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1
00:00:01,710 --> 00:00:03,420
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
2
00:00:21,187 --> 00:00:23,648
I've been noticing I've been
getting prettier lately.
3
00:00:23,732 --> 00:00:25,525
And I can't stand it!
4
00:00:28,987 --> 00:00:34,117
There was a time
when mirrors used to shatter
when I looked into them.
5
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:36,578
Now, they only crack.
6
00:00:36,661 --> 00:00:39,456
Time to make
my special ugly potion,
7
00:00:39,539 --> 00:00:42,459
and get back to
my girlishly ugly looks.
8
00:00:42,542 --> 00:00:44,335
All I need is an eye of newt,
9
00:00:44,419 --> 00:00:46,129
the pressed jawbone
of a spider,
10
00:00:46,212 --> 00:00:47,505
and a pig snout.
11
00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:51,634
Oh, drat.
I'm out of pig snout.
12
00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:54,804
Where am I gonna find
a pig snout at this hour?
13
00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:56,723
(DISTANT HUMMING)
14
00:00:58,224 --> 00:01:00,059
And look at that!
15
00:01:01,853 --> 00:01:04,981
Sometimes, even bad witches
have good luck.
16
00:01:05,064 --> 00:01:07,025
(CACKLING)
17
00:01:07,108 --> 00:01:11,821
Wow. Who knew the houses
of Salem in Massachusetts
could be so amazing?
18
00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:13,823
This is such a great vacation.
19
00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:17,202
There is a beautiful tree,
there's a beautiful bird.
20
00:01:17,285 --> 00:01:19,829
And there's a... (STUTTERING)
21
00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:22,791
Good day, Mr. Pig.
22
00:01:22,874 --> 00:01:26,336
I noticed you were enjoying
the sights of Salem.
23
00:01:26,419 --> 00:01:28,296
I'm a long time resident.
24
00:01:28,379 --> 00:01:32,675
Would you like to see inside
of one of these beautiful,
historic homes?
25
00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:35,678
(GASPS, SQUEALS)
Be still, my beating heart!
26
00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:37,847
Oh, you're so cute.
27
00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:40,517
I can just cut your nose off.
28
00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:42,185
Come with me.
29
00:01:42,268 --> 00:01:46,981
I'm getting so excited
I'm getting
the Massachu-sweats.
30
00:01:48,691 --> 00:01:51,444
Here we are.
My humble abode.
31
00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:53,988
This belonged to
my great-grandmother.
32
00:01:54,072 --> 00:01:57,700
She was convicted
in the original
Salem witch trials.
33
00:01:57,784 --> 00:01:59,410
She had a bad lawyer.
34
00:01:59,494 --> 00:02:00,411
Have a seat.
35
00:02:00,495 --> 00:02:02,455
Wow, I gotta get a picture!
36
00:02:02,539 --> 00:02:05,166
High angle, low angle,
extreme close-up.
37
00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:07,502
I said sit down!
38
00:02:07,585 --> 00:02:09,879
While I make you some tea.
39
00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:13,925
A pinch of cinnamon,
a speech from
a political windbag,
40
00:02:14,008 --> 00:02:17,053
and a handful of this old
calculus homework...
41
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:19,848
And he'll be asleep
in no time.
42
00:02:21,474 --> 00:02:23,518
Here's your tea, darling.
43
00:02:25,228 --> 00:02:27,772
(SIPS) Ouch!
This is too hot to handle.
44
00:02:27,856 --> 00:02:29,524
I better cool it off.
45
00:02:29,607 --> 00:02:31,401
(BLOWING)
46
00:02:32,861 --> 00:02:33,987
(YELPS)
47
00:02:34,070 --> 00:02:37,532
Holy smokes!
Is that a harpsichord?
48
00:02:37,615 --> 00:02:41,828
My mother always used to play
the harpsichord
right before bed time.
49
00:02:41,911 --> 00:02:45,874
♪ Sparkle sparkle little pig
If I fall asleep
and dance a jig
50
00:02:45,957 --> 00:02:48,376
♪ Close your eyes
and dream so deep
51
00:02:48,459 --> 00:02:50,295
♪ Counting pigs
instead of sheep
52
00:02:50,378 --> 00:02:51,838
♪ Dream of floating
pillow tops
53
00:02:51,921 --> 00:02:54,424
♪ Rolling around
in piles of slop
54
00:02:54,507 --> 00:02:56,843
♪ Tomorrow morning
all brand-new
55
00:02:56,926 --> 00:02:59,262
♪ So much for a pig to do
56
00:02:59,345 --> 00:03:02,140
♪ Sunshine Sunshine
out of bed
57
00:03:02,223 --> 00:03:05,435
♪ Rise and shine
you sleepy head ♪
58
00:03:06,769 --> 00:03:08,563
Holy smokes!
An old-time wig shop.
59
00:03:08,646 --> 00:03:10,565
I have to check that out!
60
00:03:12,525 --> 00:03:13,443
(EXCLAIMS)
61
00:03:13,526 --> 00:03:15,612
Wow, look at all these wigs!
62
00:03:15,695 --> 00:03:18,281
Can it get any more exciting?
63
00:03:18,364 --> 00:03:19,782
I can be anyone I want.
64
00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:21,284
Let them eat cake.
65
00:03:21,367 --> 00:03:22,911
I'll take two pieces.
66
00:03:27,206 --> 00:03:31,252
These spiders will put
a stop to that pig's
follicle follies.
67
00:03:31,336 --> 00:03:33,755
And then that snout
will be mine.
68
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:38,801
(STUTTERING) Look at me, ma!
69
00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:41,971
I'm the lead guitarist
working out
on a rock 'n roll band.
70
00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:43,932
I'm a real head-banger.
71
00:03:44,015 --> 00:03:46,935
Where did all these little
spiders come from?
72
00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:48,603
They look so hungry.
73
00:03:48,686 --> 00:03:52,148
I better get them back outside
so they can catch some flies.
74
00:03:52,231 --> 00:03:53,566
(LAUGHING)
75
00:03:53,650 --> 00:03:56,361
PORKY: There you go,
baby spiders.
Be free!
76
00:03:57,487 --> 00:03:59,155
(SCREAMING)
77
00:03:59,739 --> 00:04:01,366
How cool.
78
00:04:01,449 --> 00:04:03,952
The gift shop had a Spells
of the Salem Witches book.
79
00:04:04,035 --> 00:04:08,039
Now I can cast magical spells
like the real Salem witches.
80
00:04:08,122 --> 00:04:09,415
Let's try a couple out.
81
00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:10,833
Iccus Frogus!
82
00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:14,087
What about...
Thomas Fickus Ickus!
83
00:04:14,170 --> 00:04:15,296
(DROOLING)
84
00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:17,173
Ooh, what about this one?
85
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:19,676
Pantelium Helium!
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
86
00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:21,010
That's a weird sounding one.
87
00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:22,679
PORKY: Oh, here's
another good one.
88
00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:24,263
Rockus Blockus.
89
00:04:26,766 --> 00:04:28,726
(SNARLING)
90
00:04:28,810 --> 00:04:29,978
Ooh!
(SNARLING)
91
00:04:30,061 --> 00:04:31,688
Bearius Hairius!
92
00:04:31,771 --> 00:04:33,773
Ooh!
(EXCLAIMS)
93
00:04:33,856 --> 00:04:35,608
Crossius Crossus!
94
00:04:36,859 --> 00:04:38,945
(SCREAMING) A mouse!
95
00:04:40,279 --> 00:04:42,073
(SCREAMS) A mouse!
96
00:04:42,156 --> 00:04:44,534
That book doesn't work anyway.
97
00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:46,995
Restorum Cantorum!
98
00:04:48,454 --> 00:04:49,372
(WHISTLES)
99
00:04:49,455 --> 00:04:51,749
Come on, broom!
100
00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:54,961
Time to grab that pig's
snout and be done with this.
101
00:04:55,044 --> 00:04:57,380
(CACKLING)
102
00:04:57,463 --> 00:04:59,090
An old colonial stable.
103
00:04:59,173 --> 00:05:02,552
Come here, Mr. Horse.
Let me put your shoe on
for you.
104
00:05:02,635 --> 00:05:04,262
(WHINNYING)
105
00:05:04,345 --> 00:05:06,723
I have you now, my piggy.
106
00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:08,558
(CACKLING)
107
00:05:08,641 --> 00:05:10,601
And now, to nail in the shoe.
108
00:05:11,352 --> 00:05:12,770
(NEIGHING LOUDLY)
109
00:05:14,272 --> 00:05:15,732
(GROANING)
110
00:05:15,815 --> 00:05:18,401
Say, you look like you got
kicked in the head by a horse.
111
00:05:18,484 --> 00:05:19,694
I do?
112
00:05:19,777 --> 00:05:22,280
Oh, my! You're right!
113
00:05:22,363 --> 00:05:24,824
In fact, I'm uglier than ever!
114
00:05:24,907 --> 00:05:25,908
(CRACKING)
115
00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:27,577
Oh, thank you, pig.
116
00:05:27,660 --> 00:05:30,163
I won't be needing to
cut off your snout.
117
00:05:30,246 --> 00:05:32,999
What? You were gonna
cut off my snout?
118
00:05:33,082 --> 00:05:35,209
You are a terrible person.
119
00:05:35,293 --> 00:05:37,754
Don't hate me because
I'm ugly, dearie.
120
00:05:37,837 --> 00:05:38,963
(LAUGHING)
121
00:05:46,554 --> 00:05:48,014
Come, Marc Anthony.
122
00:05:48,097 --> 00:05:49,849
Now, my vicious guard dog,
123
00:05:49,932 --> 00:05:53,895
you will protect my home
while I slumber until
the night returns.
124
00:05:53,978 --> 00:05:56,939
(BARKING)
125
00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:58,941
Yes, yes. That's it.
126
00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:00,610
Very frightening.
127
00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:02,278
Watch out for vampire hunters,
128
00:06:02,361 --> 00:06:04,822
grave robbers
and garlic salesmen.
129
00:06:04,906 --> 00:06:08,451
They're especially active
around the dinner hour.
130
00:06:08,534 --> 00:06:09,660
(SNARLING)
131
00:06:09,744 --> 00:06:12,663
There, there.
That's a good dog.
132
00:06:12,747 --> 00:06:16,542
Remember.
Nothing gets in this door.
133
00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:19,629
And if it does,
you know the consequences.
134
00:06:19,712 --> 00:06:21,005
(SNARLING)
135
00:06:21,089 --> 00:06:22,507
(WHIMPERS)
136
00:06:22,590 --> 00:06:24,717
(COUNT BLOODCOUNT LAUGHING)
137
00:06:26,886 --> 00:06:29,097
(MARCHING DRUMS PLAYING)
138
00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:35,144
(BARKING)
139
00:06:36,395 --> 00:06:37,855
(WHIMPERING)
140
00:06:40,566 --> 00:06:41,609
(MEOWS)
141
00:06:41,692 --> 00:06:42,735
(GASPS)
142
00:06:43,903 --> 00:06:45,655
-(PURRING)
-(GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING)
143
00:06:46,948 --> 00:06:48,366
(CHUCKLES)
144
00:06:49,450 --> 00:06:50,910
(PURRING)
145
00:07:10,596 --> 00:07:11,597
(GASPS)
146
00:07:16,060 --> 00:07:17,061
(GASPS)
147
00:07:17,895 --> 00:07:19,021
(SNARLING)
148
00:07:20,606 --> 00:07:21,607
(SIGHS)
149
00:07:29,448 --> 00:07:30,575
(EXCLAIMS)
150
00:07:32,201 --> 00:07:33,286
Phew!
151
00:07:35,496 --> 00:07:37,790
(CAT MEOWS)
152
00:07:43,254 --> 00:07:44,380
(HOWLS)
153
00:07:49,051 --> 00:07:50,761
What is going on in here?
154
00:07:50,845 --> 00:07:52,638
What's all this racket?
155
00:07:53,514 --> 00:07:54,724
(EXCLAIMS)
156
00:07:56,642 --> 00:07:58,769
Yes. Good guarding,
Marc Anthony.
157
00:07:58,853 --> 00:08:02,773
But do it more quietly.
I'm trying to sleep.
158
00:08:02,857 --> 00:08:05,568
And someone left
the iron maiden open again.
159
00:08:05,651 --> 00:08:07,486
It's dangerous.
160
00:08:11,449 --> 00:08:13,034
(HOWLING SADLY)
161
00:08:13,117 --> 00:08:14,577
(CRYING)
162
00:08:15,953 --> 00:08:16,954
(MEOWS)
163
00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:21,167
(EXCLAIMS)
164
00:08:29,383 --> 00:08:31,052
(GRUNTING)
165
00:08:41,062 --> 00:08:42,104
(GASPS)
166
00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:49,237
(GASPS)
167
00:08:51,989 --> 00:08:53,866
(ORGAN MUSIC PLAYING)
168
00:08:56,535 --> 00:09:00,081
What is the meaning of this
intrusion upon my slumber?
169
00:09:00,164 --> 00:09:02,500
-(CAT MEOWS)
- What was that?
170
00:09:04,543 --> 00:09:07,004
Marc Anthony!
What are you doing inside?
171
00:09:11,050 --> 00:09:12,760
You can do your chores later.
172
00:09:12,843 --> 00:09:15,513
Right now, you should be
outside guarding the castle.
173
00:09:15,596 --> 00:09:19,433
And if I have to get out
of this coffin one more
time today,
174
00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:20,851
you'll be sorry.
175
00:09:20,935 --> 00:09:22,728
(ORGAN MUSIC PLAYING)
176
00:09:29,235 --> 00:09:30,278
(CAT MEOWS)
177
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:33,656
(GASPS)
178
00:09:37,868 --> 00:09:38,911
(CAT MEOWS)
179
00:09:41,706 --> 00:09:43,582
(COUNT BLOODCOUNT GROWLING)
180
00:09:43,666 --> 00:09:46,335
I warned you, Marc Anthony!
181
00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:50,214
(SNARLING)
182
00:09:50,298 --> 00:09:52,466
Wait. What have you got there?
183
00:09:52,550 --> 00:09:54,260
Let me see it.
184
00:09:54,343 --> 00:09:56,721
- Mmm-mmm, mmm-mmm.
- I said...
185
00:09:56,804 --> 00:09:58,055
Let me see it!
186
00:09:58,139 --> 00:10:00,975
(WHIMPERING)
187
00:10:01,058 --> 00:10:02,685
- A kitten?
-(MEOWS)
188
00:10:02,768 --> 00:10:05,730
In my house?
It will ruin
all of my furniture
189
00:10:05,813 --> 00:10:07,857
with its tiny little claws!
190
00:10:07,940 --> 00:10:11,610
I command you to destroy
that vile creature
this instant.
191
00:10:11,694 --> 00:10:12,695
Mmm-mmm.
192
00:10:12,778 --> 00:10:14,780
What? If you don't destroy it,
193
00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:16,532
then I will!
194
00:10:16,615 --> 00:10:18,367
(SNARLING)
195
00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:19,577
(MEOWS)
196
00:10:21,037 --> 00:10:22,663
(INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING)
197
00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:30,588
(GROWLING)
198
00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:33,257
(GRUNTS)
199
00:10:35,509 --> 00:10:37,261
(GROWLING)
200
00:10:37,345 --> 00:10:40,723
COUNT BLOODCOUNT:
Now, now. Be a good dog
and listen to your master.
201
00:10:40,806 --> 00:10:44,393
-(BARKING)
-(COUNT BLOODCOUNT YELLING)
Bad dog. No stop!
202
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:45,686
(SCREAMS)
203
00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:52,360
(MEOWS)
204
00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:54,570
(YELLING AND SHUDDERING)
205
00:10:54,653 --> 00:10:57,573
Tiny little claws.
Nice kitty.
206
00:10:57,656 --> 00:10:58,908
-(MEOWS)
-(COUNT BLOODCOUNT GROANS)
207
00:10:58,991 --> 00:11:01,077
-(CHUCKLES)
- COUNT: I'm not a toy!
208
00:11:04,663 --> 00:11:06,582
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
13896
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