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1
00:00:05,004 --> 00:00:15,915
[ thunder crashing ]
[ drilling, sawing ]
2
00:00:15,982 --> 00:00:25,959
[ electricity crackling ]
>> it's alive!
3
00:00:26,025 --> 00:00:38,338
[ electricity crackling ]
>> it's alive!
4
00:00:38,405 --> 00:00:42,542
>> show yourself, dracula, or
I'll tear castlevania from its
5
00:00:42,609 --> 00:00:43,843
Very foundation.
6
00:00:43,910 --> 00:00:47,447
>> dracula's least of your
Worries, simon belmont.
7
00:00:47,514 --> 00:00:52,419
>> [ howling ]
>> both: [ laughing ]
8
00:00:52,485 --> 00:00:53,319
>> a whip?!
9
00:00:53,386 --> 00:00:55,855
I hope you brought something
More powerful.
10
00:00:55,922 --> 00:00:57,424
Ow! Ow! Ow!
11
00:00:57,490 --> 00:00:59,993
Holy crow, that hurt!
12
00:01:00,059 --> 00:01:02,128
I can't feel my damn fingers!
13
00:01:02,195 --> 00:01:03,997
>> take me to your master!
14
00:01:04,063 --> 00:01:07,400
>> okay, damn, just take it easy
With the whip!
15
00:01:07,467 --> 00:01:10,336
>> I don't think my hand works
Anymore.
16
00:01:10,403 --> 00:01:12,138
I can't even make a fist.
17
00:01:12,205 --> 00:01:17,210
>> don't you realize how loud
That is?!
18
00:01:17,277 --> 00:01:19,446
>> so, we meet again, belmont.
19
00:01:19,512 --> 00:01:23,183
Do you know your father died in
Exactly that spot?
20
00:01:23,249 --> 00:01:25,084
Ooh, what's that, a whip?
21
00:01:25,151 --> 00:01:27,387
[ laughs ]
Ooh, ooh, you hit the tit.
22
00:01:27,454 --> 00:01:28,655
Aah! You son of a bitch!
23
00:01:28,721 --> 00:01:29,389
Ow, the tit.
24
00:01:29,456 --> 00:01:30,423
Oh, I'm the master.
25
00:01:30,490 --> 00:01:32,091
I don't have to stand for this.
26
00:01:32,158 --> 00:01:34,093
[ laughs ]
Oh!
27
00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:35,428
Ow! Ooh! Aah!
28
00:01:35,495 --> 00:01:39,933
>> what kind of a sadist uses a
Whip?
29
00:01:39,999 --> 00:01:41,267
>> could be a fetish.
30
00:01:41,334 --> 00:01:43,503
>> ow! Ow! Ow!
31
00:01:45,438 --> 00:01:46,706
>> oh!
32
00:01:46,773 --> 00:01:47,240
Reggie.
33
00:01:47,307 --> 00:01:48,475
>> here you go, judge.
34
00:01:48,541 --> 00:01:51,777
>> [ clears throat ]
Thank you, reggie.
35
00:01:51,845 --> 00:01:55,048
[ grunts ]
Yeah. [ laughs ]
36
00:01:55,114 --> 00:01:56,883
>> a-a-a-a-nd...
37
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:58,218
Killed by a fairy.
38
00:01:58,283 --> 00:02:02,188
[ evil laughter ]
♪ google's my friend, and it's
39
00:02:02,255 --> 00:02:05,191
Not just for porno ♪
♪ it also gets me ♪
40
00:02:05,258 --> 00:02:08,193
♪ cheat codes ♪
Ahh, sweet cheat codes.
41
00:02:08,261 --> 00:02:11,498
[ beeping ]
[ alarm blaring ]
42
00:02:11,564 --> 00:02:12,832
>> we've been hacked!
43
00:02:12,899 --> 00:02:14,100
>> trace the signal!
44
00:02:14,167 --> 00:02:16,436
We must overreact immediately!
45
00:02:16,503 --> 00:02:19,439
>> "Click here to nuke canada"?
46
00:02:19,506 --> 00:02:21,508
[ explosion ]
That didn't do anything.
47
00:02:21,574 --> 00:02:22,242
>> get down!
48
00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:23,443
Get on the ground now!
49
00:02:23,510 --> 00:02:25,712
I want to see your hands right
[bleep] Now!
50
00:02:25,778 --> 00:02:27,046
Don't move! Get down!
51
00:02:27,113 --> 00:02:29,549
>> I got it!
52
00:02:29,616 --> 00:02:30,550
>> uh...
53
00:02:30,617 --> 00:02:32,719
Ooh! Hey!
54
00:02:32,785 --> 00:02:34,387
>> you will answer our question.
55
00:02:34,454 --> 00:02:36,222
Who is code name
High priestess?
56
00:02:36,289 --> 00:02:38,992
>> the high priestess is
Equivalent to a fourth-level
57
00:02:39,058 --> 00:02:39,993
Agent or mordor.
58
00:02:40,059 --> 00:02:41,628
>> mordor. And where is that?
59
00:02:41,694 --> 00:02:43,263
>> east of gondor, I believe.
60
00:02:43,329 --> 00:02:44,197
>> waterboard.
61
00:02:44,264 --> 00:02:45,865
>> waterboard -- what is that?
62
00:02:45,932 --> 00:02:49,335
[ gurgling ]
>> where is mordor?!
63
00:02:49,402 --> 00:02:51,137
>> south of the ash mountain!
64
00:02:51,204 --> 00:02:51,938
>> where?!
65
00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:53,773
>> north of the sea of núrnen!
66
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,109
[ gurgles ]
>> where?!
67
00:02:56,175 --> 00:02:57,076
Where?!
68
00:02:57,143 --> 00:02:58,845
>> [ squealing ]
[ voice breaking ] What do you
69
00:02:58,912 --> 00:03:01,414
Want me to say?!
70
00:03:01,481 --> 00:03:02,515
>> pakistan.
71
00:03:02,582 --> 00:03:03,616
>> pakistan!
72
00:03:03,683 --> 00:03:05,685
Mordor's in pakistan!
73
00:03:08,721 --> 00:03:10,456
Please, there must be a mistake.
74
00:03:10,523 --> 00:03:12,692
I just wanted to be a high
Priestess.
75
00:03:12,759 --> 00:03:13,860
>> oh, don't worry.
76
00:03:13,927 --> 00:03:14,694
You will be.
77
00:03:14,761 --> 00:03:16,262
>> dang it!
78
00:03:16,696 --> 00:03:17,964
>> yeah!
79
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:21,100
>> all: ♪ start sharing ♪
>> I like sharing.
80
00:03:21,167 --> 00:03:22,702
>> yay, everybody! Sharing!
81
00:03:22,769 --> 00:03:25,171
That's the way you're supposed
To do it.
82
00:03:25,238 --> 00:03:28,207
[ slow clapping ]
Oh. Hi, old gordo.
83
00:03:28,274 --> 00:03:31,411
Hey, everyone, this is my cousin
Gordon gekko.
84
00:03:31,477 --> 00:03:34,314
Gordon is a powerful executive
On wall street.
85
00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:36,082
So, what do you think about
Shar--
86
00:03:36,149 --> 00:03:38,817
>> the richest 1% of this
Country owns half our country's
87
00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:40,386
Wealth -- $5 trillion.
88
00:03:40,453 --> 00:03:41,554
>> $1 trillion.
89
00:03:41,621 --> 00:03:43,289
[ laughs ]
$2 trill--
90
00:03:43,356 --> 00:03:44,223
>> shut up.
91
00:03:44,290 --> 00:03:46,559
Greed, for lack of a better
Word, is good.
92
00:03:46,626 --> 00:03:47,327
Greed works.
93
00:03:47,393 --> 00:03:49,329
>> my dad says being greedy is
Bad.
94
00:03:49,395 --> 00:03:52,599
>> your dad wouldn't know how to
Pour piss out of a boot if the
95
00:03:52,665 --> 00:03:53,966
Instructions were on the heel.
96
00:03:54,033 --> 00:03:55,735
Is kermit over here sharing with
You?
97
00:03:55,802 --> 00:03:58,538
You think he's getting paid the
Same amount you are to sit here
98
00:03:58,605 --> 00:03:59,872
And sing songs about sharing?
99
00:03:59,939 --> 00:04:02,442
>> okay, gordo. [ laughs ]
It's time to get back to the
100
00:04:02,508 --> 00:04:03,142
Office.
101
00:04:03,209 --> 00:04:04,310
>> see this building behind me?
102
00:04:04,377 --> 00:04:05,511
First place I ever bought.
103
00:04:05,578 --> 00:04:07,213
Flipped it and made 800,000
Bucks.
104
00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:08,381
It was better than sex.
105
00:04:08,448 --> 00:04:11,184
>> okay, who wants to share a
Healthy after-school snack?
106
00:04:11,250 --> 00:04:12,518
>> I want to make $800,000!
107
00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:13,920
>> me, too!
108
00:04:13,987 --> 00:04:15,955
>> first you have to quit
Dressing like 9-year-old kids.
109
00:04:16,022 --> 00:04:17,656
Let's go buy these [bleep] Some
Little suits.
110
00:04:17,724 --> 00:04:19,858
>> well, I guess that lesson was
Brought to you by the number
111
00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:21,260
"Douchebag."
112
00:04:21,694 --> 00:04:24,931
>> [ laughs ]
We'll burn atlanta to the
113
00:04:24,998 --> 00:04:26,933
Ground!
114
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:29,302
>> your cause is lost, southern
Fool.
115
00:04:29,369 --> 00:04:31,070
>> I believe in rhett butler.
116
00:04:31,137 --> 00:04:32,905
He's the only cause I know.
117
00:04:32,972 --> 00:04:33,740
Split kick!
118
00:04:33,806 --> 00:04:35,241
>> jean-claude van damme!
119
00:04:35,308 --> 00:04:36,376
>> war, war, war.
120
00:04:36,442 --> 00:04:38,111
I'm so bored, I could scream.
121
00:04:38,177 --> 00:04:41,581
>> I always had you pegged for a
Screamer, scarlett o'hara.
122
00:04:41,648 --> 00:04:45,183
>> [ grunts ]
>> cynthia rothrock!
123
00:04:45,251 --> 00:04:55,228
>> [ gasps, screams ]
[ grunting ]
124
00:04:55,294 --> 00:05:06,472
>> [ gasps, screams ]
[ grunting ]
125
00:05:06,539 --> 00:05:09,809
>> come here!
126
00:05:09,876 --> 00:05:11,377
There we go.
127
00:05:14,380 --> 00:05:16,883
>> [ laughing ]
Ow!
128
00:05:16,949 --> 00:05:21,220
>> hurry, harold!
129
00:05:21,287 --> 00:05:24,724
I'm in the mo-o-o-o-od!
130
00:05:24,791 --> 00:05:29,562
>> h-e-e-e-ere I-I-I-I-I...
131
00:05:29,629 --> 00:05:32,565
Co-o-o-o-o-me.
132
00:05:32,632 --> 00:05:40,640
Gonna ta-a-a-a-p tha-a-a-a-a-t.
133
00:05:43,743 --> 00:05:47,513
>> oh, damn it!
134
00:05:47,580 --> 00:05:50,483
You know, it's not like purple
Pants grow on trees!
135
00:05:50,550 --> 00:05:54,120
There's only one dillard's that
Carries these that's all the way
136
00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:58,624
Downtown, and now I have to --
[ roars ]
137
00:05:58,691 --> 00:06:02,395
>> we, the scientists of the
World, are sick of hearing about
138
00:06:02,462 --> 00:06:03,262
Jet packs!
139
00:06:03,329 --> 00:06:05,131
"Oh, mr. Scientist, where's my
Jet pack?
140
00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:06,866
We've been waiting since the
1950s.
141
00:06:06,933 --> 00:06:12,939
Wah, wah, wah!"
Well, we tried, okay?
142
00:06:13,005 --> 00:06:16,509
[ engine whirring ]
[ engine whirring ]
143
00:06:28,354 --> 00:06:31,991
[ engine whirring ]
[ engine whirring ]
144
00:06:41,634 --> 00:06:43,302
>> [ screams ]
[ engine whirring ]
145
00:06:54,213 --> 00:06:55,348
>> satisfied?
146
00:06:55,414 --> 00:06:57,450
Now, please, leave us alone so
We can get back to making your
147
00:06:57,517 --> 00:06:59,852
Ipod smaller.
148
00:07:00,286 --> 00:07:04,791
>> ♪ I'm petroleum pete, and I
Can't be beat ♪
149
00:07:04,857 --> 00:07:11,130
♪ and I'm a big, old dinosaur ♪
♪ so when you buy gasoline ♪
150
00:07:11,197 --> 00:07:15,968
♪ you're keeping my memory
Alive ♪
151
00:07:16,035 --> 00:07:23,309
♪ so if some vegetarian talks to
You about alternative sources of
152
00:07:23,376 --> 00:07:25,311
Fuel ♪
♪ kick him in the balls ♪
153
00:07:25,378 --> 00:07:27,513
Or if it's a woman, in the taco.
154
00:07:27,580 --> 00:07:28,714
>> ow, my taco!
155
00:07:28,781 --> 00:07:31,551
>> so remember, kids, we're
Locked in a death struggle
156
00:07:31,617 --> 00:07:33,486
Against the earth, which hates
Us.
157
00:07:33,553 --> 00:07:36,489
We didn't do anything, so we got
To destroy it first!
158
00:07:36,556 --> 00:07:40,193
Oh, let's build a gas-powered
Rocket and fly away to another
159
00:07:40,259 --> 00:07:44,797
Planet where dinosaurs and kids
Just ride motorcycles and shoot
160
00:07:44,864 --> 00:07:48,634
Machine guns and sit around all
Day, playing video games in the
161
00:07:48,701 --> 00:07:51,938
Air-conditioning and never go to
Gym class, man!
162
00:07:52,004 --> 00:07:56,108
Thank you, oil industry!
163
00:07:56,175 --> 00:07:59,011
[ bell rings ]
Oh, hey, we forgot to destroy
164
00:07:59,078 --> 00:07:59,812
The earth.
165
00:07:59,879 --> 00:08:02,448
>> all: yay!
166
00:08:02,882 --> 00:08:05,852
>> ♪ I'm turning 16 ♪
>> hey, bitches!
167
00:08:05,918 --> 00:08:07,019
I'm annie warbucks.
168
00:08:07,086 --> 00:08:09,722
When I was an orphan, I dreamed
Of being rich!
169
00:08:09,789 --> 00:08:12,992
Now that I am, I dream of
Showing those other orphans just
170
00:08:13,059 --> 00:08:15,328
How [bleep] Rich I am!
171
00:08:15,394 --> 00:08:19,999
So I'm throwing a super-bitching
Sweet 16!
172
00:08:20,066 --> 00:08:24,270
As you can see, I love red, so
That's the theme of my party --
173
00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:28,774
Red hair, red dress, red vodka,
And for the entertainment...
174
00:08:28,841 --> 00:08:30,476
Who the [bleep] Are simply red?
175
00:08:30,543 --> 00:08:32,945
>> I thought they'd fit your
Theme, darling!
176
00:08:33,011 --> 00:08:34,547
>> don't screw this up, geez.
177
00:08:34,614 --> 00:08:35,448
Oh, my gosh!
178
00:08:35,514 --> 00:08:38,150
This party is going to be off
The hizook!
179
00:08:38,217 --> 00:08:40,886
So I'm creating super-special
Invitations!
180
00:08:40,953 --> 00:08:42,822
>> thanks for the invite, annie.
181
00:08:42,889 --> 00:08:45,191
>> um, you didn't get an
Invitation.
182
00:08:45,258 --> 00:08:46,692
You are the invitation.
183
00:08:46,759 --> 00:08:47,894
Isn't that clever?
184
00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:49,262
Your own little orphan.
185
00:08:49,328 --> 00:08:50,529
Daddy is so stupid.
186
00:08:50,596 --> 00:08:54,033
I told him that for my birthday
I wanted the two round objects I
187
00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:57,436
Seem to be missing, and he got
Me a boob job!
188
00:08:57,503 --> 00:08:59,772
Unh-unh, no peeking.
189
00:08:59,839 --> 00:09:02,675
These suns will come out
Tomorrow.
190
00:09:02,742 --> 00:09:05,244
So I took daddy to the car
Dealership to pick out my
191
00:09:05,311 --> 00:09:06,245
Birthday gift.
192
00:09:06,312 --> 00:09:08,915
>> well, annie, how about a
Little red corvette?
193
00:09:08,981 --> 00:09:10,449
>> I want a big red corvette!
194
00:09:10,516 --> 00:09:11,284
>> okay.
195
00:09:11,350 --> 00:09:13,152
>> with huge diamonds for
Headlights!
196
00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:13,920
>> sure thing.
197
00:09:13,986 --> 00:09:15,087
>> and solid-gold seats!
198
00:09:15,154 --> 00:09:16,155
>> of course, my dear.
199
00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:18,524
>> and a...Really big...
200
00:09:18,591 --> 00:09:20,660
>> bring it on, baby!
201
00:09:20,726 --> 00:09:23,996
I'm daddy [bleep] Warbucks!
202
00:09:24,063 --> 00:09:26,899
>> [ gasps ]
This is not red velvet cake!
203
00:09:26,966 --> 00:09:30,202
How can you suck at so many jobs
When it's in your name,
204
00:09:30,269 --> 00:09:33,372
"Pun-job"?!
205
00:09:33,439 --> 00:09:34,507
>> [bleep] That girl!
206
00:09:34,573 --> 00:09:36,909
[ dance music plays ]
>> happy birthday, annie!
207
00:09:36,976 --> 00:09:39,912
>> I got my hair straightened so
That just for, like, once I
208
00:09:39,979 --> 00:09:42,114
Didn't look like a 75-year-old
Retiree.
209
00:09:42,181 --> 00:09:43,449
>> you're so right.
210
00:09:43,516 --> 00:09:46,118
You did look like a 75-year-old
Retiree.
211
00:09:46,185 --> 00:09:48,287
[ music stops ]
>> get the [bleep] Out of my
212
00:09:48,354 --> 00:09:49,355
Party!
213
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:53,326
[ music continues ]
>> she was a big hit on the red
214
00:09:53,392 --> 00:09:55,328
Carpet!
215
00:09:55,394 --> 00:09:59,231
>> I saw her other red carpet,
More like a welcome mat.
216
00:09:59,298 --> 00:10:02,335
>> my present had better be
Huge, old man!
217
00:10:02,401 --> 00:10:06,906
>> annie, I've gotten you the
Biggest, reddest gift money can
218
00:10:06,973 --> 00:10:08,407
Buy...
219
00:10:08,474 --> 00:10:09,742
Mars!
220
00:10:09,809 --> 00:10:14,580
[ crowd cheers ]
>> this has been the sweetest
221
00:10:14,647 --> 00:10:18,751
Sweet 16 ever!
222
00:10:18,818 --> 00:10:20,419
Ugh! Mars sucks!
223
00:10:20,486 --> 00:10:23,589
[ buzzing ]
Sandy, is that you?
224
00:10:23,656 --> 00:10:25,524
Wait! Come back!
225
00:10:25,591 --> 00:10:30,529
[ grunts ]
[ screaming ]
226
00:10:30,596 --> 00:10:32,264
[ cre-e-e-e-ak! ]
>> ♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
227
00:10:35,501 --> 00:10:37,937
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
228
00:10:38,004 --> 00:10:39,939
Bawk bawk ♪
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
229
00:10:40,006 --> 00:10:42,274
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
230
00:10:42,341 --> 00:10:44,110
Bawk bawk ♪
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
231
00:10:44,176 --> 00:10:46,445
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
232
00:10:46,512 --> 00:10:56,489
Bawk bawk ♪
Ba-gawk! Bawk.
233
00:10:56,555 --> 00:10:57,556
Bawk bawk ♪
Ba-gawk! Bawk.
16714
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