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1
00:00:40,471 --> 00:00:42,706
Okay. You didn't
pause the movie.
2
00:00:42,707 --> 00:00:43,940
You didn't ask me to.
3
00:00:43,941 --> 00:00:46,042
I shouldn't
have to ask.
4
00:00:46,043 --> 00:00:48,227
If someone leaves the room,
you press pause.
5
00:00:48,228 --> 00:00:50,330
I mean,
we're not animals.
6
00:00:50,331 --> 00:00:52,666
You only missed a minute.
7
00:00:52,667 --> 00:00:54,200
Wait a second,
they're in Egypt now.
8
00:00:54,201 --> 00:00:55,869
How the hell did they
get out of Jersey?
9
00:00:55,870 --> 00:00:57,638
All right, fine.
I will rewind it.
10
00:00:58,973 --> 00:01:01,574
Great. I-I just saw Nigel
get killed in reverse.
11
00:01:01,575 --> 00:01:03,010
Well, what do you
want me to do?
12
00:01:03,011 --> 00:01:05,195
You stop
and then rewind.
13
00:01:05,196 --> 00:01:06,529
Then I'm gonna go
too far.
14
00:01:06,530 --> 00:01:07,814
That's a small price
to pay.
15
00:01:07,815 --> 00:01:09,832
O- o-okay. You know what?
New rule.
16
00:01:09,833 --> 00:01:13,370
Someone leaves the room,
you press pause.
17
00:01:13,371 --> 00:01:14,738
Yeah.
All right.
18
00:01:16,941 --> 00:01:18,041
Hello.
19
00:01:18,042 --> 00:01:19,943
Oh, hey, Lisa.
20
00:01:19,944 --> 00:01:21,645
Yeah, I have it
in my address book.
21
00:01:21,646 --> 00:01:23,647
Hang on one second.
22
00:01:23,648 --> 00:01:25,015
Yeah.
Mm.
23
00:01:25,016 --> 00:01:26,049
Yeah.
24
00:01:27,118 --> 00:01:28,152
What?
25
00:01:28,153 --> 00:01:29,619
The wedding's off?
26
00:01:29,620 --> 00:01:30,687
Oh,
my god.
27
00:01:30,688 --> 00:01:32,289
Tell me
everything.
28
00:01:40,948 --> 00:01:42,382
Okay, new rule.
29
00:01:50,374 --> 00:01:53,176
Doug. Doug, I am
trying to talk to you.
30
00:01:53,177 --> 00:01:54,544
What do you need?
31
00:01:54,545 --> 00:01:56,713
I- I-I just need more
hot sauce for my wings.
32
00:01:56,714 --> 00:01:58,331
You have plenty right there.
33
00:01:58,332 --> 00:01:59,649
Are you kidding me?
Look at my hands.
34
00:01:59,650 --> 00:02:01,050
They're almost clean.
Sh-
35
00:02:01,051 --> 00:02:03,086
Should look like
I just delivered a baby.
36
00:02:04,755 --> 00:02:07,841
Anyway, as you may
or may not know,
37
00:02:07,842 --> 00:02:09,576
it's almost
Valentine's Day-
38
00:02:09,577 --> 00:02:10,910
Yeah- Excuse me,
could I get-
39
00:02:10,911 --> 00:02:13,012
Okay, that was
intentional right there.
40
00:02:13,013 --> 00:02:14,347
Look.
41
00:02:14,348 --> 00:02:16,500
Please try and focus.
42
00:02:16,501 --> 00:02:18,551
Now, Valentine's Day
is coming up,
43
00:02:18,552 --> 00:02:20,203
and we've been kind of
slacking off,
44
00:02:20,204 --> 00:02:22,105
and I thought we could do
something special.
45
00:02:22,106 --> 00:02:24,608
Do you any id-
Okey-dokey.
46
00:02:24,609 --> 00:02:27,210
You finished with this?
Thank you.
47
00:02:27,211 --> 00:02:28,879
Okay. There. Great, thank you.
48
00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:30,814
Now I can focus, all right.
I'm all yours, baby.
49
00:02:30,815 --> 00:02:32,248
Lay it on me. Okay, good.
50
00:02:32,249 --> 00:02:33,700
So, Valentine's Day...
51
00:02:33,701 --> 00:02:36,286
Hold that thought. I just gotta
get a refill here. Oh, my God.
52
00:02:36,287 --> 00:02:37,587
Oh, jeez.
53
00:02:37,588 --> 00:02:38,956
Danny's here.
54
00:02:38,957 --> 00:02:40,407
So?
Ah.
55
00:02:40,408 --> 00:02:42,409
Some girl dumped him,
and he's all depressed.
56
00:02:42,410 --> 00:02:44,110
Depressed and annoying.
57
00:02:44,111 --> 00:02:46,712
That's a rough combo.
58
00:02:46,713 --> 00:02:47,698
Hey, guys.
59
00:02:47,699 --> 00:02:48,832
Hi, Danny.
60
00:02:48,833 --> 00:02:49,967
What you up to?
61
00:02:49,968 --> 00:02:51,001
Ah, you know,
62
00:02:51,002 --> 00:02:52,536
just grabbing a cold one
by myself.
63
00:02:53,705 --> 00:02:55,706
Don't need any lady
dragging me down.
64
00:02:57,441 --> 00:03:00,761
All alone,
just the way I like it.
65
00:03:00,762 --> 00:03:02,529
Love my alone time.
In fact, if you want-
66
00:03:02,530 --> 00:03:03,630
you know what
- take her.
67
00:03:04,799 --> 00:03:06,733
Get her out of here.
68
00:03:06,734 --> 00:03:08,585
I'm kidding.
I'll see you tomorrow, man.
69
00:03:08,586 --> 00:03:10,470
Join us.
Come on, join us.
70
00:03:10,471 --> 00:03:11,438
Oh, yeah,
okay, thanks.
71
00:03:11,439 --> 00:03:13,023
You wanna order
something to eat?
72
00:03:13,024 --> 00:03:14,323
Uh, nah.
73
00:03:14,324 --> 00:03:16,693
Just gonna drink
till they call me a cab.
74
00:03:16,694 --> 00:03:19,729
It's been working
pretty well.
75
00:03:19,730 --> 00:03:20,930
So Doug tells me
you and the girl
76
00:03:20,931 --> 00:03:22,332
you were dating
broke up?
77
00:03:22,333 --> 00:03:25,452
God, I really thought
Porsche was the one, you know?
78
00:03:25,453 --> 00:03:27,220
Then I found out
she was stripping.
79
00:03:27,221 --> 00:03:28,088
Really?
80
00:03:28,089 --> 00:03:29,573
Yeah. And not even
in a club.
81
00:03:29,574 --> 00:03:31,408
Just in general.
82
00:03:32,510 --> 00:03:33,976
I don't know what
I'm doing wrong.
83
00:03:33,977 --> 00:03:35,144
I mean...
84
00:03:35,145 --> 00:03:37,647
what was it about Doug
that attracted you?
85
00:03:37,648 --> 00:03:40,600
Actually, Danny,
very common question. Um...
86
00:03:40,601 --> 00:03:42,235
Oh, please.
87
00:03:42,236 --> 00:03:44,370
You wanted me
from the moment you saw me
88
00:03:44,371 --> 00:03:46,773
in my mesh shirt
and white jeans.
89
00:03:48,408 --> 00:03:50,026
Yeah. You're thinking
about it right now.
90
00:03:50,027 --> 00:03:51,461
You're welcome, baby.
91
00:03:53,330 --> 00:03:54,697
Actually,
that mesh shirt
92
00:03:54,698 --> 00:03:56,566
made you look like
a bag of onions.
93
00:04:00,838 --> 00:04:02,773
Sweet onions.
94
00:04:03,575 --> 00:04:06,409
That you loved to peel.
95
00:04:06,410 --> 00:04:08,178
And they wouldn't
make you cry...
96
00:04:08,179 --> 00:04:10,313
because they, uh...
97
00:04:10,314 --> 00:04:11,915
I'm done.
98
00:04:13,284 --> 00:04:15,151
Actually, Danny,
what attracted me to Doug
99
00:04:15,152 --> 00:04:16,787
was that
he was, um...
100
00:04:16,788 --> 00:04:18,855
He was a nice guy,
and he made me laugh.
101
00:04:18,856 --> 00:04:21,825
And, um...
he surprised me.
102
00:04:21,826 --> 00:04:22,975
Really? How?
103
00:04:22,976 --> 00:04:24,961
Well, um,
one night,
104
00:04:24,962 --> 00:04:26,696
when we were first dating
- Oh.
105
00:04:26,697 --> 00:04:28,231
What?
It's adora-
106
00:04:28,232 --> 00:04:30,700
We were dating, and I wasn't
totally sold on him yet.
107
00:04:30,701 --> 00:04:32,903
And we're just out walking,
and he gets real silent.
108
00:04:32,904 --> 00:04:34,905
And I turn to him and I go,
"What's the matter?"
109
00:04:34,906 --> 00:04:36,206
And he says, um...
110
00:04:36,207 --> 00:04:37,440
No, you tell him.
111
00:04:37,441 --> 00:04:38,441
It's nothing!
112
00:04:38,442 --> 00:04:40,010
Tell him. Tell him.
All right.
113
00:04:40,011 --> 00:04:43,246
I just said, "You didn't just
save my life, brown eyes...
114
00:04:43,247 --> 00:04:45,916
you made my life
worth saving. "
115
00:04:45,917 --> 00:04:48,268
Isn't that beautiful?
116
00:04:48,269 --> 00:04:50,470
Truck driver, poet.
Somebody signed up
117
00:04:50,471 --> 00:04:52,239
for the premium package.
118
00:04:52,840 --> 00:04:54,274
Yes, I did.
119
00:04:54,275 --> 00:04:55,275
And you know what?
120
00:04:55,276 --> 00:04:56,709
That line
just showed me
121
00:04:56,710 --> 00:04:58,078
that Doug wasn't
just this big,
122
00:04:58,079 --> 00:05:01,248
goofy jock, you know?
123
00:05:01,249 --> 00:05:03,249
You see that right there?
Th-that's what I want.
124
00:05:03,250 --> 00:05:06,119
Ah, you know, why can't I
find a great girl?
125
00:05:06,120 --> 00:05:07,504
I could tell you
the truth, but...
126
00:05:07,505 --> 00:05:08,872
it'd feel like
a donkey kick.
127
00:05:10,041 --> 00:05:11,574
You know what it is,
Danny?
128
00:05:11,575 --> 00:05:14,211
Every girl you meet, you- You
say that she's it, you know?
129
00:05:14,212 --> 00:05:15,444
I know, I know.
130
00:05:15,445 --> 00:05:17,414
And relationships aren't
like that, you know?
131
00:05:17,415 --> 00:05:19,982
I mean, sex is important,
but you gotta be friends first.
132
00:05:19,983 --> 00:05:22,652
You gotta connect
on emotional level.
133
00:05:22,653 --> 00:05:24,354
Really?
Yeah. Right, honey?
134
00:05:24,355 --> 00:05:26,773
You know what I need?
Some blue cheese. That's all.
135
00:05:28,842 --> 00:05:30,894
Ah. Buddy, can I
get another one?
136
00:05:36,300 --> 00:05:38,001
Just leave
the bottle.
137
00:05:44,208 --> 00:05:45,776
Oh.
Hey, Danny.
138
00:05:45,777 --> 00:05:47,577
Holly. What are you
doing here?
139
00:05:47,578 --> 00:05:49,179
Oh, my apartment's
being fumigated,
140
00:05:49,180 --> 00:05:50,547
so I have to be out
for the night.
141
00:05:50,548 --> 00:05:52,149
And I just broke up
with my boyfriend,
142
00:05:52,150 --> 00:05:54,818
so there goes
crashing in his van.
143
00:05:54,819 --> 00:05:57,453
And after I just
carpeted it. Ugh!
144
00:05:58,622 --> 00:06:01,091
Well, if it makes you
feel any better,
145
00:06:01,092 --> 00:06:02,759
I just broke up
with my girlfriend too.
146
00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:05,195
Well- I thought
she broke up with you.
147
00:06:05,196 --> 00:06:07,563
What is it,
in the papers?
148
00:06:07,564 --> 00:06:08,898
Oh, don't worry
about it.
149
00:06:08,899 --> 00:06:10,900
I mean, relationships suck,
right, Danny?
150
00:06:10,901 --> 00:06:12,736
Ugh. Tell me
about it.
151
00:06:12,737 --> 00:06:14,204
I mean,
I'll tell you one guy
152
00:06:14,205 --> 00:06:15,939
that'll never
let you down though.
153
00:06:15,940 --> 00:06:18,007
Mr. Samuel Adams.
Mm-hm.
154
00:06:18,008 --> 00:06:19,776
You know who else
is always there for you?
155
00:06:19,777 --> 00:06:21,211
Mr. Jack Daniels!
156
00:06:21,212 --> 00:06:22,712
Let's go, barkeep.
157
00:06:28,953 --> 00:06:30,854
All right, this will
just take two seconds,
158
00:06:30,855 --> 00:06:32,522
and we'll get
right back to the office.
159
00:06:32,523 --> 00:06:33,723
Oh, no rush.
160
00:06:33,724 --> 00:06:36,026
Wednesday afternoons
my boss has his affair.
161
00:06:36,027 --> 00:06:37,460
Thanks a lot.
162
00:06:37,461 --> 00:06:39,128
Hi, can I help you? Yes, hi.
163
00:06:39,129 --> 00:06:41,431
I bought a beer mug
here last week,
164
00:06:41,432 --> 00:06:43,900
and I want to have
something engraved on it.
165
00:06:43,901 --> 00:06:45,584
No problem. Let me
just get my pad. Okay.
166
00:06:45,585 --> 00:06:47,069
What are you
putting on it?
167
00:06:47,070 --> 00:06:49,005
Oh, just something Doug
said to me
168
00:06:49,006 --> 00:06:50,206
when we were
first dating.
169
00:06:50,207 --> 00:06:52,776
And, uh, I was just thinking
about it yesterday.
170
00:06:52,777 --> 00:06:54,960
What did he say?
Oh, well,
171
00:06:54,961 --> 00:06:57,013
we were just out walking
and out of the blue he said, um,
172
00:06:57,014 --> 00:06:59,149
"You didn't just save my life,
brown eyes,
173
00:06:59,150 --> 00:07:02,652
you made my life
worth saving. "
174
00:07:02,653 --> 00:07:03,920
Ohh.
Ohh.
175
00:07:03,921 --> 00:07:05,989
That is
so sweet.
176
00:07:05,990 --> 00:07:07,974
Isn't it? I know. I just
wanted to find a cute way
177
00:07:07,975 --> 00:07:09,859
to tell him that
I feel the same way.
178
00:07:09,860 --> 00:07:11,828
And with the amount of beer
he drinks, um...
179
00:07:11,829 --> 00:07:13,196
he'll see it a lot.
180
00:07:13,197 --> 00:07:14,464
Okay.
Yeah.
181
00:07:14,465 --> 00:07:16,649
Okay. What would you
like on it?
182
00:07:16,650 --> 00:07:18,468
Okay. Uh, right across
the front,
183
00:07:18,469 --> 00:07:19,702
I would like it to say,
184
00:07:19,703 --> 00:07:22,472
"You didn't just save my life,
brown eyes,
185
00:07:22,473 --> 00:07:25,775
you made my life
worth saving. "
186
00:07:26,944 --> 00:07:29,378
That's excellent.
187
00:07:30,648 --> 00:07:33,116
What-?
What's so funny?
188
00:07:33,117 --> 00:07:34,984
No, it's just-
I love that movie.
189
00:07:34,985 --> 00:07:36,669
What movie?
190
00:07:36,670 --> 00:07:38,321
McCormick and JoJo?
191
00:07:38,322 --> 00:07:40,573
You're saying that line
came from a movie?
192
00:07:40,574 --> 00:07:42,375
Yeah. Erik Estrada
plays a cop,
193
00:07:42,376 --> 00:07:44,928
and he says it at the end
to his partner, JoJo.
194
00:07:44,929 --> 00:07:46,162
The monkey?
195
00:07:47,632 --> 00:07:49,866
He says it to a monkey?
196
00:07:49,867 --> 00:07:50,733
Yeah.
197
00:07:50,734 --> 00:07:52,485
We'll see you back
at the office.
198
00:07:52,486 --> 00:07:54,053
Okay. Yeah, yeah,
I'll see you there.
199
00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:04,880
Danny, did you hide
my lactose pills again?
200
00:08:06,382 --> 00:08:10,385
You know, I'm glad you think
my condition is so funny.
201
00:08:13,088 --> 00:08:14,723
Oh. Hey, Spence.
202
00:08:14,724 --> 00:08:16,324
Holly?
203
00:08:16,325 --> 00:08:18,543
Hey. Good morning,
buddy.
204
00:08:18,544 --> 00:08:19,944
Okay...
205
00:08:21,480 --> 00:08:24,198
Oh, hey, I just wanna say
thanks again for last night.
206
00:08:24,199 --> 00:08:26,484
Oh, hey. Thank you
so much for everything.
207
00:08:27,819 --> 00:08:28,769
See you guys later.
208
00:08:29,922 --> 00:08:31,306
Hey, nice P.J.s
there, buddy.
209
00:08:31,307 --> 00:08:32,740
I like
the Western theme.
210
00:08:32,741 --> 00:08:34,942
What do you got, a little
bucking bronco there? Ooh!
211
00:08:36,011 --> 00:08:37,078
I kid 'cause
I'm in love.
212
00:08:39,315 --> 00:08:41,249
Did Holly spend the night?
213
00:08:41,250 --> 00:08:42,968
No, no, no. She just
came here this morning
214
00:08:42,969 --> 00:08:43,969
to put on her shoes.
215
00:08:43,970 --> 00:08:45,737
Yeah, she spent the night.
216
00:08:47,373 --> 00:08:48,473
Why?
217
00:08:48,474 --> 00:08:50,242
Well, her apartment's
being fumigated.
218
00:08:50,243 --> 00:08:51,893
I told her she could
crash on my couch.
219
00:08:51,894 --> 00:08:53,595
And then she-
She makes up some story
220
00:08:53,596 --> 00:08:55,297
about it having
a busted spring
221
00:08:55,298 --> 00:08:57,098
that made her feel
uncomfortable.
222
00:08:57,099 --> 00:08:58,967
There is
a busted spring.
223
00:08:58,968 --> 00:09:01,302
Anyway, point is
that, uh, you know,
224
00:09:01,303 --> 00:09:02,737
I was gentlemanly enough
225
00:09:02,738 --> 00:09:05,473
to, uh, give her refuge
in my bedroom.
226
00:09:05,474 --> 00:09:06,674
Oh, my God.
227
00:09:06,675 --> 00:09:08,943
So you guys actually
slept together?
228
00:09:08,944 --> 00:09:10,728
Yup.
Emphasis...
229
00:09:10,729 --> 00:09:12,497
on slept.
230
00:09:13,649 --> 00:09:15,784
I- Wait- So wait a minute.
So you guys didn't-
231
00:09:15,785 --> 00:09:17,819
No. No,
we did not.
232
00:09:19,355 --> 00:09:21,255
We didn't touch
all night.
233
00:09:21,256 --> 00:09:23,424
What are you bragging about?
234
00:09:23,425 --> 00:09:26,761
See, relationships
aren't just about sex.
235
00:09:26,762 --> 00:09:28,263
You gotta be friends
with someone.
236
00:09:28,264 --> 00:09:30,732
You gotta connect
emotionally, you know.
237
00:09:30,733 --> 00:09:32,800
And the fact that she did not
sleep with me
238
00:09:32,801 --> 00:09:34,635
proves she's into me
as a person.
239
00:09:43,763 --> 00:09:45,764
Hey. I was thinking
about what you said.
240
00:09:45,765 --> 00:09:47,265
You wanted to do
something special
241
00:09:47,266 --> 00:09:48,532
for Valentine's Day.
242
00:09:48,533 --> 00:09:51,636
Well, what says
I love you
243
00:09:51,637 --> 00:09:55,573
more than seeing
a Van Halen cover band...
244
00:09:55,574 --> 00:09:57,708
followed by...
245
00:09:57,709 --> 00:09:59,377
a candlelit dinner
246
00:09:59,378 --> 00:10:01,712
at the restaurant
of your choosing?
247
00:10:01,713 --> 00:10:03,915
As long as
they serve chili.
248
00:10:05,751 --> 00:10:08,019
Okay. We'll see.
249
00:10:09,088 --> 00:10:10,421
What's all this?
250
00:10:10,422 --> 00:10:13,992
Oh, I just got us some
takeout from Shanghai Gardens,
251
00:10:13,993 --> 00:10:15,893
and I rented us a movie
to watch.
252
00:10:15,894 --> 00:10:17,362
Oh.
253
00:10:17,363 --> 00:10:18,830
Cool!
Yeah.
254
00:10:18,831 --> 00:10:20,097
What'd y-?
What'd you get?
255
00:10:20,098 --> 00:10:21,866
Oh, just a little movie
from the '80s
256
00:10:21,867 --> 00:10:23,635
that caught my fancy.
257
00:10:25,504 --> 00:10:27,439
McCormick and JoJo.
258
00:10:30,175 --> 00:10:32,844
Hang on, JoJo. Hang on!
259
00:10:37,166 --> 00:10:39,050
McCormick,
get the hell outta there!
260
00:10:39,051 --> 00:10:40,585
JoJo's here. No way-
261
00:10:40,586 --> 00:10:42,487
This doesn't look like
the beginning.
262
00:10:42,488 --> 00:10:43,722
No, Doug,
it's more like the end.
263
00:10:43,723 --> 00:10:46,190
Don't you die on me.
264
00:10:46,191 --> 00:10:47,925
Don't you leave me!
265
00:10:47,926 --> 00:10:49,827
Let me tell you
something.
266
00:10:49,828 --> 00:10:52,429
You didn't just save
my life, brown eyes,
267
00:10:52,430 --> 00:10:54,365
you made my life
worth saving.
268
00:11:11,717 --> 00:11:14,118
Case you were wondering,
JoJo makes it.
269
00:11:14,119 --> 00:11:16,487
I can't believe you!
270
00:11:16,488 --> 00:11:18,256
Take it easy, Carrie.
271
00:11:18,257 --> 00:11:19,857
Doug, do you know how
humiliated I was?
272
00:11:19,858 --> 00:11:20,958
I mean,
there I was
273
00:11:20,959 --> 00:11:22,893
bragging about how
romantic my husband is,
274
00:11:22,894 --> 00:11:25,096
about how beautiful
this line was.
275
00:11:25,097 --> 00:11:26,364
And a clerk in the store
tells me
276
00:11:26,365 --> 00:11:28,400
it was originally said
to a monkey!
277
00:11:28,401 --> 00:11:30,468
A monkey
that knows karate.
278
00:11:30,469 --> 00:11:31,453
Oh, my God.
279
00:11:31,454 --> 00:11:33,721
And when I think about
all the times I told this story.
280
00:11:33,722 --> 00:11:35,089
People must think
I'm an idiot.
281
00:11:35,090 --> 00:11:37,525
Carrie, hardly anyone saw
McCormick and JoJo.
282
00:11:37,526 --> 00:11:39,661
It came out the same time
as Turner and Hooch
283
00:11:39,662 --> 00:11:42,764
and just got steamrolled.
284
00:11:42,765 --> 00:11:44,148
Let me ask you
a question, Doug.
285
00:11:44,149 --> 00:11:45,483
When you call me brown eyes,
286
00:11:45,484 --> 00:11:48,553
are you thinking about me
or the monkey?
287
00:11:48,554 --> 00:11:50,921
Almost always you.
Okay, that's-
288
00:11:50,922 --> 00:11:52,473
I'm kidding!
Come on-
289
00:11:52,474 --> 00:11:54,142
This happened
10 years ago.
290
00:11:54,143 --> 00:11:56,077
I've done tons
worse stuff since then.
291
00:11:56,078 --> 00:11:57,578
Doug, you don't
understand.
292
00:11:57,579 --> 00:11:59,330
Okay, when you said
that line to me,
293
00:11:59,331 --> 00:12:01,132
it was at a time when
I wasn't sure about us.
294
00:12:01,133 --> 00:12:03,201
I didn't know if I wanted
to get serious with you.
295
00:12:03,202 --> 00:12:04,468
And do you know
296
00:12:04,469 --> 00:12:06,403
that there was a guy
that was interested in me
297
00:12:06,404 --> 00:12:07,805
who was a med student
at Columbia
298
00:12:07,806 --> 00:12:09,273
and on the rowing team.
299
00:12:09,274 --> 00:12:12,744
Today he's an orthopedic
surgeon in the city.
300
00:12:12,745 --> 00:12:15,113
But I chose you.
301
00:12:16,365 --> 00:12:18,049
That's gotta sting.
302
00:12:21,353 --> 00:12:24,255
The point is, Doug,
I really liked you,
303
00:12:24,256 --> 00:12:27,091
but that line
put it over the top.
304
00:12:27,092 --> 00:12:28,726
I mean, when you
could reach down
305
00:12:28,727 --> 00:12:31,695
a- and come up with something
so heartfelt and beautiful.
306
00:12:31,696 --> 00:12:35,032
I mean, that really told me
something about you.
307
00:12:35,033 --> 00:12:37,135
But it turns out
it was just a lie.
308
00:12:37,136 --> 00:12:38,987
I- I stole the line, oh-
But you know what?
309
00:12:38,988 --> 00:12:40,221
Let me tell you something.
310
00:12:40,222 --> 00:12:41,990
I've said so many other
beautiful things
311
00:12:41,991 --> 00:12:44,258
that were all me. Really? Like what?
312
00:12:45,194 --> 00:12:46,761
I- Just last week
313
00:12:46,762 --> 00:12:48,796
at Deacon and Kelly's.
314
00:12:48,797 --> 00:12:50,481
Are you talking
about when you said
315
00:12:50,482 --> 00:12:52,883
I would make
a good-looking guy?
316
00:12:53,769 --> 00:12:55,987
Yeah.
317
00:12:55,988 --> 00:12:57,188
You throw on
a denim jacket
318
00:12:57,189 --> 00:12:58,856
and you cut
your hair short,
319
00:12:58,857 --> 00:13:01,125
you got a nice
Ralph Macchio thing going.
320
00:13:02,111 --> 00:13:04,295
And you think
that's beautiful.
321
00:13:04,296 --> 00:13:06,597
It's pretty solid.
322
00:13:06,598 --> 00:13:08,816
Look, Carrie, we've been
married for 10 years,
323
00:13:08,817 --> 00:13:10,135
and it's working.
324
00:13:10,136 --> 00:13:11,936
You know, so I stole
a line from a movie.
325
00:13:11,937 --> 00:13:13,505
Who cares?
326
00:13:13,506 --> 00:13:15,273
Who cares?
That's the way you feel?
327
00:13:15,274 --> 00:13:16,307
I- I mean that
in a good way.
328
00:13:16,308 --> 00:13:17,675
I mean, look,
when we first met,
329
00:13:17,676 --> 00:13:19,177
we had to be at our best.
330
00:13:19,178 --> 00:13:23,181
But now it's like I'm fat,
you're mean, who cares?
331
00:13:28,470 --> 00:13:30,138
I care.
332
00:13:30,139 --> 00:13:32,339
Oh, okay, I understand
what this is about now.
333
00:13:32,340 --> 00:13:34,108
All right, all right,
I'm getting it now.
334
00:13:34,109 --> 00:13:35,877
You're just-
You're gonna bust my chops
335
00:13:35,878 --> 00:13:37,445
till I come up
with another line.
336
00:13:37,446 --> 00:13:39,180
No, Doug, I don't want
another line, okay?
337
00:13:39,181 --> 00:13:41,332
Oh, well, too bad,
'cause you're getting one.
338
00:13:41,333 --> 00:13:44,486
Well, you better get moving.
Blockbuster closes at 10.
339
00:13:44,487 --> 00:13:46,871
I don't need Blockbuster.
This is gonna be all me.
340
00:13:46,872 --> 00:13:48,706
It's gonna be so touching
and heartfelt,
341
00:13:48,707 --> 00:13:50,375
you're gonna feel like
a piece of crap.
342
00:13:51,443 --> 00:13:53,611
A piece of crap!
343
00:14:04,822 --> 00:14:06,806
Hey, guy.
344
00:14:06,807 --> 00:14:08,141
Hm.
345
00:14:11,712 --> 00:14:13,679
Uh, well,
this is awkward,
346
00:14:13,680 --> 00:14:16,098
'cause I didn't
get you anything.
347
00:14:16,099 --> 00:14:18,251
Funny.
It's for Holly.
348
00:14:18,252 --> 00:14:20,370
You got her
a Valentine's Day gift?
349
00:14:20,371 --> 00:14:22,038
Does she even know?
350
00:14:22,039 --> 00:14:22,806
I have a call in to her.
351
00:14:22,807 --> 00:14:24,757
But she hasn't
called you back.
352
00:14:24,758 --> 00:14:27,827
All part of the dance.
353
00:14:27,828 --> 00:14:30,563
Is this
a two-person dance or...
354
00:14:30,564 --> 00:14:32,933
Okay, look, y-y-you wanna see me
talk to her?
355
00:14:32,934 --> 00:14:34,301
'Cause I'll call her
right now.
356
00:14:40,291 --> 00:14:44,160
Ah, phone machine.
She's probably screening.
357
00:14:44,161 --> 00:14:46,245
Oh, hey, Hol, it's, uh-
It's me. Are you there?
358
00:14:46,246 --> 00:14:47,781
Pick up.
359
00:14:47,782 --> 00:14:49,449
If you're there,
pick up, Holly.
360
00:14:49,450 --> 00:14:50,783
It's me.
361
00:14:50,784 --> 00:14:52,852
Pick up. Pick up, pick up,
pick up, pick up-
362
00:14:54,989 --> 00:14:57,840
Uh, I got about 70 dead
cockroaches under the bed,
363
00:14:57,841 --> 00:14:59,776
and I think you might have
some rat droppings
364
00:14:59,777 --> 00:15:01,244
behind
the radiator.
365
00:15:01,245 --> 00:15:03,129
Hey.
366
00:15:03,130 --> 00:15:05,131
Are your eyes blue?
367
00:15:07,151 --> 00:15:09,419
If you want 'em to be.
368
00:15:12,272 --> 00:15:13,273
So...
369
00:15:13,274 --> 00:15:15,375
uh, tag, you're it.
370
00:15:18,679 --> 00:15:21,932
She's probably out getting
my Valentine's Day gift.
371
00:15:21,933 --> 00:15:25,584
Yeah. That's probably
what she's doing right now.
372
00:15:25,585 --> 00:15:27,153
God.
373
00:15:27,154 --> 00:15:29,172
Oh. Okay.
374
00:15:30,407 --> 00:15:32,943
I think I know
what's going on here.
375
00:15:32,944 --> 00:15:35,194
You're down about
my relationship with Holly
376
00:15:35,195 --> 00:15:37,047
because you don't
have anyone right now.
377
00:15:37,048 --> 00:15:38,064
Danny, I-
Oh.
378
00:15:38,065 --> 00:15:39,533
And here I am,
walking around,
379
00:15:39,534 --> 00:15:42,769
bragging and showing off
the fantastic bear I got her.
380
00:15:42,770 --> 00:15:44,671
Okay, you're completely
delusional.
381
00:15:44,672 --> 00:15:48,975
Oh. You are in so much pain,
buddy, aren't you?
382
00:15:48,976 --> 00:15:51,578
Don't worry.
It'll happen for you.
383
00:15:51,579 --> 00:15:52,712
One of these days,
384
00:15:52,713 --> 00:15:55,281
you'll have
exactly what I have.
385
00:16:04,808 --> 00:16:06,208
Okay, how about this?
386
00:16:06,209 --> 00:16:07,710
"Carrie...
387
00:16:07,711 --> 00:16:10,330
"my love
for you...
388
00:16:10,331 --> 00:16:11,731
"is...
389
00:16:11,732 --> 00:16:13,032
good. "
390
00:16:15,503 --> 00:16:17,053
All right,
come on, concentrate.
391
00:16:17,054 --> 00:16:18,855
If my love...
392
00:16:18,856 --> 00:16:21,925
for you
was a season...
393
00:16:21,926 --> 00:16:24,093
it would be fall...
394
00:16:24,094 --> 00:16:26,529
'cause I fell f-for you.
395
00:16:28,916 --> 00:16:31,767
I- it would be autumn,
'cause my love is...
396
00:16:31,768 --> 00:16:33,203
automatic.
397
00:16:34,805 --> 00:16:37,757
Oh, my God, you sound
like a gay serial killer, man.
398
00:16:37,758 --> 00:16:38,958
Let me help you out.
399
00:16:38,959 --> 00:16:40,826
I'm a wordsmith.
400
00:16:40,827 --> 00:16:43,179
No help, okay? That's how
I got in trouble the first time.
401
00:16:44,348 --> 00:16:46,683
My God,
I got nothing here.
402
00:16:46,684 --> 00:16:48,752
Look at this, I-I got rhymes.
That's all I got.
403
00:16:48,753 --> 00:16:50,787
"Love, dove.
404
00:16:50,788 --> 00:16:52,922
"Hitler, Bette Midler. "
405
00:16:52,923 --> 00:16:54,824
What the hell
am I doing?
406
00:16:54,825 --> 00:16:56,793
Hey, Doug, do you get
any reception in here?
407
00:16:56,794 --> 00:16:59,195
Oh, man, your phone's fine.
Holly's not gonna call.
408
00:16:59,196 --> 00:17:00,329
Yes, she is.
409
00:17:00,330 --> 00:17:02,581
I'm your valentine.
410
00:17:02,582 --> 00:17:05,718
Just give me the bear,
and let's end the charade.
411
00:17:05,719 --> 00:17:08,071
Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys.
How about this?
412
00:17:08,072 --> 00:17:10,139
"You're not just who I love,
413
00:17:10,140 --> 00:17:12,175
you're who I am. "
414
00:17:13,294 --> 00:17:15,295
That's actually
pretty good.
415
00:17:15,296 --> 00:17:17,731
And you came up with that
all by yourself?
416
00:17:17,732 --> 00:17:19,132
Yeah, I did.
I mean,
417
00:17:19,133 --> 00:17:20,984
"You're not just who I love,
you're who I am. "
418
00:17:20,985 --> 00:17:23,202
That- That's it.
That's my line.
419
00:17:23,203 --> 00:17:24,938
It's Holly.
Anyone home?
420
00:17:26,373 --> 00:17:27,507
Well, well, well.
421
00:17:27,508 --> 00:17:29,275
Look who finally
tracked me down.
422
00:17:29,276 --> 00:17:31,577
Guess you can kiss
the bear goodbye.
423
00:17:32,746 --> 00:17:34,197
Hey, Hol.
Oh, hey, Carrie.
424
00:17:34,198 --> 00:17:36,549
I just stopped by to drop off
a Valentine's Day card
425
00:17:36,550 --> 00:17:39,002
and my bill for your dad.
Oh, okay. Thanks.
426
00:17:39,003 --> 00:17:40,269
Hey, we better
get moving.
427
00:17:40,270 --> 00:17:42,038
I wanna wash this pesticide
out of my hair
428
00:17:42,039 --> 00:17:43,139
before we hit Bennigan's.
429
00:17:44,525 --> 00:17:47,760
Oh, hey, Carrie. This is Rick.
He's my exterminator.
430
00:17:47,761 --> 00:17:49,028
How nice.
431
00:17:49,029 --> 00:17:50,964
So you happy
with your current bug guy?
432
00:17:50,965 --> 00:17:53,266
He's fantastic.
433
00:17:53,267 --> 00:17:54,534
I'll keep him in mind.
Thank you.
434
00:17:54,535 --> 00:17:55,935
Hey, Hol.
Hey, Danny.
435
00:17:55,936 --> 00:17:58,204
Aw. Cute bear.
Bye.
436
00:17:58,205 --> 00:17:59,255
Bye.
437
00:17:59,256 --> 00:18:00,590
Ho- Holly!
438
00:18:00,591 --> 00:18:02,225
Carrie, I got something
to tell you.
439
00:18:02,226 --> 00:18:04,411
You're not just who I love,
you're who I am.
440
00:18:04,412 --> 00:18:05,945
Holly!
441
00:18:05,946 --> 00:18:08,715
Hey! You stole
my line!
442
00:18:08,716 --> 00:18:10,833
Danny just stole my line! What?
443
00:18:10,834 --> 00:18:12,769
You're not just who I love,
you're who I am.
444
00:18:12,770 --> 00:18:14,170
That's my line.
445
00:18:14,171 --> 00:18:16,256
Doug, I told you,
I don't want another line.
446
00:18:16,257 --> 00:18:18,424
You're just saying that
'cause Danny just said it.
447
00:18:18,425 --> 00:18:20,994
'Cause if I would've said it,
it would have looked like this:
448
00:18:20,995 --> 00:18:23,863
I'm telling- You'd be
cooking me eggs in lingerie.
449
00:18:23,864 --> 00:18:26,215
Okay.
Whatever you say.
450
00:18:26,216 --> 00:18:28,001
Okay, you know what?
That- That's it.
451
00:18:28,002 --> 00:18:29,803
Forget it. I-I-I've
had it. I can't-
452
00:18:29,804 --> 00:18:31,237
I can't do this.
453
00:18:33,974 --> 00:18:36,275
There's like
50 pages here.
454
00:18:36,276 --> 00:18:37,643
Yeah, I know.
455
00:18:37,644 --> 00:18:40,112
Is that the Arby's logo?
456
00:18:40,113 --> 00:18:42,531
Part of my process.
457
00:18:42,532 --> 00:18:44,850
"Hitler, Bette Midler"?
458
00:18:44,851 --> 00:18:46,519
I don't know what
I was doing there, okay.
459
00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:48,821
All I know is I got all these
feelings inside in a safe,
460
00:18:48,822 --> 00:18:50,289
and I'm trying to get
the combo out
461
00:18:50,290 --> 00:18:51,491
before the thing goes off.
462
00:18:51,492 --> 00:18:53,393
And I'm, like,
duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-
463
00:18:53,394 --> 00:18:55,227
Get it out!
'Cause the love wants to flow.
464
00:18:55,228 --> 00:18:56,229
Doug.
The love-
465
00:18:56,230 --> 00:18:57,246
Doug.
466
00:18:57,247 --> 00:18:59,048
Honey.
- paper.
467
00:18:59,049 --> 00:19:00,834
I think I got
what I needed.
468
00:19:00,835 --> 00:19:04,187
But, uh, I didn't come up
with a great line. I didn't-
469
00:19:04,188 --> 00:19:05,888
Because I didn't want
another line.
470
00:19:05,889 --> 00:19:08,024
I just wanted you to do
something from your heart,
471
00:19:08,025 --> 00:19:09,459
and you did.
472
00:19:09,460 --> 00:19:12,028
I mean, the fact that you were
willing to work this hard-
473
00:19:12,029 --> 00:19:15,431
I mean... this means
something to me.
474
00:19:15,432 --> 00:19:16,549
Yeah, but I just-
475
00:19:16,550 --> 00:19:18,484
I just wanted to come up
with a great line.
476
00:19:18,485 --> 00:19:21,487
Honey. And I bet you there is
gonna be something in here
477
00:19:21,488 --> 00:19:23,956
that knocks me
right off my feet.
478
00:19:23,957 --> 00:19:25,324
Really?
Yeah.
479
00:19:35,202 --> 00:19:37,503
You know, uh, that there...
Yeah, no. No.
480
00:19:42,042 --> 00:19:42,975
Yeah.
481
00:19:45,279 --> 00:19:46,279
Mm.
482
00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:47,213
No?
No.
483
00:19:48,315 --> 00:19:49,315
See, now I thought-
484
00:19:49,316 --> 00:19:50,316
Yeah.
Don't love it.
485
00:19:50,317 --> 00:19:51,517
I don't love it.
486
00:19:58,058 --> 00:19:59,659
Anything?
You know what?
487
00:19:59,660 --> 00:20:01,244
I'm just gonna go
with the Arby's logo.
488
00:20:28,322 --> 00:20:29,772
All right!
489
00:20:34,844 --> 00:20:38,014
Here. Don't tell
anybody about this.
490
00:20:38,015 --> 00:20:39,382
Happy Valentine's Day.
491
00:20:39,383 --> 00:20:40,883
Shut up.
34371
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