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1
00:00:08,995 --> 00:00:09,800
Hello.
2
00:00:10,311 --> 00:00:12,325
Oh, hey, Julia;
I was just on my way over.
3
00:00:13,012 --> 00:00:14,679
Anything I need to bring?
4
00:00:14,746 --> 00:00:17,137
Thai food, wine, batteries?
5
00:00:19,612 --> 00:00:21,466
What do you mean, "Don't come"?
6
00:00:23,448 --> 00:00:25,223
Gee, do you really think
your psychiatrist
7
00:00:25,223 --> 00:00:27,531
is the best judge
of who you should sleep with?
8
00:00:29,488 --> 00:00:30,799
Well, sure you could do better.
9
00:00:30,799 --> 00:00:32,261
We could both do better.
10
00:00:33,445 --> 00:00:35,705
But in the meantime,
I am on my way over.
11
00:00:36,554 --> 00:00:38,615
Okay, okay, need
to stop you here.
12
00:00:38,615 --> 00:00:39,778
There is a big difference
13
00:00:39,845 --> 00:00:41,743
between "meaningless"
and "degrading."
14
00:00:44,371 --> 00:00:45,111
You know what?
15
00:00:45,111 --> 00:00:47,269
I think we just have
to agree to disagree.
16
00:00:48,345 --> 00:00:50,883
Okay, then,
you have a nice life, too.
17
00:00:54,646 --> 00:00:56,880
Why do these women
insist on getting well?
18
00:00:57,945 --> 00:01:00,245
Hey, Alan...
Hang on, Charlie.
19
00:01:00,312 --> 00:01:02,178
This is an
important moment,
20
00:01:02,245 --> 00:01:03,978
and I want
to savor it.
21
00:01:05,643 --> 00:01:07,436
Alan...
22
00:01:07,646 --> 00:01:08,955
J.
23
00:01:10,045 --> 00:01:11,514
Harper.
24
00:01:14,145 --> 00:01:16,145
What's the big deal?
It's just an alimony check.
25
00:01:16,212 --> 00:01:18,112
Not an alimony check.
26
00:01:18,178 --> 00:01:22,317
This is my final alimony check.
27
00:01:24,345 --> 00:01:25,850
Isn't it beautiful?
28
00:01:26,045 --> 00:01:27,245
Oh, wait.
29
00:01:27,312 --> 00:01:28,579
Judith is getting married
this weekend.
30
00:01:28,646 --> 00:01:29,612
Exactly.
31
00:01:29,679 --> 00:01:31,073
And you know
what that means.
32
00:01:31,074 --> 00:01:33,379
You can finally kick in
a few bucks around here?
33
00:01:35,212 --> 00:01:36,896
Good one. No.
34
00:01:37,712 --> 00:01:40,279
It means Alan gets
new underwear.
35
00:01:42,145 --> 00:01:45,178
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm going to go pick up my son
36
00:01:45,245 --> 00:01:47,255
and deliver this last drop
of blood money
37
00:01:47,255 --> 00:01:49,545
to the former Mrs. Alan Harper
38
00:01:49,612 --> 00:01:51,811
and soon-to-be
Mrs. Herb Melnick.
39
00:01:51,878 --> 00:01:53,314
May God have
mercy on his soul.
40
00:01:57,746 --> 00:01:58,746
Amen.
41
00:02:00,877 --> 00:02:02,078
So, you want
some company?
42
00:02:02,145 --> 00:02:03,445
You want to come
with me?
43
00:02:03,512 --> 00:02:05,612
Eh, why not?
I don't have
any plans.
44
00:02:05,679 --> 00:02:06,869
You got stood up
again, didn't you?
45
00:02:08,741 --> 00:02:10,078
I'm starting to think
all these girls
46
00:02:10,145 --> 00:02:12,212
have the same
damn shrink.
47
00:02:12,758 --> 00:02:14,679
All right, well, if you're
gonna come, grab your camera.
48
00:02:14,746 --> 00:02:16,186
You can take some snapshots
of Pharaoh Judith
49
00:02:16,186 --> 00:02:17,551
letting her Alan go.
50
00:02:19,020 --> 00:02:20,550
Got the camera right here.
51
00:02:20,612 --> 00:02:22,379
You carry it with you?
52
00:02:22,445 --> 00:02:24,078
I thought I had a date.
53
00:02:25,945 --> 00:02:27,445
Takes video, too.
54
00:02:29,386 --> 00:02:38,386
www.1000fr.com present
55
00:02:40,386 --> 00:02:49,386
Capture:FRM@MaoRen
sync:FRM@gadence
56
00:02:51,808 --> 00:02:52,692
I got to hand it to you,
Charlie.
57
00:02:52,923 --> 00:02:54,923
Stopping at the copy place
was a great idea.
58
00:02:56,057 --> 00:02:58,414
And the picture
will make a terrific
Christmas card.
59
00:03:00,657 --> 00:03:02,429
JUDITH:
Want to get
the door, Herb?!
60
00:03:02,429 --> 00:03:04,072
HERB:
Stop yelling at me!
61
00:03:04,072 --> 00:03:05,506
I'm not yelling!
62
00:03:05,573 --> 00:03:06,860
This is yelling!
63
00:03:07,506 --> 00:03:09,040
You know what?
This really isn't that funny.
64
00:03:11,472 --> 00:03:12,739
Oh, hi, Alan,
Charlie.
65
00:03:12,806 --> 00:03:13,906
Herb.
Hey.
66
00:03:13,973 --> 00:03:15,072
This a bad time?
67
00:03:15,139 --> 00:03:17,172
The Spanish Inquisition
was a bad time.
68
00:03:17,239 --> 00:03:19,072
This is hell.
69
00:03:19,139 --> 00:03:20,131
Come in.
70
00:03:20,439 --> 00:03:21,848
So what's going on?
71
00:03:21,848 --> 00:03:23,667
A little pre-
wedding jitters?
72
00:03:23,839 --> 00:03:24,940
You could call it that,
73
00:03:24,940 --> 00:03:27,112
but we'd just
be sugar-coating hell.
74
00:03:27,472 --> 00:03:29,006
Oh, don't worry.
75
00:03:29,072 --> 00:03:30,806
As soon as Judith puts
on that beautiful
white gown
76
00:03:30,873 --> 00:03:31,975
and starts marching
down that aisle...
77
00:03:31,975 --> 00:03:33,606
She doesn't want
to wear white.
78
00:03:33,673 --> 00:03:34,850
Says it makes
her look fat.
79
00:03:35,172 --> 00:03:36,873
Oh, well, that's nice.
80
00:03:36,940 --> 00:03:38,339
She wants to look
trim and fit
81
00:03:38,406 --> 00:03:39,763
for the honeymoon.
82
00:03:39,763 --> 00:03:41,712
You're sugar-coating
hell again, Alan.
83
00:03:42,639 --> 00:03:43,477
If you really want
to help the guy,
84
00:03:43,477 --> 00:03:45,439
stop talking and smother him
with a pillow.
85
00:03:46,432 --> 00:03:47,860
Hey.
86
00:03:48,040 --> 00:03:50,201
Hey, there's the blushing bride.
87
00:03:50,406 --> 00:03:52,109
She doesn't look fat
at all.
88
00:03:53,639 --> 00:03:55,039
Go ahead.
Give her the check.
89
00:03:55,040 --> 00:03:56,245
What check?
90
00:03:57,233 --> 00:04:00,806
Oh, uh, well, I-I figured
as long as I was here,
91
00:04:01,229 --> 00:04:06,296
that I would give you your last
and final alimony check.
92
00:04:08,940 --> 00:04:09,948
Got it.
93
00:04:10,506 --> 00:04:12,139
What the hell are you doing?
94
00:04:12,205 --> 00:04:13,606
Just a little
souvenir.
95
00:04:13,673 --> 00:04:15,053
I'll go find Jake.
96
00:04:15,072 --> 00:04:16,873
See? She's being
a good sport.
97
00:04:16,940 --> 00:04:18,371
Let's get one
withhe big check.
98
00:04:18,372 --> 00:04:20,472
Forget the big check.
99
00:04:20,539 --> 00:04:24,606
So, um, you know, um,
I-I read an interesting
story the other day.
100
00:04:24,673 --> 00:04:27,006
Uh, married men
live, on average,
101
00:04:27,072 --> 00:04:29,006
ten years longer
than single men.
102
00:04:29,072 --> 00:04:30,906
What if they
don't want to?
103
00:04:31,469 --> 00:04:33,873
Come on, you and Judith
were made for each other.
104
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:35,572
What could possibly
come between you?
105
00:04:35,573 --> 00:04:36,372
My sister.
106
00:04:36,439 --> 00:04:38,006
You got a sister?
107
00:04:38,072 --> 00:04:39,839
Down, Charlie.
108
00:04:39,906 --> 00:04:41,986
She came out a few days early
to help with the wedding,
109
00:04:41,986 --> 00:04:43,306
but it's not really helping.
110
00:04:43,372 --> 00:04:44,873
What does she look like?
Charlie!
111
00:04:44,940 --> 00:04:46,639
She doesn't have
a therapist, does she?
112
00:04:46,706 --> 00:04:47,706
Charlie, I swear to God!
113
00:04:47,773 --> 00:04:49,773
So what do you think?
114
00:04:49,839 --> 00:04:52,439
Should I wear it or have a vet
check it for worms?
115
00:04:52,506 --> 00:04:56,040
No, no, it looks fine.
116
00:04:56,105 --> 00:04:58,205
Oh, Myra, this is
Judith's first husband, Alan.
117
00:04:58,272 --> 00:05:00,205
Hi.
So how does this work?
118
00:05:00,272 --> 00:05:02,072
Do you get your
original testicles back
119
00:05:02,139 --> 00:05:04,172
or does my brother
give you his?
120
00:05:05,873 --> 00:05:08,539
Myra, the castration jokes
are getting a little old.
121
00:05:09,266 --> 00:05:10,339
Not in my house.
122
00:05:11,606 --> 00:05:13,506
Myra, this is Alan's brother,
Charlie.
123
00:05:13,573 --> 00:05:15,239
Oh, yeah, the booze-
riddled sleazebag.
124
00:05:16,372 --> 00:05:18,040
She did not hear that from me.
125
00:05:18,105 --> 00:05:20,472
It's not like it's a big secret.
126
00:05:20,539 --> 00:05:21,839
JUDITH:
Myra,
127
00:05:21,906 --> 00:05:23,306
where the hell is Jake?
128
00:05:23,372 --> 00:05:25,040
How should I know?
129
00:05:25,105 --> 00:05:27,040
Because I asked you
to get him ready to go
to his father's.
130
00:05:27,105 --> 00:05:31,105
You also asked me to try on
this satin stool sample.
131
00:05:31,172 --> 00:05:33,606
Herb, tell your sister
it's a lovely dress.
132
00:05:33,673 --> 00:05:35,372
Herb, tell your fianc�e
the diet pills
133
00:05:35,439 --> 00:05:38,072
are affecting her judgment
but not her ass.
134
00:05:38,139 --> 00:05:39,873
That's it,
she's got to go.
135
00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:42,006
I can't throw
out family!
136
00:05:42,072 --> 00:05:44,706
And that's the
bitch of it, Herb.
137
00:05:47,272 --> 00:05:49,105
Hey, um, Charlie and I
138
00:05:49,172 --> 00:05:51,006
were thinking of taking
Jake out to a movie.
139
00:05:51,072 --> 00:05:52,739
We were?
We were.
140
00:05:52,806 --> 00:05:54,472
Myra, would you like
to join us?
141
00:05:54,539 --> 00:05:56,040
You didn't say anything
about a movie.
142
00:05:56,105 --> 00:05:58,706
I wanted to
surprise you.
143
00:05:58,773 --> 00:06:00,706
Hey, you know what?
That's a great idea.
144
00:06:00,773 --> 00:06:02,339
Go to a movie
with Alan and Charlie.
145
00:06:02,406 --> 00:06:04,940
Can I wear my pretty new dress?
146
00:06:05,006 --> 00:06:07,539
Get her out, Herb.
147
00:06:07,606 --> 00:06:11,040
Hey, look what I found
in the bushes.
148
00:06:21,927 --> 00:06:24,973
God, I hate
family movies.
149
00:06:25,040 --> 00:06:26,673
What, you don't buy
the central premise
150
00:06:26,739 --> 00:06:28,673
that a dog
can play hockey?
151
00:06:30,773 --> 00:06:33,539
Well, not as a
power forward.
152
00:06:36,973 --> 00:06:39,940
Oh. We're flying the
friendly skies, are we?
153
00:06:40,639 --> 00:06:42,139
After you.
154
00:06:42,205 --> 00:06:44,105
Why, thank you.
155
00:06:46,639 --> 00:06:49,739
So, you're staying
at Judith's.
156
00:06:49,806 --> 00:06:51,539
Yep.
157
00:06:51,606 --> 00:06:53,406
What does she
say about me?
158
00:06:53,472 --> 00:06:55,006
Well, if she's telling
the truth,
159
00:06:55,072 --> 00:06:57,973
we really shouldn't be drinking
out of the same cup.
160
00:06:58,040 --> 00:06:59,906
That might be
the nicest thing
161
00:06:59,973 --> 00:07:02,739
she's ever
said about me.
162
00:07:02,806 --> 00:07:06,006
I just don't understand
what my brother sees in her.
163
00:07:06,072 --> 00:07:11,506
You know, 15 years
ago I asked the exact
same question.
164
00:07:11,573 --> 00:07:12,806
A little tip?
165
00:07:12,873 --> 00:07:14,806
Don't do it during
the wedding toast.
166
00:07:16,506 --> 00:07:19,072
Maybe you can clear
something up for me.
167
00:07:19,139 --> 00:07:21,906
Herb says you're
a successful jingle writer,
168
00:07:21,973 --> 00:07:23,973
but Judith says you are
a drunken talentless hack
169
00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:26,139
who passed out and fell
into a pit of money.
170
00:07:28,128 --> 00:07:29,806
So what do you
need cleared up?
171
00:07:32,472 --> 00:07:35,372
Boy, you got me
at a disadvantage.
172
00:07:35,439 --> 00:07:37,172
I don't know why
Judith hates you.
173
00:07:37,239 --> 00:07:39,773
Hmm, it's hard to say.
174
00:07:39,839 --> 00:07:41,573
Maybe it's 'cause
I'm smart.
175
00:07:41,639 --> 00:07:43,839
Maybe it's because
I'm independent.
176
00:07:43,906 --> 00:07:46,205
Maybe it's because I offered my
brother a thousand dollars
177
00:07:46,272 --> 00:07:47,576
to call off the wedding.
178
00:07:48,653 --> 00:07:51,006
I did the same thing
with my brother.
179
00:07:51,105 --> 00:07:52,439
You did?
180
00:07:52,506 --> 00:07:56,006
Well, actually, it was a
thousand-dollar hooker...
181
00:07:58,521 --> 00:08:00,573
...but the thought
was the same.
182
00:08:05,940 --> 00:08:09,639
So, Myra...
what do you do?
183
00:08:09,706 --> 00:08:12,072
I teach high school
economics.
184
00:08:12,139 --> 00:08:13,873
Huh.
185
00:08:13,940 --> 00:08:15,406
It may sound
like a boring life,
186
00:08:15,472 --> 00:08:18,606
but at night, I dress up like
a giant spider and fight crime.
187
00:08:20,873 --> 00:08:23,573
Interesting. Now,
did you decide spider
188
00:08:23,639 --> 00:08:25,139
and have the costume made
189
00:08:25,205 --> 00:08:27,973
or did you find the costume
and say, "Okay, spider"?
190
00:08:29,639 --> 00:08:31,706
Are you mocking
the Scarlet Arachnid?
191
00:08:33,306 --> 00:08:35,072
Sorry, sorry.
192
00:08:35,139 --> 00:08:37,673
It's just hard to believe
that you're Herb's sister.
193
00:08:37,739 --> 00:08:39,673
He's so...
194
00:08:39,739 --> 00:08:41,172
Hapless?
195
00:08:42,211 --> 00:08:44,727
I was going to say "tall,"
but hapless works.
196
00:08:46,072 --> 00:08:49,072
To hapless Herb.
197
00:08:49,139 --> 00:08:51,072
To the Scarlet Arachnid.
198
00:08:52,070 --> 00:08:53,288
Shh.
199
00:08:53,372 --> 00:08:55,105
My enemies are everywhere.
200
00:08:57,839 --> 00:09:02,272
* Let's all go to the lobby,
let's all go the lobby *
201
00:09:02,339 --> 00:09:07,906
* Let's all go the lobby
and have ourselves a treat. *
202
00:09:08,817 --> 00:09:10,517
We're here.
203
00:09:10,773 --> 00:09:14,105
Oh, yes,
Judith's house of pain.
204
00:09:14,172 --> 00:09:16,306
Shh, shh, ixnay!
205
00:09:16,372 --> 00:09:17,372
That's her id-kay.
206
00:09:18,289 --> 00:09:20,177
We're... here.
207
00:09:20,973 --> 00:09:23,839
Well, thanks
for the movie.
208
00:09:23,906 --> 00:09:24,845
Wait. Wait, wait.
209
00:09:24,845 --> 00:09:27,473
I'll walk you.
Why, thank you.
210
00:09:28,973 --> 00:09:29,947
CHARLIE:
Whoa!
211
00:09:31,228 --> 00:09:32,256
MYRA:
You okay?
212
00:09:32,808 --> 00:09:35,114
CHARLIE:
I never know till I sober up.
213
00:09:37,108 --> 00:09:38,634
I think
they like each other.
214
00:09:38,634 --> 00:09:40,873
Well, sure they
like each other.
215
00:09:40,940 --> 00:09:43,292
No, I mean, they like
like each other.
216
00:09:43,292 --> 00:09:44,715
Oh, no, Jake.
217
00:09:44,715 --> 00:09:46,541
Your Uncle Charlie
only like likes
218
00:09:46,541 --> 00:09:48,271
a certain type of woman.
219
00:09:48,300 --> 00:09:50,052
Mom calls 'em tramps.
220
00:09:52,105 --> 00:09:53,950
That's as good
a word as any.
221
00:09:56,639 --> 00:09:57,978
Thanks, that was fun.
222
00:09:58,036 --> 00:09:59,935
Yeah, it was.
223
00:10:00,239 --> 00:10:01,093
See ya around.
224
00:10:01,573 --> 00:10:02,457
Yeah.
225
00:10:06,173 --> 00:10:08,039
I'm sorry.
I don't know why I did that.
226
00:10:08,760 --> 00:10:10,004
Who cares?
227
00:10:12,139 --> 00:10:14,472
Looks like Aunt Myra's
a tramp, huh?
228
00:10:20,046 --> 00:10:22,180
me on, Judith,
so he gave her a kiss.
229
00:10:22,247 --> 00:10:23,518
It's no big deal.
230
00:10:23,579 --> 00:10:25,113
That's how Charlie says
good-bye.
231
00:10:25,864 --> 00:10:28,046
Some people shake hands,
some people wave,
232
00:10:28,113 --> 00:10:30,554
my brother darts his tongue
in and out of your mouth.
233
00:10:31,919 --> 00:10:33,279
What'd I miss?
234
00:10:33,280 --> 00:10:34,797
You know Dr. Melnick?
235
00:10:34,797 --> 00:10:36,180
Guy your mom's
marrying?
236
00:10:36,592 --> 00:10:38,238
He has a sister...
Got it.
237
00:10:39,846 --> 00:10:42,479
I'm sure it has nothing to do
with you, Judith.
238
00:10:42,881 --> 00:10:44,146
Wait, hang on a second.
239
00:10:44,213 --> 00:10:45,646
Jake, are you done
with your breakfast?
240
00:10:45,712 --> 00:10:47,346
Yeah.
Then get out.
241
00:10:47,413 --> 00:10:49,679
Fine, Berta will just tell me
later, right?
242
00:10:49,746 --> 00:10:50,746
Right.
243
00:10:54,413 --> 00:10:55,879
Okay, Judith, that's insane.
244
00:10:55,946 --> 00:10:58,679
Charlie would not do Myra
just to piss you off.
245
00:10:58,746 --> 00:11:00,913
I don't think.
246
00:11:00,979 --> 00:11:02,779
How would I know
what he sees in her?
247
00:11:02,846 --> 00:11:04,646
She got working girl parts?
248
00:11:06,646 --> 00:11:07,579
You know what?
249
00:11:07,646 --> 00:11:09,480
You leave. Send Jake back.
250
00:11:10,879 --> 00:11:12,380
Okay, okay. Fine, fine.
251
00:11:12,447 --> 00:11:13,913
I'll talk to him.
252
00:11:13,979 --> 00:11:15,813
I, I don't know.
253
00:11:15,879 --> 00:11:18,579
I'll, uh, I'll tell him
to keep his hands off Myra.
254
00:11:18,646 --> 00:11:20,712
And then I'll tell
the rain not to fall,
255
00:11:20,779 --> 00:11:23,612
the Earth not to spin
and you to stop nagging me!
256
00:11:30,846 --> 00:11:33,346
Oh, boy, I'm going
to pay for that.
257
00:11:33,841 --> 00:11:35,413
You know what your problem is?
258
00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:36,746
Phone cojones.
259
00:11:37,461 --> 00:11:38,113
Excuse me?
260
00:11:38,180 --> 00:11:39,547
When you're
on the phone with her,
261
00:11:39,612 --> 00:11:41,480
you got boulders
between your legs.
262
00:11:43,013 --> 00:11:46,547
The minute you hang up,
you're as smooth as a Ken doll.
263
00:11:47,746 --> 00:11:49,979
Phone cojones.
264
00:11:50,046 --> 00:11:51,447
Good to have a name for it.
265
00:11:52,314 --> 00:11:54,013
So, tell me about the sister.
266
00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:55,280
I don't know.
267
00:11:55,346 --> 00:11:56,640
She doesn't seem
like his type at all.
268
00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:59,579
What, no coin slot
in her forehead?
269
00:11:59,646 --> 00:12:01,447
Morning.
Morning.
270
00:12:01,513 --> 00:12:03,380
Charlie, we need
to talk about Myra.
271
00:12:04,132 --> 00:12:05,991
Yeah, that was
probably a mistake.
272
00:12:05,991 --> 00:12:06,733
It was?
273
00:12:07,186 --> 00:12:08,879
She's a nice kid, but...
274
00:12:08,946 --> 00:12:10,313
she's just not,
you know...
275
00:12:10,380 --> 00:12:13,113
A red-hot simpleton
with no self-respect?
276
00:12:15,046 --> 00:12:16,579
I just hope she
didn't take
277
00:12:16,646 --> 00:12:17,946
that whole kiss
thing too seriously.
278
00:12:18,013 --> 00:12:19,979
So, you're not planning
on pursuing her?
279
00:12:20,046 --> 00:12:21,712
No, no, no.
280
00:12:21,779 --> 00:12:23,413
In fact, I got
a date tonight
281
00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:26,413
with a lovely sex
addict whose therapist
is on vacation.
282
00:12:27,712 --> 00:12:29,213
It's what we
eligible bachelors
283
00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:31,547
call "a window
of opportunity."
284
00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:35,013
You know, Charlie, there's
a special section in hell
285
00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:36,612
reserved for people like you.
286
00:12:37,878 --> 00:12:38,513
That's good,
287
00:12:38,579 --> 00:12:40,500
'cause I'd hate
to have to stand on line.
288
00:12:42,046 --> 00:12:44,646
So I'm like, "Yeah,
I can make a lot of money
289
00:12:44,712 --> 00:12:46,180
"as a lingerie model,
but then who's
290
00:12:46,246 --> 00:12:48,946
gonna take me seriously
as a director?"
291
00:12:49,881 --> 00:12:50,812
Good point.
292
00:12:50,813 --> 00:12:53,180
Sometimes I wish
I wasn't beautiful.
293
00:12:53,246 --> 00:12:55,513
I mean, ugly people
have it so easy, you know?
294
00:12:56,372 --> 00:12:57,266
I've heard.
295
00:12:57,579 --> 00:13:00,413
So, what about you?
Still writing jingles?
296
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:02,046
Just during the day.
297
00:13:02,113 --> 00:13:05,080
At night, I dress up as a
big spider and fight crime.
298
00:13:05,146 --> 00:13:07,413
Huh. You know,
I dated a cop once.
299
00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:08,979
Well, it wasn't
so much a date
300
00:13:09,046 --> 00:13:11,513
as a way to get
out of a ticket.
301
00:13:11,867 --> 00:13:12,745
Interesting.
302
00:13:12,979 --> 00:13:15,346
Okay. Here we are.
303
00:13:15,413 --> 00:13:17,879
Ah. I hope this place
has fresh lobster.
304
00:13:17,946 --> 00:13:20,513
That frozen stuff
is just disgusting.
305
00:13:36,246 --> 00:13:37,712
JUDITH:
You know what, Herb?
306
00:13:37,779 --> 00:13:39,346
Forget it.
I'll do it myself.
307
00:13:39,413 --> 00:13:41,447
HERB:
I said I would do it--
I'll do it!
308
00:13:41,513 --> 00:13:43,346
MYRA:
For God's sake,
Judith, get off his back!
309
00:13:43,413 --> 00:13:45,146
JUDITH:
No one's talking to you, Myra!
310
00:13:45,213 --> 00:13:46,979
HERB:
Okay, everyone calm down.
311
00:13:47,046 --> 00:13:48,413
I'm doing it.
312
00:13:49,513 --> 00:13:50,679
Oh. Hi, Charlie.
313
00:13:50,746 --> 00:13:51,913
Hey, Herb.
314
00:13:51,979 --> 00:13:54,946
Just taking out the trash.
315
00:13:55,013 --> 00:13:57,746
Yeah, I'm coming from
doing the same thing.
316
00:13:59,547 --> 00:14:01,447
Great. He leaves
the door wide op...
317
00:14:01,513 --> 00:14:02,946
What the hell
are you doing here?
318
00:14:03,013 --> 00:14:04,513
That's a good question.
319
00:14:04,579 --> 00:14:05,513
See, the thing is I...
320
00:14:05,579 --> 00:14:06,846
Oh, hey, Charlie.
321
00:14:06,913 --> 00:14:09,146
Hi, Myra.
322
00:14:09,213 --> 00:14:10,547
No. No.
I forbid it.
323
00:14:10,612 --> 00:14:12,013
Not in my house.
324
00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:15,612
What brings you
to the cul-de-sac of the damned?
325
00:14:16,225 --> 00:14:17,612
Just in the neighborhood.
326
00:14:17,679 --> 00:14:18,813
That's nice.
327
00:14:18,879 --> 00:14:19,846
Come on in.
328
00:14:20,452 --> 00:14:22,088
Thanks.
329
00:14:23,046 --> 00:14:25,979
I said no! Doesn't anybody
listen to me?!
330
00:14:26,046 --> 00:14:27,413
I'm doing
it! Look!
331
00:14:30,779 --> 00:14:34,313
You know, I really didn't
expect to see you again.
332
00:14:34,812 --> 00:14:36,579
Well, I wasn't
doing anything, so...
333
00:14:36,646 --> 00:14:37,846
MYRA:
No, Alan, listen to me.
334
00:14:37,913 --> 00:14:40,213
He's here right now!
335
00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:42,313
Why would I kid
about that?
336
00:14:42,380 --> 00:14:45,146
I don't know, maybe his
other date didn't work out.
337
00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:51,879
Ah, the plot thickens.
338
00:14:51,946 --> 00:14:54,280
Okay, okay, I can explain.
339
00:14:55,646 --> 00:14:57,746
No, I can't.
340
00:14:57,813 --> 00:14:59,712
Give it a shot.
341
00:15:00,398 --> 00:15:02,436
Well, um...
342
00:15:02,447 --> 00:15:05,612
I was with this girl,
and I suddenly realized
343
00:15:05,679 --> 00:15:08,146
that I'd rather be with
someone who I, you know,
344
00:15:08,213 --> 00:15:10,180
actually enjoy being with.
345
00:15:10,575 --> 00:15:12,547
Oh just forget it, Alan;
you're useless.
346
00:15:13,088 --> 00:15:14,781
Herb, do something!
347
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:16,246
Hey.
348
00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:20,080
I'm thinking about
going out for ice cream.
349
00:15:20,146 --> 00:15:21,779
Anyone want
to join me?
350
00:15:21,846 --> 00:15:25,746
Charlie, when's the last time
you had a cone with sprinkles?
351
00:15:26,655 --> 00:15:28,113
You know what, Herb?
Judith can relax.
352
00:15:28,180 --> 00:15:29,499
I'm gonna check into a hotel.
353
00:15:29,603 --> 00:15:30,367
Myra, no.
354
00:15:30,367 --> 00:15:31,762
You don't have to do that.
355
00:15:31,837 --> 00:15:33,064
Yes, she does.
356
00:15:33,985 --> 00:15:35,183
Hey, she's my sister!
357
00:15:35,184 --> 00:15:36,818
She can stay as
long as she wants!
358
00:15:37,694 --> 00:15:39,048
I really appreciate this.
359
00:15:39,048 --> 00:15:40,891
I'll go get my stuff.
360
00:15:40,891 --> 00:15:42,224
Hey, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.
361
00:15:42,251 --> 00:15:43,518
You don't have
to stay at a hotel.
362
00:15:43,584 --> 00:15:44,951
I got plenty of
room at my place.
363
00:15:44,951 --> 00:15:46,217
Yeah, I'll bet you do.
364
00:15:46,284 --> 00:15:47,851
N-N-No, no, no, no.
365
00:15:47,918 --> 00:15:49,317
No strings attached.
366
00:15:49,833 --> 00:15:50,518
Really?
367
00:15:50,534 --> 00:15:51,278
Really.
368
00:15:53,074 --> 00:15:54,951
Still, I couldn't
impose like that.
369
00:15:55,018 --> 00:15:56,085
It's no imposition.
370
00:15:56,152 --> 00:15:57,251
It's a big house.
371
00:15:57,317 --> 00:15:58,617
There's plenty of room
for everybody.
372
00:15:58,618 --> 00:15:59,914
You sure?
373
00:15:59,914 --> 00:16:01,205
Absolutely.
374
00:16:01,317 --> 00:16:02,832
Okay, then.
375
00:16:02,842 --> 00:16:03,851
I'll be right back.
376
00:16:04,602 --> 00:16:05,844
JUDITH:
Herb!
377
00:16:07,551 --> 00:16:08,885
You want to come, too?
378
00:16:12,251 --> 00:16:13,718
Are you nuts?
379
00:16:13,785 --> 00:16:16,152
With Myra out of the house,
I might get lucky tonight.
380
00:16:17,666 --> 00:16:18,311
Really?
381
00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:19,617
She seems pretty angry.
382
00:16:19,618 --> 00:16:21,651
It's better when she's angry.
383
00:16:23,251 --> 00:16:25,418
Coming, pookie!
384
00:16:33,484 --> 00:16:35,217
This just sucks.
385
00:16:35,974 --> 00:16:38,284
It's just for a couple of
days till the wedding.
386
00:16:38,351 --> 00:16:40,618
Yeah, but why does she
have to stay in my room?
387
00:16:40,685 --> 00:16:42,384
Because... I don't know.
388
00:16:42,451 --> 00:16:44,085
You're the kid.
389
00:16:44,152 --> 00:16:46,018
Yeah, well, it's not fair.
390
00:16:46,085 --> 00:16:47,818
Yeah, well, get over it.
391
00:16:51,152 --> 00:16:53,317
Oh, my God!
392
00:16:53,384 --> 00:16:54,718
Jake, that's disgusting.
393
00:16:54,785 --> 00:16:56,685
Yeah, well, get over it.
394
00:16:59,317 --> 00:17:00,718
Go to sleep.
395
00:17:04,751 --> 00:17:06,351
Did you brush
your teeth?
396
00:17:06,870 --> 00:17:09,018
Dad, I'm asleep.
397
00:17:09,285 --> 00:17:10,918
Go brush your teeth.
398
00:17:10,985 --> 00:17:12,851
I can't; I don't have
my toothbrush.
399
00:17:12,918 --> 00:17:14,152
Well, go get it.
400
00:17:14,748 --> 00:17:15,451
Man!
401
00:17:15,518 --> 00:17:18,217
I have to do everything
around here.
402
00:17:28,018 --> 00:17:29,484
Aunt Myra?
403
00:17:29,551 --> 00:17:31,751
I have to get my toothbrush.
404
00:17:33,085 --> 00:17:34,618
Aunt Myra?
405
00:17:44,085 --> 00:17:45,851
Aunt Myra?
406
00:17:50,018 --> 00:17:52,384
Huh.
407
00:17:56,540 --> 00:17:57,570
Oh.
408
00:17:57,618 --> 00:17:59,418
Huh.
409
00:18:00,785 --> 00:18:01,718
Hi.
410
00:18:01,785 --> 00:18:03,284
Hi.
411
00:18:05,460 --> 00:18:06,052
Is everything okay?
412
00:18:06,118 --> 00:18:07,418
Everything's fine.
413
00:18:07,484 --> 00:18:09,184
I just wanted to chat.
414
00:18:09,958 --> 00:18:11,851
Oh. Okay.
415
00:18:11,918 --> 00:18:14,085
I can go if you want.
No, no. No.
416
00:18:14,152 --> 00:18:15,384
No, this is fine.
417
00:18:15,451 --> 00:18:16,785
So...
418
00:18:17,843 --> 00:18:18,775
What's up?
419
00:18:18,775 --> 00:18:21,384
Well, we never really talked
about that kiss last night.
420
00:18:21,451 --> 00:18:23,317
Right, right.
421
00:18:24,051 --> 00:18:25,418
That was a little
out of character for me.
422
00:18:25,959 --> 00:18:28,718
Really? That's not
the word on the street.
423
00:18:30,518 --> 00:18:32,785
Okay, let me explain. Um...
424
00:18:32,851 --> 00:18:35,785
With me, kissing is usually
just a prelude to sex,
425
00:18:35,851 --> 00:18:38,818
but last night, sex was
the last thing on my mind.
426
00:18:38,885 --> 00:18:41,818
Oh, gee, what girl doesn't
like to hear that?
427
00:18:42,290 --> 00:18:44,253
No, no. No, wait, let me finish.
428
00:18:46,118 --> 00:18:48,751
I kissed you
because I really liked you,
429
00:18:48,818 --> 00:18:53,251
and I wanted to express
my... liking of you.
430
00:18:53,317 --> 00:18:55,052
Be still, my
beating heart.
431
00:18:55,730 --> 00:18:57,052
Oh, come on, Myra.
432
00:18:57,118 --> 00:18:59,384
I drove all the way
to Judith's house to see you.
433
00:18:59,451 --> 00:19:00,951
And you know what's at Judith's
house?
434
00:19:01,018 --> 00:19:02,261
Judith!
435
00:19:03,368 --> 00:19:05,235
That was very
brave of you.
436
00:19:05,302 --> 00:19:07,035
Oh, no, it wasn't
brave, it was...
437
00:19:09,035 --> 00:19:11,302
To tell you the truth,
I don't know what it was,
438
00:19:11,368 --> 00:19:14,235
and I'm not really sure
what to do here.
439
00:19:14,302 --> 00:19:16,201
What do you
want to do here?
440
00:19:17,163 --> 00:19:19,207
Let's forget about me
for a second.
441
00:19:19,207 --> 00:19:19,995
??????????
442
00:19:20,201 --> 00:19:21,021
What about me?
443
00:19:21,235 --> 00:19:23,001
You kissed first.
444
00:19:23,068 --> 00:19:24,068
Why'd you do that?
445
00:19:24,135 --> 00:19:25,524
Oh, I was plowed.
446
00:19:27,353 --> 00:19:27,996
Really?
447
00:19:28,556 --> 00:19:30,001
Oh, come on, you moron.
448
00:19:30,068 --> 00:19:31,701
I'm sitting in the
middle of your bed
449
00:19:31,768 --> 00:19:33,622
in my sexiest lingerie.
450
00:19:35,434 --> 00:19:37,068
All right.
451
00:19:37,135 --> 00:19:39,402
I'm pretty sure
I know what to do now.
452
00:19:42,801 --> 00:19:44,134
Charlie?
453
00:19:44,135 --> 00:19:44,958
Yeah?
454
00:19:45,634 --> 00:19:48,501
I don't want to put any
pressure on you, but...
455
00:19:49,256 --> 00:19:50,653
I'm a virgin.
456
00:19:53,467 --> 00:19:54,415
You are?
457
00:19:56,132 --> 00:19:59,302
Man, you got to stop
sleeping with dumb girls.
458
00:19:59,368 --> 00:20:00,709
It's rubbing off on you.
459
00:20:03,395 --> 00:20:05,062
bed?
460
00:20:05,129 --> 00:20:06,678
Aunt Myra's not there.
461
00:20:06,795 --> 00:20:07,967
I'm sure she will be.
462
00:20:08,395 --> 00:20:10,084
She's probably just getting
something in the kitchen.
463
00:20:18,601 --> 00:20:20,674
That's not the kitchen.
464
00:20:20,729 --> 00:20:20,728
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