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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: Webvtt X-timestamp-map=local:00:00:00.000,mpegts:9000 00:00:03.570 --> 00:00:06.973 line:79% position:48% size:75% >> so, to sum up, we basically Co-opted santa claus and made 00:00:07.040 --> 00:00:08.475 line:85% position:48% size:75% Him synonymous with coca-cola. 00:00:08.541 --> 00:00:11.378 line:79% position:50% size:78% >> I have to say, it's a breeze Signing endorsement deals with 00:00:11.444 --> 00:00:12.479 line:85% position:38% size:53% Fictional characters. 00:00:12.545 --> 00:00:14.614 line:79% position:25% size:78% align:start [ laughter ] >> are we sure we don't want to 00:00:14.681 --> 00:00:16.182 line:85% position:50% size:80% Replace him with britney spears? 00:00:16.249 --> 00:00:21.855 line:79% position:25% size:30% [ laughter ] >> ho-ho-ho! 00:00:21.921 --> 00:00:23.490 line:85% position:48% size:73% Gentlemen, gentlemen, please. 00:00:23.556 --> 00:00:24.591 line:85% position:33% size:45% No need to get up. 00:00:24.657 --> 00:00:26.292 line:85% position:35% size:48% >> uh, who are you? 00:00:26.359 --> 00:00:28.328 line:85% position:40% size:60% >> why, I'm santa claus. 00:00:28.395 --> 00:00:31.431 line:79% position:50% size:78% I was just flying by and heard Everyone having a good laugh in 00:00:31.498 --> 00:00:32.332 line:85% position:18% size:13% Here. 00:00:32.399 --> 00:00:34.601 line:79% position:23% size:80% align:start Please, someone tell me what was So funny. 00:00:34.667 --> 00:00:35.568 line:85% position:20% size:18% Make... 00:00:35.635 --> 00:00:36.403 line:85% position:18% size:13% Me... 00:00:36.469 --> 00:00:38.938 line:85% position:18% size:15% Laugh. 00:00:39.005 --> 00:00:41.941 line:79% position:25% size:78% align:start Well, allow me to repeat a joke My lawyers told me the other 00:00:42.008 --> 00:00:43.009 line:85% position:15% size:10% Day. 00:00:43.076 --> 00:00:45.178 line:79% position:25% size:80% align:start It involved a large Multinational corporation that's 00:00:45.245 --> 00:00:48.314 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start Been using my likeness without Permission or compensation. 00:00:48.381 --> 00:00:51.251 line:85% position:50% size:78% Ho-ho-ho! Isn't that hilarious? 00:00:51.317 --> 00:00:52.585 line:85% position:43% size:65% >> n-now, you listen here! 00:00:52.652 --> 00:00:53.920 line:85% position:43% size:65% Santa claus doesn't exist! 00:00:53.987 --> 00:00:54.921 line:85% position:33% size:43% We all know that. 00:00:54.988 --> 00:00:56.890 line:79% position:25% size:78% align:start >> now, why would you say that, Larry? 00:00:56.956 --> 00:00:59.626 line:79% position:50% size:80% Is it because I didn't give you The louisville slugger you asked 00:00:59.692 --> 00:01:01.161 line:85% position:35% size:50% For when you were 9? 00:01:01.227 --> 00:01:02.996 line:85% position:43% size:63% >> how did you know that? 00:01:03.062 --> 00:01:04.731 line:79% position:10% size:65% align:start >> I know a lot of things, Larry. 00:01:04.798 --> 00:01:08.101 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start I know that you've been on my "Naughty" list since '72. 00:01:08.168 --> 00:01:10.970 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start I know that your company has Been using my image to promote 00:01:11.037 --> 00:01:14.007 line:79% position:25% size:80% align:start Your product since 1931, and I Know I've never seen a dime, and 00:01:14.073 --> 00:01:15.575 line:85% position:50% size:80% You know what that means larry?! 00:01:15.642 --> 00:01:18.111 line:85% position:48% size:75% I know you're a [bleep] Thief! 00:01:18.178 --> 00:01:19.012 line:85% position:20% size:18% >> aah! 00:01:19.078 --> 00:01:23.383 line:79% position:33% size:45% [ all screaming ] >> ♪ I lie awake ♪ 00:01:23.450 --> 00:01:27.487 line:79% position:10% size:55% align:start ♪ till every dawn... ♪ >> aah! 00:01:27.554 --> 00:01:29.022 line:85% position:33% size:45% >> aah! Aah! Aaah! 00:01:29.088 --> 00:01:33.460 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start >> ♪ baby, please come home ♪ ♪ baby, I'm so sad ♪ 00:01:33.526 --> 00:01:37.397 line:79% position:10% size:40% align:start ♪ nothing... ♪ >> aaaah! Aaaah! 00:01:37.464 --> 00:01:39.032 line:85% position:28% size:33% Blea-a-a-rgh! 00:01:39.098 --> 00:01:40.266 line:85% position:20% size:18% >> aah! 00:01:40.333 --> 00:01:44.604 line:79% position:10% size:63% align:start >> [ roars ] [ screaming and roaring ] 00:01:44.671 --> 00:01:46.372 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start >> ♪ oh, you've finally come Home ♪ 00:01:46.439 --> 00:01:51.711 line:79% position:10% size:63% align:start ♪ yeah, you set me free ♪ ♪ set me free ♪ 00:01:51.778 --> 00:02:00.086 line:10% position:30% size:38% ♪ set me free ♪ ♪ set me free ♪ 00:02:00.153 --> 00:02:02.388 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start >> I'll expect my check in the Mail. 00:02:02.455 --> 00:02:04.090 line:79% position:10% size:53% align:start [ all gasp ] You [bleep] Can spell 00:02:04.157 --> 00:02:05.225 line:85% position:40% size:60% "North pole," can't you? 00:02:05.291 --> 00:02:07.293 line:79% position:10% size:65% align:start Oh, and about that talk of Replacing me with 00:02:07.360 --> 00:02:09.362 line:85% position:33% size:43% Britney spears... 00:02:09.429 --> 00:02:10.630 line:85% position:25% size:30% Think again. 00:02:10.697 --> 00:02:13.533 line:85% position:23% size:23% Ho-ho-ho! 00:02:13.600 --> 00:02:17.203 line:79% position:25% size:78% align:start >> christmas -- the birthday of jesus. 00:02:17.270 --> 00:02:20.173 line:79% position:10% size:65% align:start also the birthday of actor dean cameron, who played 00:02:20.240 --> 00:02:22.609 line:79% position:10% size:53% align:start chainsaw in the movie "Summer school." 00:02:22.675 --> 00:02:26.379 line:79% position:48% size:75% now we celebrate both of these equally important men with... 00:02:26.446 --> 00:02:28.982 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start the "Robot chicken christmas special"! 00:02:29.048 --> 00:02:34.320 line:79% position:10% size:50% align:start >> ♪ ho, ho ♪ ♪ ho, ho, ho-ho-ho ♪ 00:02:34.387 --> 00:02:45.365 line:79% position:10% size:50% align:start ♪ ho, ho ♪ ♪ ho, ho, ho-ho-ho ♪ 00:02:45.431 --> 00:02:51.104 line:79% position:10% size:50% align:start ♪ ho, ho ♪ ♪ ho, ho, ho-ho-ho ♪ 00:02:51.170 --> 00:02:52.438 line:79% position:10% size:33% align:start ♪ ho, ho ♪ >> shhhhhhhh. 00:03:04.617 --> 00:03:08.621 line:85% position:33% size:43% >> aaaaaaaaaaaah! 00:03:08.688 --> 00:03:11.057 line:85% position:28% size:35% Aaaaaaaaaaaah! 00:03:11.124 --> 00:03:17.664 line:79% position:10% size:38% align:start >> [ growls ] >> [ grunting ] 00:03:17.730 --> 00:03:19.966 line:85% position:30% size:38% >> raaaaaaaaah! 00:03:25.071 --> 00:03:26.339 line:85% position:23% size:25% Raaaaaaah! 00:03:26.406 --> 00:03:28.341 line:79% position:10% size:35% align:start [ grunts ] Raaaaaaaaaah!! 00:03:28.408 --> 00:03:30.944 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start >> and that's the story of the Very first christmas. 00:03:31.010 --> 00:03:32.145 line:85% position:40% size:58% >> wait a minute, mama. 00:03:32.211 --> 00:03:34.948 line:79% position:25% size:78% align:start How can there still be a Christmas if they killed santa? 00:03:35.014 --> 00:03:36.883 line:85% position:38% size:53% >> hmm. You're right. 00:03:36.950 --> 00:03:39.352 line:79% position:10% size:65% align:start No santa, no christmas, no Christmas presents. 00:03:39.419 --> 00:03:40.653 line:79% position:10% size:33% align:start >> [ crying ] >> aw. 00:03:40.720 --> 00:03:42.722 line:79% position:25% size:80% align:start You really would have liked this One. 00:03:42.789 --> 00:03:44.457 line:85% position:18% size:15% >> oh! 00:03:44.524 --> 00:03:47.660 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start >> all: ♪ deck the halls with Boughs of holly ♪ 00:03:47.727 --> 00:03:53.466 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start ♪ fa-la-la-la-la, la-la -- ♪ >> la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la! 00:03:53.533 --> 00:03:55.768 line:85% position:18% size:15% Sorry. 00:03:55.835 --> 00:03:58.471 line:79% position:48% size:73% >> when those robbers try to Break in, they'll be in for a 00:03:58.538 --> 00:03:59.272 line:85% position:30% size:38% Nasty surprise. 00:03:59.339 --> 00:04:01.140 line:85% position:50% size:80% Nails on basement stairs, check. 00:04:01.207 --> 00:04:02.976 line:85% position:50% size:78% Iron attached to string, check. 00:04:03.042 --> 00:04:04.978 line:85% position:43% size:63% Trucks, ornaments, check. 00:04:05.044 --> 00:04:08.081 line:85% position:33% size:45% Paint cans, check. 00:04:08.147 --> 00:04:10.717 line:85% position:30% size:38% Safe and sound. 00:04:10.783 --> 00:04:12.986 line:79% position:25% size:30% [ snoring ] [ coughing ] 00:04:22.095 --> 00:04:23.463 line:85% position:18% size:13% Fire! 00:04:23.529 --> 00:04:28.034 line:79% position:10% size:55% align:start [ coughing continues ] Aaah! Aaaaaaaaaaah! 00:04:28.101 --> 00:04:29.836 line:85% position:25% size:28% Aaaaaaaaah! 00:04:33.172 --> 00:04:34.374 line:85% position:23% size:23% Aaaaaaah! 00:04:34.440 --> 00:04:35.541 line:85% position:23% size:23% Aaaaaaah! 00:04:35.608 --> 00:04:41.347 line:79% position:10% size:30% align:start [ sizzling ] Aaaaaaah! 00:04:41.414 --> 00:04:42.582 line:85% position:15% size:10% Ooh! 00:04:42.649 --> 00:04:50.456 line:79% position:10% size:33% align:start [ crying ] [ screaming ] 00:04:50.523 --> 00:04:52.091 line:79% position:10% size:23% align:start Aaa-- [ clang ] 00:04:52.158 --> 00:04:53.326 line:85% position:43% size:65% >> [ crying ] Oh, my baby. 00:04:53.393 --> 00:04:55.695 line:79% position:25% size:78% align:start >> we were just driving by, and We saw the flames. 00:04:55.762 --> 00:04:58.698 line:85% position:43% size:65% Is that kid gonna be okay? 00:04:58.765 --> 00:05:01.167 line:85% position:25% size:28% >> aaaaaah! 00:05:01.234 --> 00:05:02.068 line:85% position:33% size:43% >> how did it go? 00:05:02.135 --> 00:05:03.770 line:79% position:10% size:58% align:start Did you deliver all the Presents? 00:05:03.836 --> 00:05:04.837 line:85% position:38% size:55% Are the reindeer okay? 00:05:04.904 --> 00:05:05.905 line:85% position:25% size:30% >> ho-ho-ho! 00:05:05.972 --> 00:05:08.007 line:79% position:10% size:68% align:start How about two seconds to Decompress before you voice 00:05:08.074 --> 00:05:09.776 line:85% position:38% size:53% [bleep] My ear holes? 00:05:09.842 --> 00:05:12.979 line:79% position:50% size:78% >> joseph, remember when I said That even though we're married, 00:05:13.046 --> 00:05:14.881 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start I never want to have sex with You? 00:05:14.947 --> 00:05:16.149 line:85% position:40% size:58% >> yeah. Black tuesday. 00:05:16.215 --> 00:05:19.052 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start >> well, I don't understand it Myself, but I'm pregnant! 00:05:19.118 --> 00:05:22.021 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start >> hey, joe, how goes the plan To bang mary in her sleep?! 00:05:22.088 --> 00:05:24.123 line:85% position:28% size:35% Oh, hey, mary. 00:05:24.190 --> 00:05:27.393 line:85% position:50% size:80% I, uh -- I didn't see you there. 00:05:27.460 --> 00:05:31.097 line:79% position:10% size:68% align:start >> ♪ jingle bells, batman Smells, robin laid an egg ♪ 00:05:31.164 --> 00:05:34.767 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start ♪ the batmobile lost its -- ♪ [ gasps ] Batman?! 00:05:34.834 --> 00:05:36.235 line:79% position:10% size:48% align:start [ patter! Patter! ] >> oh! 00:05:36.302 --> 00:05:37.403 line:85% position:38% size:55% >> keep singing, boys. 00:05:37.470 --> 00:05:38.571 line:85% position:40% size:58% We were learning a lot. 00:05:38.638 --> 00:05:41.741 line:79% position:25% size:80% align:start >> yeah. I never knew batman had An odor problem. 00:05:41.808 --> 00:05:43.443 line:79% position:10% size:33% align:start >> [ sniffs ] Hmm. Weird. 00:05:43.509 --> 00:05:44.844 line:85% position:40% size:58% I don't smell anything. 00:05:44.911 --> 00:05:45.845 line:85% position:30% size:38% Do you, dougie? 00:05:45.912 --> 00:05:48.681 line:79% position:10% size:60% align:start >> [ muffled screaming ] >> I can't hear you. 00:05:48.748 --> 00:05:51.551 line:79% position:30% size:78% align:start >> [ voice breaking ] I want my Mommy! 00:05:51.617 --> 00:05:52.719 line:85% position:30% size:40% >> yeah? Me too. 00:05:52.785 --> 00:05:55.221 line:79% position:28% size:78% align:start >> I may be named after a bird, But that doesn't mean I'm 00:05:55.288 --> 00:05:56.022 line:85% position:28% size:35% Dropping eggs! 00:05:56.089 --> 00:05:56.956 line:85% position:15% size:10% Huh? 00:05:57.023 --> 00:05:58.691 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start You want to check these shorts For some eggs? 00:05:58.758 --> 00:06:00.693 line:79% position:25% size:80% align:start Huh? You see any [bleep] Eggs in There? 00:06:00.760 --> 00:06:01.794 line:85% position:38% size:53% >> we got to go! Run! 00:06:01.861 --> 00:06:02.762 line:85% position:30% size:40% Get out of here! 00:06:02.829 --> 00:06:04.497 line:85% position:50% size:80% >> they're getting away, batman. 00:06:04.564 --> 00:06:05.598 line:85% position:35% size:48% >> not on my watch. 00:06:05.665 --> 00:06:08.334 line:79% position:10% size:60% align:start [ beeps ] The rats are scattering. 00:06:08.401 --> 00:06:12.472 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start >> holy "These [bleep] Aren't Going anywhere." 00:06:12.538 --> 00:06:20.913 line:79% position:10% size:28% align:start >> [ sobs ] >> aah. 00:06:20.980 --> 00:06:22.148 line:85% position:45% size:70% >> [ voice breaking ] Sorry! 00:06:22.215 --> 00:06:24.984 line:79% position:25% size:80% align:start >> you can tell your dentist I'm Sorry. 00:06:25.051 --> 00:06:27.386 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start >> and the police didn't even Investigate the children's 00:06:27.453 --> 00:06:29.489 line:79% position:25% size:80% align:start Disappearance, because batman is Above the law. 00:06:29.555 --> 00:06:31.891 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start But please, troy, keep singing Your hilarious version of 00:06:31.958 --> 00:06:34.127 line:79% position:28% size:80% align:start "Jingle bells" and [bleep] Up my Christmas program. 00:06:34.193 --> 00:06:35.061 line:85% position:35% size:50% No? All right, then. 00:06:35.128 --> 00:06:36.562 line:85% position:28% size:33% From the top. 00:06:36.629 --> 00:06:39.565 line:79% position:10% size:60% align:start [ crank! Crank! Crank! ] [ bubble! ] 00:06:43.202 --> 00:06:46.139 line:79% position:10% size:38% align:start [ gun cocking ] [ bubble! ] 00:06:49.008 --> 00:06:50.576 line:79% position:28% size:35% >> [ screams ] [ gun cocks ] 00:06:50.643 --> 00:06:52.078 line:79% position:10% size:33% align:start [ screams ] [ gun cocks ] 00:06:52.145 --> 00:06:53.579 line:79% position:10% size:33% align:start [ screams ] [ gun cocks ] 00:06:53.646 --> 00:06:54.981 line:79% position:25% size:28% [ screams ] [ bubble! ] 00:06:55.047 --> 00:07:00.586 line:79% position:10% size:40% align:start >> [ screaming ] >> hey, kyle. 00:07:00.653 --> 00:07:04.657 line:79% position:10% size:65% align:start Have any big plans for the Holiday break? 00:07:04.724 --> 00:07:06.425 line:85% position:20% size:18% >> yes. 00:07:06.492 --> 00:07:10.963 line:85% position:35% size:48% >> o-o-o-o-o-o-kay. 00:07:11.030 --> 00:07:12.265 line:85% position:40% size:60% >> aw, come on, come on! 00:07:12.331 --> 00:07:12.732 line:85% position:18% size:15% Do it! 00:07:12.799 --> 00:07:13.499 line:85% position:25% size:30% Look at you! 00:07:13.566 --> 00:07:14.901 line:85% position:43% size:65% >> you're not gonna do it. 00:07:14.967 --> 00:07:15.468 line:85% position:20% size:20% Chicken! 00:07:15.535 --> 00:07:16.502 line:85% position:33% size:45% >> ha ha, shut up. 00:07:16.569 --> 00:07:17.737 line:85% position:40% size:58% I'll do it, I'll do it. 00:07:17.804 --> 00:07:19.739 line:79% position:23% size:25% [ laughs ] Ho, ho... 00:07:26.779 --> 00:07:27.680 line:85% position:15% size:8% Ho. 00:07:27.747 --> 00:07:31.918 line:79% position:10% size:43% align:start [ wind gusts ] [ muffled shout ] 00:07:31.984 --> 00:07:35.721 line:79% position:25% size:78% align:start [ creak! Poink! ] >> it looks like, somehow, your 00:07:35.788 --> 00:07:37.990 line:79% position:10% size:68% align:start Heart grew three sizes this Day. 00:07:38.057 --> 00:07:42.461 line:79% position:10% size:68% align:start >> it's a christmas mirac-- >> it's terminal. 00:07:42.528 --> 00:07:43.896 line:85% position:45% size:70% >> dad, is santa claus real? 00:07:43.963 --> 00:07:45.731 line:79% position:10% size:68% align:start >> of course santa claus is Real. 00:07:45.798 --> 00:07:47.967 line:79% position:10% size:68% align:start Who do you think brings you Your presents? 00:07:48.034 --> 00:07:50.102 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start >> did he always live in the North pole? 00:07:50.169 --> 00:07:52.505 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start >> actually, he grew up right Here in chicago. 00:07:52.572 --> 00:07:53.940 line:85% position:45% size:70% He even played for the cubs. 00:07:54.006 --> 00:07:56.609 line:79% position:10% size:45% align:start [ crowd cheering ] >> wow! 00:07:56.676 --> 00:07:58.244 line:85% position:43% size:63% Tell me more about santa. 00:07:58.311 --> 00:07:59.579 line:85% position:35% size:48% >> well, let's see. 00:07:59.645 --> 00:08:01.547 line:85% position:50% size:78% Oh! H-he loves "Robot chicken." 00:08:01.614 --> 00:08:03.716 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start He's even done voices on the Show. 00:08:03.783 --> 00:08:06.085 line:79% position:23% size:80% align:start >> you worthless d-bags wouldn't Let him play your reindeer 00:08:06.152 --> 00:08:06.586 line:85% position:18% size:15% Games. 00:08:06.652 --> 00:08:07.620 line:85% position:35% size:48% >> he sounds funny. 00:08:07.687 --> 00:08:09.722 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start Do you think we would've been Friends growing up? 00:08:09.789 --> 00:08:10.823 line:85% position:20% size:20% >> sure. 00:08:10.890 --> 00:08:13.793 line:79% position:45% size:68% He was just like you -- the Apple of his parents' eye. 00:08:13.860 --> 00:08:16.729 line:79% position:25% size:78% align:start He had a huge crate of toys and Loved to play. 00:08:16.796 --> 00:08:20.066 line:79% position:25% size:78% align:start [ hip-hop music plays ] And he was very funny -- always 00:08:20.132 --> 00:08:21.300 line:85% position:35% size:48% A barrel of laughs. 00:08:21.367 --> 00:08:22.768 line:85% position:40% size:58% >> santa's the coolest! 00:08:22.835 --> 00:08:24.103 line:85% position:38% size:53% >> he sure is, billy. 00:08:24.170 --> 00:08:27.273 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start Now, you better go to sleep so Santa can do his job. 00:08:27.340 --> 00:08:28.774 line:85% position:35% size:48% >> good night, dad. 00:08:28.841 --> 00:08:30.076 line:85% position:30% size:40% Merry christmas. 00:08:30.142 --> 00:08:38.351 line:79% position:45% size:68% [ suspenseful music plays ] >> he grew up right here in 00:08:38.417 --> 00:08:39.352 line:85% position:20% size:20% chicago. 00:08:39.418 --> 00:08:41.821 line:85% position:45% size:70% he even played for the cubs. 00:08:41.888 --> 00:08:45.324 line:85% position:43% size:63% he loves "Robot chicken." 00:08:45.391 --> 00:08:49.629 line:85% position:48% size:75% the apple of his parents' eye. 00:08:49.695 --> 00:08:51.797 line:85% position:38% size:53% a huge crate of toys. 00:08:51.864 --> 00:08:57.670 line:85% position:33% size:43% barrel of laughs. 00:08:57.737 --> 00:09:00.673 line:79% position:10% size:58% align:start [ ominous music plays ] [ door closes ] 00:09:05.845 --> 00:09:12.985 line:79% position:10% size:58% align:start [ whip! ] [ ominous music plays ] 00:09:13.052 --> 00:09:15.855 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start >> the greatest trick that Billy's father ever pulled was 00:09:15.922 --> 00:09:18.824 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start Convincing his son that santa Exists. 00:09:18.891 --> 00:09:21.928 line:79% position:50% size:80% >> santa's so fast, he delivers Presents to the whole wide world 00:09:21.994 --> 00:09:22.695 line:85% position:28% size:33% In one night. 00:09:22.762 --> 00:09:23.996 line:85% position:43% size:65% >> aw, superman is faster! 00:09:24.063 --> 00:09:26.699 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start He circled the planet and made Us all forget about that 00:09:26.766 --> 00:09:28.501 line:79% position:10% size:55% align:start Earthquake that killed Lois lane. 00:09:28.567 --> 00:09:29.502 line:85% position:35% size:48% >> what earthquake? 00:09:29.568 --> 00:09:30.469 line:85% position:33% size:45% >> exactly, bitch! 00:09:30.536 --> 00:09:31.904 line:85% position:45% size:70% >> kids, kids, take it easy! 00:09:31.971 --> 00:09:32.872 line:85% position:33% size:45% >> both: superman! 00:09:32.939 --> 00:09:34.774 line:79% position:10% size:68% align:start >> it's not important who's Fastest. 00:09:34.840 --> 00:09:36.142 line:85% position:45% size:68% >> spoken like a true puss. 00:09:36.208 --> 00:09:37.576 line:85% position:45% size:70% >> what did you [bleep] Say? 00:09:37.643 --> 00:09:39.011 line:85% position:48% size:73% I would whip santa's fat ass! 00:09:39.078 --> 00:09:41.781 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start Is that what you want to hear, You little [bleep] Turd?! 00:09:41.847 --> 00:09:43.950 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start [ glass shatters ] You come at me, you come at me 00:09:44.016 --> 00:09:45.117 line:85% position:35% size:48% Like a [bleep] Man! 00:09:45.184 --> 00:09:47.320 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start >> I've got to blog about the [bleep] That just went down 00:09:47.386 --> 00:09:48.187 line:85% position:25% size:28% Right here. 00:09:48.254 --> 00:09:50.423 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start >> old supes thinks he's the Fastest, eh? 00:09:50.489 --> 00:09:51.123 line:85% position:23% size:23% Ho-ho-ho! 00:09:51.190 --> 00:09:52.825 line:85% position:50% size:80% >> so who is the fastest, santa? 00:09:52.892 --> 00:09:53.626 line:85% position:25% size:30% >> ho-ho-ho! 00:09:53.693 --> 00:09:54.860 line:85% position:38% size:53% That's not important. 00:09:54.927 --> 00:09:56.362 line:85% position:45% size:68% >> spoken like a true puss. 00:09:56.429 --> 00:10:00.433 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start [ glass shatters ] >> we doing this, blue balls? 00:10:00.499 --> 00:10:02.268 line:79% position:10% size:55% align:start >> you got that right, St. Dick! 00:10:02.335 --> 00:10:03.970 line:85% position:45% size:70% Hey, no fair using reindeer. 00:10:04.036 --> 00:10:07.173 line:79% position:48% size:75% >> oh, okay, no fair using our Yellow sun, then, you [bleep] 00:10:07.239 --> 00:10:07.873 line:85% position:18% size:15% Alien. 00:10:07.940 --> 00:10:15.314 line:79% position:10% size:43% align:start [ whoosh! ] [ clock ticking ] 00:10:15.381 --> 00:10:17.283 line:79% position:25% size:80% align:start [ bells jingle, hooves screech ] [ whoosh! ] 00:10:17.350 --> 00:10:18.384 line:85% position:28% size:35% >> it's a tie! 00:10:18.451 --> 00:10:20.353 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start >> what a complete and total Waste of everybody's time! 00:10:20.419 --> 00:10:22.521 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start >> well, even a tie has some Entertainment value. 00:10:22.588 --> 00:10:25.624 line:79% position:10% size:45% align:start >> all: [ booing ] >> ha ha! 00:10:25.691 --> 00:10:27.460 line:85% position:48% size:73% Sorry we took so long, folks. 00:10:27.526 --> 00:10:28.361 line:85% position:25% size:30% >> ho-ho-ho! 00:10:28.427 --> 00:10:30.329 line:85% position:50% size:78% We ran into a few race hazards. 00:10:30.396 --> 00:10:32.331 line:85% position:50% size:80% >> lex luthor here tried to d.Q. 00:10:32.398 --> 00:10:33.733 line:85% position:35% size:50% Us both permanently. 00:10:33.799 --> 00:10:37.303 line:79% position:28% size:78% align:start >> luckily, we stopped him, but Only by working together. 00:10:37.370 --> 00:10:39.672 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start [ applause ] >> I think they're buying it. 00:10:39.739 --> 00:10:40.306 line:85% position:20% size:20% Bump it. 00:10:40.373 --> 00:10:41.273 line:85% position:30% size:40% >> reciprocated! 00:10:41.340 --> 00:10:42.308 line:85% position:35% size:50% >> up, up, and away. 00:10:42.375 --> 00:10:42.775 line:85% position:20% size:18% >> huh? 00:10:42.842 --> 00:10:43.709 line:85% position:28% size:33% W-where am I? 00:10:43.776 --> 00:10:45.678 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start I-I was at my mother's doing Laundry, and -- 00:10:45.745 --> 00:10:47.146 line:85% position:50% size:78% >> weaponizing anthrax, luthor? 00:10:47.213 --> 00:10:48.014 line:85% position:30% size:40% Not on my watch! 00:10:48.080 --> 00:10:48.581 line:85% position:23% size:23% >> what?! 00:10:48.647 --> 00:10:50.549 line:79% position:10% size:35% align:start Weaponizing -- >> boom! 00:10:50.616 --> 00:10:53.586 line:79% position:10% size:60% align:start [ ting! ] >> ♪ you're my brother ♪ 00:10:53.652 --> 00:10:55.588 line:10% position:10% size:48% align:start ♪ you're my slave ♪ ♪ you're my dog ♪ 00:10:55.654 --> 00:10:58.257 line:10% position:35% size:50% ♪ don't I love it? ♪ ♪ you're my lover ♪ 00:10:58.324 --> 00:11:00.926 line:10% position:10% size:53% align:start ♪ take it off ♪ ♪ you're my brother ♪ 00:11:00.993 --> 00:11:03.029 line:10% position:10% size:48% align:start ♪ you're my slave ♪ ♪ you're my dog ♪ 00:11:03.095 --> 00:11:05.698 line:10% position:35% size:50% ♪ don't I love it? ♪ ♪ you're my lover ♪ 00:11:05.765 --> 00:11:08.534 line:10% position:10% size:53% align:start ♪ take it off ♪ ♪ you're my brother ♪ 00:11:08.601 --> 00:11:10.436 line:10% position:10% size:48% align:start ♪ you're my slave ♪ ♪ you're my dog ♪ 00:11:10.503 --> 00:11:13.305 line:10% position:35% size:50% ♪ don't I love it? ♪ ♪ you're my lover ♪ 00:11:13.372 --> 00:11:16.042 line:10% position:10% size:53% align:start ♪ take it off ♪ ♪ you're my brother ♪ 00:11:16.108 --> 00:11:18.144 line:10% position:10% size:48% align:start ♪ you're my slave ♪ ♪ you're my dog ♪ 00:11:18.210 --> 00:11:19.912 line:10% position:35% size:50% ♪ don't I love it? ♪ 28494

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