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1
00:00:52,884 --> 00:00:54,851
All righty.
2
00:00:54,852 --> 00:00:58,622
I'm thinking
something cocoa.
3
00:01:02,226 --> 00:01:03,359
Oh, no.
4
00:01:04,362 --> 00:01:06,529
Oh, for the love of Pete.
5
00:01:08,799 --> 00:01:11,468
Don't panic. Don't panic. All
right. What else we got here?
6
00:01:11,469 --> 00:01:14,804
Fiber, fiber, fiber.
Bran, bran.
7
00:01:14,805 --> 00:01:16,573
Thank you, Arthur.
8
00:01:18,526 --> 00:01:20,177
Okay. Keys.
9
00:01:21,145 --> 00:01:22,696
Purse.
10
00:01:22,697 --> 00:01:24,730
Sunglasses.
Okay, bye, honey.
11
00:01:24,731 --> 00:01:25,731
Sweetie, uh...
12
00:01:25,732 --> 00:01:27,684
trying to keep it
together here,
13
00:01:27,685 --> 00:01:29,502
and know that
I'm not mad at you.
14
00:01:29,503 --> 00:01:32,188
I'm mad at the situation.
15
00:01:32,189 --> 00:01:35,242
We're out of Cocoa Puffs.
16
00:01:35,243 --> 00:01:38,128
So? There's a whole cabinet
full of cereal there, hon.
17
00:01:38,129 --> 00:01:40,414
Thank you,
but I'm plenty regular. Um...
18
00:01:43,067 --> 00:01:44,901
See, you told me
if I wanted something
19
00:01:44,902 --> 00:01:47,254
to put it on the shopping list,
which I did.
20
00:01:47,255 --> 00:01:51,425
If you can look here, see?
Cocoa Puffs, four boxes.
21
00:01:51,426 --> 00:01:53,693
I'm doing my part.
22
00:01:53,694 --> 00:01:54,945
I'm just not understanding
23
00:01:54,946 --> 00:01:57,931
where we're going
off the tracks.
24
00:01:57,932 --> 00:01:59,332
Let me tell you
something, Doug.
25
00:01:59,333 --> 00:02:01,401
I had a total
of four hours sleep,
26
00:02:01,402 --> 00:02:03,303
and that's because I spent
the other 20 hours
27
00:02:03,304 --> 00:02:05,038
working on three
different projects.
28
00:02:05,039 --> 00:02:07,007
And it's all stuff
that I haven't done before,
29
00:02:07,008 --> 00:02:10,543
so if I hear the words "cocoa"
or "puff" one more time,
30
00:02:10,544 --> 00:02:13,313
you will be eating
my fist for breakfast.
31
00:02:14,999 --> 00:02:17,234
I'm just saying
the list was your idea.
32
00:02:22,707 --> 00:02:24,057
All right, gang,
it's story time,
33
00:02:24,058 --> 00:02:28,027
so cell phones off,
Heffernan on.
34
00:02:28,028 --> 00:02:30,096
All right, you know that guy
I'm delivering to,
35
00:02:30,097 --> 00:02:32,766
the guy who's
becoming a woman?
36
00:02:32,767 --> 00:02:34,784
Well,
the beard is still there,
37
00:02:34,785 --> 00:02:38,889
but as of yesterday,
the boobs are in.
38
00:02:38,890 --> 00:02:40,640
Big ones?
39
00:02:40,641 --> 00:02:42,476
No. He went small and perky.
40
00:02:42,477 --> 00:02:45,362
Damn. If you're gonna do it,
how do you not go huge?
41
00:02:45,363 --> 00:02:47,564
Exactly. I mean, I'm a B cup,
and I've done nothing.
42
00:02:48,882 --> 00:02:50,283
That's not even
the funniest part.
43
00:02:50,284 --> 00:02:51,835
Funny part is while
he's signing,
44
00:02:51,836 --> 00:02:53,103
he's squeezing 'em together,
45
00:02:53,104 --> 00:02:55,388
and leaning in, and I'm giving
him nothing, you know?
46
00:02:55,389 --> 00:02:58,491
Hey, guys, I want to introduce
you to, uh, Tim Murphy.
47
00:02:58,492 --> 00:03:00,077
Hey.
What's up, man?
48
00:03:00,078 --> 00:03:03,330
Guy, what are you doing?
I'm in the middle of my story.
49
00:03:03,331 --> 00:03:04,998
I'm just introducing
my new trainee.
50
00:03:04,999 --> 00:03:06,983
You're training somebody?
51
00:03:06,984 --> 00:03:09,352
What's your
first lesson gonna be,
52
00:03:09,353 --> 00:03:12,756
how to drive a 14-foot truck
under a 13-foot underpass?
53
00:03:13,824 --> 00:03:16,543
All right. The sign was covered
with ivy, all right?
54
00:03:16,544 --> 00:03:17,544
It was, like, a year ago.
55
00:03:17,545 --> 00:03:18,979
When are you
gonna let that go?
56
00:03:18,980 --> 00:03:22,315
Probably when somebody does
something stupider, so never.
57
00:03:22,316 --> 00:03:24,234
Hey, but at least he got
to drive back to the depot
58
00:03:24,235 --> 00:03:28,355
in a convertible.
You know what I'm sayin'?
59
00:03:40,284 --> 00:03:42,619
Hi. I'm Michelle.
60
00:03:42,620 --> 00:03:44,621
They sent me
from upstairs.
61
00:03:44,622 --> 00:03:46,856
I just told Patty that
the specs aren't ready yet.
62
00:03:46,857 --> 00:03:48,875
Oh, no.
63
00:03:48,876 --> 00:03:50,210
I'm your assistant.
64
00:03:50,211 --> 00:03:51,077
My what?
65
00:03:51,078 --> 00:03:52,546
Your assistant?
66
00:03:52,547 --> 00:03:54,781
No, I don't...
have an assistant.
67
00:03:54,782 --> 00:03:56,282
I am an assistant.
68
00:03:56,283 --> 00:03:59,603
Miss Boone said you could use
some extra help.
69
00:03:59,604 --> 00:04:02,989
Okay.
Is this a practical joke?
70
00:04:02,990 --> 00:04:04,858
Did Debbie put you up
to this because I said
71
00:04:04,859 --> 00:04:07,277
her ankle boots
made her look slutty?
72
00:04:07,278 --> 00:04:10,480
No. Here's
the assignment memo.
73
00:04:12,616 --> 00:04:15,685
Mm. So you're
really my assistant?
74
00:04:15,686 --> 00:04:19,039
Yes.
So what can I do for you?
75
00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:20,523
Um, okay, hold on.
I'm new at this.
76
00:04:20,524 --> 00:04:21,758
I'll find something. Um...
77
00:04:21,759 --> 00:04:23,627
Looks like you could
use some more coffee.
78
00:04:23,628 --> 00:04:25,528
Yes. Yes,
I should've thought of that.
79
00:04:25,529 --> 00:04:26,562
Yeah. Cream and sugar.
80
00:04:26,563 --> 00:04:27,647
Okay.
Okay.
81
00:04:27,648 --> 00:04:29,282
And make it snappy.
82
00:04:29,283 --> 00:04:31,168
I'm kidding.
I was just doing a thing.
83
00:04:31,169 --> 00:04:32,335
Oh yeah.
Nah.
84
00:04:32,336 --> 00:04:33,520
Okay, so I'm looking at him,
85
00:04:33,521 --> 00:04:35,522
and I never thought I'd
say this to another man,
86
00:04:35,523 --> 00:04:39,176
but I was like,
"dude, you gotta put on a bra. "
87
00:04:39,177 --> 00:04:41,077
You know,
either that or go up a button,
88
00:04:41,078 --> 00:04:42,479
'cause it's so annoying.
89
00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:44,181
Speaking of annoying,
we had that guy,
90
00:04:44,182 --> 00:04:45,715
sounded like
Gilbert Gottfried:
91
00:04:45,716 --> 00:04:48,318
You want me to sign this? Okay.
92
00:04:48,319 --> 00:04:50,453
Should I have
a lawyer present?
93
00:04:50,454 --> 00:04:53,740
The thing is,
I don't trust you people.
94
00:04:53,741 --> 00:04:55,058
That's the deal.
95
00:04:56,994 --> 00:04:58,628
That was a good
impression.
96
00:04:58,629 --> 00:05:00,947
Yeah, that was a real treat.
All right, anyway, uh...
97
00:05:00,948 --> 00:05:03,250
So the guy's staring at me-
98
00:05:03,251 --> 00:05:04,217
Who else
do you do?
99
00:05:04,218 --> 00:05:06,369
Can you do Eartha Kitt?
100
00:05:06,370 --> 00:05:08,004
You guys like Adam Sandler?
101
00:05:08,005 --> 00:05:10,006
All right. Here's
some Adam Sandler for you:
102
00:05:10,007 --> 00:05:12,609
Hey, uh, you guys
are very nice people.
103
00:05:12,610 --> 00:05:14,761
I've had a great time,
uh, on my first day.
104
00:05:14,762 --> 00:05:16,546
I just don't know
what I.P.S. stands for.
105
00:05:16,547 --> 00:05:17,680
I think it stands for
106
00:05:17,681 --> 00:05:20,049
Immature People Sitting
around doing nothing.
107
00:05:20,050 --> 00:05:21,518
Hee-hee-hee,
hoo-hoo-hoo.
108
00:05:21,519 --> 00:05:23,470
That is dead on,
man.
109
00:05:23,471 --> 00:05:27,440
Oh, thanks, buddy.
You're too kind. Danke.
110
00:05:30,394 --> 00:05:32,528
What's that? Lunch Thursday?
I don't know.
111
00:05:32,529 --> 00:05:35,832
I'm gonna have to check with
my assistant. Tell you what,
112
00:05:35,833 --> 00:05:38,801
why don't you have your
assistant call my assistant?
113
00:05:38,802 --> 00:05:41,070
What's that?
You don't have an assistant?
114
00:05:41,071 --> 00:05:42,822
Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
115
00:05:42,823 --> 00:05:44,274
Hey, honey.
116
00:05:44,275 --> 00:05:46,009
Remember last week,
I made that delivery
117
00:05:46,010 --> 00:05:48,445
and that little dog bit my ankle? Doug,
118
00:05:48,446 --> 00:05:50,764
you are not gonna believe what
happened to me at work today.
119
00:05:50,765 --> 00:05:52,716
They gave me an assistant.
120
00:05:52,717 --> 00:05:54,700
That's great. Nobody deserves
it more than you.
121
00:05:54,701 --> 00:06:00,056
Now... what's a funnier
animal than a dog?
122
00:06:00,057 --> 00:06:01,758
What are you talking about?
123
00:06:01,759 --> 00:06:03,610
I need a great story
to tell the guys tomorrow,
124
00:06:03,611 --> 00:06:06,096
so I need a funnier animal.
125
00:06:06,097 --> 00:06:07,981
I don't know.
Just name an animal.
126
00:06:07,982 --> 00:06:09,733
All right. An eagle.
127
00:06:09,734 --> 00:06:12,284
Okay. Uh...
128
00:06:12,285 --> 00:06:15,438
you wanna explain to me how
an eagle's gonna bite my ankle?
129
00:06:15,439 --> 00:06:18,275
You know what, Doug?
I don't have time for this.
130
00:06:18,276 --> 00:06:21,278
Why don't you call my assistant
131
00:06:21,279 --> 00:06:23,746
and set up a meeting.
132
00:06:25,216 --> 00:06:26,916
I got it. Would it be okay
if I told that story
133
00:06:26,917 --> 00:06:29,035
about when you got
the ultrasound of your ovary?
134
00:06:29,036 --> 00:06:31,755
No, you cannot tell that story.
What are you, an idiot?
135
00:06:31,756 --> 00:06:34,290
Come on.
It looked like Shrek.
136
00:06:39,180 --> 00:06:42,048
Okay. I delivered the TRDs
to the third floor,
137
00:06:42,049 --> 00:06:43,650
picked up
the lease applications,
138
00:06:43,651 --> 00:06:46,386
and here's your fruit salad,
no grapes.
139
00:06:46,387 --> 00:06:48,588
Wow. That was
a productive 10 minutes.
140
00:06:48,589 --> 00:06:51,024
So what should I do now?
141
00:06:51,025 --> 00:06:53,677
Damn it. All right,
here's something you can do.
142
00:06:53,678 --> 00:06:54,944
Get me a pair of work boots
143
00:06:54,945 --> 00:06:57,781
so I can kick the crap
out of this computer.
144
00:06:57,782 --> 00:06:58,848
Anything I can help with?
145
00:06:58,849 --> 00:07:00,984
Oh, no.
These are budget breakdowns.
146
00:07:00,985 --> 00:07:02,952
They're pretty complicated.
147
00:07:02,953 --> 00:07:06,689
I've done those before.
Let me take a look.
148
00:07:06,690 --> 00:07:08,258
Okay.
149
00:07:08,259 --> 00:07:10,760
You know, you should
do it in two columns.
150
00:07:10,761 --> 00:07:12,195
It's much faster.
151
00:07:12,196 --> 00:07:14,630
Oh. Like that?
152
00:07:14,631 --> 00:07:21,237
No. It's actually
more like this.
153
00:07:21,238 --> 00:07:23,873
Okay. Then you just cut
and paste, and hit control-k,
154
00:07:23,874 --> 00:07:25,442
which brings you
to the bottom line,
155
00:07:25,443 --> 00:07:28,178
which gives you
your total.
156
00:07:28,179 --> 00:07:29,412
Huh.
157
00:07:29,413 --> 00:07:31,481
And then you just
drag and drop the tax rates
158
00:07:31,482 --> 00:07:32,648
and you're finished.
Oh.
159
00:07:32,649 --> 00:07:34,117
You want me to do
another one?
160
00:07:34,118 --> 00:07:38,104
Yeah. Why don't you just go
ahead and try a few more there.
161
00:07:38,105 --> 00:07:40,773
All right. I'm glad
you're all gathered,
162
00:07:40,774 --> 00:07:43,242
'cause you're about to
hear the tale of a driver,
163
00:07:43,243 --> 00:07:44,911
a swollen ankle,
164
00:07:44,912 --> 00:07:47,914
and get this,
an iguana.
165
00:07:47,915 --> 00:07:49,949
Hey, Doug,
you mind?
166
00:07:49,950 --> 00:07:51,651
Uh, show's about
to start.
167
00:07:51,652 --> 00:07:53,586
What show?
168
00:07:53,587 --> 00:07:56,155
Hoo-ah.
169
00:07:56,156 --> 00:07:57,757
I hope you boys are ready
170
00:07:57,758 --> 00:08:01,060
for retired Colonel Frank Slade,
171
00:08:01,061 --> 00:08:03,513
reporting for duty. Hoo-ah.
172
00:08:03,514 --> 00:08:06,782
Hey, that's, uh, that's pretty
funny. How old is that movie?
173
00:08:06,783 --> 00:08:08,451
Was it, like,
early '80s or something?
174
00:08:08,452 --> 00:08:10,036
You're overthinking,
Heffernan.
175
00:08:10,037 --> 00:08:11,805
Just enjoy it.
176
00:08:11,806 --> 00:08:13,606
Hey, guys, guys.
Watch this.
177
00:08:13,607 --> 00:08:18,711
All right. Christopher Walken
as an I.P.S. driver. Go.
178
00:08:18,712 --> 00:08:19,845
All right.
179
00:08:19,846 --> 00:08:21,731
Listen...
180
00:08:21,732 --> 00:08:25,068
the address on your
package is smudged.
181
00:08:27,288 --> 00:08:30,339
Is that a two or a seven?
I don't know.
182
00:08:30,340 --> 00:08:34,077
It's a quandary
that's perplexing me. Come on.
183
00:08:35,496 --> 00:08:37,831
Finally some real laughs
around here.
184
00:08:37,832 --> 00:08:39,966
Danny, can I-
185
00:08:39,967 --> 00:08:43,253
Ah. What can I do you for?
186
00:08:43,254 --> 00:08:44,837
You know lunchtime is my time.
187
00:08:44,838 --> 00:08:46,423
Why are you pushing the new guy?
188
00:08:46,424 --> 00:08:47,723
You wanna know why?
189
00:08:47,724 --> 00:08:49,392
Because the sign
190
00:08:49,393 --> 00:08:53,263
was covered with ivy.
191
00:08:53,264 --> 00:08:56,433
So that's what
this is about?
192
00:08:56,434 --> 00:08:59,102
Yeah, it is. Yeah. See,
Tim doesn't take shots at me.
193
00:08:59,103 --> 00:09:01,270
There are no victims
in his comedy.
194
00:09:01,271 --> 00:09:03,906
It just makes you feel good.
195
00:09:11,999 --> 00:09:15,869
Hey, did I ever tell you
Carrie's ovary looks like Shrek?
196
00:09:15,870 --> 00:09:19,989
That's your wife, man.
197
00:09:19,990 --> 00:09:23,093
Why would you tell me
something like that?
198
00:09:23,094 --> 00:09:25,778
'Cause it's funny.
199
00:09:40,727 --> 00:09:42,627
Hey, Carrie, we're heading out
for happy hour.
200
00:09:42,628 --> 00:09:43,979
You wanna come?
Oh, thanks.
201
00:09:43,980 --> 00:09:47,182
I'm pretty swamped here.
202
00:09:47,183 --> 00:09:50,986
Oh, too bad. It's dollar
shooters at Tooty McGee's.
203
00:09:50,987 --> 00:09:52,237
Maybe next time.
204
00:09:52,238 --> 00:09:53,154
Okay.
205
00:09:53,155 --> 00:09:55,189
Carrie, I could finish these
if you wanna go.
206
00:09:55,190 --> 00:09:58,360
Oh, I couldn't ask you
to do that.
207
00:09:58,361 --> 00:10:01,113
Could I?
208
00:10:01,114 --> 00:10:02,447
I'd be happy to.
209
00:10:02,448 --> 00:10:05,684
Really? Okay, thanks.
Hold up, Lisa.
210
00:10:10,206 --> 00:10:11,640
Hey, baby.
211
00:10:11,641 --> 00:10:14,442
I got taquitos for dinner.
Is that okay?
212
00:10:16,712 --> 00:10:20,314
Taquitos give me gas...
213
00:10:22,518 --> 00:10:25,503
So you gotta ask
yourself one question.
214
00:10:27,006 --> 00:10:30,275
Do you feel lucky, punk?
215
00:10:31,376 --> 00:10:34,312
Why are you
calling me "punk"?
216
00:10:34,313 --> 00:10:37,783
I'm doing an impression
of somebody.
217
00:10:37,784 --> 00:10:41,153
Who? My dad?
218
00:10:41,154 --> 00:10:43,705
No.
219
00:10:43,706 --> 00:10:47,776
My friends
call me Clint.
220
00:10:50,979 --> 00:10:52,263
Eastwood.
221
00:10:52,264 --> 00:10:54,966
Clint Eastwood.
How do you not get that?
222
00:10:54,967 --> 00:10:59,003
I'm sorry, honey. I'm sorry.
I had five shooters.
223
00:10:59,004 --> 00:11:00,705
Excuse me, ma'am.
224
00:11:00,706 --> 00:11:02,373
I'm sorry to
bother you there,
225
00:11:02,374 --> 00:11:04,893
but, uh, you said
226
00:11:04,894 --> 00:11:06,577
you had, uh, five shooters,
227
00:11:06,578 --> 00:11:08,613
and there were six shooters
at the crime scene.
228
00:11:08,614 --> 00:11:11,316
That's all I'm saying.
229
00:11:11,317 --> 00:11:13,769
Why are you
talking like that?
230
00:11:13,770 --> 00:11:17,606
You mean, why am I talking
exactly like Columbo?
231
00:11:17,607 --> 00:11:20,025
What are you doing?
I don't know.
232
00:11:20,026 --> 00:11:22,410
Why don't you ask Dee
from What's Happening?
233
00:11:22,411 --> 00:11:27,215
Ooh, you in trouble, Raj.
234
00:11:27,216 --> 00:11:30,085
I'm tellin' mama.
235
00:11:34,173 --> 00:11:36,625
Now you're just
creeping me out.
236
00:11:38,026 --> 00:11:41,296
The thing is,
Danny's new trainee.
237
00:11:41,297 --> 00:11:44,248
He does all these impressions,
and the guys love it.
238
00:11:44,249 --> 00:11:47,602
I don't know. It's just that
I'm the funny guy at work.
239
00:11:47,603 --> 00:11:48,804
Really?
240
00:11:48,805 --> 00:11:50,938
Yes.
241
00:11:50,939 --> 00:11:52,407
Forget it, all right?
242
00:11:52,408 --> 00:11:54,142
I'm sorry I brought it up.
243
00:11:54,143 --> 00:11:57,495
Oh, honey, I'm sorry.
244
00:11:57,496 --> 00:11:59,797
No, I mean, you are funny.
245
00:11:59,798 --> 00:12:02,033
That's one of the reasons
why I fell in love with you,
246
00:12:02,034 --> 00:12:04,201
because you always
make me laugh.
247
00:12:04,202 --> 00:12:06,404
But not by doing
lame impressions.
248
00:12:06,405 --> 00:12:09,191
Just by being yourself.
249
00:12:11,427 --> 00:12:14,212
Maybe- Maybe you're right.
250
00:12:14,213 --> 00:12:16,448
So, Warren,
251
00:12:16,449 --> 00:12:18,015
how was your day?
252
00:12:19,552 --> 00:12:23,387
Well, today I delivered
to a lumber yard.
253
00:12:23,388 --> 00:12:24,522
Whoa.
254
00:12:28,744 --> 00:12:31,613
That- That sounds pretty cool.
255
00:12:31,614 --> 00:12:33,081
Yeah.
256
00:12:33,082 --> 00:12:36,685
It was like going
to a family reunion.
257
00:12:40,439 --> 00:12:44,809
Get it?
Because I'm made of wood.
258
00:12:44,810 --> 00:12:47,678
Wood lumber yard.
259
00:12:55,454 --> 00:12:58,673
What else is in the news?
260
00:12:58,674 --> 00:13:01,325
This is physically painful.
261
00:13:09,368 --> 00:13:12,771
Okay. Here are
the budget breakdowns.
262
00:13:12,772 --> 00:13:14,538
Ah. Great job.
263
00:13:14,539 --> 00:13:16,691
That's what I'm here for.
264
00:13:16,692 --> 00:13:18,275
Yeah?
265
00:13:18,276 --> 00:13:20,478
Here are
the budget breakdowns.
266
00:13:20,479 --> 00:13:21,780
Great job.
267
00:13:21,781 --> 00:13:23,698
That's what I'm here for.
268
00:13:23,699 --> 00:13:25,984
You know, Carrie, you've always
been a good assistant,
269
00:13:25,985 --> 00:13:29,621
but lately, the quality of your
work has really skyrocketed.
270
00:13:29,622 --> 00:13:31,990
It's like all of a sudden,
you get it.
271
00:13:31,991 --> 00:13:33,775
Yeah. I feel like I get it.
272
00:13:36,746 --> 00:13:39,881
Hey, Deac, tomorrow
at lunchtime,
273
00:13:39,882 --> 00:13:42,033
round up the guys,
'cause the Amazing Flame-o
274
00:13:42,034 --> 00:13:45,420
is gonna be spittin' fire.
275
00:13:45,421 --> 00:13:46,221
Doug-
No, it's easy.
276
00:13:46,222 --> 00:13:47,922
I just coat my mouth
with lighter fluid,
277
00:13:47,923 --> 00:13:49,090
then it's like:
278
00:13:51,827 --> 00:13:54,145
That's entertainment.
279
00:13:54,146 --> 00:13:55,931
All right, brother.
Sit down.
280
00:13:55,932 --> 00:13:57,515
Why?
Well, we need to talk.
281
00:13:57,516 --> 00:13:59,050
Now, what's up
with you, man?
282
00:14:01,904 --> 00:14:03,788
Just the new driver, Tim.
283
00:14:03,789 --> 00:14:06,874
I mean, everyone knows
I'm the funny guy around here,
284
00:14:06,875 --> 00:14:08,793
but then he comes
in with his impressions,
285
00:14:08,794 --> 00:14:10,728
and he just
steals my thunder.
286
00:14:10,729 --> 00:14:12,781
It's messed up.
You know what I'm saying?
287
00:14:12,782 --> 00:14:16,868
You know,
I- I'm pretty funny.
288
00:14:16,869 --> 00:14:18,036
What?
289
00:14:18,037 --> 00:14:19,604
Well, you said
you were the funny guy,
290
00:14:19,605 --> 00:14:21,923
but, you know, I get some laughs
around here, too.
291
00:14:21,924 --> 00:14:24,292
Maybe nervous ones.
You're like seven feet tall.
292
00:14:24,293 --> 00:14:27,128
At least I didn't go out
and buy myself a puppet.
293
00:14:27,129 --> 00:14:30,248
I didn't buy it.
It's a rental, Lurch.
294
00:14:32,151 --> 00:14:34,218
Hey, my boy Tim
just radioed in.
295
00:14:34,219 --> 00:14:36,821
He's on a record pace for Zone 6. Yeah?
296
00:14:36,822 --> 00:14:39,024
Fast and funny. Ha ha.
297
00:14:39,025 --> 00:14:41,443
And you might want to be here
when he gets back.
298
00:14:41,444 --> 00:14:45,563
He's gonna do a medley
of every Baldwin brother.
299
00:14:45,564 --> 00:14:47,832
Cool.
300
00:14:57,192 --> 00:14:59,661
Zone 6, Zone 6,
come in, Zone 6.
301
00:14:59,662 --> 00:15:01,963
Dispatch for Zone 6.
302
00:15:01,964 --> 00:15:03,865
Yeah. Go, dispatch.
303
00:15:03,866 --> 00:15:07,168
Yeah. Murphy, got a couple late
night pick-ups for you.
304
00:15:07,169 --> 00:15:09,971
Uh, first I'm gonna need you
to go into Manhattan,
305
00:15:09,972 --> 00:15:13,708
Uh, 125 MacDougal Street.
306
00:15:13,709 --> 00:15:17,979
Then you gotta come back out
on the Triborough Bridge,
307
00:15:17,980 --> 00:15:20,615
and head on over to LaGuardia.
308
00:15:20,616 --> 00:15:23,768
Okay. What terminal?
309
00:15:23,769 --> 00:15:24,935
Air...
310
00:15:24,936 --> 00:15:28,023
Jordan.
311
00:15:28,024 --> 00:15:30,825
Uh, dispatch, that routing
sounds a little off.
312
00:15:30,826 --> 00:15:33,444
Oh, that routing sounds a little
off? Does it sound a little off?
313
00:15:33,445 --> 00:15:35,213
Let me tell you something there,
Murphy.
314
00:15:35,214 --> 00:15:39,884
You've been working here a day.
I've been here for 27 years.
315
00:15:39,885 --> 00:15:41,719
Okay. Sorry. I'm sorry.
316
00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:45,757
That's all right, kid.
I know you're nervous.
317
00:15:45,758 --> 00:15:50,829
Now, how familiar
are you with New Jersey?
318
00:15:57,802 --> 00:16:01,754
So, Danny,
where's your, uh, trainee?
319
00:16:01,755 --> 00:16:04,091
He'll be here.
Really?
320
00:16:04,092 --> 00:16:08,345
Well, it looks like Rich Little
is Rich Little late.
321
00:16:10,114 --> 00:16:11,598
It looks like
his next impression
322
00:16:11,599 --> 00:16:13,567
is gonna be of a guy
looking for a new job, right?
323
00:16:13,568 --> 00:16:15,635
Yi-e-yi.
324
00:16:15,636 --> 00:16:19,356
Would you like paper or plastic?
Yi-e-yi.
325
00:16:24,095 --> 00:16:25,696
Hey, I ever tell
you guys the story
326
00:16:25,697 --> 00:16:28,899
of a hot cup of coffee,
a giant pothole,
327
00:16:28,900 --> 00:16:31,585
and a scar down south?
328
00:16:33,754 --> 00:16:37,291
Hey, guys, a call just
came in about Tim. He's, uh-
329
00:16:37,292 --> 00:16:38,291
He's what? He's lost,
330
00:16:38,292 --> 00:16:40,877
and he's calling his mommy
to pick him up?
331
00:16:42,964 --> 00:16:44,131
Nah. He's in the hospital.
332
00:16:44,132 --> 00:16:45,766
Huh? What happened?
333
00:16:45,767 --> 00:16:47,551
He was somewhere in Jersey,
and he got jumped.
334
00:16:47,552 --> 00:16:48,784
Why the hell
was he in Jersey?
335
00:16:48,785 --> 00:16:50,337
I don't know,
but some guys
336
00:16:50,338 --> 00:16:52,839
pulled him out of his truck
and beat him pretty severely.
337
00:16:58,479 --> 00:16:59,730
Hey, Carrie.
338
00:16:59,731 --> 00:17:02,232
Oh, morning, Miss Boone. Um-
339
00:17:02,233 --> 00:17:04,367
I've got a project
I'd like you to take a shot at.
340
00:17:04,368 --> 00:17:06,203
It's normally
something I'd handle,
341
00:17:06,204 --> 00:17:09,106
but you've proven
you're up to the challenge.
342
00:17:09,107 --> 00:17:10,207
What do you say?
343
00:17:10,208 --> 00:17:12,525
Uh, well...
344
00:17:14,045 --> 00:17:15,829
Bring it on.
345
00:17:15,830 --> 00:17:17,114
Great.
Okay.
346
00:17:18,933 --> 00:17:21,001
Sorry I'm late,
Carrie,
347
00:17:21,002 --> 00:17:22,368
but I-I-I
just found out
348
00:17:22,369 --> 00:17:25,222
my boyfriend's been
transferred to Denver.
349
00:17:25,223 --> 00:17:27,707
Oh, you poor thing.
350
00:17:27,708 --> 00:17:31,011
Would getting right to work
take your mind off of it?
351
00:17:31,012 --> 00:17:33,814
No. I- I'm going with him.
352
00:17:33,815 --> 00:17:36,382
We're planning
on getting married,
353
00:17:36,383 --> 00:17:38,084
so I'm sorry,
354
00:17:38,085 --> 00:17:41,571
but Friday's gonna
have to be my last day.
355
00:17:41,572 --> 00:17:43,623
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.
356
00:17:43,624 --> 00:17:45,826
Back it up.
357
00:17:45,827 --> 00:17:47,326
Why? What's wrong?
358
00:17:47,327 --> 00:17:50,247
Do you even know this guy?
I mean, where'd you guys meet?
359
00:17:50,248 --> 00:17:52,366
In ninth grade.
360
00:17:52,367 --> 00:17:54,668
Ninth grade?
Now, what is this,
361
00:17:54,669 --> 00:17:58,071
an arranged marriage
by the village elders?
362
00:17:58,072 --> 00:18:00,540
You gotta play the field
a little bit, you know?
363
00:18:00,541 --> 00:18:02,876
I don't wanna play
the field.
364
00:18:02,877 --> 00:18:05,679
You know, um, I didn't want
to have to tell you this,
365
00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:08,314
but remember when
you brought him here?
366
00:18:08,315 --> 00:18:10,684
He hit on me.
367
00:18:10,685 --> 00:18:12,118
What?
368
00:18:12,119 --> 00:18:14,571
Yeah. Yeah.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
369
00:18:14,572 --> 00:18:17,391
I just- I just don't
want you to get hurt.
370
00:18:17,392 --> 00:18:18,725
You know what
doesn't hurt?
371
00:18:18,726 --> 00:18:21,194
A hard day's work.
372
00:18:21,195 --> 00:18:24,731
You know, Carrie, I've got a lot
of sick days saved up,
373
00:18:24,732 --> 00:18:28,952
so I think I'll use them
and make today my last day.
374
00:18:28,953 --> 00:18:30,670
Okay. I'm gonna level
with you, all right?
375
00:18:30,671 --> 00:18:34,307
Um, I've been given
an incredible opportunity
376
00:18:34,308 --> 00:18:36,660
based on your talent
and hard work.
377
00:18:36,661 --> 00:18:38,412
So how about this?
378
00:18:38,413 --> 00:18:42,064
Stay, and I'll give you
the big desk.
379
00:18:42,065 --> 00:18:43,400
Huh?
380
00:18:43,401 --> 00:18:44,934
Bye, Carrie.
381
00:18:44,935 --> 00:18:46,253
Okay, fine, go.
382
00:18:46,254 --> 00:18:49,438
I think I can handle my work
on my own, thank you.
383
00:18:54,995 --> 00:18:57,697
No idea what I'm
looking at here.
384
00:19:02,987 --> 00:19:05,155
That's it.
They pull me out of my truck,
385
00:19:05,156 --> 00:19:07,140
I turn into Sam Kinison.
I'm sittin' there goin':
386
00:19:07,141 --> 00:19:10,544
You know, I don't think there's
anywhere on this route
387
00:19:10,545 --> 00:19:12,946
where I was supposed
to pick up a beating. Oh.
388
00:19:12,947 --> 00:19:14,113
Ohh.
389
00:19:15,683 --> 00:19:16,983
You jerks.
390
00:19:16,984 --> 00:19:18,869
Oh, man.
Half dead
391
00:19:18,870 --> 00:19:20,820
and he's still slaying us.
392
00:19:20,821 --> 00:19:23,689
We love you, man.
393
00:19:23,690 --> 00:19:25,575
What were you doing
in Jersey, anyway?
394
00:19:25,576 --> 00:19:26,643
Dispatch sent me.
395
00:19:26,644 --> 00:19:29,129
But I guess some guy was playing
a joke on me, so...
396
00:19:29,130 --> 00:19:30,763
Some joke.
What a jerk.
397
00:19:30,764 --> 00:19:33,333
Can you believe that?
398
00:19:38,406 --> 00:19:40,206
Listen, we're gonna
let you get some rest.
399
00:19:40,207 --> 00:19:41,774
All right.
You're an inspiration.
400
00:19:41,775 --> 00:19:42,775
Thanks for coming.
401
00:19:42,776 --> 00:19:44,728
Feel better, brother.
Thank you.
402
00:19:44,729 --> 00:19:46,863
Take care.
Thank you so much.
403
00:19:46,864 --> 00:19:48,864
All right,
I'll talk to him.
404
00:19:48,865 --> 00:19:52,101
You're still going to hell,
but give it a shot.
405
00:19:53,770 --> 00:19:54,988
Hey, man, what have you-
406
00:19:54,989 --> 00:19:56,823
You got there, a sprain?
407
00:19:56,824 --> 00:19:59,592
No. It's a shattered elbow and
my ligaments are all torn up.
408
00:19:59,593 --> 00:20:02,161
But, uh, they're gonna give me
a year of physical therapy,
409
00:20:02,162 --> 00:20:04,163
and I'll get back
to about 60 percent mobility.
410
00:20:04,164 --> 00:20:05,332
Sixty?
411
00:20:05,333 --> 00:20:06,333
That's great.
412
00:20:06,334 --> 00:20:09,302
Hey, when you hit 70, sell.
413
00:20:09,303 --> 00:20:11,938
Um...
414
00:20:11,939 --> 00:20:15,842
Look, Tim,
this is all because of me.
415
00:20:17,077 --> 00:20:18,678
What do you mean?
416
00:20:18,679 --> 00:20:21,932
It was me on the radio.
I- I sent you to those places.
417
00:20:21,933 --> 00:20:23,916
That was you?
Yeah, but I swear to you,
418
00:20:23,917 --> 00:20:25,201
I never meant
for you to get hurt.
419
00:20:25,202 --> 00:20:28,522
I was just trying
to get you fired.
420
00:20:28,523 --> 00:20:30,440
What did I do to you?
421
00:20:30,441 --> 00:20:34,611
Well, you were gettin'
laughs at lunch.
422
00:20:34,612 --> 00:20:35,745
So?
423
00:20:35,746 --> 00:20:37,814
So, it's just that...
424
00:20:37,815 --> 00:20:41,001
I'm the funny guy at lunch.
425
00:20:41,002 --> 00:20:42,202
Really?
Yes.
426
00:20:42,203 --> 00:20:44,971
Why is everybody
fighting me on this?
427
00:20:44,972 --> 00:20:47,273
Anyway, it was a really stupid
thing to do,
428
00:20:47,274 --> 00:20:49,376
and I'm so, so sorry.
429
00:20:49,377 --> 00:20:52,412
I would totally understand if
you reported me to Mr. O'Boyle,
430
00:20:52,413 --> 00:20:54,680
and had me stuck
on the night shift,
431
00:20:54,681 --> 00:20:59,886
but I think I know
a cool guy when I see one.
432
00:21:04,141 --> 00:21:06,259
Senor Doug.
433
00:21:22,192 --> 00:21:23,493
Huh.
434
00:21:23,494 --> 00:21:26,196
They finally cut
the ivy off that sign.
435
00:21:37,291 --> 00:21:39,458
Oh, great.
31318
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