Original subtitles

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

FOGHORN: I say, I say, let me see here.

Five shirts, three pairs of pants and one "Go green" headband.

These'll be done by later today.

Groovy. I'll catch you then, mi amigo.

Wait. Before you go,

do you think that these light bulbs are eco-friendly?

Uh, no. Absolutely not.

Hey, you got, I say, you got a stain there on your shirt, son.

- You better wash that. - Ugh. You're right.

How did I miss that?

Oh, wait, and you also got a little stain there on your pants.

Ginkgo Biloba! Where did all these stains come from?

Oh, probably global warming.

No doubt. It's even ruining our clothes.

But now I've got nothing to wear.

Yeah, well, for a small fee of $50

I can lend you a loaner.

Oh, okay.

Ah, put on this here leisure suit.

It's been here since the '70s.

Sweet!

-(DOOR OPENS, CLOSES) -(CHUCKLING) Hipsters.

Boy, I swindled him good.

And now, I'm one rooster with a little extra scratch.

A feather coat?

I don't remember cleaning this.

Do you mind? I'm trying to sleep.

Hey, this ain't a hotel.

Get out of here, you coat impersonator.

(GRUNTS)

Probably flew into too many windows. (CHUCKLES)

DAFFY: (IN ITALIAN ACCENT) You're late.

(GASPS) Late for what?

You're attending a red carpet event.

And I'm designing your outfit.

Who are you?

World famous fashion designer,

Dafio Dressamore.

(GASPS) I've always wanted to wear your clothes.

Then let's get to it.

I'm gonna make something

- that'll leave the fashion world breathless. -(GROANS)

Something that'll knock them off their feet.

(GRUNTS)

Something that'll send them to an early grave.

No, no, no, no, no, I'll get it. I'll get it.

You sure? 'Cause I can assure you.

Yeah. I'm sure.

Well, then give me some room and let me work my magic.

(YELLS)

(GROANS)

(GASPS) Why, this is a ball gown.

And you look so beautiful in it.

But do I look good enough for the red carpet?

Of course, you do.

Because you are the red carpet.

(GRUNTS)

(GROANS)

-(INDISTINCT CHATTER) -(CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING)

I've heard of people walking all over you,

but this is ridiculous.

Now where did that duck go? Huh?

(DAFFY EXCLAIMING IN EERIE VOICE)

(IN NORMAL VOICE) It is I, the ghost of the dirty underpants.

And I have come here

to avenge all the dirty clothes

you haven't cleaned.

(STUTTERS) I don't know what you're talking about

Silence! Now, listen to my story.

I was the number one pair of underpants in the world.

-I did TV. - Oh, it's you, underpants.

(CROWD CHEERING)

Movies.

Now let's make this brief.

And I even hosted my own nightly talk show.

- You have one guess left. - Uh... B?

Ha! Wrong!

You know what that means, audience.

ALL: Tuna casserole shower.

(ALL LAUGHING)

(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

But what does this have to do with me?

Everything!

I came here to this stingy laundromat to get cleaned.

But you, you dropped me behind a triple-load washer

where I wasted away for years covered in dryer lint and old chewing gum.

And now, it is time for me

to get my revenge!

(SHRIEKS)

Ouch! My tuchus.

Wait a minute.

- You're that duck. - And you've got underpants on your head.

- Woo-hoo! -(GRUNTING)

Famous underpants.

- Woo-hoo! -(GROWLS)

(DAFFY LAUGHING, WHOOPING)

(GROANS)

Oh, look, I made a little puppet.

♪ Don't lay down my happy glow

♪ Down by the riverside, yeah!

♪ Down by the riverside, hoo! Down by the riverside

♪ Don't lay down my happy glow Down by the riverside

♪ 'Cause I don't want These dirty clothes no more ♪

Ta-da!

(GRUNTS)

DAFFY: Whoops! Forgot to unlock the door.

No!

(SCREAMS)

All right, enough of this nonsense.

I got laundry to do.

Good gravy! Hold on there, boy.

You can't overload the machine.

Why, you'll turn the whole store into a big old washer.

Hey, that's a great idea.

(SQUEAKING, SCREECHING)

-(FOGHORN GROANING) -(DAFFY EXCLAIMING EXCITEDLY)

There! Good as new.

Hey, I'm back for my clothes.

Right here, pal.

And as a special customer bonus, a coat on us.

I'm sorry, bro. But I can't wear anything made of real animals.

Trust me, buddy. Everything about this coat is 100 percent fake.

Sweet. My friends are gonna freak out when they see me in this.

I say, I say, hipsters.

DIRECTOR: Attention, everyone. In just a few moments,

I will begin auditions for primo ballerino.

If I choose you, it means

that you are the finest male dancer in the company.

Uh, uncle director,

I want to be the primo ballerino.

You can't dance, Leslie. Plus, you literally have two left feet.

We will begin the auditions momentarily.

Best of luck.

(EXCLAIMS) I want to be in the ballet.

Wait! I know.

Uh, look, everyone, there are free donuts in this room.

Who doesn't love free donuts? (GROANS)

(LAUGHS EVILLY) Yes.

Now, my uncle will have to make me the primo ballerino.

I'm the only one left.

♪ I'm so delicate on my feet

♪ I'm so delicate on my feet

♪ I'm so delicate on my feet

♪ I'm a dancing bunny ♪

Heya, short stack. I'm here to audition for the bluegrass band.

That audition is tomorrow, you nincompoop.

- Get off the stage. - DIRECTOR: Wait!

Mr. Rabbit, that little dance you just did,

makes me think I may have found our primo ballerino.

This goofy rabbit? He can never be in the ballet.

I demand a proper audition. Me versus the rabbit.

Fine. Mr. Bunny, is it okay with you?

Sure. I got nothing to do till the banjo auditions anyways.

All right then. I'll be back in a few to get this over with.

Don't you think you can best me, rabbit.

I'm a superior dancer.

I love the boards and the boards love me. (GROANS)

Must be a real love-hate relationship.

When that rabbit stretches on this bar

it will fall and cause his ankle to go twisty-twisty.

(LAUGHS EVILLY)

What's so funny, doc?

You! You're wearing a tutu.

- I find it to be flattering. - Really?

Well, two-two can play at that game.

I meant it looks flattering on me.

Oh! Enough of this!

Why don't you stretch out on this bar?

You don't want to pull a hammy out there.

That's great advice. Thanks, doc.

Let's break a leg out there... (CHUCKLES) Literally.

I don't care what he says,

I think it looks nice. (SCREAMS)

Oops. I guess I'll stretch out some place else.

(SCREAMING, GRUNTS)

(GROANING)

Ow! (GROANS)

No wonder why this thing's acting funny.

It's loose.

I got to move it before someone gets hurt.

(GROANS)

Let's see how this rabbit dances

when his feet are covered in itching powder. (CHUCKLES WICKEDLY)

Oh, Rabbit? Might I suggest trying out a pair of ballet slippers?

Gee, thanks, Leslie.

Oh, I'm always itching to help. (CHUCKLES WICKEDLY)

These slippers are way too small.

Oh, well. I'll just go au natural.

(GRUNTS) I'm itchy! So itchy.

(GROANING) Itchy, itchy...

(GRUNTS)

Nutcracker.

Oh, Mr. Rabbit?

The audition is right this way.

Thanks, Leslie. Let's have some fun out there, huh?

Yes.

Let's keep on trucking, right?

(LAUGHS WICKEDLY)

MAN: (IN ITALIAN ACCENT) So you want to be primo ballerino, yes?

Who are you?

I'm the one who'll turn you into

the greatest ballerino of all time.

-(GRUNTS) - Now let me control your body.

- Demi plie. -(LESLIE STRAINING)

Grand plie.

Then suplex plie.

Now saute.

Grand jete. The oopsy basset.

Now that you have the moves, you must have the bravery.

All great ballet dancers are fearless.

Are you afraid of that bear?

(GROWLS)

- Yes, I'm afraid! - Well, you have to face your fear.

(YELLING)

I want you to get in this cage

and tell that bear you aren't afraid of it,

then smack it repeatedly with this mackerel.

After you hit him, just run out of the cage

and the door will lock behind you.

(LESLIE SIGHS)

(GROWLING)

Nice bear. I'm just gonna slap you with this mackerel and... (GULPS)

- I'm not afraid of you. -(GROWLS)

I did it! I faced my fears.

I am the greatest ballet dancer of all time.

-(LAUGHS) -(GROWLS)

(WHIMPERS)

Oops. I forgot to lock it.

(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)

(GRUNTING)

- DIRECTOR: Stop! -(MUSIC STOPS)

This is the most wonderful ballet I have ever seen.

Congratulations.

I'm casting you both as primo ballerinos.

You'll be doing this exact ballet

every night for the next six months.

What?

(GRUNTING)

(IN NORMAL VOICE) I'm glad Leslie brought his ballet-A game,

because for a minute there I thought I was gonna get the job.

(LESLIE GROANING, SCREAMING)

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)