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1
00:00:38,102 --> 00:00:39,235
What the-
2
00:00:40,905 --> 00:00:42,071
Doug, wake up.
3
00:00:42,072 --> 00:00:43,607
Mm.
4
00:00:43,608 --> 00:00:45,575
Doug, wake up. Something's
going on. Mm. Mm.
5
00:00:45,576 --> 00:00:46,777
Wake up.
6
00:00:46,778 --> 00:00:47,778
Honey.
Mm.
7
00:00:47,779 --> 00:00:49,680
Wake- Doug.
8
00:00:49,681 --> 00:00:51,181
Doug, stop!
9
00:00:53,250 --> 00:00:55,118
There's red flashing
lights outside.
10
00:00:55,119 --> 00:00:56,553
It's probably
a dance party.
11
00:00:57,888 --> 00:00:59,923
Go back to sleep.
No.
12
00:01:01,526 --> 00:01:04,528
No, there's an ambulance
across the street.
13
00:01:04,529 --> 00:01:06,179
Some of the neighbors
are coming out.
14
00:01:06,180 --> 00:01:07,731
Oh, I see the Ferrignos.
15
00:01:07,732 --> 00:01:09,700
Come on. Let's go see
what's going on.
16
00:01:09,701 --> 00:01:12,369
All right. You go.
I'll guard the bedroom.
17
00:01:12,370 --> 00:01:15,605
You want to send
your wife outside alone
18
00:01:15,606 --> 00:01:16,906
at 3:00 in the morning?
19
00:01:16,907 --> 00:01:18,208
Okay. You've got
an ambulance
20
00:01:18,209 --> 00:01:19,742
and the Incredible Hulk
out there.
21
00:01:19,743 --> 00:01:20,910
I think you'll be okay.
22
00:01:20,911 --> 00:01:23,696
Come on. Come on!
Stop it.
23
00:01:31,038 --> 00:01:32,606
Hey, Lou.
24
00:01:32,607 --> 00:01:34,474
Hey, guys.
25
00:01:34,475 --> 00:01:35,492
What's going on?
26
00:01:35,493 --> 00:01:36,810
Paul died.
27
00:01:36,811 --> 00:01:38,195
Oh, my God!
Paul died?
28
00:01:38,196 --> 00:01:39,679
That's terrible.
29
00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:42,065
Who was that again?
30
00:01:42,066 --> 00:01:44,868
He lived across
the street there.
31
00:01:44,869 --> 00:01:46,570
Oh. Was he the guy
that always walks
32
00:01:46,571 --> 00:01:48,372
up and down the block
barefoot?
33
00:01:48,373 --> 00:01:49,573
No, that's me.
34
00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:54,161
So, uh,
was it sudden?
35
00:01:54,162 --> 00:01:56,029
Not really. He'd been
sick for a while.
36
00:01:56,030 --> 00:01:57,414
You know what?
37
00:01:57,415 --> 00:01:59,816
I'm gonna put on some
coffee for everyone.
38
00:01:59,817 --> 00:02:01,417
All right, man.
Catch you later.
39
00:02:03,454 --> 00:02:04,921
"Catch you later?"
40
00:02:06,724 --> 00:02:09,092
A man just died.
41
00:02:09,093 --> 00:02:10,193
Hey, life goes on,
42
00:02:10,194 --> 00:02:12,396
and I'm still gonna
catch Lou later.
43
00:02:16,083 --> 00:02:17,651
All right, come on.
Let's go back in.
44
00:02:17,652 --> 00:02:20,103
What? No.
Why?
45
00:02:20,104 --> 00:02:22,072
We're not gonna be the first
neighbors to go in.
46
00:02:22,073 --> 00:02:23,206
It's tacky.
Hm.
47
00:02:24,759 --> 00:02:26,460
Sorry, but it's a little
nippy out here,
48
00:02:26,461 --> 00:02:28,462
if you know what I mean,
and I think that you do.
49
00:02:44,528 --> 00:02:46,362
Douglas. Is this
a good time
50
00:02:46,363 --> 00:02:48,731
to bring you up to speed
on my psoriasis?
51
00:02:52,369 --> 00:02:54,905
You know, I was hoping
you'd ask me that.
52
00:02:54,906 --> 00:02:56,356
It's a great time.
53
00:02:56,357 --> 00:02:58,475
Well, she's
headed south.
54
00:02:58,476 --> 00:03:01,244
What do you
suggest I do?
55
00:03:01,245 --> 00:03:03,280
Arthur,
I'm not a doctor.
56
00:03:03,281 --> 00:03:04,981
Tell me something
I don't know.
57
00:03:04,982 --> 00:03:06,650
A doctor.
That's rich.
58
00:03:06,651 --> 00:03:08,151
Okay. You know what?
59
00:03:08,152 --> 00:03:11,087
I'll give you $50
if you go back downstairs.
60
00:03:11,088 --> 00:03:12,255
If I want
your money,
61
00:03:12,256 --> 00:03:13,823
I'll take it while
you're sleeping.
62
00:03:13,824 --> 00:03:14,957
Just give me
the crossword.
63
00:03:16,628 --> 00:03:18,829
Hey, Dad.
How's it going?
64
00:03:18,830 --> 00:03:20,530
Not so good.
I may have to borrow
65
00:03:20,531 --> 00:03:22,298
one of
your knitting needles.
66
00:03:22,299 --> 00:03:24,568
Well, I don't know
what you need it for,
67
00:03:24,569 --> 00:03:26,369
but throw it out
when you're done.
68
00:03:28,739 --> 00:03:30,073
Good call on that one.
69
00:03:30,074 --> 00:03:32,308
Yeah. Listen. I had
a thought. No biggie.
70
00:03:32,309 --> 00:03:34,177
I just wanted
to run it by you.
71
00:03:34,178 --> 00:03:35,812
Let's buy
the dead guy's house.
72
00:03:38,049 --> 00:03:40,434
But I like this house.
73
00:03:40,435 --> 00:03:41,951
No. look. I don't
want us to move there.
74
00:03:41,952 --> 00:03:43,219
I want us to buy it
75
00:03:43,220 --> 00:03:44,854
before it goes
on the market,
76
00:03:44,855 --> 00:03:46,790
and then we sell it
real fast for a big profit.
77
00:03:46,791 --> 00:03:47,824
We flip it.
78
00:03:49,944 --> 00:03:51,711
We- I know nothing
about that stuff.
79
00:03:51,712 --> 00:03:54,414
Yeah, but I do. This is
how my boss got started.
80
00:03:54,415 --> 00:03:56,083
You think he just
fell into some big
81
00:03:56,084 --> 00:03:58,618
billion-dollar
real estate company?
82
00:03:58,619 --> 00:04:01,354
Well, actually, he did.
But his father...
83
00:04:01,355 --> 00:04:03,823
His father started
with just one house.
84
00:04:03,824 --> 00:04:05,092
Okay. So let him buy it.
85
00:04:05,093 --> 00:04:08,378
No, come on, listen.
I talked to Lou,
86
00:04:08,379 --> 00:04:10,130
and he said the guy's
only relative
87
00:04:10,131 --> 00:04:12,798
is some 80-year-old
Cousin Eloise who lives upstate.
88
00:04:12,799 --> 00:04:14,801
She doesn't know what houses
go for around here.
89
00:04:14,802 --> 00:04:16,436
We can get the house
for a steal.
90
00:04:16,437 --> 00:04:18,705
So you- Now you want to
take advantage of an old lady?
91
00:04:20,608 --> 00:04:22,342
And help her
to move on.
92
00:04:22,343 --> 00:04:23,559
I don't know.
93
00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:25,595
Something about this
just doesn't sound right.
94
00:04:25,596 --> 00:04:26,780
Doesn't sound right.
95
00:04:26,781 --> 00:04:28,898
How does "speedboat"
sound? That sound right?
96
00:04:34,438 --> 00:04:37,407
I'm listening.
Okay.
97
00:04:37,408 --> 00:04:39,492
Well, if we get this house,
we can have the money.
98
00:04:39,493 --> 00:04:41,578
You could finally
get your boat.
99
00:04:41,579 --> 00:04:43,647
Really? Could I name it
the Sara Lee?
100
00:04:44,782 --> 00:04:46,082
Doug-
101
00:04:46,083 --> 00:04:48,301
Look, Carrie's a nice name,
but not for a boat, okay?
102
00:04:48,302 --> 00:04:51,037
I mean, "Oh, if you really
loved me, you'd name it Carrie. "
103
00:04:51,038 --> 00:04:52,539
Well, I'm not gonna,
so get over it.
104
00:04:54,208 --> 00:04:55,808
Wow.
105
00:04:55,809 --> 00:04:59,612
Sorry. In my head I've
had this fight a lot.
106
00:05:06,404 --> 00:05:08,805
Hey, Arturo.
Is Doug home yet?
107
00:05:08,806 --> 00:05:11,241
Afraid not.
Oh. What's that for?
108
00:05:11,242 --> 00:05:12,442
I signed up
for a drug trial,
109
00:05:12,443 --> 00:05:14,711
but I can't seem to
read the small print.
110
00:05:14,712 --> 00:05:16,747
How sharp are
those beady eyes?
111
00:05:16,748 --> 00:05:18,648
20/20.
112
00:05:18,649 --> 00:05:21,952
Let's see. Oh. "Take
one pill each morning
113
00:05:21,953 --> 00:05:24,121
for a period
of 3 weeks. "
114
00:05:24,122 --> 00:05:26,256
Sounds simple enough.
Nope, hang on.
115
00:05:26,257 --> 00:05:28,274
"Some users may
experience nausea,
116
00:05:28,275 --> 00:05:30,443
dry mouth, cramping-"
117
00:05:30,444 --> 00:05:32,528
Hold on. They didn't say
anything about cramping
118
00:05:32,529 --> 00:05:33,913
in their adorable
cartoon ad.
119
00:05:33,914 --> 00:05:37,067
Well... most drugs
have side effects.
120
00:05:37,068 --> 00:05:40,170
I did a trial one time for
a peanut allergy medication.
121
00:05:40,171 --> 00:05:41,938
Oh, my God, my windpipe
closed up.
122
00:05:41,939 --> 00:05:44,074
They had to rush me
to the emergency room.
123
00:05:44,075 --> 00:05:46,409
They said if I'd gotten there
10 minutes later...
124
00:05:46,410 --> 00:05:48,028
I'd be dead.
125
00:05:48,029 --> 00:05:50,230
We're talking about me now. Oh, sorry.
126
00:05:50,231 --> 00:05:51,448
Um...
127
00:05:51,449 --> 00:05:53,650
I wish I could know for sure
about these side effects
128
00:05:53,651 --> 00:05:55,552
before I start
popping pills.
129
00:05:55,553 --> 00:05:57,204
What are you taking
them for anyway?
130
00:05:57,205 --> 00:05:59,555
Uh, psoriasis.
Way downtown.
131
00:05:59,556 --> 00:06:00,690
Oh, man.
132
00:06:02,926 --> 00:06:04,561
That's...
133
00:06:04,562 --> 00:06:06,196
That's rough.
Heh-heh.
134
00:06:06,197 --> 00:06:08,165
You know, I think my mom
has the same thing.
135
00:06:08,166 --> 00:06:11,501
Hmm. Is that so?
136
00:06:11,502 --> 00:06:13,403
You know, when Spence
said you wanted to see me,
137
00:06:13,404 --> 00:06:15,255
I was a little
surprised.
138
00:06:15,256 --> 00:06:18,625
You never invited me out
for coffee before.
139
00:06:18,626 --> 00:06:20,060
Better late
than never.
140
00:06:22,463 --> 00:06:23,746
No, no! This one
is yours.
141
00:06:23,747 --> 00:06:25,582
Oh.
142
00:06:25,583 --> 00:06:27,350
Apropos of nothing,
you're not allergic
143
00:06:27,351 --> 00:06:29,185
to potassium
benzoate, are you?
144
00:06:29,186 --> 00:06:31,454
I don't think so.
145
00:06:31,455 --> 00:06:32,838
Then bottoms up.
146
00:06:54,177 --> 00:06:55,977
Hey, guys.
Glad you could make it.
147
00:06:55,978 --> 00:06:57,612
Hey. Oh. Well, when you told me
148
00:06:57,613 --> 00:06:58,913
there was gonna
be a memorial
149
00:06:58,914 --> 00:07:00,615
right here
in this house,
150
00:07:00,616 --> 00:07:03,285
I told Doug, "We just
have to go. "
151
00:07:05,121 --> 00:07:06,788
Those were
her exact words.
152
00:07:08,925 --> 00:07:10,842
Oh, it's so sad to think
that he's not gonna sit
153
00:07:10,843 --> 00:07:13,512
in front of
this fireplace again.
154
00:07:13,513 --> 00:07:14,562
Does it work?
155
00:07:15,765 --> 00:07:17,015
I think so.
156
00:07:19,018 --> 00:07:20,819
A working
fireplace.
157
00:07:20,820 --> 00:07:22,320
You know how big
that is?
158
00:07:22,321 --> 00:07:23,487
Oh, my God.
159
00:07:23,488 --> 00:07:25,489
I think I feel
hardwood floors under here.
160
00:07:25,490 --> 00:07:26,474
Okay, okay.
You know what?
161
00:07:26,475 --> 00:07:28,476
You might want to bring down
the happy a little.
162
00:07:28,477 --> 00:07:30,562
Okay. All right.
163
00:07:30,563 --> 00:07:32,864
Ahem.
164
00:07:32,865 --> 00:07:34,265
Hello.
Oh.
165
00:07:34,266 --> 00:07:36,384
I'm Eloise.
Hi.
166
00:07:36,385 --> 00:07:39,220
Oh, hi. Doug and
Carrie Heffernan.
167
00:07:39,221 --> 00:07:41,740
Oh. Were you
friends of Paul?
168
00:07:43,943 --> 00:07:46,278
Yeah. We live
across the street.
169
00:07:46,279 --> 00:07:47,845
From Paul.
170
00:07:47,846 --> 00:07:50,882
So sorry
about your loss.
171
00:07:50,883 --> 00:07:52,183
Heffernan.
172
00:07:52,184 --> 00:07:55,319
Oh, you left
a lovely note.
173
00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:56,838
Thank you.
174
00:07:56,839 --> 00:07:58,489
No. Thank you
for having
175
00:07:58,490 --> 00:08:01,226
such a wonderful,
wonderful cousin.
176
00:08:01,227 --> 00:08:02,243
Yes.
177
00:08:02,244 --> 00:08:04,379
With a wonderful,
wonderful house.
178
00:08:05,848 --> 00:08:08,316
Ah. What's to become
of this house?
179
00:08:09,869 --> 00:08:11,819
Seriously, Eloise,
what's to become of it?
180
00:08:11,820 --> 00:08:12,870
Ahem.
181
00:08:12,871 --> 00:08:14,389
Pardon me?
182
00:08:14,390 --> 00:08:16,007
Well, I don't know
if you're gonna keep it,
183
00:08:16,008 --> 00:08:18,477
or, I don't know,
sell it?
184
00:08:18,478 --> 00:08:19,777
Whatever
you decide to do,
185
00:08:19,778 --> 00:08:21,779
we just want you to know
that we're here for you.
186
00:08:21,780 --> 00:08:22,997
Tsk.
187
00:08:22,998 --> 00:08:24,466
Although you may have
a little trouble
188
00:08:24,467 --> 00:08:25,767
unloading it
with that smell.
189
00:08:25,768 --> 00:08:27,769
Woo!
190
00:08:27,770 --> 00:08:30,372
Did he die
in this room or what?
191
00:08:30,373 --> 00:08:32,574
Rank.
192
00:08:36,645 --> 00:08:39,447
Thank you very much
for coming. Yeah. Yeah.
193
00:08:39,448 --> 00:08:40,798
Excuse me.
194
00:08:40,799 --> 00:08:41,733
Sure.
195
00:08:43,569 --> 00:08:46,004
What the hell
was that?
196
00:08:46,005 --> 00:08:48,306
What? I was trying to
help out. I was being bad cop.
197
00:08:48,307 --> 00:08:50,025
Bad cop? There's
no cop at all.
198
00:08:50,026 --> 00:08:51,309
Well, you gotta
tell me that stuff.
199
00:08:54,079 --> 00:08:55,346
Everyone,
200
00:08:55,347 --> 00:08:57,031
if I could
have your attention.
201
00:08:57,032 --> 00:08:59,200
I thought it would be nice
if we went around the room
202
00:08:59,201 --> 00:09:00,802
and shared
some memories of Paul.
203
00:09:02,638 --> 00:09:05,741
Bobby. Why don't
you begin?
204
00:09:05,742 --> 00:09:07,342
Sure, I'd-
I'd love to.
205
00:09:08,678 --> 00:09:11,312
The thing I remember
most about Paul is
206
00:09:11,313 --> 00:09:13,515
the way he always had
time for everybody.
207
00:09:13,516 --> 00:09:15,383
I mean, he showed
my son
208
00:09:15,384 --> 00:09:16,751
how to build
model airplanes,
209
00:09:16,752 --> 00:09:18,319
and he'd tell stories
210
00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:21,156
of how he flew
in World War II.
211
00:09:21,157 --> 00:09:23,541
I'd like to think he's
somewhere up there
212
00:09:23,542 --> 00:09:24,843
flying right now.
213
00:09:24,844 --> 00:09:26,377
Aw!
214
00:09:29,681 --> 00:09:31,650
Doug?
215
00:09:31,651 --> 00:09:32,934
Oh, we're going
counterclockwise?
216
00:09:34,737 --> 00:09:37,272
I- I think that's
bad luck. I really do.
217
00:09:37,273 --> 00:09:39,908
It's okay, Doug.
Go ahead.
218
00:09:39,909 --> 00:09:41,076
Okay.
219
00:09:41,077 --> 00:09:43,745
All right,
uh...
220
00:09:43,746 --> 00:09:44,679
Paul.
221
00:09:46,381 --> 00:09:49,718
Paul. What can I say
about my man Paul?
222
00:09:53,122 --> 00:09:55,573
He, uh, did love
his model planes.
223
00:09:55,574 --> 00:09:57,375
Yeah, he loved them.
224
00:09:57,376 --> 00:09:59,043
Loved them a lot.
225
00:10:00,813 --> 00:10:02,747
But not just, uh,
model planes.
226
00:10:02,748 --> 00:10:04,449
He loved...
227
00:10:04,450 --> 00:10:05,967
m- model cars.
228
00:10:05,968 --> 00:10:07,819
Model boats.
229
00:10:08,971 --> 00:10:11,005
All... kinds of models.
230
00:10:13,142 --> 00:10:14,442
He dated models.
231
00:10:16,728 --> 00:10:18,246
Yeah. I know what
you're thinking.
232
00:10:18,247 --> 00:10:21,399
You know, "He's 100.
Why are models dating him?"
233
00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:24,135
I'm gonna tell you why.
Uh, it's because, uh,
234
00:10:24,136 --> 00:10:25,403
he respected them.
235
00:10:25,404 --> 00:10:27,772
And they sensed that...
236
00:10:27,773 --> 00:10:31,442
uh, because models have
unbelievable instincts.
237
00:10:33,595 --> 00:10:35,797
And, yes, it ended
badly sometimes.
238
00:10:35,798 --> 00:10:36,714
But he did not hit them.
239
00:10:37,933 --> 00:10:38,967
It is not true.
240
00:10:38,968 --> 00:10:41,386
It is never- It was
never- Never true!
241
00:10:42,821 --> 00:10:44,489
Bottom line is, uh,
ahem...
242
00:10:44,490 --> 00:10:45,957
Good neighbor...
243
00:10:45,958 --> 00:10:48,426
Dated models,
244
00:10:48,427 --> 00:10:50,161
Loved Bobby's son.
245
00:10:52,164 --> 00:10:53,498
You're up.
246
00:11:00,156 --> 00:11:04,025
Arthur. I've so
been enjoying
247
00:11:04,026 --> 00:11:06,361
our little
get-togethers here. Heh.
248
00:11:07,763 --> 00:11:09,114
Although...
249
00:11:09,115 --> 00:11:11,633
does their coffee
taste bitter to you?
250
00:11:13,219 --> 00:11:15,170
Sitting across from you,
251
00:11:15,171 --> 00:11:17,122
I don't even notice.
252
00:11:17,123 --> 00:11:17,855
Oh. Oh-ho!
253
00:11:19,174 --> 00:11:21,843
So... anything new?
254
00:11:21,844 --> 00:11:23,911
Mm, same old, same old.
How about you?
255
00:11:23,912 --> 00:11:25,980
Any cramps, dry heaving?
256
00:11:27,316 --> 00:11:29,867
What? No. No.
257
00:11:29,868 --> 00:11:31,720
Why would you ask that?
258
00:11:31,721 --> 00:11:33,921
Well, I just want to know
everything there is to know
259
00:11:33,922 --> 00:11:36,157
about Veronica Olchin. Oh.
260
00:11:36,158 --> 00:11:38,626
Does she like
silk sheets or satin?
261
00:11:38,627 --> 00:11:42,197
Do you like eggs sunny-side
up or scrambled? Oh.
262
00:11:42,198 --> 00:11:44,265
Do you have swelling
263
00:11:44,266 --> 00:11:46,100
in one or both of
your breasts?
264
00:11:47,686 --> 00:11:49,654
Oh, Arthur.
265
00:11:49,655 --> 00:11:51,856
This is a family place.
266
00:11:54,109 --> 00:11:55,309
Seriously.
267
00:12:02,585 --> 00:12:04,135
Hello?
268
00:12:04,136 --> 00:12:05,203
Hey, honey.
I just pulled up
269
00:12:05,204 --> 00:12:06,637
the comps
for the neighborhood.
270
00:12:06,638 --> 00:12:09,341
If we get this house, we are
gonna make a killing.
271
00:12:09,342 --> 00:12:11,242
Sweet. 'Cause I've been
boat shopping,
272
00:12:11,243 --> 00:12:13,944
and they be's
a lot of money.
273
00:12:13,945 --> 00:12:15,263
Well, we's gonna have
a lot of money.
274
00:12:16,348 --> 00:12:18,466
Wait a minute.
What?
275
00:12:18,467 --> 00:12:20,535
What's Lou doing
over at Paul's?
276
00:12:20,536 --> 00:12:21,603
He's-
277
00:12:21,604 --> 00:12:23,021
He's watering
their flowers.
278
00:12:23,022 --> 00:12:24,489
Why would he be
doing that?
279
00:12:24,490 --> 00:12:26,507
Oh, my God. I bet you
he's trying
280
00:12:26,508 --> 00:12:28,076
to buy the house
and then flip it too.
281
00:12:28,077 --> 00:12:30,445
What? No, come on.
He's not that savvy.
282
00:12:30,446 --> 00:12:32,080
Not that savvy?
He's a giant.
283
00:12:32,081 --> 00:12:33,415
With a giant
brain to match.
284
00:12:34,917 --> 00:12:36,368
Oh. Maybe
you're right.
285
00:12:36,369 --> 00:12:38,302
Remember he was walking
around the memorial
286
00:12:38,303 --> 00:12:39,571
like he owned
the place.
287
00:12:39,572 --> 00:12:42,290
Go over there and find out
what his game is.
288
00:12:42,291 --> 00:12:44,459
Oh. I'm going.
I'm going right now.
289
00:12:49,715 --> 00:12:52,183
Hey, Lou.
Hey, Doug.
290
00:12:52,184 --> 00:12:54,852
What you doing? Just
watering Paul's flowers.
291
00:12:54,853 --> 00:12:56,520
Oh, well, isn't
that neighborly?
292
00:12:56,521 --> 00:12:59,457
It's just, uh, Paul
really loved his garden.
293
00:12:59,458 --> 00:13:01,726
I thought maybe someone
should look after it.
294
00:13:01,727 --> 00:13:02,693
Aww.
295
00:13:02,694 --> 00:13:04,995
You listen
and you listen good.
296
00:13:04,996 --> 00:13:06,464
Don't go up
against us
297
00:13:06,465 --> 00:13:08,032
because you'll lose
every time.
298
00:13:14,356 --> 00:13:15,523
Hey.
299
00:13:15,524 --> 00:13:16,574
Where have you been?
300
00:13:16,575 --> 00:13:18,276
Lou's probably got
the house by now.
301
00:13:18,277 --> 00:13:19,794
Oh, probably not
'cause...
302
00:13:19,795 --> 00:13:20,795
we got it!
303
00:13:20,796 --> 00:13:22,062
What?
304
00:13:22,063 --> 00:13:24,332
Yes, that's right. After
we hung up, I called Eloise.
305
00:13:24,333 --> 00:13:26,033
I made her an offer,
and she accepted it.
306
00:13:26,034 --> 00:13:27,335
We got the house.
307
00:13:27,336 --> 00:13:28,837
We got the house.
We got the house.
308
00:13:28,838 --> 00:13:30,171
Come on.
309
00:13:34,026 --> 00:13:35,659
You know what,
honey?
310
00:13:35,660 --> 00:13:38,429
This is the start of
a whole new life for us.
311
00:13:38,430 --> 00:13:40,664
Yeah. Now let's
go get
312
00:13:40,665 --> 00:13:42,216
that giant freak
off our property.
313
00:13:49,556 --> 00:13:51,758
Hey.
Hey, there she is!
314
00:13:51,759 --> 00:13:53,059
Yeah.
All right. Mwah!
315
00:13:53,060 --> 00:13:54,260
Oh, look at
this place.
316
00:13:54,261 --> 00:13:55,662
Who wouldn't
want to buy it? Huh?
317
00:13:55,663 --> 00:13:57,013
I dare you
to tell me.
318
00:13:57,014 --> 00:13:58,814
I cannot tell you.
I lose the dare.
319
00:13:58,815 --> 00:14:00,183
Mm-hm.
That's right.
320
00:14:00,184 --> 00:14:01,885
So did anybody come by
and look at it yet?
321
00:14:01,886 --> 00:14:03,235
Uh, no.
322
00:14:03,236 --> 00:14:06,622
No. That's okay!
It's totally okay.
323
00:14:06,623 --> 00:14:08,358
Nobody sells a house
after the first 2 weeks.
324
00:14:08,359 --> 00:14:10,310
No. Nobody. I mean,
well, people do,
325
00:14:10,311 --> 00:14:12,228
but that's ok!
326
00:14:12,229 --> 00:14:13,179
It's great.
Yeah.
327
00:14:13,180 --> 00:14:14,481
It's great.
328
00:14:14,482 --> 00:14:16,799
By the way, I, uh,
talked to the electrician,
329
00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:18,902
and he said
to fix the wiring
330
00:14:18,903 --> 00:14:19,936
and patch up
the hole,
331
00:14:19,937 --> 00:14:22,205
it's gonna run us
$1800.
332
00:14:22,206 --> 00:14:23,323
Wow. That's weird
because
333
00:14:23,324 --> 00:14:24,524
I talked to
the plumber,
334
00:14:24,525 --> 00:14:26,393
and he said the leak
in the upstairs bathroom
335
00:14:26,394 --> 00:14:28,161
is gonna run us
1800 too.
336
00:14:28,162 --> 00:14:28,962
Really?
Yeah.
337
00:14:28,963 --> 00:14:30,830
Well, that's a"coinky-dink. "
338
00:14:30,831 --> 00:14:33,016
Spooky.
339
00:14:33,017 --> 00:14:34,867
Mm.
Mwah!
340
00:14:34,868 --> 00:14:36,001
All right.
341
00:14:37,638 --> 00:14:39,572
We're never gonna sell
this place, are we?
342
00:14:39,573 --> 00:14:40,940
Not ever.
343
00:14:40,941 --> 00:14:42,776
I knew it! I just
knew you-
344
00:14:42,777 --> 00:14:44,360
It was a big mistake
with the whole,
345
00:14:44,361 --> 00:14:46,128
"We'll just flip it!
We'll flip it!"
346
00:14:46,129 --> 00:14:47,764
What? That's the way
my boss got rich.
347
00:14:47,765 --> 00:14:48,965
Well, here's
the difference.
348
00:14:48,966 --> 00:14:50,867
He's smart.
You're dumb as ass!
349
00:14:53,070 --> 00:14:54,003
Well, you know what?
350
00:14:54,004 --> 00:14:55,638
This is all
your fault really.
351
00:14:55,639 --> 00:14:56,573
What?!
Yeah, that's right.
352
00:14:56,574 --> 00:14:58,358
You rushed me into
making an offer with,
353
00:14:58,359 --> 00:14:59,609
"Lou's watering
the plants.
354
00:14:59,610 --> 00:15:01,945
He's gonna buy the house.
He's got a big brain. "
355
00:15:01,946 --> 00:15:02,996
Do not try to
pin this all on me.
356
00:15:02,997 --> 00:15:04,447
This is all
your evil plan.
357
00:15:04,448 --> 00:15:05,548
Oh, it's just
business, Doug.
358
00:15:05,549 --> 00:15:08,017
Oh. You know, actually, we got
exactly what we deserved.
359
00:15:08,018 --> 00:15:09,718
We pretended to care
about some dead guy
360
00:15:09,719 --> 00:15:10,987
whose name we don't
even know.
361
00:15:10,988 --> 00:15:12,355
I still don't
even know it!
362
00:15:12,356 --> 00:15:15,625
I want to say Pete,
but I'm pretty sure I'm wrong.
363
00:15:15,626 --> 00:15:18,377
Okay. Lower your voice.
The neighbors will hear us.
364
00:15:18,378 --> 00:15:20,346
We are the neighbors!
365
00:15:26,554 --> 00:15:28,020
By the way,
you promised me a boat.
366
00:15:28,021 --> 00:15:29,522
I'm getting my boat.
367
00:15:29,523 --> 00:15:30,907
Oh, no, you're not.
Oh, yes, I am.
368
00:15:30,908 --> 00:15:32,224
And I'm naming it
after you:
369
00:15:32,225 --> 00:15:33,426
The Dumb As Ass.
370
00:15:35,813 --> 00:15:37,831
Well, let me tell
you something,
371
00:15:37,832 --> 00:15:39,232
Captain Sandwich.
372
00:15:39,233 --> 00:15:40,666
the only reason
why I did this
373
00:15:40,667 --> 00:15:42,568
is so we finally had
a shot at some real money.
374
00:15:42,569 --> 00:15:44,871
It's always about money
with you. You're obsessed!
375
00:15:44,872 --> 00:15:46,573
Well, maybe I wouldn't be
if I married a man
376
00:15:46,574 --> 00:15:48,140
who had one ounce
of ambition.
377
00:15:48,141 --> 00:15:50,543
Oh. Well, then, maybe you
should've married somebody else.
378
00:15:50,544 --> 00:15:51,877
Well, too late
for that now.
379
00:15:51,878 --> 00:15:53,662
No. Hey. You know,
we get divorced, huh?
380
00:15:53,663 --> 00:15:55,081
I'll divorce you
right now.
381
00:15:55,082 --> 00:15:57,349
Oh. I will divorce
the crap out of you.
382
00:16:00,371 --> 00:16:02,989
Let's jus- Let's just
regroup, okay?
383
00:16:04,058 --> 00:16:05,592
Come on.
All right.
384
00:16:05,593 --> 00:16:08,728
Now let's just fix
what we can fix
385
00:16:08,729 --> 00:16:10,029
and sell the house
for what we can,
386
00:16:10,030 --> 00:16:11,497
and just get back
387
00:16:11,498 --> 00:16:14,400
to our normal,
poverty-stricken lives.
388
00:16:15,703 --> 00:16:17,837
I would love that.
389
00:16:17,838 --> 00:16:20,573
I'm sorry for-
For what I said.
390
00:16:20,574 --> 00:16:22,008
I know you are.
391
00:16:22,009 --> 00:16:24,393
You would never
divorce me, right?
392
00:16:24,394 --> 00:16:25,478
No.
393
00:16:27,364 --> 00:16:28,414
No!
394
00:16:40,260 --> 00:16:41,827
That's it.
Finish it all.
395
00:16:43,630 --> 00:16:45,598
You know, this coffee is
396
00:16:45,599 --> 00:16:47,050
starting to grow on me.
397
00:16:47,051 --> 00:16:48,351
Mm-hm.
398
00:16:48,352 --> 00:16:49,669
Is anything else...
399
00:16:49,670 --> 00:16:51,604
growing on you?
400
00:16:51,605 --> 00:16:53,189
Ooh.
401
00:16:53,190 --> 00:16:54,857
Oh. By the way,
402
00:16:54,858 --> 00:16:56,392
I have to cancel
our date tomorrow.
403
00:16:56,393 --> 00:16:58,411
I'm going out of town.
What?
404
00:16:59,713 --> 00:17:02,097
Well, I- I'll only
be gone for a week.
405
00:17:02,098 --> 00:17:03,716
Well. A lot can
happen in a week.
406
00:17:03,717 --> 00:17:05,718
What if your hair
falls out,
407
00:17:05,719 --> 00:17:07,553
or you have
difficulty blinking?
408
00:17:07,554 --> 00:17:08,788
I- I'll never know.
409
00:17:10,407 --> 00:17:13,876
Arthur, you know, I-
I really enjoy being with you.
410
00:17:13,877 --> 00:17:17,413
But I must say, some of your
questions are awfully strange.
411
00:17:17,414 --> 00:17:19,415
You know,
you gals amaze me.
412
00:17:19,416 --> 00:17:22,218
You're always saying we men
are afraid of intimacy.
413
00:17:22,219 --> 00:17:24,487
But I ask you
for one stool sample,
414
00:17:24,488 --> 00:17:25,888
and suddenly
I'm the bad guy.
415
00:17:28,074 --> 00:17:31,478
What is going on here?
416
00:17:31,479 --> 00:17:33,429
I'm doing a drug trial. What?
417
00:17:33,430 --> 00:17:34,981
I was afraid of
the side effects,
418
00:17:34,982 --> 00:17:36,966
so I've been putting
the pills in your coffee.
419
00:17:39,153 --> 00:17:42,238
Oh, my-!
How dare you!
420
00:17:42,239 --> 00:17:44,791
How dare me?
421
00:17:44,792 --> 00:17:46,793
I've been plying you
with top-of-the-line
422
00:17:46,794 --> 00:17:48,094
experimental drugs,
423
00:17:48,095 --> 00:17:50,462
and now you're
leaving me in the lurch!
424
00:17:52,015 --> 00:17:55,034
Oh! To think I actually
thought you cared about me,
425
00:17:55,035 --> 00:17:58,137
when all the time I was
just your lab rat.
426
00:17:58,138 --> 00:17:59,088
I understand
you're upset,
427
00:17:59,089 --> 00:18:00,255
but just tell me
one thing.
428
00:18:00,256 --> 00:18:01,624
What?
429
00:18:01,625 --> 00:18:03,776
Would you say your psoriasis
is much better,
430
00:18:03,777 --> 00:18:05,978
somewhat better,
or no change at all?
431
00:18:12,419 --> 00:18:14,587
Here we have a lovely
working fireplace,
432
00:18:14,588 --> 00:18:16,355
perfect for roasting
marshmallows
433
00:18:16,356 --> 00:18:19,092
when little- Little
Michael has some sleepovers.
434
00:18:19,093 --> 00:18:20,009
It's Malik.
435
00:18:20,010 --> 00:18:21,076
Malik. Right.
436
00:18:21,077 --> 00:18:22,761
Either way,
he's a little stud.
437
00:18:22,762 --> 00:18:24,830
Good thing I'm not gonna be
his teacher when he's 13.
438
00:18:24,831 --> 00:18:27,183
You know what
I'm saying? Ha!
439
00:18:28,419 --> 00:18:29,819
You know?
Ha-ha!
440
00:18:29,820 --> 00:18:31,837
Hey! Hey, honey. This is Larry
441
00:18:31,838 --> 00:18:33,806
and Vanessa Taylor,
and their son, Malik.
442
00:18:33,807 --> 00:18:36,242
How you doing? Whoa. Don't
want to mess with this guy.
443
00:18:37,460 --> 00:18:38,912
Can we look at
the kitchen again?
444
00:18:38,913 --> 00:18:41,080
Sure. Go ahead and
take it for a test drive.
445
00:18:41,081 --> 00:18:41,915
Ah. Heh-heh!
446
00:18:45,101 --> 00:18:46,753
Honey, I think
they're interested.
447
00:18:46,754 --> 00:18:47,887
Oh, that's great.
448
00:18:47,888 --> 00:18:49,588
Oh, what about
all the, uh, wire repairs
449
00:18:49,589 --> 00:18:51,691
and the plumbing repairs? All done.
450
00:18:51,692 --> 00:18:53,709
You're kidding me.
What did it cost us?
451
00:18:53,710 --> 00:18:55,311
Not as much
as you think.
452
00:18:55,312 --> 00:18:56,979
That's great.
How much?
453
00:18:59,032 --> 00:19:00,532
Sorry, what was it?
454
00:19:00,533 --> 00:19:02,051
Seventy-five dollars.
Ahem.
455
00:19:02,052 --> 00:19:03,069
Seventy-five- It was
456
00:19:03,070 --> 00:19:04,737
supposed to cost us
like four grand.
457
00:19:04,738 --> 00:19:06,856
Who the hell
did it for 75?
458
00:19:06,857 --> 00:19:08,040
Barefoot guy.
459
00:19:09,509 --> 00:19:10,994
Barefoot guy?!
Does-?
460
00:19:10,995 --> 00:19:12,995
Did he even really
fix anything?
461
00:19:12,996 --> 00:19:14,430
Oh, fix,
not fix.
462
00:19:14,431 --> 00:19:15,548
Why do you
always gotta
463
00:19:15,549 --> 00:19:17,016
slap a label
on everything?
464
00:19:18,585 --> 00:19:19,902
Carrie, we cannot
do this.
465
00:19:19,903 --> 00:19:21,788
We are not
screwing over these people.
466
00:19:21,789 --> 00:19:23,172
What? The old lady
screwed us over,
467
00:19:23,173 --> 00:19:24,940
so we're gonna
screw over somebody else.
468
00:19:24,941 --> 00:19:26,509
It's the circle of life.
469
00:19:26,510 --> 00:19:28,410
Carrie?
Yes?
470
00:19:29,913 --> 00:19:32,131
Think we'd like to
put in an offer.
471
00:19:32,132 --> 00:19:33,800
Really?
472
00:19:33,801 --> 00:19:35,351
This is a great house.
473
00:19:35,352 --> 00:19:36,885
And that little room
off the master
474
00:19:36,886 --> 00:19:38,471
is gonna be
perfect for the baby.
475
00:19:38,472 --> 00:19:40,223
Baby?
476
00:19:40,224 --> 00:19:42,391
Yeah. We got one
on the way.
477
00:19:43,743 --> 00:19:44,810
Uh...
478
00:19:44,811 --> 00:19:46,112
a- a-actually,
479
00:19:46,113 --> 00:19:47,546
D- Doug and I have
been talking,
480
00:19:47,547 --> 00:19:48,547
and, uh,
we don't think
481
00:19:48,548 --> 00:19:49,582
this is the-
482
00:19:49,583 --> 00:19:51,234
It's the right
house for you.
483
00:19:51,235 --> 00:19:52,402
Why not?
484
00:19:52,403 --> 00:19:53,669
Oh, we just
don't think you're-
485
00:19:53,670 --> 00:19:55,705
You're gonna be
happy here.
486
00:19:55,706 --> 00:19:57,573
Is this 'cause
we're black?
487
00:19:57,574 --> 00:19:58,524
What?
No.
488
00:19:58,525 --> 00:19:59,759
No, no.
489
00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:00,960
Then what's
the problem?
490
00:20:00,961 --> 00:20:02,662
The house has a million
things wrong with it.
491
00:20:02,663 --> 00:20:04,580
It's a very
bad house.
492
00:20:04,581 --> 00:20:06,582
It was fine
a few minutes ago.
493
00:20:06,583 --> 00:20:08,451
Look, we're telling
you the truth, okay?
494
00:20:08,452 --> 00:20:09,969
Oh, you don't
believe-
495
00:20:09,970 --> 00:20:11,020
Can I borrow this
for a second?
496
00:20:11,021 --> 00:20:12,521
Okay. All right, thank you.
497
00:20:12,522 --> 00:20:14,690
How's this for
fine craftsmanship?
498
00:20:17,827 --> 00:20:19,828
Actually, that wall
is pretty solid.
499
00:20:19,829 --> 00:20:21,797
Honey, why don't you
show them the broken pipes?
500
00:20:21,798 --> 00:20:23,632
That'll prove
we love black people.
501
00:20:23,633 --> 00:20:26,836
Yes! Yes! Great idea!
502
00:20:26,837 --> 00:20:28,771
Okay. Everybody,
you better take cover.
503
00:20:30,607 --> 00:20:32,641
Get up there girl.
Okay. All right.
504
00:20:32,642 --> 00:20:34,009
Hit it. Come on. I'm trying, baby.
505
00:20:34,010 --> 00:20:36,045
Just jab at it. That's
it. See? I'm jabbing.
506
00:20:36,046 --> 00:20:37,696
Yeah, bad.
Bad house.
507
00:20:40,801 --> 00:20:41,967
Shame on you.
508
00:20:48,208 --> 00:20:50,043
You better
watch your back.
509
00:21:16,019 --> 00:21:17,537
So should we take
the offer?
510
00:21:17,538 --> 00:21:19,539
I don't know. We're
getting killed here.
511
00:21:19,540 --> 00:21:21,274
What other choice
do we have?
512
00:21:21,275 --> 00:21:23,176
All right.
513
00:21:24,344 --> 00:21:25,578
Let's do this.
Okay.
514
00:21:29,683 --> 00:21:30,816
Lou...
515
00:21:30,817 --> 00:21:32,451
we've decided to
accept your offer.
516
00:21:32,452 --> 00:21:33,252
Great.
517
00:21:34,420 --> 00:21:36,672
We still think you're
low-balling us.
518
00:21:36,673 --> 00:21:38,123
Oh, I am.
35432
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