Original subtitles

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(GIGGLES) I love flying south for the winter.

In just a few hours, I'll be on the beach chatting up a cute little...

Or I'll hit this satellite and plummet to the ground.

(YELLS)

(THUDS)

(GROANS AND EXCLAIMS)

(CHUCKLING) You know, here in Area 51,

we usually have to go looking for the aliens.

But this one dropped right into our backyard.

Take him to the observation pen.

We'll make him tell us all his alien secrets.

(LAUGHING)

(GROANS) Where am I?

(LAUGHS) Welcome to Area 51, freak.

You name your areas? I name my areas, too!

This is my elbow area. This is my eating area. Ah!

And this little area down here is my--

Enough!

Area 51 is a prison for aliens like you.

What? You think I'm an alien?

That's right. Now tell me all your alien secrets.

This ought to be interesting.

All right. I'll give you all my secrets.

But I want something in return.

You'll get nada. Zero. Zilch.

Ooh, I love zilch.

That's like Mediterranean food, right?

You get pita bread in it?

Zilch means nothing!

Pity, really. I was looking forward to telling you all about

the origins of the universe, intergalactic space-travel,

how to impress girls at parties...

Oh, fine. What do you want?

I am so glad you asked.

A king-sized bed, a continental breakfast,

a bucket of ice, a flat-screen TV,

a Jacuzzi filled with your finest macaroni and cheese,

and a life-like animatronic statue of former president,

Rutherford B. Hayes.

And it was that summer I deployed federal troops

to squash the great railroad strike of 1877.

Okay, alien. I got everything you wanted.

Now tell me your secrets!

You got it. Right after I finish my bay leaf tapioca malt.

(SLURPING)

(AMBIENT MUSIC PLAYING)

(SLURPING)

-(SLURPING LOUDLY) -(GRUMBLING)

(SLURPING CONTINUES)

(GROWLING)

That's enough! Tell me your alien secrets now!

I'd be more than happy to.

Now, lean in close so I can whisper them in your ear.

Here's my secret.

- I swiped your keys when you weren't looking. - Huh?

How the...

Get back here, you crazy alien!

Stop! You were just with the alien.

We've got to decontaminate the alien germs off of you.

(WHISTLES)

That's right. Strip him and scrub him, boys.

(GROANING AND SPUTTERING)

Keep scrubbing, boys.

Get all those nooks and crannies.

Psst. It's me, folks.

Daffy Duck.

Enough! Get that alien!

(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

(DAFFY EXCLAIMING)

He went into the transportation tubes.

There's that alien! Grab him!

(TASERS CRACKLING)

(YELLING)

DAFFY: Good job. Now we can throw him in the brain scanner

and learn all his alien secrets.

This won't hurt a bit.

(BEEPING AND WHIRRING)

Can we keep him, Mommy?

(BALLOON POPS)

(CRYING)

No, Freckles. Don't go!

I can change! I can change!

Freckles!

Ugh. These secrets are depressing.

Huh! Probably should've opened the roof first.

So a pimento is the thing inside an olive?

Hey! That's the General!

If that's the General, then who was the other guy?

Why, it was me! Daffy Duck!

Woo and hoo.

Get that alien!

(EXCLAIMING)

Well, lookie here.

UFO, you're my new BFF.

LOL. BRB!

- Hey! - DAFFY: Oh, boys!

-(EXPLOSION) -(YELLING)

See ya laser!

Ooh! Two can play at this game!

Uh-oh. He's catching up with me.

Well. Them's the brakes.

What?

My brakes!

Oh, dearie me! Somebody must've cut his brake lines.

It was me, Daffy Duck!

(YELLING)

Well, if I'm gonna fly south for the winter,

I might as well do it in style.

Toodles!

(SCREAMING)

(GRUNTING)

Oh, goodie goodie.

Usually we have to go looking for the aliens.

But this one dropped right into our backyard.

PORKY: This is just great.

My first vacation in years and I'm spending it

lost in an Egyptian wasteland.

Not all who wander are lost, chum.

Besides, I had to get away from that boring tourist group.

But I wanted to see the pyramids!

We're going off the beaten path to see way cooler stuff.

Like this lamp for instance.

Oh, yeah. An old lamp is way cooler than giant ancient pyramids.

Do I detect a hint of sarcasm in your voice?

Oh, it's not a hint. It's a whole truck load!

I didn't come all the way to Egypt to see a dirty, old lamp.

Hmm, it is a bit dusty.

(SQUEAKS)

I'm here! I'm here!

Roll out the red carpet and fire up the spotlight!

The genie is on stage for one night only!

BOTH: Genie? Lamp?

Lamp genie? Genie lamp!

Looks like you boys rubbed me the right way.

And now, you're both gonna get a chance to make a wish.

Now, get on in here.

DAFFY: Wow. The inside of your lamp is huge.

I'll say. My electric bill is through the roof.

Now what can I do for you? Your wish is my command.

Oh, boy. I wish for a new pair of slippers.

I don't think you understand.

I can give you anything in the world you want.

You gotta think bigger than that.

Now, wish for something beyond your greatest hopes and dreams.

(GASPS)

Then I wish to have my feet submerged in giant buckets of chocolate pudding.

Well. It's not my place to judge.

(SIGHS) Now, that's the stuff.

Oh. Tastes so good.

Okay. Enough small potatoes.

It's my turn.

And I wish for a gold-plated mini monster truck

with all the bells and whistles.

-(ENGINE REVVING) - Come to papa!

I wish for an oak tree.

I wish I had a table full of pizza.

(CHOMPING)

I wish I had a magical unicorn that would serve me

unlimited glasses of root beer.

I wish for giant french fries!

I wish for the most expensive pair of high-end luxury basketball sneakers

ever conceived by the mind of man!

Come to papa, also.

That's it. Top it off, Nicole.

Sorry to interrupt the party, fellas,

but I've got places to go and people to see.

Will there be anything else?

(GULPING) Ah...

I think we're good here, genie.

(CHOMPING)

I'm all wished out.

All right. Well then, here's your bill.

Uh, come again?

Your bill. For all your wishes.

You didn't think I was granting them for my health, did you?

We thought you were doing it because it was your job.

It is my job. And like any other job,

I expect to be paid.

I'm sorry, Mr. Genie. All my money went to paying for this vacation.

They really got me with the baggage fees.

Well, then. I guess you'll have to work it off.

I want you to polish the sofa, wash the dishes,

scrub the floors and don't stop until this lamp is spotless.

Well. I'm not doing that.

You either clean my lamp,

or I'll give you the beating of your life.

All right. Let's get this over with.

Here, Porky. You go first.

(STUTTERS) What? I don't want the beating of my life.

I think we should just clean up.

Fine. We always have to do what you want to do.

I guess we're gonna clean up after all.

I don't believe this.

We went from "having it made" to "being his maid."

Don't worry. I know how to get us out of here.

You distract the genie.

- How am I supposed to-- - Just go!

Well, whaddayaknow. This pig can really jig.

It's called Irish step-dancing.

It's pretty great, huh?

Aha! That oughta hold him.

GENIE: (SARCASTICALLY) Oh, no! I'm trapped inside

this impenetrable cardboard box!

See, Porky? There's no way he can get out.

Unless... I open the lid.

Welp, I'm out of ideas.

Get back here, you two!

You owe me money!

Get up! Run!

Uh-oh. I guess we needed those columns.

(GASPS) My roof!

I'll add that to your bill!

Now, pay up or face the collection agency!

That was my boxing nickname back in college.

-(GRUNTS) - Daffy, run! Head for the spout!

Phew. That was a close one.

Yeah. I hope I never see another genie again.

Ooh, look. A bottle.

I wonder if there's a genie inside.

Daffy, no!

(GASPS) A man!

Are you single and looking to mingle?

'Cause I am! Come to mama!

Well, look at that. The genie granted my wish after all.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)