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Webvtt
X-timestamp-map=local:00:00:00.000,mpegts:9000
00:00:03.236 --> 00:00:04.571 line:21% position:35% size:48%
>> "Robot chicken."
00:00:04.637 --> 00:00:07.974 line:21% position:10% size:68% align:start
For 100 episodes, they've
Defiled every entertainment
00:00:08.041 --> 00:00:09.776 line:21% position:45% size:70%
Brand in the known universe.
00:00:09.843 --> 00:00:12.512 line:21% position:23% size:78% align:start
[ ting! ]
Now their greatest challenge --
00:00:12.579 --> 00:00:16.483 line:21% position:10% size:80% align:start
Riding the coattails of the most
Iconic characters of all time,
00:00:16.549 --> 00:00:18.184 line:21% position:50% size:65%
Not counting harry potter.
00:00:18.251 --> 00:00:20.019 line:21% position:50% size:65%
The dc comics superheroes!
00:00:20.086 --> 00:00:22.722 line:21% position:10% size:70% align:start
Some of them more super than
Others.
00:00:22.789 --> 00:00:24.691 line:21% position:50% size:70%
That guy just talks to fish.
00:00:24.758 --> 00:00:26.726 line:21% position:20% size:18%
>> hey!
00:00:26.793 --> 00:00:28.595 line:21% position:10% size:33% align:start
[ bam! Bam! ]
[ clonk! ]
00:00:35.635 --> 00:00:37.437 line:79% position:23% size:23%
[ whap! ]
[ plop! ]
00:00:44.577 --> 00:00:52.051 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start
This is the "Robot chicken
Dc comics special" -- #rcdc.
00:00:52.118 --> 00:00:53.386 line:85% position:50% size:75%
>> oh, boy! The invisible jet!
00:00:53.453 --> 00:00:54.053 line:85% position:25% size:30%
>> hurry up!
00:00:54.120 --> 00:00:54.954 line:85% position:35% size:48%
>> let's go, buddy!
00:00:55.021 --> 00:00:55.555 line:85% position:25% size:28%
>> come on!
00:00:55.622 --> 00:00:56.122 line:85% position:28% size:35%
>> I'm coming!
00:00:56.189 --> 00:00:56.623 line:85% position:15% size:8%
Ow!
00:00:56.689 --> 00:00:57.290 line:85% position:23% size:25%
>> psyche!
00:00:57.357 --> 00:00:58.258 line:79% position:10% size:30% align:start
[ laughter ]
Ow!
00:00:58.324 --> 00:00:59.793 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
>> last one to the party can't
Fly.
00:00:59.859 --> 00:01:01.728 line:79% position:15% size:78% align:start
You're gonna be the last one to
The party.
00:01:01.795 --> 00:01:02.562 line:85% position:38% size:53%
'cause you can't fly.
00:01:02.629 --> 00:01:03.263 line:85% position:20% size:20%
>> fine.
00:01:03.329 --> 00:01:07.300 line:85% position:38% size:53%
I'll just swim there.
00:01:07.367 --> 00:01:10.904 line:79% position:10% size:38% align:start
[ sighs ]
>> silly punks.
00:01:10.970 --> 00:01:12.305 line:85% position:38% size:55%
Batman owns the night.
00:01:12.372 --> 00:01:14.574 line:79% position:10% size:55% align:start
Now taste fear, you --
Wait. Wait. What?
00:01:14.641 --> 00:01:15.975 line:85% position:20% size:20%
Oh, god!
00:01:16.042 --> 00:01:18.878 line:79% position:15% size:78% align:start
Oh, my back just snapped like a
Pack of uncooked spaghetti!
00:01:18.945 --> 00:01:22.449 line:79% position:48% size:75%
Oh, you just walk up and break
My back without saying a word!
00:01:22.515 --> 00:01:25.118 line:85% position:43% size:63%
Oh, boo! Boo on you, sir!
00:01:25.185 --> 00:01:32.158 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start
>> ♪ do do do-do, that's bane
>> and now...
00:01:32.225 --> 00:01:33.293 line:85% position:30% size:40%
>> hi! I'm b'dg.
00:01:33.359 --> 00:01:35.895 line:79% position:35% size:50%
I'm a member of the
Green lantern corps.
00:01:35.962 --> 00:01:37.697 line:85% position:50% size:73%
>> can you believe it, folks?
00:01:37.764 --> 00:01:40.934 line:85% position:33% size:43%
He really exists.
00:01:41.000 --> 00:01:42.035 line:85% position:20% size:20%
>> uh...
00:01:42.101 --> 00:01:44.471 line:79% position:10% size:65% align:start
Do you guys want me to say
Anything, or...?
00:01:44.537 --> 00:01:48.107 line:79% position:50% size:80%
>> tune in next time for another
Edition of "Real characters from
00:01:48.174 --> 00:01:49.509 line:85% position:33% size:43%
The dc universe."
00:01:49.576 --> 00:01:53.179 line:79% position:50% size:73%
>> lois, you helped me defeat
General zod -- "Superman ii."
00:01:53.246 --> 00:01:54.481 line:85% position:48% size:75%
But now you know I'm superman.
00:01:54.547 --> 00:01:56.349 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start
I-I have to kiss you and make
You forget.
00:01:56.416 --> 00:01:58.384 line:79% position:15% size:80% align:start
>> why would that be one of your
Superpowers?
00:01:58.451 --> 00:02:00.653 line:79% position:15% size:80% align:start
>> [ mockingly ] "Why would that
Be blah blah blah?"
00:02:00.720 --> 00:02:02.522 line:79% position:10% size:60% align:start
You should hear yourself
Sometimes, lois.
00:02:02.589 --> 00:02:04.324 line:79% position:28% size:33%
[ smooches ]
>> huh? What?
00:02:04.390 --> 00:02:07.627 line:79% position:50% size:68%
Why am I standing here with
Clark kent when I should be
00:02:07.694 --> 00:02:09.429 line:85% position:48% size:75%
Chasing the scoop on superman?
00:02:09.496 --> 00:02:11.998 line:79% position:10% size:68% align:start
>> I should really use that
Power more often.
00:02:12.065 --> 00:02:13.299 line:85% position:38% size:53%
>> my beautiful hair.
00:02:13.366 --> 00:02:15.735 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
I'll never forget how you took
It from me, superman --
00:02:15.802 --> 00:02:17.070 line:85% position:45% size:70%
adventure comics number 271.
00:02:17.136 --> 00:02:18.338 line:85% position:28% size:35%
>> oh, really?
00:02:18.404 --> 00:02:21.875 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start
>> superman! I'll destroy --
Wh-what are you doing?
00:02:21.941 --> 00:02:24.511 line:79% position:13% size:80% align:start
>> [ smooches ]
>> I-I can't remember why I hate
00:02:24.577 --> 00:02:25.178 line:85% position:15% size:10%
You.
00:02:25.245 --> 00:02:27.747 line:85% position:35% size:50%
>> oh, yeah. I know.
00:02:27.814 --> 00:02:31.284 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start
>> ♪ you might want to close
Your eyes ♪
00:02:31.351 --> 00:02:33.653 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start
♪ I'll run my fingers through
Your hair ♪
00:02:33.720 --> 00:02:37.457 line:79% position:50% size:65%
♪ and I'll kiss you, bro
♪ and you won't remember a
00:02:37.524 --> 00:02:41.895 line:79% position:10% size:60% align:start
Thing ♪
♪ don't try and run away
00:02:41.961 --> 00:02:43.329 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start
♪ I'm faster than a speeding
Bullet ♪
00:02:43.396 --> 00:02:44.564 line:85% position:43% size:63%
>> another job well done.
00:02:44.631 --> 00:02:46.032 line:79% position:10% size:65% align:start
>> ♪ and I'll catch you --
[ record scratches ]
00:02:46.099 --> 00:02:50.169 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start
>> ew. I should have thought
This through.
00:02:50.236 --> 00:02:54.407 line:85% position:20% size:18%
>> huh?
00:02:54.474 --> 00:02:57.443 line:85% position:15% size:10%
Huh?
00:02:57.510 --> 00:02:58.344 line:85% position:25% size:30%
>> oh, well.
00:02:58.411 --> 00:03:03.683 line:79% position:10% size:38% align:start
[ pants unzip ]
[ urinating ]
00:03:03.750 --> 00:03:05.418 line:85% position:15% size:8%
Eh!
00:03:05.485 --> 00:03:09.856 line:79% position:25% size:28%
[ farting ]
[ grunts ]
00:03:09.923 --> 00:03:14.093 line:79% position:23% size:25%
[ sighs ]
[ grunts ]
00:03:14.160 --> 00:03:16.329 line:79% position:10% size:50% align:start
[ sighs ]
Hey, how's it going?
00:03:16.396 --> 00:03:21.067 line:79% position:10% size:35% align:start
>> [ mutters ]
Oh, come on!
00:03:21.134 --> 00:03:23.202 line:79% position:45% size:70%
>> welcome, everyone, to the
Grand opening of our newest
00:03:23.269 --> 00:03:26.072 line:85% position:50% size:80%
Exhibit, the blue star of egypt.
00:03:26.139 --> 00:03:27.740 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start
[ crowd gasps ]
[ sighs ] All right, people.
00:03:27.807 --> 00:03:29.042 line:85% position:50% size:78%
We all know what's coming next.
00:03:29.108 --> 00:03:30.910 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start
Let's see if we can at least
Make it through a round of
00:03:30.977 --> 00:03:32.879 line:79% position:13% size:78% align:start
Hors d'oeuvres before the first
Supervillain shows up.
00:03:32.946 --> 00:03:34.280 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start
Apparently, there's a salmon
Bagel bite --
00:03:34.347 --> 00:03:35.415 line:85% position:38% size:53%
>> everybody, freeze!
00:03:35.481 --> 00:03:36.983 line:79% position:10% size:60% align:start
[ dramatic music plays ]
[ crowd screaming ]
00:03:37.050 --> 00:03:41.354 line:79% position:50% size:80%
Sorry to be so coldhearted, but
Mr. Freeze is stealing that ice.
00:03:41.421 --> 00:03:43.990 line:79% position:10% size:58% align:start
[ screaming continues ]
>> [ crunches ] Mmm!
00:03:44.057 --> 00:03:45.325 line:85% position:50% size:70%
I was not expecting paprika.
00:03:45.391 --> 00:03:48.595 line:85% position:48% size:73%
Mmm! A-plus effort, honestly.
00:03:48.661 --> 00:03:49.929 line:85% position:40% size:58%
>> everyone, chill out!
00:03:49.996 --> 00:03:52.999 line:79% position:15% size:78% align:start
[ dramatic music plays ]
Or captain cold will put you on
00:03:53.066 --> 00:03:53.533 line:85% position:15% size:10%
Ice!
00:03:53.600 --> 00:03:54.634 line:85% position:25% size:30%
Oh, come on!
00:03:54.701 --> 00:03:56.636 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
>> I thought we had a schedule
Worked out!
00:03:56.703 --> 00:03:57.570 line:85% position:30% size:38%
This is
my day!
00:03:57.637 --> 00:03:59.038 line:85% position:43% size:65%
>> I have a new assistant.
00:03:59.105 --> 00:04:01.274 line:85% position:45% size:70%
I-I'm still breaking him in.
00:04:01.341 --> 00:04:02.542 line:85% position:40% size:58%
>> everyone, stay cool!
00:04:02.609 --> 00:04:04.877 line:79% position:10% size:68% align:start
[ dramatic music plays ]
It's about to get downright
00:04:04.944 --> 00:04:09.482 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start
Bone-chilling in here, thanks
To...Icicle!
00:04:09.549 --> 00:04:11.718 line:79% position:10% size:63% align:start
Wow. I just walked into a
Cluster fuck huh?
00:04:11.784 --> 00:04:12.919 line:85% position:20% size:18%
>> mmm!
00:04:12.986 --> 00:04:14.721 line:79% position:13% size:78% align:start
You guys, you have to try these
Salmon thingies.
00:04:14.787 --> 00:04:16.155 line:85% position:40% size:58%
>> focus, captain cold.
00:04:16.222 --> 00:04:19.058 line:79% position:10% size:78% align:start
Clearly, there's not room for
Three cold-themed villains with
00:04:19.125 --> 00:04:20.426 line:85% position:25% size:30%
Freeze rays.
00:04:20.493 --> 00:04:22.762 line:79% position:48% size:73%
>> I guess you two snow jobs
Will have to change gimmicks,
00:04:22.829 --> 00:04:23.496 line:85% position:18% size:13%
Then.
00:04:23.563 --> 00:04:24.597 line:85% position:40% size:58%
>> it's not my gimmick!
00:04:24.664 --> 00:04:26.766 line:79% position:10% size:65% align:start
I'll literally die in warm
Temperatures.
00:04:26.833 --> 00:04:29.802 line:79% position:10% size:78% align:start
My cryogenically frozen wife is
My entire reason for living.
00:04:29.869 --> 00:04:32.639 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start
My name is victor fries, for
God's sake.
00:04:32.705 --> 00:04:35.308 line:79% position:50% size:78%
>> it's "Freeze," but you spell
It "Fries," like french fries.
00:04:35.375 --> 00:04:35.908 line:85% position:18% size:15%
Weird.
00:04:35.975 --> 00:04:37.210 line:85% position:30% size:38%
>> it's german.
00:04:37.276 --> 00:04:40.113 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start
>> well, I ain't changing, ya
Dicks.
00:04:40.179 --> 00:04:41.347 line:85% position:35% size:50%
>> everyone, freeze!
00:04:41.414 --> 00:04:42.615 line:85% position:35% size:50%
Oh, for fuck's sake!
00:04:42.682 --> 00:04:45.284 line:79% position:10% size:68% align:start
>> ohh! I completely forgot
About chillblaine.
00:04:45.351 --> 00:04:46.786 line:85% position:43% size:65%
>> you
and america, buddy.
00:04:46.853 --> 00:04:50.123 line:79% position:15% size:80% align:start
>> it took me six years of
Research to build my freeze ray.
00:04:50.189 --> 00:04:52.925 line:79% position:15% size:78% align:start
How do you high-school dropouts
Keep making them?
00:04:52.992 --> 00:04:56.562 line:79% position:50% size:80%
Are they as easy to build as ham
Radios and I'm just an asshole?!
00:04:56.629 --> 00:04:59.699 line:79% position:13% size:78% align:start
>> uh, guys, we've demolished a
Lot of load-bearing walls in
00:04:59.766 --> 00:05:01.067 line:85% position:18% size:13%
Here.
00:05:01.134 --> 00:05:03.670 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
>> well, those villains are
Going to the cooler, thanks to
00:05:03.736 --> 00:05:08.007 line:79% position:10% size:65% align:start
Ice and her amazing freeze
Powers.
00:05:08.074 --> 00:05:10.476 line:79% position:10% size:55% align:start
[ siren chirps, dies ]
Cool!
00:05:10.543 --> 00:05:13.279 line:79% position:13% size:78% align:start
>> I'm glad you guys could come
All the way to earth-c.
00:05:13.346 --> 00:05:16.215 line:79% position:13% size:78% align:start
>> me and captain carrot didn't
See eye to eye on a lot of
00:05:16.282 --> 00:05:18.584 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
Things, but no one deserved to
Die like that.
00:05:18.651 --> 00:05:21.487 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start
>> I never met the captain or
His zoo crew, but since you
00:05:21.554 --> 00:05:27.760 line:79% position:10% size:78% align:start
Vouched for him, I'm glad to be
Here in their time of need.
00:05:27.827 --> 00:05:32.165 line:79% position:10% size:65% align:start
[ car door opens, closes ]
>> [ giggling ]
00:05:32.231 --> 00:05:34.434 line:79% position:10% size:80% align:start
Why didn't you tell me they look
Like cartoons?
00:05:34.500 --> 00:05:35.968 line:85% position:18% size:13%
Wait.
00:05:36.035 --> 00:05:38.604 line:79% position:10% size:43% align:start
[ clears throat ]
I'm good.
00:05:38.671 --> 00:05:41.507 line:79% position:10% size:48% align:start
[ laughs ]
Damn it! I'm sorry.
00:05:41.574 --> 00:05:43.409 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start
>> if you can't keep it
Together, you need to leave.
00:05:43.476 --> 00:05:44.677 line:85% position:33% size:45%
>> I know. I know.
00:05:44.744 --> 00:05:47.814 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
For the love of --
It's a turtle wearing goggles!
00:05:47.880 --> 00:05:49.248 line:85% position:38% size:53%
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
00:05:49.315 --> 00:05:52.685 line:79% position:10% size:53% align:start
[ taps plays ]
[ stifling laughter ]
00:05:52.752 --> 00:05:57.757 line:79% position:10% size:25% align:start
[ grunts ]
I'm s--
00:05:57.824 --> 00:06:00.126 line:79% position:10% size:48% align:start
I'm sor--
It's just...That...
00:06:00.193 --> 00:06:01.494 line:85% position:30% size:40%
He looks so sad.
00:06:01.561 --> 00:06:04.864 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start
>> [ snorts ]
>> [ laughing ] I can't -- I
00:06:04.931 --> 00:06:06.466 line:85% position:35% size:48%
Can't -- I'm sorry.
00:06:06.532 --> 00:06:09.335 line:85% position:20% size:20%
I can't!
00:06:09.402 --> 00:06:11.104 line:79% position:10% size:58% align:start
>> your friend was very
Inappropriate.
00:06:11.170 --> 00:06:12.705 line:79% position:10% size:45% align:start
>> we're so sorry,
Little cheese.
00:06:12.772 --> 00:06:14.240 line:85% position:50% size:75%
>> [ laughs ] "Little cheese."
00:06:14.307 --> 00:06:16.642 line:79% position:45% size:68%
>> I just don't see how you
Could let it get this bad.
00:06:16.709 --> 00:06:17.877 line:85% position:45% size:70%
>> it's a swamp thing, baby.
00:06:17.944 --> 00:06:19.245 line:85% position:40% size:60%
You wouldn't understand.
00:06:19.312 --> 00:06:20.680 line:85% position:20% size:18%
>> ahh.
00:06:20.747 --> 00:06:23.282 line:79% position:15% size:80% align:start
Bane broke my back, but years of
Training allowed me to heal in
00:06:23.349 --> 00:06:24.484 line:85% position:25% size:30%
Record time.
00:06:24.550 --> 00:06:27.019 line:79% position:18% size:78% align:start
Now let's see what the joker --
Oh, my god, no!
00:06:27.086 --> 00:06:28.221 line:79% position:10% size:25% align:start
[ crack! ]
Aah!
00:06:28.287 --> 00:06:29.989 line:85% position:48% size:75%
Like a string of firecrackers!
00:06:30.056 --> 00:06:31.357 line:85% position:30% size:40%
My fucking back!
00:06:31.424 --> 00:06:34.360 line:79% position:45% size:70%
I felt the soles of my feet
Touch the back of my head on
00:06:34.427 --> 00:06:35.528 line:85% position:23% size:23%
That one!
00:06:35.595 --> 00:06:41.267 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start
>> ♪ do do do-do, that's bane
>> and now...
00:06:41.334 --> 00:06:43.069 line:85% position:50% size:73%
>> hey, there. I'm firestorm.
00:06:43.136 --> 00:06:44.871 line:85% position:50% size:73%
>> can you believe it, folks?
00:06:44.937 --> 00:06:46.839 line:85% position:50% size:80%
Take a good look at this douche!
00:06:46.906 --> 00:06:49.675 line:85% position:35% size:48%
>> I'm...Firestorm.
00:06:49.742 --> 00:06:50.710 line:85% position:30% size:40%
The nuclear man.
00:06:50.777 --> 00:06:52.311 line:85% position:45% size:70%
I was in the justice league.
00:06:52.378 --> 00:06:54.580 line:79% position:10% size:78% align:start
>> his hair is actually made of
Fire.
00:06:54.647 --> 00:06:57.550 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start
Bet he blows through his comb
Budget pretty quickly.
00:06:57.617 --> 00:06:59.085 line:85% position:43% size:65%
>> but I'm really popular.
00:06:59.152 --> 00:07:02.121 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
>> we'll be back next time for
"Real characters of the dc
00:07:02.188 --> 00:07:03.089 line:85% position:23% size:25%
Universe."
00:07:03.156 --> 00:07:04.524 line:79% position:10% size:65% align:start
>> what are we doing here,
Lantern?
00:07:04.590 --> 00:07:05.525 line:85% position:38% size:53%
>> what's the matter?
00:07:05.591 --> 00:07:06.959 line:79% position:10% size:68% align:start
You a little rusty with the
Ladies?
00:07:07.026 --> 00:07:10.797 line:79% position:50% size:78%
>> ha! If anyone's gonna score
Tonight, it's the man of steel.
00:07:10.863 --> 00:07:13.633 line:79% position:50% size:70%
>> haven't you been courting
Lois lane for like 15 years?
00:07:13.699 --> 00:07:14.767 line:85% position:38% size:53%
>> do you
ever score?
00:07:14.834 --> 00:07:17.203 line:85% position:35% size:48%
>> watch and learn.
00:07:17.270 --> 00:07:19.939 line:79% position:50% size:78%
"Hey, ladies, you look like you
Could use a non-threatening guy
00:07:20.006 --> 00:07:21.841 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start
Pal who will never push your
Boundaries."
00:07:21.908 --> 00:07:24.377 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
>> "And while you're at it,
Could you cosign my loan for a
00:07:24.443 --> 00:07:26.078 line:79% position:10% size:50% align:start
Late model corolla?"
>> "Got a pen?"
00:07:26.145 --> 00:07:30.650 line:79% position:10% size:63% align:start
[ both laugh ]
>> [ laughing ] Oh! Ouch!
00:07:30.716 --> 00:07:33.052 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
>> not even I could get to the
Friend zone
that fast.
00:07:33.119 --> 00:07:35.888 line:79% position:50% size:78%
>> class is in session, people,
As soon as I get this suit off.
00:07:35.955 --> 00:07:37.156 line:85% position:45% size:70%
>> hold on there, moneybags.
00:07:37.223 --> 00:07:38.457 line:85% position:50% size:70%
You got to do it in costume.
00:07:38.524 --> 00:07:39.659 line:85% position:43% size:65%
>> yeah, that's the rules.
00:07:39.725 --> 00:07:40.827 line:85% position:48% size:73%
We all have to be in costume.
00:07:40.893 --> 00:07:41.661 line:85% position:20% size:20%
>> wha?!
00:07:41.727 --> 00:07:43.563 line:85% position:50% size:73%
I'm dressed like a giant bat!
00:07:43.629 --> 00:07:44.530 line:85% position:35% size:48%
Well fuck you guys.
00:07:44.597 --> 00:07:45.832 line:85% position:35% size:48%
I'm getting wasted.
00:07:45.898 --> 00:07:48.568 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start
>> got a couple piña coladas
Here, just for the ladies.
00:07:48.634 --> 00:07:50.970 line:79% position:10% size:80% align:start
>> looks like you could use some
Just for men.
00:07:51.037 --> 00:07:53.339 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
[ both laugh ]
>> and you bitches can pay for
00:07:53.406 --> 00:07:56.542 line:85% position:30% size:40%
Your own drinks.
00:07:56.609 --> 00:07:59.545 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start
>> name's aquaman, and I know
How to talk to tuna.
00:07:59.612 --> 00:08:01.547 line:79% position:25% size:30%
[ babbling ]
[ warble! ]
00:08:01.614 --> 00:08:02.715 line:85% position:38% size:53%
M-martian manhunter?!
00:08:02.782 --> 00:08:03.883 line:85% position:35% size:50%
What are you doing?!
00:08:03.950 --> 00:08:06.285 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start
>> I have a life outside the
Team, you know.
00:08:06.352 --> 00:08:08.187 line:79% position:10% size:50% align:start
[ laughter ]
>> you're the worst.
00:08:08.254 --> 00:08:09.655 line:85% position:45% size:68%
>> aquaman got manhunter'd!
00:08:09.722 --> 00:08:10.823 line:85% position:38% size:53%
>> you are the worst.
00:08:10.890 --> 00:08:11.924 line:85% position:35% size:48%
>> I'm out of here.
00:08:11.991 --> 00:08:13.860 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start
There's plenty of fish in the
Sea!
00:08:13.926 --> 00:08:16.329 line:79% position:10% size:63% align:start
>> did he mean that
Metaphorically or, uh...?
00:08:16.395 --> 00:08:17.864 line:79% position:30% size:38%
>> [ babbles ]
>> [ chitters ]
00:08:17.930 --> 00:08:19.832 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start
>> [ scoffs ]
I do not just call when I've
00:08:19.899 --> 00:08:20.733 line:85% position:28% size:35%
Been drinking.
00:08:20.800 --> 00:08:23.336 line:79% position:30% size:38%
>> [ chitters ]
>> [ babbles ]
00:08:23.402 --> 00:08:26.005 line:79% position:10% size:50% align:start
>> meanwhile, at the
Legion of doom...
00:08:26.072 --> 00:08:29.942 line:79% position:50% size:78%
>> and this new plan will crush
The justice league once and for
00:08:30.009 --> 00:08:31.410 line:85% position:15% size:10%
All.
00:08:31.477 --> 00:08:34.380 line:79% position:50% size:78%
But more importantly, it's time
To draw names for secret santa!
00:08:34.447 --> 00:08:37.016 line:79% position:10% size:68% align:start
[ villains groan ]
It's team-building, people.
00:08:37.083 --> 00:08:38.451 line:85% position:45% size:70%
>> shake it up. Shake it up.
00:08:38.517 --> 00:08:39.185 line:85% position:20% size:18%
Mm-hmm.
00:08:39.252 --> 00:08:40.519 line:85% position:40% size:58%
>> I got leonard snart.
00:08:40.586 --> 00:08:41.721 line:85% position:35% size:50%
Who's leonard snart?
00:08:41.787 --> 00:08:44.290 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start
Is he the kid in the mailroom
With the b.O.?
00:08:44.357 --> 00:08:47.393 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start
Every day, I'm like, "I smell
The mail coming," and sure
00:08:47.460 --> 00:08:49.328 line:79% position:10% size:53% align:start
Enough --
>> I'm leonard snart.
00:08:49.395 --> 00:08:49.996 line:85% position:18% size:15%
>> ah!
00:08:50.062 --> 00:08:52.331 line:85% position:35% size:48%
How could I forget?
00:08:52.398 --> 00:08:55.167 line:79% position:10% size:65% align:start
I think that kid's name is
Glenn.
00:08:55.234 --> 00:08:58.471 line:79% position:13% size:80% align:start
>> oh, somebody's going to get a
Big surprise!
00:08:58.537 --> 00:09:01.040 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
[ laughs ]
>> oh, and new rule this year,
00:09:01.107 --> 00:09:02.675 line:85% position:50% size:78%
Everybody -- no exploding toys.
00:09:02.742 --> 00:09:03.876 line:85% position:20% size:18%
>> hey!
00:09:03.943 --> 00:09:06.445 line:79% position:10% size:65% align:start
I'm literally the only one
Affected by that rule!
00:09:06.512 --> 00:09:09.849 line:79% position:48% size:73%
>> I still have a scar in my
Forehead from christmas 2004,
00:09:09.916 --> 00:09:11.017 line:85% position:33% size:45%
You dumb butthole.
00:09:11.083 --> 00:09:13.286 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start
>> it's -- it's how I express
Love.
00:09:13.352 --> 00:09:14.787 line:85% position:48% size:73%
>> has everyone drawn a name?
00:09:14.854 --> 00:09:16.188 line:79% position:10% size:30% align:start
[ sniffs ]
Oh. Oh, god!
00:09:16.255 --> 00:09:18.190 line:79% position:10% size:53% align:start
Wh-what smells like a
Turd-lover's pizza?
00:09:18.257 --> 00:09:19.225 line:85% position:28% size:33%
>> hey, guys.
00:09:19.292 --> 00:09:21.260 line:79% position:18% size:80% align:start
We doing secret santa again this
Year?
00:09:21.327 --> 00:09:25.364 line:79% position:10% size:65% align:start
[ villains mumble ]
Oh! Noncommittal mumbling.
00:09:25.431 --> 00:09:28.567 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
Yeah, it's the gift that keeps
On giving.
00:09:28.634 --> 00:09:35.041 line:79% position:20% size:80% align:start
>> [ coughs ]
>> I have a glandular condition,
00:09:35.107 --> 00:09:35.775 line:85% position:23% size:23%
You guys!
00:09:35.841 --> 00:09:37.009 line:85% position:35% size:48%
It is not my fault!
00:09:37.076 --> 00:09:38.444 line:85% position:40% size:58%
You think I don't try?!
00:09:38.511 --> 00:09:41.113 line:85% position:35% size:48%
I shower every day!
00:09:41.180 --> 00:09:47.153 line:79% position:10% size:48% align:start
[ sniffles ]
I shower every day!
00:09:47.219 --> 00:09:49.021 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start
[ wheels squeaking ]
>> learn more about glenn and
00:09:54.327 --> 00:09:56.796 line:79% position:48% size:73%
His battle against body odor,
Right after these commercial
00:09:56.862 --> 00:09:58.664 line:85% position:23% size:23%
Messages.
00:10:03.336 --> 00:10:06.038 line:79% position:50% size:78%
Any way that makes sense of it,
So I'll just give you the facts
00:10:06.105 --> 00:10:07.273 line:85% position:30% size:38%
As I have them.
00:10:07.340 --> 00:10:10.776 line:79% position:10% size:78% align:start
Glenn killed himself during the
Commercial break.
00:10:10.843 --> 00:10:11.577 line:85% position:23% size:25%
>> my god!
00:10:11.644 --> 00:10:12.745 line:85% position:30% size:38%
What was that?!
00:10:12.812 --> 00:10:16.782 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
>> I don't know, but I'll find
Out, mr. Jordan.
00:10:16.849 --> 00:10:20.753 line:79% position:10% size:63% align:start
>> [ munches ]
>> whoa! This is so cool!
00:10:20.820 --> 00:10:23.656 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start
Not quite "Independence day"
Cool, but much cooler than
00:10:23.723 --> 00:10:25.124 line:85% position:43% size:65%
"Battle los angeles" cool.
00:10:25.191 --> 00:10:28.361 line:79% position:50% size:80%
If "Battle los angeles" was zero
Cool and "Independence day" was
00:10:28.427 --> 00:10:30.696 line:79% position:10% size:68% align:start
10 cool, then this would be
About a 7 cool!
00:10:30.763 --> 00:10:31.797 line:85% position:35% size:48%
>> I am abin sur...
00:10:31.864 --> 00:10:33.265 line:85% position:33% size:43%
>> it's a 9 cool.
00:10:33.332 --> 00:10:34.767 line:79% position:10% size:50% align:start
>> ...From the
Green lantern corps.
00:10:34.834 --> 00:10:35.701 line:85% position:38% size:55%
>> exposition! Yippee!
00:10:35.768 --> 00:10:36.936 line:85% position:50% size:78%
>> the ring, the cosmic ring...
00:10:37.003 --> 00:10:37.837 line:85% position:50% size:70%
>> oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh!
00:10:37.903 --> 00:10:38.938 line:85% position:25% size:30%
Oh, my gosh!
00:10:39.005 --> 00:10:40.339 line:79% position:13% size:78% align:start
>> ...Has chosen you as its new
Master...
00:10:40.406 --> 00:10:41.474 line:85% position:50% size:70%
>> oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh!
00:10:41.540 --> 00:10:43.676 line:85% position:35% size:48%
>> ...Hal jordan...
00:10:43.743 --> 00:10:46.245 line:79% position:13% size:80% align:start
>> hmm. Last words spoken in his
Native tongue.
00:10:46.312 --> 00:10:49.315 line:79% position:18% size:80% align:start
We'll tragically never know what
"Hal jordan" means in english.
00:10:49.382 --> 00:10:50.549 line:85% position:33% size:43%
What's this mean?
00:10:50.616 --> 00:10:53.019 line:79% position:15% size:80% align:start
It's glowing, and it seems to be
Taking over my --
00:10:53.085 --> 00:10:53.819 line:85% position:25% size:30%
Oh, my gosh!
00:10:53.886 --> 00:10:59.925 line:79% position:10% size:33% align:start
Oh, my --
[ screaming ]
00:10:59.992 --> 00:11:01.227 line:85% position:45% size:68%
>> hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
00:11:01.293 --> 00:11:02.495 line:85% position:25% size:28%
Okay. Okay.
00:11:02.561 --> 00:11:04.230 line:85% position:48% size:75%
Can you please stop screaming?
00:11:04.296 --> 00:11:06.866 line:79% position:10% size:55% align:start
>> [ screaming stops ]
>> ugh. Thank you.
00:11:06.932 --> 00:11:08.100 line:85% position:18% size:13%
Phew!
00:11:08.167 --> 00:11:11.604 line:79% position:13% size:78% align:start
[ clears throat ]
You will be trained to use your
00:11:11.670 --> 00:11:13.005 line:85% position:30% size:40%
Ring by kilowog.
00:11:13.072 --> 00:11:15.508 line:79% position:10% size:40% align:start
>> [ growls ]
>> [ screaming ]
00:11:15.574 --> 00:11:18.077 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
>> ooh, it's like scratching a
Chalkboard against another
00:11:18.144 --> 00:11:19.378 line:85% position:25% size:28%
Chalkboard.
00:11:19.445 --> 00:11:21.747 line:79% position:13% size:80% align:start
>> [ screaming stops ]
>> if you are attacked, the ring
00:11:21.814 --> 00:11:26.318 line:79% position:10% size:78% align:start
Will respond to your thoughts
And imagination to protect you.
00:11:26.385 --> 00:11:27.286 line:85% position:18% size:15%
Begin!
00:11:27.353 --> 00:11:30.489 line:79% position:10% size:53% align:start
[ warble! ]
>> cool! I dodged it!
00:11:30.556 --> 00:11:32.792 line:85% position:43% size:63%
Protect me, selena gomez!
00:11:32.858 --> 00:11:35.594 line:85% position:50% size:78%
>> I meant weapons, you poozer!
00:11:35.661 --> 00:11:36.996 line:85% position:28% size:33%
Hey, now! Ow!
00:11:37.063 --> 00:11:37.763 line:85% position:18% size:13%
Waah!
00:11:37.830 --> 00:11:42.768 line:79% position:10% size:28% align:start
[ warble! ]
>> ohh!
00:11:42.835 --> 00:11:43.903 line:85% position:15% size:10%
Ohh!
00:11:43.969 --> 00:11:47.440 line:79% position:25% size:28%
[ warble! ]
[ warble! ]
00:11:47.506 --> 00:11:49.942 line:85% position:15% size:10%
Ohh!
00:11:50.009 --> 00:11:53.112 line:79% position:10% size:80% align:start
>> I'm not sure that the
Earthlings are worthy of a ring.
00:11:53.179 --> 00:11:54.213 line:85% position:33% size:45%
>> make them kiss.
00:11:54.280 --> 00:11:55.915 line:85% position:50% size:78%
>> why, yes, it
is hot in here!
00:11:55.981 --> 00:11:59.418 line:79% position:18% size:80% align:start
>> I just hope they gave
Abin sur the burial he deserved.
00:11:59.485 --> 00:12:06.025 line:79% position:10% size:45% align:start
[ bears growling ]
>> [ roars ]
00:12:06.092 --> 00:12:08.928 line:79% position:50% size:73%
>> your enhanced strength and
Kryptonite lasers make you a
00:12:08.994 --> 00:12:12.465 line:79% position:10% size:60% align:start
Match for even superman,
Mr. Luthor.
00:12:12.531 --> 00:12:13.666 line:85% position:20% size:18%
>> yes.
00:12:13.732 --> 00:12:15.267 line:85% position:33% size:45%
A flawless design.
00:12:15.334 --> 00:12:16.435 line:85% position:15% size:8%
Ow!
00:12:16.502 --> 00:12:18.471 line:79% position:13% size:80% align:start
>> tyler, I told you not to play
Ball in here!
00:12:18.537 --> 00:12:19.905 line:85% position:43% size:63%
I'm so sorry, mr. Luthor.
00:12:19.972 --> 00:12:21.440 line:85% position:45% size:68%
I-it's my day to watch him.
00:12:21.507 --> 00:12:25.911 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start
>> just stop talking for one
Second!
00:12:25.978 --> 00:12:30.116 line:85% position:40% size:58%
>> ha ha! That tickles!
00:12:30.182 --> 00:12:34.520 line:79% position:10% size:68% align:start
What, uh -- what's going on
Here?
00:12:34.587 --> 00:12:37.523 line:79% position:50% size:78%
>> okay, just to be completely
Clear, all we're gonna do is go
00:12:37.590 --> 00:12:40.493 line:79% position:10% size:80% align:start
Over to the hall of justice,
Plant a nega-bomb, and kill them
00:12:40.559 --> 00:12:41.193 line:85% position:25% size:30%
All at once.
00:12:41.260 --> 00:12:41.927 line:85% position:33% size:43%
That's it, right?
00:12:41.994 --> 00:12:43.362 line:85% position:25% size:28%
>> exactly.
00:12:43.429 --> 00:12:45.764 line:79% position:10% size:80% align:start
And we're sneaking over at night
When it's dark, like sinestro
00:12:45.831 --> 00:12:46.432 line:85% position:18% size:13%
Said.
00:12:46.499 --> 00:12:47.900 line:85% position:35% size:50%
Great idea, 'nestro.
00:12:47.967 --> 00:12:51.070 line:79% position:50% size:80%
>> and it never hurts to leave a
Few riddles with embedded clues
00:12:51.137 --> 00:12:52.304 line:85% position:50% size:65%
On how to defuse the bomb.
00:12:52.371 --> 00:12:53.706 line:85% position:25% size:30%
Right, gang?
00:12:53.772 --> 00:12:56.175 line:79% position:10% size:78% align:start
>> look, eddie, we're not doing
The "Riddle" thing anymore.
00:12:56.242 --> 00:12:59.145 line:79% position:10% size:78% align:start
You don't have to get your dick
Prints over everything we do.
00:12:59.211 --> 00:13:03.782 line:79% position:10% size:78% align:start
>> but without my riddles, I
Might as well not even show up.
00:13:03.849 --> 00:13:05.151 line:85% position:18% size:13%
Fine!
00:13:05.217 --> 00:13:08.721 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
Riddle me this -- which losers
Are gonna be totally jealous
00:13:08.787 --> 00:13:12.458 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start
When
I defeat the jla without
Them?
00:13:12.525 --> 00:13:17.396 line:85% position:28% size:35%
It's
you guys!
00:13:17.463 --> 00:13:20.466 line:79% position:13% size:80% align:start
>> "Riddle me this -- who is the
Punctuation posse?"
00:13:20.533 --> 00:13:22.835 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start
>> perhaps
I can answer your
Question!
00:13:22.902 --> 00:13:25.304 line:79% position:10% size:60% align:start
[ sinister music plays ]
>> the riddler!
00:13:25.371 --> 00:13:27.072 line:85% position:48% size:75%
>> intense emotion, do I hear?
00:13:27.139 --> 00:13:28.941 line:85% position:50% size:80%
Then the exclaimer must be near.
00:13:29.008 --> 00:13:30.075 line:85% position:33% size:43%
>> the exclaimer?
00:13:30.142 --> 00:13:32.678 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start
Wait. Can we hit "Pause" here
For a second?
00:13:32.745 --> 00:13:34.380 line:85% position:48% size:73%
>> pausing is
my game, flash.
00:13:34.446 --> 00:13:35.748 line:85% position:43% size:63%
And the comma is my name.
00:13:35.814 --> 00:13:36.882 line:85% position:33% size:43%
>> oh, forget it!
00:13:36.949 --> 00:13:39.151 line:79% position:10% size:68% align:start
[ music stops ]
I'm shutting down this turd
00:13:39.218 --> 00:13:42.154 line:79% position:10% size:65% align:start
Factory before it gets any
Worse.
00:13:42.221 --> 00:13:44.390 line:85% position:50% size:78%
>> did someone use a quote yet?
00:13:44.456 --> 00:13:47.259 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start
We can't hear jack shit back
Here.
00:13:47.326 --> 00:13:50.729 line:79% position:48% size:75%
>> so, if we just turn off the
Lights when we leave a room --
00:13:50.796 --> 00:13:53.599 line:79% position:10% size:68% align:start
>> wait. They said bane had
Crippled me for life.
00:13:53.666 --> 00:13:56.702 line:79% position:18% size:78% align:start
But that monster isn't going to
Own me.
00:13:56.769 --> 00:13:58.571 line:85% position:23% size:23%
I'm back.
00:14:03.876 --> 00:14:04.510 line:85% position:25% size:28%
Oh, my god!
00:14:04.577 --> 00:14:05.678 line:85% position:38% size:55%
This is not happening!
00:14:05.744 --> 00:14:06.779 line:79% position:10% size:25% align:start
[ crack! ]
Aaah!
00:14:06.845 --> 00:14:08.614 line:79% position:10% size:68% align:start
Where were you guys on that
One?!
00:14:08.681 --> 00:14:09.715 line:85% position:35% size:50%
You just watched it!
00:14:09.782 --> 00:14:11.116 line:85% position:45% size:68%
This is a waking nightmare!
00:14:11.183 --> 00:14:15.654 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start
>> ♪ do do do-do, that's bane
>> but come on, guys.
00:14:15.721 --> 00:14:17.389 line:85% position:45% size:68%
I've had it since I was 13.
00:14:17.456 --> 00:14:20.492 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start
>> riddle me this,
Mirror master -- what's pink,
00:14:20.559 --> 00:14:22.328 line:85% position:48% size:73%
Quivering, and needs a shave?
00:14:22.394 --> 00:14:25.397 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start
>> two things -- sinestro and
Sinestro's vagina.
00:14:25.464 --> 00:14:26.265 line:85% position:23% size:23%
Let's go.
00:14:26.332 --> 00:14:30.469 line:85% position:50% size:78%
>> okay, okay. I'm gonna do it.
00:14:30.536 --> 00:14:31.203 line:85% position:20% size:18%
>> aah!
00:14:31.270 --> 00:14:32.137 line:85% position:40% size:58%
>> aah! Oh, oh, oh, oh!
00:14:32.204 --> 00:14:33.205 line:79% position:10% size:23% align:start
Aah fuck!
>> oh.
00:14:33.272 --> 00:14:34.173 line:85% position:33% size:45%
>> call 911, guys.
00:14:34.240 --> 00:14:35.808 line:79% position:10% size:68% align:start
>> oh, I'm not so good with
Blood.
00:14:35.874 --> 00:14:37.610 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start
>> gonna need more t.P. Here,
Fellas.
00:14:37.676 --> 00:14:38.844 line:85% position:43% size:65%
>> uh-oh. I'm out of here.
00:14:38.911 --> 00:14:39.612 line:85% position:35% size:50%
>> help me! Help me!
00:14:39.678 --> 00:14:40.913 line:85% position:15% size:10%
Aah.
00:14:40.980 --> 00:14:43.882 line:79% position:50% size:68%
>> riddle me this -- what's
Covered in question marks,
00:14:43.949 --> 00:14:46.085 line:85% position:50% size:80%
Sniffs glue, and was never here?
00:14:52.191 --> 00:14:54.026 line:79% position:10% size:50% align:start
>> meanwhile, at the
Hall of justice...
00:14:54.093 --> 00:14:56.562 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start
>> maybe the cruise ships
Wouldn't sink if they didn't
00:14:56.629 --> 00:14:59.064 line:79% position:15% size:78% align:start
Shove a quarter-ton of
Self-loathing into every cabin.
00:14:59.131 --> 00:15:00.866 line:79% position:10% size:60% align:start
>> how do they even wipe
Themselves?
00:15:00.933 --> 00:15:03.369 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start
>> ooh, someone say, "Cruise
Ship," like in the ocean?
00:15:03.435 --> 00:15:04.536 line:85% position:43% size:63%
Why didn't you invite me?
00:15:04.603 --> 00:15:06.605 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
>> oh, to tell the fish to get
Out of the way?
00:15:06.672 --> 00:15:07.740 line:85% position:40% size:60%
No, they figured it out.
00:15:07.806 --> 00:15:09.341 line:79% position:10% size:48% align:start
>> [ laughs ]
Nice one, superman.
00:15:09.408 --> 00:15:10.643 line:85% position:48% size:73%
>> oh, sorry, guys. Bad news.
00:15:10.709 --> 00:15:12.678 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
>> [ gasping ]
>> the toilet's still clogged.
00:15:12.745 --> 00:15:15.281 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
>> that was an ancient relic
Passed down from my ancestors!
00:15:15.347 --> 00:15:17.783 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
>> well, your ancestors didn't
Know crap about plumbing.
00:15:17.850 --> 00:15:19.785 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
>> but I've got friends coming
Over tonight!
00:15:19.852 --> 00:15:21.887 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
>> these lobsters walked right
Up to the door.
00:15:21.954 --> 00:15:22.621 line:85% position:28% size:35%
Anyone hungry?
00:15:22.688 --> 00:15:25.591 line:85% position:40% size:60%
>> the johnsons! Oh, no!
00:15:25.658 --> 00:15:28.160 line:85% position:48% size:73%
Ed johnson performed my bris!
00:15:28.227 --> 00:15:30.829 line:85% position:40% size:58%
>> aquaman, I hear you.
00:15:30.896 --> 00:15:32.331 line:85% position:48% size:75%
Can we still eat the lobsters?
00:15:32.398 --> 00:15:33.565 line:85% position:45% size:70%
>> somebody said, "Lobster"?
00:15:33.632 --> 00:15:34.667 line:85% position:28% size:33%
>> that's it!
00:15:34.733 --> 00:15:36.769 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
You treat me like I'm not even
On the team!
00:15:36.835 --> 00:15:39.538 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start
Every day, it's "Aqua loser"
This and "Aqua puss" that!
00:15:39.605 --> 00:15:40.406 line:85% position:35% size:50%
>> careful, aquaman.
00:15:40.472 --> 00:15:41.573 line:85% position:25% size:30%
Floor's wet.
00:15:41.640 --> 00:15:43.709 line:79% position:20% size:78% align:start
>> I am the king of the fucking
Ocean, cyborg!
00:15:43.776 --> 00:15:46.078 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
Do you think I've never seen a
Puddle before?!
00:15:46.145 --> 00:15:51.050 line:79% position:10% size:50% align:start
[ squeak! Thud! ]
Ow! Ow! My tailbone!
00:15:51.116 --> 00:15:55.154 line:85% position:43% size:65%
[ sobbing ] M-my tailbone.
00:15:55.220 --> 00:15:56.121 line:85% position:25% size:28%
Ow, please.
00:15:56.188 --> 00:15:57.389 line:85% position:30% size:40%
Need a hospital.
00:15:57.456 --> 00:15:59.391 line:85% position:45% size:70%
>> just use your aquamobile.
00:15:59.458 --> 00:16:02.094 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
>> how am I supposed to ride a
Sea-doo?
00:16:02.161 --> 00:16:06.865 line:79% position:10% size:58% align:start
[ door closes ]
[ sobbing ] That is it.
00:16:06.932 --> 00:16:08.434 line:85% position:25% size:28%
That is it!
00:16:08.500 --> 00:16:12.037 line:85% position:28% size:33%
>> and now...
00:16:12.104 --> 00:16:13.238 line:85% position:38% size:53%
>> why, hello, there.
00:16:13.305 --> 00:16:14.707 line:85% position:28% size:35%
I'm mr. Banjo.
00:16:14.773 --> 00:16:18.310 line:79% position:50% size:80%
I'll steal america's secrets and
Send them to foreign enemies by
00:16:18.377 --> 00:16:20.879 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
Playing morse code on my banjo
Playin'.
00:16:20.946 --> 00:16:23.515 line:85% position:40% size:60%
[ laughs ] That's right.
00:16:23.582 --> 00:16:25.617 line:85% position:28% size:35%
>> no. No way.
00:16:25.684 --> 00:16:28.153 line:79% position:10% size:60% align:start
You lump me in here with
Fatty arbuckle?
00:16:28.220 --> 00:16:28.954 line:85% position:23% size:25%
I can fly!
00:16:29.021 --> 00:16:30.589 line:85% position:50% size:68%
I can shoot nuclear blasts!
00:16:30.656 --> 00:16:33.759 line:79% position:10% size:78% align:start
I can literally -- literally --
Turn lead into gold!
00:16:33.826 --> 00:16:36.395 line:79% position:18% size:80% align:start
>> [ laughs ]
Well, you just hang on there, my
00:16:36.462 --> 00:16:37.796 line:85% position:20% size:18%
Friend.
00:16:37.863 --> 00:16:40.799 line:79% position:48% size:75%
This banjo cost me almost $60,
So we both bring a lot to the
00:16:40.866 --> 00:16:41.834 line:85% position:18% size:15%
Table.
00:16:41.900 --> 00:16:43.435 line:79% position:25% size:28%
[ whoosh! ]
[ clonk! ]
00:16:43.502 --> 00:16:45.037 line:79% position:10% size:63% align:start
>> now, where the fuck is
B'dg?!
00:16:45.104 --> 00:16:48.140 line:79% position:18% size:80% align:start
>> down the hall, first dressing
Room on the right.
00:16:48.207 --> 00:16:50.008 line:85% position:48% size:75%
>> oh, hello. My name is b'dg.
00:16:50.075 --> 00:16:51.377 line:79% position:10% size:25% align:start
[ clonk! ]
Aah!
00:16:51.443 --> 00:16:54.546 line:79% position:13% size:80% align:start
>> and, um, whoever's been
Picking their nose at the urinal
00:16:54.613 --> 00:16:57.349 line:79% position:15% size:78% align:start
And wiping it on the wall, stop
It.
00:16:57.416 --> 00:16:58.951 line:79% position:28% size:33%
>> [ laughs ]
That's evil.
00:16:59.017 --> 00:17:00.185 line:85% position:35% size:48%
>> it's disgusting.
00:17:00.252 --> 00:17:02.755 line:79% position:10% size:65% align:start
>> guys, what is the wi-fi
Password in here, again?
00:17:02.821 --> 00:17:06.191 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
>> meow, catwomanisabitch, all
One word, capital "B."
00:17:06.258 --> 00:17:07.793 line:79% position:10% size:43% align:start
>> [ chuckles ]
Now, that's evil.
00:17:07.860 --> 00:17:09.461 line:79% position:33% size:45%
[ siren blaring ]
>> ring ding ding!
00:17:09.528 --> 00:17:10.662 line:85% position:45% size:68%
>> it's the justice league.
00:17:10.729 --> 00:17:12.731 line:85% position:35% size:48%
We're under attack.
00:17:12.798 --> 00:17:14.366 line:85% position:35% size:50%
>> quiet, you fools!
00:17:14.433 --> 00:17:23.342 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start
[ beeping ]
See? Aquaman has come alone.
00:17:23.409 --> 00:17:24.443 line:85% position:33% size:45%
>> giganta, right?
00:17:24.510 --> 00:17:25.511 line:85% position:33% size:43%
>> shoo! Go away!
00:17:25.577 --> 00:17:26.311 line:85% position:25% size:28%
>> ow! Hey!
00:17:26.378 --> 00:17:27.746 line:85% position:43% size:63%
Hey, I just want to talk!
00:17:27.813 --> 00:17:31.750 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start
>> all right, but there's an
Entrance fee.
00:17:31.817 --> 00:17:33.352 line:85% position:43% size:63%
>> giganta, you dumb cow!
00:17:33.419 --> 00:17:35.721 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start
You've led my archenemy right
To us!
00:17:35.788 --> 00:17:38.056 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
But I'll live to fight another
Day!
00:17:38.123 --> 00:17:44.062 line:79% position:10% size:68% align:start
[ door opens, closes ]
>> aquaman, you are now our
00:17:44.129 --> 00:17:45.397 line:85% position:20% size:20%
Hostage.
00:17:45.464 --> 00:17:49.601 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
>> I'm already a hostage,
Luthor, a hostage to the jla's
00:17:49.668 --> 00:17:50.469 line:85% position:20% size:20%
Insults!
00:17:50.536 --> 00:17:51.737 line:85% position:25% size:30%
But no more!
00:17:51.804 --> 00:17:57.209 line:79% position:18% size:78% align:start
Aquaman is the newest member of
The legion of doom!
00:17:57.276 --> 00:18:00.078 line:85% position:40% size:60%
Ga-goo! Krrkrr! Krrshoo!
00:18:00.145 --> 00:18:02.815 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start
>> l-look, I-I don't want to
Hurt your feelings, but --
00:18:02.881 --> 00:18:05.651 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
>> I have the code's to the
Watchtower's service entrance.
00:18:05.717 --> 00:18:06.785 line:85% position:38% size:55%
>> but welcome aboard!
00:18:06.852 --> 00:18:11.356 line:79% position:10% size:48% align:start
[ thunder crashes ]
[ laughter ]
00:18:11.423 --> 00:18:17.463 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start
[ thunder crashes ]
What the fuck is going on out
00:18:17.529 --> 00:18:18.197 line:85% position:18% size:15%
There?
00:18:18.263 --> 00:18:19.698 line:85% position:40% size:58%
I left my windows down!
00:18:19.765 --> 00:18:22.701 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start
[ door opens, closes ]
>> no, our documents say you
00:18:22.768 --> 00:18:26.238 line:79% position:15% size:78% align:start
Were born on august 15, 1865, a
Tuesday.
00:18:26.305 --> 00:18:28.740 line:79% position:13% size:78% align:start
>> [ roars ]
>> it should also be noted that
00:18:28.807 --> 00:18:31.343 line:79% position:10% size:63% align:start
Your actual legal name is
Solomon gruesday.
00:18:31.410 --> 00:18:32.811 line:85% position:18% size:15%
>> ah!
00:18:32.878 --> 00:18:33.612 line:85% position:40% size:58%
>> hey, guys! I'm back!
00:18:33.679 --> 00:18:34.713 line:85% position:33% size:45%
Where have I been?
00:18:34.780 --> 00:18:36.415 line:79% position:20% size:78% align:start
Oh, king of the ocean business,
You know.
00:18:36.482 --> 00:18:38.283 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
Didn't join the forces of evil
Or anything.
00:18:38.350 --> 00:18:39.985 line:79% position:18% size:78% align:start
>> you get the cake for robin's
Bar mitzvah?
00:18:40.052 --> 00:18:40.853 line:85% position:20% size:18%
>> yep.
00:18:40.919 --> 00:18:42.387 line:85% position:50% size:78%
That's all I'm good for, right?
00:18:42.454 --> 00:18:43.355 line:85% position:18% size:15%
Ta-da!
00:18:43.422 --> 00:18:45.123 line:79% position:10% size:68% align:start
>> and there goes our petty
Cash.
00:18:45.190 --> 00:18:47.559 line:79% position:13% size:80% align:start
>> [ sighs ]
Better too much than too little,
00:18:47.626 --> 00:18:48.360 line:85% position:18% size:15%
Right?
00:18:48.427 --> 00:18:49.828 line:85% position:45% size:70%
>> why, this one's so big...
00:18:49.895 --> 00:18:50.996 line:85% position:35% size:48%
>> he's blowing it.
00:18:51.063 --> 00:18:53.832 line:79% position:15% size:78% align:start
>> riddle me this -- whose hand
Is that?
00:18:53.899 --> 00:18:55.234 line:85% position:48% size:75%
>> mine's between two pillows.
00:18:55.300 --> 00:18:57.603 line:79% position:13% size:78% align:start
>> yeah, we heard you the first
Three times, grodd.
00:18:57.669 --> 00:18:58.904 line:85% position:43% size:63%
We've all seen the movie.
00:18:58.971 --> 00:19:01.273 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start
Actually, I've never seen it,
But that joke was in the
00:19:01.340 --> 00:19:01.840 line:85% position:20% size:20%
Trailer.
00:19:01.907 --> 00:19:02.341 line:85% position:28% size:35%
>> va-va-va...
00:19:02.407 --> 00:19:03.308 line:85% position:20% size:20%
>> fine.
00:19:03.375 --> 00:19:05.677 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start
Let's just get it in the rec
Room.
00:19:05.744 --> 00:19:07.145 line:85% position:25% size:30%
>> surprise!
00:19:07.212 --> 00:19:09.014 line:85% position:40% size:60%
>> I didn't do anything!
00:19:09.081 --> 00:19:10.048 line:85% position:28% size:33%
What is this?
00:19:10.115 --> 00:19:12.084 line:79% position:25% size:78% align:start
>> it's an aquaman appreciation
Party!
00:19:12.150 --> 00:19:13.519 line:85% position:45% size:70%
>> yeah! Robin's not jewish!
00:19:13.585 --> 00:19:16.255 line:79% position:13% size:78% align:start
>> oh, we give you a hard time,
But only because we love you,
00:19:16.321 --> 00:19:17.055 line:85% position:15% size:10%
Bro!
00:19:17.122 --> 00:19:18.290 line:85% position:45% size:70%
>> you really feel that way?
00:19:18.357 --> 00:19:20.592 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start
>> do I really feel --
Look at this guy! Of course!
00:19:20.659 --> 00:19:21.226 line:85% position:30% size:38%
We're a family.
00:19:21.293 --> 00:19:22.461 line:85% position:33% size:43%
Now do the honor.
00:19:22.528 --> 00:19:25.397 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
[ heroes cheering ]
>> shh! Something's happening.
00:19:25.464 --> 00:19:28.500 line:85% position:50% size:78%
>> yeah, aquaman! In the house!
00:19:28.567 --> 00:19:29.935 line:85% position:38% size:55%
>> hey! Hey, hey, hey!
00:19:30.002 --> 00:19:31.003 line:85% position:35% size:48%
>> quiet, you fool!
00:19:31.069 --> 00:19:32.938 line:79% position:10% size:68% align:start
>> but, but, but, but, but,
But --
00:19:33.005 --> 00:19:35.207 line:85% position:30% size:40%
>> I said quiet!
00:19:35.274 --> 00:19:35.974 line:85% position:20% size:18%
>> aah!
00:19:36.041 --> 00:19:37.809 line:85% position:43% size:63%
>> I told you to -- wait.
00:19:37.876 --> 00:19:39.645 line:85% position:50% size:78%
They're shoving knives in here?
00:19:39.711 --> 00:19:40.913 line:85% position:35% size:50%
Get out of the cake!
00:19:40.979 --> 00:19:43.181 line:79% position:10% size:50% align:start
[ heroes gasp ]
>> we've been caked!
00:19:43.248 --> 00:19:44.483 line:85% position:43% size:65%
>> wait, wait, wait, guys.
00:19:44.550 --> 00:19:45.584 line:85% position:35% size:48%
My legs are asleep.
00:19:45.651 --> 00:19:47.586 line:79% position:10% size:58% align:start
>> now they'll see what
Mr. Banjo can do.
00:19:47.653 --> 00:19:50.956 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
[ up-tempo banjo music plays ]
>> face it, green fool!
00:19:51.023 --> 00:19:53.458 line:79% position:15% size:80% align:start
You're no match for the power of
Fear!
00:19:53.525 --> 00:19:54.293 line:85% position:20% size:20%
>> whoa!
00:19:54.359 --> 00:19:56.028 line:85% position:48% size:75%
I can't look at you like that.
00:19:56.094 --> 00:19:57.262 line:85% position:33% size:45%
Was that a choice?
00:19:57.329 --> 00:19:58.964 line:85% position:45% size:68%
>> I got a staph infection!
00:19:59.031 --> 00:19:59.965 line:85% position:28% size:35%
I almost died!
00:20:00.032 --> 00:20:00.699 line:85% position:18% size:15%
>> ow!
00:20:00.766 --> 00:20:02.100 line:85% position:40% size:60%
Who brought a kickball?!
00:20:02.167 --> 00:20:03.802 line:85% position:50% size:68%
>> am I here? Or over here?
00:20:03.869 --> 00:20:06.338 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
How will you know which is the
Real --
00:20:06.405 --> 00:20:07.339 line:85% position:28% size:35%
>> face punch.
00:20:07.406 --> 00:20:08.840 line:85% position:25% size:30%
>> oh, yeah!
00:20:08.907 --> 00:20:09.608 line:85% position:20% size:18%
>> ugh!
00:20:09.675 --> 00:20:10.976 line:85% position:43% size:63%
>> see you next gruesday!
00:20:11.043 --> 00:20:11.677 line:85% position:23% size:25%
>> freeze!
00:20:11.743 --> 00:20:12.344 line:85% position:23% size:23%
>> chill!
00:20:12.411 --> 00:20:12.911 line:85% position:20% size:18%
>> ice!
00:20:12.978 --> 00:20:13.612 line:85% position:23% size:25%
>> freeze!
00:20:13.679 --> 00:20:14.212 line:85% position:20% size:20%
>> cool!
00:20:14.279 --> 00:20:14.913 line:85% position:23% size:25%
>> freeze!
00:20:14.980 --> 00:20:15.480 line:85% position:20% size:18%
>> meh!
00:20:15.547 --> 00:20:15.914 line:85% position:18% size:15%
>> ow!
00:20:15.981 --> 00:20:16.949 line:85% position:18% size:15%
>> oh!
00:20:17.015 --> 00:20:18.417 line:79% position:10% size:53% align:start
>> yeah, I'm dropping
Mother fucka's!
00:20:18.483 --> 00:20:19.685 line:85% position:25% size:30%
Who's next?!
00:20:19.751 --> 00:20:22.287 line:79% position:18% size:78% align:start
>> I'd fight you, wonder woman,
But I've got a dick.
00:20:22.354 --> 00:20:23.455 line:85% position:15% size:8%
Ow!
00:20:23.522 --> 00:20:24.590 line:85% position:23% size:25%
Oh, great.
00:20:24.656 --> 00:20:27.259 line:79% position:20% size:78% align:start
Like I was drowning in cooch to
Start with.
00:20:27.326 --> 00:20:30.228 line:79% position:10% size:65% align:start
Now I've got a nose like a
Fuckin' can opener.
00:20:30.295 --> 00:20:30.862 line:85% position:18% size:15%
>> eh.
00:20:30.929 --> 00:20:32.164 line:79% position:10% size:23% align:start
[ sighs ]
Oh!
00:20:32.230 --> 00:20:33.198 line:85% position:20% size:20%
>> mm...
00:20:33.265 --> 00:20:36.034 line:79% position:10% size:65% align:start
[ smooches ]
>> was I supposed to fight
00:20:36.101 --> 00:20:36.935 line:85% position:23% size:23%
Darkseid?
00:20:37.002 --> 00:20:39.338 line:85% position:50% size:78%
'cause I'm a guy in a cat suit.
00:20:39.404 --> 00:20:40.606 line:85% position:38% size:53%
>> give it up, joker.
00:20:40.672 --> 00:20:41.773 line:85% position:35% size:48%
You'll n-- ugh! Ow!
00:20:41.840 --> 00:20:43.475 line:85% position:50% size:75%
Is that -- is that piss, dude?
00:20:43.542 --> 00:20:45.711 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
Did you just squirt piss in my
Mouth?
00:20:45.777 --> 00:20:47.479 line:85% position:50% size:78%
Oh, we are done professionally!
00:20:47.546 --> 00:20:50.415 line:85% position:50% size:80%
>> hah! It's not
his piss, bats.
00:20:50.482 --> 00:20:53.018 line:85% position:50% size:80%
>> that is only slightly better.
00:20:53.085 --> 00:20:54.152 line:85% position:15% size:10%
Aah!
00:20:54.219 --> 00:20:57.122 line:79% position:23% size:80% align:start
Aah, rule of three, asshole, not
Four!
00:20:57.189 --> 00:20:58.123 line:85% position:25% size:28%
>> ow, man!
00:20:58.190 --> 00:20:58.991 line:85% position:23% size:23%
Hey, now!
00:20:59.057 --> 00:21:00.792 line:85% position:20% size:20%
Oh! Ohh!
00:21:00.859 --> 00:21:02.995 line:79% position:10% size:80% align:start
>> I can't concentrate with that
Damn banjo noise!
00:21:03.061 --> 00:21:05.197 line:79% position:10% size:55% align:start
[ music stops ]
>> fine. Suck on this.
00:21:05.263 --> 00:21:06.531 line:85% position:15% size:10%
Aah!
00:21:06.598 --> 00:21:10.102 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start
>> yet again, the world's
Greatest villain and earth's
00:21:10.168 --> 00:21:13.538 line:79% position:10% size:80% align:start
Mightiest hero must do the dance
Of death.
00:21:13.605 --> 00:21:15.507 line:79% position:10% size:45% align:start
Mother fucker!
That split my lip!
00:21:15.574 --> 00:21:16.475 line:85% position:30% size:38%
Enough of this!
00:21:16.541 --> 00:21:17.676 line:85% position:38% size:53%
Time for the endgame.
00:21:17.743 --> 00:21:19.177 line:85% position:50% size:78%
Aquaman, the kryptonite -- now!
00:21:19.244 --> 00:21:20.345 line:85% position:28% size:35%
>> kryptonite?
00:21:20.412 --> 00:21:22.881 line:79% position:28% size:78% align:start
>> throw me the kryptonite, and
Evil will win!
00:21:22.948 --> 00:21:24.483 line:85% position:48% size:73%
>> no! Aquaman, I'm your bro!
00:21:24.549 --> 00:21:27.352 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start
>> bro? You treated him like
Pond scum for too long.
00:21:27.419 --> 00:21:29.221 line:85% position:40% size:58%
Now he has his revenge.
00:21:43.869 --> 00:21:45.504 line:85% position:33% size:43%
>> sorry, luthor.
00:21:45.570 --> 00:21:47.039 line:85% position:30% size:38%
I'm no villain.
00:21:47.105 --> 00:21:48.273 line:85% position:25% size:28%
I'm a hero.
00:21:48.340 --> 00:21:50.842 line:85% position:50% size:70%
And I'm gonna kick your ass!
00:21:50.909 --> 00:21:52.010 line:85% position:23% size:25%
Aquapunch!
00:21:52.077 --> 00:21:52.844 line:85% position:18% size:13%
Yeah!
00:21:52.911 --> 00:21:55.781 line:85% position:48% size:73%
Aquaman gets his groove back!
00:21:55.847 --> 00:21:59.685 line:79% position:10% size:80% align:start
Oh fuck.
>> how can you measure the value
00:21:59.751 --> 00:22:02.120 line:79% position:15% size:78% align:start
Of a man who did so much for so
Many?
00:22:02.187 --> 00:22:05.724 line:79% position:23% size:80% align:start
And what will we do without him,
Without...
00:22:05.791 --> 00:22:06.958 line:85% position:18% size:15%
Glenn?
00:22:07.025 --> 00:22:08.860 line:79% position:10% size:60% align:start
>>
th is how the
"Robot chicken dc comics
00:22:08.927 --> 00:22:10.996 line:79% position:10% size:60% align:start
Special" ends, with some
Cheap-ass misdirect?
00:22:11.063 --> 00:22:13.198 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start
We're not even gonna find out
How you survived?
00:22:13.265 --> 00:22:14.433 line:85% position:43% size:65%
Everyone's okay with this?
00:22:14.499 --> 00:22:15.701 line:85% position:45% size:68%
>> shh. Don't worry, jimmy.
00:22:15.767 --> 00:22:16.968 line:85% position:45% size:68%
You won't remember a thing.
00:22:17.035 --> 00:22:19.471 line:79% position:10% size:53% align:start
[ smooches ]
And neither will you.
00:22:19.538 --> 00:22:20.839 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start
[ smooches ]
>> ♪ you can try and fight me
00:22:22.774 --> 00:22:26.578 line:15% position:10% size:70% align:start
Off ♪
♪ but I-I'm a m-man of steel
00:22:26.645 --> 00:22:30.449 line:15% position:50% size:65%
♪ I'm gon' kiss you, homes
♪ and you won't remember a
00:22:30.515 --> 00:22:33.719 line:15% position:10% size:68% align:start
Thing ♪
>> hmm. You know, the thing
00:22:33.785 --> 00:22:37.723 line:21% position:10% size:45% align:start
About glenn was --
Oh! Damn it!
00:22:37.789 --> 00:22:37.856 line:15% position:10% size:73% align:start
>> ♪ but I don't want to kiss
Your thing ♪
00:22:38.123 --> 00:22:39.891 line:10% position:10% size:73% align:start
>> ♪ but I don't want to kiss
00:22:39.958 --> 00:22:42.160 line:10% position:10% size:30% align:start
Your thing ♪
64756
