Original subtitles

It is very seldom that a short story writer is

able to make anything worthwhile out of an incident that

actually happened.

But this story is one of the rare exceptions.

I myself met the Umbrella Man on a street in New York City.

And I followed him, just as in this story,

and I was delighted and amazed by what I found.

I must confess to you that I tried

the same experiment myself a few days later

to see if it really worked.

And it did.

I only hope that on the next rainy day that comes along,

we won't have thousands of you going

out and doing the same thing.

It would cause chaos in the land.

[suspenseful music]

[ding]

Sir?

I want a room.

One night.

Right.

Oh, uh, sign the book, sir, would you please?

And, say?

Yes?

Do you have such a thing as a list of the public houses

in this town?

The what?

Public houses.

Inns.

Hostelries, bars.

Public houses.

Pubs.

A list?

Of those in the center of your charming little town.

Yeah.

A list.

We've only this.

That'll do nicely.

Room 8, first floor.

Thank you.

Was there something else, sir?

Yes.

A porter.

A porter?

[laughing]

No porter?

I say, you don't happen to know the weather forecast,

do you?

Know what?

The weather.

The weather.

Tomorrow's weather.

No idea.

I don't care about the weather.

I'm stuck in here all day.

[music playing]

I hear you've had some heavy rains the past few days.

I don't notice the weather!

Yes.

Heavy, very heavy.

[music playing]

[static]

RADIO ANNOUNCER: [inaudible] some heavy rain.

It may become cloudy towards evening, but for the most part,

the day will be dry and sunny.

And that's the weather.

Oh, damn!

[music playing]

[clearing throat]

You want the paper?

No.

[chimes]

ANNOUNCER (ON INTERCOM): Here is a special announcement.

We regret that the 8:25 to Cambridge

is running approximately 15 minutes late.

Going to be 15 minutes late.

Again.

Hmm.

Hello, Arthur, Wendy.

Andrew.

You won't need that today, old man.

What?

Umbrella.

Better safe than sorry.

Forecast was dry and sunny.

After the weather we've been having, you can't be too

careful.

That's ridiculous.

Beg your pardon?

No.

[mumbling]

Like some coffee, dear?

No, thanks.

I'll just pass through to the buffet.

I don't want a cup either, thanks.

Darling.

Darling.

I love you.

I love you.

Oh, God.

Oh, Andrew.

When are we going to meet?

I mean, properly.

What about lunch time today?

I've got the hairdresser's at 11:00,

but I can be through by 1:00.

Damn nice and I can't.

I've got a business lunch.

Oh, darling.

Do you think, does Arthur suspect?

Of course not.

He looks at me so strangely.

Does Jennifer suspect?

No.

No, she's more interested in our cats than she is in me.

Poor darling.

If only--

[coughs]

Ha!

Damn silly.

What is?

Bringing an umbrella in weather like this.

[laughing] You're all wet.

That's your trouble, Andrew.

You're wet [inaudible].

Ha!

[music playing]

Morning.

[music playing]

Morning.

Thank you.

Hey, say?

Yeah?

Where's the nearest church?

The what?

Church.

Place of worship.

House of God.

Temple, chapel, church.

What denomination?

Any denomination.

Straight down the road, turn right.

[music playing]

I can't get four across.

Can't you?

Tell you what.

Let's see if your wife can help.

Oh, I'm no good at crosswords.

Have a look, you never know.

Tricky.

Want me to tell you?

No, I'll go on struggling.

The answer is "mistrust."

Ah, it's coming in.

What train you coming back on?

I don't know yet.

The 5:20.

I thought you said the 5:20, Arthur.

I'll bet I did.

I'll try to be on it, the 5:20.

I'm so sorry.

That's OK, old lad.

[dog barking]

Nearly forgot.

[organ music playing]

[thunder crashing]

[music intensifies]

[jazz music playing]

Excuse me, madam.

I do hope you'll excuse me.

Yes?

I wonder if I could ask a small favor.

It's only a very small favor.

Well, what do you want?

Well, as a matter of fact, I've got

myself into a bit of a strait.

And I need some help.

Not much, I assure you.

It's almost nothing, in fact, but I do need it.

I haven't got money.

You see, madam, old people like me often

become terribly forgetful.

I'm sorry, but I don't give to beggars.

Madam, I assure you I'm not a beggar.

[laughing] Do I look like a beggar?

I beg you to believe, madam, that I am not

in the habit of stopping young ladies in the street

and telling them my troubles.

I should hope not.

You see, I've never forgotten it before.

You've never forgotten what before?

My wallet.

- Please, go away. - Oh, but madam--

I should call the police!

Allow me to explain.

Do me the courtesy.

You see, I left my wallet in my other jacket.

Now, isn't that the silliest thing to do?

I have told you, I am not going to give you any money--

Quite right.

So there is no use asking me for money.

Madam, I'm not asking for money.

Good gracious!

Heaven forbid I should ever do such a thing!

Then what are you asking?

Allow me to explain.

Now, when I first saw you hurrying those people,

taking cover, I said to myself, what

an attractive woman, fresh from the hairdresser, no doubt.

Smart, elegant, with a kindly, not to say, considerate face.

And yet--

And yet, what?

Well, you'll forgive me saying this,

I know, but I couldn't help feeling that you were

possessed of a certain sadness.

Sadness?

Am I probably quite wrong?

No, no, it's silly of me.

No, no.

Go on.

Well, I saw in your eyes a lost, faraway look that, uh,

hinted at pain.

And forgive an old man's impertinence,

but you seemed to me so terribly, terribly touching.

Did I?

Yes.

And so I thought that you were the one person

to approach because my dilemma might,

in turn, be of some help, however small to you.

How do you mean?

I wish to offer this umbrella of mine to protect you.

Your umbrella?

Madam, I don't wish to encroach

or pry on your private affairs.

But if, as I suspect at this moment,

you are suffering from some unrequited love, a longing,

an ache, then I can think of nothing

worse than to endure such suffering of the heart

in the pouring rain.

It is depressing.

All I ask in return is five pounds for my taxi fare home.

You are asking me for money.

Madam, I am not without means!

I think I told you, I left my wallet in the other jacket.

Now, if I am to get this weary old body home,

I need the taxi fare.

And all I can offer in return is my umbrella.

And I believe I may be of some service to you

as an added reward.

If you had no money in the first place,

then how did you get here?

Well, I walked.

Every day, I go for a lovely long walk,

and then I summoned a taxi to take me home.

I do it every day of the year, come rain or shine.

Then why don't you walk home now?

But I wish I could.

I really wish I could.

But I don't think I would make it on these silly

old legs of mine.

I've gone far too far already.

It's-- it's a lovely umbrella.

Yes.

It's, uh, it's silk.

I can see it is.

Yes.

But then why don't you take it, madam?

I mean, it cost me over 20 pounds,

and that was several years ago.

But that's of no importance, as long as I can get home.

I don't think it's right that I should

pay you five pounds for a silk umbrella that cost you over 20.

Just take the taxi fare and be done with it--

No, no, no, no, no. I wouldn't dream it.

I wouldn't dream of taking money from you.

No, no.

Take the umbrella here, lady.

Keep the rain off your beautiful hair

and let your spirit be cheered just a little.

Does it show so clearly?

Just a look in your eye.

Just one more thing, madam.

Remember this.

No man is worth the tears of a beautiful woman.

Good day, madam.

[music playing]

[chatter]

[music playing]

Oh, God.

[laughing]

Ha!

Well, well, well, now.

Well, what?

[laughing] I thought to myself,

as I was trying to find a taxi and getting soaked to the skin,

I thought to myself, well, Andrew will be all right.

Andrew brought his umbrella.

- It was stolen. - Stolen?

Yeah.

While I was lunching in a pub.

I got back to the office, several of my colleagues

have had theirs stolen too.

Really?

I went round to the police station to report it.

They had several complaints.

Damned odd, damned annoying.

- Well, Wendy will be furious. - Why?

She had her hair done today.

It probably looks like a drowned rat by now.

Drowned rat, indeed.

Don't worry, Arthur.

I didn't buy a new one.

No, a most extraordinary thing happened.

A man-- dear, kind, old man--

asked me if I would buy his umbrella.

Swine.

I beg your pardon?

Yeah, you-- your umbrella was stolen.

You're a liar!

Swine!

What on earth are you talking about?

I'm talking about you and Wendy.

You met at lunch time, didn't you?

You gave her your umbrella.

You met at lunch time and then you

invented some cock and bull story

about theft and the police!

Can't run a fool like me.

Do you think I'm blind?

Arthur, stop this at once.

Secret looks and whisperings aside, you met at lunch time

for God knows what reason, and he gave you his umbrella!

This is rubbish, nonsense, absolute madness.

In the first place, it isn't my umbrella.

In the second place-- - Don't lie Li me.

You can lie in court!

Court!

What do you mean court?

I'll name you as correspondent.

[horn honking]

Arthur, for God's sake.

You're behaving like a maniac.

This umbrella was sold to me!

I don't want to hear any more lies!

Now, you just listen to her.

Shut up!

I know you're in love with her.

I am not in love with her.

I'm a happily married man.

[laughs] Happily married man.

I am!

I don't give a fig for your wife--

You may not give a fig, but you gave her your umbrella.

I can prove I didn't.

This is absolute madness.

Look, come with me now to the police station.

Oh, nice try. I'm--

I demand you come to the police.

You accuse me of treachery.

You threaten me with divorce proceedings.

You put my marriage and happiness in jeopardy.

At least you can allow me to prove my innocence.

Yup!

Umbrellas.

Could be.

Oh, we have pulled in a man.

A well-known con merchant, known as The Major,

The Commander, The Rural Dean, and even Chief Inspector.

But I hadn't connected him with the umbrellas.

An umbrella man.

[laughs] He's come down in the world.

Uh, we'd need you to identify him, madam.

Well, of course she'll identify him.

There's a great deal at stake.

People's happiness depends on this, Inspector.

Wheel chummy in, will you?

That better be the man, otherwise

happiness won't be a word much used around these parts.

Well, madam, is this the man who sold you the umbrella?

No.

I've never seen him before.

That's all I wanted to hear.

You'll both be hearing from my solicitor in the morning.

How could you, Wendy?

This is the man, isn't it?

How could you? - How could you?

No man is worth the tears of a beautiful woman.

[music playing]

On your way then, are you, sir?

Yes.

Um, off to Manchester, I think.

Manchester?

Always rains in Manchester.

Yes.

Yes, I know.

[upbeat music]

[music playing]

[ding]