Original subtitles

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(CROWD CHEERING)

♪ Well I've been pecking around all over the place ♪

♪ Looking for a gal with a pretty face ♪

♪ When I find the right one she gonna be the best ♪

♪ I'm gonna take her home to feather my nest ♪

♪ I say feather my nest ♪

(CHEERING)

♪ I say feather my nest ♪

(ALL CHEERING)

♪ On the record ♪

♪ You gotta come feather my nest, yeah ♪

Ah, they love me tender.

And I love their legal tender.

Speaking of which, who wants to buy t-shirts?

(ALL CHEERING)

Don't be cruel, ladies.

(SCREAMING)

(GROANS)

A music festival?

Time to check out the snack bar.

Come on over to the refreshment stands

so I can take all your money.

(STAMMERING) I mean, to look at all your pretty faces.

(ALL GIGGLING)

(GOBBLING)

Boy, I say, boy!

What to you think you are doing

wolfing down all my hot dogs?

Wolfing? Dogs? That's a joke, son.

Why ain't you laughing?

Well, for starters, this root beer is flat.

These stuffed pretzels are hard as rocks. (GLASS BREAKING)

And this popcorn is more like flop-corn.

In other words,

these refreshments are about as stale as your jokes, son.

You can't just eat all that food.

You have to pay for it.

No, I don't. I snuck in without a ticket, fair and square.

I say you are a freeloader, sir.

And I'll give you something for free.

A boot in the behind!

And now, where were we, ladies?

(DAFFY SLURPING)

Boy! What are you doing now?

Well, this nacho cheese is pretty good.

But it's "nacho" cheesy as your singing.

Why you-- (THUD)

Uh-oh, looks like someone's got pizza-face.

(DAFFY LAUGHING)

So, me and Matthew Mcconaujay,

are playing the bongo drums and uh--

Oh, by the way did I mention,

I am close friend with Matthew McConaujay?

Great bird. Real blue.

Anyway-- You!

You, sir, have besmudged my order.

Now stand up and receive your comeuppance.

Comeuppance? What's that? Like 2 bucks?

No, it's two fists.

(GROANS)

(CLANGING)

I guess it's here today, gong tomorrow.

(GIGGLING)

Now, I got you! Huh?

Yoo-hoo.

Woo-hoo.

(SINGING CHORUS) ♪ Yoo-hoo ♪

(GRUNTING)

(WHISTLING)

(FOGHORN GRUNTING)

(GROANING)

Ah! A mummy!

(CACKLES)

Where do you think you're going, pal?

This is a VIP tent.

I am Foghorn Leghorn, the VIP.

So, I suggest you check your list.

(INHALES, SPITS)

Sorry, bro. I don't see your name on the list.

Right this way, ladies.

Hey, you just let them right in.

It's ladies night, bro.

Chicks get in free.

Ladies night, huh?

(IN FEMALE VOICE) Hello. I say, hello handsome.

Is this the VIP area?

O-M-G.

You are gorgeous.

(YELPS)

You are too good for that dirty old tent. You deserve better.

Oh, (CHUCKLING) that's very sweet.

But I'm just trying to get into the VIP--

Marry me.

(IN MALE VOICE) What are you talking about-- (STAMMERING)

(IN FEMALE VOICE) But I just met you.

Don't you believe in love at first sight?

Give me a chance, please.

Well, if I marry you,

will you let me into the VIP area?

Oh, yes. Of course.

Then I accept.

Do you take this chicken

to be your lawful wedded wife? I do.

Do you wish you were somewhere else?

Oh, I do.

Then you may kiss the bride.

(SMOOCHES)

Look at those tail feathers.

Are you looking at another woman?

Hey, you're that duck!

Hey, you're that chicken!

How ironic that we had to hide behind these masks

to show our true feelings.

(KISSING) Woo-hoo!

Gosh, it's so dark in here.

I can't see my own beak in front of my face.

(GROANING)

Why am I hunka-hunka glowing bird?

Why, you'll pay for this, duck.

(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

(GROANS) (CACKLES)

DAFFY: Woo-hoo!

I say, get back here. You little-- Ah!

(CROWD CHEERING)

Help! (SHOUTING)

Somebody, get me to that stage!

(YELLS)

Woo!

(PARTY MUSIC PLAYING)

Now that crazy duck is stealing all my fans.

I say, get over here, boy.

♪ I say, I say, get-get get over here, b-- boy. ♪

(GRUNTS) I hope you like pop songs.

'Cause I'm gonna pop you in the mouth.

♪ I-- I pop you-you you-- in the mouth ♪

(CROWD CHEERING)

I've never heard a crowd cheer that loud.

Why, they're more excited than cat at a mouse convention.

We're a hit.

We are indeed.

And that gives me an idea.

(PLAYING GUITAR)

(PLAYING BEAT OVER GUITAR) (CHEERING)

Well, it's like I always say.

If you can't beat 'em,

play a beat they can dance to.

Drop a fat beat DJ Duck.

(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING) (CROWD CHEERING)

Greetings, losers.

It is I, Blacque Jacque Shellacque.

I have dispatched the most diabolical plot of all time.

I've kidnapped Santa Claus.

Uh, wait a minute. What-- What is that?

We thought you said, "Kidnap an ant with saws."

Why would---

Santa Claus!

Big guy? Red suit?

Oh, Santa Claus.

Let me out of here.

Never!

You had me on the naughty list for 30 years.

You clearly deserved it.

Well, my days of getting coal are over.

(SANTA EXCLAIMING)

Unless you send all the holiday presents in the world to me,

you will never see Santa Claus, again.

(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

Okay, there. How was that?

My camera is still on.

They can see me in my underwear?

That was 24 hours ago,

and that's why you're at the north pole

streaking across the ice on a snow mobile.

Just once, I'd like a holiday off.

And I'd like to play lead guitar for Foghat,

but that ain't happening either.

Now, Santa has to deliver

all his presents by tomorrow morning.

So, if you can't save him tonight,

the holidays will be ruined for everyone.

You're filming me from the waist up, right?

♪ Deck the halls with boughs of Pepe ♪

♪ Falalala la la la la ♪

What are you doing?

I've come to deliver your holiday gift.

If you are good, I will let you open it early.

Get away from me. I don't have time for presents.

Very well. Then I suppose your present

will by my presence.

Ugh. Gross.

(LASER FIRES) You fool.

You led them to us. Steady, Gary.

Whoa. What are you doing?

Taking a few selfies.

(PEPE GASPS)

Okay, fine. We will work together.

Hold on tight.

Okay. Not so tight.

CLAUDETTE: Get ready to jump. Jump!

(PEPE YELLS)

I said to jump on my mark.

You said to hold on tight.

We will have to snowboard the rest of the way.

That is very, how do you say? Radical.

So, they escaped, eh?

Well, let us see how they do

against my army of snow boarding penguin ninjas.

Not to be a smarty-pants Stanley

but there aren't any penguins in the north pole.

They're imported, okay?

♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells ♪

♪ Jingle all the way ♪

♪ Oh, what fun it is to be ♪

♪ Beating penguins up all day ♪

We did it.

Now to find Blacque Jacque's secret lair.

CLAUDETTE: (SHOCKED) A cyborg polar bear?

Why does it have to be a cyborg?

A regular polar bear is just as dangerous.

Hey, is this a bad time to ask for a new bike?

Claudette and Le Pew,

come to save the day.

You couldn't even save a cookie

if you wrapped it in a nut and then put it in your pocket for later.

Speaking of which,

would you like a cookie, Santa?

I'm so hungry.

Oh, then you would really like this nice,

freshly baked, delicious, chocolate chip cookie.

My favorite.

Ha! Not for you.

Oh, you monster!

Let us go, Blacque Jacque Shellacque.

Never. (LAUGHS)

Or should I say, "Ho-ho-ho."

Because I am Santa Claus now.

My robot reindeer and I are going to put coal in everyone's stocking.

Best Christmas ever.

We've got to stop him.

I have an idea. Monsieur Polar Bear,

I have a salmon for you.

(SNIFFING)

Why did you have a Salmon?

Doesn't every secret agent

have a salmon in their pocket?

You are going to totally throw off his eating schedule!

Penguin ninjas, attack.

(GROANS) These guys, again?

Don't worry. I've got this.

(ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING)

(GROANING)

Happy holidays.

Impressive. They should call you, Sanit Kick-olas.

Everyone always talks about the red suit.

No one notices the black belt.

Ho-ho-ho!

Look at me, I am Santa Claus, you know.

So long, losers.

Not so fast. (GRUNTS)

Hey, what are you up to? (GRUNTS)

(BLACQUE GROANING)

This is not the last you see

of Blacque Jacque Shellacque-- (THUDDING)

(THUDDING CONTINUES)

Since the holidays are saved,

how about kissing me under the mistletoe?

Well, if you insist.

(SMOOCHES)

Now, isn't that better than a bike?

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got presents to deliver.

Jingle bells!

Santa Claus, out. Ho-ho-ho.

I have heard of mummy kissing Santa Claus

but that was ridiculous.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)