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40 CRUSADERS
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SEVEN STORMY DAYS
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AN EERIE ISLAND
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FULL OF DANGER
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AND SECRETS
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COMING SOON TO THEATERS
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The story so far..
8
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So thereâs this, urn, guy
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and he has this, urn.
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kangaroo move into his apartment.
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And this guy
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had a crush on h/s neiqhbor.
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And his neighbor, urn, she...
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Let me do this.
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The story so far..
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In 1852
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in the ruins of AshurbaniaIâs Library
18
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in Nine veh,
a 3,000-year-old clay tablet was found.
19
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44 years later, Assyriologist
He/n rich Zimmern from Baden
20
00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:17,627
translated the writing
on the tablet into German.
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On the tablet, the arbiter of wisdom
Shaggil-kinam-ubib noted...
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00:02:24,603 --> 00:02:26,434
If you really look,
23
00:02:27,606 --> 00:02:29,517
you see that people are
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by and large, stupid.
25
00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:35,899
That sums things up pretty well.
26
00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:41,821
So, imagine you go to the movies.
27
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The movie starts, but you see nothing
28
00:02:43,914 --> 00:02:46,826
because itâs set in a dark restaurant.
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00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,412
-Okay.
-And lye already got a title.
30
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-Blind Date?
-Uh, yeah.
31
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You really canât see anything.
32
00:02:55,467 --> 00:02:57,958
Hey, stop!
You want me to do that to you?
33
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Ow! My eye!
34
00:03:00,222 --> 00:03:03,339
-I cant see! Iâm blind!
-Why exactly is the kangaroo here?
35
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-It just came along.
-He needs help.
36
00:03:06,061 --> 00:03:07,722
I donât need help!
37
00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:09,636
Well, then go ahead.
38
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So...
39
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It really is funny.
You cant see anything at all.
40
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If we cant talk on the first date,
itâll be tough.
41
00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:25,323
Isnât that inevitable? Do your parents
still talk to each other?
42
00:03:25,497 --> 00:03:27,613
-My dads dead.
-Oh, yeah. Right.
43
00:03:27,791 --> 00:03:28,871
Sorry.
44
00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:30,623
-Bling!
-Bling?
45
00:03:30,794 --> 00:03:33,126
-Iâm counting your blunders.
-Not helpful.
46
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All right, one vegan, one vegetarian,
and one with everything.
47
00:03:36,967 --> 00:03:38,207
Enjoy your meal.
48
00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:39,966
-Thank you.
-Finally.
49
00:03:42,806 --> 00:03:45,513
Howâs yours? Mineâs pretty dry.
50
00:03:45,684 --> 00:03:47,925
Because youâre eating the decorations.
51
00:03:48,103 --> 00:03:52,096
How dumb would it be to have decorations
in a dark restaurant?
52
00:03:52,274 --> 00:03:55,516
What are you doing?
You cant turn on a flashlight in here.
53
00:03:55,694 --> 00:03:58,151
Thats not a flashlight.
54
00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:00,566
-That is a flashlight.
-Dude!
55
00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:04,532
-What are you doing?
-I cant see anything.
56
00:04:04,703 --> 00:04:06,443
Thatâs the point.
57
00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:09,829
-l thought this was a dark restaurant.
-Yeah...
58
00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:14,334
I set my mom up on Facebook so
she wouldnt be so lonely in Backwood.
59
00:04:14,504 --> 00:04:17,746
But now shes denying climate change.
60
00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:20,165
-My uncle was afraid of chemtrails.
-Was?
61
00:04:20,343 --> 00:04:24,302
Yeah, he was always looking up
at the sky and got hit by a tram.
62
00:04:24,973 --> 00:04:28,181
-Sorry, of course, thatâs not funny.
-Well, it kind of is.
63
00:04:28,351 --> 00:04:31,468
Anyway, now my mom keeps sending me
Adam Krieger videos.
64
00:04:31,646 --> 00:04:35,434
At first I didnât take it seriously,
but now we just yell at each other.
65
00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:37,474
-Iâve got to go.
-Tell the waiter.
66
00:04:37,652 --> 00:04:41,019
Nonsense,
I have a great sense of direction.
67
00:04:41,740 --> 00:04:43,526
-Hey!
-Sorry, wrong direction.
68
00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:46,658
Please sneak out before the next date.
69
00:04:46,828 --> 00:04:48,693
-Sorry.
-I tried to do that today.
70
00:04:48,872 --> 00:04:51,329
Whose dog is running free in here?
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00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:54,700
TOILETS
72
00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:03,296
We have about 60 seconds.
Time to speed date.
73
00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:06,462
What is your favorite
book, film, animal,
74
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,972
color, city, country, river, joke?
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00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:12,179
âMomoâ, âThe Matrixâ, pig,
black, Paris, Portugal, Spree,
76
00:05:12,354 --> 00:05:15,096
and the joke: how do you recognize
a vegan at a party?
77
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Shell tell you.
78
00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:19,766
Now you.
79
00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:22,770
-Can I...
-No.
80
00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:25,230
-. name five each?
-No.
81
00:05:31,081 --> 00:05:33,117
WHERE YOU ATE?
SPILL DONT STARE
82
00:05:33,291 --> 00:05:35,873
Why is it red
if youâre not supposed to push it?
83
00:05:36,127 --> 00:05:37,412
Get out!
84
00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:41,289
-Your table decorations are far too dry!
-Dont touch me.
85
00:05:41,550 --> 00:05:43,757
And whereâs my flashlight?
86
00:05:44,803 --> 00:05:48,796
-Banned!
-III come again... Uh, be back!
87
00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:51,890
Oh, damn it. Screwed up the quote.
88
00:05:52,727 --> 00:05:54,558
Im your uncle...
89
00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:58,226
-. ..father.
-Fly, you clowns...
90
00:05:58,483 --> 00:06:00,019
Urn... fools.
91
00:06:00,944 --> 00:06:02,480
III relieve the babysitter.
92
00:06:02,737 --> 00:06:05,604
-What?
-I can relieve the babysitter.
93
00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:09,525
You can tell me later
where else you got kicked out of.
94
00:06:10,161 --> 00:06:13,324
Three is one too few... urn... too many.
95
00:06:14,541 --> 00:06:17,248
But...
96
00:06:19,963 --> 00:06:21,669
III make it up to you.
97
00:06:21,923 --> 00:06:23,413
Please donât.
98
00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:27,501
Donât take it too hard, dude.
99
00:06:27,679 --> 00:06:29,544
Sometimes I get the feeling...
100
00:06:30,557 --> 00:06:32,764
...that life is a sitcom?
101
00:06:32,934 --> 00:06:34,094
A sitcom?
102
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THE KANGAROO
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THREE IS ONE TOO FEW
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U M. TOO MANY
105
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âAnna Karenina.â
106
00:07:00,128 --> 00:07:02,119
Too pretentious.
107
00:07:02,297 --> 00:07:03,878
How about...
108
00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:06,040
The Magic Mountain.
109
00:07:15,393 --> 00:07:17,634
Lying in the hammock again?
110
00:07:17,896 --> 00:07:20,182
Nope. Not again. Still.
111
00:07:23,068 --> 00:07:25,810
You havenât even
gotten out of your pajamas.
112
00:07:25,987 --> 00:07:29,400
Have you noticed some people
seem to have a need
113
00:07:29,574 --> 00:07:31,735
to put the obvious into words?
114
00:07:34,245 --> 00:07:37,737
Which is the better favorite book?
In Search of Lost Time?
115
00:07:37,916 --> 00:07:39,747
Or â100 Years of Solitude?
116
00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:41,957
Have you even read them?
117
00:07:45,382 --> 00:07:49,876
I... Well, I have them on my bookshelf.
That count?
118
00:07:51,388 --> 00:07:53,879
By the way,
Iâm not talking to you anymore.
119
00:07:54,849 --> 00:07:57,261
I admit, I wasnât a big help yesterday,
120
00:07:57,435 --> 00:08:01,394
but I bought all the things you like.
121
00:08:01,564 --> 00:08:03,475
Organic eggplant-pomelo soda
122
00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:05,564
licorice wheels,
123
00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:09,186
chips with coriander,
and champagne truffles.
124
00:08:11,408 --> 00:08:13,399
I donât like any of it.
125
00:08:14,035 --> 00:08:16,151
Not any of it?
126
00:08:17,622 --> 00:08:19,533
I hate coriander.
127
00:08:23,795 --> 00:08:26,582
No way she wants
to go out with me again.
128
00:08:28,717 --> 00:08:32,801
You have to show her
youII lay it on the line for her.
129
00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:35,053
And I know how to do that.
130
00:08:35,223 --> 00:08:37,179
Oh, yeah? How then?
131
00:08:37,809 --> 00:08:40,175
We pull her mom out of the rabbit hole.
132
00:08:57,245 --> 00:08:58,735
A bet?
133
00:08:59,414 --> 00:09:03,282
-What kind of a bet?
-If we straighten your mom out...
134
00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:08,079
-Get her to stop denying climate change.
-...we go out for dinner again.
135
00:09:09,299 --> 00:09:11,005
-Okay.
-In Paris.
136
00:09:11,176 --> 00:09:12,461
In Paris.
137
00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:14,960
-No kangaroo.
-Certainly not.
138
00:09:15,138 --> 00:09:17,345
-And youâll pay.
-Thatâs not...
139
00:09:17,599 --> 00:09:19,339
-You dont have to...
-III pay.
140
00:09:20,101 --> 00:09:23,764
-Okay.
-And you give me your gaming console.
141
00:09:24,022 --> 00:09:27,810
-Thatâs optional, of course.
-Do it, and youâll get the console too.
142
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,103
But, Mom!
143
00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:33,194
Donât worry. Grandmaâs a tough cookie.
Theyâre just wasting their time.
144
00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:36,235
-That wouldnât be new.
-No, it wouldnât.
145
00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:40,027
-And what if you lose?
-Then...
146
00:09:40,705 --> 00:09:43,447
III pay for your dinner.
147
00:09:44,876 --> 00:09:47,242
Nice try, but itâll have to be more.
148
00:09:47,504 --> 00:09:49,210
We dont have anything.
149
00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:54,253
You have a nice big apartment
with an old contract.
150
00:09:55,553 --> 00:09:56,838
You mean...
151
00:09:57,388 --> 00:09:59,925
If you lose, then we trade apartments.
152
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:01,590
Never.
153
00:10:03,561 --> 00:10:05,802
-Agreed.
-Are you crazy? Owl
154
00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:09,393
You said I have to lay it on the line.
155
00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:13,609
Its pretty cramped in here, huh?
156
00:10:16,366 --> 00:10:17,902
Weâve got this.
157
00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:23,157
What have I done?
158
00:10:23,331 --> 00:10:25,447
Youâve ruined our lives.
159
00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:27,581
Thats what youve done.
160
00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:30,494
-Shes cleaning.
-Pinch me.
161
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:33,500
Herta, expecting a special visitor?
162
00:10:33,758 --> 00:10:36,795
Havent you heard? Joe is coming back.
163
00:10:38,847 --> 00:10:40,712
Joe who? Our Joe?
164
00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:43,757
-Mighty Joe, the Steppenwoif?
-Yes, heâs out of prison.
165
00:10:44,602 --> 00:10:47,935
-Does Maria already know?
-No, itâs a surprise.
166
00:10:48,189 --> 00:10:50,054
Who in the hell is Joe?
167
00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:53,600
Mariaâs ex.
168
00:10:53,778 --> 00:10:58,568
Last I saw him, he carried my
washing machine up to the fourth floor.
169
00:10:58,741 --> 00:10:59,901
Alone.
170
00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:04,569
Hey, Maria.
171
00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:06,825
Hey?
172
00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:10,704
My mother just invited me
to an event in Kapenick.
173
00:11:11,588 --> 00:11:13,624
Itâd be a good chance to meet her.
174
00:11:13,798 --> 00:11:15,208
THE CLIMATE CONSIPRACY
175
00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:19,000
Have fun.
176
00:11:20,763 --> 00:11:23,425
Youre really going to go on bikes?
177
00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:25,636
I can lend you our van.
178
00:11:28,229 --> 00:11:32,472
No. We can hardly talk of protecting
the environment and drive up in that.
179
00:11:32,734 --> 00:11:34,645
-Thatâs right.
-Well...
180
00:11:34,903 --> 00:11:37,315
my bike is broken, but...
181
00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:40,230
I can lend you that.
182
00:11:41,075 --> 00:11:43,657
-Itâs Jesus old trailer.
-l call it St. Peter.
183
00:11:46,164 --> 00:11:48,450
-You pedal.
-No.
184
00:11:49,083 --> 00:11:54,703
Weâll decide that in the manner
passed down to us from our ancestors.
185
00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:57,834
So be it.
186
00:11:59,344 --> 00:12:02,256
Hey, bro, five on the kangaroo.
187
00:12:11,522 --> 00:12:13,513
But no well.
188
00:12:13,691 --> 00:12:15,397
No well.
189
00:12:15,944 --> 00:12:18,185
Rock, paper,
190
00:12:18,446 --> 00:12:20,311
scissors.
191
00:12:23,660 --> 00:12:27,528
-He always does paper. Always paperâ
-Why?
192
00:12:27,789 --> 00:12:30,872
Because I always think
the kangaroo will go for the well.
193
00:12:31,668 --> 00:12:32,953
Yallah.
194
00:12:34,003 --> 00:12:36,164
Itâs not a game of chance.
195
00:12:43,137 --> 00:12:44,718
Here you go.
196
00:12:47,308 --> 00:12:49,549
-You shit!
-Thanks!
197
00:12:49,727 --> 00:12:51,137
That was my ice cream!
198
00:12:55,358 --> 00:12:57,519
Come on! Go! Faster!
199
00:12:57,777 --> 00:13:00,234
-Faster! Faster!
-Faster, you lazy dog!
200
00:13:00,488 --> 00:13:02,820
Faster! Faster! Go, faster!
201
00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:10,536
Heyl
202
00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:12,447
Stop therel
203
00:13:13,543 --> 00:13:15,534
Stop!
204
00:13:17,380 --> 00:13:20,338
-Have you ever met Marias mom?
-Nope.
205
00:13:20,508 --> 00:13:23,625
How are we going to know
which of the crazies...
206
00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:25,134
Heyl
207
00:13:29,726 --> 00:13:31,341
An established artist.
208
00:13:32,687 --> 00:13:34,302
Hitler, or who?
209
00:13:35,231 --> 00:13:37,813
Iâm not Hitler.
Iâm the Captain of KOpenick.
210
00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:40,479
Well, you look like Hitler.
211
00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:42,894
You look like Hitler.
212
00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:48,941
Seriously, dude?
213
00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:52,036
Any Reich citizens among you?
214
00:13:52,206 --> 00:13:54,697
Here,
you can take a picture with Hitler.
215
00:14:18,775 --> 00:14:20,356
Help! Help!
216
00:14:23,654 --> 00:14:24,939
Help!
217
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:27,313
Come here!
218
00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:37,703
KOPENICK CITIZENS MEETING
219
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:39,788
IMPENDING ECO-DICTATORSHIP?
220
00:14:39,962 --> 00:14:42,669
We shouldnât take
a confrontational approach.
221
00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:45,582
-Like you did just now?
-Or shell shut down.
222
00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:49,002
-So well use the Socratic method?
-Thatâs right.
223
00:14:49,180 --> 00:14:51,671
Calmly and kindly questioning.
224
00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:57,017
All righty.
225
00:14:59,816 --> 00:15:04,981
Like me, many of you learned of
the climate conspiracy via Adam Krieger.
226
00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:08,487
-Krieger fights for the truth.
-Stay vigilantâ
227
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:11,357
He says the climate scare is a pretense
228
00:15:11,619 --> 00:15:14,031
to raise taxes and pass new laws.
229
00:15:14,288 --> 00:15:16,870
They want to tell us how to live.
230
00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:18,531
WHAT DOES YOUR MOTHER LOOK LIKE?
231
00:15:18,793 --> 00:15:21,751
They want to deindustrialize Germany.
232
00:15:22,004 --> 00:15:24,040
Thatâs right!
233
00:15:24,674 --> 00:15:26,460
-Did you get that?
-Bravo!
234
00:15:29,303 --> 00:15:30,292
Yes?
235
00:15:30,555 --> 00:15:33,012
The desire to be unique,
a loss of control,
236
00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:34,592
or just boredom?
237
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:36,598
-What was it for you?
-What do you mean?
238
00:15:36,853 --> 00:15:40,311
Why you fall for conspiracy theories.
239
00:15:40,565 --> 00:15:44,023
The CIA invented
conspiracy theoryâ as a battle cry
240
00:15:44,193 --> 00:15:47,310
to discredit people
who think differently.
241
00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:50,730
Oh, crapola.
242
00:15:50,992 --> 00:15:53,028
We donât want you here!
243
00:15:53,202 --> 00:15:56,945
-Thatâs right!
-We donât want your eco-fascism!
244
00:15:57,206 --> 00:15:59,413
Youâre the friends of fascism.
245
00:15:59,584 --> 00:16:02,041
-Calmly and kindly questioning?
-Back off.
246
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:05,628
Not even scientists agree
climate change exists.
247
00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:08,505
Hogwash!
Thats just conspiracy bulishit.
248
00:16:08,759 --> 00:16:12,001
A study analyzed
more than 50,000 scientific articles
249
00:16:12,180 --> 00:16:16,389
and 99.94 percent say humans
are the main drivers of climate change.
250
00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:18,758
My experience says otherwise.
251
00:16:19,020 --> 00:16:20,806
What? Your perceived reality?
252
00:16:21,063 --> 00:16:23,395
-Get lost, you sheeple!
-Baa!
253
00:16:23,941 --> 00:16:25,181
Baa to you!
254
00:16:25,443 --> 00:16:28,651
Do you work for fake news?
Or are you paid rabble-rousers?
255
00:16:29,405 --> 00:16:31,862
My dear Ms. Schiabotnik,
256
00:16:32,033 --> 00:16:34,399
I get what you mean, kind of.
257
00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:38,118
Conspiracies are fascinating.
I used to watch The X-Files.
258
00:16:39,123 --> 00:16:42,707
But why do you absolutely have
to think one up?
259
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:44,575
There are enough real conspiracies.
260
00:16:44,754 --> 00:16:48,588
Watergate, Prism, LIBOR, Panama Papers,
Dieselgate, FlEA!
261
00:16:48,758 --> 00:16:53,502
Back in 1982, Exxon Mobile had a study
into climate change conducted
262
00:16:53,763 --> 00:16:58,553
and, sadly, it concluded
that C02 heats up the Earth.
263
00:16:58,726 --> 00:17:01,433
-Tough break.
-But they did nothing.
264
00:17:01,687 --> 00:17:04,554
Except start
a huge disinformation campaign.
265
00:17:04,732 --> 00:17:07,690
Youâre the ones
whoâve fallen prey to a conspiracy.
266
00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:12,024
You are actually
the brainwashed sheeple.
267
00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:16,149
Get lost, you clowns!
268
00:17:16,327 --> 00:17:19,069
Get lost! Get lost! Get lost!
269
00:17:19,330 --> 00:17:22,663
Get lost! Get lost! Get lost! Get lost!
270
00:17:22,917 --> 00:17:24,908
The lady with the eggs.
271
00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:42,592
Yes?
272
00:17:42,770 --> 00:17:45,887
You failed to mention
your mom was the one speaking.
273
00:17:46,691 --> 00:17:48,522
Cops! Sorry.
274
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:51,063
Go ring.
275
00:17:52,822 --> 00:17:55,734
Yes, she even has
her own YouTube channel.
276
00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:57,899
Iân Lisbeth Schiabotnik...
277
00:17:58,077 --> 00:18:00,864
The movers are here! Iâve got to run.
278
00:18:02,540 --> 00:18:07,580
Did you know that 55 mi//ion years ago
the Earth experienced a hot phase?
279
00:18:07,753 --> 00:18:12,042
Now try and tell me my diesel
is responsible for that too.
280
00:18:15,886 --> 00:18:19,925
-Come on, letâs go home.
-You crazy? If we go, we wont have one.
281
00:18:21,142 --> 00:18:23,133
That womanâs a hopeless case.
282
00:18:23,394 --> 00:18:26,386
Rock Paper Scissors?
If I win, we wait for her.
283
00:18:26,564 --> 00:18:30,352
-If you win then...
-...we sleep in a bunk bed from now on.
284
00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:34,603
-Or you get on your knees and beg Maria.
-Forget it. Never.
285
00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:37,317
Lets rock it.
286
00:18:39,910 --> 00:18:41,696
I thought up new rules.
287
00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:43,494
What?
288
00:18:43,748 --> 00:18:46,831
Pick whatever sign we want
and then discuss who won.
289
00:18:47,084 --> 00:18:49,541
-Sounds totally idiotic.
-You in?
290
00:18:50,546 --> 00:18:51,786
Of course.
291
00:18:52,048 --> 00:18:54,255
I call it Rock Paper Whatever.
292
00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:57,750
Rock Paper Whatever.
293
00:18:57,928 --> 00:19:03,093
Sounds like a music magazine
that doesnât give a shit.
294
00:19:04,268 --> 00:19:06,600
Maybe Rock Paper Wizzard?
295
00:19:07,229 --> 00:19:11,814
Sounds like Pen & Paper
from Stranger Things.
296
00:19:13,277 --> 00:19:14,892
Rook Paper Blizzard?
297
00:19:15,946 --> 00:19:17,231
Better.
298
00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:28,785
Rock,
299
00:19:29,043 --> 00:19:30,749
paper,
300
00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:32,868
blizzard!
301
00:19:40,971 --> 00:19:43,553
-Whats that supposed to be?
-Chainsaw. Yours?
302
00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:45,761
I, urn...
303
00:19:46,977 --> 00:19:48,933
A giraffe.
304
00:19:49,105 --> 00:19:51,346
A giraffe versus a chainsaw?
305
00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:54,140
We donât even have to discuss, do we?
306
00:19:55,111 --> 00:19:56,271
No.
307
00:19:58,739 --> 00:20:03,779
If I many ask, what did you expect
to beat with a giraffe?
308
00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:06,194
A leaf that grows high up.
309
00:20:06,372 --> 00:20:09,489
Why in the hell would I do a leaf
that grows high up?
310
00:20:09,667 --> 00:20:11,203
What would that have beat?
311
00:20:11,377 --> 00:20:16,292
Urn... an animal without a long neck.
I was under major time pressure.
312
00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:18,956
Granted,
a giraffe wasnât the best option.
313
00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:23,757
-We got really great footage.
-We can send it to you for YouTube.
314
00:20:23,931 --> 00:20:27,298
-Weâre really big fans of Diesel Liesel.
-Iâm glad.
315
00:20:27,476 --> 00:20:29,842
Come on, this way. Shortcut.
316
00:20:30,104 --> 00:20:31,810
Would you give us an autograph?
317
00:20:31,981 --> 00:20:33,596
Of course.
318
00:20:33,774 --> 00:20:35,264
May I?
319
00:20:37,194 --> 00:20:39,059
Tina and I, we met on
320
00:20:39,321 --> 00:20:41,562
Iovetruth.info.
321
00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:48,820
Every 23 minutes a contrarian
falls in love on lovetruth.info.
322
00:20:48,998 --> 00:20:52,286
Create a profile
and click everything you belleve in.
323
00:20:52,460 --> 00:20:54,576
AREA 51, CHEMTRAILS, REPTILIANS...
324
00:20:54,837 --> 00:20:56,953
Only the two of us
clicked every conspiracy.
325
00:20:58,591 --> 00:20:59,671
Chemtrails!
326
00:21:01,177 --> 00:21:03,133
You are not a/one.
327
00:21:03,387 --> 00:21:05,924
Find someone
who loves the truth as much as you.
328
00:21:07,892 --> 00:21:10,304
I met my Eva here too.
329
00:21:11,145 --> 00:21:15,104
Im Adam Krieger
and I recommend Iovetruth.info.
330
00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:17,560
Dont let them shut you up.
331
00:21:17,735 --> 00:21:19,316
Stay vigilant.
332
00:21:19,487 --> 00:21:21,398
What do you think of chemtrails?
333
00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:23,566
What?
334
00:21:23,741 --> 00:21:26,904
The condensed vapor trails
behind planes
335
00:21:27,077 --> 00:21:28,863
that are actually harmful chemicals.
336
00:21:29,038 --> 00:21:32,496
-Never heard of them.
-They reduce the fertility of Germans.
337
00:21:32,666 --> 00:21:35,248
And/or contaminate soil
with aluminum compounds.
338
00:21:35,419 --> 00:21:39,708
-Theyre for population control.
-And/or thought control via nanobots.
339
00:21:39,882 --> 00:21:42,749
Those who believe
in nanobot mind control
340
00:21:43,010 --> 00:21:45,217
should probably see it as a chance.
341
00:21:45,930 --> 00:21:48,842
-What do you clowns want now?
-Piss off.
342
00:21:49,475 --> 00:21:53,013
Around the corner there,
I saw Adam Krieger.
343
00:21:53,187 --> 00:21:54,802
Yes, I think it was him.
344
00:21:55,064 --> 00:21:57,771
He just found the entrance
to the Hollow Earth.
345
00:21:58,025 --> 00:21:59,060
What?
346
00:21:59,235 --> 00:22:02,272
See you at the CoCon,
and/or someplace else.
347
00:22:04,907 --> 00:22:08,775
Ms. Schiabotnik, we had a rough start.
Can we start over?
348
00:22:09,036 --> 00:22:10,776
No.
349
00:22:10,955 --> 00:22:12,741
Were friends of Marias.
350
00:22:14,875 --> 00:22:17,457
-Are you her new fella?
-I... Well...
351
00:22:19,213 --> 00:22:20,293
Sad.
352
00:22:21,090 --> 00:22:23,376
Oh well,
no one can hold a candle to Joe.
353
00:22:24,885 --> 00:22:27,001
What if we invited you to eat?
354
00:22:28,055 --> 00:22:30,296
And as a peace offering:
355
00:22:30,474 --> 00:22:32,681
the categorical aperitif.
356
00:22:34,270 --> 00:22:35,976
Chop-chop, let it drop!
357
00:22:40,943 --> 00:22:42,479
CATEGORICAL APERITIF
358
00:22:42,653 --> 00:22:45,019
III have 13 and 72, please.
359
00:22:45,281 --> 00:22:47,522
-You didnât even look.
-I pick at random.
360
00:22:47,700 --> 00:22:50,487
-Keeps life exciting.
-Iâll have the same.
361
00:22:50,744 --> 00:22:52,655
And III take...
362
00:22:52,913 --> 00:22:55,780
12 and 61, but without Koreans...
363
00:22:55,958 --> 00:22:58,119
I mean coriander.
364
00:22:59,003 --> 00:23:00,868
Nothing here is Korean.
365
00:23:01,130 --> 00:23:03,587
-Coriander, please.
-Weâre Chinese.
366
00:23:04,717 --> 00:23:06,503
Oh, God. How embarrassing.
367
00:23:06,677 --> 00:23:08,884
A very interesting Freudian slip.
368
00:23:09,138 --> 00:23:10,924
-Oh, yeah?
-Yes.
369
00:23:11,181 --> 00:23:13,763
You Germans want
the perks of multiculturalism,
370
00:23:13,934 --> 00:23:17,722
the services immigrants provide,
but not the immigrants.
371
00:23:17,897 --> 00:23:20,684
You actually do want 61 without Koreans.
372
00:23:20,941 --> 00:23:25,275
-Donât exaggerate.
-âThe deindustrialization of Germany?
373
00:23:25,529 --> 00:23:26,735
-Really?
-YouII see.
374
00:23:26,989 --> 00:23:28,980
Why doesnt the press report on that?
375
00:23:29,241 --> 00:23:32,529
-All bought up.
-And us, or Maria? Were we bought up?
376
00:23:32,703 --> 00:23:35,069
You eat up
what the lying press feeds you.
377
00:23:35,331 --> 00:23:39,290
You reject every argument
that doesnt suit you.
378
00:23:39,460 --> 00:23:40,950
Everyone does that.
379
00:23:41,128 --> 00:23:43,369
Im a conspirator
if I disagree with you?
380
00:23:43,631 --> 00:23:45,041
Or a puppet.
381
00:23:45,299 --> 00:23:48,166
Youâre puppets
whove stopped questioning things.
382
00:23:48,344 --> 00:23:50,335
You believe what âTime writes.
383
00:23:50,596 --> 00:23:53,133
And you believe your Facebook timeline.
384
00:23:55,225 --> 00:23:57,341
The way you defend
your climate lie claims
385
00:23:57,519 --> 00:23:59,055
can be used to defend any old rot.
386
00:23:59,563 --> 00:24:02,726
-With exactly the same phrases.
-Not true.
387
00:24:02,983 --> 00:24:05,395
Okay, think of a totally crazy theory
388
00:24:05,653 --> 00:24:08,690
thatâs so out there
not even you believe it.
389
00:24:09,490 --> 00:24:10,980
All right.
390
00:24:13,869 --> 00:24:15,905
Earth is a cube.
391
00:24:17,247 --> 00:24:20,489
-A cube-Earth theory.
-Fine.
392
00:24:20,668 --> 00:24:22,659
The Earth is obviously cubed.
393
00:24:22,836 --> 00:24:25,293
Why else do all maps have four corners?
394
00:24:25,464 --> 00:24:28,171
-Why isnt that in the press?
-All bought up.
395
00:24:28,425 --> 00:24:29,915
Am I bought up too?
396
00:24:30,177 --> 00:24:33,169
You eat up
what the lying press feeds you.
397
00:24:33,430 --> 00:24:38,720
How else do you explain big waterfalls?
Theyre all on the Earths edges.
398
00:24:38,978 --> 00:24:40,969
Why does it look round from space?
399
00:24:41,230 --> 00:24:42,936
Because...
400
00:24:43,107 --> 00:24:47,567
the CIA forces
every single astronaut to use
401
00:24:47,820 --> 00:24:49,651
a special wide-angle lens.
402
00:24:49,822 --> 00:24:53,314
Hundreds of thousands of people
vanish every year. Where to?
403
00:24:53,575 --> 00:24:56,487
They get âoffed.
404
00:24:56,745 --> 00:24:59,407
-Will I fall off if I walk over an edge?
-Not quite.
405
00:24:59,581 --> 00:25:03,995
Theyâre usually slightly rounded,
so theyâre not that easy to see.
406
00:25:04,169 --> 00:25:09,459
But 99.94 percent of scientific journals
say the world is round.
407
00:25:09,633 --> 00:25:11,794
My experience says otherwise.
408
00:25:12,052 --> 00:25:16,216
See? Does that type
of argumentation sound familiar?
409
00:25:16,473 --> 00:25:19,840
My sports teacher wouldâve said,
âYou catch that?â
410
00:25:21,478 --> 00:25:24,185
Iâm not going to be screwed with
like this.
411
00:25:28,527 --> 00:25:30,017
Wackos.
412
00:25:30,696 --> 00:25:32,903
There goes my gaming console.
413
00:25:38,412 --> 00:25:41,404
Did you hear that? Earth is a cube.
414
00:25:41,582 --> 00:25:42,662
Yeah.
415
00:25:42,833 --> 00:25:45,165
And I thought it was flat.
416
00:25:56,764 --> 00:25:59,597
Wed like to take the bike on the bus.
417
00:26:00,476 --> 00:26:02,341
How do imagine that working?
418
00:26:02,603 --> 00:26:05,310
Well, Iâd just carry it
through the door.
419
00:26:08,067 --> 00:26:10,023
-This is a bus.
-True.
420
00:26:10,194 --> 00:26:14,733
-Right.
-But it is a rail replacement service.
421
00:26:14,907 --> 00:26:17,899
Therefore, this is not a bus,
itâs a city train.
422
00:26:19,870 --> 00:26:23,454
Are you shitting me?
Of course, this is a bus.
423
00:26:23,707 --> 00:26:26,699
No one is going to tell me
this isnt a bus.
424
00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:28,916
Its a bus all right.
425
00:26:29,171 --> 00:26:31,287
lye driven bus my entire life.
426
00:26:31,548 --> 00:26:34,039
I can tell a bus when I see one.
427
00:26:34,551 --> 00:26:38,009
And I can take my bike with me
on a city train.
428
00:26:42,267 --> 00:26:44,053
But not in the first car.
429
00:26:45,521 --> 00:26:48,684
All right, then Iâll just ride it.
430
00:26:58,992 --> 00:27:02,029
-Hold this a sec.
-Now chop-chop!
431
00:27:08,043 --> 00:27:11,956
The other passengers dont have
time to waste either.
432
00:27:16,385 --> 00:27:19,548
No ones going to tell me
this isnt a bus!
433
00:27:20,180 --> 00:27:22,011
Itâs a bus all right!
434
00:27:22,266 --> 00:27:25,508
I can tell whatâs a bus and whatâs not.
435
00:27:28,522 --> 00:27:30,478
Hey, what the hell, man?
436
00:27:32,109 --> 00:27:34,851
He doesnât quite understand his job.
437
00:27:35,028 --> 00:27:37,019
We can make him stop.
438
00:27:48,542 --> 00:27:50,874
Someone better get off here.
439
00:27:53,380 --> 00:27:55,086
Who was that?
440
00:27:58,218 --> 00:28:01,176
Either one of you gets out
or both of you do.
441
00:28:04,766 --> 00:28:08,258
-Rock Paper Blizzard?
-Do I have to come back there?
442
00:28:09,980 --> 00:28:12,437
-Rock...
-I was going to call the fire service.
443
00:28:12,608 --> 00:28:16,601
But then Joe clambered up the tree
and saved the cat.
444
00:28:16,862 --> 00:28:19,569
Then thereâs the story with the pig.
445
00:28:19,823 --> 00:28:21,529
Joe took a pig to work,
446
00:28:21,700 --> 00:28:24,191
and his boss goes,
âWhatâs the pig doing here?â
447
00:28:24,369 --> 00:28:28,157
Joe says, âHow should I know
why you came in today?â
448
00:28:29,208 --> 00:28:32,951
-Unbelievable he was in prison so long.
-Talking about Joe again?
449
00:28:33,128 --> 00:28:34,743
Still.
450
00:28:34,922 --> 00:28:36,958
Oh, if I were a bit younger...
451
00:28:50,604 --> 00:28:51,935
Joe.
452
00:28:52,189 --> 00:28:54,305
People, nice to see you!
453
00:28:54,566 --> 00:28:56,602
Come closer, settle in
454
00:28:56,860 --> 00:28:59,146
Hands on your head, and then spin
455
00:28:59,321 --> 00:29:01,186
Unscrew and remove your brain
456
00:29:01,448 --> 00:29:03,860
Get crazy, people, champagne and treats
457
00:29:04,034 --> 00:29:08,118
Letâs outwit logic to the beat
Throw confetti and walk on tables
458
00:29:08,372 --> 00:29:10,363
And eat our brains with fishes
459
00:29:10,624 --> 00:29:13,366
/ mean, logic is sick overrated
460
00:29:13,627 --> 00:29:16,869
-l say, âOne plus one plus one is six!â
-Thatâs wrong!
461
00:29:17,589 --> 00:29:19,955
They finally let you out, you rascal!
462
00:29:25,472 --> 00:29:26,461
Well?
463
00:29:27,724 --> 00:29:31,262
Why you slimy,
double-crossing, no-good swindler.
464
00:29:33,605 --> 00:29:36,096
Youâve got a lot of guts coming here
465
00:29:36,275 --> 00:29:38,891
after all the crap you pulled.
466
00:30:06,346 --> 00:30:08,632
Listen up, next roundâs on me!
467
00:30:08,807 --> 00:30:12,015
Breathe in, breathe out
Toniqht we let it all hang out
468
00:30:12,269 --> 00:30:14,476
Tonight weâre storming your front lots
469
00:30:14,646 --> 00:30:16,807
Gonna digâem up
With diqgers and what-not
470
00:30:59,441 --> 00:31:02,183
you have shrimp in your beard.
And Joe said...
471
00:31:02,361 --> 00:31:06,980
-Youve got jellyfish on your pants.
-Youve got jellyfish on your pantsl
472
00:31:08,241 --> 00:31:10,072
-To Joe!
-Cheers.
473
00:31:10,243 --> 00:31:13,280
-Youâre a swell guy.
-Yeah, a real swell guy.
474
00:31:13,455 --> 00:31:17,198
Gets arrested and leaves
his wife and kid in the lurch.
475
00:31:22,672 --> 00:31:23,832
What?
476
00:31:24,091 --> 00:31:26,548
He was in prison
for fighting for human rights.
477
00:31:26,802 --> 00:31:29,509
Are you attacking him
for working for Amnesty?
478
00:31:29,679 --> 00:31:34,218
He tried to help North Korean dissidents
across the demilitarized zone.
479
00:31:35,060 --> 00:31:36,425
Of course.
480
00:31:36,603 --> 00:31:38,059
North Korea.
481
00:31:38,605 --> 00:31:41,597
And I drilled wells in Africa.
482
00:31:43,819 --> 00:31:48,688
Were you as tall as you are stupid, you
could drink out of the eaves kneeling.
483
00:31:52,035 --> 00:31:53,195
You...
484
00:31:53,370 --> 00:31:55,201
really were in North Korea?
485
00:31:55,455 --> 00:31:56,865
Bling.
486
00:32:25,193 --> 00:32:26,729
Go.
487
00:32:26,903 --> 00:32:28,268
Youre free.
488
00:32:39,207 --> 00:32:42,074
Its all right. You couldnt have known.
489
00:32:43,795 --> 00:32:45,956
Know what they say in Korea?
490
00:32:46,131 --> 00:32:49,339
Even monkeys fall from trees.
491
00:32:52,929 --> 00:32:54,465
Here, look.
492
00:32:57,434 --> 00:32:59,220
I carved this in prison.
493
00:32:59,853 --> 00:33:01,684
From a wooden spoon.
494
00:33:01,855 --> 00:33:03,311
For Maria?
495
00:33:03,482 --> 00:33:06,724
Thinking of her was what kept me alive.
496
00:33:06,902 --> 00:33:09,314
But I donât want to overwhelm her.
497
00:33:09,488 --> 00:33:11,945
No... I wouldnât do that either.
498
00:33:12,115 --> 00:33:16,654
She didnât want me to go to Pyongyang.
She might still be mad at me.
499
00:33:16,828 --> 00:33:19,365
Shes very mad, extremely mad.
500
00:33:19,539 --> 00:33:22,121
-Maybe I should give it more time.
-Much more.
501
00:33:22,292 --> 00:33:24,704
I dont want it to be slapdash.
502
00:33:24,878 --> 00:33:28,120
-Whatever that means.
-Thats how you end up with kids.
503
00:33:29,508 --> 00:33:31,624
Iâll ask her on her birthday.
504
00:33:34,262 --> 00:33:36,048
WESTERNERS
505
00:33:36,223 --> 00:33:37,804
EASTERNERS
506
00:33:39,434 --> 00:33:41,675
-Watch where you...
-Times running out.
507
00:33:41,853 --> 00:33:44,970
-What? Time?
-Is our bet still on?
508
00:33:45,232 --> 00:33:47,848
Yes, Iâve got the moving boxes ready.
509
00:33:48,109 --> 00:33:49,770
Were Liesels best friends.
510
00:33:49,945 --> 00:33:53,813
-Easy. She has no others.
-We visit her in Backwood tomorrow.
511
00:33:53,990 --> 00:33:56,106
Hey, Iâve got to get back to the hotel.
512
00:33:56,284 --> 00:33:58,491
Iâve got to call Greta.
513
00:33:58,662 --> 00:34:01,369
Why to the hotel?
Joe can sleep at our place.
514
00:34:01,623 --> 00:34:05,741
But where?
I mean, in the hall we can maybe just...
515
00:34:06,503 --> 00:34:09,586
Oh, no. I donât want
to impose on anyone.
516
00:34:11,132 --> 00:34:15,466
-Joe can sleep at our place.
-Yes! Our place can sleep at Joeâs.
517
00:34:16,137 --> 00:34:17,627
No harm done.
518
00:34:20,934 --> 00:34:23,266
The little nose goes
on the pancake face.
519
00:34:23,520 --> 00:34:25,761
Put some powdered sugar on it...
520
00:34:30,110 --> 00:34:32,271
Howdy, doody, partner!
521
00:34:32,988 --> 00:34:34,273
Good morning.
522
00:34:34,531 --> 00:34:38,570
I woke up early and so I decided
to clean the kitchen.
523
00:34:38,743 --> 00:34:41,985
Made some breakfast too.
Hope I didnât wake you.
524
00:34:45,125 --> 00:34:47,741
Do you need anything?
Got everything you need?
525
00:34:55,719 --> 00:34:56,925
Fuck.
526
00:35:04,102 --> 00:35:05,592
Ah, there we go.
527
00:35:08,982 --> 00:35:10,973
Dig in and enjoy.
528
00:35:13,236 --> 00:35:16,023
Iâm going to the hardware store.
Need anything?
529
00:35:16,281 --> 00:35:18,272
-Never from the hardware store.
-Okay.
530
00:35:18,533 --> 00:35:20,489
A pool table.
531
00:35:20,660 --> 00:35:21,900
Cool. Bye.
532
00:35:22,162 --> 00:35:23,823
Bye. Bye.
533
00:35:32,505 --> 00:35:34,086
Off to Backwood.
534
00:35:35,884 --> 00:35:40,344
Dear passengers,
for reasons not entirely clear to me
535
00:35:40,513 --> 00:35:44,847
the train for platform 21
is arriving at plafform 22
536
00:35:45,018 --> 00:35:46,724
and v/ce versa.
537
00:35:50,565 --> 00:35:52,305
/ was just joking.
538
00:35:52,942 --> 00:35:55,558
-Heâs a real jokester.
- Seriously!
539
00:35:55,737 --> 00:36:00,197
Due to a personal injury,
today is topsy-turvy day
540
00:36:00,367 --> 00:36:03,279
so just get on a train
and see where you end up.
541
00:36:03,453 --> 00:36:06,115
Whats going on here? Terrorist attack?
542
00:36:06,373 --> 00:36:08,659
What is your major malfunction?
543
00:36:08,833 --> 00:36:12,166
Stand at attention
when an... officer is present.
544
00:36:13,046 --> 00:36:14,661
Yes, sir.
545
00:36:15,882 --> 00:36:17,338
Yes...
546
00:36:17,592 --> 00:36:18,798
sir...
547
00:36:19,886 --> 00:36:21,126
Captain.
548
00:36:21,680 --> 00:36:23,966
-Yes, sir, Captain.
-Name?
549
00:36:24,224 --> 00:36:25,213
Krapotke.
550
00:36:26,518 --> 00:36:28,804
Krapotke, Captain.
551
00:36:29,062 --> 00:36:30,177
Krapotke, Captain.
552
00:36:30,980 --> 00:36:32,390
What is it, Krapotke?
553
00:36:32,899 --> 00:36:36,892
-Terrorist attack, Captain?
-Speak in complete sentences!
554
00:36:37,070 --> 00:36:39,402
Terrorist attack. How about a verb?
555
00:36:42,659 --> 00:36:45,071
Was here a terrorist attack, Captain?
556
00:36:46,621 --> 00:36:48,486
Was, Krapotke.
557
00:36:48,665 --> 00:36:50,155
Yes, was.
558
00:36:50,333 --> 00:36:53,871
It was a so-called âsuicide bomber,â
559
00:36:54,129 --> 00:36:56,245
someone who blew my nerves to bits.
560
00:36:56,423 --> 00:36:58,584
These world-weary types, Krapotke.
561
00:36:58,758 --> 00:37:00,840
They could jump
off the Reichstag screaming,
562
00:37:01,010 --> 00:37:03,752
The system is rotten!
But no.
563
00:37:04,013 --> 00:37:06,095
-It must be a train.
-Wrong, Krapotke.
564
00:37:06,349 --> 00:37:08,886
Not a train, my train.
565
00:37:09,060 --> 00:37:11,301
Where is it youâre going, Krapotke?
566
00:37:11,521 --> 00:37:13,682
-A conference.
-Complete sentences!
567
00:37:13,857 --> 00:37:16,519
-Iâm going to a conference!
-What conference?
568
00:37:17,068 --> 00:37:20,356
In Wannsee, Captain,
on the future of the army.
569
00:37:20,530 --> 00:37:24,114
Holding a military conference
in Wannsee is insensitive,
570
00:37:24,284 --> 00:37:26,195
donât you agree, Krapotke?
571
00:37:30,290 --> 00:37:32,076
Because of the tourists?
572
00:37:36,463 --> 00:37:38,044
Forgetting history.
573
00:37:38,298 --> 00:37:40,209
But if we hadnt forgotten history
574
00:37:40,467 --> 00:37:44,380
who of us would still be wearing
a uniform today, Krapotke?
575
00:37:45,054 --> 00:37:49,388
I thought the captain was traveling
to the conference too.
576
00:37:49,642 --> 00:37:51,724
You, Krapotke, arenât to think.
577
00:37:51,895 --> 00:37:56,355
Come along instead. The conference
has been moved to Backwood.
578
00:37:56,524 --> 00:37:59,015
-Backwood? But...
-Get in!
579
00:37:59,277 --> 00:38:01,017
Yes, Captain!
580
00:38:02,530 --> 00:38:06,569
-Whats the point of this?
-lye got a feeling he could be useful.
581
00:38:06,743 --> 00:38:10,235
-A feeling? From where?
-l read the script.
582
00:38:10,413 --> 00:38:12,654
TRUTH, FACTS, STAY VIGILANT
583
00:38:16,628 --> 00:38:19,791
You know âhuman-inducedâ global warming
584
00:38:20,048 --> 00:38:21,754
is a huge con.
585
00:38:21,925 --> 00:38:25,133
Lisbeth Schiabotnik tells it straight.
Listen.
586
00:38:25,303 --> 00:38:28,261
There was a hot period
in the Paleocene too.
587
00:38:28,431 --> 00:38:32,674
Now try and tell me my diesel
is responsible for that too.
588
00:38:32,936 --> 00:38:35,018
But they donât want us to hear that.
589
00:38:35,271 --> 00:38:40,391
Only yesterday one of Lisbeths events
was interrupted by paid rabble-rousers.
590
00:38:40,652 --> 00:38:44,520
Luckily reporters from
White Russian Today filmed everything.
591
00:38:44,781 --> 00:38:47,318
Not even scientists agree
climate change exists.
592
00:38:47,492 --> 00:38:49,608
Thatâs just conspiracy bullshit.
593
00:38:49,869 --> 00:38:53,487
Thatâs the level at which
our opponents argue.
594
00:38:53,665 --> 00:38:58,079
But could it
potentially, possibly, perhaps,
595
00:38:58,253 --> 00:39:01,666
be that this kangaroo is paid
to say such things?
596
00:39:02,340 --> 00:39:04,376
Whoâs stuffing dollars in his pouch?
597
00:39:04,551 --> 00:39:07,167
Merkel? Soros? Gore? Gates?
598
00:39:07,428 --> 00:39:09,669
Contact me if you have leads.
599
00:39:10,390 --> 00:39:12,506
Weâll get to the bottom of it by CoCon.
600
00:39:12,684 --> 00:39:17,929
Apropos, the Conspiracy Convention is
the worldâs largest annual convention
601
00:39:18,106 --> 00:39:20,848
for contrarians and soldiers of truth.
602
00:39:21,109 --> 00:39:24,601
And this year,
CoCon is taking place in Bielefeld.
603
00:39:25,113 --> 00:39:28,571
That caused some rifts within the scene.
604
00:39:29,742 --> 00:39:32,233
Even Kriegerâs lying. CoCon is fake.
605
00:39:32,412 --> 00:39:38,373
What is Bielefeld if not a city built
to keep secret that it doesnât exist?
606
00:39:38,543 --> 00:39:40,955
What is II actually about? Zombies!
607
00:39:41,129 --> 00:39:42,118
Zombies.
608
00:39:44,299 --> 00:39:48,759
The Bielefeld conspiracy is a hoax.
Donât fall for such nonsense.
609
00:39:49,012 --> 00:39:51,469
You can get CoCon tickets on my webshop.
610
00:39:51,639 --> 00:39:54,802
See you at CoCon. Stay vigilant.
611
00:39:54,976 --> 00:39:56,841
Every industry has a fair.
612
00:39:57,020 --> 00:39:59,181
Yeah, even bulishit manufacturing.
613
00:39:59,355 --> 00:40:01,095
Nuts, Captain?
614
00:40:04,027 --> 00:40:06,609
And whereâs the coffee, Krapotke?
615
00:40:06,779 --> 00:40:08,360
Yes, coffee.
616
00:40:09,949 --> 00:40:13,237
-Adam Krieger. Thatâs not a real name.
-No.
617
00:40:14,245 --> 00:40:17,282
Did you know his real names S. Martazz?
618
00:40:17,457 --> 00:40:19,539
-Really?
-You didnât know?
619
00:40:19,792 --> 00:40:23,330
He was left-wing. He used to write
for Workers Struggle.
620
00:40:23,588 --> 00:40:26,921
Then he jumped
into the rabbit hole headfirst.
621
00:40:43,566 --> 00:40:45,898
Silver Lake! Silver Lake!
622
00:40:46,069 --> 00:40:49,402
Passengers to Backwood, change here.
623
00:40:56,204 --> 00:40:57,990
Please stand clear.
624
00:41:07,799 --> 00:41:09,130
Excuse me.
625
00:41:10,718 --> 00:41:12,879
I dont work here anymore.
626
00:41:14,138 --> 00:41:18,131
Might you still know when
the next train to Backwood is coming?
627
00:41:18,393 --> 00:41:20,008
Stop that!
628
00:41:21,396 --> 00:41:23,682
To Backwood?
629
00:41:25,942 --> 00:41:28,809
Trains havent gone there
in a long time.
630
00:41:28,987 --> 00:41:32,696
That line wasnt economically viable.
You understand.
631
00:41:33,408 --> 00:41:35,990
But go over to platform two.
632
00:41:36,828 --> 00:41:40,616
If youre lucky,
the draisine is available.
633
00:41:53,928 --> 00:41:56,840
VEHICLE PROVIDED BY
SOUTHEAST BRANDENBURG STRUCTURAL FUND
634
00:41:59,934 --> 00:42:01,890
He wasnt joking.
635
00:42:02,437 --> 00:42:04,678
Yeah, then get going Krapotke.
636
00:42:05,815 --> 00:42:06,804
Yes, Captain.
637
00:42:42,435 --> 00:42:45,802
Now youâre happy
we brought him along, eh?
638
00:42:45,980 --> 00:42:47,470
Faster, Krapotke!
639
00:42:47,648 --> 00:42:49,138
Yes, Captain!
640
00:43:03,498 --> 00:43:05,705
Krapotke! Krapotke!
641
00:43:06,250 --> 00:43:09,208
-Stop pumping!
-No! Keep going, Krapotke!
642
00:43:09,378 --> 00:43:12,336
-Itâll all be fine!
-Yes, Captain.
643
00:43:22,016 --> 00:43:23,552
Krapotke!
644
00:43:46,916 --> 00:43:48,656
Everything okay?
645
00:43:48,835 --> 00:43:53,579
The question alone gets my dander up.
Obviously, nothing is okay.
646
00:43:54,298 --> 00:43:57,210
-Did you have a nightmare?
-You bet I did.
647
00:43:57,385 --> 00:44:00,297
It probably swallowed up
half our budget.
648
00:44:07,854 --> 00:44:09,560
BACKWOOD
649
00:44:12,316 --> 00:44:13,931
Well done, Krapotke.
650
00:44:14,193 --> 00:44:15,683
Thanks, Captain.
651
00:44:15,862 --> 00:44:19,480
-What do we do now?
-Youâre going to do a few pushups.
652
00:44:21,409 --> 00:44:24,526
-How many, Captain?
-Until I say itâs enough.
653
00:44:24,787 --> 00:44:26,493
Yes, Captain.
654
00:44:29,417 --> 00:44:30,873
One,
655
00:44:31,043 --> 00:44:32,408
two,
656
00:44:32,587 --> 00:44:34,418
three, five...
657
00:44:38,176 --> 00:44:39,336
Look.
658
00:44:45,016 --> 00:44:46,927
Ms. Schiabotnik?
659
00:44:47,768 --> 00:44:49,383
Liesel
660
00:44:50,688 --> 00:44:52,394
You guys again!
661
00:44:52,565 --> 00:44:53,930
Yes, uh...
662
00:44:54,192 --> 00:44:55,978
Ms. Schiabotnik,
663
00:44:56,152 --> 00:44:59,019
Iâll make you an offer
that you can accept,
664
00:44:59,197 --> 00:45:00,778
or not.
665
00:45:01,824 --> 00:45:03,439
We talk again,
666
00:45:04,577 --> 00:45:07,660
and if you can convince us
of your theory,
667
00:45:07,914 --> 00:45:10,030
then well convince Maria.
668
00:45:10,208 --> 00:45:13,291
-Deal?
-Well, I donât have much time.
669
00:45:14,503 --> 00:45:19,167
Iâm already on my way to CoCon.
Iâm speaking just before Adam Krieger.
670
00:45:19,342 --> 00:45:20,582
Oh, yeah?
671
00:45:20,760 --> 00:45:22,921
Yes. It wasnât cheap.
672
00:45:25,640 --> 00:45:27,255
Then in you get.
673
00:45:27,516 --> 00:45:30,223
DIESEL LIESELS DRIVING SCHOOL
674
00:45:36,943 --> 00:45:39,184
WITH LOVE, YOUR JOE
675
00:46:04,095 --> 00:46:08,338
From Joeâs abstract phase.
Iâve had plenty of offers for it.
676
00:46:10,309 --> 00:46:11,389
Why not?
677
00:46:12,353 --> 00:46:15,845
Right, so whatâs your issue
with climate protection?
678
00:46:16,732 --> 00:46:19,223
Even if in 50 years we were to realize
679
00:46:19,402 --> 00:46:25,022
that every scientist royally screwed up
and global warming doesnât exist,
680
00:46:25,199 --> 00:46:26,780
then what?
681
00:46:26,951 --> 00:46:30,990
For no reason at all, weâd have ensured
our cities have clean air,
682
00:46:31,163 --> 00:46:34,576
rivers arenât toxic,
cars are quiet and donât stink,
683
00:46:34,834 --> 00:46:38,292
and we no longer depend on dictators
and their oil reserves.
684
00:46:38,462 --> 00:46:40,453
That would suck.
685
00:46:41,048 --> 00:46:42,709
What are you afraid of?
686
00:46:42,967 --> 00:46:45,333
Not the deindustrialization of Germany.
687
00:46:46,012 --> 00:46:48,970
-Whod want that?
-Thatâs the question.
688
00:46:49,223 --> 00:46:53,512
Itâs the question Caesar asked.
Cuibono? Who profits?
689
00:46:53,769 --> 00:46:56,806
I donât think that came from Caesar.
690
00:46:56,981 --> 00:47:00,348
Funny idea, falsely attributing quotes.
691
00:47:00,526 --> 00:47:04,485
The state profits.
Itâs a reason to raise taxes.
692
00:47:04,739 --> 00:47:08,903
âI came, I saw, I conquered.â
Hillary Clinton.
693
00:47:10,328 --> 00:47:12,284
âAsk not what
your country can do for you,
694
00:47:12,455 --> 00:47:14,741
but what you can do for your country.â
695
00:47:14,915 --> 00:47:16,701
Kim Jong-un.
696
00:47:18,336 --> 00:47:19,872
lye got one too.
697
00:47:20,046 --> 00:47:22,833
I have a simple recipe to keep fit.
698
00:47:23,007 --> 00:47:24,793
I go on killing spree every day.
699
00:47:27,595 --> 00:47:29,051
From whom?
700
00:47:29,305 --> 00:47:30,636
Attila Hildmann.
701
00:47:34,393 --> 00:47:36,179
Well, lye got to run.
702
00:47:36,437 --> 00:47:37,927
To CoCon.
703
00:47:39,023 --> 00:47:41,184
-Were coming along.
-Really?
704
00:47:41,359 --> 00:47:43,645
Its a free country. For now.
705
00:47:43,819 --> 00:47:47,152
-My flight leaves in two hours.
-Youre flying to Bielefeld?
706
00:47:47,323 --> 00:47:50,030
Im flying to Frankfurt
and renting a car.
707
00:47:50,201 --> 00:47:52,237
I fly out of principle.
708
00:47:55,081 --> 00:47:58,824
Well-recognized scientists
are battling the climate lie.
709
00:47:59,001 --> 00:48:01,663
You know atmospheric physicist
Fred Singer?
710
00:48:01,921 --> 00:48:03,127
Fred Singer?
711
00:48:03,297 --> 00:48:05,788
He not only denied the climate crisis,
712
00:48:05,966 --> 00:48:09,709
he denied acid rain,
that the hole in the ozone exists,
713
00:48:09,970 --> 00:48:11,676
and that smoking causes cancer.
714
00:48:11,847 --> 00:48:13,883
Very credible guy.
715
00:48:14,058 --> 00:48:19,303
What nerve. I had to pay
a ten-euro baggage fee for my pouch.
716
00:48:20,981 --> 00:48:23,597
-Have you seen my phone?
-No.
717
00:48:24,318 --> 00:48:27,526
We do random,
non-suspicion-based full-scale checks.
718
00:48:28,030 --> 00:48:31,864
And youâre randomly,
non-suspicion-based checking me
719
00:48:32,034 --> 00:48:35,242
because I donât look
so unsuspiciously Caucasian?
720
00:48:36,747 --> 00:48:38,783
Empty your pouch, please.
721
00:48:47,633 --> 00:48:49,840
Reunions are a joy.
722
00:48:50,761 --> 00:48:52,752
I need all of this back.
723
00:48:55,599 --> 00:48:57,635
Ah, look. My phone.
724
00:48:57,893 --> 00:49:00,760
Mine and yours are bourgeois categories.
725
00:49:04,108 --> 00:49:06,224
Please put the pouch on the belt.
726
00:49:06,485 --> 00:49:09,272
-I canât do that, dude.
-Pouch on the belt.
727
00:49:09,530 --> 00:49:11,316
Dude, its part of me.
728
00:49:11,574 --> 00:49:14,987
The pouch has to go on the belt!
729
00:49:16,370 --> 00:49:19,328
Por favor el pucho on el belto.
730
00:49:23,919 --> 00:49:25,955
Part of me! Cant do it!
731
00:49:26,213 --> 00:49:28,374
The pouch has to go on the belt.
732
00:49:28,549 --> 00:49:30,414
Those are the rules.
733
00:49:31,093 --> 00:49:33,459
This is degrading!
734
00:49:35,222 --> 00:49:38,259
Last call for Penguin Air 4773
735
00:49:38,517 --> 00:49:40,303
to Frankfurt.
736
00:49:40,561 --> 00:49:42,677
Proceed to gate 17 immediately.
737
00:49:42,855 --> 00:49:44,391
I cant make out a thing.
738
00:49:45,649 --> 00:49:48,106
-Weâve got to go again.
-You have el cub in el aire.
739
00:49:48,277 --> 00:49:51,565
-And turn the pouch upside down.
-Are they with you?
740
00:49:52,406 --> 00:49:53,862
No.
741
00:49:54,116 --> 00:49:56,903
Excuse me. Can I go through now?
742
00:49:57,828 --> 00:50:00,991
Jacket off, sweater down, belt open,
shoes and hat off.
743
00:50:01,582 --> 00:50:02,913
Which...
744
00:50:13,844 --> 00:50:16,210
So what do you think, doctor?
745
00:50:17,056 --> 00:50:19,263
Is it serious?
746
00:50:19,934 --> 00:50:23,722
Is this okay?
Or should I shave off the hair?
747
00:50:26,815 --> 00:50:29,682
Oh, I cant believe it. Them again.
748
00:50:29,944 --> 00:50:33,778
Iâll run through the charges,
destruction of a scanning machine,
749
00:50:34,031 --> 00:50:38,274
or rather, one moment...
an X-ray luggage scanner.
750
00:50:38,536 --> 00:50:41,448
-I got caught up in the cables.
-Why always me?
751
00:50:42,498 --> 00:50:44,079
Indecent exposure.
752
00:50:44,250 --> 00:50:46,161
I havenât eaten the whole day.
753
00:50:46,335 --> 00:50:48,121
And violating probation.
754
00:50:48,295 --> 00:50:51,207
Letâs keep it short.
One month in prison.
755
00:50:51,465 --> 00:50:54,081
-What?
-For both of them.
756
00:50:54,343 --> 00:50:57,085
-But Im just his pet.
-Your honor.
757
00:50:57,263 --> 00:51:01,472
As we are dealing with repeat offenders,
I think one month...
758
00:51:01,725 --> 00:51:05,388
-Then three. And donât drag this out.
-But... But...
759
00:51:05,604 --> 00:51:06,935
The cafeteria is about to close.
760
00:51:07,189 --> 00:51:11,478
-l have champagne truffles.
-Whoa, thatâs a bribe attempt.
761
00:51:13,404 --> 00:51:15,360
So, six months. Happy?
762
00:51:15,614 --> 00:51:17,195
But...
763
00:51:18,701 --> 00:51:20,908
-Huh?
-Objection.
764
00:51:21,161 --> 00:51:22,742
Denied.
765
00:51:42,641 --> 00:51:44,427
Joe, my man.
766
00:51:44,685 --> 00:51:46,892
-Yeah.
-So youâre back?
767
00:51:47,146 --> 00:51:49,262
Freddie, they canât keep me down.
768
00:51:49,523 --> 00:51:52,686
Howâs Martha doing?
You old Martha fucker?
769
00:51:52,943 --> 00:51:55,810
You know her,
always has something to gripe about.
770
00:51:55,988 --> 00:51:57,694
-Joe.
-Tommi.
771
00:51:57,948 --> 00:52:01,031
You owe me a rematch
on the tennis court.
772
00:52:09,084 --> 00:52:12,542
I brought a little something
to nibble on.
773
00:52:12,796 --> 00:52:15,583
Itâs all vegan. Dig in. Help yourselves.
774
00:52:16,342 --> 00:52:19,709
All righty then,
according to Article 833, Section 2,
775
00:52:19,887 --> 00:52:22,003
the obligation to pay damages is invalid
776
00:52:22,264 --> 00:52:25,097
if they were caused
by a pet that is part of
777
00:52:25,351 --> 00:52:28,969
the ownerâs work,
occupation, or livelihood.
778
00:52:29,104 --> 00:52:32,596
And this man is very clearly
a small-time performer.
779
00:52:36,028 --> 00:52:40,317
The kangaroo is basically his mascot.
It is part of his act.
780
00:52:40,574 --> 00:52:43,657
And id like to refer to Article 582.
781
00:52:43,827 --> 00:52:47,240
Yes, all right.
Take the two of them with you, Joe.
782
00:52:50,584 --> 00:52:54,793
It was super nice of Joe to lend us
his car to drive to CoCon.
783
00:52:54,963 --> 00:52:58,876
âTommi, you owe me
a rematch on the tennis court.â
784
00:52:59,051 --> 00:53:01,963
âDig in, please. Its all vegan.â
785
00:53:05,182 --> 00:53:08,674
Why not leave your key here
so I can start painting the walls?
786
00:53:08,852 --> 00:53:12,015
Look for a nice restaurant
in Paris instead.
787
00:53:12,189 --> 00:53:14,180
If were not back in two days,
788
00:53:14,733 --> 00:53:16,724
avenge our deaths.
789
00:53:17,528 --> 00:53:22,318
Oh, âDon Quixote,â âThe Big Lebowski,â
kangaroo, red, Berlin, Italy, Havel.
790
00:53:22,491 --> 00:53:26,200
Joke: A doc tells a small-time performer
he has three months to live.
791
00:53:26,370 --> 00:53:30,363
The performer says,
All right, Doc. But off what?
792
00:53:32,418 --> 00:53:33,578
Cute.
793
00:53:40,926 --> 00:53:44,760
-And you needed so long for that list?
-It wasnât easy.
794
00:53:44,930 --> 00:53:48,514
Of course it is: Capital,
Banana Joe,â kangaroo, red,
795
00:53:48,684 --> 00:53:50,675
Hanoi, Vietnam, Mekong, and the joke:
796
00:53:50,853 --> 00:53:53,640
how many Vietcong vets does it take
to put in a light bulb?
797
00:53:53,814 --> 00:53:56,226
-No idea, maybe two.
-You have no idea!
798
00:53:56,400 --> 00:53:59,187
-You werenât there!
-Are you nuts?
799
00:54:00,946 --> 00:54:03,358
TRUTH, FACTS, STAY VIGILANT
800
00:54:07,202 --> 00:54:10,410
Last time I asked you
for leads on this kangaroo.
801
00:54:10,664 --> 00:54:13,076
Thatâs just conspiracy bullshit.
802
00:54:13,333 --> 00:54:15,870
Walter Feldmann contacted me.
803
00:54:16,128 --> 00:54:19,620
Walter, you have a YouTube channel
called Walternative Facts.
804
00:54:19,798 --> 00:54:24,508
-Correct.
-A video of yours went through the roof.
805
00:54:24,678 --> 00:54:26,919
Yes, The Kangaroo Conspiracy.
806
00:54:27,097 --> 00:54:30,180
The kangaroo is the head of a conspiracy
807
00:54:30,434 --> 00:54:32,425
called the Antisocial Network.
808
00:54:32,686 --> 00:54:37,931
His anti-terror attacks aim to fan dirty
left-wing-green-thinking eco-fascism.
809
00:54:38,192 --> 00:54:40,774
I mean how many times
have I been branded a Nazi
810
00:54:40,944 --> 00:54:42,559
just because Iâm a fan of the FOhref?
811
00:54:43,238 --> 00:54:47,698
But youâve potentially, possibly,
perhaps, uncovered something shocking.
812
00:54:47,951 --> 00:54:48,940
Yes.
813
00:54:49,119 --> 00:54:53,704
For centuries, kangaroos have been
secretly pulling the strings.
814
00:54:55,209 --> 00:54:57,871
Iâm sure you know this painting.
815
00:54:58,045 --> 00:54:59,751
What you donât know is...
816
00:55:00,589 --> 00:55:02,250
that its been doctored.
817
00:55:02,508 --> 00:55:06,376
Recently, using terahertz radiation
and layer amplification,
818
00:55:06,553 --> 00:55:09,886
it was revealed
who was actually behind this revolution.
819
00:55:10,057 --> 00:55:14,596
A kangaroo! We have to stop the critter!
Down with the kangaroo conspiracy!
820
00:55:14,853 --> 00:55:18,095
I am prepared to die
for my c... country.
821
00:55:18,273 --> 00:55:20,605
Evaâs made us tea. Thank you, dear.
822
00:55:20,776 --> 00:55:24,268
-What kind? I donât like black.
-German herbal tea.
823
00:55:25,030 --> 00:55:28,022
Strength through Friends.
Its on my webshop too.
824
00:55:28,742 --> 00:55:31,825
YouII find other great products too.
Check it out.
825
00:55:32,079 --> 00:55:37,039
After seeing Walters kangaroo video,
I had to do some research of my own.
826
00:55:37,209 --> 00:55:38,870
And what I found out
827
00:55:39,127 --> 00:55:42,619
might potentially,
possibly, perhaps, be shocking.
828
00:55:56,854 --> 00:55:58,469
Stay vigilant.
829
00:55:58,897 --> 00:56:00,558
Stay vigilant.
830
00:56:01,817 --> 00:56:04,058
Dude, those freaks are out to get me.
831
00:56:04,236 --> 00:56:07,103
Soon youII be getting death threats.
832
00:56:07,281 --> 00:56:10,023
Do you think Joe has a gun
in the glove box?
833
00:56:15,038 --> 00:56:16,244
Look.
834
00:56:16,415 --> 00:56:19,578
-Cookie?
-You have no idea whats in that.
835
00:56:22,087 --> 00:56:27,047
As the guy who always gets sanctioned
for animal neglect,
836
00:56:27,217 --> 00:56:29,799
I forbid you to eat those cookies.
837
00:56:32,723 --> 00:56:34,679
Stop that now!
838
00:56:34,933 --> 00:56:37,720
-Rock Paper Blizzard?
-If I win, you stop?
839
00:56:37,895 --> 00:56:40,557
If I win I get to eat them all
without you griping.
840
00:56:40,731 --> 00:56:43,063
-Deal!
-Rock, paper, blizzard!
841
00:56:43,942 --> 00:56:45,728
Whats that? A giraffe again?
842
00:56:45,986 --> 00:56:48,523
Its a Tyrannosaurus rex, you loser!
843
00:56:48,697 --> 00:56:50,028
Interesting.
844
00:56:50,282 --> 00:56:53,069
Fun fact:
my fist was a falling meteorite.
845
00:56:55,954 --> 00:56:56,989
Duh.
846
00:56:57,497 --> 00:56:59,863
Anyone can win with a meteorite.
847
00:57:01,877 --> 00:57:03,959
And a falling meteorite is a pleonasm.
848
00:57:04,129 --> 00:57:06,996
An asteroid becomes
a meteorite by falling.
849
00:57:07,257 --> 00:57:11,375
Had you pointed at yourself
and said smartass, youâd have won.
850
00:57:11,637 --> 00:57:13,468
-Two of three.
-Rock, paper, blizzard!
851
00:57:13,639 --> 00:57:14,628
Firestorm.
852
00:57:15,349 --> 00:57:17,010
-Well.
-No wells!
853
00:57:17,184 --> 00:57:20,517
I can do anything I think of,
but not a well?
854
00:57:20,687 --> 00:57:22,223
-Yes.
-Nonsense.
855
00:57:22,481 --> 00:57:24,221
Okay, three of five.
856
00:57:24,399 --> 00:57:26,230
-Rock, paper...
-No black holes.
857
00:57:26,485 --> 00:57:28,476
-How did you know I...?
-. blizzard.
858
00:57:28,654 --> 00:57:30,519
It isnt a game of chance.
859
00:57:38,372 --> 00:57:40,704
Find the fastest route to Bielefeld.
860
00:57:40,958 --> 00:57:42,789
SEARCHING FOR BIELEFELD
861
00:57:42,960 --> 00:57:45,042
Not found.
862
00:57:47,798 --> 00:57:49,288
No problem,
863
00:57:49,549 --> 00:57:52,165
I have an excellent sense of direction.
864
00:57:52,844 --> 00:57:55,586
Weâll be there
before you can say razupaltuff.
865
00:57:55,764 --> 00:57:57,470
Other way around.
866
00:57:58,058 --> 00:58:00,014
Hold on. Nearly got it. One sec.
867
00:58:00,686 --> 00:58:02,677
You have to get off here.
868
00:58:32,050 --> 00:58:33,790
EARLY SHOP
VILLAGE DRINKS
869
00:58:44,938 --> 00:58:45,927
Hello?
870
00:58:46,106 --> 00:58:50,065
My mom told me to be wary of places
where right-wing radicals
871
00:58:50,235 --> 00:58:52,601
keep their posters down low.
872
00:58:52,863 --> 00:58:54,273
PRINCE OF EUROPE
873
00:59:02,039 --> 00:59:03,654
Are you nuts?
874
00:59:13,008 --> 00:59:15,875
I have a really terrible feeling.
875
00:59:16,553 --> 00:59:19,511
Lets go ask at the inn. Looks nice.
876
00:59:22,684 --> 00:59:24,595
HEIDIS
877
00:59:35,989 --> 00:59:37,729
Good evening.
878
00:59:39,534 --> 00:59:41,149
Come on.
879
00:59:45,040 --> 00:59:46,371
Hello?
880
00:59:47,084 --> 00:59:50,292
Oh no. This is the shadow world.
Its the Upside Down.
881
00:59:50,462 --> 00:59:52,999
-We have to go.
-Pull yourself together.
882
00:59:53,882 --> 00:59:55,622
Ah! Dark Herta!
883
00:59:55,884 --> 00:59:57,795
Urn... Good evening.
884
00:59:58,053 --> 01:00:01,921
What kind of a strange dog
is that you got there?
885
01:00:03,892 --> 01:00:07,601
-Dark Jesus! Dark Maria!
-Were going to the refugee home.
886
01:00:08,396 --> 01:00:10,478
We need to...
887
01:00:10,649 --> 01:00:12,640
charge our electric car.
888
01:00:12,818 --> 01:00:14,900
Do you have an outlet for us?
889
01:00:15,070 --> 01:00:17,482
You think out here in the country
890
01:00:18,198 --> 01:00:20,530
we just have torches and candles?
891
01:00:20,784 --> 01:00:21,773
THE GERMAN PEOPLE
892
01:00:21,952 --> 01:00:23,817
That we live primitively?
893
01:00:24,079 --> 01:00:26,115
Or, as Thomas Hobbes would put it,
894
01:00:26,373 --> 01:00:29,410
âsolitary, poor,
nasty, brutish, and short?
895
01:00:29,668 --> 01:00:30,908
Dark Uwe!
896
01:00:31,169 --> 01:00:32,534
Your opposite.
897
01:00:32,712 --> 01:00:35,124
I mean, heâs manly,
898
01:00:35,674 --> 01:00:37,210
talented and...
899
01:00:37,384 --> 01:00:38,874
Kiss me.
900
01:00:40,846 --> 01:00:42,382
loved.
901
01:00:45,183 --> 01:00:47,048
Who? Where?
902
01:00:47,310 --> 01:00:49,141
Who is it?
903
01:00:50,480 --> 01:00:52,186
Who is my opposite?
904
01:01:02,534 --> 01:01:04,149
Plugged in!
905
01:01:22,888 --> 01:01:24,549
VACANCY
906
01:01:33,440 --> 01:01:35,351
You better not wake me.
907
01:01:48,246 --> 01:01:50,407
Just donât lose your head.
908
01:01:59,216 --> 01:02:01,207
Long ilve Aldebaran!
909
01:02:01,384 --> 01:02:05,753
We were in contact.
The Aldebaran confirmed our worst fears.
910
01:02:05,931 --> 01:02:10,265
The invasion of the reptillans
by the Draco constellation has begun.
911
01:02:10,435 --> 01:02:14,895
The government of GER Ltd. has been
subjected by the Plutonium Empire.
912
01:02:15,065 --> 01:02:17,397
The Sucknitz cell must take action!
913
01:02:17,567 --> 01:02:21,230
We have to cap the Reptillansâ
adrenochrome supply.
914
01:02:22,989 --> 01:02:28,029
-The Reptilians are among us.
-Even here, in Sucknitz.
915
01:02:28,203 --> 01:02:30,489
Stop gabbing so much, we have to act!
916
01:02:30,664 --> 01:02:32,746
We have to get to the bunkers in Berlin!
917
01:02:32,999 --> 01:02:37,663
-To free the kids!
-Or theyâll harvest their adrenochrome.
918
01:02:37,837 --> 01:02:40,749
-Weâre ready!
-For the children!
919
01:02:41,007 --> 01:02:43,544
-For the children!
-For the children!
920
01:02:43,802 --> 01:02:46,259
We are not alone.
921
01:02:48,056 --> 01:02:49,262
No.
922
01:02:55,272 --> 01:02:57,058
Leave me! Leave me!
923
01:02:57,649 --> 01:02:59,059
Leave me!
924
01:02:59,317 --> 01:03:01,524
-Leave me!
-lye given your...
925
01:03:02,404 --> 01:03:05,191
Well, it canât be a kangaroo
926
01:03:05,448 --> 01:03:08,281
because owning wild animals
is not permitted.
927
01:03:08,451 --> 01:03:10,863
Letâs just say Iâve given your... dog
928
01:03:11,121 --> 01:03:13,203
a mix of diazepam and haloperidol.
929
01:03:13,373 --> 01:03:15,705
Did someone say dog?
930
01:03:15,875 --> 01:03:18,582
You wonât believe
the far-out trip I had.
931
01:03:19,129 --> 01:03:21,165
Oh, yes, I believe it.
932
01:03:23,925 --> 01:03:25,415
Are you nuts?
933
01:03:25,593 --> 01:03:27,675
SUCKNITZ VILLAGE FAIR
PRINCE OF EUROPE
934
01:03:27,846 --> 01:03:30,883
This is the shadow world.
Its the Upside Down. Dark Herta!
935
01:03:31,057 --> 01:03:33,048
Collections for the childrens home?
936
01:03:33,226 --> 01:03:35,683
Dark Maria! Dark Jesus!
937
01:03:35,937 --> 01:03:37,598
Dark Uwe!
938
01:03:40,400 --> 01:03:42,607
Who is my opposite?
939
01:03:44,612 --> 01:03:46,443
HEIDIâS
940
01:03:46,614 --> 01:03:49,947
Maybe you shouldnât have eaten
the cookies, hm?
941
01:03:50,118 --> 01:03:53,360
Maybe you shouldnât have wagered
our apartment, hm?
942
01:03:53,538 --> 01:03:56,575
Maybe you shouldnât have come
to the dark restaurant, hm?
943
01:03:56,750 --> 01:03:59,958
Maybe I shouldnât have asked
you for eggs, hm?
944
01:04:00,128 --> 01:04:03,586
Maybe I shouldnât have answered.
Maybe I liked living alone.
945
01:04:03,757 --> 01:04:04,997
Hm?
946
01:04:08,136 --> 01:04:09,376
Cookie?
947
01:04:23,068 --> 01:04:25,855
Last night,
after a heat wave lasting weeks,
948
01:04:26,112 --> 01:04:29,320
we had torrent/al rains,
so drive carefully.
949
01:04:29,491 --> 01:04:32,858
And nowa hit
my good friend Joe requested.
950
01:04:33,036 --> 01:04:37,530
He says hi to all the people,
animals, and plants on the planet.
951
01:04:52,138 --> 01:04:54,595
Ding-dong!
Weâre paying you a visit
952
01:04:54,849 --> 01:04:57,465
Ringing your bell with rhythm and pie
Give it a fry
953
01:04:57,644 --> 01:05:01,978
We picked it from the rhythm pie tree
Take a bite and see
954
01:05:02,148 --> 01:05:05,936
And have you guessed
The out-of-this-world secrets inside?
955
01:05:06,111 --> 01:05:08,397
Brain, eyes, /,s,
heart, nose, legs, breast
956
01:05:08,571 --> 01:05:11,028
Put them together
then shakeâem with the rest
957
01:05:11,282 --> 01:05:15,241
Cut a rug and we âII sing to you
Weâre the dream team, so damn cool
958
01:05:15,495 --> 01:05:17,531
On our knees, we beg and plead
959
01:05:17,705 --> 01:05:19,536
Please, oh please, donât be such a dweeb
960
01:05:19,791 --> 01:05:22,498
Get crazy, people, champagne and treats
961
01:05:22,752 --> 01:05:26,745
Letâs outwit logic to the beat
Throw confetti and walk on tables
962
01:05:26,923 --> 01:05:29,209
And eat our brains with ladles
963
01:05:29,467 --> 01:05:31,423
/ mean, logic is sick overrated
964
01:05:31,594 --> 01:05:34,210
Bielefeld! You have to turn off! Turn!
965
01:05:34,472 --> 01:05:36,463
...one p/us one plus one plus one
966
01:05:36,724 --> 01:05:39,056
plus one plus one plus one is six!
967
01:05:44,649 --> 01:05:45,855
Crap, crap.
968
01:05:53,950 --> 01:05:55,486
Tell me the cookies are gone.
969
01:06:04,419 --> 01:06:06,034
Pack them away.
970
01:06:06,296 --> 01:06:07,877
Pack them away, quick!
971
01:06:08,506 --> 01:06:10,167
Not in your pouch!
972
01:06:10,675 --> 01:06:11,915
Yeah.
973
01:06:14,429 --> 01:06:15,885
Theyll see them!
974
01:06:16,139 --> 01:06:18,346
What was I supposed to do with them?
975
01:06:20,977 --> 01:06:23,434
-Eat them!
-You eat them!
976
01:06:30,236 --> 01:06:32,477
Where did you learn to drive?
977
01:06:34,115 --> 01:06:35,821
-Lisbeth?
-Lisbeth!
978
01:06:36,743 --> 01:06:39,530
Its you guys. Unbelievable.
979
01:06:39,787 --> 01:06:43,120
-What are you doing here?
-lye got to get to CoCon.
980
01:06:46,669 --> 01:06:49,661
And, urn... Why do you have a police car?
981
01:06:52,842 --> 01:06:54,707
Thatâs a long story.
982
01:06:55,845 --> 01:06:59,133
Dear passengers,
due to disastrous weather conditions
983
01:06:59,390 --> 01:07:01,881
the fliqht is being rerouted.
984
01:07:06,940 --> 01:07:08,396
Fuck you.
985
01:07:21,829 --> 01:07:23,740
Stay vigilant.
986
01:07:25,333 --> 01:07:27,449
I havent slept much.
987
01:07:29,546 --> 01:07:30,626
Sick.
988
01:07:30,797 --> 01:07:34,289
That has to be
the most incredible... No!
989
01:07:42,892 --> 01:07:45,759
Please turn. Please turn.
990
01:07:47,063 --> 01:07:49,679
Cars arenât really your thing, huh?
991
01:08:06,541 --> 01:08:08,998
I have to go. Im running late.
992
01:08:09,961 --> 01:08:11,952
Im speaking just before Adam Krieger.
993
01:08:12,130 --> 01:08:16,089
III take you.
I have an excellent sense of direction.
994
01:08:17,844 --> 01:08:19,459
-Urn... Yes.
-But...
995
01:08:20,305 --> 01:08:24,389
Shouldnt we call
roadside assistance or something?
996
01:08:35,194 --> 01:08:37,025
Howdy Doody, Joe speaking.
997
01:08:37,196 --> 01:08:39,152
Hey, Joe. So?
998
01:08:39,741 --> 01:08:41,606
Listen, your car...
999
01:08:41,868 --> 01:08:46,703
is parked on the side of the road,
just outside of Bielefeld.
1000
01:08:46,956 --> 01:08:50,164
A/though âparkedâ isnât exactly
the right word.
1001
01:08:50,335 --> 01:08:54,624
That is, itâs more kind of
lying there... on its hood.
1002
01:08:54,881 --> 01:08:57,372
There was this bee that...
1003
01:08:58,301 --> 01:09:00,508
Its, uh... hard to explain.
1004
01:09:00,678 --> 01:09:04,011
Ah, no biggie.
Donât worry about it, ftâs insured.
1005
01:09:04,182 --> 01:09:06,594
The main thing is that youre fine.
1006
01:09:11,022 --> 01:09:12,978
Do you see that too?
1007
01:09:16,569 --> 01:09:20,107
I presume were dealing with
a rift in time.
1008
01:09:21,240 --> 01:09:22,776
Say what?
1009
01:09:23,034 --> 01:09:27,528
A rift in the space-time continuum
has sent us back 2,000 years.
1010
01:09:27,705 --> 01:09:29,616
Liesel! What are you doing?
1011
01:09:29,791 --> 01:09:31,827
-Lieselâ
-Excuse me.
1012
01:09:32,710 --> 01:09:35,372
Excuse me, are you on your way to CoCon?
1013
01:09:37,298 --> 01:09:39,539
Surround her!
1014
01:09:45,264 --> 01:09:47,425
-The die is cast!
-Seize the day!
1015
01:09:47,684 --> 01:09:51,597
Weve found a German
who have a funny dog.
1016
01:09:51,729 --> 01:09:55,597
Who has a funny dog!
1017
01:09:57,276 --> 01:09:59,232
Forward, prisoners!
1018
01:10:00,488 --> 01:10:01,523
Watch it!
1019
01:10:02,073 --> 01:10:04,485
I fell in the magic potion as a kid.
1020
01:10:06,077 --> 01:10:07,487
What is this?
1021
01:10:07,745 --> 01:10:11,283
Clades Variana.
1022
01:10:11,541 --> 01:10:13,623
-Yo, Clades, wassup?
-Hey, no.
1023
01:10:13,876 --> 01:10:15,582
Im not Clades.
1024
01:10:15,753 --> 01:10:18,119
This is the Clades Variana,
1025
01:10:18,297 --> 01:10:20,037
the Varian Disaster.
1026
01:10:21,050 --> 01:10:25,510
I am Publius Quinctilius Varus
of Cremona,
1027
01:10:25,763 --> 01:10:30,132
son of quaestor
Sextus Quinctilius Varus.
1028
01:10:30,393 --> 01:10:34,056
Commander of three Roman legions!
1029
01:10:37,567 --> 01:10:39,273
And in real life?
1030
01:10:39,527 --> 01:10:41,108
Our Latin teacher.
1031
01:10:42,739 --> 01:10:44,946
Mag/sterlatinae //ngulae est.
1032
01:10:45,199 --> 01:10:46,689
Romans go the home!
1033
01:10:47,243 --> 01:10:50,531
Romans go home!
1034
01:10:50,705 --> 01:10:52,570
Raise shields!
1035
01:10:55,877 --> 01:10:57,117
Turn around!
1036
01:11:00,047 --> 01:11:01,787
Speers down!
1037
01:11:25,281 --> 01:11:28,944
-And you do this every year?
-Isnt it grand!
1038
01:11:34,332 --> 01:11:36,994
-Hello.
-You had an accident?
1039
01:11:37,251 --> 01:11:38,661
Yeah...
1040
01:11:39,295 --> 01:11:42,002
- There was this bee, and...
-Is my mom with you?
1041
01:11:43,174 --> 01:11:45,165
-Maybe.
-Is she all right?
1042
01:11:45,426 --> 01:11:47,337
I donât know.
1043
01:11:48,429 --> 01:11:49,919
Whats going on?
1044
01:11:50,181 --> 01:11:52,217
Thatâs hard to explain.
1045
01:11:52,475 --> 01:11:54,306
Very hard to explain.
1046
01:11:54,560 --> 01:11:56,721
What is hard to explain?
1047
01:11:56,938 --> 01:11:59,350
-Urn... the situation in general.
-Fire!
1048
01:12:00,650 --> 01:12:02,265
Take cover!
1049
01:12:03,152 --> 01:12:05,313
They have ballistasâ
1050
01:12:05,488 --> 01:12:06,477
Ballistae!
1051
01:12:06,739 --> 01:12:08,275
They have ballistaeâ
1052
01:12:09,408 --> 01:12:11,649
Who has balllstae?
1053
01:12:13,246 --> 01:12:14,861
The connect/on is bad.
1054
01:12:15,122 --> 01:12:16,237
At/east! hope so.
1055
01:12:18,167 --> 01:12:19,907
Are you in a movie theater?
1056
01:12:20,169 --> 01:12:21,875
-Excuse me.
-Hello?
1057
01:12:24,757 --> 01:12:26,622
Do I have to avenge your death?
1058
01:12:26,884 --> 01:12:27,999
Nope...
1059
01:12:28,261 --> 01:12:29,876
No.
1060
01:12:39,230 --> 01:12:43,098
Urn, excuse me.
Which way is it to Bielefeld?
1061
01:12:46,946 --> 01:12:48,231
Thanks.
1062
01:13:16,517 --> 01:13:18,348
That was a cakewalk.
1063
01:13:19,478 --> 01:13:21,560
COCON
WELCOME TO THE TRUTH
1064
01:13:28,654 --> 01:13:31,817
THIS EVENING
YOUR PATH TO THE TRUTH
1065
01:13:33,284 --> 01:13:35,275
STOP ORGANIC DIGITIZATION
1066
01:13:35,453 --> 01:13:37,284
AGAINST THE VACCINE MAFIA
1067
01:13:39,916 --> 01:13:44,455
Come with me and youâll find
all itâll cost you is your mind.â
1068
01:13:44,629 --> 01:13:46,244
Donald Trump.
1069
01:14:09,820 --> 01:14:11,401
Welcome,
1070
01:14:11,656 --> 01:14:14,113
you are now a citizen of the Reich.
1071
01:14:14,367 --> 01:14:16,449
Iâm a citizen of the Reich!
1072
01:14:17,578 --> 01:14:20,115
The Romans were harmless in comparison.
1073
01:14:20,289 --> 01:14:23,622
Yes. And this here appears to be out.
1074
01:14:25,544 --> 01:14:26,750
SYSTEM TRASH
1075
01:14:27,004 --> 01:14:29,541
These 499-euro sunglasses of mine
1076
01:14:29,799 --> 01:14:33,792
are an indispensable resource
in the fight against reptilians.
1077
01:14:34,720 --> 01:14:37,462
That one helps heal... rheumatism.
1078
01:14:37,723 --> 01:14:39,714
Whats that you said?
1079
01:14:40,851 --> 01:14:43,217
That one helps heal hearing loss.
1080
01:14:43,479 --> 01:14:45,686
Can I get an autograph too?
1081
01:14:45,856 --> 01:14:47,687
Yes, sure. Of course.
1082
01:14:47,858 --> 01:14:49,439
-Here.
-Awesome.
1083
01:14:49,694 --> 01:14:51,855
-Diesel Lieselâ
-On the hat.
1084
01:14:52,113 --> 01:14:53,068
Right.
1085
01:14:53,322 --> 01:14:54,402
On the arm.
1086
01:14:54,657 --> 01:14:57,649
-Thank you.
-Im a huge fan. Can you sign the baby?
1087
01:14:57,910 --> 01:14:58,865
Uh, no.
1088
01:14:59,120 --> 01:15:02,954
Donald Trump confirmed
that vaccines cause autism.
1089
01:15:03,207 --> 01:15:05,289
And heâs a well-trained doctor.
1090
01:15:05,459 --> 01:15:07,871
Go on. One for your child too.
1091
01:15:08,629 --> 01:15:11,211
And thatâs why it was an inside job.
1092
01:15:11,382 --> 01:15:14,089
-Thank you for the chat.
-Thank you.
1093
01:15:19,515 --> 01:15:22,973
9/11 is the cannabis
of conspiracy theories.
1094
01:15:23,227 --> 01:15:26,515
No, I think Covid-19
is the gateway drug now.
1095
01:15:26,689 --> 01:15:29,146
This isnt the right place for this.
1096
01:15:29,400 --> 01:15:30,810
-Please go.
-Security!
1097
01:15:31,068 --> 01:15:34,310
I thought anyone could say
any old bull here.
1098
01:15:34,572 --> 01:15:36,437
-Okay, fine.
-Move!
1099
01:15:36,615 --> 01:15:39,072
I have proof that 9/11
1100
01:15:39,326 --> 01:15:41,817
wasnt an inside job!
1101
01:15:42,913 --> 01:15:45,245
Could I still get a T-shirt?
1102
01:15:45,499 --> 01:15:47,285
I do workshops in Brandenburg.
1103
01:15:47,543 --> 01:15:50,285
A Glock 32 is good. Its easy to grip.
1104
01:15:50,546 --> 01:15:54,505
You can crawl across the floor, or jump.
You have to jump after them.
1105
01:15:54,759 --> 01:15:57,922
Youâve got to shoot the critters
right in the stomach, the head.
1106
01:15:58,179 --> 01:16:00,795
If you leave the window open at night,
1107
01:16:01,057 --> 01:16:03,924
illegal drones will implant
a microchip inside you.
1108
01:16:04,185 --> 01:16:08,144
Then Hitler withdrew
to New Swabia in a Nazi UFO.
1109
01:16:08,397 --> 01:16:10,353
where he realized that
1110
01:16:10,608 --> 01:16:13,350
the sun is cold.
1111
01:16:13,527 --> 01:16:17,645
-Why else would...
-Im glad rn no small-time performer.
1112
01:16:17,823 --> 01:16:20,986
ltd be very hard to overstate this.
1113
01:16:22,661 --> 01:16:26,495
You have to understate it
or no one will believe it.
1114
01:16:26,665 --> 01:16:30,408
The small hail: pendulum divining
wllh heavy metals for beginners.
1115
01:16:30,669 --> 01:16:33,627
Krieger founded
a money-grubbing publishing house.
1116
01:16:35,883 --> 01:16:38,716
-He was a left-wing radical?
-Yes.
1117
01:16:39,845 --> 01:16:45,385
Strange. People who fall into the rabbit
hole always land on the far right.
1118
01:16:45,559 --> 01:16:47,049
Nonsense.
1119
01:16:47,228 --> 01:16:48,843
Krieger isnât a Nazi.
1120
01:16:49,105 --> 01:16:50,970
Donât take this the wrong way,
1121
01:16:51,148 --> 01:16:55,107
but if something walks,
clucks, and lays eggs like a chicken,
1122
01:16:55,277 --> 01:16:57,643
then it very probably is a chicken.
1123
01:16:57,905 --> 01:16:59,566
Oh, crap.
1124
01:17:00,366 --> 01:17:05,030
Come over here,
we have the latest truth for you.
1125
01:17:05,204 --> 01:17:08,071
Hereâs what its all about:
the world is a cube.
1126
01:17:08,332 --> 01:17:12,746
Weâve got T-shirts for 79.90,
and were everywhere.
1127
01:17:12,920 --> 01:17:15,582
Were on Facebook. Weâre on...
1128
01:17:22,888 --> 01:17:25,846
-Do you remember us?
-Were your biggest fans.
1129
01:17:26,100 --> 01:17:27,510
What? But...
1130
01:17:28,102 --> 01:17:31,970
We took the liberty of disseminating
your revolutionary message.
1131
01:17:32,231 --> 01:17:33,391
What?
1132
01:17:33,566 --> 01:17:35,807
My message? I dont understand.
1133
01:17:36,068 --> 01:17:38,559
We were there, in KOpenick,
1134
01:17:38,737 --> 01:17:40,944
when you spoke of the cube Earth.
1135
01:17:41,198 --> 01:17:44,986
The only way to ward off chemtrails is
to have a roof over your head.
1136
01:17:45,161 --> 01:17:46,822
Earth is a cube.
1137
01:17:47,955 --> 01:17:49,946
A cube-Earth theory.
1138
01:17:50,541 --> 01:17:52,657
The Earth is obviously square.
1139
01:17:52,835 --> 01:17:55,372
Why else do all maps have four corners?
1140
01:17:55,546 --> 01:17:58,128
Weve been spreading
your truth everywhere.
1141
01:17:58,299 --> 01:18:01,086
Facebook, YouTube,
Insta, Twitter, 4chan,
1142
01:18:01,343 --> 01:18:03,675
5chan, 6chan, 7chan,
1143
01:18:03,929 --> 01:18:05,214
8chan,
1144
01:18:05,472 --> 01:18:07,212
MySpace, Telegram, WeChat,
1145
01:18:07,474 --> 01:18:08,680
nextdoor.de,
1146
01:18:08,934 --> 01:18:11,767
Reddit, WhatsApp, StudiVZ, TikTok.
1147
01:18:12,021 --> 01:18:16,936
Soon only sheeple will believe
the Earth is flat and/or round.
1148
01:18:17,109 --> 01:18:18,724
Round? Ha.
1149
01:18:18,903 --> 01:18:20,143
How ridiculous.
1150
01:18:20,404 --> 01:18:22,986
What baloney. That was just a joke.
1151
01:18:23,240 --> 01:18:25,401
This is all one big joke.
1152
01:18:25,659 --> 01:18:29,447
-What?
-I thought up the thing with the cube.
1153
01:18:31,123 --> 01:18:32,203
Ah.
1154
01:18:32,374 --> 01:18:36,242
This is a test?
Youre testing our true belief.
1155
01:18:36,503 --> 01:18:38,459
-Right?
-No.
1156
01:18:38,631 --> 01:18:40,371
Its bulicrap.
1157
01:18:42,635 --> 01:18:44,796
And youâre still allowed to say that.
1158
01:18:46,305 --> 01:18:47,886
Oh, Lisbeth.
1159
01:18:48,766 --> 01:18:51,223
Lisbeth, why are you denying everything?
1160
01:18:51,852 --> 01:18:53,808
I can tell you why.
1161
01:18:55,272 --> 01:18:57,308
The kangaroo brainwashed her.
1162
01:18:57,483 --> 01:18:58,643
Me?
1163
01:18:59,318 --> 01:19:03,027
You mustâve sat in the garage
with the engine running.
1164
01:19:03,197 --> 01:19:06,781
Youâve been brainwashed,
and/or are a traitor.
1165
01:19:07,034 --> 01:19:08,524
Traitor!
1166
01:19:08,702 --> 01:19:11,159
-Traitor!
-Traitor!
1167
01:19:11,413 --> 01:19:13,449
Traitor! Traitor!
1168
01:19:21,090 --> 01:19:23,172
Quiet! Quiet! Quiet!
1169
01:19:28,264 --> 01:19:31,802
Iâm certain we are
potentially, possibly, perhaps,
1170
01:19:31,976 --> 01:19:34,718
dealing with a misunderstanding here.
1171
01:19:36,438 --> 01:19:38,645
This is Lisbeth.
1172
01:19:38,816 --> 01:19:40,556
Diesel Liesel.
1173
01:19:40,818 --> 01:19:42,399
One of us.
1174
01:19:42,653 --> 01:19:44,314
Right, Lisbeth?
1175
01:19:45,823 --> 01:19:49,111
-Adam, I really donât know...
-Hey, Mr. S.!
1176
01:19:49,285 --> 01:19:50,900
A real S. Martazz!
1177
01:19:54,081 --> 01:19:56,538
These fools arenât with you, are they?
1178
01:20:01,422 --> 01:20:02,582
No.
1179
01:20:06,802 --> 01:20:08,133
You see?
1180
01:20:08,304 --> 01:20:10,966
Go freshen up.
Youâre up in five minutes.
1181
01:20:11,140 --> 01:20:12,346
Yes.
1182
01:20:13,309 --> 01:20:15,675
Its our duty to stop the kangaroo!
1183
01:20:15,853 --> 01:20:17,969
That critter canât leave here alive!
1184
01:20:24,445 --> 01:20:27,733
Mincemeat! Mincemeat! Mincemeat...
1185
01:20:41,086 --> 01:20:44,499
Wait! What youâre about to do is murder!
1186
01:20:44,673 --> 01:20:47,005
Youâll all go to prison for this.
1187
01:20:47,176 --> 01:20:48,507
Not true.
1188
01:20:49,470 --> 01:20:52,758
As per the German Criminal Code,
animals are goods.
1189
01:20:52,931 --> 01:20:56,298
According to Article 303,
killing this kangaroo
1190
01:20:56,560 --> 01:20:59,427
would merely be considered
property damage.
1191
01:20:59,688 --> 01:21:00,768
What?
1192
01:21:00,939 --> 01:21:05,683
So we would at most,
potentially, possibly, perhaps,
1193
01:21:05,861 --> 01:21:11,026
be liable to provide recourse
to this gentlemen for killing his pet.
1194
01:21:11,283 --> 01:21:14,195
It isnt my pet. It belongs to itself.
1195
01:21:14,370 --> 01:21:16,861
Itâs peculiar
when it comes to ownership.
1196
01:21:17,122 --> 01:21:19,864
-Ugh, bad timing.
-All the better.
1197
01:21:20,626 --> 01:21:24,995
Killing an animal without an owner is
no problem whatsoever.
1198
01:21:25,255 --> 01:21:26,745
-Nice.
-No!
1199
01:21:27,007 --> 01:21:29,373
-No!
-Stop! Stop!
1200
01:21:29,968 --> 01:21:32,175
One moment. Stop! Stop!
1201
01:21:32,429 --> 01:21:34,044
Stop!
1202
01:21:34,223 --> 01:21:37,215
Scheduling announcement: in five minutes
1203
01:21:37,476 --> 01:21:39,592
Diesel Liesel, followed by...
1204
01:21:39,770 --> 01:21:42,102
-Lisbeth.
-...Adam Krieger, ilve.
1205
01:21:42,356 --> 01:21:47,350
Youâve found like-minded people,
friends, Iâd even say family.
1206
01:21:48,654 --> 01:21:51,487
Donât say anything youâll regret later.
1207
01:21:54,284 --> 01:21:59,278
As per the statutes the Brotherhood
of Truth Warriors adopted in 1448
1208
01:21:59,540 --> 01:22:04,000
in Nuremberg, I demand the accused
be allowed to defend themselves,
1209
01:22:04,169 --> 01:22:06,000
in a duel.
1210
01:22:13,053 --> 01:22:16,921
That might
potentially, possibly, perhaps,
1211
01:22:17,599 --> 01:22:19,555
indeed be in the statutes.
1212
01:22:20,853 --> 01:22:22,684
If the accused demand a duel,
1213
01:22:22,855 --> 01:22:25,267
then it must be granted to them.
1214
01:22:25,524 --> 01:22:28,607
And the accused get
to choose the weapons.
1215
01:22:28,777 --> 01:22:30,142
I choose...
1216
01:22:30,654 --> 01:22:32,485
Rock Paper Blizzard.
1217
01:22:36,618 --> 01:22:39,906
Welcome to
the big Rock Paper Blizzard duel.
1218
01:22:45,419 --> 01:22:47,876
Were playing best of three.
1219
01:22:48,130 --> 01:22:51,588
Once one team has won two duels,
it has won.
1220
01:22:52,176 --> 01:22:55,134
Round one features the kangaroo...
1221
01:22:59,892 --> 01:23:02,053
against Heinz!
1222
01:23:08,775 --> 01:23:10,265
On your marks...
1223
01:23:24,500 --> 01:23:25,990
get set...
1224
01:23:29,087 --> 01:23:32,124
rock, paper, blizzard!
1225
01:23:34,301 --> 01:23:36,087
Climate crisis.
1226
01:23:37,095 --> 01:23:38,676
Adam Kriegerl
1227
01:23:43,435 --> 01:23:46,472
Krieger doesnât believe
in the climate crisis.
1228
01:23:46,730 --> 01:23:49,642
It doesnât care
if Krieger doesnât believe in it.
1229
01:23:49,816 --> 01:23:52,228
-Itâs coming no matter what.
-Oh, yeah?
1230
01:23:53,028 --> 01:23:54,609
Krieger doesnât care.
1231
01:23:55,155 --> 01:23:57,646
Even if there were a crisis,
1232
01:23:57,824 --> 01:24:02,568
in central Germany it wouldnât be
really bad until after heâs dead.
1233
01:24:05,916 --> 01:24:07,781
Not a good crowd.
1234
01:24:07,960 --> 01:24:10,702
And what about the rest of the world?
1235
01:24:17,261 --> 01:24:20,503
Krieger doesnt give a shit
about the rest of the world!
1236
01:24:20,764 --> 01:24:23,597
Krieger doesnt give a shit
about the rest of the world!
1237
01:24:23,767 --> 01:24:25,632
Thatâs right!
1238
01:24:27,312 --> 01:24:28,267
Yes!
1239
01:24:28,522 --> 01:24:31,434
The first round goes to Heinz!
1240
01:24:32,734 --> 01:24:33,689
Yes!
1241
01:24:35,153 --> 01:24:36,359
But...
1242
01:24:37,072 --> 01:24:38,903
prompting isnt fair.
1243
01:24:40,409 --> 01:24:42,650
One more victory and his team has won.
1244
01:24:42,911 --> 01:24:44,196
Bravo!
1245
01:24:51,920 --> 01:24:53,626
Round two.
1246
01:24:54,339 --> 01:24:58,503
We have Lisbeth Schiabotnik,
alias Diesel Liesel...
1247
01:25:02,389 --> 01:25:04,801
versus Tina from White Russian Todayl
1248
01:25:09,980 --> 01:25:11,845
On your marks...
1249
01:25:16,028 --> 01:25:17,484
get set...
1250
01:25:27,289 --> 01:25:29,951
rock, paper, blizzard!
1251
01:25:30,876 --> 01:25:32,366
Jesus Christ!
1252
01:25:33,670 --> 01:25:35,376
Chuck Norris!
1253
01:25:42,179 --> 01:25:43,544
Thereâs nothing to discuss.
1254
01:25:43,722 --> 01:25:48,182
Jesus is obviously more important
than Chuck Norris.
1255
01:25:52,064 --> 01:25:54,225
This isnt about importance.
1256
01:25:55,108 --> 01:25:58,020
This is about head-to-head battle.
1257
01:25:58,195 --> 01:25:59,810
Yes! Yes, maâam!
1258
01:26:00,072 --> 01:26:03,781
Jesus is far more powerful.
He can change water into wine!
1259
01:26:04,034 --> 01:26:06,275
-Say what?
-And raise the dead!
1260
01:26:06,953 --> 01:26:08,944
And the thing with the fish.
1261
01:26:09,206 --> 01:26:12,243
And if Chuck hit him on the left cheek,
1262
01:26:12,501 --> 01:26:14,958
what would Jesus do then?
1263
01:26:16,713 --> 01:26:18,294
Crap.
1264
01:26:25,347 --> 01:26:27,588
He would turn the other cheek.
1265
01:26:31,520 --> 01:26:33,636
The second round goes to the home team!
1266
01:26:41,905 --> 01:26:43,770
That decides it.
1267
01:26:44,366 --> 01:26:48,575
We have a clear winner
and the kangaroo has to die!
1268
01:26:57,295 --> 01:26:59,456
No, no! Wait, wait, wait!
1269
01:26:59,631 --> 01:27:00,871
Stop!
1270
01:27:02,801 --> 01:27:06,544
I want my turn too. Double or nothing.
1271
01:27:06,805 --> 01:27:08,761
Whatâs that supposed to mean?
1272
01:27:10,016 --> 01:27:12,849
If I beat you, the kangaroo goes free.
1273
01:27:13,854 --> 01:27:15,219
And if you lose?
1274
01:27:18,191 --> 01:27:21,433
Then you can kill me too?
1275
01:27:23,947 --> 01:27:26,529
-Boy, are you insane?
-No, no, no.
1276
01:27:27,200 --> 01:27:30,818
I have to advise against that.
That would be murder.
1277
01:27:31,079 --> 01:27:32,319
Sorry.
1278
01:27:33,498 --> 01:27:35,113
Wait! No!
1279
01:27:35,751 --> 01:27:37,457
All right...
1280
01:27:38,587 --> 01:27:40,873
If I lose...
1281
01:27:41,840 --> 01:27:43,421
then...
1282
01:27:43,592 --> 01:27:46,959
I will kill myself.
1283
01:27:47,596 --> 01:27:50,759
And Ill do it with that... cleaver!
1284
01:27:52,851 --> 01:27:55,342
Legally, thats not a problem.
1285
01:27:55,604 --> 01:27:56,844
All righty.
1286
01:27:57,105 --> 01:27:58,561
Weâre in business!
1287
01:28:01,818 --> 01:28:03,354
Round three!
1288
01:28:06,573 --> 01:28:08,859
Double or nothing.
1289
01:28:10,619 --> 01:28:13,281
-We have fat boy...
-Iâm not fat.
1290
01:28:16,416 --> 01:28:19,499
against the small-time performer.
1291
01:28:19,753 --> 01:28:22,165
Im not a small-time performer...
1292
01:28:22,923 --> 01:28:25,130
-Ow! Why?
-On your marks...
1293
01:28:26,760 --> 01:28:27,920
get set...
1294
01:28:44,402 --> 01:28:46,017
rock...
1295
01:28:48,198 --> 01:28:50,109
paper...
1296
01:28:53,537 --> 01:28:55,448
blizzard!
1297
01:29:03,839 --> 01:29:06,455
Yes!
1298
01:29:37,956 --> 01:29:40,413
Paper? Honestly, dude? Paper?
1299
01:29:40,584 --> 01:29:42,870
You can do whatever and you do paper?
1300
01:29:44,546 --> 01:29:45,752
Compadres!
1301
01:29:46,006 --> 01:29:47,792
Come with me if you want to live.
1302
01:29:52,596 --> 01:29:54,257
Hey! Hey!
1303
01:29:54,514 --> 01:29:56,505
Theyre taking off! After them!
1304
01:29:58,518 --> 01:30:01,180
I dont get it.
Did you think hed do rock?
1305
01:30:01,313 --> 01:30:04,476
-I was under pressure!
-You couldve at least done a well!
1306
01:30:04,733 --> 01:30:08,396
How about saying thanks?
I just risked my life for you!
1307
01:30:12,949 --> 01:30:14,610
Stop them!
1308
01:30:16,411 --> 01:30:17,696
Stop!
1309
01:30:17,954 --> 01:30:19,410
Liesel
1310
01:30:20,290 --> 01:30:22,246
-Leave me behind!
-Want some?
1311
01:30:22,417 --> 01:30:24,157
-Tell Maria...
1312
01:30:24,419 --> 01:30:26,410
-Im sorry!
-Youâre coming.
1313
01:30:26,671 --> 01:30:27,831
Smack time!
1314
01:30:28,089 --> 01:30:31,252
-III make mincemeat of you!
-Come and get some!
1315
01:30:32,260 --> 01:30:34,672
I have to warn you.
I do have a black belt.
1316
01:30:36,723 --> 01:30:39,590
I heard kangaroo burgers
taste fantastic.
1317
01:30:39,851 --> 01:30:41,387
A real delicacy.
1318
01:30:41,645 --> 01:30:43,306
Get them.
1319
01:30:44,439 --> 01:30:46,896
Look! There!
1320
01:30:48,944 --> 01:30:50,605
Chemtrails...
1321
01:30:51,655 --> 01:30:53,395
Chemtrails!
1322
01:30:54,991 --> 01:30:57,778
Chemtrails! Take cover!
1323
01:30:57,953 --> 01:30:59,864
Heyl Hey, are you bonkers?
1324
01:31:00,038 --> 01:31:01,744
Come back! Stay where you are!
1325
01:31:01,998 --> 01:31:04,489
Come back! Come back!
1326
01:31:25,105 --> 01:31:28,768
If you really look,
you see that people are, by and large,
1327
01:31:29,818 --> 01:31:31,729
stupid.
1328
01:31:34,322 --> 01:31:37,064
I think this guy is
potentially, possibly,
1329
01:31:37,242 --> 01:31:40,029
perhaps, an asshole.
1330
01:31:41,246 --> 01:31:43,453
My experience says the same.
1331
01:32:09,107 --> 01:32:11,348
All the nonsense people believe.
1332
01:32:12,777 --> 01:32:14,859
Iâm finally vigilant again.
1333
01:32:32,088 --> 01:32:35,080
I just really didnât want
to have to avenge your deaths.
1334
01:32:35,967 --> 01:32:38,754
Yes, Iâm getting the gaming console.
1335
01:32:40,221 --> 01:32:43,258
This is my second car.
Small, but solar-powered.
1336
01:32:43,433 --> 01:32:45,924
Built it myself. Itâs my hobby.
1337
01:33:03,870 --> 01:33:07,704
To be honest,
Iâm pretty glad you won the bet.
1338
01:33:09,042 --> 01:33:10,248
Me too.
1339
01:33:10,418 --> 01:33:14,036
Now I can put the kangaroo in front
of the console when it annoys me.
1340
01:33:14,214 --> 01:33:15,750
-Unbelievable!
1341
01:33:15,924 --> 01:33:17,710
No ice cream sandwiches.
1342
01:33:17,884 --> 01:33:20,671
And this calls itself haute cuisine.
1343
01:33:21,638 --> 01:33:23,629
I shouldnât have brought you.
1344
01:33:23,890 --> 01:33:26,006
If anyone took anybody anywhere,
1345
01:33:26,184 --> 01:33:28,345
then it was me who took you.
1346
01:33:30,522 --> 01:33:32,683
Thatâs all, folks.
1347
01:33:37,153 --> 01:33:39,064
Kangaroo rap two thousand...
1348
01:33:39,239 --> 01:33:41,275
-The movies not over.
-Well...
1349
01:33:41,533 --> 01:33:45,071
From here its just cheesy.
No one wants to see it. We can...
1350
01:33:45,328 --> 01:33:47,865
Nonsense. Everyone wants to see it.
1351
01:33:48,665 --> 01:33:50,405
All right, then...
1352
01:33:51,751 --> 01:33:53,958
Letâs grit our teeth and do this.
1353
01:33:54,129 --> 01:33:57,963
We have gathered here today
in this church
1354
01:33:58,133 --> 01:34:02,342
because the two of you
wish to be wed in holy matrimony.
1355
01:34:02,512 --> 01:34:06,346
And so I ask you,
my friend Josef Seligmann,
1356
01:34:06,516 --> 01:34:12,102
do you wish to take Maria Schiabotnik
as your lawfully wedded wife?
1357
01:34:12,272 --> 01:34:13,432
I do.
1358
01:34:13,606 --> 01:34:16,348
And I ask you, Maria Schiabotnik...
1359
01:34:16,526 --> 01:34:19,643
-I didnât think itâd end like this.
-Me either.
1360
01:34:19,821 --> 01:34:24,986
my pen pal and pilgrimage partner,
as your lawfully wedded husband?
1361
01:34:25,243 --> 01:34:26,733
I do.
1362
01:34:27,328 --> 01:34:29,785
Chin up, dude. Champagne truffle?
1363
01:34:29,956 --> 01:34:32,538
many say marriage is merely cheesy...
1364
01:34:32,709 --> 01:34:36,201
Oh, well. Letâs get out of here.
Iâm allergic to frankincense.
1365
01:34:36,379 --> 01:34:38,210
Yeah, letâs go home.
1366
01:34:38,840 --> 01:34:41,047
You may now kiss the bride.
1367
01:35:03,364 --> 01:35:06,151
I think the movie really is over now.
1368
01:35:06,326 --> 01:35:08,112
What makes you think that?
1369
01:35:15,877 --> 01:35:19,495
-How do we get out of here?
-How should I know?
1370
01:35:19,672 --> 01:35:22,630
But the big blue door is my best guess.
1371
01:35:31,226 --> 01:35:33,512
Huh? Where are we now?
1372
01:35:33,686 --> 01:35:35,222
No idea.
1373
01:35:37,565 --> 01:35:39,806
Excuse me, our movie is over.
1374
01:35:39,984 --> 01:35:43,147
How... do we get out of here?
1375
01:35:43,696 --> 01:35:45,857
An old horse does not forget his path.
1376
01:35:46,032 --> 01:35:48,569
God damn it!
Why is there a dog in the picture?
1377
01:35:48,743 --> 01:35:50,859
Were trying to film herel
1378
01:35:56,834 --> 01:35:59,792
Kangaroo rap 2139
1379
01:35:59,963 --> 01:36:05,003
Potentially, possibly, perhaps
1380
01:36:05,260 --> 01:36:07,672
This movie ends wllh this rap
1381
01:36:07,845 --> 01:36:10,052
Yet there is magic in every end
1382
01:36:10,223 --> 01:36:12,259
We drink out of the eaves
1383
01:36:12,433 --> 01:36:14,014
Our truth is disguised
1384
01:36:14,185 --> 01:36:16,346
Power to the animals
Small-time performers united
1385
01:36:16,938 --> 01:36:18,769
An offer has been made
1386
01:36:18,940 --> 01:36:21,022
-That you can accept..
-Or not!
1387
01:36:21,276 --> 01:36:25,645
We communicate with âpetsâ
Who formulate things we donât get
1388
01:36:25,822 --> 01:36:28,063
They talk about a world in demise
1389
01:36:28,324 --> 01:36:30,235
Something we donât seem to realize
1390
01:36:30,410 --> 01:36:32,446
We say, âItâs all in your headsâ
1391
01:36:32,620 --> 01:36:35,111
From thinking in bourgeois categories
1392
01:36:35,373 --> 01:36:37,864
Reality check, no time, mate
1393
01:36:38,042 --> 01:36:40,829
This is the post-factual age
1394
01:36:41,004 --> 01:36:44,997
The vengeance of the dim wits
Our feelings burst on the facts
1395
01:36:45,174 --> 01:36:49,508
We show our rain forest a PDF
And when II rains we sue the WWF
1396
01:36:49,679 --> 01:36:54,469
Weâre not about to change
We want to kick up a stink, not to think
1397
01:36:54,726 --> 01:36:57,012
You donât want to see it
Switch the numbers
1398
01:36:57,186 --> 01:36:59,848
Not owning the shit
Is your shtick
1399
01:37:00,106 --> 01:37:03,314
But you have to know
The signs show when itâs time to go
1400
01:37:03,568 --> 01:37:05,354
And the signs are c/ear as day
1401
01:37:05,528 --> 01:37:09,066
The planet will survive
Humanity will fade away
1402
01:37:10,241 --> 01:37:12,778
The end is niqh!
1403
01:37:13,036 --> 01:37:17,496
One hundred thousand opinions
Only one is clear
1404
01:37:17,749 --> 01:37:22,118
Yet if we lose this planet
1405
01:37:22,378 --> 01:37:26,838
Then thereâs no Planet B
And nowhere we can debate
1406
01:37:31,846 --> 01:37:34,132
Deba, deba, deba, deba
1407
01:37:34,307 --> 01:37:36,844
Deba, deba, debate
1408
01:37:37,101 --> 01:37:38,841
Deba, deba, deba, deba,
1409
01:37:39,020 --> 01:37:41,011
Deba, deba, debate
1410
01:37:42,565 --> 01:37:46,183
Itâd be sad, thatâs all
Itâd just be sad, sad
1411
01:37:47,028 --> 01:37:50,316
Itâd be kind of sad, or not?
1412
01:37:52,116 --> 01:37:55,984
This place is full
Of ambitionated people
1413
01:37:56,162 --> 01:37:58,153
Iâm out of here
1414
01:37:58,790 --> 01:38:00,872
Gonna chill with my marsupial
1415
01:42:08,122 --> 01:42:10,579
648,363.
1416
01:42:11,292 --> 01:42:13,704
648,364.
1417
01:42:14,337 --> 01:42:16,919
-648,3...
-Thatâs enough, Krapotke.
1418
01:42:17,506 --> 01:42:18,962
Thatâs enough.
1419
01:42:21,677 --> 01:42:23,417
Yes, Captain.
97178
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