Original subtitles

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYING)

Thank you, Cleveland.

(SCREAMS) Gabby.

You ever heard of knocking?

Have you ever heard of guitar lessons?

I'll have you know that I was awarded the best guitar player

in my old school talent show.

Was it a school of fish?

We don't have time for your sarcastic comments, Gabby.

We're opening for Steel Underpants

at the Civic Center tonight.

Well, there's not gonna be a concert tonight or any night.

Why wouldn't there by a concert?

Because there's giant asteroid that's about to blow up the Earth.

You mean from outer space?

No, it's an asteroid from New Jersey.

Of course, it's from outer space.

That's crazy, if there was an asteroid streaking towards the Earth,

it would be all over the news.

(LAUGHS) Well, I, for one, am very excited to see Steel Underpants.

In other news,

an asteroid is streaking towards the Earth!

Cut to the live feed.

Hello, Planet Earth, so sorry I'm running late

but traffic on the Milky Way was outrageous.

But good news is it's cleared up,

so I should be smashing you to bits in a few hours. Ta ta.

-(STATIC) -(CLICKS OFF TV)

Uh...

No asteroid's gonna destroy the Earth.

But how are we gonna stop it?

Yeah, it's not like we can just fly up in a rocket ship

and blow it up with a crate of dynamite.

You have a rocket ship and a crate of dynamite?

Yeah, I bought 'em in a garage sale for only a dollar.

Now, come on, guys, let's blow up that asteroid.

(GRUNTING)

All right, let's show that asteroid we mean business.

Blast off.

(EXPLODES)

I should've bought the two dollar rocket.

Okay, maybe we can throw something into the orbit,

knock it off course.

Bigfoot, you think you're strong enough

to throw something into space?

Uh, let me see.

Hey. (SCREAMING)

-(GRUNTS) - Nope.

Well, maybe we can get an object into space

using this giant rubber band.

(STUTTERING) Why am I always the object?

(SCREAMING)

- Amateurs. - Wile E.

Coyote, yes, yes, super genius and all that.

Perhaps I could be of assistance,

I do have experience trying to destroy things

that travel at high speeds.

No thanks, we're capable

of stopping that asteroid ourselves.

- Right, guys? - Right.

-(SCREAMING) -(THUDS)

On second thought, Wile E., I'm all ears,

because the rest of my body is broken.

(TIRES SCREECH)

Gentlemen, to destroy an asteroid,

you're going to have to travel

at high velocity

with both accuracy and precision.

Now, I want you to try and hit that target.

(GRUNTS)

Whoa!

(SCREAMS)

Whoa! (GRUNTS)

ALL: Hooray!

Been there, done that.

Now before you destroy a large rock,

you're going to have to practice

on smaller ones

using these sledge hammers.

(ALL GROANING)

(STUTTERING) Moving too fast.

Don't worry, guys, I got this.

Bigfoot, wait.

-(BIGFOOT GRUNTS) -(ALL SCREAMING)

(EXCLAIMING)

-(WHIMPERS) -(BIGFOOT GRUNTS)

All right, gentlemen.

This is the Neutron 3,000.

It's a very powerful bomb.

If all else fails, attach this device to the asteroid

and push this button.

You mean this button here?

(ALARM BLARING)

(SCREAMS) Run! Run for your lives.

(ALL PANTING)

It's all right.

I think we got far enough away from the blast radius.

Hey, Mr. Coyote,

- you forgot your cake. -(ALARM BLARING)

I'd like you all to get away from me.

- But I... - Go away.

Gentlemen, you've proven yourselves to be totally destructive.

Possibly even more destructive

than the asteroid hurdling towards the Earth.

Your training is complete.

Now get in this space rocket and save the world.

You can count on us. Come on, guys.

We're doomed.

Squeaks, engage forward thrusters.

Right-o.

Bigfoot, secure the supplies.

Securing the pies, they'll be ready in a few minutes.

All right, boys, prep for landing.

I'll bring her in so soft, it'll be like landing on a pillow.

GABBY: What kind of pillows are you sleeping on?

BUGS: Yoo-hoo, Mr. Asteroid.

Your breath is kind of stinky.

Really? How embarrassing.

I can't very well blow up the Earth

with bad breath now, can I?

Not to worry.

We have a comet sized breath mint for you.

It might help.

-(EXPLODES) - Ooh!

Spicy cinnamon. (BURPS)

(ALL SCREAMING)

Great job, all we did was give the asteroid gas.

Hang on, everyone.

(ALL SCREAMING)

It looks like they're headed directly for...

Me!

(WHIMPERING)

(PANTING)

Oh, hmm.

Oh!

ASTEROID: Greetings, planet Earth.

Terribly sorry to interrupt,

but I will be destroying you ina matter of moments

so if anyone wants to mark the occasion with a photograph,

get your cameras out now.

(CHUCKLES) Because I'm only doing this once.

(GASPS) He's gonna flatten us all.

It's game over, man. Game over.

It's not over till the fat lady sings.

FAT LADY: Ahem.

(INHALES SHARPLY)

(VOCALIZING, SCREAMS)

MAN: Hey.

Any of you guys know where's the Civic Center is at?

'Cause we're doing a rock concert tonight.

It's Axl Rose?

I hope so, 'cause I'm wearing his underwear.

I thought he was the lead singer of Guns N' Roses.

I am, but my real passion is Steel Underpants.

Sorry, Axl, but there's not going to be a concert tonight.

Yeah, there is, I wrote it on my hand, see?

No, there's no concert tonight

because an asteroid is about to blow up the Earth.

That's a bummer, man. 'Cause I bought new speakers too.

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

Oh, those speakers look like they can do some damage.

They'll blow your house down, little piggie.

In fact, when those speakers are turned up full volume,

my band can shake mountains to the ground.

Hmm, are you guys thinking what I'm thinking?

That I should go back to wearing a mesh jersey and a kilt on stage again?

No, I was thinking that if your band could play loud enough,

you could destroy that asteroid.

I love that idea.

Only thing is my band's not here.

Their tour bus was destroyed when a giant pig fell out of the sky

and crash-landed on top of it.

-(BIGFOOT WHISTLING) -(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

We can be your band.

I'm Bugs Bunny and these are the Looney Tunes.

We were scheduled to open for you guys tonight.

Well, Bugs, if we want our music to destroy an asteroid,

I need a band that rocks pretty hard.

Think you guys can do that?

(GUITAR PLAYING)

Does that answer your question?

Gentlemen, it's time to rock the rock.

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

♪ Turn it up

♪ Make it loud

♪ We'll get your guitar into the scream

♪ Heavy drums, amplifiers

♪ We're a sonic demolition team

♪ You've got to rock the rock

♪ Loud and all around

♪ Rock the rock

♪ With a stone crunching sound

♪ Ooh, rock the rock

♪ Hammer and crane

♪ Rock the rock

♪ It's rabble making time

♪ Power chords Bass guitar

♪ Get in the ring We'll get in a brawl

♪ We're going to destroy

♪ We're a rock n' roll wrecking ball

♪ We gotta rock the rock Smash it to bits

♪ Rock the rock With a heavy metal fist

♪ Rock the rock Grind it to the bone

♪ Rock the rock To destruction zone

(EXPLODES)

♪ Super sized Pulverized

♪ We're telling no lies

♪ Rock the rock Annihilate you

♪ Devastate you and decimate you

♪ Rock the rock Rock the rock

♪ Rock the rock Rock the rock

♪ Rock the rock Yeah, rock the rock

♪ Rock the rock Rock the rock

♪ Rock the rock, yeah ♪

ALL: Yeah!

This isn't the last you've seen of me,

I'm going to come back even stronger than before

and then you'll be sorry.

You'll be sorry!

Wow, we did it, we blew up the asteroid.

It's like I've always said. Rock n' roll can save the world.

- Literally. - That's all, folks.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)