Original subtitles

In the midst of another glorious adventure,

the sun is shining,

the wind is in our sails,

and my crew is throwing up over the side of the ship.

(RETCHING)

Come on, fellas.

This is no time to be seasick.

You've gotta help me on my quest

to find the Sword of Hrothgar.

Did you say the Sword of Hrothgar? (RETCHING)

Yes.

The legend says that whoever holds the sword

will bring peace and prosperity to the world.

So, where is this supposed sword, anyway?

There. On the Island of Lunacy!

All we gotta do is get through those jagged rocks.

- Jagged rocks? - Jagged rocks?

Oh, don't worry.

I took a class at The Royal Sailing Academy.

(WOOD SPLINTERING)

You didn't graduate, did you?

(ALL SCREAMING)

Well, at least we're on the island now.

Whoo.

I found some dollies to play with.

You know what I do with dollies,

don't you?

GIANT: Time for the tea party!

Now drink up, dolly.

Uh, I'm more of a coffee guy. Ahh!

Well, looks like he's got it covered.

GIANT: Naughty, naughty, other dolly.

You shouldn't run away like that,

- or you'll get a spanking. - Ai!

(GROANING)

Oh, the humanity.

GIANT: Okay. Time for dollies to go to bed.

(LAUGHS)

Good night.

(SNORING)

(STUTTERS) Don't worry, fellas. I'll get you out of there.

(GROANING)

(MUMBLES)

I did it.

Fear not. Porky's here.

Look at the little cow.

Moo, moo, moo, little cow.

I'm gonna make this cow into a hamburger.

No, no. I'm not a cow.

I'm a Viking. See?

You can't fool me, little cow.

(PORKY SCREAMS)

Oh-ho.

GIANT: Mmm.

We did it. Now let's get out of here.

Wait. We can't leave Porky.

Hey, Giant!

You got something stuck on the side of your face.

GIANT: Oh.

(PORKY SCREAMS)

Come on. Let's move.

- GIANT: My dolly. -(GROANS)

No!

ALL: Ahh!

What the...

AL: Yo, hey, there.

How's it goin' by you?

Uh, it's goin'.

Who are you guys?

I'm Al and he's Weird.

We're from Wisconsin.

We're Milwauk Trees.

I am King Bugs,

and I'm trying to find the Sword of Hrothgar.

Oh, we know where the Sword of Hrothgar is.

We're not just gonna tell you how to find it.

You gotta earn that information

by beating us in a daring challenge.

Whatever.

Just let us down from here.

(THUDDING)

Okay. So what is this daring challenge?

Why, the Polka challenge, of course.

Whoever plays the meanest toe tap in this polka number wins.

All right.

We'll accept your challenge.

We'll out-polka you any day of the week.

Uh, point of order.

What happens if we lose?

Uh, we eat you.

Yeah, I thought the pile of bones was pretty obvious.

Duly noted.

(MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS PLAYING POLKA)

♪ I knew a girl

♪ And she was kind of pretty

♪ She'd come from a town

♪ They call Polka City

♪ We polka to the left

♪ We polka to the right

♪ Then she cooked me Bratwurst

♪ And I took a polka bite

♪ Oh, Polka City

♪ You're the only town for me

♪ I come down from Sheboygan

♪ With a tuba on my knee

♪ So butter up my burger

♪ And I'll play you a song

♪ Ya, I betcha you'll be dancing

♪ To the polka all night long ♪

DAFFY: My turn

♪ I pulled right into town

♪ And I formed a polka band

♪ I played my tuba

♪ Till they put some money in my hand

♪ Now my little band and I are rolling in the cash

♪ 'Cause every night we're playing at another polka bash

AUDIENCE: Yay!

♪ Oh, Polka City

♪ You're the only town for me

♪ I came down from Sheboygan

♪ With a tuba on my knee

♪ So butter up my burger

♪ And I'll play you a song

♪ You betcha you'll be dancing to that polka

♪ All night long

♪ Yay! ♪

(ACCORDION PLAYING)

Ah, shootskies.

We can't top that.

You win.

Yes! We did it!

Now, where's the sword?

You have to cross the Bridge of Annihilation.

Oh, boy.

Why can't we just go through the Glen of Tranquility

or the Meadow of Nothing Bad's Gonna Happen To Ya.

Yes.

Yes.

Lead us to the Sword of Hrothgar,

you fools.

(LAUGHING EVILLY)

(LAUGHING IN A SILLY WAY)

- What was that? - What was what?

That laughing thing you were doing.

That was my evil laugh.

(LAUGHING EVILLY)

Ugh. Note to self.

Get henchman evil laughing lessons.

Now as I was saying,

once King Bugs finds the sword,

we swoop in and steal it.

Then, instead of using it for peace and prosperity,

we use it to create chaos and confusion.

(LAUGHING EVILLY)

(LAUGHING IN A SILLY WAY)

Don't.

(PETE LAUGHING IN A SILLY WAY)

No, you need more breath support.

Use your diaphragm.

(LAUGHING EVILLY)

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

They're now approaching the Bridge of Annihilation.

As soon as Bugs gets his hands on the Sword of Hrothgar,

we'll steal it for ourselves.

(LAUGHING EVILLY)

Okay, fellas, stay close.

We're almost there.

Halt! Who goes there?

King Bugs, that's who.

Well, King Bugs That's Who,

what do you want?

I seek the Sword of Hrothgar.

What's all this racket?

This rabbit.

A rabbit? Really?

Why haven't you hit him over the head

so we can put him in a pot and eat him?

I was about to hit him with this club,

until you came out and interrupted me.

Will you two knock it off?

We need to cross this bridge.

You can't cross this bridge

until you correctly answer three questions.

Hey, I'm the Bridge Troll, not you.

Don't remind me.

Okay. You two just ask us the questions.

Fine. Are you ready?

Yes.

-(BELL DINGS) - Question Number 1 answered.

No, that wasn't the question.

I was just making sure you were paying attention.

You already screwed it up.

Give me a break.

You see what I have to put up with here?

Yes, I see what you have to put up with here.

-(BELL DINGS) - Question Number 2 answered.

That was rhetorical.

Did you really think that was a question?

Yes, I did.

(HORN HONKS)

Question Number 3 asked and answered.

(GRUMBLES WITH FRUSTRATION)

This is all your fault!

Don't blame me for your shortcomings.

Of course I have shortcomings.

I'm a troll!

Ugh! I should have married the giant.

Guys, I see it.

The Sword of Hrothgar.

(SCREAMS)

(LAUGHING MALICIOUSLY)

It is I,

Elmer, the unscrupulous.

The Sword of Hrothgar is mine.

(LAUGHING EVILLY)

Yikes!

Yes, I got the Sword of Hrothgar.

And now I will bring peace and prosperity to the world.

Whoa!

(GROWLING)

Hello. I'm Peace,

and this is my partner Prosperity.

Now that you've freed us,

we'll be unleashing chaos and destruction

upon the world.

Okay, now we're doomed.

(SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING)

I don't understand.

The legend didn't say anything about a dragon.

It says right here,

whoever finds the Sword of Hrothgar

will bring Peace and Prosperity to the world.

(PORKY READING)

Nobody reads the fine print.

Why, boss,

your plan to spread chaos is working like a charm.

This is too much chaos.

If we don't stop this dragon,

he'll destroy us all.

First, let him destroy the pig.

What?

That'll give us time to escape.

Maybe we should let him destroy the duck.

- Uh-uh. Pig. - Duck.

- Pig. - Duck.

- Pig. - Duck.

- Pig. - Duck.

(GROWLING)

No one's getting destroyed, okay?

I've got an idea.

BUGS: Hey, Dum-dum.

(GROWLING)

(GROWLING)

On my mark.

(SCREAMS) Run!

You never let me get a word in edgewise.

(SCREAMING)

BOTH: This is all your fault!

At least we agree on something.

Hey, Weird, Al,

play some of that polka music.

You got it, Bugs.

♪ Polka, polka, polka

♪ Polka every day

-♪ Polka, polka, polka across the USA. -(GROWLING)

♪ A polka in Canosia

What is this music?

My ears stay stop.

PEACE: But my feet say, go, go, go.

That'll hold them off for a while.

Come on, follow me.

♪ Polka, polka, polka

♪ Across the USA ♪

Hey, Giant.

Ooh, ho, ho,

my dollies are back.

Look, Giant. I could be your dolly,

but wouldn't you rather have a puppy?

(LAUGHS) Puppy.

Come here, puppy.

Let us go!

We're a dragon, not a puppy.

Oh, ho-ho, no.

Your name is Mr. Furry Bug,

and you'll be my puppy forever

and ever and ever.

Hey, Giant. How about a game of fetch with your new puppy?

Let's play, puppy.

See that stake. Go, fetch!

(SCREAMING)

Good. We'll never see Peace and Prosperity again.

(STUTTERS) Thank heavens.

(CRYING)

I loved my puppy.

Ah, don't worry, Giant.

I think I have something just as good.

GIANT: Here you go, little dollies.

Sip, sip.

Can I get some sugar in my tea?

One lump or two?

Ooh, better make it three.

One, two, three.

Thanks, Mommy.

Well, my plan might not have gone perfectly,

but somehow it still worked

(SNAPS FINGER) to a T.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)