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1
00:00:13,345 --> 00:00:16,230
Oh, that's, uh-
That's my pillow.
2
00:00:16,231 --> 00:00:17,931
What?
3
00:00:17,932 --> 00:00:19,350
That pillow behind you.
That one-
4
00:00:19,351 --> 00:00:20,768
That one's mine.
5
00:00:20,769 --> 00:00:23,737
Well, there's two perfectly good
pillows right there.
6
00:00:23,738 --> 00:00:25,272
No way.
7
00:00:25,273 --> 00:00:27,241
This one's too puffy,
and this one's too flat.
8
00:00:27,242 --> 00:00:28,942
Can I have my pillow, please?
I need it.
9
00:00:28,943 --> 00:00:31,612
It's perfect
for my special head needs.
10
00:00:31,613 --> 00:00:33,296
Well, I'm sorry.
I'm all set up here.
11
00:00:33,297 --> 00:00:35,699
So why don't you lay
your special head
12
00:00:35,700 --> 00:00:37,834
on one of these pillows,
close your eyes
13
00:00:37,835 --> 00:00:40,136
and fall asleep.
14
00:00:41,489 --> 00:00:44,091
Okay, is that what you think
happens here every night?
15
00:00:44,092 --> 00:00:47,378
I just... close my eyes
and fall asleep?
16
00:00:47,379 --> 00:00:48,344
Yeah.
17
00:00:48,345 --> 00:00:50,130
That's pretty much
how it goes down.
18
00:00:50,131 --> 00:00:51,998
Okay, Carrie,
that is my pillow,
19
00:00:51,999 --> 00:00:53,933
and I want her now.
20
00:00:54,802 --> 00:00:57,154
And I am telling you, Doug,
21
00:00:57,155 --> 00:00:59,823
that I'm... not... moving.
22
00:01:35,427 --> 00:01:37,060
I don't care.
23
00:01:39,797 --> 00:01:41,231
Yeah.
24
00:01:43,834 --> 00:01:45,152
You know what?
25
00:01:45,153 --> 00:01:46,319
You are such a baby.
26
00:01:46,320 --> 00:01:47,855
Yeah?
Here, here, here.
27
00:01:47,856 --> 00:01:50,390
And now I'm gonna
sleep like one too.
28
00:02:09,226 --> 00:02:11,327
Actually, I think
that's my pillow,
29
00:02:11,328 --> 00:02:13,430
right there.
30
00:02:51,151 --> 00:02:53,919
Gin rummy, you and me,
right now.
31
00:02:53,920 --> 00:02:55,087
Oh, I'm sorry, Dad.
32
00:02:55,088 --> 00:02:56,889
I have to finish
this report.
33
00:02:59,926 --> 00:03:03,028
You can keep dealin'.
I'm still not playin'.
34
00:03:04,497 --> 00:03:05,830
Dad, if you have nothing to do,
35
00:03:05,831 --> 00:03:07,867
why don't you go down
to the senior center?
36
00:03:07,868 --> 00:03:10,753
No. Not as along as
George Barksdale is president.
37
00:03:10,754 --> 00:03:13,488
He picks the movies,
he picks the pudding,
38
00:03:13,489 --> 00:03:17,325
and if ya cross him, good luck
in getting a bingo card.
39
00:03:17,326 --> 00:03:19,211
Well, if you're so unhappy,
40
00:03:19,212 --> 00:03:20,913
why don't you
just say something?
41
00:03:20,914 --> 00:03:22,231
The last guy who did that
42
00:03:22,232 --> 00:03:26,668
was "accidentally" run over
by a Rascal scooter.
43
00:03:26,669 --> 00:03:29,671
Barksdale's goons
are everywhere.
44
00:03:32,976 --> 00:03:34,743
I'm tellin' ya
I gave it back to you.
45
00:03:34,744 --> 00:03:35,811
No, you didn't.
46
00:03:35,812 --> 00:03:38,129
You came a long way
for some humble pie.
47
00:03:38,130 --> 00:03:39,264
Hey, guys.
48
00:03:39,265 --> 00:03:40,983
Hey, Car.
Hey.
49
00:03:40,984 --> 00:03:45,221
Deacon seems to think we have
his Earth, Wind & Fire box set.
50
00:03:45,222 --> 00:03:46,856
Now, you haven't seen it,
right?
51
00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:52,945
Yes. It's right there
on the bookshelf.
52
00:03:52,946 --> 00:03:54,697
I told you
to give it back to him.
53
00:03:54,698 --> 00:03:56,949
Thanks.
54
00:03:56,950 --> 00:03:58,550
Okay, was, uh...
55
00:03:58,551 --> 00:04:00,051
this not clear to you?
56
00:04:01,621 --> 00:04:03,422
Anyway,
I'm gonna head out.
57
00:04:03,423 --> 00:04:05,690
What ya talkin' about?
We were gonna watch the Knicks.
58
00:04:05,691 --> 00:04:06,809
I gotta get up early
to take
59
00:04:06,810 --> 00:04:08,677
that personnel evaluation test
at work.
60
00:04:08,678 --> 00:04:11,096
No- No, they didn't tell you?
It's- It's optional.
61
00:04:11,097 --> 00:04:12,431
I know.
I'm still taking it.
62
00:04:12,432 --> 00:04:15,016
Okay, do you know
what "optional" means?
63
00:04:15,017 --> 00:04:17,336
I don't wanna be a driver
my whole life. Here's a chance
64
00:04:17,337 --> 00:04:19,504
for me to improve myself
and move up in the company.
65
00:04:19,505 --> 00:04:21,373
I think I can get up
an hour earlier for that.
66
00:04:21,374 --> 00:04:23,375
Yeah? Well,
while you're improving yourself,
67
00:04:23,376 --> 00:04:25,810
I'll be laying in bed holding in
a bladder full of pee.
68
00:04:33,403 --> 00:04:35,821
What's this test
Deacon's talking about?
69
00:04:35,822 --> 00:04:37,039
It's nothin'.
70
00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:38,941
He said it can help you
move up in the company.
71
00:04:38,942 --> 00:04:40,626
How come
you're not taking it?
72
00:04:40,627 --> 00:04:43,379
Does anybody know
what "optional" means?
73
00:04:43,380 --> 00:04:44,780
It's not
for a specific promotion.
74
00:04:44,781 --> 00:04:48,167
It's just some kind
of general aptitude thing.
75
00:04:48,168 --> 00:04:50,652
Oh, I see. So you're taking
yourself out of the running
76
00:04:50,653 --> 00:04:52,888
for any promotion ever?
77
00:04:52,889 --> 00:04:55,090
From your lips to his ears.
78
00:04:55,091 --> 00:04:57,259
Look, Carrie, I'd probably
do lousy at it anyway.
79
00:04:57,260 --> 00:05:00,012
Well, how do you know
if you don't even try, Doug?
80
00:05:00,013 --> 00:05:01,413
We've been married
for 10 years,
81
00:05:01,414 --> 00:05:03,849
but I've never seen you
really try for anything.
82
00:05:03,850 --> 00:05:05,484
Believe me,
I've tried for things.
83
00:05:05,485 --> 00:05:06,534
Oh, yeah, that's right.
84
00:05:06,535 --> 00:05:09,471
You did try to finish
Newark's biggest burrito.
85
00:05:11,391 --> 00:05:12,724
It would've been free.
86
00:05:12,725 --> 00:05:16,228
All right, forget it.
Sorry I even brought it up.
87
00:05:21,634 --> 00:05:23,919
You know,
I did try for something once.
88
00:05:25,955 --> 00:05:27,523
It was 1989,
89
00:05:27,524 --> 00:05:30,376
and I was working as bouncer
at this place called Poison,
90
00:05:30,377 --> 00:05:33,545
one of the hottest clubs
in Queens.
91
00:05:33,546 --> 00:05:36,632
But what I really wanted
to be...
92
00:05:36,633 --> 00:05:38,884
was a bartender.
93
00:05:38,885 --> 00:05:40,902
The movie Cocktail
was taking the world by storm
94
00:05:40,903 --> 00:05:42,620
and dishing out booze
95
00:05:42,621 --> 00:05:44,255
was the coolest job
a guy could have.
96
00:05:47,444 --> 00:05:48,860
Then finally one night,
my boss said
97
00:05:48,861 --> 00:05:51,029
the magic words
I'd been waiting to hear.
98
00:05:51,030 --> 00:05:52,281
"Mike called in sick.
99
00:05:52,282 --> 00:05:53,866
"He ate some bad salmon.
100
00:05:53,867 --> 00:05:56,234
He's been on the toilet
all day. "
101
00:05:58,104 --> 00:05:59,487
I finally got my shot.
102
00:06:06,997 --> 00:06:09,248
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
103
00:06:25,614 --> 00:06:28,100
Ya understand now?
104
00:06:28,101 --> 00:06:31,370
Well, I don't remember Cocktail
taking the world by storm,
105
00:06:31,371 --> 00:06:33,739
but other than that,
yeah, I guess.
106
00:06:33,740 --> 00:06:35,640
Let me tell ya.
I learned something that night.
107
00:06:35,641 --> 00:06:38,527
You don't try for things,
you don't get hurt.
108
00:06:38,528 --> 00:06:40,678
Doug, is this all
because of what happened
109
00:06:40,679 --> 00:06:43,866
15 years ago
at some stupid club?
110
00:06:43,867 --> 00:06:45,784
Stupid? Okay.
Stupid clu-
111
00:06:45,785 --> 00:06:48,920
That's why Bell, Biv
and DeVoe were regulars.
112
00:06:51,607 --> 00:06:55,109
All I'm saying,
in my career, okay,
113
00:06:55,110 --> 00:06:57,279
I try for things,
and yet I fail,
114
00:06:57,280 --> 00:06:58,880
and it hurts,
but I keep trying.
115
00:06:58,881 --> 00:07:00,966
You wanna know why?
116
00:07:00,967 --> 00:07:03,102
You're a slow learner?
117
00:07:03,103 --> 00:07:06,271
No, because I want
a better life for us.
118
00:07:06,272 --> 00:07:08,390
Better?
119
00:07:10,876 --> 00:07:12,727
Doug, please.
120
00:07:12,728 --> 00:07:14,429
Carrie, I don't know what
you want from me.
121
00:07:14,430 --> 00:07:16,431
I'm just a truck driver,
and I'm fine with that.
122
00:07:16,432 --> 00:07:18,099
Why can't you be?
123
00:07:18,100 --> 00:07:20,452
Because I don't think you're
just a truck driver, Doug.
124
00:07:20,453 --> 00:07:23,221
I think you're
a smart, talented guy
125
00:07:23,222 --> 00:07:25,724
who could do anything
he wants to.
126
00:07:25,725 --> 00:07:28,627
I just wish you
felt the same way.
127
00:07:39,389 --> 00:07:40,923
I did it.
Did what?
128
00:07:40,924 --> 00:07:43,425
I thought about what you said
last night, and you're right.
129
00:07:43,426 --> 00:07:45,043
I shouldn't be afraid
to try something,
130
00:07:45,044 --> 00:07:46,478
so I went out, and I did it.
131
00:07:46,479 --> 00:07:48,263
You took the I.P.S. test?
132
00:07:48,264 --> 00:07:51,099
No, no-
I enrolled in bartending school.
133
00:07:55,788 --> 00:07:57,523
Bartending school?
134
00:07:57,524 --> 00:07:58,891
Yeah,
it's a two-week course.
135
00:07:58,892 --> 00:08:00,792
I already called Paddy
down at Cooper's.
136
00:08:00,793 --> 00:08:02,093
He's gonna give me
some shifts
137
00:08:02,094 --> 00:08:03,996
as soon as I get
my certification.
138
00:08:03,997 --> 00:08:05,680
Doug, you're gonna be
a bartender
139
00:08:05,681 --> 00:08:08,367
and quit your job
at I.P.S.?
140
00:08:08,368 --> 00:08:09,785
No, no, not yet.
But, hey, who knows
141
00:08:09,786 --> 00:08:12,621
where this wild ride
is gonna take us, you know?
142
00:08:12,622 --> 00:08:14,423
You know, I-
I don't want a wild ride.
143
00:08:14,424 --> 00:08:16,207
Maybe someday
we'll have our own bar.
144
00:08:16,208 --> 00:08:17,208
We can call it...
145
00:08:17,209 --> 00:08:18,643
"Doug's Place. "
146
00:08:19,762 --> 00:08:21,130
Slow down, honey-
147
00:08:21,131 --> 00:08:22,864
Or I can change my name
to Melrose,
148
00:08:22,865 --> 00:08:25,467
and we can call it
"Melrose Place. "
149
00:08:25,468 --> 00:08:27,185
Hey, guys.
What's going on?
150
00:08:27,186 --> 00:08:28,169
I'm going back to school.
151
00:08:28,170 --> 00:08:29,388
Oh, great!
152
00:08:29,389 --> 00:08:30,556
Yeah,
bartending school.
153
00:08:30,557 --> 00:08:32,391
Ooh, better yet.
154
00:08:32,392 --> 00:08:34,742
Bravo, Douglas. And while
we're making announcements,
155
00:08:34,743 --> 00:08:37,646
I've decided to run
for senior center president.
156
00:08:37,647 --> 00:08:38,981
Good for you.
157
00:08:38,982 --> 00:08:41,450
Yes. I'm going to end
Barksdale's reign of terror
158
00:08:41,451 --> 00:08:43,785
and begin my own.
159
00:08:43,786 --> 00:08:45,420
All right,
see you guys later.
160
00:08:45,421 --> 00:08:46,488
All right.
161
00:08:46,489 --> 00:08:48,457
Bartender.
162
00:08:48,458 --> 00:08:49,641
Rarr!
163
00:08:53,863 --> 00:08:56,464
Doug,
you have a union job
164
00:08:56,465 --> 00:08:58,834
with a pension
and health benefits.
165
00:08:58,835 --> 00:09:00,702
You can't throw all that away.
That's crazy.
166
00:09:00,703 --> 00:09:03,605
I know it's crazy, but you told
me I'm talented, and I'm great,
167
00:09:03,606 --> 00:09:05,941
and you said I could do
whatever I wanted, right?
168
00:09:05,942 --> 00:09:07,209
Yes.
169
00:09:07,210 --> 00:09:08,926
If you believe in me,
that's all I need.
170
00:09:08,927 --> 00:09:10,162
Mwah! Ha-ha!
171
00:09:13,466 --> 00:09:14,899
Crap.
172
00:09:23,309 --> 00:09:25,243
All right, everybody,
settle down.
173
00:09:29,164 --> 00:09:31,232
So...
174
00:09:31,233 --> 00:09:34,335
you people think you have
what it takes, huh?
175
00:09:35,788 --> 00:09:37,556
Think ya can cut it?
176
00:09:37,557 --> 00:09:40,092
Think ya got
the right stuff?
177
00:09:40,093 --> 00:09:42,794
Is this
the 1-2-3 bartending class?
178
00:09:42,795 --> 00:09:44,846
Get out.
Huh?
179
00:09:44,847 --> 00:09:45,697
Get out!
180
00:09:48,050 --> 00:09:49,384
You thought
this was gonna be easy.
181
00:09:49,385 --> 00:09:50,752
Well, let me tell ya
something.
182
00:09:50,753 --> 00:09:52,754
One out of three of you
ain't gonna make it
183
00:09:52,755 --> 00:09:54,022
through this course.
184
00:09:54,023 --> 00:09:56,692
So I want you to look
at the person to your left
185
00:09:56,693 --> 00:09:59,278
and look at the person
to your right,
186
00:09:59,279 --> 00:10:01,963
because one of those people
ain't gonna be here tomorrow,
187
00:10:01,964 --> 00:10:04,899
and that person could-
188
00:10:04,900 --> 00:10:06,702
Where you lookin', meat?
189
00:10:06,703 --> 00:10:09,371
I, uh- I-I-I didn't have
anybody to my right, so I just-
190
00:10:09,372 --> 00:10:10,906
You- You know what?
I'll go-
191
00:10:10,907 --> 00:10:12,640
Sit down.
I'm gonna sit down.
192
00:10:15,344 --> 00:10:16,912
All right.
193
00:10:16,913 --> 00:10:18,380
Let's dive in.
194
00:10:19,515 --> 00:10:21,683
Rule number one:
195
00:10:21,684 --> 00:10:23,485
A depressed customer
196
00:10:23,486 --> 00:10:25,753
is the best customer.
197
00:11:46,902 --> 00:11:49,137
Good job, huh?
198
00:11:49,138 --> 00:11:51,239
Hey.
199
00:11:53,476 --> 00:11:55,427
I ain't shakin'
your hand, meat.
200
00:11:55,428 --> 00:11:56,678
You're not?
201
00:11:56,679 --> 00:11:58,279
Come here. Ha-ha!
202
00:12:01,133 --> 00:12:03,368
Huh? Hey!
203
00:12:03,369 --> 00:12:04,669
Yeah!
204
00:12:10,292 --> 00:12:13,327
There he is, the smug despot,
drunk with power.
205
00:12:14,980 --> 00:12:16,514
All right, Holly,
206
00:12:16,515 --> 00:12:18,149
you're my campaign manager.
207
00:12:18,150 --> 00:12:19,500
Let's get goin'.
208
00:12:19,501 --> 00:12:22,470
Okay, well, I guess you should
tell people why you're running.
209
00:12:22,471 --> 00:12:23,855
What's your platform?
210
00:12:23,856 --> 00:12:25,290
Essentially,
my platform is
211
00:12:25,291 --> 00:12:27,942
I'd like to be president
very badly.
212
00:12:27,943 --> 00:12:29,677
Okay, but the voters
are gonna wanna know
213
00:12:29,678 --> 00:12:32,080
what you're gonna do
once you're elected.
214
00:12:32,081 --> 00:12:33,514
That's none of their business.
215
00:12:42,675 --> 00:12:44,709
Okay, here we go.
216
00:12:46,628 --> 00:12:48,129
What can I get you?
217
00:12:48,130 --> 00:12:49,430
Uh, club soda, please.
218
00:12:49,431 --> 00:12:51,382
Yeah.
219
00:12:51,383 --> 00:12:52,717
What is it?
220
00:12:52,718 --> 00:12:54,218
Oh, it's just that I...
221
00:12:54,219 --> 00:12:56,187
just graduated
from bartending school,
222
00:12:56,188 --> 00:12:57,806
and you're
my first customer.
223
00:12:57,807 --> 00:12:59,057
Well, that's great.
224
00:12:59,058 --> 00:13:00,391
Yeah, I was kind of hoping
225
00:13:00,392 --> 00:13:02,093
that my first drink
would be memorable.
226
00:13:02,094 --> 00:13:06,097
You know, like a mai tai
or a Bermuda rum swizzle.
227
00:13:06,098 --> 00:13:07,898
Yeah. Uh, look, I- I-
228
00:13:07,899 --> 00:13:10,601
I got a little drinking problem,
you know, so I'd-
229
00:13:10,602 --> 00:13:12,403
I'd just rather not, yeah.
230
00:13:12,404 --> 00:13:15,139
Guy, just one.
231
00:13:18,377 --> 00:13:20,345
Double scotch, neat.
232
00:13:20,346 --> 00:13:21,529
There you go.
233
00:13:25,217 --> 00:13:27,051
Alrighty.
234
00:13:41,566 --> 00:13:43,001
Oh, yeah.
235
00:13:47,806 --> 00:13:49,190
Hey, what can I get
for ya?
236
00:13:49,191 --> 00:13:50,424
Just a Bud Light.
237
00:13:50,425 --> 00:13:51,976
Uh, you know I do serve
238
00:13:51,977 --> 00:13:54,612
16 kinds of beer
from Europe, heh.
239
00:13:54,613 --> 00:13:56,113
Great.
You're a regular Epcot Center.
240
00:13:56,114 --> 00:13:57,782
Just give me a Bud Light.
241
00:13:57,783 --> 00:13:59,250
Comin' right up.
242
00:13:59,251 --> 00:14:00,985
Here we go.
243
00:14:00,986 --> 00:14:01,986
Oh.
244
00:14:01,987 --> 00:14:03,321
All right.
245
00:14:03,322 --> 00:14:05,689
Ahem.
Okay, uh- Whoa!
246
00:14:05,690 --> 00:14:07,758
Okay. Whoa-ho. That's, uh-
That's half price,
247
00:14:07,759 --> 00:14:10,128
that one right there.
That's half price.
248
00:14:10,129 --> 00:14:11,729
I mean,
I just don't know what to do.
249
00:14:11,730 --> 00:14:15,032
Should I talk to Steve?
Should I not talk to Steve?
250
00:14:15,033 --> 00:14:16,800
I mean,
is he ever gonna change?
251
00:14:17,936 --> 00:14:20,104
Uh, you know,
ladies,
252
00:14:20,105 --> 00:14:22,023
those drinks come
with free advice,
253
00:14:22,024 --> 00:14:24,058
and man problems...
254
00:14:24,059 --> 00:14:25,826
is my specialty.
255
00:14:25,827 --> 00:14:27,228
Oh.
256
00:14:27,229 --> 00:14:28,862
Well, can you tell me
how to get my husband
257
00:14:28,863 --> 00:14:30,697
to stop sleeping
with every woman he meets
258
00:14:30,698 --> 00:14:33,501
and spend about 10 minutes
with his own son?
259
00:14:33,502 --> 00:14:37,271
No, but let me set you ladies up
with some beer nuts.
260
00:14:54,673 --> 00:14:56,391
Hey.
261
00:14:56,392 --> 00:14:57,892
So... how'd it go?
262
00:14:57,893 --> 00:14:59,426
I did good.
263
00:14:59,427 --> 00:15:00,678
Great.
264
00:15:00,679 --> 00:15:03,330
I'm officially
a bartender's wife.
265
00:15:03,331 --> 00:15:07,402
Just what I've always wanted,
a husband who reeks of olives.
266
00:15:07,403 --> 00:15:10,020
Actually, you're gonna
have that either way.
267
00:15:12,074 --> 00:15:13,808
But don't worry.
I'm giving up bartending.
268
00:15:13,809 --> 00:15:15,176
I'm gonna stick with I.P.S.
269
00:15:15,177 --> 00:15:16,394
Really?
Yeah.
270
00:15:16,395 --> 00:15:17,545
I don't know.
All these years,
271
00:15:17,546 --> 00:15:19,747
I built up bartending to be
such this magical thing.
272
00:15:19,748 --> 00:15:21,282
You know,
it turns out it's just a-
273
00:15:21,283 --> 00:15:23,034
Another stupid job.
274
00:15:23,035 --> 00:15:24,802
I'll tell ya,
I'm glad I did it, though,
275
00:15:24,803 --> 00:15:28,773
'cause 15 years ago, oh,
I screwed up bigtime, you know?
276
00:15:28,774 --> 00:15:31,042
And tonight I just proved
that I could do it, you know?
277
00:15:31,043 --> 00:15:33,044
I- I just conquered my demon.
278
00:15:41,303 --> 00:15:42,870
Did you, uh...
279
00:15:42,871 --> 00:15:45,556
make this all tonight
in tips?
280
00:15:45,557 --> 00:15:47,291
Actually, more.
On the way home,
281
00:15:47,292 --> 00:15:49,760
I hit an Arby's drive-through
pretty hard.
282
00:15:51,012 --> 00:15:52,446
Are you sure
you're not giving up
283
00:15:52,447 --> 00:15:54,699
on this bartending thing
a little too soon?
284
00:15:54,700 --> 00:15:57,068
What are you talking about?
You said it was a dumb idea.
285
00:15:57,069 --> 00:15:58,686
Yeah,
but that was before... eh!
286
00:15:58,687 --> 00:16:00,088
I mean...
287
00:16:00,089 --> 00:16:01,722
honey, if you can make all this
288
00:16:01,723 --> 00:16:04,192
in one night
in some crappy bar in Queens,
289
00:16:04,193 --> 00:16:06,094
just think what you can make
in Manhattan.
290
00:16:06,095 --> 00:16:08,696
As a matter of fact, there's
a bar next-door to where I work.
291
00:16:08,697 --> 00:16:10,798
I know the owner.
I can get you in there.
292
00:16:10,799 --> 00:16:12,583
No, that's it.
I'm done with this whole thing.
293
00:16:12,584 --> 00:16:14,585
I'm over it.
I conquered my demon.
294
00:16:14,586 --> 00:16:16,454
I don't think you did.
What are ya-?
295
00:16:18,457 --> 00:16:19,623
What are you talkin' about?
296
00:16:19,624 --> 00:16:21,476
I conquered the crap
out of it.
297
00:16:21,477 --> 00:16:24,495
No. No, I don't think you-
You conquered your demon at all.
298
00:16:24,496 --> 00:16:25,997
You know,
now that I think about it,
299
00:16:25,998 --> 00:16:28,850
your demon
wasn't not trying,
300
00:16:28,851 --> 00:16:30,351
you know,
it was quitting.
301
00:16:30,352 --> 00:16:31,952
Yeah, that's your demon
right there.
302
00:16:31,953 --> 00:16:33,321
Quitter.
303
00:16:33,322 --> 00:16:34,705
No, no, no,
that's not my demon.
304
00:16:34,706 --> 00:16:37,608
I'll tell ya what my demon is.
My demon is you.
305
00:16:37,609 --> 00:16:40,110
Come on, Doug. All we've been
talking about is your dreams.
306
00:16:40,111 --> 00:16:41,312
What about my dreams?
307
00:16:41,313 --> 00:16:43,080
I've always wanted
to live in Manhattan,
308
00:16:43,081 --> 00:16:44,765
If we had more money,
we could do that.
309
00:16:44,766 --> 00:16:47,185
Look, I want you
to be happy, okay?
310
00:16:47,186 --> 00:16:49,487
Maybe I'll-
I'll take that I.P.S. test,
311
00:16:49,488 --> 00:16:51,155
and I can move up
through the company-
312
00:16:51,156 --> 00:16:53,074
Okay, you know what?
If I hear one more word
313
00:16:53,075 --> 00:16:56,044
about that stupid I.P.S. test,
I'm gonna puke.
314
00:16:57,679 --> 00:16:59,464
Come on, honey.
We could do this.
315
00:16:59,465 --> 00:17:00,898
I mean,
we'll have my salary.
316
00:17:00,899 --> 00:17:04,102
You'll be working in the bar
four or five times a week.
317
00:17:04,103 --> 00:17:07,388
In this dream, uh,
am I also working at I.P.S.?
318
00:17:07,389 --> 00:17:09,740
Manhattan ain't cheap, babe.
Okay?
319
00:17:09,741 --> 00:17:11,275
This is a whole new life for us!
320
00:17:11,276 --> 00:17:12,876
Yeah, but if I'm working
all the time,
321
00:17:12,877 --> 00:17:14,112
you'll never see me.
322
00:17:14,113 --> 00:17:16,230
Yeah,
but I'll have eh-heh!
323
00:17:20,819 --> 00:17:23,220
Thank you very much.
324
00:17:23,221 --> 00:17:24,855
Ah, Josephine,
my dear,
325
00:17:24,856 --> 00:17:27,075
I hope I can count
on your vote.
326
00:17:27,076 --> 00:17:29,309
Oh, well, actually I'm voting
for Mr. Barksdale.
327
00:17:29,310 --> 00:17:32,380
I think he's doing
a very nice job.
328
00:17:32,381 --> 00:17:33,664
I see.
329
00:17:33,665 --> 00:17:36,701
Welcome
to my enemies list.
330
00:17:37,803 --> 00:17:39,504
Spooner.
331
00:17:39,505 --> 00:17:42,807
I understand you've
been questioning my war record.
332
00:17:42,808 --> 00:17:44,592
I just think people
have a right to know
333
00:17:44,593 --> 00:17:47,395
why you didn't serve
in Vietnam.
334
00:17:47,396 --> 00:17:49,347
Because I was 60.
335
00:17:50,382 --> 00:17:53,083
Sixty or just plain yella?
336
00:17:55,120 --> 00:17:56,453
How are we doing
in the polls?
337
00:17:56,454 --> 00:17:58,623
Ten people say
they're gonna vote for you,
338
00:17:58,624 --> 00:18:01,508
16 for Barksdale,
and three for McGovern.
339
00:18:03,378 --> 00:18:04,862
There's my problem.
340
00:18:04,863 --> 00:18:07,748
He's got the black vote
all sewn up.
341
00:18:07,749 --> 00:18:09,866
Not much you can do
about that.
342
00:18:11,369 --> 00:18:13,804
Or... is there?
343
00:18:19,578 --> 00:18:20,561
Hey,
what's going on?
344
00:18:20,562 --> 00:18:22,380
You said there was
some sort of emergency.
345
00:18:22,381 --> 00:18:24,615
Ah, Deacon,
slap it high.
346
00:18:26,101 --> 00:18:27,435
What?
How's by you,
347
00:18:27,436 --> 00:18:30,654
my talented
and very equal friend?
348
00:18:32,056 --> 00:18:34,642
Wh-what exactly
is the emergency?
349
00:18:34,643 --> 00:18:36,860
Well, actually it was
an emergency of the heart.
350
00:18:36,861 --> 00:18:38,996
I haven't seen you
since the Million Man March,
351
00:18:38,997 --> 00:18:40,264
and I need a hug.
352
00:18:41,366 --> 00:18:42,466
Now.
353
00:18:44,403 --> 00:18:45,736
What the hell's goin' on?
354
00:18:45,737 --> 00:18:48,121
All right, look, I'm running
for senior center president,
355
00:18:48,122 --> 00:18:49,824
and I need the black vote
to win.
356
00:18:49,825 --> 00:18:51,775
Play ball,
and you and your family
357
00:18:51,776 --> 00:18:54,662
will have powdered milk
for the rest of your lives.
358
00:18:54,663 --> 00:18:58,916
What? Do you know
how insulting this is?
359
00:18:58,917 --> 00:19:00,150
Hey, everybody,
360
00:19:00,151 --> 00:19:02,620
Arthur Spooner
is a bad man.
361
00:19:04,489 --> 00:19:07,658
You hear that, everyone?
I'm bad!
362
00:19:22,824 --> 00:19:23,991
They keep coming!
363
00:19:23,992 --> 00:19:25,993
Why is everyone so thirsty?
364
00:19:25,994 --> 00:19:29,947
You're doing great, just move
a little faster, honey.
365
00:19:29,948 --> 00:19:33,450
Hey.
Great bartender, huh?
366
00:19:33,451 --> 00:19:34,919
Cute too,
don't you think?
367
00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:36,753
He's kinda sweaty.
368
00:19:36,754 --> 00:19:38,389
And I ain't hatin' it.
369
00:19:40,425 --> 00:19:42,343
Whoa.
Fifty-cent tip.
370
00:19:42,344 --> 00:19:45,946
How am I gonna get
to Manhattan with that?
371
00:19:48,884 --> 00:19:51,802
Doug, do that.
Do what he's doing.
372
00:19:51,803 --> 00:19:53,003
What?
373
00:19:53,004 --> 00:19:54,522
Do the bottle flip.
374
00:19:54,523 --> 00:19:56,490
The only time I did that move
was in class,
375
00:19:56,491 --> 00:19:58,959
and it was
with a Nerf bottle.
376
00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:00,861
Do it for me, baby,
please?
377
00:20:03,681 --> 00:20:04,932
Hey!
378
00:20:22,183 --> 00:20:23,951
Okay.
379
00:20:23,952 --> 00:20:27,788
So the bartending didn't
work out as well as we hoped.
380
00:20:27,789 --> 00:20:30,358
But you're still great,
381
00:20:30,359 --> 00:20:32,393
and you're still talented.
382
00:20:33,478 --> 00:20:34,578
Okay, you know what?
383
00:20:34,579 --> 00:20:36,914
Tomorrow morning,
you are gonna march in there,
384
00:20:36,915 --> 00:20:39,049
and you are gonna take
that I.P.S. test,
385
00:20:39,050 --> 00:20:41,218
and you're gonna show 'em
what's what.
386
00:20:41,519 --> 00:20:43,037
Oh.
Yeah.
387
00:20:44,539 --> 00:20:47,841
"Employee demonstrates
no special skills
388
00:20:47,842 --> 00:20:49,977
"or potential
for advancement.
389
00:20:49,978 --> 00:20:52,213
"His qualifications
for his current job
390
00:20:52,214 --> 00:20:54,148
are questionable
at best. "
391
00:20:56,351 --> 00:20:57,784
Well...
392
00:20:58,519 --> 00:21:00,254
now we know.
393
00:21:05,293 --> 00:21:07,261
Spooner.
394
00:21:07,262 --> 00:21:08,295
Hello, Barksdale.
395
00:21:09,965 --> 00:21:12,099
Congratulations
on your unanimous victory.
396
00:21:13,552 --> 00:21:16,354
I hope we can put
all this ugliness behind us.
397
00:21:16,355 --> 00:21:17,454
'Fraid not.
398
00:21:27,649 --> 00:21:29,549
Just not
in the face.
28306
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