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[ cheering ]
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[ singing in native language ]
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>> ha!
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Back from the dead, assholes!
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[ ewoks screaming ]
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[ laughs ]
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Oh ho ho!
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Boba's got himself a lightsaber
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Now!
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Oh ho ho ho ho!
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Make it two!
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Ooh, red and blue.
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When I put it together, what
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Does it make?
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Purple rain!
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Oh, no, he's gettin' away!
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What's this button here?
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Says "Long-range missile."
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Couldn't possibly -- could it?
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[ laughs ]
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And the quarterback is toast!
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>> oh, boba!
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>> hey, hey, he got the girl.
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What's with all the clothing?
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Why don't you -- there's more
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Comfortable.
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Right on.
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Oh, careful of the antenna,
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Baby.
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>> and that would be the most
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Awesomest thing to ever happen
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In the history of ever!
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>> can somebody get me a sock?
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>> [ laughs evilly ]
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[ mechanical breathing ]
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[ laughs evilly ]
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[ laughs evilly ]
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>> hey, you're gonna be mad,
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Alfonso.
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I haven't had time to get it
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Cut, and my hair is whaaah!
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>> don't worry!
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We will have you looking
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Perfect, sir!
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[ laughs ]
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Uh-oh!
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Look at you!
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You look crazy!
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>> I know.
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I look crazy.
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>> well, let's get started.
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And how is the empire coming
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Along?
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Last time, you were very excited
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About your death star.
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>> let's just say we're already
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Building another one.
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>> uh-oh!
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>> yeah, I've got vader on it.
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Ugh. Just saying his name
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Stresses my ass!
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[ cellphone rings ]
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>> uh-oh!
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>> yeah?
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>> turn your head for me,
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Please.
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>> you lost them?
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>> uh-oh!
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>> I-I can't hold your hand
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Anymore, vader.
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A hand I gave you, I might add!
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No! No! Shut up!
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>> uh-oh!
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>> I-I-I got to put you on hold!
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I just want to throw myself in a
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Hot bath and cry.
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>> oh, no!
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You're looking for some guys?
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What about a bounty hunter?
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>> a what, now?
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>> you know, a guy who looks for
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A guy for money.
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My sister's dating one.
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>> alfonso, you're a lifesaver!
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What's your midi-chlorian count?
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Seriously, what do we need to
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Do?
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>> we put an ad in the paper.
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Bounty hunters from everywhere
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Are looking, looking, looking,
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And then we got this guy!
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>> I like it.
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And I like where this is going!
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>> well, you got the face for
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It!
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>> fright fans!
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It's the geonosian separatist
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Hot pod summer championship!
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>> championship!
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>> kick it to the geonosian area
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This saturday and sunday.
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>> sunday, sunday.
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>> featuring the 50,000 credit
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Battle for the "Monster beast
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Challenge series."
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With acklay!
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Monster beast!
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Reek!
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And nexu!
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Taking on two robe-clad,
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Force-mad, dead-eye jedi
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Warriors!
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>> force mad!
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>> tickets now at all holo-tron
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Outlets and geonosian arena box
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Office.
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This saturday, 7:30 p.M.!
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Special show, sunday 1:30!
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>> bring the kids!
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>> only at the geonosian arena.
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It's awesome, awesome, awesome!
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>> luke, what's wrong?
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>> I just can't believe ben's
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Gone.
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>> oh!
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Did the 80-year-old man you just
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Met yesterday die?
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I mean, sorry if I didn't
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Notice.
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I was a little busy thinking
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About my entire family and the
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Other 2 billion people from
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Alderaan who were just vaporized
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Into dust 'bout three hours ago.
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>> [ beeping ]
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>> gary, where is jessica?
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Isn't today "Take your daughter
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To work day?"
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>> no one actually does that.
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>> gary, you promised.
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>> keep your head down, jessica!
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>> okay, daddy! Oh!
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Mr. Fuzzybottom!
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>> [ groans ]
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Oh! Ugh!
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Ahhh!
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[ panting ]
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Here you go, baby.
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>> who is this little girl?
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>> oh! Lord vader!
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Uh...It's "Take your daughter to
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Work day," and I know, uh -- you
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Know, I'm sorry for bringing
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Her, but my wife says I never
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See her, and -- and let's be
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Honest.
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She's right.
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Okay? She's right.
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Do you have kids?
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'cause, I mean, they change your
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World.
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Oh, I'm probably gonna get fired
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For this, but [bleep] It.
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I love my daughter.
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>> that really hits me where I
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Live.
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What have you done with those
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Plans?
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Gary here never sees his
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Daughter because of people like
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You!
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[ bones snap ]
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I'm so sorry you had to see
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That.
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Are you having fun, being at
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Work with your father?
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>> mmmm.
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>> [ laughs ]
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I know, I'm scary.
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>> these aren't the droids
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You're looking for.
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>> these aren't the droids we're
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Looking for.
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>> yes, they are.
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>> move along.
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>> move along.
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>> daddy, you're not even
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Trying!
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>> baby, it is 165 degrees on
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This planet!
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I can't hear in this thing!
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I was just repeating what I
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Thought the guy was saying!
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It's not like it's my own
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Mother[bleep] Thought on the
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Matter, okay?!
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>> [ crying ]
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>> hon-- oh!
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Baby!
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>> see?
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That's why I don't take my
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Daughter to jack [bleep]
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>> make her tell us the location
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Of the rebel base.
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>> good god, man!
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I'm a doctor, not a savage!
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This is a flu shot!
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Good day, sir!
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>> you will make her --
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>> I said, "Good day, sir!"
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>> what the...
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You trying to drown that kid?
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What are you injecting there?
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Is this the bloody dark ages?!
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Why don't you just throw some
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Leeches in there!
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Oh, nobody listen to dr. Ball.
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He's just an old fool!
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She's lost the will to live?!
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What is your degree in, poetry?
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You sorry bunch of hippies.
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For god's sakes, don't use the
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Billions of dollars of medical
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Equipment around us.
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Why don't we all just get on our
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Knees and pray?
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We don't have knees, you
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Mother[bleep]
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>> okay, kid, mr. Akbar here is
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Ready to take this ad campaign
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Coast to coast.
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What have you come up with?
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[ knuckles crack ]
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>> ♪ akbar's fish sticks
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From the sea ♪
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♪ they cook so tender
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And flaky ♪
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♪ whip some up for you and me ♪
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♪ to pass them up
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Is a big mistakey ♪
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♪ yeah ♪
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>> "Big mistakey"?
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>> it's a no, guys.
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[ all groan ]
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>> I think it works better as an
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Instrumental anyway.
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>> there's one.
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Set for stun.
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Ugh!
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>> he said stun.
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[ crying ]
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It wasn't gonna hurt ya.
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He said stun.
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[ beeping ]
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>> [ roars ]
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>> [ screeches, gasps ]
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[ beeping ]
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[ alarm blaring ]
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[ glug! Glug! Glug! Glug! ]
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Whoo!
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>> go to the jedi temple.
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Do what must be done.
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>> mr. Skywalker.
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What's going on?
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>> all of you line up, oldest to
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Youngest.
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>> what for, sir?
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>> um...A treat.
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[ excited chattering ]
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Um...Everyone just, uh, close
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Your eyes real tight and put
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Your fingers in your ears.
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No peeking.
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>> mr. Skywalker, can my treat
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Just be a hug?
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>> you can do this, anakin.
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Just -- just go to your happy
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Place.
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Oh, remember the fields of
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Naboo, where you fell in love.
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Yeah.
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Yeah!
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Oh, it's beautiful.
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Oh, yeah!
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Oh, nature!
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I feel alive!
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Oh, yeah!
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Aah, hyah!
289
00:08:31,244 --> 00:08:33,044
Oh, I'm so in love.
290
00:08:33,111 --> 00:08:34,981
Aah, hyah!
291
00:08:35,047 --> 00:08:36,015
Ra-a-a-r!
292
00:08:36,082 --> 00:08:37,616
[ laughing ] Where you going?
293
00:08:37,683 --> 00:08:38,317
Come here.
294
00:08:38,384 --> 00:08:40,286
Yeah!
295
00:08:40,352 --> 00:08:43,356
Oh, yeah!
296
00:08:43,422 --> 00:08:44,857
That was nice.
297
00:08:44,924 --> 00:08:45,992
>> anakin, I'm home!
298
00:08:46,058 --> 00:08:46,792
>> oh, good.
299
00:08:46,859 --> 00:08:48,160
I left you some fresh-cut
300
00:08:48,227 --> 00:08:49,829
Sunflowers on the dining table.
301
00:08:49,896 --> 00:08:52,765
>> oh, anie, that is so...
302
00:08:52,832 --> 00:08:54,467
[ glass shatters ]
303
00:08:59,572 --> 00:09:00,573
>> our forces are almost in
304
00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:02,742
Place.
305
00:09:02,808 --> 00:09:06,445
[ engine revving ]
306
00:09:06,512 --> 00:09:08,047
>> this is general veers.
307
00:09:08,114 --> 00:09:09,282
Begin your attack.
308
00:09:09,348 --> 00:09:11,684
>> yeeeee-haw!
309
00:09:11,751 --> 00:09:12,785
>> what the hell are you doing?
310
00:09:12,852 --> 00:09:13,819
Slow down.
311
00:09:13,886 --> 00:09:14,987
>> ow!
312
00:09:15,054 --> 00:09:16,289
>> ooh!
313
00:09:16,355 --> 00:09:21,427
>> here they come!
314
00:09:21,494 --> 00:09:25,932
They're beautiful!
315
00:09:25,998 --> 00:09:26,832
>> you just passed them.
316
00:09:26,899 --> 00:09:30,436
You got to tur-- look out!
317
00:09:30,503 --> 00:09:34,340
[ at-at squealing ]
318
00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:35,308
>> yeah!
319
00:09:35,374 --> 00:09:36,909
That was awesome!
320
00:09:36,976 --> 00:09:39,712
Whoo-hoo!
321
00:09:39,779 --> 00:09:41,881
>> general veers, report on the
322
00:09:41,948 --> 00:09:42,615
Attack.
323
00:09:42,682 --> 00:09:46,285
>> uh, uh...
324
00:09:46,352 --> 00:09:46,986
Ha ha!
325
00:09:47,053 --> 00:09:47,653
Whoo!
326
00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:49,055
I love this thing!
327
00:09:49,121 --> 00:09:50,156
>> this is it, mom.
328
00:09:50,222 --> 00:09:51,891
Everyone has a destiny, and mine
329
00:09:51,958 --> 00:09:53,326
Is just over that horizon.
330
00:09:53,392 --> 00:09:55,161
>> krayt, listen to reason.
331
00:09:55,227 --> 00:09:57,129
The elders all say it's just a
332
00:09:57,196 --> 00:09:59,231
Never-ending ocean of desert out
333
00:09:59,298 --> 00:09:59,865
There.
334
00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:00,800
>> oh, pishposh.
335
00:10:00,866 --> 00:10:02,301
What kind of cruel god would
336
00:10:02,368 --> 00:10:03,936
Create a whole planet defined by
337
00:10:04,003 --> 00:10:05,571
Just one topographical feature?
338
00:10:05,638 --> 00:10:07,173
Why, that'd be as ridiculous as
339
00:10:07,239 --> 00:10:08,708
A whole world made of nothing
340
00:10:08,774 --> 00:10:10,810
But ice, lava, or forest.
341
00:10:10,876 --> 00:10:13,012
No, sometimes you just have to
342
00:10:13,079 --> 00:10:15,114
Dig deep down inside yourself
343
00:10:15,181 --> 00:10:17,183
And find the courage to say,
344
00:10:17,249 --> 00:10:18,451
Look out, world.
345
00:10:18,517 --> 00:10:20,686
Here comes krayt dragon.
346
00:10:26,859 --> 00:10:28,294
>> what is thy bidding, my
347
00:10:28,361 --> 00:10:28,861
Master?
348
00:10:28,928 --> 00:10:29,795
>> my bidding?
349
00:10:29,862 --> 00:10:31,364
How about I bid thee to stop
350
00:10:31,430 --> 00:10:33,032
Ramming the ship into [bleep]
351
00:10:33,099 --> 00:10:34,033
Asteroid fields?
352
00:10:34,100 --> 00:10:35,001
Can you handle that?
353
00:10:35,067 --> 00:10:35,901
>> I'm trying.
354
00:10:35,968 --> 00:10:37,169
>> yeah? Well, there is no try.
355
00:10:37,236 --> 00:10:38,537
There's do and there's [bleep]
356
00:10:38,604 --> 00:10:39,405
Royal.
357
00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:40,272
And you are [bleep] Royal, so
358
00:10:40,339 --> 00:10:41,674
I'm hiring bounty hunters to do
359
00:10:41,741 --> 00:10:42,208
The job.
360
00:10:42,274 --> 00:10:42,808
>> but I --
361
00:10:42,875 --> 00:10:43,542
>> no buts.
362
00:10:43,609 --> 00:10:44,710
It's already ringing.
363
00:10:44,777 --> 00:10:46,278
You look so tiny down there,
364
00:10:46,345 --> 00:10:47,747
Like a little mean pepper
365
00:10:47,813 --> 00:10:48,581
Shaker.
366
00:10:48,647 --> 00:10:49,949
Sheila, hey, it's palpatine.
367
00:10:50,016 --> 00:10:51,650
Listen, I need you to place an
368
00:10:51,717 --> 00:10:52,885
Ad for me, will you?
369
00:10:52,952 --> 00:10:54,653
Imperial emperor seeking bounty
370
00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:56,655
Hunters to, um -- to find and
371
00:10:56,722 --> 00:10:58,790
Locate -- yeah, I guess that is
372
00:10:58,858 --> 00:10:59,959
The same thing.
373
00:11:00,026 --> 00:11:01,394
Okay, to locate the
374
00:11:01,460 --> 00:11:03,262
Millennium falcon.
375
00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:04,163
She's typing.
376
00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:05,998
So all you see is my head, huh?
377
00:11:06,065 --> 00:11:07,099
Can you see this?
378
00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:09,268
Who-o-o-o-o-o-o-op! Up!
379
00:11:09,335 --> 00:11:10,102
>> yes, I c--
380
00:11:10,169 --> 00:11:11,103
>> no, I'm here.
381
00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:12,004
Right.
382
00:11:12,071 --> 00:11:13,305
Oh, and be sure to mention some
383
00:11:13,372 --> 00:11:14,340
Kind of a reward.
384
00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:15,474
What? Oh, I don't know.
385
00:11:15,541 --> 00:11:17,143
How much do you think?
386
00:11:17,209 --> 00:11:18,044
Really?
387
00:11:18,110 --> 00:11:19,245
That seems a little high to me.
388
00:11:19,311 --> 00:11:20,379
No, I see your point.
389
00:11:20,446 --> 00:11:21,847
I tell you what, why don't we
390
00:11:21,914 --> 00:11:23,315
Just say "Substantial reward"
391
00:11:23,382 --> 00:11:24,450
And leave it at that?
392
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:25,584
Okay, thanks, sheila.
393
00:11:25,651 --> 00:11:26,652
What?
394
00:11:26,719 --> 00:11:28,220
[ sighs ]
395
00:11:28,287 --> 00:11:29,722
Sure. What's his name?
396
00:11:29,789 --> 00:11:30,389
Dengar?
397
00:11:30,456 --> 00:11:31,323
Sounds good.
398
00:11:31,390 --> 00:11:33,159
Yeah, no, we'll bring him in
399
00:11:33,225 --> 00:11:34,093
First thing.
400
00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:35,361
Okay. Okay, bye-bye.
401
00:11:35,428 --> 00:11:36,962
Sheila's husband's a bounty
402
00:11:37,029 --> 00:11:37,763
Hunter.
403
00:11:37,830 --> 00:11:39,098
I told her we'd give him a
404
00:11:39,165 --> 00:11:41,367
Look-see.
405
00:11:41,434 --> 00:11:42,668
>> [ mechanical breathing ]
406
00:11:42,735 --> 00:11:44,270
>> bet that knee's starting to
407
00:11:44,336 --> 00:11:45,271
Hurt.
408
00:11:48,607 --> 00:11:50,176
Person, not an actor, so to tell
409
00:11:50,242 --> 00:11:51,710
Her story, we hired the star of
410
00:11:51,777 --> 00:11:52,678
"Phantom menace."
411
00:11:52,745 --> 00:11:54,413
>> I was driving down my street
412
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:56,015
When a truck hit me head-on.
413
00:11:56,082 --> 00:11:57,083
>> osa-noes!
414
00:11:57,149 --> 00:11:58,951
There's a truck a-comin'!
415
00:11:59,018 --> 00:12:00,553
Aaaah!
416
00:12:00,619 --> 00:12:02,421
We's-a gonna die!
417
00:12:02,488 --> 00:12:03,255
>> yes.
418
00:12:03,322 --> 00:12:05,091
I was fine, but the car was
419
00:12:05,157 --> 00:12:05,891
Totaled.
420
00:12:05,958 --> 00:12:07,226
>> whoo-ee patootie!
421
00:12:07,293 --> 00:12:08,127
It's a mess!
422
00:12:08,194 --> 00:12:09,929
Got the engine over here, but
423
00:12:09,995 --> 00:12:11,864
The wheel for steerin' way over
424
00:12:11,931 --> 00:12:12,264
There!
425
00:12:12,531 --> 00:12:13,332
Aah!
426
00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:14,600
>> my agent at gecko insurance
427
00:12:14,667 --> 00:12:16,135
Sent me a check right away.
428
00:12:16,202 --> 00:12:18,204
>> you-sa not even gonna believe
429
00:12:18,270 --> 00:12:18,771
This.
430
00:12:18,838 --> 00:12:19,505
Ja wheh.
431
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:20,673
We win da money.
432
00:12:20,739 --> 00:12:21,807
Whoopee!
433
00:12:21,874 --> 00:12:23,142
Wha-aaaah!
434
00:12:23,209 --> 00:12:24,043
Whoa!
435
00:12:24,110 --> 00:12:25,744
>> um, I think I was explaining
436
00:12:25,811 --> 00:12:27,113
It better than he was.
437
00:12:27,179 --> 00:12:28,914
>> gecko -- real help.
438
00:12:28,981 --> 00:12:29,982
Real money.
439
00:12:30,049 --> 00:12:32,051
>> me-sa thinks me broke me
440
00:12:32,118 --> 00:12:33,219
Bombad spine!
441
00:12:33,285 --> 00:12:35,721
Did -- did they say cut?
442
00:12:35,788 --> 00:12:36,689
>> bounty hunters?
443
00:12:36,755 --> 00:12:37,923
We don't need their scum.
444
00:12:37,990 --> 00:12:39,458
>> my brother's a bounty hunter,
445
00:12:39,525 --> 00:12:41,026
Gareth.
446
00:12:44,530 --> 00:12:46,265
>> there will be a substantial
447
00:12:46,332 --> 00:12:48,134
Reward for whoever captures the
448
00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:50,002
Millennium falcon.
449
00:12:50,069 --> 00:12:52,104
Is he paying attention?
450
00:12:52,171 --> 00:12:56,242
[ mechanical breathing ]
451
00:12:56,308 --> 00:12:58,978
[ horn sounds, crowd cheering ]
452
00:12:59,044 --> 00:13:00,079
>> can't wait to get started,
453
00:13:00,146 --> 00:13:00,980
Right, fellas?
454
00:13:01,046 --> 00:13:01,881
Got to hunt that bounty, but the
455
00:13:01,947 --> 00:13:02,815
Bounty's in the hunt, I always
456
00:13:03,082 --> 00:13:03,816
Say.
457
00:13:03,883 --> 00:13:04,583
Tricks of the trade, trade
458
00:13:04,650 --> 00:13:05,217
Secret -- disintegration
459
00:13:05,284 --> 00:13:06,051
Devices.
460
00:13:06,118 --> 00:13:06,952
D-guns, d-bombs, d-missiles.
461
00:13:07,019 --> 00:13:08,053
I'm the disintegration machine.
462
00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:09,355
Want a guy disintegrated, get me
463
00:13:09,421 --> 00:13:10,089
Integrated.
464
00:13:10,156 --> 00:13:10,856
That's dengar's motto.
465
00:13:10,923 --> 00:13:12,491
>> I want them alive.
466
00:13:12,558 --> 00:13:13,993
No disintegrations.
467
00:13:14,059 --> 00:13:15,227
>> as you wish.
468
00:13:15,294 --> 00:13:16,428
>> aw, shucks.
469
00:13:16,495 --> 00:13:17,396
See you at the finish line,
470
00:13:17,463 --> 00:13:18,063
A-hole.
471
00:13:18,130 --> 00:13:18,864
>> where my keys?
472
00:13:18,931 --> 00:13:19,365
Best bounty hunter in the
473
00:13:19,431 --> 00:13:20,199
League.
474
00:13:20,266 --> 00:13:21,000
>> better stop soft-shoeing.
475
00:13:21,066 --> 00:13:22,334
>> we are bounty hunters!
476
00:13:24,904 --> 00:13:26,372
>> I got to say, boba, this is
477
00:13:26,438 --> 00:13:27,540
One beauty of a ship.
478
00:13:27,606 --> 00:13:29,041
I'm not crazy about the name,
479
00:13:29,108 --> 00:13:29,942
Though.
480
00:13:30,009 --> 00:13:31,310
I've made a deal that will keep
481
00:13:31,377 --> 00:13:32,978
The empire out of our affairs
482
00:13:33,045 --> 00:13:37,716
Forever.
483
00:13:37,783 --> 00:13:42,922
>> [ roars ]
484
00:13:42,988 --> 00:13:44,890
>> we'd be honored if you could
485
00:13:44,957 --> 00:13:47,393
Join us.
486
00:14:00,873 --> 00:14:05,277
[ grumbling ]
487
00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:09,415
[ slurping ]
488
00:14:09,481 --> 00:14:10,849
>> c-can I get a little more
489
00:14:10,916 --> 00:14:11,317
Water?
490
00:14:11,383 --> 00:14:12,184
>> what?
491
00:14:12,251 --> 00:14:13,352
>> nothing! [ clears throat ]
492
00:14:13,419 --> 00:14:18,591
I just asked for more water.
493
00:14:18,857 --> 00:14:19,725
Hmm?
494
00:14:19,792 --> 00:14:21,460
>> keek!
495
00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:22,695
>> [ growls ]
496
00:14:22,761 --> 00:14:24,230
>> peow!
497
00:14:24,296 --> 00:14:26,999
>> [ blowing ]
498
00:14:27,066 --> 00:14:29,668
>> [ imitates creaking ]
499
00:14:29,735 --> 00:14:30,936
>> [ growls ]
500
00:14:31,003 --> 00:14:32,504
>> so, how we doing?
501
00:14:32,571 --> 00:14:34,106
Leia, how's the soup?
502
00:14:34,173 --> 00:14:36,175
You ever had soup this good?
503
00:14:36,242 --> 00:14:37,743
>> yes, on alderaan.
504
00:14:37,810 --> 00:14:40,512
>> hey, princess, let it
505
00:14:40,579 --> 00:14:44,415
G-o-o-o-o-o-o.
506
00:14:44,483 --> 00:14:45,417
"Oh, help me.
507
00:14:45,484 --> 00:14:47,119
We're a peaceful planet."
508
00:14:47,186 --> 00:14:48,854
"You may fire when ready."
509
00:14:48,921 --> 00:14:52,591
Ka-bo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-om!
510
00:14:52,658 --> 00:14:53,359
Big laser.
511
00:14:53,425 --> 00:14:54,927
[ imitates gunfire ]
512
00:14:54,994 --> 00:14:57,062
Alderaan chunks everywhere.
513
00:14:57,129 --> 00:15:02,901
Psheeeew!
514
00:15:02,968 --> 00:15:05,504
>> anyone, uh -- anyone got a
515
00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:06,138
Joke?
516
00:15:06,205 --> 00:15:07,006
>> I've got one.
517
00:15:07,072 --> 00:15:08,407
Who's got two thumbs and
518
00:15:08,474 --> 00:15:10,843
Betrayed his best friend?
519
00:15:10,909 --> 00:15:12,244
This guy!
520
00:15:12,311 --> 00:15:14,413
[ laughs ]
521
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:15,848
Uh, too soon?
522
00:15:15,914 --> 00:15:18,717
>> well, it's been a time and a
523
00:15:18,784 --> 00:15:19,518
Half.
524
00:15:19,585 --> 00:15:21,186
But -- [ yawns ]
525
00:15:21,253 --> 00:15:23,422
Lot of torturing to do.
526
00:15:23,489 --> 00:15:25,291
A-broo-boo-boo.
527
00:15:25,357 --> 00:15:27,359
Do-de-da-le-do-do.
528
00:15:27,426 --> 00:15:30,296
Aroooo!
529
00:15:30,362 --> 00:15:32,131
>> hi. Have you or someone you
530
00:15:32,197 --> 00:15:33,499
Know been permanently
531
00:15:33,565 --> 00:15:34,933
Handicapped by a jedi?
532
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:36,769
If so, call me, bob goldstein,
533
00:15:36,835 --> 00:15:38,070
At naboo-5-sue-jedi.
534
00:15:38,137 --> 00:15:39,705
I'll get you the money you
535
00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:41,040
Deserve fast.
536
00:15:50,616 --> 00:15:51,617
I have over 10 years'
537
00:15:51,684 --> 00:15:53,018
Experience, and I'm ready to
538
00:15:53,085 --> 00:15:53,852
Work for you.
539
00:15:53,919 --> 00:15:55,087
>> at last we will have our
540
00:15:55,154 --> 00:15:55,721
Revenge.
541
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:57,089
>> you call now.
542
00:15:57,156 --> 00:15:58,524
>> I love you.
543
00:15:58,590 --> 00:15:59,658
>> I know.
544
00:15:59,725 --> 00:16:00,993
>> [ moans ]
545
00:16:01,060 --> 00:16:03,462
>> that I did not know.
546
00:16:03,529 --> 00:16:04,797
>> leia and the wookiee must
547
00:16:04,863 --> 00:16:06,131
Never again leave this city.
548
00:16:06,198 --> 00:16:07,633
>> that was never a condition of
549
00:16:07,700 --> 00:16:09,068
Our arrangement, nor was giving
550
00:16:09,134 --> 00:16:10,336
Han to this bounty hunter.
551
00:16:10,402 --> 00:16:12,104
>> I have altered the deal.
552
00:16:12,171 --> 00:16:13,772
Pray I don't alter it any
553
00:16:13,839 --> 00:16:14,673
Further.
554
00:16:14,740 --> 00:16:16,141
>> this deal's getting worse all
555
00:16:16,208 --> 00:16:17,009
The time.
556
00:16:17,076 --> 00:16:18,410
>> furthermore, I wish you to
557
00:16:18,477 --> 00:16:19,912
Wear this dress and bonnet.
558
00:16:19,978 --> 00:16:21,680
>> this was never a condition of
559
00:16:21,747 --> 00:16:22,681
Our arrangement.
560
00:16:22,748 --> 00:16:24,183
>> I have altered the deal.
561
00:16:24,249 --> 00:16:26,051
Pray I don't alter it any
562
00:16:26,118 --> 00:16:26,952
Further.
563
00:16:27,019 --> 00:16:28,354
>> this deal's getting worse all
564
00:16:28,420 --> 00:16:29,088
The time.
565
00:16:29,154 --> 00:16:30,255
>> here is a unicycle.
566
00:16:30,322 --> 00:16:31,657
You will ride it wherever you
567
00:16:31,924 --> 00:16:32,658
Go.
568
00:16:32,725 --> 00:16:33,659
>> what? I'm not riding no
569
00:16:33,726 --> 00:16:34,693
[bleep] Unicycle!
570
00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:36,161
>> I have altered the deal.
571
00:16:36,228 --> 00:16:37,696
Pray I don't alter it any
572
00:16:37,763 --> 00:16:38,564
Further.
573
00:16:38,630 --> 00:16:40,132
>> this deal is getting worse
574
00:16:40,199 --> 00:16:41,033
All the time!
575
00:16:41,100 --> 00:16:42,835
>> also, you are to wear these
576
00:16:42,901 --> 00:16:44,336
Clown shoes and refer to
577
00:16:44,403 --> 00:16:45,471
Yourself as mary.
578
00:16:45,537 --> 00:16:46,905
>> oh [bleep] You, man!
579
00:16:46,972 --> 00:16:48,040
I'm not doing it!
580
00:16:48,107 --> 00:16:49,808
>> I have altered the deal.
581
00:16:49,875 --> 00:16:51,477
Pray I don't alter it any
582
00:16:51,543 --> 00:16:52,177
Further.
583
00:16:52,244 --> 00:16:55,447
>> this deal...
584
00:16:55,514 --> 00:16:57,349
Is very fair, and I'm happy to
585
00:16:57,415 --> 00:17:00,686
Be a part of it.
586
00:17:00,753 --> 00:17:05,124
[ shoe squeaks ]
587
00:17:05,190 --> 00:17:07,559
>> join me, and together we can
588
00:17:07,626 --> 00:17:09,694
Rule the galaxy as father and
589
00:17:09,962 --> 00:17:10,561
Son.
590
00:17:10,628 --> 00:17:12,263
>> father and son?
591
00:17:12,531 --> 00:17:13,766
Huh.
592
00:17:13,832 --> 00:17:15,166
>> ♪ think of all the time
593
00:17:15,233 --> 00:17:17,403
We wasted ♪
594
00:17:17,469 --> 00:17:21,707
♪ so many plans we never made ♪
595
00:17:21,773 --> 00:17:23,442
>> okay, don't let go.
596
00:17:23,509 --> 00:17:25,676
Don't let go, dad.
597
00:17:25,743 --> 00:17:28,113
Don't -- don't let go.
598
00:17:28,180 --> 00:17:29,014
I'm doing it!
599
00:17:29,081 --> 00:17:29,615
Whoo!
600
00:17:29,681 --> 00:17:30,449
I'm doing it!
601
00:17:30,516 --> 00:17:31,150
I'm doing it!
602
00:17:31,417 --> 00:17:32,451
Dad!
603
00:17:32,518 --> 00:17:33,685
Yeah!
604
00:17:33,752 --> 00:17:37,523
[ dance music plays ]
605
00:17:37,589 --> 00:17:40,692
>> hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
606
00:17:40,959 --> 00:17:41,827
Hey!
607
00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:42,861
>> ♪ crack, jam, take it down,
608
00:17:42,928 --> 00:17:43,562
Slam it ♪
609
00:17:43,629 --> 00:17:44,463
♪ pick it back up,
610
00:17:44,530 --> 00:17:46,832
But don't forget to ram it ♪
611
00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:48,467
>> ♪ I make the rounds,
612
00:17:48,534 --> 00:17:49,701
Then I double back ♪
613
00:17:49,768 --> 00:17:50,869
♪ 'cause I'm doubling twice
614
00:17:50,936 --> 00:17:51,637
Around ♪
615
00:17:51,703 --> 00:17:52,905
♪ I make the rounds,
616
00:17:52,971 --> 00:17:53,939
Then I double back ♪
617
00:17:54,006 --> 00:17:55,174
♪ 'cause I'm doubling twice
618
00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:56,008
Around ♪
619
00:17:56,074 --> 00:17:58,977
♪ I make the rounds ♪
620
00:17:59,044 --> 00:18:01,613
>> father and son.
621
00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:05,484
Wh-wh-aaaaah!
622
00:18:05,551 --> 00:18:06,852
>> aah!
623
00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:07,686
>> what?
624
00:18:07,753 --> 00:18:08,954
>> oh, I said, aah, I can't
625
00:18:09,021 --> 00:18:10,656
Believe this apartment's priced
626
00:18:10,722 --> 00:18:11,490
So low.
627
00:18:11,557 --> 00:18:12,991
It's got a washer and dryer,
628
00:18:13,058 --> 00:18:13,926
Central air.
629
00:18:13,992 --> 00:18:15,327
>> what does this do?
630
00:18:15,394 --> 00:18:17,329
>> you know, I'm not quite sure.
631
00:18:17,396 --> 00:18:21,133
Uh, garbage disposal?
632
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:22,367
>> aaah!
633
00:18:22,434 --> 00:18:23,836
>> well, apparently it does
634
00:18:23,902 --> 00:18:24,703
Nothing.
635
00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:26,004
How's the cable in this place?
636
00:18:26,071 --> 00:18:28,307
>> crystal clear satellite tv.
637
00:18:28,373 --> 00:18:29,942
>> aah! Ugh!
638
00:18:30,008 --> 00:18:30,843
>> [ scoffs ]
639
00:18:30,909 --> 00:18:31,677
Cloud city.
640
00:18:31,743 --> 00:18:33,245
More like crap city if you ask
641
00:18:33,512 --> 00:18:34,680
Me.
642
00:18:34,746 --> 00:18:36,515
>> I'll have the calamari.
643
00:18:36,582 --> 00:18:38,150
>> well, I guess I'll have the
644
00:18:38,217 --> 00:18:39,818
Insensitive bitch, with a side
645
00:18:39,885 --> 00:18:41,119
Of [bleep] You.
646
00:18:41,186 --> 00:18:42,621
>> aaaaah!
647
00:18:42,688 --> 00:18:43,255
Hello!
648
00:18:43,322 --> 00:18:44,256
Meant to do it.
649
00:18:44,323 --> 00:18:45,457
>> thank goodness.
650
00:18:45,524 --> 00:18:47,092
I thought I was doing this
651
00:18:47,159 --> 00:18:48,760
Thousand years of digestion
652
00:18:48,827 --> 00:18:49,461
Alone.
653
00:18:49,528 --> 00:18:50,662
How did you fall in?
654
00:18:50,729 --> 00:18:51,730
>> what? Fell in?
655
00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:52,531
Ha ha!
656
00:18:52,598 --> 00:18:53,765
Volunteered, more like it.
657
00:18:53,832 --> 00:18:55,067
You should've seen it.
658
00:18:55,133 --> 00:18:56,735
You would've dug it the most.
659
00:18:56,802 --> 00:18:58,003
I was flying around with my jet
660
00:18:58,070 --> 00:18:59,238
Pack, just smokin' rebels with
661
00:18:59,304 --> 00:19:00,005
My laser.
662
00:19:00,072 --> 00:19:00,873
Ba-boom ba-boom ba-boom.
663
00:19:00,939 --> 00:19:02,074
Han solo was all, "Hey, wait."
664
00:19:02,140 --> 00:19:03,275
And I'm like, "Oh, I've been
665
00:19:03,342 --> 00:19:04,443
Waiting for this for a long
666
00:19:04,510 --> 00:19:05,077
Time, solo."
667
00:19:05,143 --> 00:19:05,978
Ba-bang!
668
00:19:06,044 --> 00:19:07,546
The big, bad wookiee be growling
669
00:19:07,613 --> 00:19:08,380
In hell now.
670
00:19:08,447 --> 00:19:09,748
I even put one between
671
00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:11,517
Skywalker's eyes, right between
672
00:19:11,583 --> 00:19:12,951
Those pretty baby blues.
673
00:19:13,018 --> 00:19:14,953
But then jabba the hutt was all,
674
00:19:15,020 --> 00:19:16,889
"Oh, no, this guy's too badass,
675
00:19:16,955 --> 00:19:17,689
Man."
676
00:19:17,756 --> 00:19:19,091
So then 80 jedi showed up.
677
00:19:19,157 --> 00:19:21,059
I took out about 67 of them, but
678
00:19:21,126 --> 00:19:22,694
Then 20 dudes finally flanked
679
00:19:22,961 --> 00:19:23,795
Me.
680
00:19:23,862 --> 00:19:24,730
And I was like, "You know what,
681
00:19:24,796 --> 00:19:25,631
Kids?
682
00:19:25,697 --> 00:19:26,532
It's been real, daddy-o, but I'm
683
00:19:26,598 --> 00:19:27,833
Not giving you the pleasure."
684
00:19:27,900 --> 00:19:29,401
So I jumped into the pit myself.
685
00:19:29,468 --> 00:19:30,969
On the way down, I was thinking,
686
00:19:31,036 --> 00:19:32,471
Maybe I should have left 'em a
687
00:19:32,538 --> 00:19:33,372
Party favor.
688
00:19:33,438 --> 00:19:34,706
Oh, I did -- a thermo detonator
689
00:19:34,773 --> 00:19:35,741
Right up their ass.
690
00:19:35,807 --> 00:19:36,475
Ba-boom!
691
00:19:36,542 --> 00:19:37,776
>> oh, that's awesome.
692
00:19:37,843 --> 00:19:39,611
At least you didn't go out like
693
00:19:39,678 --> 00:19:40,212
A punk.
694
00:19:40,279 --> 00:19:41,013
>> yeah.
695
00:19:41,079 --> 00:19:42,281
Oh, 'cause I looked like a
696
00:19:42,347 --> 00:19:42,848
Badass.
697
00:19:42,915 --> 00:19:43,682
[ sniffles ]
698
00:19:43,749 --> 00:19:45,717
[ sobbing ]
699
00:19:45,784 --> 00:19:47,219
>> are you crying?
700
00:19:47,286 --> 00:19:47,753
>> no.
701
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:48,554
Huh?
702
00:19:48,620 --> 00:19:49,721
That's funny.
703
00:19:49,788 --> 00:19:50,956
[ sniffles ]
704
00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:52,691
Da-da-da daaaaa-da.
705
00:19:52,758 --> 00:19:54,560
Da-da-da daaaaa-da.
706
00:19:54,626 --> 00:19:56,395
I'm okay.
707
00:19:56,461 --> 00:19:57,496
>> welcome, my master.
708
00:19:57,563 --> 00:19:58,931
The death star construction --
709
00:19:58,997 --> 00:20:00,399
>> yeah, great. Fine. Whatever.
710
00:20:00,465 --> 00:20:01,633
That flight was a [bleep]
711
00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:02,534
Nightmare, man.
712
00:20:02,601 --> 00:20:03,936
My stupid tray table broke, and
713
00:20:04,002 --> 00:20:05,237
I ended up with a gallon of
714
00:20:05,304 --> 00:20:06,271
Coffee in my crotch.
715
00:20:06,338 --> 00:20:07,906
It's like dunking my wang in hot
716
00:20:07,973 --> 00:20:09,374
Lava, something you have some
717
00:20:09,441 --> 00:20:10,909
Experience with, I guess, huh?
718
00:20:10,976 --> 00:20:11,410
Right?
719
00:20:11,476 --> 00:20:11,944
>> yes.
720
00:20:12,010 --> 00:20:12,611
>> ha ha!
721
00:20:12,678 --> 00:20:13,579
>> is that yours?
722
00:20:13,645 --> 00:20:15,247
>> no, for the hundredth time,
723
00:20:15,314 --> 00:20:16,682
That's that same stupid black
724
00:20:16,949 --> 00:20:17,716
Bag.
725
00:20:17,783 --> 00:20:18,817
Mine doesn't have a stripe.
726
00:20:18,884 --> 00:20:20,385
It's like that stripy bag is
727
00:20:20,452 --> 00:20:21,153
Mocking me.
728
00:20:21,219 --> 00:20:23,088
[bleep] You, stripy bag.
729
00:20:23,155 --> 00:20:25,290
Well, my suitcase is gone.
730
00:20:25,357 --> 00:20:26,792
Sacrificed to the airport gods.
731
00:20:26,858 --> 00:20:28,193
Now I'm here for two [bleep]
732
00:20:28,260 --> 00:20:30,095
Weeks with one [bleep] Robe.
733
00:20:30,162 --> 00:20:31,163
All right, now it's sticking to
734
00:20:31,229 --> 00:20:33,332
Me like a wet kleenex.
735
00:20:33,398 --> 00:20:35,834
Wow, for real?
736
00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:38,070
Yeah, guess I'll just be killing
737
00:20:38,136 --> 00:20:39,171
Myself, then.
738
00:20:39,237 --> 00:20:40,706
Good chair, good chair.
739
00:20:40,772 --> 00:20:42,074
Nice lumbar support.
740
00:20:42,140 --> 00:20:45,010
Great view of...Utter blackness.
741
00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:47,145
[ air-conditioning humming ]
742
00:20:47,212 --> 00:20:48,747
Oh, for -- I'm right under the
743
00:20:48,814 --> 00:20:50,015
Air-conditioning vent.
744
00:20:50,082 --> 00:20:51,583
And the chair's bolted to the
745
00:20:51,650 --> 00:20:52,317
Floor?
746
00:20:52,384 --> 00:20:53,285
Who's the brainiac --
747
00:20:53,352 --> 00:20:54,953
Hey, crayola, help me shut this
748
00:20:55,020 --> 00:20:55,821
Vent.
749
00:20:55,887 --> 00:20:56,855
Yeah, reach up there with your
750
00:20:56,922 --> 00:20:58,390
Staff of ra and --
751
00:20:58,457 --> 00:21:02,761
[ air gusting ]
752
00:21:02,828 --> 00:21:04,630
Hey, want to see me tempt fate?
753
00:21:04,696 --> 00:21:06,365
Could this day get any worse?
754
00:21:06,431 --> 00:21:08,233
I did it ironically, so I think
755
00:21:08,300 --> 00:21:09,901
I'm safe.
756
00:21:11,269 --> 00:21:12,004
What are you doing?
757
00:21:12,070 --> 00:21:12,571
Put me down.
758
00:21:12,638 --> 00:21:14,539
Aaaah!
759
00:21:14,606 --> 00:21:16,041
[ chickens clucking "Star wars"
760
00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:18,043
Theme ]
761
00:21:45,537 --> 00:21:46,838
>> convene all ships on endor.
762
00:21:46,905 --> 00:21:48,240
I want the moon obliterated and
763
00:21:48,306 --> 00:21:49,641
The rebels wiped from the face
764
00:21:49,708 --> 00:21:50,375
Of the galaxy.
765
00:21:50,442 --> 00:21:51,276
>> sorry, sir.
766
00:21:51,343 --> 00:21:52,377
Actually, we can't.
767
00:21:52,444 --> 00:21:53,545
The rebels have won.
768
00:21:53,612 --> 00:21:55,180
>> what do you mean, they won?
769
00:21:55,247 --> 00:21:56,748
We have tens of thousands of
770
00:21:56,815 --> 00:21:57,549
Ships.
771
00:21:57,616 --> 00:21:58,450
We -- we control countless
772
00:21:58,517 --> 00:21:59,317
Worlds.
773
00:21:59,384 --> 00:22:00,252
We have millions of troops at
774
00:22:00,318 --> 00:22:01,086
Our disposal.
775
00:22:01,153 --> 00:22:02,220
>> but they just blew up the
776
00:22:02,287 --> 00:22:04,356
Second death star and killed the
777
00:22:04,423 --> 00:22:05,090
Emperor.
778
00:22:05,157 --> 00:22:05,924
>> so?
779
00:22:05,991 --> 00:22:06,858
>> so, that means they won.
780
00:22:06,925 --> 00:22:08,326
>> how does that mean they won?
781
00:22:08,393 --> 00:22:09,661
They blew up the first death
782
00:22:09,728 --> 00:22:11,196
Star years ago, and the fighting
783
00:22:11,263 --> 00:22:12,097
Continued.
784
00:22:12,164 --> 00:22:13,465
>> yes, but they didn't kill the
785
00:22:13,532 --> 00:22:14,166
Emperor.
786
00:22:14,232 --> 00:22:15,200
They had to do both.
787
00:22:15,267 --> 00:22:16,468
>> we can't fight back?
788
00:22:16,535 --> 00:22:17,335
>> no. Sorry.
789
00:22:17,402 --> 00:22:18,704
This is the end of the empire.
790
00:22:18,770 --> 00:22:19,404
>> really?
791
00:22:19,471 --> 00:22:21,773
>> yeah, 'fraid so.
792
00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:23,075
That's it, then.
793
00:22:23,141 --> 00:22:24,710
>> what do we do now?
794
00:22:24,776 --> 00:22:26,678
>> I guess we can go get a
795
00:22:26,745 --> 00:22:27,479
Massage.
796
00:22:27,546 --> 00:22:28,980
>> let's do that.
47655
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