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[ thunder crashing ]
[ drilling, sawing ]
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[ electricity crackling ]
>> it's alive!
3
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[ electricity crackling ]
>> it's alive!
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[ liquid pouring ]
>> welcome back to "First date,"
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Where we've already matched up
Some unlikely couples -- a geek
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00:00:49,115 --> 00:00:51,718
With a beauty queen, a
Basketball player with a dwarf,
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00:00:51,785 --> 00:00:54,954
And "Jackass" star steve-o with
Someone who isn't a loser.
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00:00:55,021 --> 00:00:57,157
But this time, we've outdone
Ourselves.
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00:00:57,223 --> 00:01:00,160
Susan hails from los angeles,
And, like all of us, she's
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00:01:00,226 --> 00:01:02,796
Looking to be bitten -- that is,
Smitten -- by love.
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00:01:02,862 --> 00:01:06,065
>> so, I was, like, raised
Jewish, and family's very
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Important to me.
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If my dad knew how important sex
Was to me, I would die.
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[ giggles ]
>> whew!
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Daddy's little princess has a
Wild streak.
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00:01:14,407 --> 00:01:16,209
Think we can find someone to
Tame her?
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Douglas is a predator from
Newark, new jersey, who prides
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00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:20,513
Himself on his trophy
Collection.
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But are women just part of the
Hunt for him?
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00:01:22,615 --> 00:01:24,017
>> sure, I respect women.
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One time this girl I knew had
Big boobs.
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And I respect that.
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I'm a gentleman.
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If someone disrespects my girl,
I'll skin him.
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You know, I'm sweet like that.
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00:01:33,059 --> 00:01:35,395
>> one's an alien, the other's a
Predator.
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Will they have chemistry, or is
This a case of science
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00:01:38,431 --> 00:01:41,701
Friction?
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00:01:41,768 --> 00:01:42,402
>> oh, hi.
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>> oh, hi.
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[ giggles ]
>> are you susan?
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>> yes. Nice to meet you.
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00:01:46,271 --> 00:01:47,140
>> I'm douglas.
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>> [ giggles ]
[ buzz! ]
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Mm, yeah.
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Beautiful day we're having.
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00:01:52,110 --> 00:01:54,180
>> yeah. Yeah. It's great.
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00:01:55,882 --> 00:01:58,017
>> so, what kind of guys do you
Usually date?
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00:01:58,084 --> 00:01:59,219
>> oh --
[ giggles ]
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...I don't know.
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I don't really have a type.
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00:02:02,322 --> 00:02:04,924
My father may not approve of
You, though, since I'm jewish
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00:02:04,991 --> 00:02:06,292
And you're predator-american.
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00:02:06,359 --> 00:02:08,794
>> oh, he's kind of protective,
Huh?
45
00:02:08,862 --> 00:02:09,896
>> yeah, totally.
46
00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:11,097
He's kind of tough.
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00:02:11,164 --> 00:02:15,068
[ whap! Whap! Whap! Whap! ]
>> so...
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00:02:15,134 --> 00:02:17,971
How important is sex to you in a
Relationship?
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00:02:18,037 --> 00:02:18,972
>> oh, I don't know.
50
00:02:19,038 --> 00:02:20,206
Pretty important, I guess.
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00:02:20,273 --> 00:02:22,942
>> [ laughing ] Yeah, I don't
Know what I'd do without sex.
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I got to have it all the time!
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00:02:24,377 --> 00:02:25,345
>> all the time, huh?
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00:02:25,411 --> 00:02:27,079
[ clank! ]
>> hot tubs are nice, aren't
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00:02:29,649 --> 00:02:30,716
They?
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00:02:30,783 --> 00:02:34,254
I also love the way the
Moonlight on the water brings
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00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:37,323
Out the shine on your giant
Shell.
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00:02:37,390 --> 00:02:38,691
>> oh!
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00:02:38,758 --> 00:02:41,728
[ crowd booing, jeering ]
>> don't do it!
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00:02:41,793 --> 00:02:43,329
>> you can do better!
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00:02:43,396 --> 00:02:45,965
Ew! Yuck!
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00:02:46,031 --> 00:02:48,334
>> so, it was really nice
Meeting you.
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00:02:48,401 --> 00:02:50,837
You're, um, you're a really nice
Person.
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00:02:50,904 --> 00:02:51,838
[ clank! ]
[ gasps ]
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00:02:51,905 --> 00:02:52,338
>> ugh!
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00:02:52,405 --> 00:02:53,106
>> oh, my god.
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00:02:53,172 --> 00:02:53,840
I'm so sorry.
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00:02:53,906 --> 00:02:56,376
>> [ gurgling ]
>> are you okay?
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00:02:56,442 --> 00:02:57,410
Um...
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00:02:57,477 --> 00:03:00,013
>> [ gurgling continues ]
>> you want a band-aid?
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00:03:00,079 --> 00:03:01,080
[ beeping ]
>> whoa-ho.
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00:03:02,649 --> 00:03:04,584
That date didn't end well, did
It, folks?
73
00:03:04,651 --> 00:03:06,052
Think they'll ever go out again?
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00:03:06,119 --> 00:03:09,422
Let's check back and ask them.
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00:03:09,489 --> 00:03:10,490
Guess not.
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00:03:10,557 --> 00:03:11,357
>> sector 5 is clear.
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00:03:11,424 --> 00:03:12,959
But we should check again before
We --
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00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:14,060
>> holy...
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00:03:14,127 --> 00:03:16,728
Rogers, what is that thing?
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00:03:16,796 --> 00:03:19,265
>> oh, my god!
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00:03:19,332 --> 00:03:21,034
Tell my mother I love her.
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00:03:21,100 --> 00:03:23,436
>> I'll tell her you died a
Hero.
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00:03:23,503 --> 00:03:26,839
[ explosion ]
No-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!
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00:03:26,906 --> 00:03:29,475
[ crying ]
Rogers!
85
00:03:29,542 --> 00:03:30,610
>> yeah!
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00:03:30,677 --> 00:03:33,413
I...Am...God!
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00:03:33,478 --> 00:03:40,920
[ cackles ]
[ electronic beeping, music ]
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00:03:40,987 --> 00:03:43,790
[ tires screech,
Metal crashes ]
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00:03:43,856 --> 00:03:45,491
>> hey, get away from the truck!
90
00:03:45,558 --> 00:03:46,526
It's gonna blow!
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00:03:46,593 --> 00:03:48,795
>> can anybody help this guy get
Out?
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00:03:48,861 --> 00:03:50,329
>> now's our chance, boys.
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00:03:50,396 --> 00:03:52,398
[ rapid beeping ]
>> tetsuo!
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00:03:56,168 --> 00:03:58,671
[ "Masterpiece theater"-type
Music plays ]
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00:03:58,738 --> 00:04:01,608
>> welcome back to the
"Carousel of tomorrow," where we
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00:04:01,674 --> 00:04:03,843
Look at humanity's march into
The future.
97
00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:07,180
Can you imagine, excited
Viewers, what marvels the
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00:04:07,246 --> 00:04:08,514
21st century holds?
99
00:04:08,581 --> 00:04:11,784
Why, just imagine -- the chinese
Say they're going to land a man
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00:04:11,851 --> 00:04:14,153
On the moon by the year 2020.
101
00:04:14,220 --> 00:04:16,656
What would that be like, do you
Think?
102
00:04:16,723 --> 00:04:18,156
>> meow. Meow.
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00:04:18,224 --> 00:04:20,192
Meow!
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00:04:20,259 --> 00:04:22,095
>> inspiring.
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00:04:22,161 --> 00:04:24,998
As we reach toward space, we
Also look inward.
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00:04:25,064 --> 00:04:28,501
The unlocking of the human
Genome will allow the birth of
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00:04:28,568 --> 00:04:30,303
Perfect babies in the future.
108
00:04:30,370 --> 00:04:33,673
Why, think of a world without
Disease...Or midgets --
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00:04:33,740 --> 00:04:37,310
Where every child is perfect in
Every way.
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00:04:37,377 --> 00:04:38,478
>> sieg heil!
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00:04:38,544 --> 00:04:41,414
>> and would you believe that as
High-speed internet access
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00:04:41,481 --> 00:04:44,617
Improves, doctors can perform
Complicated surgeries without
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00:04:44,683 --> 00:04:45,685
Leaving the beach?
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[ whirring, thumping ]
You will.
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00:04:49,255 --> 00:04:51,391
[ flatline ]
And in the future,
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00:04:51,457 --> 00:04:54,927
Virtual-reality sex will be
Perfected, and society will be
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00:04:54,994 --> 00:04:56,629
Forever changed.
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00:04:56,696 --> 00:04:58,698
[ funk music plays ]
>> mr. Wembley?
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00:05:02,335 --> 00:05:04,437
>> you like that, don't you,
Bitch?
120
00:05:04,504 --> 00:05:07,173
>> wake up, wake up, wake up,
Wake up.
121
00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:08,007
>> mayor mccheese!
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00:05:08,074 --> 00:05:09,208
Mayor mccheese!
123
00:05:09,275 --> 00:05:11,210
How do your views differ from
Governor schwarzenegger, given
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00:05:11,277 --> 00:05:13,646
That's he's a republican, and
You have a cheeseburger for a
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00:05:13,713 --> 00:05:14,280
Head?
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00:05:14,347 --> 00:05:16,015
>> it's a birth defect!
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00:05:16,082 --> 00:05:19,252
[ scoffs ]
I've dealt with prejudice all my
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00:05:19,318 --> 00:05:19,886
Life.
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00:05:19,952 --> 00:05:20,453
>> mr. Mayor!
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00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:21,654
Mr. Mayor!
131
00:05:21,721 --> 00:05:23,122
There have been allegations that
You've taken women to motel
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00:05:23,189 --> 00:05:27,593
Rooms and paid them to go to the
Bathroom on your chest.
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00:05:27,660 --> 00:05:28,828
>> uh, uh, uh...
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00:05:28,895 --> 00:05:30,897
Robble, robble, robble, robble.
135
00:05:31,764 --> 00:05:37,570
[ james bond-type music plays ]
[ gunshot ]
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00:05:37,637 --> 00:05:41,074
>> oh, don't get any blood on
The new carpet.
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00:05:41,140 --> 00:05:44,409
>> america's number-one judaic
Superspy is back in action.
138
00:05:44,477 --> 00:05:47,413
>> never mess with a man's
Roth ira!
139
00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:50,516
>> now, the hood-mounted
Gatling guns are quite deadly.
140
00:05:50,582 --> 00:05:52,185
>> how many miles per gallon?
141
00:05:52,251 --> 00:05:53,119
>> uh, 25 or so.
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00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:55,054
Now, the smoke-screen
Generator --
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00:05:55,121 --> 00:06:02,695
>> is that highway or city
Mileage?
144
00:06:02,762 --> 00:06:04,731
You expect me to talk,
Goyfinger?
145
00:06:04,797 --> 00:06:06,365
>> no, mr. Hashanah.
146
00:06:06,432 --> 00:06:08,568
I expect you to eat this blt!
147
00:06:08,634 --> 00:06:09,435
>> that's not kosher!
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00:06:09,502 --> 00:06:12,171
[ gagging ]
>> this summer, get chillin'
149
00:06:12,238 --> 00:06:13,906
With the tefillin.
150
00:06:15,408 --> 00:06:21,013
>> I would gladly pay you
Tuesday for a hamburger today.
151
00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:22,949
Good morning, everyone!
152
00:06:23,015 --> 00:06:25,885
I would gladly pay you
Tuesday --
153
00:06:25,952 --> 00:06:27,487
>> no deal, wimpy.
154
00:06:27,553 --> 00:06:28,521
>> oh, no!
155
00:06:28,588 --> 00:06:29,355
>> heh!
156
00:06:29,422 --> 00:06:32,391
>> [ sighs ]
No more hamburgers for old
157
00:06:32,457 --> 00:06:33,058
Wimpy.
158
00:06:33,126 --> 00:06:35,061
>> don't do that, dear boy.
159
00:06:35,128 --> 00:06:36,195
>> why not?
160
00:06:36,262 --> 00:06:39,031
>> why, just look at what
Everyone's lives would be like
161
00:06:39,098 --> 00:06:39,866
Without you.
162
00:06:39,932 --> 00:06:41,501
[ echoing ] Without you, without
You.
163
00:06:41,567 --> 00:06:43,069
>> good job, bluto.
164
00:06:43,136 --> 00:06:44,804
>> nice hair, popeye!.
165
00:06:44,871 --> 00:06:46,606
[ boing! Boing! ]
>> bouncy-bouncy.
166
00:06:46,672 --> 00:06:49,175
[ giggles ]
>> thanks for curing cancer,
167
00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:51,077
Alice the goon.
168
00:06:59,051 --> 00:07:01,053
>> oh, well, sorry for wasting
Your time.
169
00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:01,621
>> huh?
170
00:07:01,687 --> 00:07:03,956
Wh-o-o-oa!
171
00:07:04,023 --> 00:07:04,824
Hamburger!
172
00:07:04,891 --> 00:07:14,867
[ splash ]
[ electronic beeping, music ]
173
00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:28,414
[ splash ]
[ electronic beeping, music ]
174
00:07:28,481 --> 00:07:36,022
[ whoosh! Ting! ]
[ beeping, music continue ]
175
00:07:36,088 --> 00:07:37,023
[ thunk! ]
[ beeping stops ]
176
00:07:37,089 --> 00:07:42,228
[ clank! ]
[ crunch! ]
177
00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:48,501
[ music continues ]
[ click! Beep! ]
178
00:07:48,568 --> 00:07:52,705
[ beep! Beep! Beep! ]
[ beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! ]
179
00:07:52,772 --> 00:07:55,241
[ beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! ]
[ click! Beep! ]
180
00:07:55,308 --> 00:08:03,416
[ explosion ]
[ gunshot ]
181
00:08:03,482 --> 00:08:04,984
[ spray! ]
>> I don't wanna get married.
182
00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:15,862
I'll put my wedding ring on a
Stick.
183
00:08:15,928 --> 00:08:16,395
Eek!
184
00:08:16,462 --> 00:08:17,630
A cropse bride!
185
00:08:17,697 --> 00:08:19,131
>> that's not a stick.
186
00:08:19,198 --> 00:08:20,233
That's my hand.
187
00:08:20,299 --> 00:08:22,235
Now we're married, johnny depp!
188
00:08:22,301 --> 00:08:23,069
>> eek!
189
00:08:23,135 --> 00:08:25,037
>> all: skeleton dance, skeleton
Dance.
190
00:08:25,104 --> 00:08:27,740
Funky, funky skeleton dance.
191
00:08:27,807 --> 00:08:28,407
>> here.
192
00:08:28,474 --> 00:08:29,775
>> thank you for the present.
193
00:08:29,842 --> 00:08:30,843
>> bark, bark, bark.
194
00:08:30,910 --> 00:08:31,510
>> hooray!
195
00:08:31,577 --> 00:08:32,245
My dead dog.
196
00:08:32,311 --> 00:08:33,446
>> why is the dog dead?
197
00:08:33,511 --> 00:08:34,647
>> because dogs die.
198
00:08:34,713 --> 00:08:35,581
>> not my dog.
199
00:08:35,648 --> 00:08:36,282
>> uh-huh.
200
00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:37,015
>> nuh-unh.
201
00:08:37,082 --> 00:08:37,950
>> uh-huh.
202
00:08:38,017 --> 00:08:40,352
>> [ crying ]
>> now I will drink the poison
203
00:08:40,419 --> 00:08:42,520
So we can be married, cropse
Bride.
204
00:08:42,587 --> 00:08:43,688
>> it's corpse bride!
205
00:08:43,756 --> 00:08:45,124
>> I love you, johnny depp!
206
00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:46,092
>> ho, ho, ho.
207
00:08:46,158 --> 00:08:49,128
It was I who killed the copies
Bride.
208
00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:50,196
>> corpse!
209
00:08:50,263 --> 00:08:51,430
>> now I fight you!
210
00:08:51,497 --> 00:08:52,565
>> fight!
211
00:08:52,632 --> 00:08:55,067
>> fire, fire, bang, bang!
212
00:08:55,134 --> 00:08:56,669
>> stop motion!
213
00:08:56,736 --> 00:08:58,137
>> now drink this poison!
214
00:08:58,204 --> 00:08:58,804
>> okay.
215
00:08:58,871 --> 00:08:59,338
Uh-oh.
216
00:08:59,405 --> 00:09:00,873
I'm dead.
217
00:09:02,708 --> 00:09:04,310
>> and remember...
218
00:09:06,679 --> 00:09:07,546
>> yeech!
219
00:09:07,613 --> 00:09:10,483
[ laughter ]
>> don't drink poison.
220
00:09:10,549 --> 00:09:12,051
>> it's poison.
221
00:09:12,118 --> 00:09:14,120
>> [ groans ]
[ munching ]
222
00:09:27,166 --> 00:09:29,769
>> whazuuup, ponda?
223
00:09:32,338 --> 00:09:34,840
Let's bust out early and hit
That new cantina across the
224
00:09:34,907 --> 00:09:36,275
Street.
225
00:09:37,910 --> 00:09:39,045
Come on!
226
00:09:39,111 --> 00:09:40,947
One drink ain't gonna kill ya!
227
00:09:41,013 --> 00:09:45,651
[ "Cantina band" plays ]
>> [ babbling ]
228
00:09:45,718 --> 00:09:48,587
>> [ squeaking ]
>> like I'm really gonna eat a
229
00:09:48,654 --> 00:09:49,989
Bunch of bananas after that?
230
00:09:50,056 --> 00:09:52,058
[ both laugh ]
He doesn't like you.
231
00:10:03,302 --> 00:10:04,804
>> I'm sorry.
232
00:10:04,870 --> 00:10:06,739
>> I don't like you, either.
233
00:10:06,806 --> 00:10:08,607
You better watch yourself.
234
00:10:08,674 --> 00:10:10,676
We're wanted men.
235
00:10:10,743 --> 00:10:14,180
I have the death sentence on
12 systems.
236
00:10:14,246 --> 00:10:15,915
>> I'll be careful.
237
00:10:15,982 --> 00:10:17,483
>> you'll be dead.
238
00:10:19,185 --> 00:10:22,121
[ lightsaber ignites ]
>> [ screaming ]
239
00:10:22,188 --> 00:10:26,025
[ crying ]
>> gee, ponda, I just don't see
240
00:10:26,092 --> 00:10:31,030
How you can keep designing with
No drawing arm.
241
00:10:31,097 --> 00:10:35,267
I'm sorry, but we have to let
You go.
242
00:10:35,334 --> 00:10:37,670
>> ♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
243
00:10:37,737 --> 00:10:39,805
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
Bawk bawk ♪
244
00:10:39,872 --> 00:10:41,941
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
245
00:10:42,008 --> 00:10:44,110
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
Bawk bawk ♪
246
00:10:44,176 --> 00:10:46,245
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
247
00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:48,447
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
Bawk bawk ♪
248
00:10:48,514 --> 00:10:50,516
Ba-gawk! Bawk.
17259
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