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1
00:00:24,625 --> 00:00:26,890
I have summoned
you all here tonight...
2
00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:31,022
on the stroke of midnight
for this annual Munster ritual.
3
00:00:31,498 --> 00:00:36,095
A ceremony which has been a
tradition in our family for over 100 years.
4
00:00:36,403 --> 00:00:38,395
This is a very solemn occasion.
5
00:00:38,472 --> 00:00:41,499
And it's all going to be decided
in the democratic manner.
6
00:00:41,575 --> 00:00:44,170
The fair, decent,
honest American way.
7
00:00:44,578 --> 00:00:46,843
Now, I want you
all to remember...
8
00:00:47,581 --> 00:00:49,209
no hard feelings.
9
00:00:50,684 --> 00:00:54,519
Whatever the results, we're
gonna abide with them...
10
00:00:54,588 --> 00:00:57,581
with good humor
and sportsmanship.
11
00:01:10,337 --> 00:01:13,796
One vote that we spend
our vacation at the beach.
12
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:16,907
Another vote for the beach.
13
00:01:20,013 --> 00:01:21,811
Another vote for the beach.
14
00:01:27,321 --> 00:01:29,620
And another vote for the beach.
15
00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:33,690
There's still one
more, Uncle Herman.
16
00:01:34,127 --> 00:01:36,653
I'm not going to
read it. And why not?
17
00:01:37,497 --> 00:01:38,988
Because it's my vote...
18
00:01:40,334 --> 00:01:42,599
and I voted to go
to Buffalo Valley.
19
00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:46,999
And if I can't go to Buffalo
Valley, I don't want to go anywhere.
20
00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:51,070
And another thing,
I demand a recount.
21
00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:54,241
Because I say that
this election was fixed.
22
00:01:54,748 --> 00:01:58,515
It's just not fair, and it's nothing
but a case of crooked politics.
23
00:01:58,585 --> 00:02:01,350
I've been robbed.
24
00:02:06,159 --> 00:02:07,159
Well...
25
00:02:08,428 --> 00:02:11,990
now that our annual
democratic election is over with...
26
00:02:12,766 --> 00:02:16,100
I hope we all enjoy
Buffalo Valley.
27
00:02:19,439 --> 00:02:23,240
I'm sure we're all going
to enjoy it, as usual.
28
00:02:25,379 --> 00:02:28,247
I'm afraid I'm not going to be
able to make it, Uncle Herman.
29
00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:30,216
I have tests at school...
30
00:02:30,283 --> 00:02:33,253
and besides, everyone
knows that Buffalo Valley...
31
00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:35,846
is definitely no
place to meet boys.
32
00:02:36,356 --> 00:02:41,317
Perhaps your dear uncle is hoping
you'll meet some rich, handsome buffalo.
33
00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:52,859
Here we are, Mom. Number 10.
34
00:03:54,134 --> 00:03:55,329
Herman...
35
00:03:56,369 --> 00:04:00,272
do you mean you just got an
upper and a lower for the four of us?
36
00:04:00,373 --> 00:04:04,003
That's right, dear. You see,
that way I got the excursion rate.
37
00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:06,410
For goodness sakes.
38
00:04:07,314 --> 00:04:09,545
We'll simply have to double up.
39
00:04:09,616 --> 00:04:11,676
You and Grandpa
can have the upper.
40
00:04:13,386 --> 00:04:15,617
But, Lily... No arguments.
41
00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:19,217
Do you want to spoil this
miserable trip before it's begun?
42
00:04:19,626 --> 00:04:22,721
Now, Eddie, you run
along and get ready for bed.
43
00:04:22,796 --> 00:04:24,890
Don't forget to
brush your fangs.
44
00:04:42,249 --> 00:04:46,448
Will it be all right with
you if I go first? Certainly.
45
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:15,373
Will you be a little
careful, Herman?
46
00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:20,319
I'm sorry.
47
00:05:30,430 --> 00:05:31,693
Darn!
48
00:05:38,471 --> 00:05:40,497
I guess I'll just have
to jump up there.
49
00:05:52,118 --> 00:05:54,678
Grandpa, help! Help!
50
00:05:55,655 --> 00:05:56,782
Oh, boy.
51
00:05:59,292 --> 00:06:02,353
Grandpa, quick, we're
coming to a tunnel!
52
00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:06,056
Hold still a minute.
53
00:06:07,601 --> 00:06:10,935
Okay, Herman, now. Think small.
54
00:06:20,313 --> 00:06:23,545
Thank you, Grandpa.
Don't mention it.
55
00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:27,184
You know, Herman...
56
00:06:27,254 --> 00:06:29,917
I wonder if I should have
stopped off at the freight yards...
57
00:06:29,990 --> 00:06:33,324
and bought a livestock permit
before we boarded the train.
58
00:06:33,460 --> 00:06:35,292
Why do you wonder that?
59
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:38,627
Because I've never traveled
with a jackass before.
60
00:06:49,042 --> 00:06:52,911
Now, let me see. I've
forgotten which one it is.
61
00:06:54,381 --> 00:06:57,283
"The two men looked
up in quivering horror."
62
00:06:57,550 --> 00:06:59,451
It's along here somewhere.
63
00:06:59,519 --> 00:07:01,715
"Suddenly from
behind the curtain...
64
00:07:01,788 --> 00:07:05,350
"appeared the ghostlike figure
of the dear dead Lady Madeline...
65
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:08,827
"still wearing the shroud,
in which she'd been buried."
66
00:07:09,863 --> 00:07:11,525
I think this is it.
67
00:07:21,841 --> 00:07:24,003
Whoops, wrong berth.
68
00:07:24,978 --> 00:07:28,938
Poor man must have suddenly
realized he'd passed his station.
69
00:07:33,386 --> 00:07:35,287
Herman, will you settle down?
70
00:07:39,092 --> 00:07:41,960
You almost killed me
getting undressed in here.
71
00:07:42,028 --> 00:07:43,963
Knock it off, Grandpa.
72
00:07:45,165 --> 00:07:48,431
And will you get your foot
out of the pocket of my nightie?
73
00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:53,899
Boy, the last time I tried to
sleep in a place this small...
74
00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:56,443
some guy shoveled
dirt in my face.
75
00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:06,553
Herman, what's the matter
now? I need a drink of water.
76
00:08:26,973 --> 00:08:28,498
Shuckie!
77
00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:32,210
No water. I'm dying of thirst.
78
00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:37,048
If I knew who used up the water,
I'd kill them, that's what I'd do.
79
00:08:37,117 --> 00:08:40,246
I'd kill them. I'd kill
them. I'd kill them.
80
00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:42,414
I'd kill them. I'd kill them.
81
00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:49,661
I'd kill them! I'd kill them!
82
00:09:01,641 --> 00:09:05,271
Herman, what's going
on? I don't know, dear.
83
00:09:05,345 --> 00:09:08,713
I didn't realize that many people
were nervous about riding on trains.
84
00:09:21,428 --> 00:09:24,330
It was real neat, Mom, while we
were getting dressed this morning...
85
00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:27,799
somebody folded up
all the beds. Yes, dear.
86
00:09:29,536 --> 00:09:31,664
But why did they bring
our breakfast in here...
87
00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:35,641
instead of letting us go to
the dining car? I don't know.
88
00:09:35,842 --> 00:09:38,539
They said something
about all the passengers...
89
00:09:38,611 --> 00:09:40,170
getting together last night...
90
00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:43,808
and insisting that we have
this car all to ourselves.
91
00:09:44,484 --> 00:09:47,545
I must say, it was very
considerate of them.
92
00:09:48,388 --> 00:09:53,088
Please, dear, I'm trying to read this
fascinating historical data to my son.
93
00:09:53,827 --> 00:09:55,591
"On the way to Buffalo Valley...
94
00:09:55,662 --> 00:09:59,155
"our streamliner carries us
through miles of barren desert...
95
00:09:59,232 --> 00:10:02,100
"the heart of the
Owagi Indian Country."
96
00:10:02,168 --> 00:10:05,969
"Although civilization continues
to infringe on this territory...
97
00:10:06,039 --> 00:10:08,201
"legend has it,
there still may be...
98
00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:11,403
"one or two lost Indian
tribes living in the desert."
99
00:10:12,979 --> 00:10:15,073
My, isn't this interesting?
100
00:10:15,415 --> 00:10:17,111
Sure, Pop, if you say so.
101
00:10:22,722 --> 00:10:26,090
"Anthropologists tell us the
sociological implications...
102
00:10:26,159 --> 00:10:30,221
"of various artifacts found in
this region are far-reaching."
103
00:10:31,030 --> 00:10:33,124
What do you think
of that, Eddie?
104
00:10:40,406 --> 00:10:42,705
Train must be stopping
for mail or something.
105
00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:49,116
Might as well get off and get a
magazine while we're waiting.
106
00:11:09,769 --> 00:11:12,671
No newsstand here. I guess
it must be around the back.
107
00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:24,579
That's funny, there's no
newsstand here, either.
108
00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:30,515
I guess I'll just have to
sit down and read my...
109
00:11:30,590 --> 00:11:32,616
fascinating travel booklet.
110
00:11:41,801 --> 00:11:43,963
"The warm desert sun...
111
00:11:44,837 --> 00:11:48,296
"coupled with the vast
expanse of wasteland...
112
00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:51,200
"made this area one
of unending monotony...
113
00:11:51,277 --> 00:11:53,542
"for the early
prospectors and settlers.
114
00:11:55,281 --> 00:11:57,841
"They were often lulled
into a hypnotic trance...
115
00:11:57,917 --> 00:12:00,751
"which no sight or
sound could penetrate."
116
00:12:26,212 --> 00:12:27,271
Lily.
117
00:12:27,814 --> 00:12:28,814
Lily.
118
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,736
Darn!
119
00:12:50,703 --> 00:12:54,606
The minute a fellow's back is turned,
that sneaky old train disappears.
120
00:12:56,576 --> 00:12:59,637
I think that's pretty
inconsiderate, don't you?
121
00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:03,481
All right, don't answer
me, you old sorehead.
122
00:13:05,151 --> 00:13:07,382
I'll bet you used
to give sour milk.
123
00:13:12,592 --> 00:13:14,390
"Village, 6 miles."
124
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:18,359
Well, I guess I
better head for it.
125
00:13:19,098 --> 00:13:22,068
That's what they always used
to do on Death Valley Days.
126
00:13:48,227 --> 00:13:50,856
White man speak
with forked tongue.
127
00:13:51,364 --> 00:13:53,856
Warriors attack wagon train.
128
00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:56,392
Bring back many scalp.
129
00:13:58,404 --> 00:13:59,404
Ah...
130
00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:08,110
Look, I told you
20 times, Manikoo.
131
00:14:08,548 --> 00:14:10,608
I can't do those cornball lines.
132
00:14:11,317 --> 00:14:13,946
I feel like a schnook
beating that crummy drum.
133
00:14:14,053 --> 00:14:17,455
Look, Wonga, I don't
dig the bit, either...
134
00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:19,788
but it's what the
tourists expect.
135
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:23,091
We don't put on a good show, they're
not gonna come down here weekends...
136
00:14:23,162 --> 00:14:25,563
to spend their big heap
wampum. But, Manny, we've been...
137
00:14:25,631 --> 00:14:27,190
Let's face it, man...
138
00:14:27,266 --> 00:14:30,896
the whole tribe's going broke
with this kooky Indian village gig.
139
00:14:31,337 --> 00:14:35,035
We ain't even making the profit we used
to on the tomahawks and the blankets.
140
00:14:35,141 --> 00:14:38,236
Yeah, the Japanese
wholesaler raised the price.
141
00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:42,174
I know. The only answer
is to pep up the show.
142
00:14:42,482 --> 00:14:45,975
Knock out the rain-dance number
and put back the wagon train finish.
143
00:14:46,052 --> 00:14:47,281
Let's go.
144
00:14:47,353 --> 00:14:48,946
Powatuma speaks.
145
00:14:49,756 --> 00:14:53,284
Our tribe came here
many moons ago.
146
00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:57,289
We hunt buffalo,
we plant corn...
147
00:14:58,197 --> 00:14:59,825
we prosper.
148
00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:02,962
Yeah, Chief, that
was a long time ago.
149
00:15:03,035 --> 00:15:06,699
The only thing we've got going
for us now is tourists and Medicare.
150
00:15:07,707 --> 00:15:11,974
Ancient legend says,
prosperity returns to tribe...
151
00:15:12,345 --> 00:15:17,283
when Mighty Spirit
Wanitoba returns from desert.
152
00:15:17,650 --> 00:15:21,143
Guy Chief, that
legend's 200 years old.
153
00:15:21,554 --> 00:15:24,854
You don't really think there ever
was a Mighty Spirit Wanitoba?
154
00:15:24,957 --> 00:15:28,860
My great-grandfather
saw Spirit in vision.
155
00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:33,456
Carve face on totem pole.
156
00:15:38,137 --> 00:15:41,835
One day, great
God of Wanitoba...
157
00:15:42,341 --> 00:15:44,333
will return from desert.
158
00:15:54,587 --> 00:15:56,453
Grandpa, I'm so worried.
159
00:15:56,756 --> 00:15:59,692
You mean to say you and the
conductor searched the whole train...
160
00:15:59,759 --> 00:16:02,058
and Herman is not
on board? That's right.
161
00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:04,290
But I just found
another conductor...
162
00:16:04,363 --> 00:16:07,527
who said he saw someone
answering Herman's description...
163
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:09,796
get off at Indian Flats.
164
00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:14,039
But that was two hours ago.
Why didn't he say something then?
165
00:16:14,106 --> 00:16:18,373
He said he just got up enough
courage to come out of the broom closet.
166
00:16:19,212 --> 00:16:21,078
I wonder what he meant by that.
167
00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:25,107
Anyway, we'll get to
Buffalo Valley in 10 minutes.
168
00:16:25,184 --> 00:16:27,517
We'll just get the next
train back to Indian Flats...
169
00:16:27,587 --> 00:16:29,818
and we'll start
looking for him there.
170
00:16:30,022 --> 00:16:33,584
Grandpa, what are we gonna
do if Pop's disappeared for good...
171
00:16:33,659 --> 00:16:35,355
and we never find him at all?
172
00:16:35,428 --> 00:16:36,953
What are we gonna do?
173
00:16:37,296 --> 00:16:39,629
We'll just send in
his return trip ticket...
174
00:16:39,699 --> 00:16:42,726
for a cash refund, that's
what we're gonna do.
175
00:17:02,922 --> 00:17:06,689
Must be one of those lost
Indian tribes I was reading about.
176
00:17:07,627 --> 00:17:09,789
Just hope it's not a mirage.
177
00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:27,241
I guess nobody's home.
178
00:17:28,614 --> 00:17:30,640
Wonder if this
place is deserted.
179
00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:42,851
Holy mackerel. There,
Wonga, what is it?
180
00:17:44,797 --> 00:17:46,265
You got me, Manny.
181
00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:50,897
But he's a dead ringer for
the top man on the totem pole.
182
00:17:51,470 --> 00:17:53,132
Legend come true.
183
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:58,340
Mighty Spirit
Wanitoba, return to tribe.
184
00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:11,254
Ancient prophecy fulfilled.
185
00:18:12,258 --> 00:18:17,026
We greet Wanitoba as
the morning greets the sun.
186
00:18:22,301 --> 00:18:23,301
Huh.
187
00:18:30,309 --> 00:18:34,713
Lily, here's where Herman
got off, and there goes our train.
188
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:38,542
What do we do now?
189
00:18:39,418 --> 00:18:41,944
Eddie! Here I am, Mom.
190
00:18:46,993 --> 00:18:48,723
"Village, 6 miles."
191
00:18:49,095 --> 00:18:51,894
Do you think he could
have started out for there?
192
00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:54,794
Hey, Mom, Pop did come this way.
193
00:18:54,867 --> 00:18:57,166
Here's this crummy travel
folder he was reading.
194
00:18:57,236 --> 00:18:59,034
Eddie, you're right.
195
00:18:59,338 --> 00:19:01,000
Come along, Grandpa.
196
00:19:01,207 --> 00:19:03,267
Neither blinding sun...
197
00:19:03,376 --> 00:19:07,939
nor burning desert sands shall
keep us from the swift pursuit...
198
00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:09,873
of our beloved Herman.
199
00:19:10,916 --> 00:19:12,009
March.
200
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:17,351
Boy, things aren't crazy
enough on this trip...
201
00:19:17,423 --> 00:19:20,552
your mother has to go and do
a commercial for the post office.
202
00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:26,929
But you know that guy
who walked in here...
203
00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:29,969
may get this tribe a
little prosperity after all.
204
00:19:30,569 --> 00:19:32,663
The rest of the legend says...
205
00:19:32,738 --> 00:19:36,038
that if great God Wanitoba
marry Indian maiden...
206
00:19:36,108 --> 00:19:39,977
then crops grow, wampum
flow, everything is cool, daddy.
207
00:19:42,214 --> 00:19:45,048
Old green-in-the face marry
one of our Indian chicks?
208
00:19:45,117 --> 00:19:47,086
The Chief is arranging it now.
209
00:19:47,153 --> 00:19:50,055
It won't be legal or anything, but
it'll make old Powatuma happy...
210
00:19:50,122 --> 00:19:53,092
and beginning next
week, if it's a hit...
211
00:19:53,159 --> 00:19:55,651
we can stage the ceremony
three or four times a day.
212
00:19:55,728 --> 00:19:58,562
That'll bring the tourist
trade back with a bang.
213
00:19:59,265 --> 00:20:02,599
But will nausea-puss go
along with it? Are you kidding?
214
00:20:02,868 --> 00:20:05,360
When I told him the set-up,
you know what he said?
215
00:20:05,438 --> 00:20:09,273
"Gee, I always wanted to be
in the show biz. Ho, ho, ho."
216
00:20:11,510 --> 00:20:13,172
He may look like
Totem Pole Charlie...
217
00:20:13,245 --> 00:20:16,181
but underneath it all,
he's strictly Rotary Club.
218
00:20:29,361 --> 00:20:33,025
I think just a little bit more eye
shadow and we've got it made.
219
00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:38,830
Say, I took a
peek at my fiancée.
220
00:20:39,004 --> 00:20:41,701
I think this is gonna
be a real fun thing.
221
00:20:55,187 --> 00:20:57,656
Hey, Mom, I think
I see a village.
222
00:20:57,723 --> 00:20:59,282
There's tents and stuff.
223
00:20:59,792 --> 00:21:01,226
I hope so.
224
00:21:01,293 --> 00:21:05,754
Boy, this reminds me of the good old
days in the Transylvanian Foreign Legion.
225
00:21:06,165 --> 00:21:07,963
Just keep remembering...
226
00:21:08,033 --> 00:21:10,696
that whatever Herman's
doing, and wherever he is...
227
00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:12,898
he' s thinking of
his little family.
228
00:21:20,146 --> 00:21:21,146
Hmm.
229
00:21:30,523 --> 00:21:33,687
Hey, Mom, that's Pop.
He's playing Indian.
230
00:21:34,927 --> 00:21:38,989
I'll say. And look who
he's playing Indian with.
231
00:21:49,909 --> 00:21:51,468
Friends of the groom.
232
00:22:00,085 --> 00:22:02,919
That goofball is
really getting married.
233
00:22:08,394 --> 00:22:10,226
Oh, you're darn right.
234
00:22:21,340 --> 00:22:22,638
Lily!
235
00:22:22,708 --> 00:22:25,405
You can bet your
chicken feathers, it's Lily.
236
00:22:28,247 --> 00:22:30,546
All right, Chief
Glint-In-The-Eye...
237
00:22:30,616 --> 00:22:32,949
we're taking the
next train home.
238
00:22:33,285 --> 00:22:35,811
But, Lily... Don't
"but Lily" me.
239
00:22:41,627 --> 00:22:43,095
Lily. Lily.
240
00:22:43,162 --> 00:22:45,256
Let's go, Eddie, before
your mother forgets...
241
00:22:45,331 --> 00:22:48,699
she's a lady and tomahawks
him into the happy hunting ground.
242
00:22:51,503 --> 00:22:54,667
Well, there goes
the old ball game.
243
00:22:55,174 --> 00:22:57,837
Yeah, but you know, Manny...
244
00:22:58,644 --> 00:23:01,478
I kind of feel sorry
for Chief Powatuma.
245
00:23:02,481 --> 00:23:05,713
He really believed that
old Indian legend. Yeah.
246
00:23:06,819 --> 00:23:10,654
Look at him over there, pouring
his heart out to the ancient Gods.
247
00:23:10,756 --> 00:23:12,384
Wanitoba...
248
00:23:12,958 --> 00:23:15,985
you are mighty, you are wise...
249
00:23:16,695 --> 00:23:19,187
but tell an old man one thing...
250
00:23:19,498 --> 00:23:23,492
why you send me
cockamamie Indian?
251
00:23:35,114 --> 00:23:38,812
But, Uncle Herman, how could
they talk you into getting married?
252
00:23:38,884 --> 00:23:42,719
I don't know. Those
nice Indian fellows said...
253
00:23:42,788 --> 00:23:46,520
I'd help bring prosperity to the tribe
and they made a big fuss over me.
254
00:23:46,592 --> 00:23:48,026
Heck...
255
00:23:48,093 --> 00:23:51,029
for the first time in my
life, I felt really important.
256
00:23:51,096 --> 00:23:52,155
Important?
257
00:23:52,231 --> 00:23:55,599
So when those nice Indian fellows
presented me with a headdress...
258
00:23:55,668 --> 00:23:57,933
and all that groovy war
paint and everything...
259
00:23:58,003 --> 00:24:00,802
gee, I felt like
a big movie star.
260
00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:04,772
Like Jack Lemmon,
or Sal Mineo even.
261
00:24:06,211 --> 00:24:08,009
I guess that's why I did it.
262
00:24:09,415 --> 00:24:12,317
You know something,
Herman, that even gets me.
263
00:24:13,652 --> 00:24:15,018
Hermie...
264
00:24:15,688 --> 00:24:18,157
I didn't know that
you felt that way.
265
00:24:18,223 --> 00:24:22,092
And I want to apologize
right now for misjudging you.
266
00:24:22,528 --> 00:24:26,761
I know you didn't really
care about that Indian girl.
267
00:24:27,166 --> 00:24:30,603
Why, certainly not,
dear. Why would I?
268
00:24:31,503 --> 00:24:34,405
I mean, I've got a real
going squaw like you at home.
269
00:24:37,910 --> 00:24:41,039
Can I ask you something,
dear? Anything, dear.
270
00:24:45,184 --> 00:24:46,982
You want to Indian wrestle?
21630
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