Original subtitles

It's alive!

Gummy Bear, Gummy Bear

Aaaaaaahh!

Cock sucking mother fucking...

Aaaaaaaahhh!

Oh, I guess there's only one way out of this.

Mmm!

Goodness, I taste delicious!

That wasn't bad at all.

Aaaaaaahhh!

Gummy Bears... for candy this delicious,

you'll chew off your own leg!

Aaaah!

Aah!

Aah! Aaaah!

Aah!

Uhh...

Eh...

Uh...

Bawk and also and also also also also.

Lump. Lump.

Also... also. also also also!

Also, also, also. Also ba-ba ba-gawk.

Ba-gawk? Ba-ga too.

Lump?

Also ba-gawk also?

Bawk also and also.

Also ba-gawk?

Also... ba... ba.

Uh...

Bawk also ba-bawk!

Also ba-gawk?

Ba-gawk, also also.

Also ba-gawk ba ba also

also ba also ba.

Lump.

Bawk too too!

They are gawking.

Bawk ba too!

They are gawking!

Bawk too!

Ba-ba-bag-gawk!

Bawk ba-bawk!

Also ba-gawk!

Ba also.

Bawk ba-gawk ba-bawk

They gawk!

Bawk too!

Ba-ba-bawk! Lump!

lump!

They are also.

Bawk also ba ba!

Ba ba too!

Also ba-gawk?

Bawk also ba also.

Baw ba-ba ba-gawk.

Bawk ba-gawk, ba-ba ba-gawk ba

also, ba also ba-gawk also ba ba-gawk!

Bawk ba too!

Lump.

Also ba-gawk.

Also ba-gawk.

Bawk ba-bawk?!

Ba bawk ba-gawk ba-gawk.

Bawk ba-gawk!

Ba too! Ba too!

Bawk ba-gawk! Ba-bawk!

Bawk too too!

Bawk ba-gawk!

Ba-gawk ba-gawk?

Bawk also, debt ba-gawk.

Bawk ba also, also and also ba-gawk.

Bawk ba also, also ba-gawk.

Bawk-bawk too!

Lump!

Also, too, too!

Ba-bawk ba-gawk!

Also ba-gaaaaaaa!

Ba-gawk.

Mr. President, please accept this gift

on behalf of the Chinese people.

Thanks, Ching-chong.

There are very important instructions

regarding its care and feeding.

We once gave a Mogwai to American teenager,

and the results were catastrophic.

But surely the leader of the free... free.

Yeah, all right, then.

Howdy, little critter!

Some people call him a gremlin.

Well, the name of this

grumblin's gonna be Froot Loop.

Ooh!

Ha ha ha! I'm gonna get you!

Ha ha ha!

I'm gonna smoke you out.

Don't tell nobody we're eating this.

Hmm...

Who wants to step up to the "Qbert" table

and have their furry butt kicked?

Oh, sweet, baby Jesus how did this happen?!

Ow! My heart!

Ah, go get 'em, Cheney.

Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah!

Aaah!

Aw, dang it!

Who says they get to have all the fun, right, Froot Loop?

Yahoo!

Uh...

Them grumblins did it.

Oopsy! I lost!

Take it off, Jenna, you stupid whore!

Shut up!

I wanted to lose anyway!

Look at my boobs!

But we're related.

Identical!

Hey, they're having a pants-off dance off.

Come on, Froot Loop!

Mr. President, it's armageddon!

I love that movie.

No! The world is doomed!

It's a nuclear holocaust!

So if I pissed on a spark plug, would it do any good?

Oh, George, I'm so hungry.

Oh, don't worry, honey.

We'll just eat Froot Loop.

Oh, Froot Loop, I'm just kidding.

We'll eat Cheney.

Help!

I've fallen, and I can't get up!

I said I've fallen...

Medicalert at your service!

Oh, thank goodness.

You see, I've fallen, and I can't get...

uh...

Mister? Sir?

My things are...

what are you doi...

Over the years, J.C. Has lost a lot of girlfriends.

You know, I think it's wrong for anybody to be stoned.

What a downer.

But there's one thing he never lost.

Jesus Christ!

Are you a virgin?

Oh, you are hilarious.

Who wants more of my blood?

How can you go 33 years and not have sex?

Dude, my dad is always watching.

We got to help the man, highlight his attributes,

get rid of that pelt on his chest.

Ohh! Jim Caviezel!

Let's hang on to that.

You got to go somewhere where there's lots of girls.

This summer comes a film that will touch you...

Hi, I'm Mary.

I've got healing hands.

Oh, yeah? So do I.

...like you've never been touched before.

Ooh, looks like you're ready for a second coming.

Toss a ball and put me to death.

It's something that I want and something you want to do.

Looking for somebody with a good arm to put me in the grave.

Three balls just to put me in...

yeah, let the boy do it!

No, no, no, no! Aw, damn it.

What about you, sir?

What about you, miss?

So, remember, kids, be careful when using matches.

Smokey?

Yeah, kid?

How did you get your name?

Well...

Smokey, you always got the best weed!

Hello, little paw.

I see you.

Hello-o-o.

There you are!

We finally got you, Smokey!

Downer patrol.

Don't take me now.

I just put a turkey in the oven.

Turkey... what?

You don't have any...

My baby!

7 million hours of community service!

Only you can prevent forest fires.

Got my name in better times, kid.

Much better times.

Greetings, heroes!

Smilin' Stan Lee here along with Stripperella herself,

the pulchritudinous pinup princess Pam Anderson!

Get ready for the hottest superhero news

and the sexiest superhero gossip.

No one batted an eye when Captain America

killed 10, 000 nazis with his bare hands.

But now a little collateral damage

has cap in hot water with the A.C.L.U.

Investments!

Ow!

Ai!

Oh! Aah!

Ah ga ga goo!

Wha?!

Oh, all that pain and suffering.

Pain and suffering?

Try watching the movie "Catwoman. "

Zing!

Galactic Historian "The Watcher" was arrested

Wednesday after his eyes bit off a check his butt couldn't cash.

But I'm the watcher.

I was just watching.

You're a big-headed pervert!

Say, Stan, have you heard of Paris Hilton?

Say, Pam, ever hung from a ceiling fan while

your partner sat on a paint mixer?

The hard-partying celebutante

has found love with the unlikeliest of partners,

Superman's evil opposite, Bizarro.

Bizarro hate Paris!

Hate her very little!

Oh, isn't he the cutest?

Paris crotch smell very sweet!

Paris vagina very tight!

What?

In other news, me not want bury face in Pam's funbags!

Uh... he's off-card again.

Should I...

after a long career of abject failure

as the Justice League's most impotent member,

Aquaman finally has a new career.

Oh, no!

I've trapped my foot in some seaweed!

Help me, my aquatic comrades!

Now!

As a whaling industry consultant,

Aquaman's new job nets him a six-figure income,

full benefits, and all the whale he can eat.

And now a word from our super sponsors.

Oh, I'm so embarrassed.

I want a divorce.

Did somebody say flaccid?

Hourman!

I was just plain old Rex Tyler

until I discovered a pill that gave me

superhuman abilities for one full hour.

Now, thanks to Rigidol,

you can punch out erectile dysfunction

and become an Hourman just like me!

Whoa!

Oh, God!

You're my Hourman, baby!

Yes! Yes!

Yes!

Oh, baby!

Merciful heavens!

Oh, baby, that's it!

Oh! Oh! Ohh!

If you become Four-hour man, see a doctor.

What's the latest superhero gossip?

I ask the questions here, Boobinator.

So, what's the latest superhero gossip?

Paparazzi nabbed Spider-man emerging

from the home of Miss May Parker, age 77.

Is it a "May"- December romance?

A marriage of convenience?

One spidey supervillain had a different take.

Take that, Spider-man!

And that!

I told you, I'm not that horrible Spider-man!

I'm a widow on fixed income!

I read the tabloids, Spider-man!

I know who you are!

"Oh! Ho ho ho!

My poor old broken hip!"

"Ha ha ha!

I'll get you now!"

"Okay, show's over.

Now let me show you my kung-fu grope. "

"Get off me, you creepy comic-book guy!"

Stan, honey, dinner's getting cold!

Zounds!

I'm caught!

But they'll never take me alive.

Excelsior!

Stan!

also also

also also

also also

Ba-gawk! Bawk.

Stan, who is The Watcher?

The Watcher sits on the moon and watches things,

just like the Punisher punishes things, and the Shocker...

Moving on!