00:03:08.688
♪ crushing so hard ♪
00:03:08.755 --> 00:03:09.689
♪ so hard, girl ♪
00:03:09.756 --> 00:03:10.957
♪ and I like skittle,
00:03:11.024 --> 00:03:11.658
Sk-skittles ♪
00:03:11.724 --> 00:03:12.926
♪ skittle, sk-skittles ♪
00:03:12.992 --> 00:03:13.626
and cut!
00:03:13.693 --> 00:03:15.128
This is the edgiest thing I've
00:03:15.194 --> 00:03:15.995
Ever worked on!
00:03:16.062 --> 00:03:16.763 position:20%
>> edgy?
00:03:16.829 --> 00:03:18.398
Yeah, young lesbian proud of
00:03:18.464 --> 00:03:20.233
Who she is, singing about it...
00:03:20.300 --> 00:03:20.900 position:20%
Awesome!
00:03:20.967 --> 00:03:23.436
That's a little boy.
00:03:23.503 --> 00:03:25.772
[ thud, feedback ]
00:03:25.838 --> 00:03:27.941
[ animals chattering ]
00:03:28.007 --> 00:03:28.942 position:20%
[ sloop! ]
00:03:29.008 --> 00:03:30.910
ow, my [bleep] Back!
00:03:30.977 --> 00:03:32.412
No, d-d-don't touch me!
00:03:32.478 --> 00:03:34.547
Just go get someone, sharon!
00:03:34.614 --> 00:03:36.449
Autobots, earth is our home
00:03:36.516 --> 00:03:37.083 position:20%
Now.
00:03:37.150 --> 00:03:38.484
As such, we should give
00:03:38.551 --> 00:03:40.053
Ourselves earthly names.
00:03:40.119 --> 00:03:41.220
Okay, I guess I'll be
00:03:41.287 --> 00:03:41.955 position:20%
Bumblebee.
00:03:42.021 --> 00:03:43.189
It's cute and nonthreatening.
00:03:43.256 --> 00:03:44.657
I enjoy the music I've heard
00:03:44.724 --> 00:03:46.059
Some of these earth cats play.
00:03:46.125 --> 00:03:47.560
I'll go by jazz.
00:03:47.627 --> 00:03:50.563
And I shall be optimus prime.
00:03:50.630 --> 00:03:51.630
Oh, really?
00:03:51.664 --> 00:03:52.332 position:20%
>> what?
00:03:52.398 --> 00:03:53.533
Optimus prime?
00:03:53.600 --> 00:03:54.934
I didn't call myself
00:03:55.001 --> 00:03:56.202
Maximus genitalia.
00:03:56.269 --> 00:03:57.770
But you know I'm the leader.
00:03:57.837 --> 00:03:59.339
Yeah, man, we do know, which
00:03:59.405 --> 00:04:00.940
Makes me wonder why I have to be
00:04:01.007 --> 00:04:02.508
Reminded every time we say your
00:04:02.575 --> 00:04:03.276 position:20%
Name.
00:04:03.343 --> 00:04:04.553
You know we all think you're
00:04:04.577 --> 00:04:05.211
Great, man.
00:04:05.278 --> 00:04:06.613
Who you trying to convince?
00:04:06.679 --> 00:04:09.349
[ echoing ] Convince, convince.
00:04:09.415 --> 00:04:11.150
Hey, dad, I got an "A" on my
00:04:11.217 --> 00:04:11.884 position:20%
Math test.
00:04:11.951 --> 00:04:12.952
Oh, good job,
00:04:13.019 --> 00:04:14.621
Incredibus disappointmentmax.
00:04:14.687 --> 00:04:16.422
They hand out football trophies
00:04:16.489 --> 00:04:17.824
For "'a' on math test"?
00:04:17.890 --> 00:04:18.625 position:20%
>> uh, no.
00:04:18.691 --> 00:04:20.560
Well, then transform and roll
00:04:20.627 --> 00:04:23.162
Out of my [bleep] Way!
00:04:23.229 --> 00:04:26.265
Oh. Oh, daddy.
00:04:26.332 --> 00:04:28.468
And now you know.
00:04:28.534 --> 00:04:30.169
Are you okay...
00:04:30.236 --> 00:04:32.038
Optimus prime?
00:04:32.105 --> 00:04:33.606
Oh, you sons of bitches.
00:04:33.673 --> 00:04:35.642
[ laughs ] Come here.
00:04:35.708 --> 00:04:36.809
Give it up, sinestro!
00:04:36.876 --> 00:04:37.877
Just turn yourself in!
00:04:37.944 --> 00:04:38.745
You know what?
00:04:38.811 --> 00:04:39.479 position:20%
I should!
00:04:39.545 --> 00:04:40.689
I should do that just to blow
00:04:40.713 --> 00:04:41.581
Your [bleep] Mind!
00:04:41.648 --> 00:04:42.582
Yeah, I dare you!
00:04:42.649 --> 00:04:43.783
You dare me to end our
00:04:43.850 --> 00:04:45.151
Decades-old rivalry on a dare?
00:04:45.218 --> 00:04:46.352
How would that even work?
00:04:46.419 --> 00:04:47.620
Just walk right into the
00:04:47.687 --> 00:04:49.055
Police station and tell them to
00:04:49.122 --> 00:04:49.622 position:20%
Cuff you.
00:04:49.689 --> 00:04:50.456 position:20%
>> aha!
00:04:50.523 --> 00:04:51.257 position:20%
>> aah!
00:04:51.324 --> 00:04:51.991 position:20%
[ crying ]
00:04:52.058 --> 00:04:52.759
oh, god!
00:04:52.825 --> 00:04:54.193
Oh, god, I-I meant to do
00:04:54.260 --> 00:04:54.927 position:20%
Handcuffs!
00:04:54.994 --> 00:04:55.828
Aah, my hands, aah!
00:04:55.895 --> 00:04:56.462
Oh, my god!
00:04:56.529 --> 00:04:57.363
Oh, god, I'm so sorry!
00:04:57.430 --> 00:04:58.264
Oh, god, I can't look!
00:04:58.331 --> 00:04:59.375
I can't... I got to bounce!
00:04:59.399 --> 00:05:00.066 position:20%
I'm sorry!
00:05:00.133 --> 00:05:00.967
I'll call 911 from the car, I
00:05:01.034 --> 00:05:01.968 position:20%
Swear!
00:05:02.035 --> 00:05:02.969 position:20%
[ ding! ]
00:05:03.036 --> 00:05:04.537
[ door closes, tires screech ]
00:05:04.604 --> 00:05:07.173
[ warble! ]
00:05:07.240 --> 00:05:08.875
welcome back to oa, home of
00:05:08.941 --> 00:05:10.309
The green lantern corps.
00:05:10.376 --> 00:05:11.044 position:20%
[ ding! ]
00:05:11.110 --> 00:05:12.345
I'm sorry, hal jordan, but we
00:05:12.412 --> 00:05:13.646
Cannot restore your hands.
00:05:13.713 --> 00:05:14.881
But power rings can do
00:05:14.947 --> 00:05:16.449
Anything given enough willpower!
00:05:16.516 --> 00:05:17.250
Oh, really?
00:05:17.316 --> 00:05:19.152
You wipe out cancer on earth?
00:05:19.218 --> 00:05:20.253 position:20%
>> well...
00:05:20.319 --> 00:05:21.020 position:20%
No!
00:05:21.087 --> 00:05:22.197
We feel for you, hal jordan,
00:05:22.221 --> 00:05:23.723
But you can no longer wield the
00:05:23.790 --> 00:05:24.390
Power ring.
00:05:24.457 --> 00:05:25.792
Having fingers is kind of a
00:05:25.858 --> 00:05:26.559
Prerequisite.
00:05:26.626 --> 00:05:28.294
Um, there is a... well, there
00:05:28.361 --> 00:05:29.862
[chuckles] There is one other
00:05:29.929 --> 00:05:31.597
Place I could wear a power ring.
00:05:31.664 --> 00:05:32.865
Like on a necklace?
00:05:32.932 --> 00:05:34.534
You'd never interface properly.
00:05:34.600 --> 00:05:35.301 position:20%
>> no.
00:05:35.368 --> 00:05:37.537
Another place, south o' the
00:05:37.603 --> 00:05:38.304 position:20%
Border.
00:05:38.371 --> 00:05:39.672
Jordan, are we talking about
00:05:39.739 --> 00:05:40.573
A [bleep] Ring?
00:05:40.640 --> 00:05:41.908
We are talking about a
00:05:41.974 --> 00:05:43.676
[bleep] Ring.
00:05:43.743 --> 00:05:45.244 position:20%
>> oh!
00:05:45.311 --> 00:05:46.779
Gee, buddy, did you consider
00:05:46.846 --> 00:05:47.714
A toe ring, maybe?
00:05:47.780 --> 00:05:49.282
Uh, how's a toe ring going to
00:05:49.348 --> 00:05:50.917
Fit on my penis?
00:05:50.983 --> 00:05:51.851 position:20%
Stupid!
00:05:51.918 --> 00:05:54.187
Wah, wah. Wah, wah, wah, wah.
00:05:54.253 --> 00:05:54.787 position:20%
Wah, wah.
00:05:54.854 --> 00:05:55.521
A new kid?
00:05:55.588 --> 00:05:56.989
Oh, boy, maybe he'll take over
00:05:57.056 --> 00:05:58.424
My position on the totem pole
00:05:58.491 --> 00:05:59.192
Around here.
00:05:59.258 --> 00:06:00.626
You'll always be the [bleep]
00:06:00.693 --> 00:06:01.794
Catcher, charlie brown!
00:06:01.861 --> 00:06:03.229
Well, whoever he is, he'll
00:06:03.296 --> 00:06:05.164
Never replace by sweet babboo!
00:06:05.231 --> 00:06:07.166
Oh, brother!
00:06:07.233 --> 00:06:08.233
Hey, everyone.
00:06:08.267 --> 00:06:10.737
My name is ren... ren mccormack.
00:06:10.803 --> 00:06:11.337
Beat it!
00:06:11.404 --> 00:06:11.804 position:20%
>> aah!
00:06:11.871 --> 00:06:12.538
Ooh, hello!
00:06:12.605 --> 00:06:13.873
You're just in time for our
00:06:13.940 --> 00:06:14.674
Dance rehearsal.
00:06:14.741 --> 00:06:15.975
We're practicing a number for
00:06:16.042 --> 00:06:17.677
Our christmas pageant.
00:06:17.744 --> 00:06:18.778
I love to dance!
00:06:18.845 --> 00:06:20.279
My last town banned dancing
00:06:20.346 --> 00:06:23.616 position:20%
Entirely.
00:06:23.683 --> 00:06:24.984
You might say dancing makes me
00:06:25.051 --> 00:06:29.589
Feel footloose and fancy free.
00:06:29.655 --> 00:06:30.655
Look, I'm kevin bacon's
00:06:30.690 --> 00:06:34.927
Character from "Footloose."
00:06:34.994 --> 00:06:36.629
and a-one and a-two.
00:06:36.696 --> 00:06:40.466
[ up-tempo music playing ]
00:06:40.533 --> 00:06:41.868
oh, my god, this is the worst
00:06:41.934 --> 00:06:43.035
Dancing I have ever seen.
00:06:43.102 --> 00:06:43.970
What do you mean?
00:06:44.036 --> 00:06:45.271
I'm sorry [bleep] Box, but
00:06:45.338 --> 00:06:45.838 position:20%
You're...
00:06:45.905 --> 00:06:46.639
it's pig-pen.
00:06:46.706 --> 00:06:47.173 position:20%
>> sorry.
00:06:47.240 --> 00:06:47.840
It's okay.
00:06:47.907 --> 00:06:49.075
You made a lateral error at
00:06:49.142 --> 00:06:49.842 position:20%
Best.
00:06:49.909 --> 00:06:50.919
You're just all repeating the
00:06:50.943 --> 00:06:52.211
Same move over and over again.
00:06:52.278 --> 00:06:53.513
I mean, what is this kid even
00:06:53.579 --> 00:06:54.847 position:20%
Doing?
00:06:54.914 --> 00:06:56.154
I couldn't think of a dance!
00:06:56.215 --> 00:06:56.749
I panicked!
00:06:56.816 --> 00:06:57.483
Sorry, guys.
00:06:57.550 --> 00:06:58.790
I got to get the [bleep] Out of
00:06:58.851 --> 00:06:59.519 position:20%
Here.
00:06:59.585 --> 00:07:00.386
I would rather move back to a
00:07:00.453 --> 00:07:02.054
Town with no dancing than stay
00:07:02.121 --> 00:07:03.055 position:20%
Here.
00:07:03.122 --> 00:07:04.791
And a-one and a-two.
00:07:04.857 --> 00:07:07.160
[ up-tempo music playing ]
00:07:07.226 --> 00:07:09.095
[ rock music playing ]
00:07:12.398 --> 00:07:15.568
♪ ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
00:07:15.635 --> 00:07:18.704
♪ ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
00:07:18.771 --> 00:07:20.006
♪ ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
00:07:20.072 --> 00:07:22.675 position:20%
♪ ahhhh ♪
00:07:22.742 --> 00:07:24.310
♪ I'm gonna fly so high ♪
00:07:24.377 --> 00:07:25.812
♪ gonna spread my wings ♪
00:07:25.878 --> 00:07:27.547
♪ flying through the heavens
00:07:27.613 --> 00:07:29.081
Where the angels sing ♪
00:07:29.148 --> 00:07:30.783
♪ nothing's stopping me now ♪
00:07:30.850 --> 00:07:32.251
♪ no dream is too big ♪
00:07:32.318 --> 00:07:33.686
♪ gonna save the day ♪
00:07:33.753 --> 00:07:35.588
♪ I can do anything ♪
00:07:35.655 --> 00:07:37.990
♪ I can do anything ♪
00:07:38.057 --> 00:07:39.892
[ machine-gun fire ]
00:07:39.959 --> 00:07:40.660
[ school bell rings ]
00:07:40.726 --> 00:07:42.028
good news, ren... turns out
00:07:42.094 --> 00:07:43.229
You can't outlaw dancing.
00:07:43.296 --> 00:07:44.297
It's unconstitutional.
00:07:44.363 --> 00:07:45.064
All right!
00:07:45.131 --> 00:07:46.432
Yeah, but then they passed a
00:07:46.499 --> 00:07:47.166 position:20%
New law.
00:07:47.233 --> 00:07:48.377
Now we have to use creationist
00:07:48.401 --> 00:07:48.935 position:20%
Textbooks.
00:07:49.001 --> 00:07:49.936
[ record scratches ]
00:07:50.002 --> 00:07:51.938 position:20%
>> rats!
00:07:52.004 --> 00:07:54.440
[ machine-gun fire ]
00:07:54.507 --> 00:07:55.141
[ laughs ]
00:07:55.208 --> 00:07:56.442
Bet that stupid junkyard dog
00:07:56.509 --> 00:07:57.243
Can't catch us!
00:07:57.310 --> 00:07:57.944
[ growls ]
00:07:58.010 --> 00:07:59.245
You're messing with the dog!
00:07:59.312 --> 00:07:59.979 position:20%
[ growls ]
00:08:00.046 --> 00:08:03.015
you died in 1998, dumb ass!
00:08:03.082 --> 00:08:04.082
[ groans ]
00:08:04.116 --> 00:08:06.085
[ angels vocalizing ]
00:08:06.152 --> 00:08:07.687
are you ready for more of
00:08:07.753 --> 00:08:09.222
Those hilarious bloopers?!
00:08:09.288 --> 00:08:10.723
Well, unfortunately, those
00:08:10.790 --> 00:08:12.258
Hilarious clips have to be
00:08:12.325 --> 00:08:13.860
Licensed, which costs money,
00:08:13.926 --> 00:08:15.528
Which is in short supply since
00:08:15.595 --> 00:08:17.330
Our c.P.A. Liquidated our assets
00:08:17.396 --> 00:08:18.898
And blew town to go feast on
00:08:18.965 --> 00:08:19.965
Thai schoolboys!
00:08:19.999 --> 00:08:20.733
[ canned laughter ]
00:08:20.800 --> 00:08:22.235
So instead, here are some
00:08:22.301 --> 00:08:24.103
Hilarious clips from my very own
00:08:24.170 --> 00:08:24.804 position:20%
Life!
00:08:24.871 --> 00:08:26.205
[ singing indistinctly ]
00:08:26.272 --> 00:08:27.907
daddy, when I grow up, I'm
00:08:27.974 --> 00:08:29.709
Gonna marry that pretty singer!
00:08:29.775 --> 00:08:31.410
She's the prettiest girl I've
00:08:31.477 --> 00:08:32.144 position:20%
Ever seen!
00:08:32.211 --> 00:08:33.112
No, daddy, no!
00:08:33.179 --> 00:08:34.714
Her first name is "Boy,"
00:08:34.780 --> 00:08:36.215 position:20%
Dillweed!
00:08:36.282 --> 00:08:37.216
You come back here!
00:08:37.283 --> 00:08:39.085
This is [bleep] Kryptonite, son!
00:08:39.151 --> 00:08:40.853
You might say my balls were
00:08:40.920 --> 00:08:41.921
Scared straight.
00:08:41.988 --> 00:08:43.322
[ canned laughter ]
00:08:43.389 --> 00:08:44.924
This next clip really made me
00:08:44.991 --> 00:08:46.726
The butt of the joke!
00:08:46.792 --> 00:08:48.594 position:20%
Whoo-ee!
00:08:48.661 --> 00:08:51.397
This burrito is spicy!
00:08:51.464 --> 00:08:52.164
[ gulping ]
00:08:52.231 --> 00:08:53.933
Nothing beats mexican tap water.
00:08:54.000 --> 00:08:55.134
[ stomach gurgling ]
00:08:55.201 --> 00:08:56.736
That was probably a mistake.
00:08:56.802 --> 00:08:58.671
[ farting loudly ]
00:09:03.910 --> 00:09:05.578
My asshole is still 50% scar
00:09:05.645 --> 00:09:06.212 position:20%
Tissue!
00:09:06.279 --> 00:09:07.113
[ canned laughter ]
00:09:07.179 --> 00:09:08.981
Between montezuma's revenge and
00:09:09.048 --> 00:09:10.883
Boy george, it was gonna happen
00:09:10.950 --> 00:09:12.518
One way or another.
00:09:12.585 --> 00:09:14.287
Oh, come on, man, you got to
00:09:14.353 --> 00:09:16.088
Cash in that "V" card sometime!
00:09:16.155 --> 00:09:17.823
You're the only virgin I know,
00:09:17.890 --> 00:09:18.457 position:20%
Bro!
00:09:18.524 --> 00:09:19.892
Yeah, but she's so...
00:09:19.959 --> 00:09:21.761
dude, it's starter [bleep]
00:09:21.827 --> 00:09:23.596
You work your way up the food
00:09:23.663 --> 00:09:24.797
Chain, I promise.
00:09:24.864 --> 00:09:27.300
Oh, uh, geez, sorry.
00:09:27.366 --> 00:09:28.534
It was my first time.
00:09:28.601 --> 00:09:29.869
Yeah, you said that.
00:09:29.936 --> 00:09:31.404
I got an early class, so...
00:09:31.470 --> 00:09:33.139
probably too late to put this
00:09:33.205 --> 00:09:33.906 position:20%
On, huh?
00:09:33.973 --> 00:09:36.509
You didn't put... oh, my god!
00:09:36.575 --> 00:09:37.710
And I'm pregnant.
00:09:37.777 --> 00:09:39.045
How can you tell?
00:09:39.111 --> 00:09:40.780
Well, that's all the time I
00:09:40.846 --> 00:09:41.480 position:20%
Have.
00:09:41.547 --> 00:09:43.049
Yep, for your good buddy the
00:09:43.115 --> 00:09:44.784
"Bloopers" host, you might say
00:09:44.850 --> 00:09:45.551
Time is up.
00:09:45.618 --> 00:09:47.253
For my next trick, I'll need an
00:09:47.320 --> 00:09:47.987 position:20%
Assistant.
00:09:48.054 --> 00:09:49.455
Please welcome my pregnant
00:09:49.522 --> 00:09:51.123
13-year-old daughter, stephanie!
00:09:51.190 --> 00:09:51.891
[ applause ]
00:09:51.958 --> 00:09:53.392
That's right... I was such a
00:09:53.459 --> 00:09:54.994
Good parent, god is bumping me
00:09:55.061 --> 00:09:56.595
To grandparent status way ahead
00:09:56.662 --> 00:09:57.363
Of schedule!
00:09:57.430 --> 00:09:58.631
Dad, my ankles hurt!
00:09:58.698 --> 00:09:59.832
Please drive me home!
00:09:59.899 --> 00:10:01.500
Just as soon as daddy commits
00:10:01.567 --> 00:10:02.501
Hari-kari, honey.
00:10:02.568 --> 00:10:04.036
Now, when I disembowel myself,
00:10:04.103 --> 00:10:05.538
You cut my head off with the
00:10:05.604 --> 00:10:06.305 position:20%
Katana!
00:10:06.372 --> 00:10:07.649
[ sighs ] I'll be in the car.
00:10:07.673 --> 00:10:10.643
[ canned laughter ]
00:10:10.710 --> 00:10:11.911
Stop mocking me.
00:10:11.978 --> 00:10:14.547
[ canned laughter ]
00:10:14.613 --> 00:10:17.216
[ distorted laughter ]
00:10:17.283 --> 00:10:18.651 line:20%
Stop mocking me!
00:10:18.718 --> 00:10:19.485 position:20% line:20%
>> dad!
00:10:19.552 --> 00:10:20.552 position:20% line:20%
>> coming!
00:10:20.586 --> 00:10:22.054 line:20%
[ clatters ]
00:10:22.121 --> 00:10:26.292 position:20% line:20%
[ sloop! ]
00:10:26.359 --> 00:10:28.627 line:20%
[ machine-gun fire ]
00:10:28.694 --> 00:10:29.862 line:20%
>> ♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
00:10:29.929 --> 00:10:31.030 line:20%
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
00:10:31.097 --> 00:10:32.498 line:20%
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
00:10:32.565 --> 00:10:33.165 line:20%
Bawk bawk ♪
00:10:33.232 --> 00:10:34.300 line:20%
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
00:10:34.367 --> 00:10:35.301 line:20%
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
00:10:35.368 --> 00:10:36.802 line:20%
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
00:10:36.869 --> 00:10:37.470 line:20%
Bawk bawk ♪
00:10:37.536 --> 00:10:38.537 line:20%
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
00:10:38.604 --> 00:10:39.605 line:20%
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
00:10:39.672 --> 00:10:41.140 line:20%
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
00:10:41.207 --> 00:10:41.807 line:20%
Bawk bawk ♪
00:10:41.874 --> 00:10:43.743 line:20%
Ba-gawk! Bawk.24886
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