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1
00:00:43,124 --> 00:00:44,474
Ooh!
2
00:00:44,475 --> 00:00:46,844
Is Douglas back from the store
with my eyedrops?
3
00:00:46,845 --> 00:00:47,678
No, not yet.
4
00:00:47,679 --> 00:00:49,680
If I don't have
my eyedrops,
5
00:00:49,681 --> 00:00:51,447
I can't put my lenses in.
6
00:00:51,448 --> 00:00:53,467
I'm blind as a $2 hooker!
7
00:00:53,468 --> 00:00:56,386
Didn't know $2 hookers
tended to be blind.
8
00:00:56,387 --> 00:00:59,139
Why do you think
they're only $2?
9
00:00:59,140 --> 00:01:01,442
Dad, could we just get you
glasses already?
10
00:01:01,443 --> 00:01:03,227
I swore off glasses
in 1976!
11
00:01:03,228 --> 00:01:04,661
I know the year,
12
00:01:04,662 --> 00:01:07,097
because the last time I threw
a pair at the television
13
00:01:07,098 --> 00:01:10,166
was during a particularly
offensive bicentennial minute!
14
00:01:13,170 --> 00:01:14,254
Say hello to your hero.
15
00:01:14,255 --> 00:01:15,255
What?
16
00:01:15,256 --> 00:01:17,324
We needed toothpaste,
right?
17
00:01:17,325 --> 00:01:19,475
Well, it was on sale
for $1.09.
18
00:01:19,476 --> 00:01:22,129
Trouble is, it was
only one to a customer.
19
00:01:22,130 --> 00:01:24,147
So how did I get 5,
you ask?
20
00:01:24,148 --> 00:01:26,416
Well, Doug bought one.
21
00:01:26,417 --> 00:01:28,552
Then 10 minutes later,
22
00:01:28,553 --> 00:01:31,922
British Doug bought
a jolly good one.
23
00:01:31,923 --> 00:01:33,356
Then...
24
00:01:33,357 --> 00:01:34,875
Did you get
my father's eyedrops?
25
00:01:34,876 --> 00:01:36,927
Excuse me. I was
about to introduce you
26
00:01:36,928 --> 00:01:38,595
to Clumsy Shop-Teacher Doug.
27
00:01:43,434 --> 00:01:46,502
So the one thing I asked you
to get, you didn't get.
28
00:01:46,503 --> 00:01:47,954
No, but 5 tubes of toothpaste!
29
00:01:47,955 --> 00:01:49,656
We'll never need
toothpaste again!
30
00:01:49,657 --> 00:01:51,658
We win!
31
00:01:51,659 --> 00:01:54,294
Listen, I talked
to the bank today,
32
00:01:54,295 --> 00:01:57,731
and I think we should
refinance our mortgage.
33
00:01:57,732 --> 00:02:00,116
Carrie, we were lucky
to finance in the first place.
34
00:02:00,117 --> 00:02:03,454
Let's not tinker
with the support beams.
35
00:02:03,455 --> 00:02:05,672
Look, a couple of hours
of paperwork,
36
00:02:05,673 --> 00:02:09,108
and we save thousands of dollars
over the next 30 years.
37
00:02:09,109 --> 00:02:12,695
I gotta tell you, my vote's
still leanin' towards no.
38
00:02:12,696 --> 00:02:14,998
Oh, I'm sorry.
I forgot to tell you this.
39
00:02:14,999 --> 00:02:16,833
You don't have a vote.
40
00:02:23,707 --> 00:02:25,742
We have to refinance.
41
00:02:25,743 --> 00:02:28,846
Any money we save,
she'll just stick in the bank
42
00:02:28,847 --> 00:02:31,849
or use to pay bills.
43
00:02:31,850 --> 00:02:33,984
So stupid.
44
00:02:35,620 --> 00:02:38,905
Heffernan.
45
00:02:38,906 --> 00:02:39,856
Uh, yeah, Mr. O'Boyle.
46
00:02:39,857 --> 00:02:41,441
Kinda slow goin' there,
huh?
47
00:02:41,442 --> 00:02:43,126
How 'bout
a little less Burger King
48
00:02:43,127 --> 00:02:45,145
and a little more
deliveries?
49
00:02:45,146 --> 00:02:47,764
Uh, I didn't stop
at Burger King today, sir.
50
00:02:47,765 --> 00:02:50,066
Then Arby's.
51
00:02:51,068 --> 00:02:52,735
Okay.
52
00:02:52,736 --> 00:02:55,705
Listen, you got a pickup
at Jewel and Kissena.
53
00:02:55,706 --> 00:02:56,873
The high school?
54
00:02:56,874 --> 00:02:58,491
Yeah.
55
00:02:58,492 --> 00:03:00,643
You kiddin' me?
I graduated from there.
56
00:03:00,644 --> 00:03:02,112
That's funny.
57
00:03:02,113 --> 00:03:03,814
Yeah, my sides
are splitting.
58
00:03:03,815 --> 00:03:06,883
Let me get off
so I can tell the guys.
59
00:03:18,112 --> 00:03:19,980
Hey, coach,
any chance you could use
60
00:03:19,981 --> 00:03:21,982
a slightly
out-of-shape fullback?
61
00:03:25,370 --> 00:03:27,371
Heffernan.
62
00:03:28,839 --> 00:03:30,507
How are ya?
63
00:03:30,508 --> 00:03:31,241
Ah, great.
64
00:03:31,242 --> 00:03:33,693
Pull up a chair.
Let's catch up, huh?
65
00:03:33,694 --> 00:03:34,828
All right.
66
00:03:34,829 --> 00:03:36,797
Okay...
67
00:03:37,198 --> 00:03:38,682
Married?
Yep.
68
00:03:38,683 --> 00:03:39,967
Kids?
No.
69
00:03:39,968 --> 00:03:42,168
We're all caught up.
70
00:03:42,169 --> 00:03:45,255
Hey, I'm thinking of going
to Mr. Nagel's biology class
71
00:03:45,256 --> 00:03:46,923
and settin'
all the frogs free again.
72
00:03:46,924 --> 00:03:48,842
He can't suspend me
now, right?
73
00:03:48,843 --> 00:03:50,227
No.
74
00:03:50,228 --> 00:03:52,462
He's dead.
75
00:03:53,998 --> 00:03:56,349
Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry-
76
00:03:56,350 --> 00:03:58,568
No, that's all right...
seven years ago.
77
00:03:58,569 --> 00:04:01,071
I'm all cried out.
78
00:04:01,072 --> 00:04:02,789
I cannot
believe you said-
79
00:04:02,790 --> 00:04:05,141
Hey, Brandon, Michael! Come
here, come here, come here.
80
00:04:05,142 --> 00:04:08,411
I want ya to meet
a real...
81
00:04:08,412 --> 00:04:09,979
running back.
82
00:04:09,980 --> 00:04:12,215
Doug Heffernan.
83
00:04:12,216 --> 00:04:15,035
All-county,
two years in a row.
84
00:04:15,036 --> 00:04:16,336
Hey, nice to
meet ya.
85
00:04:16,337 --> 00:04:17,337
How you doin'?
86
00:04:17,338 --> 00:04:18,972
Yeah, all-county. Wow.
87
00:04:18,973 --> 00:04:21,157
Uh, wanna tell 'em
about the Kennedy game?
88
00:04:21,158 --> 00:04:23,627
Come on. They don't wanna
hear the old war stories.
89
00:04:23,628 --> 00:04:26,229
Go ahead and tell them.
Okay.
90
00:04:26,230 --> 00:04:28,831
We hitched our wagon
to this animal.
91
00:04:28,832 --> 00:04:32,436
186 yards.
92
00:04:32,437 --> 00:04:33,519
You're embarrassing me.
93
00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:34,587
No, no, no.
94
00:04:34,588 --> 00:04:36,656
He ran like he was
mad at the grass.
95
00:04:44,382 --> 00:04:46,533
Hey, Arthur.
96
00:04:46,534 --> 00:04:49,001
Have you ever seen
this Mr. Magoo program?
97
00:04:49,002 --> 00:04:51,204
It's quite insensitive.
98
00:04:51,205 --> 00:04:54,091
Oh, 'cause of that really
racist Asian character?
99
00:04:54,092 --> 00:04:55,325
Oh, no. He's hilarious.
100
00:04:55,326 --> 00:04:57,994
They should give that guy
his own show.
101
00:04:57,995 --> 00:05:00,146
See, I don't see him
as a lead.
102
00:05:00,147 --> 00:05:01,631
You couldn't be
more wrong.
103
00:05:01,632 --> 00:05:05,134
My point is, the blind are
treated as if we're buffoons.
104
00:05:05,135 --> 00:05:06,235
You're not blind.
105
00:05:06,236 --> 00:05:08,204
Why don't you just
go get glasses?
106
00:05:08,205 --> 00:05:11,441
I think you'd look
really handsome in them.
107
00:05:11,442 --> 00:05:13,944
That's the nicest thing
you ever said to me.
108
00:05:13,945 --> 00:05:15,878
Wait a second.
109
00:05:15,879 --> 00:05:17,280
You're not Carrie!
110
00:05:18,448 --> 00:05:20,583
N- no, it's me, Holly.
111
00:05:20,584 --> 00:05:24,321
I'm sorry. I can usually
recognize your gin-soaked voice.
112
00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:28,191
I must need
my eardrops.
113
00:05:28,192 --> 00:05:29,959
Listen, Arthur,
if you're not feeling well,
114
00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:31,528
we don't have to go
on our walk today.
115
00:05:34,465 --> 00:05:36,166
Wait, Arthur, no.
These aren't eardrops!
116
00:05:36,167 --> 00:05:37,767
This is wart remover.
117
00:05:37,768 --> 00:05:39,252
It says for external use only!
118
00:05:39,253 --> 00:05:41,054
Oh, my God.
119
00:05:41,055 --> 00:05:42,889
Are you okay?
120
00:05:42,890 --> 00:05:45,625
Arthur! Arthur,
can you hear me?
121
00:05:48,362 --> 00:05:50,397
So then I cut to my left, right?
122
00:05:50,398 --> 00:05:52,515
And the cornerback comes in
to try to get me, right?
123
00:05:52,516 --> 00:05:54,217
So I say, "I'm gonna
cut to the right,"
124
00:05:54,218 --> 00:05:55,718
But no, I go
right through him
125
00:05:55,719 --> 00:05:57,254
and just crack
his chest plate!
126
00:05:57,255 --> 00:05:59,722
I put like a cleat in the eye,
I'm going crazy!
127
00:05:59,723 --> 00:06:01,074
His eye's twitchin',
128
00:06:01,075 --> 00:06:04,027
and his soul is literally
spillin' all over the field.
129
00:06:04,028 --> 00:06:05,896
Then I just truck it
into the end zone.
130
00:06:05,897 --> 00:06:07,897
Touchdown. Playoffs.
131
00:06:07,898 --> 00:06:08,965
Something like that.
132
00:06:08,966 --> 00:06:11,468
I don't remember.
It was a long time ago.
133
00:06:11,469 --> 00:06:12,869
Awesome!
134
00:06:12,870 --> 00:06:15,872
Yeah. We haven't made
the playoffs since, what, '94?
135
00:06:15,873 --> 00:06:17,574
Hey, hey.
136
00:06:19,243 --> 00:06:21,944
I need this job.
137
00:06:23,914 --> 00:06:26,299
You got time to tell 'em
about the Bayside game?
138
00:06:26,300 --> 00:06:28,167
Heffernan, where are you?
139
00:06:28,168 --> 00:06:29,819
We got
an emergency plasma pickup
140
00:06:29,820 --> 00:06:32,222
at Queens General Hospital.
141
00:06:32,223 --> 00:06:34,457
I got time.
142
00:06:43,199 --> 00:06:45,817
Car, you're never gonna believe
where I had a pickup today.
143
00:06:45,818 --> 00:06:48,487
One second, honey. I'm on the
phone with the mortgage company.
144
00:06:48,488 --> 00:06:51,256
Yes, once again,
the name is Heffernan.
145
00:06:51,257 --> 00:06:54,025
They told me to talk to you
about looking into a rate?
146
00:06:54,026 --> 00:06:57,061
No, no, no, no.
Customer Service sent me to you.
147
00:06:57,062 --> 00:06:59,698
Please don't send me
back there- Hello? Great.
148
00:06:59,699 --> 00:07:02,401
Here comes
American Pie again.
149
00:07:02,402 --> 00:07:04,135
My old high school.
It was unbelievable.
150
00:07:04,136 --> 00:07:05,970
My old coach calls me
in the office, right?
151
00:07:05,971 --> 00:07:07,138
We're hanging out there.
152
00:07:07,139 --> 00:07:08,239
Then he brings students in
153
00:07:08,240 --> 00:07:09,708
so we can tell them
some stories-
154
00:07:09,709 --> 00:07:12,094
And then
- Yes, Marcus. Yes, it's me again.
155
00:07:12,095 --> 00:07:13,728
Honey, please. Yes...
156
00:07:13,729 --> 00:07:15,330
Yes, the yeller. Uh-huh.
157
00:07:15,331 --> 00:07:17,999
Listen, you and Melissa
and me,
158
00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:20,701
we all need to get
on the same page, okay?
159
00:07:20,702 --> 00:07:23,238
Because she said
I needed to talk to you.
160
00:07:23,239 --> 00:07:25,857
No, no, no. Don't put me
on hold again, plea-
161
00:07:25,858 --> 00:07:27,659
I'm on hold.
162
00:07:27,660 --> 00:07:28,926
So I'm telling
the story, right,
163
00:07:28,927 --> 00:07:30,761
and these kids are
literally looking at me
164
00:07:30,762 --> 00:07:32,430
like I'm one of the guys
from Menudo.
165
00:07:32,431 --> 00:07:34,449
And all of a sudden-
166
00:07:34,450 --> 00:07:36,784
I- I- I-
Listen, listen, baby, please!
167
00:07:36,785 --> 00:07:38,453
God, I gotta focus
on this right now.
168
00:07:38,454 --> 00:07:39,454
Do me a favor.
169
00:07:39,455 --> 00:07:41,156
The upstairs toilet
is acting up again.
170
00:07:41,157 --> 00:07:42,341
Please take a look at it.
171
00:07:42,342 --> 00:07:43,675
Yes!
172
00:07:52,218 --> 00:07:54,636
Treat her right,
and she'll treat you right.
173
00:07:54,637 --> 00:07:56,755
Doug Heffernan,
class of '83.
174
00:08:02,411 --> 00:08:04,763
This is broccoli!
What?
175
00:08:04,764 --> 00:08:06,615
Broccoli!
176
00:08:06,616 --> 00:08:09,133
Okay. Ready for broccoli.
177
00:08:11,971 --> 00:08:14,188
Yam!
178
00:08:14,189 --> 00:08:16,191
Okay. Ready for ham.
179
00:08:16,192 --> 00:08:18,376
No, I said yam.
180
00:08:18,377 --> 00:08:19,861
Yes.
181
00:08:25,050 --> 00:08:27,636
What's the date
on this ham?
182
00:08:34,010 --> 00:08:34,843
What's up?
183
00:08:42,518 --> 00:08:44,402
Hey, we got any SunnyD?
184
00:08:47,023 --> 00:08:49,791
Doug... where have you been?
185
00:08:49,792 --> 00:08:51,459
What are you
talking about?
186
00:08:51,460 --> 00:08:55,030
You were supposed to meet me
at the mortgage company.
187
00:08:55,031 --> 00:08:58,133
Oh, uh...
188
00:08:58,134 --> 00:08:59,750
I'm sorry. I forgot.
189
00:08:59,751 --> 00:09:00,919
You forgot.
Where were you?
190
00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:03,187
School.
191
00:09:03,188 --> 00:09:06,357
You went back
to your old high school? Why?
192
00:09:06,358 --> 00:09:08,543
We have a very big game
coming up.
193
00:09:08,544 --> 00:09:11,862
Okay, I don't know
what it is you're talking about,
194
00:09:11,863 --> 00:09:13,531
but I rescheduled
the appointment
195
00:09:13,532 --> 00:09:15,233
for tomorrow at 5:00.
196
00:09:15,234 --> 00:09:19,104
Uh, yeah. 5's
not gonna work for me.
197
00:09:20,739 --> 00:09:22,006
And why is that?
198
00:09:22,007 --> 00:09:23,892
Pep rally.
Pep rally.
199
00:09:25,311 --> 00:09:27,311
Okay, you do realize
we're seconds away
200
00:09:27,312 --> 00:09:29,481
from squad cars being
on our lawn, right?
201
00:09:29,482 --> 00:09:31,482
Carrie, so... I like
hanging out there sometimes.
202
00:09:31,483 --> 00:09:33,285
What's the big deal?
What's the big deal?
203
00:09:33,286 --> 00:09:35,237
First of all,
you missed an appointment,
204
00:09:35,238 --> 00:09:37,155
and it is a little weird
that a grown man
205
00:09:37,156 --> 00:09:38,923
is hanging out
at his old high school.
206
00:09:38,924 --> 00:09:41,376
And why the hell
are you wearing a backpack?
207
00:09:41,377 --> 00:09:44,379
That's exactly why I go
hang out at my old high school,
208
00:09:44,380 --> 00:09:46,748
Okay, 'cause I go there,
I'm somebody. I get respect.
209
00:09:46,749 --> 00:09:49,067
I walk in here,
all I get is you yelling at me
210
00:09:49,068 --> 00:09:51,837
and Ray Charles
bouncing off the furniture.
211
00:09:51,838 --> 00:09:54,039
How 'bout this? When you
get home from work tomorrow
212
00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:56,641
and you take your pants off
and fall asleep on the couch,
213
00:09:56,642 --> 00:09:57,626
I throw ya
a parade, huh?
214
00:09:57,627 --> 00:09:59,928
All I'm saying is,
high school was great.
215
00:09:59,929 --> 00:10:02,564
And I miss having
that feeling, that's all.
216
00:10:02,565 --> 00:10:04,382
You can understand that,
right?
217
00:10:04,383 --> 00:10:06,801
No, I can't understand it
because high school sucked.
218
00:10:06,802 --> 00:10:09,020
What are you talking about?
219
00:10:09,021 --> 00:10:11,088
All the obnoxious cliques,
the cheerleaders-
220
00:10:11,089 --> 00:10:14,142
"Excuse me, that's our table. "
221
00:10:14,143 --> 00:10:17,145
The only thing I enjoyed
was smoking in the girls' room.
222
00:10:17,930 --> 00:10:19,447
Ohhh. Oh, my God!
223
00:10:19,448 --> 00:10:20,915
I- I get it!
224
00:10:20,916 --> 00:10:22,316
Oh, my God, you're-
225
00:10:22,317 --> 00:10:24,586
You're jealous
'cause I rocked in high school
226
00:10:24,587 --> 00:10:26,621
and you didn't!
227
00:10:26,622 --> 00:10:29,924
I'm Emilio Estevez,
and you're Ally Sheedy!
228
00:10:31,794 --> 00:10:33,528
What does that mean?
229
00:10:33,529 --> 00:10:34,629
Breakfast Club?
230
00:10:36,031 --> 00:10:37,081
Never saw it.
231
00:10:37,082 --> 00:10:38,583
You-
232
00:10:40,419 --> 00:10:42,837
You what?!
233
00:10:42,838 --> 00:10:43,972
I never saw it.
234
00:10:43,973 --> 00:10:45,807
You never saw that movie?
235
00:10:45,808 --> 00:10:47,208
No, I didn't see it,
Doug, okay,
236
00:10:47,209 --> 00:10:49,711
because while you and your
buddies were watching movies.
237
00:10:49,712 --> 00:10:51,179
I was working.
Oh, here we go.
238
00:10:51,180 --> 00:10:53,682
Yeah, that's right. I had to
wait tables at Friendly's
239
00:10:53,683 --> 00:10:56,250
because I had to take care of my
father because I was a grownup.
240
00:10:56,251 --> 00:10:58,920
I had to be responsible.
241
00:10:58,921 --> 00:11:01,222
Oh, why do I even
talk to you?
242
00:11:01,223 --> 00:11:03,625
You can't talk to me
because I'm Ferris Bueller,
243
00:11:03,626 --> 00:11:05,960
and you're
his very bitter sister.
244
00:11:07,963 --> 00:11:10,598
Oh, my God.
You didn't see that either.
245
00:11:10,599 --> 00:11:13,752
Okay, all I know is high school
is over for you, okay?
246
00:11:13,753 --> 00:11:16,120
Now I have to get back
to very grownup stuff here,
247
00:11:16,121 --> 00:11:17,622
so excuse me.
248
00:11:17,623 --> 00:11:19,123
Okay. You know,
all I know is
249
00:11:19,124 --> 00:11:22,210
your lack of classic-movie
knowledge is terrifying!
250
00:11:58,963 --> 00:12:01,064
Hey, what's up, guys?
251
00:12:01,065 --> 00:12:03,350
You guys, uh, ready
to crush Roosevelt?
252
00:12:03,351 --> 00:12:04,667
Uh...
253
00:12:04,668 --> 00:12:06,186
Yeah.
254
00:12:06,187 --> 00:12:08,888
All right. Now, I hope
you guys aren't on the juice.
255
00:12:08,889 --> 00:12:10,090
But if you are,
256
00:12:10,091 --> 00:12:12,359
you know where to come
for clean pee.
257
00:12:13,077 --> 00:12:14,193
Great.
258
00:12:16,030 --> 00:12:17,196
So, uh...
259
00:12:17,197 --> 00:12:18,798
You work here now or...
260
00:12:18,799 --> 00:12:19,999
Work here? No, no, no.
261
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:22,068
I'm just here for the talk,
here to listen,
262
00:12:22,069 --> 00:12:24,771
here to guide you guys through
the crazy minefield they call...
263
00:12:24,772 --> 00:12:26,823
the teen years.
264
00:12:26,824 --> 00:12:28,241
Great.
265
00:12:28,242 --> 00:12:29,342
Yeah.
Yeah.
266
00:12:30,711 --> 00:12:33,863
Doug...
what are you doing?
267
00:12:33,864 --> 00:12:35,865
I'm just hanging
with the guys.
268
00:12:35,866 --> 00:12:40,637
We're supposed to be signing
mortgage papers in half an hour.
269
00:12:40,638 --> 00:12:41,654
Uh, Doug, we're gonna...
270
00:12:41,655 --> 00:12:44,007
Go score a couple
of Red Bulls.
271
00:12:44,008 --> 00:12:45,158
See ya.
272
00:12:46,527 --> 00:12:49,296
Okay, thanks for embarrassing me
in front of my crew.
273
00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:51,664
Your crew.
274
00:12:51,665 --> 00:12:53,966
Um, okay. Here's how
it's gonna go down.
275
00:12:53,967 --> 00:12:56,002
I'm gonna go
to the ladies' room,
276
00:12:56,003 --> 00:12:58,237
and you wrap up
with 'Nsync over there, okay?
277
00:12:58,238 --> 00:13:00,106
And then we're gonna
get outta here.
278
00:13:01,692 --> 00:13:04,361
Guys- Wait! Wait up!
279
00:13:05,262 --> 00:13:07,213
Hey, uh,
280
00:13:07,214 --> 00:13:08,698
can I bum one of those?
281
00:13:08,699 --> 00:13:10,817
Thank you.
282
00:13:15,072 --> 00:13:16,406
I'm not usually
a fan of hot pink,
283
00:13:16,407 --> 00:13:17,907
but you really made that work.
284
00:13:22,796 --> 00:13:25,182
Suzie,
it's gonna be okay.
285
00:13:25,183 --> 00:13:27,450
It's not okay.
He's totally with Lisa now!
286
00:13:27,451 --> 00:13:29,085
Um...
287
00:13:29,086 --> 00:13:32,288
you're not supposed to be
smoking in here.
288
00:13:32,289 --> 00:13:34,190
Oh... really?
289
00:13:34,191 --> 00:13:36,659
Thank you for the heads up.
290
00:13:38,345 --> 00:13:40,680
I don't even understand
what I am without him.
291
00:13:40,681 --> 00:13:43,216
Just make him promise
not to cheat on you again,
292
00:13:43,217 --> 00:13:46,119
and get him
a really nice gift.
293
00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:48,038
Wow, that's really great advice.
294
00:13:48,039 --> 00:13:49,939
Um, who are you?
295
00:13:49,940 --> 00:13:51,591
Um, I'm the only person
in this bathroom
296
00:13:51,592 --> 00:13:53,559
who knows anything about boys.
297
00:13:53,560 --> 00:13:55,862
Just dump the loser
and move on.
298
00:13:55,863 --> 00:13:58,381
You don't understand.
I love him.
299
00:13:58,382 --> 00:14:01,217
And I keep hearing that
stupid Christina Aguilera song.
300
00:14:01,218 --> 00:14:03,119
It's my life.
301
00:14:13,614 --> 00:14:14,681
Stop.
302
00:14:16,617 --> 00:14:18,250
Stop it.
Stop it, sweetie.
303
00:14:18,251 --> 00:14:20,386
Stop. Stop.
Bring it down.
304
00:14:21,739 --> 00:14:24,457
You guys are very depressing
for cheerleaders.
305
00:14:24,458 --> 00:14:25,591
Excuse me...
306
00:14:25,592 --> 00:14:27,626
but my life is over!
307
00:14:27,627 --> 00:14:29,095
Oh, come on.
308
00:14:29,096 --> 00:14:30,830
You have the world
at your feet.
309
00:14:30,831 --> 00:14:32,598
I mean, look at you.
You're pretty.
310
00:14:32,599 --> 00:14:35,701
You can probably bend in
a bunch of different ways.
311
00:14:37,238 --> 00:14:39,906
So one guy broke your heart.
You move on.
312
00:14:39,907 --> 00:14:41,657
But Brandon's perfect!
313
00:14:41,658 --> 00:14:44,093
Okay, let me explain something
to you about Brandon, okay?
314
00:14:44,094 --> 00:14:46,596
Twenty years from now,
he's gonna be 250 pounds
315
00:14:46,597 --> 00:14:50,066
and communicating to you
entirely in burps.
316
00:14:50,067 --> 00:14:51,901
Trust me.
317
00:14:51,902 --> 00:14:53,303
Wow.
318
00:14:53,304 --> 00:14:55,305
What else
can you tell us?
319
00:14:55,306 --> 00:14:58,058
Well, um...
320
00:14:58,059 --> 00:15:00,760
unless you're planning
on being in the Ice Capades,
321
00:15:00,761 --> 00:15:03,496
let's lose
the glitter makeup, okay?
322
00:15:03,497 --> 00:15:05,648
Yeah.
323
00:15:05,649 --> 00:15:07,900
Okay. Well, it's time
to begin our program.
324
00:15:07,901 --> 00:15:10,236
We got a big game
coming up,
325
00:15:10,237 --> 00:15:12,489
and we're gonna
take it to 'em, huh?
326
00:15:12,490 --> 00:15:14,223
Yeah.
327
00:15:15,409 --> 00:15:16,743
Good. That's the spirit.
328
00:15:16,744 --> 00:15:18,110
McGregor is so weak.
329
00:15:18,111 --> 00:15:20,847
I know. How are we supposed
to get pumped up to this?
330
00:15:20,848 --> 00:15:22,749
You guys want pumped up?
331
00:15:22,750 --> 00:15:24,450
You got it.
332
00:15:26,152 --> 00:15:29,505
I've never seen anybody
run a library the way you do.
333
00:15:29,506 --> 00:15:31,257
You know, in my condo
334
00:15:31,258 --> 00:15:34,627
I got books laying around
all over the place.
335
00:15:34,628 --> 00:15:38,364
Maybe you could come over
and help me arrange 'em.
336
00:15:42,436 --> 00:15:44,854
And after our big win,
337
00:15:44,855 --> 00:15:46,856
we're gonna bring it on home
to the state finals.
338
00:15:46,857 --> 00:15:48,524
Yeah, I'll take it
from here, Mr. McG.
339
00:15:48,525 --> 00:15:49,525
Doug Heffernan?
340
00:15:49,526 --> 00:15:51,945
Yeah, that's right.
All right...
341
00:15:51,946 --> 00:15:53,679
I got one question
for you people,
342
00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:57,033
and that is,
"What's up, Commodores?"
343
00:15:58,752 --> 00:16:01,288
Okay, see, now,
that doesn't work for me,
344
00:16:01,289 --> 00:16:03,939
'cause back where I'm from,
we used to make a lotta noise.
345
00:16:03,940 --> 00:16:08,011
I'm gonna ask you again.
What's up, Commodores?!
346
00:16:11,132 --> 00:16:13,600
That's better. Now, you guys
ready to beat Roosevelt?!
347
00:16:17,805 --> 00:16:19,405
Yeah!
348
00:16:19,406 --> 00:16:21,774
How 'bout this half
of the room? We gonna win?
349
00:16:25,496 --> 00:16:27,480
Now this half!
350
00:16:31,502 --> 00:16:33,185
Now just the sexy people!
351
00:16:36,157 --> 00:16:38,123
Yeah! That's it!
We're gonna win this game,
352
00:16:38,124 --> 00:16:39,592
and we're gonna
win every game
353
00:16:39,593 --> 00:16:42,796
till we're kissing
that championship trophy!
354
00:16:46,116 --> 00:16:47,700
And I'll tell you
something else!
355
00:16:47,701 --> 00:16:49,719
You know what Roosevelt
can kiss?
356
00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:51,954
They can kiss this!
357
00:17:09,223 --> 00:17:12,158
God's sakes,
Heffernan...
358
00:17:12,159 --> 00:17:13,660
pull your pants up.
359
00:17:21,202 --> 00:17:24,370
Okay, Arthur,
I'm here.
360
00:17:24,371 --> 00:17:27,940
It's me. Holly.
361
00:17:32,913 --> 00:17:36,182
"Lost my voice
from screaming.
362
00:17:36,183 --> 00:17:39,251
Also would like to go
to petting zoo. "
363
00:17:46,110 --> 00:17:48,260
Do you want a glass of water?
364
00:17:53,367 --> 00:17:56,669
No. No, Arthur,
you can do this.
365
00:17:56,670 --> 00:17:58,571
Yes, you can. You-
Yes, you can!
366
00:17:58,572 --> 00:17:59,638
You absolu-
367
00:17:59,639 --> 00:18:01,674
Arthur, you have to
believe in yourself!
368
00:18:01,675 --> 00:18:03,076
You have to believe
in yourself!
369
00:18:03,077 --> 00:18:04,143
You can do this!
370
00:18:04,144 --> 00:18:07,497
You can do this!
You can do this! Water!
371
00:18:07,498 --> 00:18:09,416
Water! Water!
372
00:18:09,417 --> 00:18:12,351
Water.
373
00:18:14,388 --> 00:18:16,122
Water...
374
00:18:19,059 --> 00:18:21,060
Hey.
375
00:18:21,061 --> 00:18:23,062
What are you
doing here?
376
00:18:23,063 --> 00:18:25,397
I was teaching little
Suzie Pinkus how to smoke,
377
00:18:25,398 --> 00:18:28,300
and the little princess
threw up and got us caught.
378
00:18:28,301 --> 00:18:30,403
What are you here for?
379
00:18:30,404 --> 00:18:32,638
It'll all be
in the police report.
380
00:18:37,010 --> 00:18:39,278
Hi.
381
00:18:39,279 --> 00:18:40,713
Hey.
382
00:18:40,714 --> 00:18:41,714
This your wife?
383
00:18:41,715 --> 00:18:43,049
Yeah,
this is Carrie.
384
00:18:43,050 --> 00:18:45,084
Carrie, this is
Coach Walcott.
385
00:18:45,085 --> 00:18:46,703
Hi.
Hi, Carrie.
386
00:18:46,704 --> 00:18:48,621
That short for Carlene?
387
00:18:48,622 --> 00:18:49,923
No.
388
00:18:49,924 --> 00:18:50,940
That's weird.
389
00:18:55,495 --> 00:18:56,796
You know...
390
00:18:58,716 --> 00:19:00,884
You can't, uh... smoke
391
00:19:00,885 --> 00:19:03,019
anywhere on school grounds.
392
00:19:03,020 --> 00:19:05,388
Yes, I know.
It'll never happen again.
393
00:19:05,389 --> 00:19:07,607
And as for you, Dougie...
394
00:19:07,608 --> 00:19:09,859
you pull your pants down
395
00:19:09,860 --> 00:19:10,927
when you're a little kid,
396
00:19:10,928 --> 00:19:13,229
it's cute.
397
00:19:13,230 --> 00:19:15,598
When you're approaching 40,
398
00:19:15,599 --> 00:19:17,800
shaped like you...
399
00:19:19,870 --> 00:19:22,105
it's... disturbing.
400
00:19:26,009 --> 00:19:27,976
I kn- I know that now.
401
00:19:29,330 --> 00:19:32,548
Now, I've got a story
I wanna share with you.
402
00:19:32,549 --> 00:19:35,684
Quite a few years ago,
I was...
403
00:19:35,685 --> 00:19:38,254
quite a football hero.
404
00:19:42,959 --> 00:19:45,678
You like that picture,
don't ya, Cheryl?
405
00:19:45,679 --> 00:19:47,213
Mm-hmm.
406
00:19:47,214 --> 00:19:49,882
Yeah, uh-huh! Anyway, I...
407
00:19:49,883 --> 00:19:52,602
I used to drop by
my old high school, you know.
408
00:19:52,603 --> 00:19:54,470
I didn't belong there.
409
00:19:54,471 --> 00:19:57,507
Actually, you did,
'cause...
410
00:19:57,508 --> 00:20:00,410
you're a high school
football coach, you know?
411
00:20:00,411 --> 00:20:03,212
Let me tell you
a different story.
412
00:20:03,213 --> 00:20:05,048
No, no, coach.
I think we get it.
413
00:20:05,049 --> 00:20:07,500
He's telling us
that we can't go home again.
414
00:20:07,501 --> 00:20:11,086
Exactly. Now, if you'll
just listen to Charlene...
415
00:20:13,791 --> 00:20:15,792
I've gotta get back
right away,
416
00:20:15,793 --> 00:20:18,260
because I got a librarian
coming over,
417
00:20:18,261 --> 00:20:20,563
and I gotta pick up
a bunch of books.
418
00:20:25,451 --> 00:20:27,319
I really love ya,
buddy.
419
00:20:28,388 --> 00:20:30,589
I'll see ya in...
20 years.
420
00:20:34,260 --> 00:20:37,730
So... are you
ready to leave?
421
00:20:40,484 --> 00:20:42,184
Yeah.
422
00:20:49,026 --> 00:20:50,993
So are you still mad at me?
423
00:20:50,994 --> 00:20:53,996
No. I get the whole
high school thing now.
424
00:20:53,997 --> 00:20:55,497
You do?
425
00:20:55,498 --> 00:20:56,933
Yeah. I had some fun
426
00:20:56,934 --> 00:20:59,435
in the bathroom
with some cheerleaders.
427
00:21:01,271 --> 00:21:03,772
I wanna hear that story.
428
00:21:13,783 --> 00:21:17,352
So tell me more
about your work with...
429
00:21:17,353 --> 00:21:19,055
With the blind.
430
00:21:21,608 --> 00:21:22,909
Um...
431
00:21:22,910 --> 00:21:24,493
Okay.
30105
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