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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,923 --> 00:00:11,291 - all of U.S. intelligence 2 00:00:11,292 --> 00:00:12,226 in more than 50 years... 3 00:00:12,227 --> 00:00:14,595 Do you mind? I'm trying to read. 4 00:00:14,596 --> 00:00:15,646 That's yesterday's news. 5 00:00:15,647 --> 00:00:17,614 I need up-to-the-minute coverage. 6 00:00:17,615 --> 00:00:20,684 President's says he's happy to have it, but has not yet... 7 00:00:20,685 --> 00:00:22,986 There you go, all right? There. 8 00:00:22,987 --> 00:00:24,688 I can't hear. Okay, well, I can't read. 9 00:00:24,689 --> 00:00:26,089 Yea- Here, fine. You know what? 10 00:00:26,090 --> 00:00:27,957 There. Closed captioning. 11 00:00:27,958 --> 00:00:29,393 You happy now? 12 00:00:29,394 --> 00:00:32,662 Huh, those clever Japanese have done it again. 13 00:00:32,663 --> 00:00:34,998 "Investigators believe a faulty hair dryer 14 00:00:34,999 --> 00:00:36,500 "was the cause of the blaze. 15 00:00:36,501 --> 00:00:37,934 "Speaking of bad-hair days, 16 00:00:37,935 --> 00:00:40,788 here's Curtis with the weather. Chuckles. " 17 00:00:40,789 --> 00:00:42,356 You-? You're kidding, right? 18 00:00:42,357 --> 00:00:45,642 Sorry, I'm having trouble following this. 19 00:00:45,643 --> 00:00:47,010 You can help me if you could read 20 00:00:47,011 --> 00:00:48,962 the part of Sue Simmons. 21 00:00:48,963 --> 00:00:51,198 Yeah, it's not gonna happen. 22 00:00:53,084 --> 00:00:54,935 "There is a cold front rolling in from the north, 23 00:00:54,936 --> 00:00:57,337 colliding with a high-pressure symptom. " 24 00:00:57,338 --> 00:00:59,139 It's "system. " 25 00:00:59,140 --> 00:00:59,989 It says "symptom. " 26 00:00:59,990 --> 00:01:01,858 Okay, well, they obviously made a mistake! 27 00:01:01,859 --> 00:01:03,627 Well, how can I trust anything they say?! 28 00:01:03,628 --> 00:01:05,228 Okay, fine, here you go! Okay? There! 29 00:01:05,229 --> 00:01:06,630 That loud enough? 30 00:01:06,631 --> 00:01:08,899 "On the lighter side of the news, 31 00:01:08,900 --> 00:01:10,834 "a cat was rescued from a well today. 32 00:01:10,835 --> 00:01:12,201 "When asked to comment, 33 00:01:12,202 --> 00:01:17,274 the fire chief said the mission was purr-fect. " 34 00:01:58,415 --> 00:02:00,032 Let's go. 35 00:02:17,050 --> 00:02:19,084 Okay. 36 00:02:31,481 --> 00:02:33,581 Come on. 37 00:02:43,410 --> 00:02:45,611 Nothing fit her, huh? 38 00:02:46,579 --> 00:02:48,697 That is not good. 39 00:02:48,698 --> 00:02:49,898 It gets worse. 40 00:02:49,899 --> 00:02:51,800 Guess what she came down the stairs wearing. 41 00:02:51,801 --> 00:02:54,353 Sweatpants. 42 00:02:54,354 --> 00:02:56,839 So what? Lot of girls wear sweatpants. 43 00:02:56,840 --> 00:02:58,674 My sweatpants. 44 00:02:58,675 --> 00:03:00,476 Ooh. 45 00:03:00,477 --> 00:03:02,311 Why don't you tell her she needs to lose weight? 46 00:03:02,312 --> 00:03:04,814 Oh, yeah, that's a good idea. Why don't I just write up a list 47 00:03:04,815 --> 00:03:06,381 of other women I wanna have sex with? 48 00:03:06,382 --> 00:03:08,984 "Here. Hey, huh? Hey, honey, you knew some of these. 49 00:03:08,985 --> 00:03:11,987 The- Some are you are friends. You know 'em all. " 50 00:03:11,988 --> 00:03:13,555 Idiot. 51 00:03:13,556 --> 00:03:14,923 Uh, this is a tough one. 52 00:03:14,924 --> 00:03:16,909 I had the same situation with Kelly. 53 00:03:16,910 --> 00:03:18,110 But she just lost weight. 54 00:03:18,111 --> 00:03:19,945 Yeah, only 'cause she got food poisoning. 55 00:03:19,946 --> 00:03:21,713 Hm. 56 00:03:21,714 --> 00:03:23,949 So in order for your plan to work, 57 00:03:23,950 --> 00:03:25,918 I gotta give Carrie some undercooked chicken 58 00:03:25,919 --> 00:03:27,619 or something. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 59 00:03:27,620 --> 00:03:29,488 It wasn't a plan to give her food poisoning. 60 00:03:29,489 --> 00:03:30,656 I just got lucky. 61 00:03:32,459 --> 00:03:33,709 Yeah, and not for nothing, guy, 62 00:03:33,710 --> 00:03:35,493 but, uh, aren't you a little out of line, 63 00:03:35,494 --> 00:03:37,529 you know, getting on Carrie about her weight? 64 00:03:37,530 --> 00:03:40,933 You're not exactly Mackenzie Phillips. 65 00:03:40,934 --> 00:03:42,301 Really? I'm not exactly Mac-? 66 00:03:42,302 --> 00:03:44,069 I'm not Mackenzie Phillips? 67 00:03:45,554 --> 00:03:47,406 Look, she knows this is what I looked like 68 00:03:47,407 --> 00:03:48,540 when I met her, okay? 69 00:03:48,541 --> 00:03:53,412 This was all in the Doug brochure, as advertised. 70 00:03:53,413 --> 00:03:55,280 I'm just worried about where she's headed. 71 00:03:55,281 --> 00:03:57,399 I mean, I don't want her catching me. 72 00:03:57,400 --> 00:03:59,384 Well, why don't you just start eating a lot more? 73 00:03:59,385 --> 00:04:01,237 You know, stay one step ahead. 74 00:04:01,238 --> 00:04:02,521 I'm gonna do that anyway, 75 00:04:02,522 --> 00:04:05,074 but, I just- I don't know. I think maybe if I can- 76 00:04:05,075 --> 00:04:06,758 You know, I'm gonna stop you right there. 77 00:04:06,759 --> 00:04:08,794 I'm your boy, and I'm looking out for you. 78 00:04:08,795 --> 00:04:11,830 You're playing with fire. Just let it go. 79 00:04:11,831 --> 00:04:13,132 I know it's tricky, but if I could- 80 00:04:13,133 --> 00:04:14,633 Bup-bup-bup-ba! 81 00:04:15,801 --> 00:04:16,835 Let it go. 82 00:04:16,836 --> 00:04:18,036 If there's a way that I can- 83 00:04:18,037 --> 00:04:19,704 Ah! 84 00:04:21,908 --> 00:04:25,109 Let it go. 85 00:04:32,135 --> 00:04:33,868 What are we doing here? 86 00:04:33,869 --> 00:04:35,404 Doug, they're our neighbors. 87 00:04:35,405 --> 00:04:36,771 We should be supportive 88 00:04:36,772 --> 00:04:39,208 and buy one of their pieces of crap. 89 00:04:40,443 --> 00:04:42,377 We can throw it out when we get home. 90 00:04:43,763 --> 00:04:45,914 Why would Lou Ferrigno need a jar opener? 91 00:04:45,915 --> 00:04:48,416 He's the strongest man in the world. 92 00:04:49,569 --> 00:04:52,171 That's probably why he's selling it. 93 00:04:52,172 --> 00:04:53,138 Oh, look, 94 00:04:53,139 --> 00:04:55,440 here's something we can use. 95 00:04:55,441 --> 00:04:56,508 A deep-fryer? 96 00:04:56,509 --> 00:04:58,543 Yeah, can make our own french fries, 97 00:04:58,544 --> 00:05:00,245 some fried chicken. 98 00:05:04,333 --> 00:05:06,635 I don't wanna waste our money on that. I don't know. 99 00:05:06,636 --> 00:05:08,854 It's a dollar. 100 00:05:09,455 --> 00:05:11,106 Still, it's just, uh- 101 00:05:11,107 --> 00:05:13,541 Hey, what about this? Look at this. 102 00:05:13,542 --> 00:05:16,411 Yeah, we already have a stationary bike. 103 00:05:16,412 --> 00:05:18,380 Your regular bike. 104 00:05:19,232 --> 00:05:20,398 Hey, guys. 105 00:05:20,399 --> 00:05:21,583 Hey! Hi. 106 00:05:21,584 --> 00:05:22,467 Hey, Lou. 107 00:05:22,468 --> 00:05:24,403 How are you? How's the sale going? 108 00:05:24,404 --> 00:05:26,021 Okay, I guess. Oh, Lou's just cranky 109 00:05:26,022 --> 00:05:28,356 because I'm making him sell all of his video games. 110 00:05:28,357 --> 00:05:31,126 I'm telling you, the man was addicted. 111 00:05:31,127 --> 00:05:33,512 Hey, better video games than steroids, huh? 112 00:05:34,748 --> 00:05:37,883 We don't joke about that, Doug. 113 00:05:37,884 --> 00:05:40,068 Hey, so what's the story with this bad boy? 114 00:05:40,069 --> 00:05:42,003 Oh, well, if you're interested in this, 115 00:05:42,004 --> 00:05:43,738 we're selling our home gym. 116 00:05:43,739 --> 00:05:45,474 I'll even sweeten the pot. 117 00:05:45,475 --> 00:05:46,858 If you buy it, 118 00:05:46,859 --> 00:05:49,011 I'll train you both for free. 119 00:05:49,012 --> 00:05:53,732 You hear that? He'll- He'll train us... both. 120 00:05:53,733 --> 00:05:55,083 We'll let you two think about it. 121 00:05:55,084 --> 00:05:56,685 Okay. Okay? 122 00:05:58,304 --> 00:06:00,055 Both. 123 00:06:00,056 --> 00:06:01,657 That's a pretty sweet deal, huh? 124 00:06:01,658 --> 00:06:03,775 Well, yes, Doug, but you still belong to three gyms 125 00:06:03,776 --> 00:06:05,010 that you never go to. 126 00:06:05,011 --> 00:06:06,528 Would it really be fair to them? 127 00:06:06,529 --> 00:06:07,846 See, that's the thing. 128 00:06:07,847 --> 00:06:09,881 If you're training with me, I'd be inspired. 129 00:06:09,882 --> 00:06:10,949 I'd stick with it. 130 00:06:10,950 --> 00:06:12,851 Okay, you know what? Let's do it. 131 00:06:12,852 --> 00:06:15,337 I can stand to lose a couple pounds. 132 00:06:15,338 --> 00:06:17,505 This is not about you. It's about me, but whatever. 133 00:06:17,506 --> 00:06:19,474 I mean, if that happens, it's great. 134 00:06:19,475 --> 00:06:21,010 This is awesome, huh? 135 00:06:21,011 --> 00:06:22,344 God, I can't picture Lou Ferrigno 136 00:06:22,345 --> 00:06:23,712 playing tennis, huh? 137 00:06:31,354 --> 00:06:34,556 Douglas, look what I came across on the Game Show Channel. 138 00:06:34,557 --> 00:06:36,091 Glen and I would like 139 00:06:36,092 --> 00:06:37,943 to for Of Mice and Men. Is that you? 140 00:06:37,944 --> 00:06:39,812 You never told me you were on a game show. 141 00:06:39,813 --> 00:06:41,663 I've actually told you several dozen times. 142 00:06:41,664 --> 00:06:43,565 Thanks for listening. 143 00:06:45,535 --> 00:06:46,985 Look at you. 144 00:06:46,986 --> 00:06:49,554 You look so young and sane. 145 00:06:51,875 --> 00:06:54,909 Lee Meriwether couldn't keep her paws off me. 146 00:06:54,910 --> 00:06:56,078 Get it? 147 00:06:56,079 --> 00:06:57,312 Paws. 148 00:06:57,313 --> 00:06:59,748 She was one of three Catwomen. 149 00:07:01,034 --> 00:07:03,085 So did you win the 10,000? 150 00:07:03,086 --> 00:07:05,087 Would I be living in this dump if I did? 151 00:07:05,955 --> 00:07:08,357 Probably, yeah. 152 00:07:08,358 --> 00:07:10,926 Contestants appearing on The $10,000 Pyramid 153 00:07:10,927 --> 00:07:13,262 will receive a year's supply of Rice-A-Roni, 154 00:07:13,263 --> 00:07:15,864 the San Francisco treat. 155 00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:18,400 Wait a minute! 156 00:07:18,401 --> 00:07:20,802 I never got any Rice-A-Roni! 157 00:07:22,372 --> 00:07:23,872 Come on, two more. 158 00:07:23,873 --> 00:07:26,141 You said "two more" five ago. 159 00:07:26,142 --> 00:07:28,243 Do it! God. 160 00:07:28,244 --> 00:07:29,945 All right, I'm just saying, 161 00:07:29,946 --> 00:07:31,846 you suck at math, that's all. 162 00:07:31,847 --> 00:07:34,283 There. Okay? You happy? 163 00:07:34,284 --> 00:07:36,067 Oh, my God, Doug, that was torture. 164 00:07:36,068 --> 00:07:39,921 First the bike and then three sets on every station. 165 00:07:39,922 --> 00:07:41,790 Hey, you know, the first time is never easy. 166 00:07:41,791 --> 00:07:43,192 Like the first time we had to trim 167 00:07:43,193 --> 00:07:44,659 your father's nails, huh? 168 00:07:46,963 --> 00:07:48,347 Now we wait for him to fall asleep. 169 00:07:48,348 --> 00:07:51,115 It's a lot less kicking. That's all I'm saying. 170 00:07:52,851 --> 00:07:54,018 Let's get ready on the bike 171 00:07:54,019 --> 00:07:55,687 and get the blood flowing. All right. 172 00:07:55,688 --> 00:07:57,922 just don't make me too skinny there, buddy. 173 00:08:01,527 --> 00:08:02,661 Okay, this is very easy. 174 00:08:02,662 --> 00:08:04,362 I'm just telling you that right now. 175 00:08:04,363 --> 00:08:05,930 Could do this all day. 176 00:08:11,437 --> 00:08:12,537 You can stop now. 177 00:08:12,538 --> 00:08:13,805 Thank you. 178 00:08:15,141 --> 00:08:16,375 Carrie really did this? 179 00:08:16,376 --> 00:08:20,678 Yeah, but she did the whole 10 minutes. 180 00:08:20,679 --> 00:08:22,381 I'm gonna write some notes on the chart, 181 00:08:22,382 --> 00:08:23,748 and you give me 20 curls. 182 00:08:23,749 --> 00:08:24,932 Hey, how about I do the notes, 183 00:08:24,933 --> 00:08:27,052 you do the curls, huh? Ha-ha-ha. 184 00:08:27,053 --> 00:08:30,105 Now 30, funny man. 185 00:08:32,058 --> 00:08:33,124 Come on, all the way up. 186 00:08:33,125 --> 00:08:34,125 All right. 187 00:08:34,126 --> 00:08:36,728 Count them off. All right. 188 00:08:36,729 --> 00:08:39,297 One. Oh, wow, a Game Boy? 189 00:08:39,298 --> 00:08:40,765 Yeah. Carla made me sell mine. 190 00:08:40,766 --> 00:08:42,333 Two. You mind if I, uh...? 191 00:08:42,334 --> 00:08:45,403 Three. No, go ahead. 192 00:08:45,404 --> 00:08:48,239 Four. 193 00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:49,975 Five. 194 00:08:52,028 --> 00:08:55,347 Seventeen. 195 00:08:59,535 --> 00:09:01,503 ...four, 25! 196 00:09:05,441 --> 00:09:07,743 Ah, 30! 197 00:09:22,441 --> 00:09:24,642 Okay, that was great, Lou. 198 00:09:24,643 --> 00:09:25,710 I'll see you Wednesday. 199 00:09:27,180 --> 00:09:29,547 I hope he burns in hell. 200 00:09:31,483 --> 00:09:32,617 You ready to hit it, Doug? 201 00:09:32,618 --> 00:09:33,885 Absolutely. 202 00:09:33,886 --> 00:09:35,821 Uh, first, I just wanna save a game 203 00:09:35,822 --> 00:09:37,222 I was playing before. 204 00:09:38,757 --> 00:09:40,292 You have PlayStation? 205 00:09:40,293 --> 00:09:42,694 No, I have PlayStation 2. 206 00:09:44,263 --> 00:09:46,564 There. Okay, I'm a lump of clay, Lou. 207 00:09:46,565 --> 00:09:48,633 Sculpt me. 208 00:09:48,634 --> 00:09:50,252 Is that "The Getaway"? 209 00:09:50,253 --> 00:09:51,502 Yes, it is. 210 00:09:51,503 --> 00:09:54,056 Anyway, what do you say we hit it? Come on. 211 00:09:54,057 --> 00:09:57,359 "The Getaway" was my favorite game. 212 00:09:59,228 --> 00:10:00,728 Hey, you know, here's a crazy idea. 213 00:10:00,729 --> 00:10:02,964 Uh, why don't you, uh, you know, play a game 214 00:10:02,965 --> 00:10:04,766 while I do my warm-ups? 215 00:10:04,767 --> 00:10:06,885 Oh, I don't know. Carla would kill me. 216 00:10:07,386 --> 00:10:10,238 I don't see Carla here. 217 00:10:10,239 --> 00:10:12,507 What I do see is a state-of-the-art video game 218 00:10:12,508 --> 00:10:15,209 hooked up to a big-screen TV. 219 00:10:15,210 --> 00:10:17,211 Mm, no, I can't. 220 00:10:17,212 --> 00:10:18,613 I'm a trainer. I have to do my job. 221 00:10:18,614 --> 00:10:20,448 Okay, here's the thing, Lou. 222 00:10:21,784 --> 00:10:24,386 You really wanna play that video game, 223 00:10:24,387 --> 00:10:27,256 and I really don't wanna get into shape. 224 00:10:27,257 --> 00:10:29,625 I'm with you so far. All right. 225 00:10:29,626 --> 00:10:31,543 So I was thinking, instead of letting our wives 226 00:10:31,544 --> 00:10:32,710 decide what we should do, 227 00:10:32,711 --> 00:10:34,546 maybe we should use my workout time 228 00:10:34,547 --> 00:10:37,682 to do what we wanna do, hm? 229 00:10:37,683 --> 00:10:39,918 It'll be our little secret. 230 00:11:48,718 --> 00:11:49,802 Hey, Dad. 231 00:11:49,803 --> 00:11:50,954 Ah, darling, 232 00:11:50,955 --> 00:11:53,340 could you, uh, do me a small favor? 233 00:11:53,341 --> 00:11:54,273 What? 234 00:11:54,274 --> 00:11:55,875 I need you to help me get a lawyer, 235 00:11:55,876 --> 00:11:59,728 so I can sue the boyish grin off Dick Clark's face. 236 00:12:01,832 --> 00:12:05,084 Okay, once again, he did not steal the idea 237 00:12:05,085 --> 00:12:07,771 for New Year's Rockin' Eve from you. 238 00:12:07,772 --> 00:12:09,705 I never claimed he stole the "Rockin'" part. 239 00:12:09,706 --> 00:12:12,007 All right, what's the problem? 240 00:12:12,008 --> 00:12:13,309 When I was on Pyramid, 241 00:12:13,310 --> 00:12:15,311 I was promised a year's supply of Rice-A-Roni, 242 00:12:15,312 --> 00:12:16,730 and I never got it. 243 00:12:16,731 --> 00:12:18,481 Did you get that in writing? 244 00:12:18,482 --> 00:12:19,982 They announced it on the show. 245 00:12:19,983 --> 00:12:21,250 It's an oral agreement. 246 00:12:21,251 --> 00:12:22,518 Oral. 247 00:12:22,519 --> 00:12:25,789 Okay, stop using that word. 248 00:12:25,790 --> 00:12:28,390 So can you help me? No, I'm sorry. 249 00:12:28,391 --> 00:12:31,694 Why do you always take Dick Clark's side? 250 00:12:33,463 --> 00:12:37,167 Hey. 251 00:12:37,168 --> 00:12:38,268 How was your workout? 252 00:12:38,269 --> 00:12:40,036 Oh, just brutal, as usual. 253 00:12:40,037 --> 00:12:41,671 I'll tell you, that Lou comes off 254 00:12:41,672 --> 00:12:42,805 like a gentle giant in public, 255 00:12:42,806 --> 00:12:43,806 but come workout time, 256 00:12:43,807 --> 00:12:46,843 he's one scary bastard. 257 00:12:46,844 --> 00:12:48,011 I know. I know. He's a tough one. 258 00:12:48,012 --> 00:12:49,812 But you know what? You gotta stick with it. 259 00:12:49,813 --> 00:12:51,213 I mean, look at me. 260 00:12:51,214 --> 00:12:53,516 I haven't fit in this suit in months. I lot 6 pounds. 261 00:12:53,517 --> 00:12:54,834 I don't care about numbers. 262 00:12:54,835 --> 00:12:56,686 I'm just happy that you're healthier. 263 00:12:56,687 --> 00:12:58,787 You getting results too? Are you kidding me? 264 00:12:58,788 --> 00:13:00,824 Look at that. Feel this. Feel it. 265 00:13:00,825 --> 00:13:03,459 Huh? Huh? Huh? 266 00:13:03,977 --> 00:13:05,695 Yes. Yes, honey. 267 00:13:05,696 --> 00:13:07,797 You're really- You're- You're getting there. 268 00:13:07,798 --> 00:13:09,665 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 269 00:13:09,666 --> 00:13:11,284 Thank you for noticing. 270 00:13:11,285 --> 00:13:13,252 All right. 271 00:13:19,609 --> 00:13:21,944 Hey, why don't you get Lou the "Spider-Man 2" game? 272 00:13:21,945 --> 00:13:23,646 Yeah, I'm gonna get the Incredible Hulk 273 00:13:23,647 --> 00:13:24,914 a Spider-Man game. 274 00:13:24,915 --> 00:13:26,683 Who raised you? 275 00:13:27,685 --> 00:13:28,685 Hey, Deac, 276 00:13:28,686 --> 00:13:29,686 you have "ATV 3," right? 277 00:13:29,687 --> 00:13:30,937 How is it? 278 00:13:30,938 --> 00:13:32,472 Instead of going through this trouble, 279 00:13:32,473 --> 00:13:34,691 why don't you actually let Lou train you? 280 00:13:34,692 --> 00:13:36,809 Maybe that way, you won't get winded throwing darts. 281 00:13:37,544 --> 00:13:38,862 What is your problem? 282 00:13:38,863 --> 00:13:40,530 I just think this is wrong. 283 00:13:40,531 --> 00:13:42,098 I'm only cheating myself. 284 00:13:42,099 --> 00:13:43,066 And Carrie. 285 00:13:43,067 --> 00:13:44,666 And Carrie, right. And Lou. 286 00:13:44,667 --> 00:13:46,668 Got him hooked on video games again. 287 00:13:46,669 --> 00:13:47,870 Right, me, Carrie, and Lou. 288 00:13:47,871 --> 00:13:49,322 Just cheating the three of us. 289 00:13:49,323 --> 00:13:50,372 So you came up with a way 290 00:13:50,373 --> 00:13:52,274 to get her to lose weight without knowing it. 291 00:13:52,275 --> 00:13:54,043 I just can't believe you. 292 00:13:54,044 --> 00:13:56,078 Oh, my God, you're jealous. 293 00:13:56,079 --> 00:13:57,179 That's what it is. 294 00:13:57,180 --> 00:13:58,531 You're damn right I'm jealous. 295 00:13:58,532 --> 00:14:00,633 I- I mean, you found a way to beat the system, man. 296 00:14:00,634 --> 00:14:01,934 Oh, I not only beat the system, 297 00:14:01,935 --> 00:14:03,135 it was first-round KO. 298 00:14:05,806 --> 00:14:07,306 And I'm just getting started. 299 00:14:07,307 --> 00:14:08,407 What do you mean? 300 00:14:08,408 --> 00:14:10,492 Well, you know that now I can control Carrie 301 00:14:10,493 --> 00:14:12,395 through Lou, right? Right. 302 00:14:12,396 --> 00:14:14,097 If she can lose 6 pounds at the current pace, 303 00:14:14,098 --> 00:14:16,149 imagine I have Lou kick it up a notch. 304 00:14:16,150 --> 00:14:17,400 You're making a mistake. 305 00:14:17,401 --> 00:14:18,368 I'm not making a mistake, 306 00:14:18,369 --> 00:14:20,103 and I'm gonna change other things. 307 00:14:20,104 --> 00:14:21,087 Look, do you know 308 00:14:21,088 --> 00:14:22,755 how to cut things off when-? 309 00:14:22,756 --> 00:14:24,857 Let it go. 310 00:14:31,615 --> 00:14:33,983 Hey. Hey. 311 00:14:33,984 --> 00:14:36,085 What's that? It's my dinner. 312 00:14:36,086 --> 00:14:38,721 All of a sudden, Lou's got me on a liquid diet. 313 00:14:38,722 --> 00:14:40,289 Really? 314 00:14:40,290 --> 00:14:42,792 Yes, and he doubled my time on the bike, 315 00:14:42,793 --> 00:14:44,127 he increased my weights, 316 00:14:44,128 --> 00:14:47,213 and then he said get some blond highlights. 317 00:14:53,637 --> 00:14:55,571 That's weird, but I would just do it. 318 00:14:57,892 --> 00:15:00,760 Oh, dear God. I can't do this. 319 00:15:00,761 --> 00:15:02,529 What? I can't do this. Doug, I am- 320 00:15:02,530 --> 00:15:04,330 I am achy, I'm tired all the time, 321 00:15:04,331 --> 00:15:05,698 and now I'm drinking this crap? 322 00:15:05,699 --> 00:15:06,950 I think I'm gonna quit. 323 00:15:06,951 --> 00:15:08,467 Y- y-you can't quit. You can't quit. 324 00:15:08,468 --> 00:15:10,136 I- I mean, I- It's not fair to me. 325 00:15:10,137 --> 00:15:11,321 You- You can't. 326 00:15:11,322 --> 00:15:13,206 Doug, you can still keep working out. 327 00:15:13,207 --> 00:15:14,290 Not- Not without you. 328 00:15:14,291 --> 00:15:16,392 I mean, the- The whole drive behind this thing 329 00:15:16,393 --> 00:15:18,060 is that we're doing it together for me. 330 00:15:18,061 --> 00:15:20,630 That's- It really is. You're the wind beneath my wings. 331 00:15:20,631 --> 00:15:23,082 Without wind, wings are useless. 332 00:15:23,083 --> 00:15:24,400 I'm pretty sure wings still work 333 00:15:24,401 --> 00:15:26,002 even though there's no wind. 334 00:15:26,003 --> 00:15:28,938 Okay, an Oscar-winning song is wrong. All right. 335 00:15:28,939 --> 00:15:31,224 Come on, Carrie. Okay, honey, fine, 336 00:15:31,225 --> 00:15:33,008 I will keep going for you. 337 00:15:33,009 --> 00:15:34,276 Thank you. For me. 338 00:15:34,277 --> 00:15:36,278 There you go. Gosh. 339 00:15:36,279 --> 00:15:38,147 You wanna talk about brutal, 340 00:15:38,148 --> 00:15:39,532 Lou's got me on light beer. 341 00:15:44,338 --> 00:15:47,190 It's hard going down, I tell you. 342 00:15:52,446 --> 00:15:53,445 What do you want? 343 00:15:53,446 --> 00:15:56,115 Uh, sorry to interrupt your exercise session, 344 00:15:56,116 --> 00:15:58,751 but Lou has some important documents for me 345 00:15:58,752 --> 00:16:01,020 vis-�-vis Rice-A-Roni-gate. 346 00:16:01,021 --> 00:16:02,621 Uh-huh, uh-huh. 347 00:16:04,041 --> 00:16:05,308 Lou you have anything for Arthur? 348 00:16:05,309 --> 00:16:06,575 In my bag. 349 00:16:08,361 --> 00:16:09,846 Say, uh, what's going on in here? 350 00:16:09,847 --> 00:16:10,880 What do you mean? 351 00:16:10,881 --> 00:16:11,848 He's training me. 352 00:16:11,849 --> 00:16:12,998 You're playing solitaire, 353 00:16:12,999 --> 00:16:14,783 and he's playing some television game. 354 00:16:14,784 --> 00:16:15,935 What gives, eh? 355 00:16:15,936 --> 00:16:17,854 You ask too many questions, old man. 356 00:16:17,855 --> 00:16:20,139 Too many or not enough? 357 00:16:20,140 --> 00:16:21,206 Too many. 358 00:16:29,650 --> 00:16:32,735 Now, uh, Mr. Spooner, my assistant tells me 359 00:16:32,736 --> 00:16:35,538 this is an urgent matter for Mr. Clark. 360 00:16:35,539 --> 00:16:38,157 Yes, if you recall, I was a contestant 361 00:16:38,158 --> 00:16:41,744 on The $10,000 Pyramid in 1976. 362 00:16:41,745 --> 00:16:43,413 Actually, I don't. Why not? 363 00:16:43,414 --> 00:16:45,581 I was in the 3rd grade. 364 00:16:45,582 --> 00:16:47,300 Anyway, I never got my Rice-A-Roni. 365 00:16:47,301 --> 00:16:49,985 Again, the show's been off the air for years. 366 00:16:49,986 --> 00:16:52,472 Uh, I'm not sure they even still make Rice-A-Roni. 367 00:16:52,473 --> 00:16:53,456 Oh, they make it, all right, 368 00:16:53,457 --> 00:16:56,726 in a variety of mouth-watering flavors. 369 00:16:56,727 --> 00:17:01,130 Okay, well, uh, instead of Rice-A-Roni, 370 00:17:01,131 --> 00:17:03,933 how about I, uh, give you... 371 00:17:06,036 --> 00:17:07,603 this book? I don't wanna read! 372 00:17:07,604 --> 00:17:09,022 I wanna eat! 373 00:17:09,023 --> 00:17:12,208 But, sir- I want my year's supply 374 00:17:12,209 --> 00:17:14,243 of Rice-A-Roni, plus all the extra Rice-A-Roni 375 00:17:14,244 --> 00:17:19,032 I would have accrued in interest over the past three decades! 376 00:17:19,033 --> 00:17:22,251 Yeah, uh... 377 00:17:22,252 --> 00:17:23,319 no? 378 00:17:26,356 --> 00:17:27,756 Didn't wanna use this, 379 00:17:27,757 --> 00:17:29,558 but you forced my hand. 380 00:17:30,844 --> 00:17:32,595 Wait a minute. 381 00:17:34,348 --> 00:17:36,182 Hello? 382 00:17:36,183 --> 00:17:39,168 Darling, Lou has an envelope for me out in the garage. 383 00:17:39,169 --> 00:17:40,470 So? 384 00:17:40,471 --> 00:17:42,238 I need you to fax me the photo of Dick Clark 385 00:17:42,239 --> 00:17:44,474 locked in a muddy embrace with Fannie Flag. 386 00:17:44,475 --> 00:17:46,309 It's from The Battle of the Network Stars. 387 00:17:46,310 --> 00:17:47,443 Dad- No, I can't. 388 00:17:47,444 --> 00:17:48,944 I'm about to get in the shower here. 389 00:17:48,945 --> 00:17:50,897 I need it! Hold on! 390 00:18:12,752 --> 00:18:15,304 What the hell is going on here? 391 00:18:15,305 --> 00:18:16,305 We're training. 392 00:18:16,306 --> 00:18:18,224 You were fast asleep. 393 00:18:18,225 --> 00:18:20,510 I was resting between sets. 394 00:18:20,511 --> 00:18:23,179 And you, how can you let this happen? 395 00:18:23,180 --> 00:18:25,765 I'm weak. But please don't tell my wife. 396 00:18:25,766 --> 00:18:27,617 Just get outta here. 397 00:18:27,618 --> 00:18:30,436 Could I at least save my game to the memory card? 398 00:18:30,437 --> 00:18:33,656 So weak. 399 00:18:33,657 --> 00:18:36,776 So this has been going on 400 00:18:36,777 --> 00:18:38,027 during your training sessions. 401 00:18:38,028 --> 00:18:41,364 Lou plays video games while you sleep and eat. 402 00:18:41,365 --> 00:18:42,482 And read. 403 00:18:43,233 --> 00:18:44,450 And all that crap 404 00:18:44,451 --> 00:18:46,418 about me being "the wind beneath your wings. " 405 00:18:46,419 --> 00:18:48,287 Did you even work out at all? 406 00:18:49,606 --> 00:18:51,958 Define "at all. " 407 00:18:51,959 --> 00:18:53,209 Doug, if you didn't wanna work out, 408 00:18:53,210 --> 00:18:55,177 why didn't you just let me quit when I wanted to 409 00:18:55,178 --> 00:18:56,245 and end the whole thing? 410 00:18:56,246 --> 00:18:57,646 Because I wanted to help you. 411 00:18:57,647 --> 00:19:00,065 You said you could stand to lose like 10 or 15 pounds. 412 00:19:00,066 --> 00:19:01,433 I- I just- 413 00:19:03,954 --> 00:19:08,724 I said I could stand to lose a couple of pounds. 414 00:19:08,725 --> 00:19:09,875 Hm? Yeah. 415 00:19:10,944 --> 00:19:12,377 I said a couple of pounds. 416 00:19:12,378 --> 00:19:15,148 You just said 10 or 15. 417 00:19:15,149 --> 00:19:16,548 A couple, that's a figure of speech, 418 00:19:16,549 --> 00:19:18,250 like when I say I'm going to White Castle 419 00:19:18,251 --> 00:19:20,019 and getting a couple of burgers. 420 00:19:20,020 --> 00:19:23,356 Everyone knows it's 10, 15. 421 00:19:23,857 --> 00:19:25,440 Oh, I see. 422 00:19:25,441 --> 00:19:27,977 So you kept up this whole charade 423 00:19:27,978 --> 00:19:30,279 because you wanted me to lose weight? 424 00:19:30,964 --> 00:19:32,814 Define "charade. " 425 00:19:32,815 --> 00:19:35,117 Okay, so you think I'm fat now? No! 426 00:19:35,118 --> 00:19:37,569 Yeah- No, obviously you do. I mean, just admit it. 427 00:19:37,570 --> 00:19:39,638 Be a man and just say it. 428 00:19:41,091 --> 00:19:42,091 This is a trap. 429 00:19:42,092 --> 00:19:45,428 No, it is not a trap. 430 00:19:45,429 --> 00:19:48,380 It feels like a trap because... 431 00:19:48,381 --> 00:19:49,748 I have the same bad feeling I did 432 00:19:49,749 --> 00:19:53,585 when you made me agree you have a slight, slight mustache. 433 00:19:54,704 --> 00:19:56,838 Doug, this is not a trap. 434 00:19:56,839 --> 00:19:58,907 I just wanna know my husband's honest feelings. 435 00:19:58,908 --> 00:20:00,376 That's all. 436 00:20:01,695 --> 00:20:03,996 Okay, I guess... 437 00:20:03,997 --> 00:20:06,332 it wouldn't hurt you if you lost a few pounds. 438 00:20:06,333 --> 00:20:07,449 Ow! 439 00:20:07,450 --> 00:20:09,151 Look, why is it okay that you can get on me 440 00:20:09,152 --> 00:20:10,319 about my weight every day, 441 00:20:10,320 --> 00:20:11,520 but I can't say a thing to you 442 00:20:11,521 --> 00:20:13,039 if you need to drop a few? 443 00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:16,008 Because that's just the way it is. 444 00:20:16,009 --> 00:20:18,593 Carrie, look, all right- Look, come here. 445 00:20:18,594 --> 00:20:20,429 I got carried away, all right? 446 00:20:20,430 --> 00:20:22,697 I swear to you, I don't even care what size you are. 447 00:20:22,698 --> 00:20:24,433 I love you no matter what. 448 00:20:24,434 --> 00:20:25,467 Thank you. 449 00:20:25,468 --> 00:20:27,102 I appreciate that, Doug. 450 00:20:27,103 --> 00:20:30,773 However, I still think you need to lose more than 30 pounds. 451 00:20:30,774 --> 00:20:32,024 What?! Yeah, that's right. 452 00:20:32,025 --> 00:20:33,542 More than 30-? That's right. 453 00:20:33,543 --> 00:20:34,810 You heard me, okay? 454 00:20:34,811 --> 00:20:36,045 And this is how we're gonna do it. 455 00:20:36,046 --> 00:20:37,212 I'm gonna keep working out 456 00:20:37,213 --> 00:20:39,849 only to be supportive of you, 457 00:20:39,850 --> 00:20:41,751 because I don't need to lose weight. 458 00:20:41,752 --> 00:20:43,052 Isn't that right, Doug? 459 00:20:46,773 --> 00:20:48,491 I'm supposed to say yes here, right? 460 00:20:48,492 --> 00:20:52,077 I don't know. You can say whatever you want. 461 00:20:52,745 --> 00:20:53,913 I wanna say yes. 462 00:20:53,914 --> 00:20:55,130 Yes, that would be correct. 463 00:20:55,131 --> 00:20:56,965 Yeah. So you know what we're gonna do? 464 00:20:56,966 --> 00:20:58,534 We're gonna clean out the cupboards 465 00:20:58,535 --> 00:20:59,535 of all the junk food, 466 00:20:59,536 --> 00:21:00,902 starting with the Ring Dings- 467 00:21:00,903 --> 00:21:04,289 Yeah, about the Ring Dings, um... 468 00:21:04,290 --> 00:21:07,826 You ate them during your "workouts"? 469 00:21:09,045 --> 00:21:10,179 I wanna say yes. 470 00:21:10,180 --> 00:21:11,898 Ugh. 471 00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:22,792 Good. Now, let's go hit the weights. 472 00:21:32,336 --> 00:21:34,637 Hey, kids, so, what do you feel like tonight? 473 00:21:34,638 --> 00:21:37,690 Original or Cajun-chicken flavor? 33000