Original subtitles

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(BIRDS SQUAWKING)

Oh, boy, I sure do love inventing.

Good thing I'm the world's greatest inventor, Thomas Fuddison.

(CHUCKLES)

Ooh, that science fair had some rough competition.

(PICTURE SQUEAKS)

Once my new lab assistant arrives,

we can get to work on finishing my latest invention,

- the incandescent light bulb, patent pending. -(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

Oh, that must be him now.

-(GROANS) - Huh?

This isn't the public restroom.

(MUFFLED) I'm under the door!

(GRUNTS)

(GROANS) Are you my new lab assistant?

Uh, what exactly does a lab assistant do?

They help me use all my cool machinery and test out my amazing inventions.

Well, then, yes, I am definitely your new lab assistant.

Now, let's get our inventing on.

Okay, then follow me.

As you can see, my lab is impressive and my inventions are amazing.

Ooh!

ELMER: And once I finish the incandescent light bulb,

- I'll even be more famous. - Huh?

-(ELECTRICITY BUZZING) -(EXCLAIMS)

Ooh!

(GIBBERS)

Cool.

Let me show you how great I am.

Oopsie.

Oh, what was that?

I think it was a bolt.

A lightning bolt inside?

No, it was a metal bolt I shot at you.

Hey, what's that behemoth?

Oh, that's the Fuddigraph machine.

It records sound and voices and plays it back.

Oh, like a parrot.

No, not like a parrot.

Here, I'll show you.

(CLEARS THROAT)

The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.

(DRUMS PLAYING)

(BABBLING)

Rock and roll! (SCREAMING)

Hey, what are you doing?

Inventing the drum solo.

It'll give concert-goers a chance

to take a bathroom break for years to come.

Ooh.

Whoo-hoo!

Hey, it's one of those newfangled fruit smashers.

Stop! Don't do that. That's my lunch!

And this is my Fuddger machine.

It takes moving pictures and records your physical movements.

- Here, I'll show you. - Nah, I'm good.

Come on, I'll show you.

Stand behind the camera and record me.

Oi!

-(FILM REEL WHIRRING) -(VAUDEVILLE MUSIC PLAYING)

(SIGHS) Boring!

I know how to spice this puppy up. (GRUNTS)

(SCREAMS) My lunch!

Oh, ah, ow!

- Ow! -(RATS SQUEAKING)

My labs rats are biting me.

Why labs rats, why?

I've done nothing but conduct scientific experiments on you.

-(CRASHING) -(SCREAMS)

(GROANING)

(THUDDING)

Cut and print.

Thomas, baby, you were great.

You'll be walking the red carpet come award season, that's for sure.

Will you knock it off?

We have to work on my latest invention, the incandescent light bulb.

- So come on. - Hmm.

(DAFFY SQUEAKING)

Looks like you already invented it.

I did, but I don't know how to generate enough power to keep it lit.

- I need to invent a power source. - Hmm.

I know what powers my source.

Black beans!

Don't mind if I do.

You nincompoop! That's one of my inventions.

Let me guess, it's called black Fudderbeans?

No, it's synthetic rubber.

Synthetic rubber?

Cool!

- Hey, give me that ball. - You mean this ball?

Yes, that ball.

Here you go.

- Eh... -(GROANS)

(GRUNTING)

(BABBLING)

(GROANS)

I invent the crossover juggle, the behind the back pass,

and the slam dunk.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you basketball.

(GROANING)

Oh, no! The magnetic iron ore separator, it's starting!

-(STRAINING) - Yeesh!

(WHISPERS) This isn't going to be pretty.

(ELMER SCREAMS)

ELMER: Leave my light bulbs alone, you screwy duck!

(YELLING ANGRILY)

-(GRUNTS) -(LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY)

(DAFFY LAUGHING)

(GRUNTING ANGRILY)

(ELECTRICITY BUZZING)

Hey, my light bulb, it's glowing!

Is that what we're supposed to be doing?

Yes, I'm the power source.

But how are we going to present this?

Leave it to me, old chum.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you

the latest invention from the Fuddison-Duck laboratory,

the incandescent light bulb.

AUDIENCE: Ooh! Aah!

(PANTING)

They love it. We're a hit!

That's great.

You know, they say genius

is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration.

Speaking of perspiration, you-reek-a!

Make sure you don't get sunburned, Porky.

(STAMMERING) Don't worry, I put on sunscreen.

Good, because last time you didn't

and the neighbor stuck an apple in your mouth and tried to have a luau.

And I don't want to get caught in the middle of... (HICCUPS)

Oh, no. (HICCUPS)

I got the (HICCUPS) hiccups.

Oh, boy. Hiccups are the worst.

Yeah, I know. (HICCUPS)

You can't finish a... (HICCUPS)

You can't finish a... (HICCUPS)

You can't finish a... (HICCUPS)

(ANGRILY) ...sentence

Welcome to my world.

-(HICCUPS) - But don't worry, I'll help you get rid of them.

Hey, (HICCUPS) what's the big idea?

You're going to hold your breath, Bugs.

That's the easiest way to get rid of hiccups.

Now take a deep breath and hold it.

(INHALES DEEPLY)

Now hold it.

Hold it. Hold it.

Hold it.

Hold it. Hold it.

Hold it. Hold it.

(GASPS AND COUGHS)

(SIGHS)

(HICCUPS)

Don't worry, Bugs, let's try this glass of water.

No, all these remedies are (HICCUPS)

baloney, we need to try something new. (HICCUPS)

I got it, we'll have Witch Hazel fix you up a little remedy.

- That'll solve this. -(HICCUPS)

WITCH HAZEL: It's a good thing you came to me, boys.

I have some perfect remedies I've been brewing up

- just for this occasion. -(HICCUPS)

Eye of newt and wing of crow,

make this bunny's hiccups go!

(EXPLOSION)

Here comes the airplane.

-(WITCH HAZEL IMITATING AIRPLANE NOISES) - No, no... (SCREAMS)

(GULPS)

(HICCUPS)

Huh? (HICCUPS)

(HICCUPING)

(DEEP VOICE) Make it stop!

Slip, slop, fudge pop!

(ELECTRICITY BUZZING)

(HICCUPS)

Well, I guess we can go with plan B,

which is to scare them hiccups out of him.

Boo! Boo.

I'm gonna get ya!

(HICCUPS) No offense, but you're not that scary.

(HICCUPS) I mean, you look like a fried green tomato covered in speed bumps.

-(HICCUPS) - Actually, she kind of looks like a frog that was run over

by a truck made of Italian beef.

Why, you little flirt,

- flattery will get you everywhere. -(HICCUPS)

Okay, here's the address to my friend Count Bloodcount.

He'll scare the pants off ya!

Or maybe scare the pants on ya.

(CACKLING)

BUGS: Go ahead and knock, Porky.

(DOOR CREAKING)

Well, (HICCUPS) this is the place.

(STAMMERING NERVOUSLY) It sure is.

-(HICCUPS) - Let's get down there

- and get those hiccups scared out of ya. -(HICCUPS)

Eh, Count Bloodcount?

Count Bloodcount?

Count (HICCUPS) Bloodcount, come scare me.

Well, what do we have here?

Looks like tonight I'm dining in.

(LAUGHS EVILLY)

Count Bloodcount! (HICCUPS) Count Bloodcount!

(HICCUPS) Where is this guy?

(HICCUPS) I need to get frightened

so I can (HICCUPS) get rid of these annoying things.

You know, sometimes working out can get rid of the hiccups.

What do you say we try this workout video from the 1980s?

(HICCUPS)

WORKOUT INSTRUCTOR ON TV: Are you ready?

(UPBEAT RETRO MUSIC PLAYING ON TV)

Now run in place and reach up high.

Way to go! Keep it up, ladies!

Now drop down and donkey kick.

-(GROANING) -Donkey kick, donkey kick.

Work, ladies!

Now tuck and jump. Tuck and jump. Tuck and jump.

Punch and thrust. Punch and thrust. Punch and thrust.

Put them all together!

Donkey kick, tuck and jump, then punch and thrust.

Donkey tuck. Jump and thrust. Kick, then punch. Kick, then punch.

-Kick and punch. -(GROANS)

-(MUSIC STOPS) - Are you feeling the burn?

I am feeling the burn.

(GROANING)

Let's cool down with a nice stretch.

- Still got 'em? - I don't think... (HICCUPS)

Yeah, I do.

Well, maybe we'll still get this Count to scare you.

BUGS: What the... (HICCUPS)

Look at this guy! (HICCUPS)

He's lying down on the job.

(HICCUPS) Sheesh.

The only thing Count Bloodcount's counting are sheep.

Let's get out of here.

(BONES CRACKING)

I feel bad I couldn't help you get rid of the hiccups.

Ah, that's okay, buddy.

(HICCUPS) You tried your best. (HICCUPS)

You know what? I'm not going to quit on you, Bugs.

I'm gonna go home, pack a suitcase

and come right back over here.

You and I are going to live together until we cure these hiccups.

We're going to be roommates,

no matter how long it takes.

Roommates? (TEETH CHATTERING)

(SCREAMING)

Not a good idea. You can't live with me.

You have your own place and I have mine.

- They're separate places. - Bugs...

- I mean roommates, that's a big step. - Bugs...

- I just don't think I'm ready for something like... -(STAMMERING) Bugs!

- What? - You're not hiccuping.

Hey, you're right.

I figured the idea of me being your roommate

might scare you enough to cure your hiccups.

Yeah, it was terrifying.

Well, you did it. Thanks a lot.

- See you later. - Bye, Bugs.

BOTH: I'm glad that worked out.

He's a great guy,

but living with him would have been the worst.

(BOTH LAUGH AND HICCUP)

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)