Original subtitles

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

ANNOUNCER: Folks, we got ourselves a real grudge match here tonight.

So far, Angelo the flea seems to have the upper hand,

but you can't count out the Crusher.

The Crusher goes for a headlock.

But Angelo is too fast and tiny.

He's got him in a full nelson.

Angelo Irish whips the Crusher into the ropes.

He connects and delivers a powerslam!

Now Angelo is performing his signature move,

The Fleabag Motel.

One, two, flea!

-(BELL DINGS) -(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

ANNOUNCER: It's all over, folks.

Your winner is the mighty mite himself,

Angelo the flea!

(CROWD BOOING)

FIGHT COMMISSIONER: Look, Angelo, you're clearly the best wrestler around.

But let's be honest,

I'm not giving you the match against the champ.

Easy! Easy!

Look, I'd like to, but you got to face facts.

You're way too small.

The audience can't even see you.

If you put on a few extra feet,

I would give you the title shot.

You figure that out, then come talk to me.

(SNORING)

(ANGELO GRUNTS)

Huh?

Huh!

(LOUD CRASH)

(GRUNTING)

(GRUNTS)

(WHIRRING)

(GASPS)

(WHIMPERS)

(GASPS)

ANNOUNCER: And now for the main event,

World Wrestling Champion Calzone

has issued an open challenge to anyone in the arena.

I am the champ and this is my zone.

My Calzone.

(CROWD CHEERING)

Who feels worthy enough to challenge the champ?

Come on, Calamaniacs.

ANNOUNCER: We have a challenger, ladies and gentlemen.

What is this?

(CROWD CONTINUES CHEERING)

You? You think you're worthy enough to take on me,

the greatest champion of all time?

Uh-uh.

(GRUNTS)

Whoa, now you have done it.

It is on!

-(GRUNTS) -(LAUGHING NERVOUSLY)

Ooh!

Why you... (GROANS)

Huh?

(GRUNTING)

(GRUMBLES)

Enough with the punching.

ANNOUNCER: The champ chases the challenger.

(GROANS) Ooh!

ANNOUNCER: Oh, boy. Cal looks really mad.

(CAL SCREAMS)

ANNOUNCER: Ooh!

It appears the champ is getting a lot more than he bargained for.

(CROWD CHEERING)

ANNOUNCER: These fans have gone dog wild!

Sweet sassy molassy! What a dropkick.

It looks like the challenger has tried to crawl out of the ring.

Boy, what a coward.

I am the greatest.

No one beats Cal in his zone.

ANNOUNCER: Wait, what's this?

(LAUGHING)

ANNOUNCER: Why, the challenger was rope-a-doping us the entire time.

(GROWLS)

The challenger seems to have all the momentum.

Incredible, folks!

I have never witnessed a comeback a quick and effortless as this one.

Looks like Cal is down for the count.

(GROWLS)

I think he's gonna take us to the danger zone.

The danger Calzone.

Do you want to go to the zone?

Do you want to go to the zone?

I cannot hear you.

CROWD: Zone! Zone! Zone! Zone!

(BARKING)

ANNOUNCER: Oh, my! That dog's days are over.

Now, get out of my zone!

(CHUCKLING)

ANNOUNCER: One, two, three.

-(BELL DINGS) -It's all over.

We have a new champion!

This...

This random dog!

- MAN: Yay, random dog! -(LAUGHING)

-(CROWD CHEERING) -(CAMERAS FLASHING)

Well, champ, you may have won the belt,

but in the end, you got fleeced.

Ah, summertime! Nothing but swimming, barbeque...

(ENGINE ROARING)

World War One fighter plane?

I'm Baron Yosemite Von Sam.

And I'mma takin' this here land.

You can't take this here land. This is my home.

Not anymore, it ain't.

And if you don't leave it right now,

I'll blow you to smithereens.

You know, I've never been to smithereens.

Is that near Tahiti?

No! It's near the intersection of crush and destroy.

Nah, I don't like that neighborhood.

I think I'll stay where I'm at.

Then say your prayers, rabbit.

Actually I prefer to sing my prayers.

♪ I'm gonna lay down

♪ Lay down my heavy load Yeah!

♪ Down by the riverside Yeah!

♪ Down by the riverside Yeah!

(LAUGHING)

♪ I'm gonna send this

♪ Bomb back into the sky Yeah!

♪ Bomb back into the sky Yeah!

♪ Bomb back into the sky Yeah!

Ha ha! Baron Yosemite Von Sam has done it...

(GROANING) again.

♪ 'Cause I don't want This dirty war no more

♪ Ta-da! ♪

Now, where'd that rabbit get to?

Oh, flight attendant, could I get a refill on my coffee?

But I'm flying the plane.

I bought a first class ticket.

Oh, all right.

Rassum-frassum.

Thanks. Now can I get a pillow?

And a blanket? And some peanuts?

And a hot towel? And a slumber mask?

What's a slumber mask?

They look like this. Here, try it.

Hey, this is nice.

Why, I could fall asleep.

(SNORING)

Time for me to hit the silk.

That's pilot lingo for parachute.

Geronimo!

(HORNS HONKING)

Oh, not now, Ma. I'm still sleeping.

Oh, all right. I'll get up.

(CLUCKS) Geronimo!

Whoa!

(RUMBLING)

Phew. I'm out of the woods.

(GROWLING)

Oh. Slumber mask?

(SAM SCREAMING)

Geronimo.

Air travel can be a real bear.

(GRUNTS) Come back here, rabbit.

(GROANS)

Hey, watch where you're going, Mister.

(GASPS)

It's the kaiser!

(IN GERMAN ACCENT) Yes, it is I.

The kaiser, the head honcho,

the big cheese, the top sauerkraut.

I am here for a surprise inspection.

But, I ain't ready for no surprise inspection.

Not ready? Dummkopf!

You should always be ready for an inspection.

Now, where is your airplane?

Oh, it's right over here, your kaiser-ness.

You call this an airplane?

When I'm lonely sometimes I call it Becky.

Silence!

This plane is piece of junk. You need a new one.

Fortunately, I have just the plane for you.

We call this plane the Wienerschnitzel.

Because it is made entirely of Wienerschnitzel.

Seems kind of dangerous.

Not at all.

In fact, I say to all my men when they're off to war,

safety first.

I thought you always said,

"If you don't win the war, don't bother coming home."

That's the other thing I say.

Now get in your plane!

Holy schnitzel, I did it! I'mma flying.

(BIRDS SQUAWKING)

I'm going vegan.

(GROANS)

You have experienced the thrill of victory,

and the agony of defeat. No matter.

You have proven yourself a worthy pilot.

For your bravery I must award you some medals.

Yeah!

The mallet of honor.

The prestigious air conditioner of bravery.

And let's not forget the highest honor,

the jet pack of valor!

You know, a simple thank you would be fine.

Whoa!

Looks like Sam's got thrust issues.

(SCREAMS)

That's it, rabbit.

Time for you to face my monster plane.

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

Oh, yeah? Well, I'm not scared of you.

Because I got an even better plane.

The Sopwith Camel.

(CAMEL GRUNTS)

Oops! I think I ordered the wrong camel.

Oh, well, this will have to do.

Rocket camel, go!

(ROCKET WHISTLES)

Where did that varmint go? I can't see him.

I'm using camel-flage.

Hey, get off my plane.

In order to beat you, Sam, we'll have to wing it.

(GASPS)

No! (SCREAMS)

(GROANING)

That's the problem with Sam.

He can never get over the hump.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)