Original subtitles

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

It is I, King Louis XIII,

and I am ready to party.

Uh-oh, uh-oh, Tyron, bring me the finest food

and music...

-(LAUGHING) -(PLAYING TUBA)

Ooh, I love being the king.

Ah! (CHOMPING)

Sorry to disturb your cake eating, Your Majesty.

But there's a peasant who wishes to speak with you.

Peasants are not allowed in the royal palace.

Why not?

Because they are covered in dirt!

And they are missing teeth.

And they smell like stinky, stinky onions.

Like, ew!

Hey, are you the king around here?

Who wants to know?

The name's Bugs Bunny, rabbit, peasant, local carrot farmer.

Your men have been eating my carrots.

In fact, I'm down to my last basket.

Intriguing.

(BURPS)

Not bad, now get lost, loser peasant.

(GROANING)

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

Which is French for, "Of course, you know this means war."

That is it, scratch, scratch, scratch.

There, all done.

Bup-bup-bup, aren't you forgetting something?

Oh, this little piggy went to market,

this little piggy stayed home.

And this little piggy went...

-(LAUGHS MANICALLY) -(GRUNTING)

All the way home. (CACKLES)

Pardon moi.

Hello, no one interrupts me

when I'm playing with my piggies.

Oh, a thousand apologies, Sire.

But I'm here to paint your portrait.

Oh, goodie, I already got one

with my foot on the chair.

One with my foot on the table.

And my favorite, one with my foot on my footman.

(LAUGHS)

Ah-ha! Inspiration has struck.

I wanna paint you holding this stuffed lion.

Now, pose heroically, Your Majesty.

Ah, yes, look at me.

I have conquered this ferocious lion.

-(GROWLING) - Oh, no.

(YELPING) Nice kitty.

(SCREAMING)

You put a real lion on me.

But look at what a great picture I made.

What? The lion is beating my brains in.

Or your brains beating that lion in.

(EXCLAIMS) Ah, forget it.

I am going outside,

where no animals can hurt me.

Now... (GROANS)

Why don't you watch where you're...

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

I am Countess Christie Loraine

and I am here to see the king.

Well, you're looking right at him, baby.

And he is looking at you.

It's not polite to stare.

Now what can a girl do for fun around here?

Come with me to the ball room and I will show you.

With your permission, I would like to dance with you.

Permission granted.

Maestro, if you please, track 21.

(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)

(GRUNTING)

(GRUNTING)

What a lovely ballad.

Yes, this song has a really strict beat.

Now, perhaps you'd like to give me a little smoochie-smoochie?

(CHUCKLES)

You have to catch me first.

(GIGGLING)

Where did you go, my little croissant of love?

I'm over here.

(GIGGLING)

Yoo-hoo!

(GIGGLES)

(PANTING) How does she run so quickly in such a big dress?

Oh, Jacques, I'm on the other side of this hedge.

How about a big, wet kiss?

(LAUGHS)

-(KISSING) -(BEES BUZZING)

(SCREAMING)

That was not your face.

And I'm not a woman, I'm a rabbit.

(KISSES)

(GROWLS)

I challenge you to a sword fight.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, doc, take it easy.

- You're getting all riled up. -(GRUNTS)

- Yikes! -(GRUNTING)

And, some more.

Your topiary skills are really cutting hedge.

(GRUNTS) Where did he go?

Sire, the commoners are trying to seize the palace.

They are sneezing on the palace?

Oh, they're going to get boogies and snot all over it.

No, they're not sneezing on the palace.

They're seizing the palace.

You've got to hide.

Quick, into this gardening shed.

LOUIS XIII: Are you sure I'm safe in here?

Don't worry, in a few seconds, you'll be miles away.

LOUIS XIII: What a relief.

(SCREAMING)

(GRUNTING)

Why is the door locked?

Open up!

Oh, sorry, but peasants aren't allowed in the palace.

But, I am not a peasant.

I am the king.

You can't fool me.

You're covered in dirt, you're missing teeth, and you smell like

stinky, stinky onions.

(SNIFFING) Ugh, it is true.

I do smell like onions.

(SOBBING)

And that little piggy went, wah, wah, wah, wah!

All the way home.

DAFFY: Here it is.

Uh-huh.

Here it is, the site of the next brilliant home.

Designed by me, world famous architect, Daffy Duck.

I have got it all planned out.

It's gonna be a smorgasbord of architectural sensations.

I see marble arches here.

Sweeping columns here and here!

And flying buttresses.

Lots of flying buttresses.

A buttress here, a buttress here, a... (GROANS)

Ugh, my buttress.

Well, how about that luck?

I haven't eaten lunch yet, and I love roadkill.

Oh, me too.

Them tire tracks add lots of smoky flavor.

We better eat this critter before he spoils.

(CHOMPS)

Knock it off!

You can't eat me, I'm world-famous architect, Daffy Duck.

(GASPS) Daffy Duck?

Hey, you're the one who hired us.

Oh, man, we almost ate our boss.

Talk about making a bad first impression.

You already made an impression

with your teeth.

Okay, now here's the blueprints.

-(BOTH GROANING) - Why don't you start...

What are you doing?

Just gotta test these here new mallets.

-(THUDS) -(GROANS)

I'm beginning to see why these two came so cheap.

Look, you two, you need to get started.

Now, I need you to pour the foundation.

Right, bring in the cement truck, Lloyd.

On it, Frank.

First... (YELPS)

Oh, now look here, Frank.

We need this here cement to be nice and smooth.

But we have a lumpy spot.

Let me try to bang it down with this two-by-four.

You got baby arms.

Let me take a turn.

(MUFFLED GROANING)

DAFFY: Stop...

...hitting... me!

Oh no, we done woken up the phantom of the cement.

Hit it harder.

(GRUNTING)

(GROANS) I'm not a phantom!

(EXCLAIMS) I'm your boss.

Well, look at this,

this foundation looks pretty good.

Nice job, ding-dongs.

Nice job, Lloyd.

I couldn't have done it without you, Frank.

Let's make cement angels.

Yay!

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Uh-oh, I can't get up.

I can't either.

Mr. Duck, will you be so kind as to send some dynamite

and blow us out of the cement here?

BOTH: We're cement angels.

BOTH: We're real angels.

(CACKLES)

That should do the trick.

If you need me, I'll be over there.

Far from the blast radius.

Ha! Look at that.

I can get out, I just have to sit up.

Well, me too.

We just forgot how to operate our bodies.

Guess, we won't need to use this dynamite.

(GASPS)

Just start framing up the house.

Well, boys, I gotta say I didn't think you had it in you.

Most of the time, you two remind me

of a couple of beached dolphins

stuck in a fireproof... Wait, why is it blue?

That's the color it is on these here blue directions.

You numbskulls, just because they're blueprints

doesn't mean the house is literally blue.

Well, we already painted everything blue.

Yeah, including this poodle.

Fifi, what have they done to you?

What have they done to you?

I'm almost afraid to ask,

but how are you two at bricklaying?

We love it, but we don't call it bricklaying.

Mmm, we call it slap and top.

FRANK: ♪ Slap on the mortar

LLOYD: ♪ Top it with a brick

♪ Slap on the mortar ♪ Top it with a brick

♪ Slap on the mortar ♪ Top it with a brick

BOTH: ♪ Slap on the mortar Top it with a brick

BOTH: ♪ We call bricklaying Slap and top

Enough! No singing!

-♪ Slap on the mortar No!

-♪ Top it with a... ♪ - Zip it.

No more singing and that's final, hayseeds.

Now let's see once the brickwork is done,

we can start on the arched windows.

It'll be baroque with some early Tudor style thrown in.

Hey, where'd that duck go?

Hmm, I don't know.

DAFFY: (MUFFLED) Let me out! You gotta...

Hey, Frank, I think that duck is stuck in this here wall.

Good gravy, we done better blast him out.

(DAFFY DUCK SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)

- One, three. - Orange.

(EXPLOSION)

BOTH: Yay, you're free.

And we done finished your house.

Huh? It looks atrocious.

I can't put my name on this, it's hideous.

I reject it, I disown it,

I'm taking my name off the entire project.

Excuse me, sirs, I'm Johnny Grambles, multi-millionaire

and I want to know who's responsible for this house.

Ha! These two yokels did it.

He's Frank and I'm Lloyd.

We're the Wright brothers.

Well, Frank and Lloyd Wright, you two are the greatest architects

I've ever seen,

I want to offer you five million dollars

for your house.

(LAUGHS)

With all this money, we can build our own fancy house.

Lookie here, Lloyd, we're living in a five million dollar house.

Oh, yeah, we are.

Home may be where the heart is,

but their brains live somewhere else.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)