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[ thunder crashing ]
[ drilling, sawing ]
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00:00:15,982 --> 00:00:25,959
[ electricity crackling ]
>> it's alive!
3
00:00:26,025 --> 00:00:38,338
[ electricity crackling ]
>> it's alive!
4
00:00:38,405 --> 00:00:41,207
>> and I worry about where this
Culture is heading.
5
00:00:41,274 --> 00:00:43,276
>> shut up, you old bitch!
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00:00:44,744 --> 00:00:47,580
[ click ]
>> ♪ ghost with your ride ♪
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♪ ghost on fire ♪
♪ ghost with your ride ♪
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00:00:52,018 --> 00:00:54,788
♪ ghost with your ride ♪
♪ ghost with your ride ♪
9
00:00:54,854 --> 00:00:56,122
>> but why earth, jor-el?
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00:00:56,189 --> 00:00:58,191
They're thousands of years
Behind us.
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00:00:58,258 --> 00:00:59,793
>> he will need that advantage.
12
00:00:59,859 --> 00:01:03,830
And I will instruct him, guide
Him, see my life through his
13
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:07,033
Eyes as he will see it through
Mine.
14
00:01:07,100 --> 00:01:09,202
Goodbye, my son.
15
00:01:14,274 --> 00:01:18,044
And for some reason, they put
The big fork on the inside, next
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00:01:18,111 --> 00:01:19,245
To the salad fork.
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Salad in general will be
Discussed later on in chapter 9.
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00:01:23,550 --> 00:01:28,455
[ squeaking ]
Chapter 42 -- tipping.
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00:01:28,521 --> 00:01:32,058
This is open to debate, and
There's no real right answer.
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00:01:32,125 --> 00:01:36,795
But the consensus is 15% to 20%.
21
00:01:36,863 --> 00:01:40,767
And then, of course, there's the
"Dirty sanchez."
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00:01:40,834 --> 00:01:44,270
This was a very popular dance
Move on krypton, and from what I
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00:01:44,337 --> 00:01:47,006
Can tell, they have it on earth,
As well.
24
00:01:47,073 --> 00:01:52,612
[ beep ]
To continue, flip to side "B."
25
00:01:52,679 --> 00:01:54,247
Good luck, my son.
26
00:01:54,314 --> 00:01:57,450
If I've calculated correctly,
You have traveled through
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00:01:57,517 --> 00:02:01,221
12 galaxies to land in a small
Town in kansas, near a road
28
00:02:01,287 --> 00:02:05,258
Where --
>> I love being a wuzzle!
29
00:02:05,325 --> 00:02:07,627
We get to be two animals at
Once!
30
00:02:07,694 --> 00:02:10,530
Take me -- I'm a bumblebee and a
Lion!
31
00:02:10,597 --> 00:02:12,732
>> and I'm an elephant and a
Kangaroo.
32
00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:15,001
>> you know what grosses me out,
Bumblelion?
33
00:02:15,068 --> 00:02:16,836
How'd your parents get together?
34
00:02:16,903 --> 00:02:19,839
[ buzzing, thwack! ]
>> ow! What the hell?!
35
00:02:19,906 --> 00:02:22,242
You think you can just sting me,
You little bumblebee?
36
00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:23,943
Wow, you're cute, little
Bumblebee.
37
00:02:24,010 --> 00:02:25,845
Huh, little cutie. Come here.
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00:02:25,912 --> 00:02:27,780
[ moans ] Oh, yeah.
39
00:02:27,847 --> 00:02:29,048
Ouch, ohh, ouch, ohh, ow!
40
00:02:29,115 --> 00:02:30,316
Sting me in the hole! Ow!
41
00:02:30,383 --> 00:02:31,651
Sting me in the hole! Ouch!
42
00:02:31,718 --> 00:02:33,052
Sting me in the hole! Ouch!
43
00:02:33,119 --> 00:02:34,020
>> ugh!
44
00:02:34,087 --> 00:02:36,022
I don't want to think about that
Anymore.
45
00:02:36,089 --> 00:02:38,358
What about you, eleroo?
46
00:02:38,424 --> 00:02:40,627
>> now, this might hurt a
Little.
47
00:02:40,692 --> 00:02:42,362
[ kangaroo shrieks,
Elephant trumpets ]
48
00:02:42,428 --> 00:02:43,062
>> ugh!
49
00:02:43,129 --> 00:02:44,664
How about you, donkeyhuman?
50
00:02:44,731 --> 00:02:46,065
>> eeee-awwww!
51
00:02:46,132 --> 00:02:48,468
As far as I know --
>> actually, I don't want to
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00:02:48,535 --> 00:02:48,935
Know.
53
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:49,836
>> um, me neither.
54
00:02:49,903 --> 00:02:51,304
Um, yeah, I'm good, I'm good.
55
00:02:51,371 --> 00:02:54,107
>> we're gonna miss you when
You're in japan, josh!
56
00:02:54,173 --> 00:02:56,109
>> yeah! Which one's josh?
57
00:02:56,175 --> 00:03:00,146
All the guys here kind of look
Like the same generic douche.
58
00:03:00,213 --> 00:03:02,582
[ rumbling ]
[ all screaming ]
59
00:03:02,649 --> 00:03:05,952
[ creature roars ]
>> [ roars ]
60
00:03:10,490 --> 00:03:12,759
>> wow, that is really
Tasteless.
61
00:03:12,825 --> 00:03:16,496
>> uh, it's only been eight
Years since 9/11, for god's
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00:03:16,563 --> 00:03:17,196
Sake!
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00:03:17,263 --> 00:03:18,631
>> what are you thinking, bro?!
64
00:03:18,698 --> 00:03:20,166
Man! Can anybody answer that?
65
00:03:20,233 --> 00:03:21,768
What is that monster thinking?
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00:03:21,834 --> 00:03:27,407
>> [ roars ]
>> boo! Way too soon, dude!
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00:03:27,473 --> 00:03:29,008
>> terrible taste, man!
68
00:03:29,075 --> 00:03:31,244
>> boo! Too soon!
69
00:03:31,311 --> 00:03:38,117
>> [ roars ]
[ roars ]
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00:03:38,184 --> 00:03:40,019
>> boo!
71
00:03:40,086 --> 00:03:42,855
>> aw, you sad because there's
Nothing to smash here?
72
00:03:42,922 --> 00:03:46,025
Well, that's because it was
Already smashed!
73
00:03:46,091 --> 00:03:51,464
By people who hate our freedom!
74
00:03:51,531 --> 00:04:01,674
So what you're doing here is
Very, very offensive!
75
00:04:01,741 --> 00:04:02,642
>> what's it doing?
76
00:04:02,709 --> 00:04:07,246
>> it's desecrating the site!
77
00:04:07,313 --> 00:04:08,448
>> no, look!
78
00:04:08,514 --> 00:04:13,419
It's doing something else!
79
00:04:13,486 --> 00:04:21,494
[ all cheer ]
>> hey, "Cloverfield" monster!
80
00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:30,637
>> [ gulping ]
Ahhhhhhh!
81
00:04:30,703 --> 00:04:32,138
>> I'll take that one.
82
00:04:32,205 --> 00:04:38,611
[ buzzing ]
[ whooshing ]
83
00:04:38,678 --> 00:04:41,648
[ glass shatters ]
>> wow! Erin esurance!
84
00:04:41,714 --> 00:04:42,782
>> that's right!
85
00:04:42,849 --> 00:04:45,952
Esurance handles your insurance
Needs, all online!
86
00:04:46,019 --> 00:04:46,986
Just quote...
87
00:04:47,053 --> 00:04:47,820
Buy...
88
00:04:47,887 --> 00:04:49,622
And print!
89
00:04:49,689 --> 00:04:51,524
With esurance, you're always
Covered!
90
00:04:51,591 --> 00:04:54,260
[ gun cocks ]
>> hey, what are you --
91
00:04:54,327 --> 00:04:55,828
[ gunshot ]
Ow! What the [bleep]
92
00:04:55,895 --> 00:04:58,164
>> oh, sorry, you have a
Four-bullet deductible.
93
00:04:58,231 --> 00:04:59,098
>> I have a what?!
94
00:04:59,165 --> 00:05:01,234
[ gunshot ]
>> you kept your monthly premium
95
00:05:01,300 --> 00:05:03,136
Low by choosing a higher
Deductible.
96
00:05:03,202 --> 00:05:05,038
It's a risk you had to weigh up
Front.
97
00:05:05,104 --> 00:05:06,272
[ gunshot ]
>> aaaaaah!
98
00:05:06,339 --> 00:05:07,473
I want to change my policy!
99
00:05:07,540 --> 00:05:08,641
>> no problem!
100
00:05:08,708 --> 00:05:10,643
Your new policy will go into
Effect the first of the month!
101
00:05:10,710 --> 00:05:11,678
[ gunshot ]
>> ohhhhh!
102
00:05:11,744 --> 00:05:15,148
>> that's four bullets!
103
00:05:15,214 --> 00:05:17,684
Anything else I can do for you
Today?
104
00:05:17,750 --> 00:05:21,554
Well, you're also covered by our
Awesome life insurance, so your
105
00:05:21,621 --> 00:05:24,157
Elderly mother is in for quite a
Windfall...
106
00:05:24,223 --> 00:05:26,759
Or she would have been, if you
Hadn't missed your february
107
00:05:26,826 --> 00:05:27,827
Payment.
108
00:05:27,894 --> 00:05:30,296
>> [ gravelly voice ] It's your
Greatest fear.
109
00:05:30,363 --> 00:05:32,498
It fills you with dread.
110
00:05:32,565 --> 00:05:36,169
>> aaaaaaaah!!
111
00:05:36,235 --> 00:05:38,938
>> you find yourself
Screaming...
112
00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:43,242
[ cheerful voice ] ..."Who can I
Call to fix this drain?"
113
00:05:43,308 --> 00:05:44,677
Earl mcgarry, that's who!
114
00:05:44,744 --> 00:05:46,079
He doesn't ask questions.
115
00:05:46,145 --> 00:05:47,380
>> here's your problem!
116
00:05:47,447 --> 00:05:49,649
You got about four quarts of
Blood in here.
117
00:05:49,716 --> 00:05:52,151
Trivia fact -- that's how much
The human body holds!
118
00:05:52,218 --> 00:05:53,119
>> he's experienced!
119
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:54,220
>> here's your problem.
120
00:05:54,287 --> 00:05:55,988
You've got a ghoulie in here.
121
00:05:56,055 --> 00:05:57,123
>> and he knows his stuff!
122
00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:58,124
>> here's your problem.
123
00:05:58,191 --> 00:06:00,059
You got glenn close in here!
124
00:06:05,998 --> 00:06:07,166
>> not bonded by the state.
125
00:06:07,233 --> 00:06:09,869
>> coach, why do girls have to
Play with a ball that's twice
126
00:06:09,936 --> 00:06:11,237
The size of a normal baseball?
127
00:06:11,304 --> 00:06:14,373
>> because girls aren't very
Strong or coordinated.
128
00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:20,446
>> ♪ bum-bum-bum-bada-ba-ba ♪
♪ ba-da ba-ba ba ♪
129
00:06:20,513 --> 00:06:23,549
>> this summer, action hero
Nicolas cage stars in
130
00:06:23,616 --> 00:06:24,650
"Rear window 2."
131
00:06:24,717 --> 00:06:27,386
>> confined to the damn
Wheelchair.
132
00:06:27,453 --> 00:06:31,057
[ inhales, exhales deeply ]
This isn't me.
133
00:06:31,124 --> 00:06:32,225
Babe-a-palooza.
134
00:06:32,291 --> 00:06:34,594
Hot...Diggity dog.
135
00:06:34,659 --> 00:06:37,363
Uh-huh. Yeah. Do it right.
136
00:06:37,430 --> 00:06:40,466
Oh, wow. That's...Not good.
137
00:06:40,533 --> 00:06:46,172
[ gun cocks ]
[ tires screech ]
138
00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:49,575
Let's roll.
139
00:06:54,981 --> 00:06:57,582
[ tires screech ]
How's that for handicap access?
140
00:06:57,650 --> 00:07:03,022
Oh, wait, there's something on
My shoe -- your face, hyah!
141
00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:11,264
>> [ whimpering ]
[ tires screech ]
142
00:07:11,330 --> 00:07:15,535
>> out of my way, fat man!
143
00:07:15,601 --> 00:07:25,511
[ beep, chair accelerates ]
>> ahh!
144
00:07:25,578 --> 00:07:27,380
[ tires screech ]
>> hey, kid.
145
00:07:27,446 --> 00:07:29,615
Keep it "Wheel."
146
00:07:30,750 --> 00:07:35,454
>> [ farts ]
[ scribbling ]
147
00:07:35,521 --> 00:07:41,494
[ farts ]
[ water bubbling ]
148
00:07:41,561 --> 00:07:45,631
"'how I spent my summer
Vacation,' by bobby mccormick."
149
00:07:45,698 --> 00:07:46,232
>> aah!
150
00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:47,667
You're dead meat, dorkwad!
151
00:07:47,733 --> 00:07:49,902
>> ooh-ee-ooh!
152
00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:51,170
>> I'm jason chambers.
153
00:07:51,237 --> 00:07:54,207
You just saw a conventional
Wedgie, but today on
154
00:07:54,273 --> 00:07:58,077
"Human weapon," we reveal the
Super wedgie known as the
155
00:07:58,144 --> 00:07:59,812
Brazilian covered wagon.
156
00:07:59,879 --> 00:08:02,081
This is "Human weapon."
157
00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:05,151
The aggressor grabs securely on
The elastic strap of the
158
00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:07,820
Opponent's underwear and pulls
Directly backward.
159
00:08:07,887 --> 00:08:08,988
>> yeeeowwww!
160
00:08:09,055 --> 00:08:11,524
>> this move maximizes the
Amount of slack in the underwear
161
00:08:11,591 --> 00:08:13,726
For the upward thrust.
162
00:08:17,296 --> 00:08:21,267
Lastly, a forward curving
Motion loops the underwear over
163
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:28,174
The opponent's forehead, drawing
His head back in a painful arch.
164
00:08:28,241 --> 00:08:29,308
Ha ha!
165
00:08:29,375 --> 00:08:32,044
Five pounds more tensile
Strength on those bvds, and that
166
00:08:32,111 --> 00:08:33,813
Nerd's neck would snap.
167
00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:34,513
Ha ha!
168
00:08:34,580 --> 00:08:36,883
I truly, truly hate nerds.
169
00:08:36,948 --> 00:08:40,119
>> did some mother [bleep] Call
For a sappy song?
170
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:42,621
Because y'all got the damn
Expert.
171
00:08:42,688 --> 00:08:44,155
[ scats ]
[ to the tune of "What a
172
00:08:44,222 --> 00:08:47,260
Wonderful world" ]
♪ you saw smurfs fighting
173
00:08:47,326 --> 00:08:51,764
Snorks ♪
♪ fumbles dropped a beer ♪
174
00:08:51,831 --> 00:08:57,570
♪ and some unlucky dork ♪
♪ he turned into a deer ♪
175
00:08:57,637 --> 00:09:03,175
♪ and it occurs to me ♪
♪ that season four ruled ♪
176
00:09:03,242 --> 00:09:08,547
>> ♪ I saw lots of boobies ♪
♪ and almost got laid,
177
00:09:08,614 --> 00:09:11,951
Hee-hee! ♪
>> ♪ I banged 20 beauties ♪
178
00:09:12,018 --> 00:09:15,388
>> aw, snap, now I got feline
Aids!
179
00:09:15,454 --> 00:09:16,589
Holla!
180
00:09:16,656 --> 00:09:19,525
>> ♪ and to summarize things ♪
♪ season four was off the
181
00:09:19,592 --> 00:09:23,195
Chain ♪
>> ♪ we saw gelflings dropping
182
00:09:23,262 --> 00:09:24,797
Rhymes ♪
And it was so awesome!
183
00:09:24,864 --> 00:09:27,366
>> ♪ superheroes looking
Chubby ♪
184
00:09:27,433 --> 00:09:31,737
>> ♪ all the tears I've cried ♪
>> ♪ I fought the terminator
185
00:09:31,804 --> 00:09:34,607
Puppy! ♪
>> ♪ and I cognitively process
186
00:09:34,674 --> 00:09:36,943
That season four kicked
Undeniable ass ♪
187
00:09:37,009 --> 00:09:39,312
Talkin' about karate on that
Ass.
188
00:09:39,378 --> 00:09:43,816
>> ♪ there was violence galore ♪
>> ♪ fart jokes, there were
189
00:09:43,883 --> 00:09:45,418
Lots ♪
>> [ farting ]
190
00:09:45,484 --> 00:09:48,854
>> ♪ oh, we tallied up the
Score! ♪
191
00:09:48,921 --> 00:09:51,790
>> ♪ there were 50 nut shots ♪
>> ♪ and I'm telepathically
192
00:09:51,857 --> 00:09:54,427
Getting the message coming to me
Right now that season four
193
00:09:54,493 --> 00:09:58,497
Smoked you all over the face ♪
>> ladies and gentlemen,
194
00:09:58,564 --> 00:10:02,435
President of adult swim,
Mike lazzo.
195
00:10:02,501 --> 00:10:08,207
[ upbeat celtic music plays ]
[ "Hava nagila" plays ]
196
00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:15,214
[ "Charleston" plays ]
[ "Chicken dance" plays ]
197
00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:20,453
[ disco music plays ]
>> ♪ "Y-m-I-a" ♪
198
00:10:20,519 --> 00:10:26,492
[ dance music plays ]
[ hip-hop music plays ]
199
00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:31,897
>> ♪ no one knows, no ♪
>> ♪ hey, "Macatrena" ♪
200
00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:35,801
[ dance music plays ]
>> ♪ where's my love? ♪
201
00:10:35,868 --> 00:10:37,169
>> [ breathing heavily ] Oh!
202
00:10:37,236 --> 00:10:38,704
Man! Ohh!
203
00:10:38,771 --> 00:10:41,240
Oh, by the way, you're canceled.
204
00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:44,810
[ cackles ]
F.Y.I.
205
00:10:44,877 --> 00:10:46,645
>> honey, sell the time share!
206
00:10:46,712 --> 00:10:48,881
Sell the time share!
207
00:10:48,948 --> 00:10:54,553
>> ♪ oh oh oh oh oh oh-oh ♪
♪ oh-oh-oh oh oh ♪
208
00:10:54,620 --> 00:10:57,356
♪ ohhh ♪
>> ♪ where's my love? ♪
15628
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